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Phib - My original e-ring was 0.21 ct. My house has 1200 sq. ft. We drive our cars for at least 10 years. We live in a very modest neighborhood. I pay my bills in full every month. My upgrade to a 1.5 ct diamond came after 25 years of saving and investing and living well below our means. My company sold several years ago and the employees received a very nice bonus. That went into my upgrade. My ring says we are doing pretty well, which we are.

I'd love to get a 2+ ct colored diamond ring, but it is going to take some time and more saving. In the meantime, I am having a ball here on PS. I have always loved pretty sparkly things. I am delighted that people can afford a nice diamond and enjoy the stories of their pretties.
 
Phiberoptik,
I have been thinking a lot about your post and it made me a little sad. From the sound of your post it sounds like you are having a bad night and did not mean it to come accross the way it did. I think 4k is a great amount of money, seriously! For my hubby and I, he saved and bought me my ring and then we upgraded to my 1.5 carat but that took awhile. I guess the part that is sticking w/me is that you sound down about the whole thing; I may be completely wrong, but I think you should be excited to buy your love the ring you can afford. Seriously, who cares what other people can afford (if you worry about the Jones life is going to be sad). This is a happy time and buy what you and she love for 4k and then later on at a anniversary (5 or 10 year) then upgrade. Most people do not have 2 carat diamonds, really. I usually see 1 carat around my neck of the woods. Hope that helps and you are going to have a beautiful ring and since it is well cut it will sparkle like mad!!!
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Skippy--you are like a ray of sunshine!

I love reading your posts, and I''m so glad you replied to this one.
 
Hi there,

I agree with other posters.. most of us here are a little older (my hubby and I will be turning 36 this Nov) and have reached a comfortable place in our lives. Our careers may have already taken off or investments paid off and basic needs have been looked after. I agree with getting a good education and working hard to reach that comfortable place in life. Of course there must be savings for a rainy day.

I don''t drive a fanciful car.. I find cars a waste of $ as it all goes down the drain in terms of depreciation. I do know people who drive very fanciful cars and find buying jewelry for their wives a total waste of money and I''m glad my hubby isn''t like that.
 

Good response Skippy!


For myself - I''d say save and shop smart! I have many gorgeous things that I know I got a great deal on. Do your homework and make your money work for you. One of the things I always remind myself of is to be patient, wait for the right ring at the right price. Don''t spend $5,000 for something nice when you could wait, save some more and then spend $10k on something fab - even if the saving takes a long time.


I know I have a great collection of jewelry and I''m not sorry for the money I spent on it. That''s because I know I only spend what I can afford to spend and only after I have taken care of the really important things in life. I make sure my family has everything they need and that I always give "back to the world". I give to many charities, try to "live green", never pay someone else to do something I could do myself (even if that will take me some effort!), volunteer my time for good causes, etc.


I could go on and on but you see what I am getting at. Basically I can spend on these luxuries because I work hard to make sure I can. And believe me - there have been many, many years in which I bought nothing at all.

 
Its all relative anyway.. there are very very very few people here who can drop $20k much less more on a regular basis on diamonds.
Much more common are people who started out with smaller diamonds and even no diamond and now that they are older and more settled spend that much on a once in lifetime upgrade.

Plus for a few hundred anyone could put together a pendant that those same people that have 20k rings would love too have because its more realistic to what they can afford and they like sparky beautiful things!
Personally for me an wifey2b even if we could afford it would likely skip the 20k diamond and go for the few hundred dollar items.
Visit the colored stone forum and you will find a lot of people getting blinged out for not a lot of money.
 
FWIW, I think my FI feels the same way! lol. He's just a real practical person (hope that didn't come out wrong) who I doubt would ever drop 20k on a "rock" for me. Which means that if I ever feel the need to upgrade I'll be using my own money. I'd probably do it like Mara and upgrade little by little over time. Maybe I'm used to it now or something, but 20k for a diamond doesn't make my jaw drop anymore. It's when people come on here wiith 70k burning a hole in their pocket that MY practical side comes out. I don't think I could ever justify spending that much money....but would I be singing a different tune if I HAD that amound of money to spend? I dunno. Someone's 70k could be another person's 4k.
 
I think Skippy shines brighter than ANY stone on PS!!!!

Love you girl!!!!!
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This question is completely ridiculous in my opinion. Why stainless steel appliances? Why front loading washers/dryers? Why central vac? Why why why....
Buy what you want, how you want, when you want, where you want.

Skippy, obviously you''re much softer than I am. LOL

Judy
:-)
 
Am I the only one who thought the OP was such a ludicris question that it didn''t warrant a reply? I thought it was a little insulting actually.
 
Phiberoptik, such is life! If you aren't lucky enough to be born into wealth, go out there and earn it yourself. That said, people have different priorities in life and choose to spend their money as they fit...for some that might mean a nice house, or a fancy car or a luxury vacation or even all of the above if they can afford it. Who are you to judge other people and how they spend their money?
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Date: 10/25/2007 6:32:31 PM
Author:phiberoptik
Ok so I have been on here a few months mostly reading and searching and less posting. I see so many threads about people buying 2ct+ diamonds like its no big deal. So I ask you all out there... what do you or should I say, what does your significant other do, to afford you ridiculously expensive jewelry. 20K for a stone? 37K for a stone?

Its ludicrous to me but to each there own. Maybe I should ask how big is your house and what do you drive as well... if you can spend almost $40K on a ring...

Please... tell away. And if you feel like gifting any of your money to a poor broke soul trying to afford a $4k ring... Ill gladly email you my address. I accept paypal also!
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DH got a second job as a pimp and I got a second job as drug mule. It was a bit dangerous, but I do love my bling!

Oh, and we live in a shoe box and drive big wheels.

All about priorities!
 
Date: 10/26/2007 8:43:13 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Am I the only one who thought the OP was such a ludicris question that it didn''t warrant a reply? I thought it was a little insulting actually.
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Hudson, sweetie... Don''t feel insulted over this... It was worded poorly, I agree, but I don''t think it was meant to be insulting.
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Date: 10/26/2007 8:43:13 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Am I the only one who thought the OP was such a ludicris question that it didn''t warrant a reply? I thought it was a little insulting actually.
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I agree Hudson...I know it''s hard to hear someone''s tone when they posting, but just reading his words left a bad taste in my mouth.
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Date: 10/26/2007 9:31:26 AM
Author: anchor31

Date: 10/26/2007 8:43:13 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Am I the only one who thought the OP was such a ludicris question that it didn''t warrant a reply? I thought it was a little insulting actually.
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Hudson, sweetie... Don''t feel insulted over this... It was worded poorly, I agree, but I don''t think it was meant to be insulting.
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I actually thought the OP''s message was a failed attempt at flattery.
The only part, in my mind, that could have been insulting was the "It''s ludicrous to me, but to each their own". And really, he''s just saying what I''m sure hundreds of others that visit this site are thinking. We''re the first to admit that pricescope isn''t an accurate representation of diamond size in America---so where''s the "thick skin" that everyone is always talking about? Everyone''s got their panties in a twist.
 
Your question sounds more accusatory than you probably would have liked it to (as if to suggest we all live way beyond our means in order to get such large, expensive stones and that you on the other hand have slowly worked for it)
I am going to assume this was accidental b/c we are all very friendly on PS!

This is a diamond forum and so those that post regularly love...well, diamonds
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So you''ll find a lot of posters who would rather spend their $ on this luxury item than say a new car, flat screen T.V. etc (this is the case for me and DH--we are not wealthy and we drive used cars, have a tiny T.V. etc. modest home and live in a city were the cost of living is low--i also happen to have a 1.6 carat diamond--b/c that is what WE chose to spend our disposable income on)

IMO, PS is not a representation of the average jewlery owner....
 
I would have been thinking, if not asking, the same thing ten years ago. My engagement ring consisted of two 1-point diamonds set in a gold oval. I may be able to find a link to a picture of it. I am fairly sure it cost under $500, although it was bought in Italy in Italian lire before I spoke Italian, so I am not really sure what it cost. Maybe under $100! I bought my first diamond of over 10 points for myself within the past ten years, when I was over 40.

My question for you would have been (had I ever put my thoughts into words), how can you afford to spend thousands when you are just getting married? How can anyone? We had no money. My husband was one year out of grad school and I was still in grad school. My parents paid for my small and simple wedding, but still had to borrow to pay for that. We used $4,000 as the downpayment on a condominium a few months after we got married, but that wasn't easy to come by. My husband, a big saver, had $2,000 and my parents matched it by giving me $2,000. That led to equity in a home. No one was thinking about a diamond for me!

If I were from a wealthy family, however, why wouldn't a ring cross my mind?


Deborah
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I''m cheap. Husband is cheap. We''ve ALWAYS been cheap--even when we were twenty we lived beneath our means so we could save, save, save! We both come from very poor families, so we both put ourselves through school, worked our dupahs off (still are) and are focused on saving every penny we have. We pay cash for every single expense--in fact, we plan to pay cash for our house--and our main financial goal is to work hard and retire as early as possible! We''re still in our mid twenties, so we have a ways to go!

When it came to the e-ring, my husband wanted to spend the typical 2-months salary, which I thought was ridiculous. My husband would never spend that much on himself and I wasn''t comfortable with him spending it on me. This is why I think it''s important to talk about a general budget TOGETHER so that you''re both happy. We cut the budget in half and were extremely patient and got an amazing deal as a result. We got the 1.5 carat ring (with a half a carat of side stones) AND we were able to go to Paris all for UNDER half of the original budget, which makes us both really happy.

When we were younger and jus starting out, 4k would have been a lot and to be honest, we wouldn''t have done it. We definitely wanted to make sure we were financially secure both as a couple and independently before marriage came into the picture.
 
Phib:I am usually very happy for people who can buy what they want to buy without worrying about money.If it makes them happy then it makes me happy also.Its their business and nothing to do with me.I am very happy about their happiness no matter what I can or can not buy myself..
Look at the people who could never ever spend 4K on a ring because they simply don''t have 4k.
You could share yours with them.I am sure they would be very , very happy to buy a ring for 2k.Think about these people rather than thinking about people who can buy more than you ever can.Maybe they just work harder and don''t even have time to read the posts here....I wish you lots of luck...
 
This is such a nice place, even the trolls get long informative responses.
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I doubt he''s even reading, though I wish he was, and would come back and converse a little more.

Diamonds are a luxury item. They are not necessary to our lives, we choose to have them when and if we can afford them. They are extremely durable, so beyond the romance of giving diamonds, they make a wonderful choice for a symbolic piece of jewellery that will be worn everyday for many years. We didn''t even have 4k when we started out. Our budget was 1K, and that was a stretch. It bought a .26 diamond ring that I wore for 15 years, with no other diamond jewellery at all. It was enough, that was never an issue, because it was a symbol of something more important.
 
Date: 10/26/2007 9:41:21 AM
Author: luckystar112

And really, he''s just saying what I''m sure hundreds of others that visit this site are thinking. We''re the first to admit that pricescope isn''t an accurate representation of diamond size in America---so where''s the ''thick skin'' that everyone is always talking about? Everyone''s got their panties in a twist.
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I gotta say, I agree. I don''t understand what the furor is over.

Yeah, I get it that this person was less than delicate about saying the equivalent of "why would anyone spend that amount on a ring". But ladies, seriously.........comments like that are made on PS all the time. it''s just about diff things.

Read any Tiff thread and you''ll see a similar comment (why would anyone pay 50% more for the brand), and that''s fine. Lots of SI lovers regularly say "why waste $$ on higher clarity you can''t see". Is that really meant to offend those who prefer higher clarity? No.

The OP doesn''t value spending that amt on a ring. His/her opinion, and that''s fine. It''s not personal.

Seems like the ''sensitive-sally'' bug has hit PS pretty hard this week; seems like there''s a lot of ''taking to heart'' and looking for insult in posts lately. Hope it passes soon.
 
People do with their money what they do with their money. There is a wide range of ages, professions and marriages represented here on PS just like in real life.

I am with Skippy in thinking that perhaps phiberoptik was feeling frustrated. Speaking from my own personal experience... I still have the .51 RB (D SI2) that my DH gave to me when we we became engaged 12 years ago. It wasn''t until this year that I had the stone reset. And that was just to switch from yellow gold to white metal. I love my stone (all appraised $3,200 of it) and never plan on upgrading.

Last year, we added an anniversary band to my finger in honor of our 10 years of marriage. So, I can safely say that in 10 years, we have spent just over $4,000 on wedding- and marriage-related jewelery. And I couldn''t be happier.
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We have two young children who might someday wish to attend college and I am currently working an extremely part-time job that allows for me to be home with them. And next year, when my youngest is in school full-time, I would like to start working on my master''s degree. So there will be no $20k jewelry purchases for us any time soon.

This, of course, has not stopped me from enjoying all the beautiful pieces here on PS. If others are able to spend more than me... go for it! AND SHOW ME PICTURES! LOL! I have also found more frugal ways to enjoy my passion for jewels as the small gemstones sitting in their boxes on my desk waiting to be set someday will tell you.

People work with what they got! And $4,000 is a lot... make no mistake about that. For $4k, you could purchase a stone like mine and put it in the simplest of settings... and that lucky lady of yours will still be gazing down at that stone 12 years later like I do now.

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Date: 10/26/2007 10:41:02 AM
Author: lyra

This is such a nice place, even the trolls get long informative responses.
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Oh, lyra, you are wonderful! How true! And it is consistent! The same thing happens in every thread started by a troll; the regulars remain holding civil discourse with each other!



Deb
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Thank you Skippy,
Thank you AGBF
you sum up what I was thinking, feeling better than what I could in words.

As my Mom said, there will always be people (prettier/smarter/richer) than you. Part of wisdom is being comfortable with who you are, and not get caught up in invidious comparision of yourself to others.

(engagement ring =$650, 10 year anniversary ring =$2300)
 
Date: 10/26/2007 12:14:55 PM
Author: AGBF





Date: 10/26/2007 10:41:02 AM

Author: lyra


This is such a nice place, even the trolls get long informative responses.
Click to expand...



Oh, lyra, you are wonderful! How true! And it is consistent! The same thing happens in every thread started by a troll; the regulars remain holding civil discourse with each other!




Deb

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Except that it''s not really a "civil" discourse if you''re assuming the OP is a troll, is it? Then it''s sort of bagging on the OP in a rather passive aggressive manner. Was part of the OP a bit rude? Yeah, probably. But just because someone posts something that might come across - or is - rude, doesn''t a troll make. And while I also didn''t appreciate the comment the OP made about it being ridiculous to spend X amount of money on an ering, I also dont think he''s a troll. He''s posted here before about his search and he''s probably just really frustrated. Or perhaps he feels inadequate because he thinks all PSers are sporting $20k rings. But to assume he''s a troll isn''t very polite either. Just my opinion though. YMMV.
 
Date: 10/25/2007 7:48:05 PM
Author: Girlrocks

Maybe he''s having a bad night, huh? His post definitely came across wrong!
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It really did! I read it and was like...huh!? I had to walk away. I was so happy that belle replied.
 

Ok so I have been on here a few months mostly reading and searching and less posting. I see so many threads about people buying 2ct+ diamonds like its no big deal. So I ask you all out there... what do you or should I say, what does your significant other do, to afford you ridiculously expensive jewelry. 20K for a stone? 37K for a stone?



Its ludicrous to me but to each there own. Maybe I should ask how big is your house and what do you drive as well... if you can spend almost $40K on a ring...



Please... tell away. And if you feel like gifting any of your money to a poor broke soul trying to afford a $4k ring... Ill gladly email you my address. I accept paypal also!







On a quest for the perfect diamond...



How audacious, and rude. Shoulda asked how much we all weigh and how big our 'fluffy pillows' are while he was at it. Shocker
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Sorry I just had to say it, i tried and tried to not post but I had to. "on the question for a perfect diamond" AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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ETA: Sorry I could be a ray of sunshine like little Skipster...but that caught me ALL wrong.
 
Date: 10/26/2007 9:31:16 AM
Author: littlelysser

Date: 10/25/2007 6:32:31 PM
Author:phiberoptik
Ok so I have been on here a few months mostly reading and searching and less posting. I see so many threads about people buying 2ct+ diamonds like its no big deal. So I ask you all out there... what do you or should I say, what does your significant other do, to afford you ridiculously expensive jewelry. 20K for a stone? 37K for a stone?

Its ludicrous to me but to each there own. Maybe I should ask how big is your house and what do you drive as well... if you can spend almost $40K on a ring...

Please... tell away. And if you feel like gifting any of your money to a poor broke soul trying to afford a $4k ring... Ill gladly email you my address. I accept paypal also!
Click to expand...
DH got a second job as a pimp and I got a second job as drug mule. It was a bit dangerous, but I do love my bling!

Oh, and we live in a shoe box and drive big wheels.

All about priorities!
Click to expand...
omg!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! KILLER!
 
Date: 10/26/2007 4:05:51 PM
Author: surfgirl

Except that it's not really a 'civil' discourse if you're assuming the OP is a troll, is it? Then it's sort of bagging on the OP in a rather passive aggressive manner. Was part of the OP a bit rude? Yeah, probably. But just because someone posts something that might come across - or is - rude, doesn't a troll make. And while I also didn't appreciate the comment the OP made about it being ridiculous to spend X amount of money on an ering, I also dont think he's a troll. He's posted here before about his search and he's probably just really frustrated. Or perhaps he feels inadequate because he thinks all PSers are sporting $20k rings. But to assume he's a troll isn't very polite either. Just my opinion though. YMMV.
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I think you are right Surfgirl. I helped him when he was brand new and he is rather nice too.

ETA: thank you for your sweet word SDL, Diver, Haven, and LadyAmy. *blush*
 
Date: 10/26/2007 4:05:51 PM
Author: surfgirl

Except that it's not really a 'civil' discourse if you're assuming the OP is a troll, is it? ... But to assume he's a troll isn't very polite either. Just my opinion though.
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You may be right. My usual rule is to call no one a troll and to act as if every poster, no matter how seemingly disingenuous, is posting in good faith. In this case I should have adhered to that rule since I do not know that the original poster was only posting with the intent to provoke others here. Perhaps he was feeling disgruntled and needed to vent.

I do believe that there is a tendency (and I do find it charming) for Pricescope posters to remain in a thread long after someone who posts has departed and to hash out the matter. When I made the comment I did above, I was actually thinking of a recent thread from Family, Home & Health.


Deborah
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