LadyAmythyst69
Brilliant_Rock
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How can you afford such expensive stones?
- Thread starter phiberoptik
- Start date
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sera
Ideal_Rock
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But seriously, people are at where they are at. The budget my FF gave me is not among the higher budgets here on PS... and that is fine- I feel blessed that he is spending what he is spending. I would not want him to spend $1 more than he could afford; there is no way I would want to go in debt for a diamond. If the budget was 1/2 what it is, fine; if it was 2 x what it is, great. It is what it is.
If happiness is put into things, well, there is always disappointment there because there is always room for more or better or whatever, and being bitter over things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things is such a waste of time.
wolftress
Brilliant_Rock
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I can''t really reply to this thread because none of my diamonds are above 1ct
However, I can certainly see why people would feel defensive. It was obviously a poorly worded post caused by frustration at not being to afford the 2 carat diamonds that seem to be the norm here (even though they really aren''t). There are a lot of PS-ers with beautiful under 1 ct diamonds, but I think a lot of people remember the bigger diamonds simply because they are such whoppers
Anyway, I have a question. What''s a troll???
However, I can certainly see why people would feel defensive. It was obviously a poorly worded post caused by frustration at not being to afford the 2 carat diamonds that seem to be the norm here (even though they really aren''t). There are a lot of PS-ers with beautiful under 1 ct diamonds, but I think a lot of people remember the bigger diamonds simply because they are such whoppers
Anyway, I have a question. What''s a troll???
diamondfan
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I think one of the most important comments was that if material things define you (I am paraphrasing), there will likely always be a sense of inadequacy. There are ALWAYS people with more, as there are with less, but when we are trying to compete or play catch up (general comment, NOT assuming OP is) we are bound to feel let down and not recall the people who have less who would view our things as amazing. Perspective is everything. Never make assumptions about what people have and how they got it, and try to know there will always be someone with a bigger house, nicer diamond, fancier car, etc. So decide what you can afford or what your priorities are, and be happy with it. Much better way to live.
Beacon
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AGAIN, soooo well said...DF, AGBF, Skippy, etc. I hope the OP doesn''t feel like he''s been run out of town here...
We''re all of us at different places in lfe no matter what, where, when or why...my father always told me there are three important things in life: your HEALTH, HAPPINESS, and WEALTH. In that order. It has always made a lot of sense to me, and fortunately I married someone who shares the same values. We know where we stand, where we would like to be ultimately, but in the meantime we work on our health and well-being because after all we believe that nothing else can make us stronger in the long run. Along the way though, our heads are certainly turned by material goods and we have and will continue to take advantage of those while it''s financially ok for us without kiddies. LOL!
Hope the OP comes back, I hate to see someone venture into threads like this and be deterred completely. I think we''re all capable of being positive and giving while sitill maintaining reality.
Ellen
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_trollDate: 10/27/2007 12:09:43 AM
Author: wolftress
Anyway, I have a question. What''s a troll???
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Sorry. A different day, a different perspective. I don''t think the OP here is a troll, but I did consider the post trolling in nature. But I can read it today and just see a young man who is frustrated with his perceptions of what expectations might be in the real world. PS is not the real world. It is a niche market of "prosumers" and collectors. My comment was really based on a few other threads I read where there were OP''s who made similar remarks and had very few posts and yet everyone still stayed levelheaded and informative, if not helpful per se. My comment was meant to be a kudo to the posters and members who go out of their way daily regardless of what situations are thrown at them here.Date: 10/26/2007 4:05:51 PM
Author: surfgirl
Except that it''s not really a ''civil'' discourse if you''re assuming the OP is a troll, is it? Then it''s sort of bagging on the OP in a rather passive aggressive manner. Was part of the OP a bit rude? Yeah, probably. But just because someone posts something that might come across - or is - rude, doesn''t a troll make. And while I also didn''t appreciate the comment the OP made about it being ridiculous to spend X amount of money on an ering, I also dont think he''s a troll. He''s posted here before about his search and he''s probably just really frustrated. Or perhaps he feels inadequate because he thinks all PSers are sporting $20k rings. But to assume he''s a troll isn''t very polite either. Just my opinion though. YMMV.Date: 10/26/2007 12:14:55 PM
Author: AGBF
Oh, lyra, you are wonderful! How true! And it is consistent! The same thing happens in every thread started by a troll; the regulars remain holding civil discourse with each other!
Deb
MichelleCarmen
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Yep, I agree with Al. As has been noted NUMEROUS times, it's hard to determine the "tone" of a person's post. The original poster said in his post, he takes PayPal and would love donations to his diamond fund. Is he hinting at a bit of sarcasm? You gals are taking him too seriously. . .
FWIW, I recently found a mercedes forum and everyone was posting pictures and bragging about their very expensive automobiles. Honestly, I thought the whole thing was insane. CARS? Who spends all day taking pictures of them? But some do! lol *IT IS* all about perspective.
aljdewey
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HAHHAHAHA - MC, SO true!
You should have SEEN the WORRIED look on my hubby''s face when I got my Canon w/macro and started taking.....um......about TWO HUNDRED pictures of the same ring! LMAO
He saw me perusing through a thread lately that had a bunch of flower/rings pics, and he looked at me like it was Greek and said.....
"............(long pause of concern)......I don''t really get it."
I smiled and said, "that''s ok. you don''t have to."
diamondfan
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I did not necessaily view him as a troll, but did sense frustration. When someone starts the diamond search, gets sticker shock at the prices and comes here where there are so many well informed people and so much gorgeous bling, it can be daunting. Add to that your soon to be fiance''s real (or imagined) expectations and it can be really scary to dive into the diamond pool. I totally empathize with that. I felt the tone was a bit, shall I say, confrontational, but likely meant seriously, as he might be feeling competitive or frustrated with this process. He also tried some humor, so I did sense overall he really is curious and a bit overwhelmed with this whole situation. My more general points, not just aimed at the OP, was that A: it is better to be okay with what you can afford, not that you should not strive for better if you want it, just NOT as a one upsmanship scenario, since that treadmill gets tiring and is unfulfilling in the long run. B: Do not assume about people''s priorities, income or motives etc, as some people save so well for what they want, or the stone could be a family members...it is just best not to ascribe anything to someone''s material things without knowing the true facts.
LadyAmythyst69
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I agree 100%. It''s the old you can''t judge a book by it''s cover thing. I know someone very well who is nearly a billionaire. On a trip to Italy he was doing alot of walking around - so in shorts, t-shirt and sandals and carrying a backpack. He wasn''t dirty or anything, just not looking fancy. He was trying to buy a wedding ring for his wife and they almost wouldn''t let him in the store. You could tell they just thought there was no way this guy had any $$.
He ended up buying a lovely yellow gold and platinum Bucellati band. It''s gorgeous.
I live in an area where there are a whole lot of very rich people. Some of them are very showy and flashy with their wealth and others you would never have any idea of how much $$ they had.
It just goes to show that you should treat all people with respect. I don''t see why a consideration of their financial status should come into it at all.
diamondfan
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Lady A, that is the truth! You treat people based on how they are towards you, not what they have or you think they have. My mom always used to say "Never go into anyone''s pocket to spend their money". I live in the Main Line of Philly and have people around here who are super wealthy, but they are unassuming and low key. One would never know their worth, nor should it matter in terms of how they are treated...though I aknowledge that that IS the basis for a lot of people. I always remember the scene in Pretty Woman where the sales girls were so rude and she comes back the next day all decked out and they act nicely, but she won''t give the time of day to them!
Skippy123
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phiberoptik
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WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW....
I know none of you know me from someone who passed you on the street today, but WOW, were my words ever misunderstood, dissected, and taken out of context. I only read the first page of responses before the better of me insisted on just replying as general as possible.
My post should have been taken light heartedly and was written right after I had read two recent posts that day about two very high priced rings. It just amazed me (in a good way, like when I see a Ferrari pass me on the road) how people spend their money. Nothing in my post was meant to be derogatory or negative to anyone, of any age, of any income bracket, with any specific size or price of diamond.
"buying 2ct+ diamonds like its no big deal" - Like some of you said, you or your husband or fiance or whomever saved and saved for your ring or upgrade. I am doing the same with the budget of $4000. With my financial position, I find it remarkable (again in a positive tone) that people are looking for ways to spend $37000 on a diamond. I have a lot of appreciation for the people that can do this, or spend $400,000 on a new Bentley, or $3 million on a vacation home. I posted, asking how you all afford these luxuries because Im curious. Not because I want 3 pages of goofball responses.
Re-reading my post, I can somewhat understand where some of the confusion lies. I post on a few forums of different subjects and such on a daily basis, all of which are more local and I am more well known on (personality-wise), so I assume people tend to understand how Im coming off, unlike here. Picture smiling in amazement, flabbergasted as someone else used at how some people afford these luxuries. I worked at a country club for over 6 years and I used to LOVE hearing about people's car collections, houses, and stuff. I bartended and I used to ask the ladies about their rings just because I thought they were so ridiculously big and beautiful. Please do not think by me saying ridiculous, that they are absurd, but just like a 50,000 sq foot house, a $40K ring is ridiculously...COOL! For that I apologize, because to me, nothing I said should have offended anyone or made someone thing I was a troll account or a sh*t starter.
My last comment was a joke... I thought maybe by "poor broke soul" most people would catch that. I mean who calls themselves a poor broke soul and is serious?? Im actually stunned that someone actually took that out of context and said I was a poor broke soul because of decisions I have made in life. This is where I get E-Sarcastic and say...
LOL ROFL LMAO ROFLCOPTER LOLLERSKATES
Thanks Skippy, for at least kind of understanding. I know I dont know you but you have helped me more than anyone on here and I think Ive certainly made clear to you that I am a nice person and definitely not trying to
anyone up.
Oh and... Im certainly not frustrated at NOT being able to afford a 2ct. diamond. She isn't a big jewelry person and to her, anything over a carat would be too big anyways. Once again, I only posted this out of the amazement at the amount of threads I see on here about $20k+ 2ct+ sized diamonds.
Cheers
I know none of you know me from someone who passed you on the street today, but WOW, were my words ever misunderstood, dissected, and taken out of context. I only read the first page of responses before the better of me insisted on just replying as general as possible.
My post should have been taken light heartedly and was written right after I had read two recent posts that day about two very high priced rings. It just amazed me (in a good way, like when I see a Ferrari pass me on the road) how people spend their money. Nothing in my post was meant to be derogatory or negative to anyone, of any age, of any income bracket, with any specific size or price of diamond.
"buying 2ct+ diamonds like its no big deal" - Like some of you said, you or your husband or fiance or whomever saved and saved for your ring or upgrade. I am doing the same with the budget of $4000. With my financial position, I find it remarkable (again in a positive tone) that people are looking for ways to spend $37000 on a diamond. I have a lot of appreciation for the people that can do this, or spend $400,000 on a new Bentley, or $3 million on a vacation home. I posted, asking how you all afford these luxuries because Im curious. Not because I want 3 pages of goofball responses.
Re-reading my post, I can somewhat understand where some of the confusion lies. I post on a few forums of different subjects and such on a daily basis, all of which are more local and I am more well known on (personality-wise), so I assume people tend to understand how Im coming off, unlike here. Picture smiling in amazement, flabbergasted as someone else used at how some people afford these luxuries. I worked at a country club for over 6 years and I used to LOVE hearing about people's car collections, houses, and stuff. I bartended and I used to ask the ladies about their rings just because I thought they were so ridiculously big and beautiful. Please do not think by me saying ridiculous, that they are absurd, but just like a 50,000 sq foot house, a $40K ring is ridiculously...COOL! For that I apologize, because to me, nothing I said should have offended anyone or made someone thing I was a troll account or a sh*t starter.
My last comment was a joke... I thought maybe by "poor broke soul" most people would catch that. I mean who calls themselves a poor broke soul and is serious?? Im actually stunned that someone actually took that out of context and said I was a poor broke soul because of decisions I have made in life. This is where I get E-Sarcastic and say...
LOL ROFL LMAO ROFLCOPTER LOLLERSKATES
Thanks Skippy, for at least kind of understanding. I know I dont know you but you have helped me more than anyone on here and I think Ive certainly made clear to you that I am a nice person and definitely not trying to
Oh and... Im certainly not frustrated at NOT being able to afford a 2ct. diamond. She isn't a big jewelry person and to her, anything over a carat would be too big anyways. Once again, I only posted this out of the amazement at the amount of threads I see on here about $20k+ 2ct+ sized diamonds.
Cheers
Date: 11/1/2007 7:39:39 PM
Author: phiberoptik
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW....
I know none of you know me from someone who passed you on the street today, but WOW, were my words ever misunderstood, dissected, and taken out of context. I only read the first page of responses before the better of me insisted on just replying as general as possible.
My post should have been taken light heartedly and was written right after I had read two recent posts that day about two very high priced rings. It just amazed me (in a good way, like when I see a Ferrari pass me on the road) how people spend their money. Nothing in my post was meant to be derogatory or negative to anyone, of any age, of any income bracket, with any specific size or price of diamond.
''buying 2ct+ diamonds like its no big deal'' - Like some of you said, you or your husband or fiance or whomever saved and saved for your ring or upgrade. I am doing the same with the budget of $4000. With my financial position, I find it remarkable (again in a positive tone) that people are looking for ways to spend $37000 on a diamond. I have a lot of appreciation for the people that can do this, or spend $400,000 on a new Bentley, or $3 million on a vacation home. I posted, asking how you all afford these luxuries because Im curious. Not because I want 3 pages of goofball responses.
Re-reading my post, I can somewhat understand where some of the confusion lies. I post on a few forums of different subjects and such on a daily basis, all of which are more local and I am more well known on (personality-wise), so I assume people tend to understand how Im coming off, unlike here. Picture smiling in amazement, flabbergasted as someone else used at how some people afford these luxuries. I worked at a country club for over 6 years and I used to LOVE hearing about people''s car collections, houses, and stuff. I bartended and I used to ask the ladies about their rings just because I thought they were so ridiculously big and beautiful. Please do not think by me saying ridiculous, that they are absurd, but just like a 50,000 sq foot house, a $40K ring is ridiculously...COOL! For that I apologize, because to me, nothing I said should have offended anyone or made someone thing I was a troll account or a sh*t starter.
My last comment was a joke... I thought maybe by ''poor broke soul'' most people would catch that. I mean who calls themselves a poor broke soul and is serious?? Im actually stunned that someone actually took that out of context and said I was a poor broke soul because of decisions I have made in life. This is where I get E-Sarcastic and say...
LOL ROFL LMAO ROFLCOPTER LOLLERSKATES
Thanks Skippy, for at least kind of understanding. I know I dont know you but you have helped me more than anyone on here and I think Ive certainly made clear to you that I am a nice person and definitely not trying toanyone up.
Oh and... Im certainly not frustrated at NOT being able to afford a 2ct. diamond. She isn''t a big jewelry person and to her, anything over a carat would be too big anyways. Once again, I only posted this out of the amazement at the amount of threads I see on here about $20k+ 2ct+ sized diamonds.
Cheers
Personally, I think you redeemed yourself..hehhe. I could see how your original post could have been misunderstood. But I feel the same. More power to the wonderful ladies on here who can get that $40K diamond. I do love how warm they are on here though, whether you have a honker diamond or a baby diamond. A diamond is a diamond to these great people on here.
good luck on your diamond search..
Julianna
Brilliant_Rock
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Skippy123
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Ditto, it is hard because this sort of communication does not give the underlying tone.Date: 11/1/2007 7:53:02 PM
Author: ang3199
Personally, I think you redeemed yourself..hehhe. I could see how your original post could have been misunderstood. But I feel the same. More power to the wonderful ladies on here who can get that $40K diamond. I do love how warm they are on here though, whether you have a honker diamond or a baby diamond. A diamond is a diamond to these great people on here.
good luck on your diamond search..
ETA: I misunderstood too, Lady and I am no voice of reason.
LadyAmythyst69
Brilliant_Rock
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- Oct 3, 2007
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I didn''t think you were trying to offend anyone. I just think that the post touched off some thoughts that everyone has about themselves, their lives & their bling.
I thought most of the responses were more of an exploration of the philosophical issue of how/why people afford to buy or choose to buy luxury goods. I think most people were replying in that spirit rather than feeling offended. At least that''s how I felt & answered. I shouldn''t try to speak for others but that was my impression.
I''m glad that Skippy is our voice of reason.
Someone has to do it and I''m sure not qualified.
I thought most of the responses were more of an exploration of the philosophical issue of how/why people afford to buy or choose to buy luxury goods. I think most people were replying in that spirit rather than feeling offended. At least that''s how I felt & answered. I shouldn''t try to speak for others but that was my impression.
I''m glad that Skippy is our voice of reason.
darkeyesredshoes
Shiny_Rock
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darkeyesredshoes
Shiny_Rock
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Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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Funny, how this to me is likely a growing trend with some than might be more often seen in the US, I think. Take for example our celebrities (which is some way are the roles models) who have more, buy more and it's all about outdoing each other for TV time, attention, headlines, and their jewlery and consumer purchases seem to follow. What BAG does X celebrity own now, or what dress is she wearing...
Not often do you see large stones on wealthy outside the US just to be large. I think many would prioritize quality over size, and then I am not sure how many average people would want a large display of "bling" compared to here. I think large and shiny is a big part of the culture, and perhaps diamonds have really taken a hold in the US and it's love affair of things pretty. Enagament rings in the US are almost traditionally diamond, where as Europe, not so much, and if they are diamond, they are not as big.
It also helps to make this site more uneven that everyone here is (for the most part) American (or living in the US), so their peer groups have larger stones to begin with, so in a general feeling of increasing over the average, they just get bigger and bigger. But many get married later in life, and after good schooling, good jobs (and in the US, people make good salaries more so than some other countries) and after years of saving, their first ring can often be nicer. Many factors play into it, but it's the importance of diamonds, the higher income levels, the older stages of marriage, the upgrade concept (this is also not as common outside the US generally), consumerism, general use of alternate financing for some, and maybe even a small case of keeping up with the average of your peers, which seems to get larger each year... I have never seen as many 2ct+ stones as i have these past 3 years. Honestly, it's as if the 1ct in NY is passe, and it's the 2ct mark everyone is striving for...
Don't be disheartened though. If you find that a material possession is not what defines you, but the effort, sincerity and love you put into the symbol of your commitment is, then your $4K is actually a bit too much, and I would take half of that and just buy a pretty band, with the rest of the money invested wisely for your future child's education if you want children. The gift of a solid future, to ME, is far greater than the gift of something that can be lost, stolen or destroyed (God forbid!)
Good luck, and enjoy your engagement without worring about others and their spending habits. It's not worth the pain, as there will always be someone richer, and someone poorer than you. You're clearly not homeless, and you're not a Rockefeller, so enjoy being you and having someone worth marrying!
Not often do you see large stones on wealthy outside the US just to be large. I think many would prioritize quality over size, and then I am not sure how many average people would want a large display of "bling" compared to here. I think large and shiny is a big part of the culture, and perhaps diamonds have really taken a hold in the US and it's love affair of things pretty. Enagament rings in the US are almost traditionally diamond, where as Europe, not so much, and if they are diamond, they are not as big.
It also helps to make this site more uneven that everyone here is (for the most part) American (or living in the US), so their peer groups have larger stones to begin with, so in a general feeling of increasing over the average, they just get bigger and bigger. But many get married later in life, and after good schooling, good jobs (and in the US, people make good salaries more so than some other countries) and after years of saving, their first ring can often be nicer. Many factors play into it, but it's the importance of diamonds, the higher income levels, the older stages of marriage, the upgrade concept (this is also not as common outside the US generally), consumerism, general use of alternate financing for some, and maybe even a small case of keeping up with the average of your peers, which seems to get larger each year... I have never seen as many 2ct+ stones as i have these past 3 years. Honestly, it's as if the 1ct in NY is passe, and it's the 2ct mark everyone is striving for...
Don't be disheartened though. If you find that a material possession is not what defines you, but the effort, sincerity and love you put into the symbol of your commitment is, then your $4K is actually a bit too much, and I would take half of that and just buy a pretty band, with the rest of the money invested wisely for your future child's education if you want children. The gift of a solid future, to ME, is far greater than the gift of something that can be lost, stolen or destroyed (God forbid!)
Good luck, and enjoy your engagement without worring about others and their spending habits. It's not worth the pain, as there will always be someone richer, and someone poorer than you. You're clearly not homeless, and you're not a Rockefeller, so enjoy being you and having someone worth marrying!
phiberoptik
Rough_Rock
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Oh and for those of you who are bored...
http://www.rofl.name/roflcopter/
You should get a kick out of this....
http://www.rofl.name/roflcopter/
You should get a kick out of this....
ursulawrite
Shiny_Rock
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- Nov 17, 2004
- Messages
- 388
Living downtown in NYC, I don''t get to see so many big stones--apart from in Dean and Deluca. If ever you''re in Soho, you ought to be pop in for some serious ogling!Date: 11/2/2007 11:27:12 AM
Author: Nicrez
Funny, how this to me is likely a growing trend with some than might be more often seen in the US, I think. Take for example our celebrities (which is some way are the roles models) who have more, buy more and it''s all about outdoing each other for TV time, attention, headlines, and their jewlery and consumer purchases seem to follow. What BAG does X celebrity own now, or what dress is she wearing...
Not often do you see large stones on wealthy outside the US just to be large. I think many would prioritize quality over size, and then I am not sure how many average people would want a large display of ''bling'' compared to here. I think large and shiny is a big part of the culture, and perhaps diamonds have really taken a hold in the US and it''s love affair of things pretty. Enagament rings in the US are almost traditionally diamond, where as Europe, not so much, and if they are diamond, they are not as big.
It also helps to make this site more uneven that everyone here is (for the most part) American (or living in the US), so their peer groups have larger stones to begin with, so in a general feeling of increasing over the average, they just get bigger and bigger. But many get married later in life, and after good schooling, good jobs (and in the US, people make good salaries more so than some other countries) and after years of saving, their first ring can often be nicer. Many factors play into it, but it''s the importance of diamonds, the higher income levels, the older stages of marriage, the upgrade concept (this is also not as common outside the US generally), consumerism, general use of alternate financing for some, and maybe even a small case of keeping up with the average of your peers, which seems to get larger each year... I have never seen as many 2ct+ stones as i have these past 3 years. Honestly, it''s as if the 1ct in NY is passe, and it''s the 2ct mark everyone is striving for...
Don''t be disheartened though. If you find that a material possession is not what defines you, but the effort, sincerity and love you put into the symbol of your commitment is, then your $4K is actually a bit too much, and I would take half of that and just buy a pretty band, with the rest of the money invested wisely for your future child''s education if you want children. The gift of a solid future, to ME, is far greater than the gift of something that can be lost, stolen or destroyed (God forbid!)
Good luck, and enjoy your engagement without worring about others and their spending habits. It''s not worth the pain, as there will always be someone richer, and someone poorer than you. You''re clearly not homeless, and you''re not a Rockefeller, so enjoy being you and having someone worth marrying!
I''m 30 now, but when I got engaged (aged 24) my 1-carat stone was the smallest among our peers. So, it appears this shift toward the larger stones for middle-class Manhattanites happened several years back. I wonder when, exactly?
kellyfish
Brilliant_Rock
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- Mar 1, 2007
- Messages
- 682
My DH and I skrimped and saved over the years. We both went to graduate school and drove less than elite cars (buick!) that we bought with cash when our friends were in fancy houses with big SUV''s. Now that we are in our mid-30''s (okay-late 30''s) we have finally reached the other side of the hump!!! We are still frugal, moved into a school district where our kids can get a good use of our tax $$ in excellent public schools k-12, etc. An occasional "want" gets fulfilled now when only "needs" got fulfilled for many years. I can honestly say we have paid our dues!
phiberoptik
Rough_Rock
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Engagement Ring Trends 2025: Styles Set to Shine
Engagement Ring Trends 2025: Styles Set to Shine - 01/15
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