FireGoddess
Super_Ideal_Rock
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How do I not think about it??
- Thread starter Mandarine
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Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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Thank you Ally!!!! I also can''t wait to post some "I''m engaged!" pictures!!...hehehe..
Mara - Thanks for the compliments! You have no IDEA how much I''m enjoying the new kitchen!. It''s his new house (but we refer to it as ours
)....we are just in love with the kitchen and it just inspires you to cook, entertain and make delicious dinners!!!!. Then I go back to my plain white kitchen and just end up having yogurt for dinner...hehehe!.
FG - Thanks for the thumbs up!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all for the compliments...you all do really help me get my mind off of "waiting" and teach me so much to cherish this exciting time instead of focusing on the anxiety of "when"!
I wish I could hug you all! hehe...yes, I''m a big hugger!...but I''m latin, it''s what we do!
M~
Mara - Thanks for the compliments! You have no IDEA how much I''m enjoying the new kitchen!. It''s his new house (but we refer to it as ours
FG - Thanks for the thumbs up!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all for the compliments...you all do really help me get my mind off of "waiting" and teach me so much to cherish this exciting time instead of focusing on the anxiety of "when"!
I wish I could hug you all! hehe...yes, I''m a big hugger!...but I''m latin, it''s what we do!
M~
KimberlyH
Ideal_Rock
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That''s what it''s all about, Mandarine, and it will happen. He looks too sweet to let you down!Date: 11/13/2006 11:40:10 AM
Author: Mandarine
Thank you Kimberly!. I''m still saving the enchilada''s recipe! Maybe this weekend!!! I just love cooking!
My BF loved the Paella....he was so happy that day his smile almost didn''t fit in his face!!!. Just thinking about spending the rest of my life with him makes my heart beat so fast with happiness!....
M~
ETA: haha Deco!!!! Thank you!!!!!. I saw your post after I had replied to Kim. The dish is really super easy and won''t fail. I''ll post it later in the hangout for anyone interested (I left it at his house so I have to ask him to bring it back!)...
M~
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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Date: 11/13/2006 5:44:05 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Date: 11/13/2006 11:40:10 AM
That's what it's all about, Mandarine, and it will happen. He looks too sweet to let you down!
It really is what is all about.....he is sweet and I trust him...and if he lets me down we can all hurt himhehe...just kidding
M~
Hey Mandarine,
I COMPLETELY understand what you are goint through! I have been with my guy for 6 1/2 yrs now and everyday that goes by, I become more anxious! Around that time of the month I am a nightmare, and that is all that consumes my brain!
I know that it is going to happen before Christmas b/c one of my friends spilled the beans cause she couldn''t stand me anymore (her husband is good friends with my guy and her husband is helping him with the ring)! But even though I still know it will be soon, it''s dealing with the days before it happens that I can''t handle! I hate that I feel this way and I feel like I can''t think about anything else! I also hate that I have ruined it for myself! I have lost the good excitment and now it is just straight up anxiety!
I am also stressing because we already talked about it being next September, and if that is the case we are going to have a hell of a time trying to book a place!
I wish I could give you some good advice, unfortunately I have nothing!mo I just want you to know that you are not alone!
I am the last one to speak, but try to be patient!
Good Luck!
Berry
I COMPLETELY understand what you are goint through! I have been with my guy for 6 1/2 yrs now and everyday that goes by, I become more anxious! Around that time of the month I am a nightmare, and that is all that consumes my brain!
I know that it is going to happen before Christmas b/c one of my friends spilled the beans cause she couldn''t stand me anymore (her husband is good friends with my guy and her husband is helping him with the ring)! But even though I still know it will be soon, it''s dealing with the days before it happens that I can''t handle! I hate that I feel this way and I feel like I can''t think about anything else! I also hate that I have ruined it for myself! I have lost the good excitment and now it is just straight up anxiety!
I am also stressing because we already talked about it being next September, and if that is the case we are going to have a hell of a time trying to book a place!
I wish I could give you some good advice, unfortunately I have nothing!mo I just want you to know that you are not alone!
I am the last one to speak, but try to be patient!
Good Luck!
Berry
janinegirly
Ideal_Rock
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berry, i can relate. i have some "weak" moments when i become consumed and it''s just awful. glad to hear i''m not alone. i too know it''ll happen b/fore yearend (his words), but it only makes it a little easier which seems irrational. At times i wish he knew that others are going through similar emotions b/c during my "moments" i think my bf thinks i''ve completely lost it!
wow..6 1/2 yr is ages. How long has he been looking for the ring, do you know?
wow..6 1/2 yr is ages. How long has he been looking for the ring, do you know?
ChargerGrrl
Ideal_Rock
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Mandarine:
That paella looks delish! It''s one of my favorite dishes. I was fortunate to learn how to make it at the Food Network kitchens in NYC a while ago. It''s all about the rice, saffron, and having the correct pan. I just wish that the one I made at home would''ve turned out as yummy. No worries, i''ll just keep practicing.
And you two make such a cute couple. Your kids are gonna be GORGEOUS!
Kudos to you for enjoying these special moments. You''ll never get them back, so just enjoy them and take it a day at a time. You''ve got a good head on your shoulders, girl!
**virtual hug**
CG
That paella looks delish! It''s one of my favorite dishes. I was fortunate to learn how to make it at the Food Network kitchens in NYC a while ago. It''s all about the rice, saffron, and having the correct pan. I just wish that the one I made at home would''ve turned out as yummy. No worries, i''ll just keep practicing.
And you two make such a cute couple. Your kids are gonna be GORGEOUS!
Kudos to you for enjoying these special moments. You''ll never get them back, so just enjoy them and take it a day at a time. You''ve got a good head on your shoulders, girl!
**virtual hug**
CG
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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ChargerGrrl - Thank you for the nice compliments and note!!!!!!!
sounds like you have a few Paellas on me!
Hugs right back at you!!!!
Berry - Thanks for writing
you are so close!!!...it''s normal to feel anxious. It''s good to know we''re not alone in this anxious and exciting feelings!!!. I also stress about the planning because we had also talked Fall ''07, but I figured if I can''t find the place I want for when I want it I can either go somewhere else or move the date....I have the rest of my life to be with him...I can survive a couple of months longer! hehe
I think we''ve established we''re not crazy!...hehe...just crazy in love and excited about the future....just many emotions at once that can sometimes turn into frustration
. Hang in there gals!
M~
Berry - Thanks for writing
I think we''ve established we''re not crazy!...hehe...just crazy in love and excited about the future....just many emotions at once that can sometimes turn into frustration
M~
If he doesn''t propose by the end of the year, that''s certainly no reason to just give up on him, as you obviously understand. However, I do understand why you would feel hurt if he didn''t stick to the timeline. My boyfriend and I didn''t have a strict timeline, but we had talked about wanting to get engaged around our anniversary, which has passed. I got really upset because the way he was acting that weekend made me sure he was about to pop the question, but then nothing happened. I told him I was a bit disappointed because he had made me expect it. He hasn''t asked because he feels like he should ask for my father''s permission and he''s very intimidated by him... So yeah... Who knows how long it will take him.
I think that you''re guy probably would have let you know his plans had changed when you asked questions about it. Of course, he could be like mine and really bad at picking up on hints and understanding what you''re talking about. Haha.
I hope he does propose before the year ends. Waiting stinks. Stay strong.
I think that you''re guy probably would have let you know his plans had changed when you asked questions about it. Of course, he could be like mine and really bad at picking up on hints and understanding what you''re talking about. Haha.
I hope he does propose before the year ends. Waiting stinks. Stay strong.
Mandarine
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Hi Pookie!. I would most definitely not break up with him!. Our timeline wasn't based on ultimatums, etc...it was based on what worked for us when we discussed it. Many things have "gone wrong" (not with us) this year which I know are the reasons why he hasn't proposed yet. I think he wasn't planning on doing it this late in the year, but you know....stuff happens, plans change. I'm ok with that. Now that our initial timeline is coming to an end I'm getting nervous and anxious, but I trust him.
Pookie, why is your BF so intimidated by your dad?. Maybe you can talk to dad so he can try to make your BF feel a bit more comfortable around him?. My dad is a natural "joker"...he's just always making jokes and sometimes that can be intimidating, he doesn't mean it that way though. I think you should also talk to your BF and understand why he is intimidated and get an idea of his real plans for your future. It's kind of not fair to say "I'm intimated by your dad, when I feel up for it I'll do it"....you guys should be able to discuss this together and have some sort of plan. Just my thoughts....good luck!!!
So now let me give you guys an update.....
The good news
He just told me he has to go to NY to "meet some clients"....the week before Christmas???...sounds like that wouldn't be the best time for meetings. He's not a very good liar...and I don't know why but I think he's going to buy the ring!. All of his friends have bought their rings at the NY diamond district and he has one friend (his best friend) that has become the diamond expert. I might be wrong, but I think this is it!.....the only thing is that if I'm right, this means more of an end of the year proposal...but that's ok. I may be totally off, but I don't know...I just have this "feeling"....BUT...
Now for the bad news
Something happened yesterday that I think will make our plans shift. He didn't say they would, but who knows. It's about his mom (she's ok, nothing wrong with her health, but other problems not related to health or our relationship)...but it's kind of a very tough time right now. I didn't even think about bringing this up, because right now is not about me and by now he knows that he should feel more than comfortable to talk to me if our plans have changed. So I just don't know....I'm bummed about it, but really I'm more bummed about the tough times they're going through
.
So anyway....that's the update!
M~
Pookie, why is your BF so intimidated by your dad?. Maybe you can talk to dad so he can try to make your BF feel a bit more comfortable around him?. My dad is a natural "joker"...he's just always making jokes and sometimes that can be intimidating, he doesn't mean it that way though. I think you should also talk to your BF and understand why he is intimidated and get an idea of his real plans for your future. It's kind of not fair to say "I'm intimated by your dad, when I feel up for it I'll do it"....you guys should be able to discuss this together and have some sort of plan. Just my thoughts....good luck!!!
So now let me give you guys an update.....
The good news
He just told me he has to go to NY to "meet some clients"....the week before Christmas???...sounds like that wouldn't be the best time for meetings. He's not a very good liar...and I don't know why but I think he's going to buy the ring!. All of his friends have bought their rings at the NY diamond district and he has one friend (his best friend) that has become the diamond expert. I might be wrong, but I think this is it!.....the only thing is that if I'm right, this means more of an end of the year proposal...but that's ok. I may be totally off, but I don't know...I just have this "feeling"....BUT...
Now for the bad news
Something happened yesterday that I think will make our plans shift. He didn't say they would, but who knows. It's about his mom (she's ok, nothing wrong with her health, but other problems not related to health or our relationship)...but it's kind of a very tough time right now. I didn't even think about bringing this up, because right now is not about me and by now he knows that he should feel more than comfortable to talk to me if our plans have changed. So I just don't know....I'm bummed about it, but really I'm more bummed about the tough times they're going through
So anyway....that's the update!
M~
janinegirly
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hi mandarine~ i''m sorry to hear about your bf''s mother. I don''t think this is necessarily something that would shift the timeline thought. Life happens, and there will always be something that will come up. There is no "perfect" time, and I''m sure your bf knows your expectation and I can''t imagine he''d let you down because things are so good with you guys and you are clearly a priority for him.
I think your hunch is also right on the NY visit. Maybe he''s already ordered it and goign to pick it up? I don''t really know how that whole process works. We live in NY and my bf has gone to the diamond district a few times (I''ve been paying CLOSE attention), which got my hopes up big time, but nothing yet. I''m wondreing if it takes some time to pick something and wait. I also saw one of my rings put in upside down (a few weeks ago), but still nothing has happened. So in MY case (and not yours), I''ve been falling for some false alarms, but to me they seemed like good signs! ARgh, maybe my bf will bump into yours int he diamond district...
i''m stil placing bets on you getting an xmas proposal.........i said this awhile back
I think your hunch is also right on the NY visit. Maybe he''s already ordered it and goign to pick it up? I don''t really know how that whole process works. We live in NY and my bf has gone to the diamond district a few times (I''ve been paying CLOSE attention), which got my hopes up big time, but nothing yet. I''m wondreing if it takes some time to pick something and wait. I also saw one of my rings put in upside down (a few weeks ago), but still nothing has happened. So in MY case (and not yours), I''ve been falling for some false alarms, but to me they seemed like good signs! ARgh, maybe my bf will bump into yours int he diamond district...
i''m stil placing bets on you getting an xmas proposal.........i said this awhile back
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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hehe Janine, that would be funny if they bumped into each other
It wouldn''t be Christmas because I''ll be gone! (from the 15th-29th)....so I''m thinking a New Year''s eve.....or early next year (if plans do shift).
I know things happen and there is no perfect time....but he might feel as if he''s not being respectful of his mom''s situation if we go on and get engaged while she''s feeling so down. I know she would be happy for us, but still. We''ll see though...like I said, this time is not really about me and all I can do is be understanding and respectful of the situation.
Haha...I think it''s funny you noticed one of your rings moved!...hehehe. I don''t pay too much attention to that so I would never know!.
M~
It wouldn''t be Christmas because I''ll be gone! (from the 15th-29th)....so I''m thinking a New Year''s eve.....or early next year (if plans do shift).
I know things happen and there is no perfect time....but he might feel as if he''s not being respectful of his mom''s situation if we go on and get engaged while she''s feeling so down. I know she would be happy for us, but still. We''ll see though...like I said, this time is not really about me and all I can do is be understanding and respectful of the situation.
Haha...I think it''s funny you noticed one of your rings moved!...hehehe. I don''t pay too much attention to that so I would never know!.
M~
KimberlyH
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anchor31
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fisherofmengirly
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Hey girl!
I''m glad to see you''re in the midst of an up-swing right now.
I''m glad to see you''re in the midst of an up-swing right now.
Although I''ve not read all the comments on this thread, I did want to say that you''re not insane, nor are you not trusting of him or anything negative like that. It''s pretty simple, really: your life is changing, and it''s hard to *know* it is, and not know *WHEN.* This was my main struggle. I''m a planner, and I had such a difficult time knowing something was around the bend, but without being able to identify when, or work on areas of my life that would be effected by it (job changes, moves, planning for a life together, wedding planning, etc.). It doesn''t mean that I thought he wouldn''t do it; I knew that all along. Gosh, we''d known that for ages it seems! It''s just easy to get into a funk when you want something so badly, and feel like it''s sort of being dangled in front of you, even when that''s not the intention at all.
Anyway, I''m glad he''s been able to ease your mind a bit. Reassurance is a good thing, isn''t it? I don''t ever doubt Paul loves me, but gosh is it good to hear it or read it. It''s the same thing with this: you don''t doubt, but you like the reassurance. It''s natural, and it''s healthy that you rely on him in that way.
You''ll be in my thoughts! Paul says hi, too!!
Keep up the good spirits, girl! I''m hoping your cold is all gone, by the way.
ChargerGrrl
Ideal_Rock
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So sorry to hear about your BF''s mom. I hope that she will feel better soon.
I''m sure you''re THRILLED with the news about his "trip". It does sound a bit strange going to NYC the week before XMas. Does he know what kind of ring you want? I hate to read into things too much, but I''d take it as a good sign.
How exciting!
I''m sure you''re THRILLED with the news about his "trip". It does sound a bit strange going to NYC the week before XMas. Does he know what kind of ring you want? I hate to read into things too much, but I''d take it as a good sign.
How exciting!
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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Thank you!!
Kimberly - Thanks! Your advice has always been right on and has helped tons!!!
Anchor - Thanks for dropping by!!!!
Fisher!! - I''ve missed you girl!!!!. I was hoping you would drop by because I thought I''m going excatly through the same thing you were going through a few minths ago!...I kept telling you to elax...hehe, naive little me
. Tell Paul hi to and do keep in touch!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charger - First things first, I loved your wedding pictures!!!!!!!!!!...I dropped you a message there but just wanted to tell you again!. Beautiful pictures! you looked amazing and you guys look so in love!
.
This trip to NY is SO "fishy"!...hehehe. He already bought his ticket so he''s going for sure!
. I asked him why he didn''t push the meetings back to january that way I could come with him and he said "it just has to be done".......I think this is really it!. He hasn''t said anything about our plans changing, so I hope I''m not way off!! . I also like to think that this is what it is because that way it means that he would be proposing either on New Yer''s or early next year...in a way that helps me relax these last few weeks instead of wondering every weekend "is this it!?" hehe.
I think he knows I would like a round diamond. I don''t really care about much more...just want it platinum and simple. At one point he mentioned something like the best way to do it would be to get a simple setting in case the girl wanted to change it later....so we''ll see. I like the simple settings though (tiffany style 6-prongs...yummy!). The ring really is the least important factor for me (I know that''s not a very popular thing to say in PS! haha)....but it just isn''t that important. I know I will love it no matter what he gives me...and if for any reason I didn''t I know he would have no problem if I wanted to change the setting.
I don''t even think he knows my ring size!! haha...
It''s so close...I can actually feel the ring on my finger! oh no wait, that''s just a ring my mom gave me that I decided to wear today
TGIF!!!!!!!
M~
Kimberly - Thanks! Your advice has always been right on and has helped tons!!!
Anchor - Thanks for dropping by!!!!
Fisher!! - I''ve missed you girl!!!!. I was hoping you would drop by because I thought I''m going excatly through the same thing you were going through a few minths ago!...I kept telling you to elax...hehe, naive little me
Charger - First things first, I loved your wedding pictures!!!!!!!!!!...I dropped you a message there but just wanted to tell you again!. Beautiful pictures! you looked amazing and you guys look so in love!
This trip to NY is SO "fishy"!...hehehe. He already bought his ticket so he''s going for sure!
I think he knows I would like a round diamond. I don''t really care about much more...just want it platinum and simple. At one point he mentioned something like the best way to do it would be to get a simple setting in case the girl wanted to change it later....so we''ll see. I like the simple settings though (tiffany style 6-prongs...yummy!). The ring really is the least important factor for me (I know that''s not a very popular thing to say in PS! haha)....but it just isn''t that important. I know I will love it no matter what he gives me...and if for any reason I didn''t I know he would have no problem if I wanted to change the setting.
I don''t even think he knows my ring size!! haha...
It''s so close...I can actually feel the ring on my finger! oh no wait, that''s just a ring my mom gave me that I decided to wear today
TGIF!!!!!!!
M~
KimberlyH
Ideal_Rock
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IrishAngel7982
Brilliant_Rock
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fisherofmengirly
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My computer was sick for a while. I was able to read, but it kept saying my cookies were missing or screwed up or something. I don''t know what it means, but now it''s better. I missed being able to chat it up on here. Paul did a search one day and said I sure was a blabbery girl around this place. Heehee.
I''m excited for you, and oh, how I remember that CRAZY, happy, emotional time of waiting. Honestly, now I recall the fun and giggly *hint seeking* stuff more than anything else. As does Paul, thankfully. You two will, too, I have no doubt.
Yay for things moving right along! YAY!!!
I''m excited for you, and oh, how I remember that CRAZY, happy, emotional time of waiting. Honestly, now I recall the fun and giggly *hint seeking* stuff more than anything else. As does Paul, thankfully. You two will, too, I have no doubt.
Yay for things moving right along! YAY!!!
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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Thank you girls!!!
Last night we had a great dinner. I made one of his favorite dishes (grilled skirt steak with chimichurri)...we had some wine and talked about his mom''s situation. Not once I mentioned anything about engagement and neither did him...like I said this time is really not about me and I just want him (and his mom) to know I''m here for them.
But he said the custes thing!
. He told me he had a dream of us getting married!...and he was all smily telling me about the dream. He didn''t remember the details I wanted (you know...where were we, how was my dress, did I look nice...hehehe)...all he remembers is "you may kiss the bride!"...and then we went off to Rome for our HM
..he said it was a "happy" dream
....cuteness!
Hope you guys are having a wonderful weekend!!!
M~
Last night we had a great dinner. I made one of his favorite dishes (grilled skirt steak with chimichurri)...we had some wine and talked about his mom''s situation. Not once I mentioned anything about engagement and neither did him...like I said this time is really not about me and I just want him (and his mom) to know I''m here for them.
But he said the custes thing!
Hope you guys are having a wonderful weekend!!!
M~
ktkakes
Rough_Rock
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i just found this site and i cant but help feel relieved that im not the only one out there that feels like this.. my story is we have been together almost 2 yrs and living together for almost one! i think now that i have finally found the right person, but im so frustrated .. i feel like im waiting for an eternity for a ring! everyone around me is getting engaged and im still sitting here!
I don''t quite no how to be excited for his sister who just got engaged when i am sitting here waiting for my turn. i cant help but be jealous and dont know how to not let it get to me
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
I don''t quite no how to be excited for his sister who just got engaged when i am sitting here waiting for my turn. i cant help but be jealous and dont know how to not let it get to me
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
janinegirly
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hi kt, you''re definitely not alone! browse around some of these threads, many of us are in the same boat as you: frustrated and waiting but also excited and hoping! Alot of ups and downs. You should start a new thread and tell us the rest of your story..how old are you guys, have you and your bf discussed marriage and your feelings on it all?
Giiiiiiirrrrrrlfriend, you are SO getting engaged soon! I can almost feel it!!!!!!!
Your last entry was sooooo sweet and cute! If he''s already being mushy about wedding dreams, imagine how sentimental he is going to be once he gets the ring! The hardest part for him will be KEEPING IT A SECRET! How do guys do that?
I would NEVER have been able to do that! I keep secrets for my friends and loved ones - no problem. But when it comes to SURPRISES, I can''t do it! So when I buy a gift I end up giving it to them immediately because I can''t wait! And then that usually means I have to buy ANOTHER gift for the actual day - birthday, Christmas or whatever!
Guys must have iron will. My DH kept the secret for about 6 months while he shopped for the ring, planned the proposal & flew to ask my parents'' permission. I would have blurted it out the first day: HEY HONEY! GOT THE RING! OOOPS!
Your last entry was sooooo sweet and cute! If he''s already being mushy about wedding dreams, imagine how sentimental he is going to be once he gets the ring! The hardest part for him will be KEEPING IT A SECRET! How do guys do that?
I would NEVER have been able to do that! I keep secrets for my friends and loved ones - no problem. But when it comes to SURPRISES, I can''t do it! So when I buy a gift I end up giving it to them immediately because I can''t wait! And then that usually means I have to buy ANOTHER gift for the actual day - birthday, Christmas or whatever!
Guys must have iron will. My DH kept the secret for about 6 months while he shopped for the ring, planned the proposal & flew to ask my parents'' permission. I would have blurted it out the first day: HEY HONEY! GOT THE RING! OOOPS!
ktkakes
Rough_Rock
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hi thanks its good to know i have people to talk to about it!
Ok so here is my story. I am 26 and my boyfriend is 28 we have been living together about 10months now. and together almost 2(anniv is dec. 4th) We have talked about marriage! he says he just doesnt have the money right now! sometimes the hopes in my head is that he is just trying to fool me the other is that he is being honest!
the other day we were talking about weddings and what not and he was saying about music and all that kind of stuff! then today when his sister got engaged( who is 23 and been dating her fiance for about 8-9 months( which there is nothing wrong with)) he was like great now your gonna stress about it
I know he loves me and wants to get married its just waiting and seeing everyone around me get engaged is so frustrating to me..as much as i wanted to be happy for his sister it killed me inside! i just kept thinking why not my turn! why not me!
Ok so here is my story. I am 26 and my boyfriend is 28 we have been living together about 10months now. and together almost 2(anniv is dec. 4th) We have talked about marriage! he says he just doesnt have the money right now! sometimes the hopes in my head is that he is just trying to fool me the other is that he is being honest!
the other day we were talking about weddings and what not and he was saying about music and all that kind of stuff! then today when his sister got engaged( who is 23 and been dating her fiance for about 8-9 months( which there is nothing wrong with)) he was like great now your gonna stress about it
I know he loves me and wants to get married its just waiting and seeing everyone around me get engaged is so frustrating to me..as much as i wanted to be happy for his sister it killed me inside! i just kept thinking why not my turn! why not me!
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2006
- Messages
- 3,786
Thanks Julian!...your post made me laugh!....I think I will be the same as you...I''m horrible at keeping secrets!. He, on the other hand...is very good!!. I think it will happen after I come back from my Christmas vacation with the family or shortly thereafter
...I can''t wait I get so excited just thinking about it!!!
Kate...first of all you''re definitely not alone!...and this is a great place to get advice as well as talk about these things and get "tips" from the other girls on how to best handle this time. You should start a separate topic so you really get some advice form the other girls...I don''t think they all check this thread because they know I''m probably sharing some silly stories but nothing too serious
...hehehe. Anyway, my first question to you is have you guys talked about it? Not just marriage and the "future" but about YOUR real plans TOGETHER. This should be something that you are able to discuss. Some guys (like my BF) was not too happy about having to discuss actual timelines, but I needed those to make sure we were on the same page. Yes, he was telling me he wanted to get married...but was he thinking 10 years from now or 2 years from now?. I had this conversation with him at the beginning of the year. He wants the entire thing to be a surprise so he didn''t want to be specific, but once he understood that it was important to me to be able to talk about our plans together then he was more open to talk about it. It''s not a deadline or an ultimatum or anything like that....but it''s your future too!.....I''m ok with the ring and all that stuff being a surpirse....but I wouldn''t be in a relationship without knowing what we both want upfront. Too many times we see girls coming here that are wondering when their BFs will propose...yet they haven''t really had a real conversation about it. Maybe the girl was thinking within the next 3 years while the guy was thinking more along the 5-year line. So it''s not that the guy doesn''t want to be with her...they just have different timelines and different expectations. You won''t know what his expectations or dreams for the future are unless you ask him point blank....in a loving and non-threatening kind of way
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You should still open a new topic to get more advice, unless mine was so wise and it''s enough...hehe, probably not!!! so go ahead and open one to introduce yourself to everyone else
. Welcome to PS
!!. If you want to be added to the LIW list, just post on the first thread and Alexis will add you
M~
Kate...first of all you''re definitely not alone!...and this is a great place to get advice as well as talk about these things and get "tips" from the other girls on how to best handle this time. You should start a separate topic so you really get some advice form the other girls...I don''t think they all check this thread because they know I''m probably sharing some silly stories but nothing too serious
...hehehe. Anyway, my first question to you is have you guys talked about it? Not just marriage and the "future" but about YOUR real plans TOGETHER. This should be something that you are able to discuss. Some guys (like my BF) was not too happy about having to discuss actual timelines, but I needed those to make sure we were on the same page. Yes, he was telling me he wanted to get married...but was he thinking 10 years from now or 2 years from now?. I had this conversation with him at the beginning of the year. He wants the entire thing to be a surprise so he didn''t want to be specific, but once he understood that it was important to me to be able to talk about our plans together then he was more open to talk about it. It''s not a deadline or an ultimatum or anything like that....but it''s your future too!.....I''m ok with the ring and all that stuff being a surpirse....but I wouldn''t be in a relationship without knowing what we both want upfront. Too many times we see girls coming here that are wondering when their BFs will propose...yet they haven''t really had a real conversation about it. Maybe the girl was thinking within the next 3 years while the guy was thinking more along the 5-year line. So it''s not that the guy doesn''t want to be with her...they just have different timelines and different expectations. You won''t know what his expectations or dreams for the future are unless you ask him point blank....in a loving and non-threatening kind of way
You should still open a new topic to get more advice, unless mine was so wise and it''s enough...hehe, probably not!!! so go ahead and open one to introduce yourself to everyone else
M~
Trelala
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2006
- Messages
- 138
Hey there Mandarine! I experienced all those feelings too, dated my bf for 10 years (we''re high school sweethearts) before he finally proposed. And two years before he proposed, my dad was bugging me about getting married. So a deadline was set for Dec 2005, and it passed. To be fair, it was a deadline for him to get a job, haha, not to propose.
Sounds like everything''s going to work out for you. Can''t wait to see your ering.
Sounds like everything''s going to work out for you. Can''t wait to see your ering.
allycat0303
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2004
- Messages
- 3,450
Hey Mandarine,
Well sometimes you just have a *feeling*. In any case, I definitely agree that Christmas is not the best time for a business meeting. Everything practically shuts down the week before with Christmas office parties and Christmas bonus. Although I totally understand about not wanting to get your hopes up, etc., so that you won''t be disappointed when the big time comes! I really don''t know how you are keeping yourself sane though. November is flying BY!
SOOOO....since this is PS
Have you given him any suggestions about a ring? Or are you going to be totally surprised? If the ring is going to be a total surprise too...oh gosh, you would be so much in the dark about everything!
Well sometimes you just have a *feeling*. In any case, I definitely agree that Christmas is not the best time for a business meeting. Everything practically shuts down the week before with Christmas office parties and Christmas bonus. Although I totally understand about not wanting to get your hopes up, etc., so that you won''t be disappointed when the big time comes! I really don''t know how you are keeping yourself sane though. November is flying BY!
SOOOO....since this is PS
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2006
- Messages
- 3,786
Thanks Trelala!!!
Ally - Everything will be a complete surprise!. I trust his taste though and I''ve just given him hints of what I like by commenting on other people''s rings....so he knows I like platinum and simple...that''s about it! hehe
Today I was looking at my calendar at work and it''s just crazy that we''re almost in December!!
Ally - Everything will be a complete surprise!. I trust his taste though and I''ve just given him hints of what I like by commenting on other people''s rings....so he knows I like platinum and simple...that''s about it! hehe
Today I was looking at my calendar at work and it''s just crazy that we''re almost in December!!
Hi Mandarine,
I was out of town for a week but have had a little time to catch up now. I''m glad the birthday dinner went great and he liked the present. The book sounds really cute, and the paella looked great! Yum!
I bet hearing about your bf''s dream was fun. It is soooo nice when they mention stuff like that. My bf sent me an email the other day and it had some sweet comments in there and it just brightened my day.
Sorry to hear about his mother and also hoping there''s no proposal delay. The trip to NY is exciting!! You were one of the main reasons I checked back on PS when I got back...wondering if just maybe it had happened. I''m excited for you!! Of course, I don''t have the *slightest* idea when it could happen for me so I''m living vicariously through you right now and trying hard not to focus on it.
I was out of town for a week but have had a little time to catch up now. I''m glad the birthday dinner went great and he liked the present. The book sounds really cute, and the paella looked great! Yum!
I bet hearing about your bf''s dream was fun. It is soooo nice when they mention stuff like that. My bf sent me an email the other day and it had some sweet comments in there and it just brightened my day.
Sorry to hear about his mother and also hoping there''s no proposal delay. The trip to NY is exciting!! You were one of the main reasons I checked back on PS when I got back...wondering if just maybe it had happened. I''m excited for you!! Of course, I don''t have the *slightest* idea when it could happen for me so I''m living vicariously through you right now and trying hard not to focus on it.
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