How do you save for a down payment of a house?

[sasa]

Date: 7/8/2005 5:15:42 PM
Author: MrsFrk

Date: 7/8/2005 4:03:22 PM

Author: Bobo ^__*

Thanks for all the great advice!


MrsFrk, like you said, I do feel deprived and bitter sometime....especially when my sister have everything taking care for her. The future father-in-law paid for their wedding photos, airline ticket (wedding is going to be in Taiwan), wedding receptions (they are having another wedding here) the House down payment. BF and I envy her...BF also feel pressure, because he know he can''t provide all these for me...



con17, what kind of dog is that on ur aviator? It look a lot like my dog when he was a baby.

I sooooo feel you...I am Chinese (my husband is not), and as you well know, the parents tend to pay for everything. I also grew up in a rather wealthy area, and my family was most certainly not.


With the benefit of hindsight, I can tell you that for many of my friends, their parents- while their intentions were quite loving- did them no favors. They have no idea how to manage money, or what they want to do with their lives, because everything was provided for them. They are now in their early thirties trying to ''find themselves''.


It''s a good feeling to look around you and know that everything you have you earned by the sweat of your brow.

Thank you MrsFrk.... I agree with you. But when I''m so tire of my job or life, it''s just seem unfair that I work so hard to achive so little, but other people can easily have what I have with no work.

 

[MrsFrk]

Bobo, I know what you mean.

People would tell me the same thing while I was working 2 jobs, eating Top Ramen while my friends were on vacation for 2 months, and I would want to stab them.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17

Finally, people are afraid of zero down or 5% down because they think that they''re left with no equity..but the fact is, if you can afford your payments and in areas such as CA, FL..etc appreciation is great enough that you''ll be gaining equity in 3-5 yrs. due to that..

I could say a lot more, but just wanted to give my ''professional'' advice.

where were you during the down cycle (91-97) ? there''s no guarantee that you will gain any equity in the next 3-5 years.

 

[Mara]

Date: 7/8/2005 6:48:40 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17

Finally, people are afraid of zero down or 5% down because they think that they''re left with no equity..but the fact is, if you can afford your payments and in areas such as CA, FL..etc appreciation is great enough that you''ll be gaining equity in 3-5 yrs. due to that..

I could say a lot more, but just wanted to give my ''professional'' advice.

where were you during the down cycle (91-97) ? there''s no guarantee that you will gain any equity in the next 3-5 years.

There''s no guarantee you will even be alive in 3-5 years.

Sometimes you have to take a chance on life.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 5:15:42 PM
Author: MrsFrk

Date: 7/8/2005 4:03:22 PM
Author: Bobo ^__*
Thanks for all the great advice!

MrsFrk, like you said, I do feel deprived and bitter sometime....especially when my sister have everything taking care for her. The future father-in-law paid for their wedding photos, airline ticket (wedding is going to be in Taiwan), wedding receptions (they are having another wedding here) the House down payment. BF and I envy her...BF also feel pressure, because he know he can''t provide all these for me...


con17, what kind of dog is that on ur aviator? It look a lot like my dog when he was a baby.

I sooooo feel you...I am Chinese (my husband is not), and as you well know, the parents tend to pay for everything. I also grew up in a rather wealthy area, and my family was most certainly not.

With the benefit of hindsight, I can tell you that for many of my friends, their parents- while their intentions were quite loving- did them no favors. They have no idea how to manage money, or what they want to do with their lives, because everything was provided for them. They are now in their early thirties trying to ''find themselves''.

It''s a good feeling to look around you and know that everything you have you earned by the sweat of your brow.

i''m chinese,our parents didn''t pay for anything ,wedding,down payment for our house.

 

[MrsFrk]

DancingFire, I think you are a bit older than Bobo and I. We seem to both run in circles where this is common. That is my/our point.

Are you paying for your kids'' education? Did you provide them cars? Will you pay for your daughters'' weddings?
Probably, right?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 6:52:19 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 7/8/2005 6:48:40 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17

Finally, people are afraid of zero down or 5% down because they think that they're left with no equity..but the fact is, if you can afford your payments and in areas such as CA, FL..etc appreciation is great enough that you'll be gaining equity in 3-5 yrs. due to that..

I could say a lot more, but just wanted to give my 'professional' advice.

where were you during the down cycle (91-97) ? there's no guarantee that you will gain any equity in the next 3-5 years.

There's no guarantee you will even be alive in 3-5 years.

Sometimes you have to take a chance on life.

true,i wouldn't count my chickens before they hatch EITHER.

 

[caligal]

Bobo-thanks for starting this thread! I also love the pic of your eski- we have 2! It is very helpful to hear these options as I too am in So-Cal, looking to pay for a wedding, and eventually finance a home. I would give you advice of delighting in the FREE things you can do with each other: look how gorgeous it is where we live!!! Then you''ll keep saving vs. spending- and I also was freaked out by the 20%- but it sounds like most don''t actually do that. Have you thought of a side job? In addition to my job-job, I sell Mary Kay for extra cash. Just an idea!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 7:12:54 PM
Author: MrsFrk
DancingFire, I think you are a bit older than Bobo and I. We seem to both run in circles where this is common. That is my/our point.

Are you paying for your kids'' education? Did you provide them cars? Will you pay for your daughters'' weddings?
Probably, right?

yes,i''m paying for her college education and yes,i bought her a car but,what choice do i have ? she got no income.will i pay for their weddings....not if they marry a chinese.you know the chinese rules.

 

[Kaleigh]

DF,
You crack me up!!!!!!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Date: 7/8/2005 7:29:53 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 7:12:54 PM

Author: MrsFrk

DancingFire, I think you are a bit older than Bobo and I. We seem to both run in circles where this is common. That is my/our point.


Are you paying for your kids' education? Did you provide them cars? Will you pay for your daughters' weddings?

Probably, right?

yes,i'm paying for her college education and yes,i bought her a car but,what choice do i have ? she got no income.will i pay for their weddings....not if they marry a chinese.you know the chinese rules.

What's the Chinese rules?

Everyone has given good advice. I know how you feel Bobo SOO much. I have struggled financially all my adult life and a lot of my friends have had their ways paved by their parents. Some of my classmates had their education paid for by their parents so now their salaries are puuuure profit where I basically work to pay off my loans

. My student loans just about kill me. I know people who make 3x my salary who dont have as many years education as me or the loans. Go on vacations and things and I work 6 days a week. oh those student loans...Who needs a house payment when you have taken out a mortgage on your brain...

It is encouraging that there are ways around the 20% down, even in expensive markets.

Good luck!

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/8/2005 7:18:30 PM
Author: caligal
Bobo-thanks for starting this thread! I also love the pic of your eski- we have 2! It is very helpful to hear these options as I too am in So-Cal, looking to pay for a wedding, and eventually finance a home. I would give you advice of delighting in the FREE things you can do with each other: look how gorgeous it is where we live!!! Then you''ll keep saving vs. spending- and I also was freaked out by the 20%- but it sounds like most don''t actually do that. Have you thought of a side job? In addition to my job-job, I sell Mary Kay for extra cash. Just an idea!

Oh Caligal, please share ur photos of ur eski....they''re just so cute....I''m gald I''m not the only one with this kind of situation, now I don''t feel so lonely now...I thought about getting a second job, but my work really drain me at the end of the day, plus I have to work on Sat. Not every week, but for this month I need to come in every Sat.

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/8/2005 7:57:40 PM
Author: PunchNPie75

Date: 7/8/2005 7:29:53 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 7:12:54 PM


Author: MrsFrk


DancingFire, I think you are a bit older than Bobo and I. We seem to both run in circles where this is common. That is my/our point.



Are you paying for your kids'' education? Did you provide them cars? Will you pay for your daughters'' weddings?


Probably, right?

yes,i''m paying for her college education and yes,i bought her a car but,what choice do i have ? she got no income.will i pay for their weddings....not if they marry a chinese.you know the chinese rules.

What''s the Chinese rules?

Everyone has given good advice. I know how you feel Bobo SOO much. I have struggled financially all my adult life and a lot of my friends have had their ways paved by their parents. Some of my classmates had their education paid for by their parents so now their salaries are puuuure profit where I basically work to pay off my loans

. My student loans just about kill me. I know people who make 3x my salary who dont have as many years education as me or the loans. Go on vacations and things and I work 6 days a week. oh those student loans...Who needs a house payment when you have taken out a mortgage on your brain...

It is encouraging that there are ways around the 20% down, even in expensive markets.


Good luck!

The Chinese rule is guys pay for the wedding and provide a home for the girl.

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/8/2005 7:29:53 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 7:12:54 PM

Author: MrsFrk

DancingFire, I think you are a bit older than Bobo and I. We seem to both run in circles where this is common. That is my/our point.


Are you paying for your kids'' education? Did you provide them cars? Will you pay for your daughters'' weddings?

Probably, right?

yes,i''m paying for her college education and yes,i bought her a car but,what choice do i have ? she got no income.will i pay for their weddings....not if they marry a chinese.you know the chinese rules.

Your kids are lucky...they have parents that will provide for them. I have to pay for (loans...grant....credit card) my college education, my car and my apartment...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 8:44:57 PM
Author: Bobo ^__*

Date: 7/8/2005 7:29:53 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 7:12:54 PM

Author: MrsFrk

DancingFire, I think you are a bit older than Bobo and I. We seem to both run in circles where this is common. That is my/our point.


Are you paying for your kids'' education? Did you provide them cars? Will you pay for your daughters'' weddings?

Probably, right?

yes,i''m paying for her college education and yes,i bought her a car but,what choice do i have ? she got no income.will i pay for their weddings....not if they marry a chinese.you know the chinese rules.

Your kids are lucky...they have parents that will provide for them. I have to pay for (loans...grant....credit card) my college education, my car and my apartment...

if i don''t pay for their education,i don''t know if she would go to college on a student loan.

i look at this way....yes, we would be able to save more money but,when we die they would inherit those money any way, by that time it''s too late for them to go to college.they will probably blow the money on some stupid things.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 4:32:51 AM
Author: MrsFrk


We bought a house in Northern California (Silicon Valley) in 1998. At the time, I was making $11 an hour, my husband about $13.

you were lucky,housing was cheap in 98 during the down cycle.we''re now living in the biggest housing bubble in history,somebody will get caught with their pants down.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17
Ok, I''m sorry...I haven''t completely read everything in this post but wanted to say a couple of things. I have been in real estate and finance for the past 5 yrs. I know that a lot of people have their opinions and such but I do want to say that it is NOT completely horrible to go 0% down or even put 5% down for a downpayment. For those that are putting the 20% down they are doing that to avoid PMI. If you don''t have the 20% you can get around paying this monthly expense by having a first and second mortgage. If you don''t have the 20% there''s not a huge difference b/w having the 5% or 10% by the way...

never hear of this type of loan, when i bought my house in 86.this is the type of loan that is causing the big housing bubble.

 

[Momoftwo]

Date: 7/9/2005 12:02:16 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17
Ok, I'm sorry...I haven't completely read everything in this post but wanted to say a couple of things. I have been in real estate and finance for the past 5 yrs. I know that a lot of people have their opinions and such but I do want to say that it is NOT completely horrible to go 0% down or even put 5% down for a downpayment. For those that are putting the 20% down they are doing that to avoid PMI. If you don't have the 20% you can get around paying this monthly expense by having a first and second mortgage. If you don't have the 20% there's not a huge difference b/w having the 5% or 10% by the way...

never hear of this type of loan, when i bought my house in 86.this is the type of loan that is causing the big housing bubble.

The so called housing bubble you cite is caused by a good economy and low interest rates, not 0% down rates. It's basic supply and demand, but in real estate with a twist. Housing sales are slowing here a bit but partly because people are demanding more and more for a home. The market will relax, but that doesn't mean it will burst. You have made a lot of posts about the housing bubble bursting and how you bought the "right" way. Well, we bought in the right place at the right time and have seen our house increase in value by over 25% in 18 months, but if it hadn't we'd still have our home right now. Anyone who's that risk adverse shouldn't be buying if they're that worried, but most people aren't that terrified of buying a home, they're tired of paying someone else's mortgage in the form of rent.

And, actually zero and low down payments loan programs have been around for years for low income buyers as well as VA loans (up to a certain amount). We never were low enough income to use the former, but as a Naval Officer we bought our first home with $500 down and a 15 1/2% interest rate. We refinanced a year later to 12% and sold two years later and made $500 on the sale. The market was not great where we were, but we knew that we didn't want to pay someone else's mortgage so they could write off the interest and taxes because at the time investment properties were tax deductible for just about everything. That changed about the time we sold that one. VA loans have since changed a little and if you've used it once you have to pay a fee (around 1.5%) to use it again.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 7/9/2005 10:03:54 AM
Author: Momoftwo

Date: 7/9/2005 12:02:16 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17
Ok, I'm sorry...I haven't completely read everything in this post but wanted to say a couple of things. I have been in real estate and finance for the past 5 yrs. I know that a lot of people have their opinions and such but I do want to say that it is NOT completely horrible to go 0% down or even put 5% down for a downpayment. For those that are putting the 20% down they are doing that to avoid PMI. If you don't have the 20% you can get around paying this monthly expense by having a first and second mortgage. If you don't have the 20% there's not a huge difference b/w having the 5% or 10% by the way...

never hear of this type of loan, when i bought my house in 86.this is the type of loan that is causing the big housing bubble.

The so called housing bubble you cite is caused by a good economy and low interest rates, not 0% down rates. It's basic supply and demand, but in real estate with a twist. Housing sales are slowing here a bit but partly because people are demanding more and more for a home. The market will relax, but that doesn't mean it will burst. You have made a lot of posts about the housing bubble bursting and how you bought the 'right' way. Well, we bought in the right place at the right time and have seen our house increase in value by over 25% in 18 months, but if it hadn't we'd still have our home right now. Anyone who's that risk adverse shouldn't be buying if they're that worried, but most people aren't that terrified of buying a home, they're tired of paying someone else's mortgage in the form of rent.

And, actually zero and low down payments loan programs have been around for years for low income buyers as well as VA loans (up to a certain amount). We never were low enough income to use the former, but as a Naval Officer we bought our first home with $500 down and a 15 1/2% interest rate. We refinanced a year later to 12% and sold two years later and made $500 on the sale. The market was not great where we were, but we knew that we didn't want to pay someone else's mortgage so they could write off the interest and taxes because at the time investment properties were tax deductible for just about everything. That changed about the time we sold that one. VA loans have since changed a little and if you've used it once you have to pay a fee (around 1.5%) to use it again.

I concur.

Yeah, the low down payment homes aren't new. We bought our first home on an FHA loan. I don't remember forking out more than $1500.00. The closing cost & PMI were rolled into the loan. We paid the PMI up front (but amortized it over the life of the loan). We renovated and sold the house a couple years later & received a BIG chunk of the PMI back. We must have bought at the same time because our interest rate was in double digits. But, we made quite a chunk of change from the sale. We bought in a transitional neighborhood that by the time we sold was becoming quite fashionable. Funny, our old house was less than 1/2 what our second home costs; yet, our payments were/are about the same. People need to realize how LOW interest rates are on homes. Though admittedly, the market is TOO hot. It's still can be somewhat offset by interest rates.

Sometimes renting makes sense, especially if you are new to an area & would be a first time homeowner.

 

[Mara]

I agree re: standing on your own two feet and doing it all (or 99.9%) yourself. It makes you feel really good to know that you can handle things yourself. Sure it''d be nice if everyone''s parents gave you $200k but that''s not realistic. I have friends whose parents helped them and then friends whose parents didn''t. My parents gave us a present when we moved in, wood blinds for the whole house, but other than that, it''s been all on our own. Sure it''s harder but life on your own isn''t about having your parents take care of you. My parents did not pay for my college either nor did Greg''s pay for either his undergrad or his masters. We have student loans but it''s all doable.

So don''t get too hung up on the parents who help their kids whether it''s alot or a little. You CAN do it on your own!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/9/2005 10:03:54 AM
Author: Momoftwo

Date: 7/9/2005 12:02:16 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/8/2005 12:31:53 PM
Author: con17
Ok, I''m sorry...I haven''t completely read everything in this post but wanted to say a couple of things. I have been in real estate and finance for the past 5 yrs. I know that a lot of people have their opinions and such but I do want to say that it is NOT completely horrible to go 0% down or even put 5% down for a downpayment. For those that are putting the 20% down they are doing that to avoid PMI. If you don''t have the 20% you can get around paying this monthly expense by having a first and second mortgage. If you don''t have the 20% there''s not a huge difference b/w having the 5% or 10% by the way...

never hear of this type of loan, when i bought my house in 86.this is the type of loan that is causing the big housing bubble.

The so called housing bubble you cite is caused by a good economy and low interest rates, not 0% down rates. It''s basic supply and demand, but in real estate with a twist. Housing sales are slowing here a bit but partly because people are demanding more and more for a home. The market will relax, but that doesn''t mean it will burst. You have made a lot of posts about the housing bubble bursting and how you bought the ''right'' way. Well, we bought in the right place at the right time and have seen our house increase in value by over 25% in 18 months, but if it hadn''t we''d still have our home right now. Anyone who''s that risk adverse shouldn''t be buying if they''re that worried, but most people aren''t that terrified of buying a home, they''re tired of paying someone else''s mortgage in the form of rent.

oh yes it is,if all banks require a 10% down this will slow down the housing market because some buyers will have trouble coming up with the DP, less people will qualify. during the last 6 months in Ca, 45+% of the buyer took the 0 down interest only option. if the housing market bubble burst, that will eliminate a lot of construction jobs plus all those other jobs down the food chain.therefore the economy will slow down.i think in the last couple months it has started to slow down a bit.

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/9/2005 2:36:10 PM
Author: Mara
I agree re: standing on your own two feet and doing it all (or 99.9%) yourself. It makes you feel really good to know that you can handle things yourself. Sure it''d be nice if everyone''s parents gave you $200k but that''s not realistic. I have friends whose parents helped them and then friends whose parents didn''t. My parents gave us a present when we moved in, wood blinds for the whole house, but other than that, it''s been all on our own. Sure it''s harder but life on your own isn''t about having your parents take care of you. My parents did not pay for my college either nor did Greg''s pay for either his undergrad or his masters. We have student loans but it''s all doable.

So don''t get too hung up on the parents who help their kids whether it''s alot or a little. You CAN do it on your own!

Thanks Mara, I''d really need this...I guess it''s because BF and I are the only couple in our circle that don''t have any help from the parents, in fact BF have to support his mom every month (the father passed away) so it''s hard for us to hear when everyone around us is getting marry and buying houses while not have to worry about the wedding expense or house down payment. They have all that taken care of. I guess we''re just feeling a little down with all the pressure of the wedding expense and house down payment...

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Bobo!

Well my boyfriend and I have saved up 30% for a downpayement and we haven't decided on what to buy yet (but we're going to buy a reletively cheap house, only about 150,000), so this isn't the same situation as your crazy, insane California prices. My boyfriend is 26 and I am 25 and still a student. What we did was live completely boring lives for 3 years

. My boyfriend makes a good living as an engineer but we really cut on everything to be in the position we are in now.

I think most people that look at the way we live think we are super poor. My sister as a I mentioned in another thread has a boyfriend that lives at home and practically eats 3 meals a day at the resturant. His parents are giving him $25 000 for a downpayment on a house. In contrast, I've been to the resturant about 5 times in the past 3 YEARS! She tells everybody I live a misreable existence. Do I live a misreable existence? I don't think so. I think being debt free is a wonderful thing, I think my boyfriend being able to buy me a lovely e-ring is wonderful. And I think being able to pay off his student loans, buy a car and save for a house is terrific. Just ignore the other people, you will do things in your own time...you wouldn't believe the comments I got because my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years with no e-ring! My sister's boyfriend practically laughed in our faces! He doesn't have this problem because his mother is paying for the e-ring! My boyfriend and I have done it all on our own and there is a certain amount of pride that comes with that!

As for house prices... I have no idea. I don't think they will fall, but I don't think they will continue to rise. At some point, no one is going to be able to afford a house so you can sell it what you want but no one can buy right? I read this qoute in Fortune magazine, "Don't think of a house as an investment, but as a place to live". I doubt that we will buy a house now and get 100% increase in it's value (I know some people were fortunate to have bought at the right time) but I don't see this happening. When I finish school, I'm hoping to sell the house at the exact same price as we paid for it. For us, that would be a success because we would have built some capital, and it's never free to live anywhere!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/9/2005 8:19:41 PM
Author: allycat0303
Hey Bobo!

Well my boyfriend and I have saved up 30% for a downpayement and we haven''t decided on what to buy yet (but we''re going to buy a reletively cheap house, only about 150,000), so this isn''t the same situation as your crazy, insane California prices. My boyfriend is 26 and I am 25 and still a student. What we did was live completely boring lives for 3 years

. My boyfriend makes a good living as an engineer but we really cut on everything to be in the position we are in now.

I think most people that look at the way we live think we are super poor. My sister as a I mentioned in another thread has a boyfriend that lives at home and practically eats 3 meals a day at the resturant. His parents are giving him $25 000 for a downpayment on a house. In contrast, I''ve been to the resturant about 5 times in the past 3 YEARS! She tells everybody I live a misreable existence. Do I live a misreable existence? I don''t think so. I think being debt free is a wonderful thing, I think my boyfriend being able to buy me a lovely e-ring is wonderful. And I think being able to pay off his student loans, buy a car and save for a house is terrific. Just ignore the other people, you will do things in your own time...you wouldn''t believe the comments I got because my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years with no e-ring! My sister''s boyfriend practically laughed in our faces! He doesn''t have this problem because his mother is paying for the e-ring! My boyfriend and I have done it all on our own and there is a certain amount of pride that comes with that!

As for house prices... I have no idea. I don''t think they will fall, but I don''t think they will continue to rise. At some point, no one is going to be able to afford a house so you can sell it what you want but no one can buy right? I read this qoute in Fortune magazine, ''Don''t think of a house as an investment, but as a place to live''. I doubt that we will buy a house now and get 100% increase in it''s value (I know some people were fortunate to have bought at the right time) but I don''t see this happening. When I finish school, I''m hoping to sell the house at the exact same price as we paid for it. For us, that would be a success because we would have built some capital, and it''s never free to live anywhere!

allycat

good for you.

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/9/2005 8:19:41 PM
Author: allycat0303
Hey Bobo!

Well my boyfriend and I have saved up 30% for a downpayement and we haven''t decided on what to buy yet (but we''re going to buy a reletively cheap house, only about 150,000), so this isn''t the same situation as your crazy, insane California prices. My boyfriend is 26 and I am 25 and still a student. What we did was live completely boring lives for 3 years

. My boyfriend makes a good living as an engineer but we really cut on everything to be in the position we are in now.

I think most people that look at the way we live think we are super poor. My sister as a I mentioned in another thread has a boyfriend that lives at home and practically eats 3 meals a day at the resturant. His parents are giving him $25 000 for a downpayment on a house. In contrast, I''ve been to the resturant about 5 times in the past 3 YEARS! She tells everybody I live a misreable existence. Do I live a misreable existence? I don''t think so. I think being debt free is a wonderful thing, I think my boyfriend being able to buy me a lovely e-ring is wonderful. And I think being able to pay off his student loans, buy a car and save for a house is terrific. Just ignore the other people, you will do things in your own time...you wouldn''t believe the comments I got because my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years with no e-ring! My sister''s boyfriend practically laughed in our faces! He doesn''t have this problem because his mother is paying for the e-ring! My boyfriend and I have done it all on our own and there is a certain amount of pride that comes with that!

As for house prices... I have no idea. I don''t think they will fall, but I don''t think they will continue to rise. At some point, no one is going to be able to afford a house so you can sell it what you want but no one can buy right? I read this qoute in Fortune magazine, ''Don''t think of a house as an investment, but as a place to live''. I doubt that we will buy a house now and get 100% increase in it''s value (I know some people were fortunate to have bought at the right time) but I don''t see this happening. When I finish school, I''m hoping to sell the house at the exact same price as we paid for it. For us, that would be a success because we would have built some capital, and it''s never free to live anywhere!

Hi allycat, we are in a very similar situation. BF and I been dating for 10 years, my mom never really like him because she think he''s not rich. Now she see the way we live (no eating out, no new clothes, nothing....every extra penny go into the bank) she thinks we''re poor too...compare to my sister which is being well taking care of. She keep telling me to leave my BF and find a guy that can "take care" me. Poor BF feel pressure all the time...we''re in the process of picking out a e-ring, he keep telling me to get a ring that''s bigger than my sister''s. So at least I have something better than her so my mom won''t say anything....that really make me feel sad...I hate that my mom is making him feel that way

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/10/2005 12:42:27 AM
Author: Bobo ^__*

Date: 7/9/2005 8:19:41 PM
Author: allycat0303
Hey Bobo!

Well my boyfriend and I have saved up 30% for a downpayement and we haven''t decided on what to buy yet (but we''re going to buy a reletively cheap house, only about 150,000), so this isn''t the same situation as your crazy, insane California prices. My boyfriend is 26 and I am 25 and still a student. What we did was live completely boring lives for 3 years

. My boyfriend makes a good living as an engineer but we really cut on everything to be in the position we are in now.

I think most people that look at the way we live think we are super poor. My sister as a I mentioned in another thread has a boyfriend that lives at home and practically eats 3 meals a day at the resturant. His parents are giving him $25 000 for a downpayment on a house. In contrast, I''ve been to the resturant about 5 times in the past 3 YEARS! She tells everybody I live a misreable existence. Do I live a misreable existence? I don''t think so. I think being debt free is a wonderful thing, I think my boyfriend being able to buy me a lovely e-ring is wonderful. And I think being able to pay off his student loans, buy a car and save for a house is terrific. Just ignore the other people, you will do things in your own time...you wouldn''t believe the comments I got because my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years with no e-ring! My sister''s boyfriend practically laughed in our faces! He doesn''t have this problem because his mother is paying for the e-ring! My boyfriend and I have done it all on our own and there is a certain amount of pride that comes with that!

As for house prices... I have no idea. I don''t think they will fall, but I don''t think they will continue to rise. At some point, no one is going to be able to afford a house so you can sell it what you want but no one can buy right? I read this qoute in Fortune magazine, ''Don''t think of a house as an investment, but as a place to live''. I doubt that we will buy a house now and get 100% increase in it''s value (I know some people were fortunate to have bought at the right time) but I don''t see this happening. When I finish school, I''m hoping to sell the house at the exact same price as we paid for it. For us, that would be a success because we would have built some capital, and it''s never free to live anywhere!

Hi allycat, we are in a very similar situation. BF and I been dating for 10 years, my mom never really like him because she think he''s not rich. Now she see the way we live (no eating out, no new clothes, nothing....every extra penny go into the bank) she thinks we''re poor too...compare to my sister which is being well taking care of. She keep telling me to leave my BF and find a guy that can ''take care'' me. Poor BF feel pressure all the time...we''re in the process of picking out a e-ring, he keep telling me to get a ring that''s bigger than my sister''s. So at least I have something better than her so my mom won''t say anything....that really make me feel sad...I hate that my mom is making him feel that way

that''s ridiculous,money isn''t everything.all it matters is you two are happy together.

 

[fire&ice]

I want to echo Mara''s wisdom about having it be your OWN and doing on your OWN. All gifts come attached with some strings. Don''t think it doesn''t.

Looking from the eyes of a middle aged women w/ 20+ years of marriage behind her - nothing is more satisfying than looking back at the hard work we both did TOGETHER to attain the level of comfort we have. It''s a bonding experience. And, I think fondly of the days of Mac & Cheese when we were trying to save. Instant gratification is just that. It doesn''t feel the same as working together for a common goal. When it comes together, it''s all the sweeter.

That said, "things" don''t define you. Money doesn''t buy happiness; nor, does it make you a better person. Money just makes you have the ability to be more comfortable. And, you don''t just make money. You accumlate wealth. You don''t do that buy living lavishly - just because you think you deserve it.

Also, I''ve never thought that people who eat out frequently have more money. I just thought they didn''t know how to cook. Cooking is an art. Don''t get me wrong, I like a good meal out every once in a while. But, something about the preparation & sit down nature of eating a meal you birthed is more satisfying - even if said meal is Kraft Mac & Cheese.

Is it me - or is living with your mother while being an able bodied male in your 20''s a bit embarrassing? Honestly, I''d cross anyone off my list who chooses to live with their mother as a matter of course.

Find comfort in your independence & hard work together. Most of all be patient

 

[sxn675]

Well, I can understand why your sister''s boyfriend lives at home (cultural stuff and all) but I agree with the others - ignore your friends! I''m also Asian and while I received help from my parents while I was in school, I''ve been on my own since I completed my masters. My husband was on his own from a much younger age and his student loans are more than our mortgage (he''s a physician). We have a ton of friends who are like yours, who have parents who do EVERYTHING for them. And honestly, we think they''re wusses. I admit, there are times when I get a little jealous (like when my friend who doesn''t even have a job got a new E-series Mercedes and a HUGE e-ring) but then I think about the satisfaction we have of being able to say that we did it on our own. Also, if parents buy you something, then they feel that they have say about what it is. This way, you can pick whatever you want . And with time, things don''t bother you as much. It used to bug me that I have a small e-ring (relative to my friends). It''s just under a carat, which is tiny in my circle. But, I know that my husband saved for it and that we saved 20% for a downpayment on our house. I didn''t want him to go into debt for my ring, and I''m glad that he didn''t. And honestly, now the ring size doesn''t bother me. Maybe you and your boyfriend should try to shift your perspective a little bit. Yeah, your friends are lucky to have support from their parents. But, you are also lucky to be able to do it on your own and to learn how to budget etc NOW versus later when you have kids, a house etc. Good luck!

 

[cute330xigrl]

As for house prices... I have no idea. I don''t think they will fall, but I don''t think they will continue to rise. At some point, no one is going to be able to afford a house so you can sell it what you want but no one can buy right? I read this qoute in Fortune magazine, "Don''t think of a house as an investment, but as a place to live". I doubt that we will buy a house now and get 100% increase in it''s value (I know some people were fortunate to have bought at the right time) but I don''t see this happening. When I finish school, I''m hoping to sell the house at the exact same price as we paid for it. For us, that would be a success because we would have built some capital, and it''s never free to live anywhere!

Amen to that!

Bobo, are there CoOps in S. CA that you could consider purchasing? The same $400k condo would be around $200k as a coop , b/c you''re purchasing shares in a company rather than truly "owning" the property solely. BUT it still beats throwing it to rent. Hence, building some capital.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/10/2005 10:31:04 AM
Author: fire&ice


Is it me - or is living with your mother while being an able bodied male in your 20's a bit embarrassing? Honestly, I'd cross anyone off my list who chooses to live with their mother as a matter of course.

Find comfort in your independence & hard work together. Most of all be patient

it's very common for asians,even living with the in-laws after marriage.i know i can't do it.