How do you save for a down payment of a house?

[fire&ice]

Date: 7/10/2005 4:00:43 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/10/2005 10:31:04 AM
Author: fire&ice


Is it me - or is living with your mother while being an able bodied male in your 20''s a bit embarrassing? Honestly, I''d cross anyone off my list who chooses to live with their mother as a matter of course.

Find comfort in your independence & hard work together. Most of all be patient

it''s very common for asians,even living with the in-laws after marriage.i know i can''t do it.

It''s been mentioned it was a cultural thing. The Southeast does not have a large Asian population; so, my exposure is limited. This board has been more enlightening about the Asian Culture.

O.K. I have to ask WHY is it common? I get the whole numbers & supersition thing. Most cultures have a version of sorts. But, wouldn''t parents want to push independence. What is the basis for this? Steep in culture or is there a reason?

I can not FATHOM living with my MIL

And, honestly - I''m trying to learn.

 

[Jennifer5973]

We got really lucky. We bought a condo that doubled in value in just three years, so we sold it and bought our house...this was four years ago and in that time our house has almost doubled in value (and this is according to what they are selling for on our street, not inflated appraisals).

I honestly don''t know what we would have done--the irony is that i don''t think we could afford our house now if we had to buy it, at least not with 20% saved...Maybe 10%. But the housing here is so insane--there are 5 bidders for every house and the owners pick the person who can put the most down so if you don''t have 20% and are locked up mortgage wise, forget it--you''re out. Two good friends have just gone through this and my one poor friend says she is on Xanax becasue it was so stressful--they sold their condo and had their 20% in cash ready to go and she said that is the ONLY reason they finally got a house after being in about 6 bidding wars...she moved a town over from me that is a similar real estate envrionment.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/10/2005 4:15:16 PM
Author: fire&ice

Date: 7/10/2005 4:00:43 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/10/2005 10:31:04 AM
Author: fire&ice


Is it me - or is living with your mother while being an able bodied male in your 20''s a bit embarrassing? Honestly, I''d cross anyone off my list who chooses to live with their mother as a matter of course.

Find comfort in your independence & hard work together. Most of all be patient

it''s very common for asians,even living with the in-laws after marriage.i know i can''t do it.

It''s been mentioned it was a cultural thing. The Southeast does not have a large Asian population; so, my exposure is limited. This board has been more enlightening about the Asian Culture.

O.K. I have to ask WHY is it common? I get the whole numbers & supersition thing. Most cultures have a version of sorts. But, wouldn''t parents want to push independence. What is the basis for this? Steep in culture or is there a reason?

I can not FATHOM living with my MIL

And, honestly - I''m trying to learn.

f & i
back in the old countries, or older generations, it is a norm for chinese people,the bride would move in and live with the groom''s parents. there''s no way i can live with my parents

or anybody else''s after i''am marry.i''m more americanize because,i grew up in the U.S. imagine you moving into your in-laws home, after you''re married. soon or later you''ll get into a fight with your in-laws and your hubby is stuck in the middle between his parents and YOU,his wife.

this always happens.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/10/2005 7:09:16 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
I honestly don't know what we would have done--the irony is that i don't think we could afford our house now if we had to buy it, at least not with 20% saved...Maybe 10%. But the housing here is so insane--there are 5 bidders for every house and the owners pick the person who can put the most down so if you don't have 20% and are locked up mortgage wise, forget it--you're out.

Just out of curiosity - not trying to pick at your post - But, why would the seller pick the offer where the most $ is being put down? Wouldn't the bank be the party most interested in this figure?

With my husband and I and the house we're in the process of buying, we found the amount of ernest money put up had a HUGE influence on the sellers, not the amount of money we've discussed putting down.

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/10/2005 12:48:51 PM
Author: cute330xigrl

As for house prices... I have no idea. I don''t think they will fall, but I don''t think they will continue to rise. At some point, no one is going to be able to afford a house so you can sell it what you want but no one can buy right? I read this qoute in Fortune magazine, ''Don''t think of a house as an investment, but as a place to live''. I doubt that we will buy a house now and get 100% increase in it''s value (I know some people were fortunate to have bought at the right time) but I don''t see this happening. When I finish school, I''m hoping to sell the house at the exact same price as we paid for it. For us, that would be a success because we would have built some capital, and it''s never free to live anywhere!

Amen to that!

Bobo, are there CoOps in S. CA that you could consider purchasing? The same $400k condo would be around $200k as a coop , b/c you''re purchasing shares in a company rather than truly ''owning'' the property solely. BUT it still beats throwing it to rent. Hence, building some capital.

I once look up a condo, it''s in the mid $300,000. it''s label on the website that the land is lease, not own. Is that the same as CoOps?

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/10/2005 4:15:16 PM
Author: fire&ice

Date: 7/10/2005 4:00:43 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/10/2005 10:31:04 AM
Author: fire&ice


Is it me - or is living with your mother while being an able bodied male in your 20''s a bit embarrassing? Honestly, I''d cross anyone off my list who chooses to live with their mother as a matter of course.

Find comfort in your independence & hard work together. Most of all be patient

it''s very common for asians,even living with the in-laws after marriage.i know i can''t do it.

It''s been mentioned it was a cultural thing. The Southeast does not have a large Asian population; so, my exposure is limited. This board has been more enlightening about the Asian Culture.

O.K. I have to ask WHY is it common? I get the whole numbers & supersition thing. Most cultures have a version of sorts. But, wouldn''t parents want to push independence. What is the basis for this? Steep in culture or is there a reason?

I can not FATHOM living with my MIL

And, honestly - I''m trying to learn.

It''s true, very common for male asian. They get marry and live with the in-laws. And the wife is suppose to take care and "serve" the in-laws...I don''t know why? I just know it''s a common thing among chinese culture.

 

[Dancing Fire]

my older brother's wife move in and live with our parents for 2 yrs before they bought a house. it didn't bother me back then because,i was a teenager and never stay at home. we don't bump into each other very often. http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/050710/unaffordable_american_dream.html?.v=11

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 7/10/2005 11:52:19 PM
Author: MichelleCarmen

Date: 7/10/2005 7:09:16 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
I honestly don't know what we would have done--the irony is that i don't think we could afford our house now if we had to buy it, at least not with 20% saved...Maybe 10%. But the housing here is so insane--there are 5 bidders for every house and the owners pick the person who can put the most down so if you don't have 20% and are locked up mortgage wise, forget it--you're out.

Just out of curiosity - not trying to pick at your post - But, why would the seller pick the offer where the most $ is being put down? Wouldn't the bank be the party most interested in this figure?

With my husband and I and the house we're in the process of buying, we found the amount of ernest money put up had a HUGE influence on the sellers, not the amount of money we've discussed putting down.

Hey Michelle...My understanding is that there are so many bids on a house, that if bidders are all offering top dollar, the owners will choose who has the most to put down/most cash at hand for escrow. The more money you have on the table, the more is at stake, and from the owner's perspective, this makes for a more secure buyer/transaction (much less likely the financing will fall through or the buyers will change their minds and walk--hard to do when you are out of attorney review and you have $100K in escrow)

To your point, from the bank's perspective, if someone is qualified to pay the loan, then they are qualified whether they have 5, 10, or 20% but in the intense struggle for houses, the oweners want as much cash in escrow as they can get. Both my friends have told me this, as well as our real estate agent and mortgage broker. When I talked to my broker, he said you don't stand a chance out here with less that 20% down even though you might have approval from the bank.

ETA: This applies to the desirable homes--anything nice goes in 3-5 days.

 

[Mara]

There actually is no cut and dry way to snag a house when you are in a hot market....right now places are getting overbid by up to $100k in some areas...just like the old bubble days. My girlfriend just bought a townhouse in a desirable city and paid $40k over asking but she was not the highest bidder nor the one with the most down. She actually was the only one who agreed to the owners terms of wanting to stay in the house for 3-4 months before moving (owner) while she found a place. Guess everyone else needed the house ASAP. But my girlfriend could do that, so hers was the bid chosen. She closed escrow a month and a half or so later and has been a landlord to the previous owner for 3 months now. She finally moves into the house this weekend.

Very interesting to me. Back when I was with my ex and the housing bubble was just getting started...my ex and I were looking at places for him to buy...we ended up bidding on this one cutesy standalone 3 bd house in a desirable area (near Lake Almaden...1/2 a block up!) which was GOD FORBID, $300k at the time (*I* should have bought it!)...anyway there were 6 other offers, ours did not get chosen, but another one that did not get chosen was someone who had $200k in cash for a down. $200k in cash on a $300k house! I don''t recall who the owners chose instead of them or us or anyone else..or why...but it definitely seems ''hit or miss'' as to why an owner would accept one offer over the other...moreso in the hotter areas methinks where you actually have these multiple desirable offers to choose from.

A townhouse at the other end of our building, same unit as ours, went up for sale before we went to PS and they were asking a very high price compared to what the last ones sold (but this is the first time our unit, which is the largest one, was up since last Dec...so there was no great comparative data)...we were like..yeah right they won''t get that...but kudos for trying! We come back from our trip, SALE PENDING and they got what they asked and some people are saying they got another $15k on top of that!

So now we know what ours would sell for most likely. Neighbor next to him walked by and asked..did you hear and I said yes and he goes ''makes you want to sell''..I said..well where are you going to go?????

 

[Mara]

Oh and as a continuation...just out of curiousity...I was looking at the new homes our builder is putting up...and even if we spent an additional 20% on our next place if we sold from here and took our 25% equity and ran...we''d not be getting as nice of a place as the one we are in now! Sure the sq ftage is bigger but the amenities are just BASIC..nothing special at all. And a tiny tiny tiny yard if even that.

Makes me wonder what the market will be like in ~5 or so when we decide to leave and what we are going to be able to get as our ''next step''!!!

 

[fire&ice]

In the end, you never know what is going to motivate someone. Though not in a bidding war situation, we made a low offer thinking it would be countered. The women asked if we could close in two weeks as she was leaving for a missionary assignment in Afganistan. We could. We saved quite a bit of money. This was shortly after 9/11; so, the housing market was experiencing a temporary stunned halt.

When we sold our first house, we had five or six contracts come in the first day of sale. All were for more than the asking price. We choose the contract that offered the most money w/ NO contingents. In fact, they would accept the house as is. They did have an inspection w/ some verbage in the contract that if something unforseen (they knew the slate roof leaked - not unusual in an old house - and some other stuff that was pointed out to them) came up over X amount that they could bow out.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/11/2005 8:27:36 AM
Author: Jennifer5973

Hey Michelle...My understanding is that there are so many bids on a house, that if bidders are all offering top dollar, the owners will choose who has the most to put down/most cash at hand for escrow. The more money you have on the table, the more is at stake, and from the owner''s perspective, this makes for a more secure buyer/transaction (much less likely the financing will fall through or the buyers will change their minds and walk--hard to do when you are out of attorney review and you have $100K in escrow)

Okay, this makes sense. . .we''ve never put an offer down on a house that''s prompted bidding wars. Two of the three houses we''ve purchased have been ones where there were three or four offers w/in the first few days, most at or over asking price by up to $10K and both above-asking price offers we presented were accepted as is. . . I cannot imagine having to need $100k set aside in escrow - we didn''t set aside nearly this much. . .if my husband & I ever move to the east coast, we''ll end up living in cardboard boxes!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Three Florida metropolitan regions led the nation in price growth. The biggest jump was in Bradenton, where prices were up 45.6 percent to an average of $275,100. Sarasota, Fla., saw housing values rise 36 percent and the West Palm Beach area jumped up 35.9 percent from the first quarter of 2004 to a median value of $362,800.

Prices in these regions showed the largest annual increase, but they''re not the highest-valued home market. Californians pay the most nationally. San Franciscans shop a housing market where the median price for an existing home is $689,200 and in Anaheim-Santa Ana the price is $656,900.

Shopping for a bargain? Resale prices were lowest in Youngstown-Warren, Ohio, where the median price is $82,400.

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 7/11/2005 2:10:59 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Shopping for a bargain? Resale prices were lowest in Youngstown-Warren, Ohio, where the median price is $82,400.

Holy ****. I can pay CASH for a house there!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/11/2005 2:33:28 PM
Author: ForteKitty

Date: 7/11/2005 2:10:59 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Shopping for a bargain? Resale prices were lowest in Youngstown-Warren, Ohio, where the median price is $82,400.

Holy ****. I can pay CASH for a house there!

FK
you not only beautiful but, loaded too

 

[partgypsy]

Wow! I didn''t realize things were so crazy in southern California! I don''t know how anyone affords to buy a house in California! My only suggestion would be to build a time machine, go back around 40 years and buy a bunch of land....
Seriously I was also going to give the advice of finding a 0% or 5% loan as long as you could afford the monthly payments, but it sounds like you may need cash to close the sale.

I completely sympathize with you. After I graduated from college both my husband and I had no financial help from our parents, even though both of our sets of parents were not poor. For my husbands parents it is a principle with them (they are like that with all their children while going on multiple European vacations) while my father has helped out my siblings many times. There were many times I could have used some help especially in graduate school. And I would have to admit I would feel life is unfair when I would hear my siblings getting a downpayment to a house, Dad paying off the loan for a new car, etc). Maybe I have too much pride, but I would have died rather than ask my father for help. And I know my father sees me differently than the squeaky wheels of the family, and that is worth more to me than the money. Psychologically I am in much better shape because I know I can do it on my own, while my siblings haven''t learned that.
Six years ago we bought a fixer upper house for 0% down and we (or rather my husband

) put in alot of sweat equity rehabbing it. It is now a very pleasant home in an area that is desirable and going up in value. We see alot of jaws drop when they hear how much we originally bought the house for.
To put the kicker on it, when we were first considering buying this house my husband''s mother (not only were they not going to help us out financially), she tried to convince us NOT to buy the house and even called my mother to try to convince us not to buy it, because it needed too much work! That was certainly true, but we we could not afford a house in their price range! And if we listened to the naysayers, we would probably still be renting a mediocre place that costs more than our monthly mortgage payment.
So I guess I have to say, there is no one right way to get into a house. At the same time, you shouldn''t tie up your feeling of selfworth in either your net worth or ownership of a house. Both are nice, but the measure of a person is how one lives ones life. A hundred years from now, are people going to remember you saying "she had a nice house"? They will remember you for the things you did and the lives you touched.



On second thought, my advice is to move to another part of the country.

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 7/11/2005 2:41:33 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/11/2005 2:33:28 PM
Author: ForteKitty

Date: 7/11/2005 2:10:59 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Shopping for a bargain? Resale prices were lowest in Youngstown-Warren, Ohio, where the median price is $82,400.

Holy ****. I can pay CASH for a house there!

FK
you not only beautiful but, loaded too

Not loaded, just stingy.

I clip coupons, don''t buy any designer clothing (blasphemy in L.A., yes), and save 70+% of my income.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 7/11/2005 1:47:31 PM
Author: MichelleCarmen

Date: 7/11/2005 8:27:36 AM
Author: Jennifer5973

Hey Michelle...My understanding is that there are so many bids on a house, that if bidders are all offering top dollar, the owners will choose who has the most to put down/most cash at hand for escrow. The more money you have on the table, the more is at stake, and from the owner''s perspective, this makes for a more secure buyer/transaction (much less likely the financing will fall through or the buyers will change their minds and walk--hard to do when you are out of attorney review and you have $100K in escrow)

Okay, this makes sense. . .we''ve never put an offer down on a house that''s prompted bidding wars. Two of the three houses we''ve purchased have been ones where there were three or four offers w/in the first few days, most at or over asking price by up to $10K and both above-asking price offers we presented were accepted as is. . . I cannot imagine having to need $100k set aside in escrow - we didn''t set aside nearly this much. . .if my husband & I ever move to the east coast, we''ll end up living in cardboard boxes!

The east coast has plenty of places to live where housing isn''t crazy.

 

[sasa]

Date: 7/11/2005 3:14:32 PM
Author: part gypsy
Wow! I didn''t realize things were so crazy in southern California! I don''t know how anyone affords to buy a house in California! My only suggestion would be to build a time machine, go back around 40 years and buy a bunch of land....

Seriously I was also going to give the advice of finding a 0% or 5% loan as long as you could afford the monthly payments, but it sounds like you may need cash to close the sale.


I completely sympathize with you. After I graduated from college both my husband and I had no financial help from our parents, even though both of our sets of parents were not poor. For my husbands parents it is a principle with them (they are like that with all their children while going on multiple European vacations) while my father has helped out my siblings many times. There were many times I could have used some help especially in graduate school. And I would have to admit I would feel life is unfair when I would hear my siblings getting a downpayment to a house, Dad paying off the loan for a new car, etc). Maybe I have too much pride, but I would have died rather than ask my father for help. And I know my father sees me differently than the squeaky wheels of the family, and that is worth more to me than the money. Psychologically I am in much better shape because I know I can do it on my own, while my siblings haven''t learned that.

Six years ago we bought a fixer upper house for 0% down and we (or rather my husband

) put in alot of sweat equity rehabbing it. It is now a very pleasant home in an area that is desirable and going up in value. We see alot of jaws drop when they hear how much we originally bought the house for.

To put the kicker on it, when we were first considering buying this house my husband''s mother (not only were they not going to help us out financially), she tried to convince us NOT to buy the house and even called my mother to try to convince us not to buy it, because it needed too much work! That was certainly true, but we we could not afford a house in their price range! And if we listened to the naysayers, we would probably still be renting a mediocre place that costs more than our monthly mortgage payment.

So I guess I have to say, there is no one right way to get into a house. At the same time, you shouldn''t tie up your feeling of selfworth in either your net worth or ownership of a house. Both are nice, but the measure of a person is how one lives ones life. A hundred years from now, are people going to remember you saying ''she had a nice house''? They will remember you for the things you did and the lives you touched.




On second thought, my advice is to move to another part of the country.

BF''s ex sister-in-law was here over the weekend to visit (she lives in Tennessee) she said she bought a condo 2 years agao, (2 story, 2 bedroom, 2.75 bath, 1400 sq ft.) for $100,000. Now the price rise a little $130,000. BF ask me what I think about of moving to Tennessee.

 

[Mara]

North Carolina! We could have 70% down!

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 7/11/2005 4:40:25 PM
Author: Mara
North Carolina! We could have 70% down!

SSHHHHH! Hush your mouth girl.

We would like for them to stay reasonable. The thing is it''s not an area without good paying jobs either.

 

[youngster]

I''ve been enjoying this thread! You''ve gotten some good advice but I tend to agree with those who''ve said to consider moving to another part of the country (even if their advice was tongue in cheek). I was born and raised in Southern California (and so was my husband). We did love it. It''s where we grew up and we know L.A. like the back of our hand. When it came time to buy our first single family house (not a condo or townhome) we looked extensively in many neighborhoods. We sold our townhome. We had cash in hand and at the ready. However, after renting so that we could take our time looking, neither of us could bear to pay what was being asked for a junky house that needed a ton of work. We had been travelling you see, to other parts of the country. We saw what you could get for your money elsewhere and the difference was (and is) staggering.

So, about 15 years ago, we ended up relocating. For us, it was easy. Most of our family had already left Southern California in the years prior so we were almost the last members still in the state. If you have extensive family connections, it might not be viable for you. However, if not, it might be worth some consideration. Other factors that drove us from Southern California were the high crime, lousy schools, horrible traffic, poor air quality and constant threat of earthquakes. (Lived through some whoppers and don''t like ''em). When we added up the pros and cons of staying versus relocating, it was an easy choice and one we have not ever regretted.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 7/10/2005 7:59:24 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/10/2005 4:15:16 PM
Author: fire&ice

Date: 7/10/2005 4:00:43 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/10/2005 10:31:04 AM
Author: fire&ice


Is it me - or is living with your mother while being an able bodied male in your 20''s a bit embarrassing? Honestly, I''d cross anyone off my list who chooses to live with their mother as a matter of course.

Find comfort in your independence & hard work together. Most of all be patient

it''s very common for asians,even living with the in-laws after marriage.i know i can''t do it.

It''s been mentioned it was a cultural thing. The Southeast does not have a large Asian population; so, my exposure is limited. This board has been more enlightening about the Asian Culture.

O.K. I have to ask WHY is it common? I get the whole numbers & supersition thing. Most cultures have a version of sorts. But, wouldn''t parents want to push independence. What is the basis for this? Steep in culture or is there a reason?

I can not FATHOM living with my MIL

And, honestly - I''m trying to learn.

f & i
back in the old countries, or older generations, it is a norm for chinese people,the bride would move in and live with the groom''s parents. there''s no way i can live with my parents

or anybody else''s after i''am marry.i''m more americanize because,i grew up in the U.S. imagine you moving into your in-laws home, after you''re married. soon or later you''ll get into a fight with your in-laws and your hubby is stuck in the middle between his parents and YOU,his wife.

this always happens.

Let me jump in here....I think it all stems from Confucius and Filial Piety. Here''s the explaination here. Even though I''m an americanized Asian, I''m still very traditional, and would NEVER consider marrying a man that would not take his parents in and/or my parents in (if needed) till their dying day. Thankfully, I met my husband who is just as americanized in some ways, but totally traditional Asian in others.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 7/11/2005 6:31:33 PM
Author: jaysonsmom


Let me jump in here....I think it all stems from Confucius and Filial Piety. Here''s the explaination here. Even though I''m an americanized Asian, I''m still very traditional, and would NEVER consider marrying a man that would not take his parents in and/or my parents in (if needed) till their dying day. Thankfully, I met my husband who is just as americanized in some ways, but totally traditional Asian in others.

BTW....this might be helpful too: THe reason why the groom''s family pays for weddings in Chinese culture is because historically, the groom''s family would be gaining an able-bodied worker, where as the bride''s family is losing one....thus, it''s common for the groom''s side to fork out the cash

 

[caligal]

Bobo here is Zowie!

 

[caligal]

And here''s Juno