How do you tip?

[bookworm21]

A question for all of you here on the board: how do you tip when you go out and eat? Do you base it on service? Or the food? Or a combination of both?

The reason why I ask is because I had a really strange experience after dinner tonight. I went to a restaurant with several friends, and I had recommended the pizza at the restaurant, which was why we were all going there. The service was sub-standard. The waitress herself was nice, but the events happened as follows:

We sat down, she brought us water and bread, then disappeared for the next five minutes, which was fine, since we were waiting for another person to show up. When the last person showed, she took another five minutes to make her way to our table. And told us, "I''ll be right back to take your order." Huh? No asking if we would like to order any drinks or anything? But she had time to tell us, I''ll be back to take your order? This is a small, family owned restaurant, no more than 15 tables, with 3 servers working. I stopped her before she could run off again and asked if I could order a drink. Then she goes, of course! Then I ask her, politely, we''d also like to order when you get the chance. THEN she pulls out her order pad and says, of course!

We finish the bread and wait, thinking she would come by and ask us if we wanted another basket, because some of us wanted more bread. She did come by, but to remove the bread basket, and disappears again for another 5-10 minutes.

The appetizer is brought out, fried calamari, and there''s no lemon wedge served with it. Every restaurant I''ve been to included a lemon wedge when serving fried calamari. So we''re straining our necks looking for her to request that lemon wedge, but she''s nowhere in sight. We finally get a hold of her a couple of minutes and ask her for lemon. "Of course!" Brings it out.

The pizza arrives. And it''s burnt. And it''s not thin crust (which is what it''s supposed to be, I''ve been to this restaurant several times before.)

So the end: The bill, including tax came out to be $50.45. Before tax, the bill was $48.xx (I don''t remember how many cents). We gave her a total of $56.

She picked up the bill and returned to our table a minute later asking if we were unhappy with the service. I looked at her, "I take it you''re not happy with the tip?" She denies it and says she just wants to know if she did something wrong. This is making for a VERY awkward situation, as my friends and I were in the middle of an animated conversation when she interrupted. I told her yes, the service was not what I expected this time around, and I''ve been here several times. The pizza was burnt. Then she asked if she did something wrong. I reiterated that the service was not up to par.

Was I being to harsh is tipping her so little? I usually tip 15% if the service was decent, and 18-20% if the service was exceptional. I didn''t feel that the service she provided us was decent; in fact, I felt it was sub-standard. I understand that working in the restaurant industry is a tough job, I''ve waitressed before; but this experience makes me never want to return to this restaurant ever again. Thoughts?

 

[Mara]

Hmmm...I have a really hard time tipping anything less than 15% even with substandard service. It''s so expensive to live around here that I always feel kind of guilty even if the experience wasn''t what we expected. Typically we start at 15% with okay or not so great service and go up from there. 20%ish is our standard, but with places we eat at a lot, we do 25% typically. Sometimes it''s 30% or more depending on how generous Greg is feeling, hehee. What you guys left was I would estimate about 13ish% on the subtotal. So not HORRIBLE..it''s not like you left her 5% or something. But it was kind of interesting that she asked if something was wrong. hahaa.

There has been a time or two when I went to the bathroom while Greg was doing the bill stuff, and came back... and I was like WOAH what is up with this tip. He''ll be all ''what''s wrong, it''s 20%?''...and I am like NO its not, its barely 10%!! He''s horrified and I guess he was just kind of zoning out while doing the calcs, but I always crack up because we are both always fervishly working to fix it before the server comes to take the slip. I tease him about what he did before had me and if he was busy upsetting restaurants everywhere with wrong tippage!

I always like to joke around and say ''and this is what you got your MBA for?!?!''...oh he loves that. NOT.

 

[strmrdr]

bad service
bad food
rude person

3 strikes,,,
I would have been asking for the owner/manager and telling him/her off.
13% is more than id have given...

 

[Lorelei]

I don't think you were harsh at all Cinders. We tend to tip on the standard of service, if the food isn't up to much but cooked properly we feel we just made a mistake with the choice of restaurent and won't return, if a pizza is burnt or anything else is off but the waiter goes out of his way to put things right then we would tip more than we would usually if despite the food not being great he or she took good care of us with drinks, sides, not keeping us waiting unacceptably long etc. I guess for me it boils down to good service, if the waiter is rude, uncaring or careless they get nothing because we like to reward good service and vote with our wallets for good and bad so to speak. I wouldn't have given her anything in this situation, maybe I am mean but I won't condone being treated badly if we are spending our hard earned money on a rare evening out.

Case in point. We have a fabulous Italian restaurent nearby, the food is SUPERB and the cost reasonable, yet we won't go back as the service is appalling, much as I crave their tiramisu. It is nothing to be kept waiting half an hour to 40 mins between courses, they skimp on waiting staff and overbook the restaurent. Also you can feel as if you are an inconvenience which is a huge no no in my book.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We usually tip 20%-30% on the after tax total. Sometimes even higher if we like the server and it is a small bill (ex. DH will leave $10 on a $20 bill). I don''t eat Calamari but the restaurant I used to work for NEVER served it with lemon. Also we never offered more bread but of course brought it if people asked. The pizza sounds like a kitchen issue. She should have dealt with it if she knew there was a problem. Did you tell her? I had such bad service once I asked to speak to a manager (which I NEVER do). I think we still left him 15%-18% after tax though. Like Mara it is hard for me to give less since tips are the only money servers really get. Very strange she commented about the tip though. If you really like this restaurant I would chalk it up to a bad night for the server and kitchen staff and try it again.

 

[anchor31]

Wow, I think that her inquiring about the tip is really rude!

Apparently, students are not required to give tips (here anyway), but I''d feel really bad not giving anything... So usually I give 10% for sub-par service, 15% for good/great service.

I don''t tip about the quality of the food since it doesn''t have anything to do with the waiter, but I usually mention it if I''m not satisfied with the food.

 

[justjulia]

I usually tip 20% because I know that a lot of times there is a good reason the service was the way it was; usually because the restaurant was understaffed. If the service is really good, I will make a point of telling the manager on the way out how great it was. It''s an unbelieveably hard job, making so many people happy. Having said that though, I have to tell you about an experience just yesterday at a supermarket. A young woman behind the deli counter was having a conversation with another employee, she did not ask anyone waiting what they wanted and this just went on and on. Finally, she says rather sarcastically that she has to clean the equipment and then she will serve us. Then, turns around to her coworker and grins really big as if she''s won something. That just blew my mind. This is not like a waitress on her feet all night back and forth- this is someone who spuradically serves people and stands in one place and asks how thick you want it cut...maybe I''m being harsh, but I can tell you I walked away and do not intend to come back. She knew she didn''t have to do anything because there wasn''t a tip involved. How about that?

 

[sumbride]

If I had the experience you had, I would have asked to speak to the manager before I even bothered to ask for the check. Bad service AND bad food are something the manager needs to be aware of. The fact that she didn''t apologize for her service, but then asked if something was wrong based on the tip is a huge red flag for a server that needs training.

For me, I tip on service... the food is up to the chef, the service is up to the server. Obviously there are times when they are understaffed, or the kitchen is backed up, but I''ve never experienced that without some sort of pre-emptive explanation from the server. If I''m warned, I''m understanding. If I''m not, I speak to the manager.

Now that you''ve had this experience, you''re not likely to go back, right? It must have soured you on the restaurant. That''s why the manager needs to know what happened... the server and the chef messed up your meal, but they''ve also lost several potential future customers with your large party. That should concern the restaurant more than a "stingy" tip.

We almost never tip below 20% but when we do it''s after we''ve expressed our displeasure to the manager. I''m not a "complainer", but I do think undertipping is a passive-agressive move when you haven''t explained it. A good manager will make it worth your while to point out correctable problems. A bad manager will take it out on the server in front of you... I once watched our waitress get fired in the middle of serving our lunch. That was horrific!

 

[VegasAngel]

I would have given her 10% if that. Gratuity is optional not required. You tip for good service which she obviously didnt provide. I know in some cities waitresses/waiters dont make crap & really need tips, but in Vegas this isnt the case. Most casino restaurants pay AT LEAST $10 an hour and local places $8. A lot of times they expect tips just for showing up to work & I don''t play that game. You take care of me i''ll take care of you.

I wouldnt tip based on the food since she is just serving it not cooking it. I would have spoken to a manager about it.

 

[lawmax]

Usually at leat 20% unless it was clear that the service was just awful and it was clearly the fault of the server and not the kitchen, lack of staff, etc.

If the problem is a management issue, I think the right thing to do is to tip kindly and talk to the manager so the waitstaff isn''t punished for things beyond their control.

 

[Allisonfaye]

It kind of depends where we are. I usually start at 20% for a tip and back off if the service is subpar. I probably wouldn''t give less than 10% no matter how bad the service. I would have given that waitress 10%.

If the service is very good, I will give as much as 30%.

I think you handled it fine. I am surprised she asked.

 

[Eva17]

tipping usually on all of the above factors, but if i am at a lenghty lunch with some gals, i will tip 40% if we tied up her station for hours gabbing.

as a general rule usually 20/30%. dh spent some college time as a waitor, so we know what it feel like to work for tips.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I am generally a 15% person though I''ve done 20% rarely and 10% rarely.... and I remember once I got such horrible awful very bad rude service in every way that I took a napkin and wrote on it and figured the bill minus taxes then got 8% of that and 15% of that... and I left that amount... it was like 13 cents or something... and I explained my reasoning right on the napking - that I would cover what she had to pay in taxes on the amount of my bill and nothing more. When I waited tables you had to file 8% of your food SALES to the IRS of which you then paid taxes on that amount... I figured worst case scenario she shouldn''t have to PAY to serve me, but she wasn''t getting anything extra either. And I don''t feel guilty if they are in an expensive area... forget it, it''s not my fault they''re being lousy, regardless of where they live! I do pay extra if I hog the table for a long time though... IME people are usually at dinner for about 45 minutes to an hour.... if I sit there with friends and hog the table I''ll double it for say 2 hours, providing the level of serivce is maintained throughout... even if it drops off I''ll still pay a bit extra because I''m costing them another table.

As for the OP issue, I would have been more descriptive in what I didn''t like since she asked a few times and seemed to genuinely want the feedback. However I think it was kinda weird that she came up and started quizzing you based on the tip she received, it really wasn''t a HORRIBLE tip anyway! I had a family of 10 once and the bill was $100 and they loved me, praised me up and down, praised me to the mgr, asked to speak to the cook and praised him up and down.... and they left me a dollar. On the other hand I had a guy once order a $5 pork dip and give me $20 and tell me to keep the change!

 

[firebirdgold]

Wow! Most of you guys tip waaay more than we do. We''re right about at 18% for decent/standard service, 20% if the person is reasonably attentive or if the final bill is under $40, besides it''s the easiest to calculate even after a bit of wine. And sometimes up to 25% if the service is execptional. If there''s something off about the food like it''s cold or something else visibly wrong with it we''ll also deduct because it''s the servers responsiblity to check the food before serving it.

We''ve gone down to 13% - 12% if we are peeved with the service and if we''re ignored, although I often feel a bit guilty. But generally lackluster service gets 15% from us.

I have to admit that the tip precentage is also based on the size of the final bill relative to the number of people. A $60 dollar meal for two people probably will get under 20%, but a $60 dollar meal for 4 would get 20%. A more expensive meal paid in cash with a cash tip gets a bit smaller tip as well. Also we tip less if we get a bottle of wine or sake as we feel that the prices for those are over-inflated. Come on, $24 for 300ml of sake??

I did recently have a bit of a dilemma. We ate at the sushi bar which we hadn''t done before and split the tip between what we left in the folder and what we put in the sushi chef tip jar which was right in front of us. But I felt like we were jipping someone and might piss off one of our favorite restaurants by only putting less than 10% in the folder even though the total tip was over 18%.

Tipping is always the very last thing we do before leaving, and I take it poorly if a waiter takes the folder before we leave unless we''re really lingering. So I''ve never had the unhappy waiter problem before!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Yeah, I agree with tipping based on the service, not on how good the food is. If the pizza was burnt, it could have been sent back. And some places may or may not include lemon on an appetizer...that''s notnecessarily her fault either. It sounds like the time delays for taking the orders was her main problem, so that would deserve consideration for the tip, as far as I am concerned. We tip 15% when service is okay to good, and 20% when service is very good to excellent.

 

[SquareCut]

I always tip well, even if service isn''t great. When service is bad, I never ever complain to the manager. Complaining before you have your your food is foolish. Complaining after usually does nothing. It''s not my job to train the manager or his staff. A few times, friends I''ve dined with have voiced their complaints. The managers did not thank them for their feedback-people generally do not like to hear complaints. Leaving a not so great tip, sends the message.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 11/5/2006 2:10:38 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
When I waited tables you had to file 8% of your food SALES to the IRS of which you then paid taxes on that amount... I figured worst case scenario she shouldn''t have to PAY to serve me, but she wasn''t getting anything extra either.

Most servers have to tip out to the bar/bus/sometimes even the host staff so she might have very well paid for you. I am not saying she deserved a good tip. Tipping is a personal decision and I really think it has more to do with the customers than the servers. Just wanted to let you know.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 11/5/2006 4:08:26 PM
Author: SquareCut
I always tip well, even if service isn''t great. When service is bad, I never ever complain to the manager. Complaining before you have your your food is foolish. Complaining after usually does nothing. It''s not my job to train the manager or his staff. A few times, friends I''ve dined with have voiced their complaints. The managers did not thank them for their feedback-people generally do not like to hear complaints. Leaving a not so great tip, sends the message.

Wow... sounds like the restaurants you''ve been to aren''t customer-oriented at all. While I''ve occasionally seen managers ream out their wait staff, they''ve usually appreciated the comments. How are they going to improve their business if they don''t know where the problems are? While all I expect is acknowledgement of the problem, I''ve received dinner coupons, discounts, free desserts, etc... almost every time I''ve ever reported a problem, but also many times when they think things could have better. Maybe that''s what makes me do it? Businesses that don''t keep customers happy don''t exist for very long, but as I tend to patronize locally owned places, I know the managers depend on customer comments to gauge satisfaction. That''s why I also compliment when appropriate.

I once had such a bad experience at a chain, Chevy''s, where I dine often, that I wrote to the regional director who thanked me for my concerns. He sent me a coupon for dinner for four, the number that had dined originally, to make up for the bad dinner. Not only was I appreciative, that attention has kept me as a customer when there are many other chains to choose from.

 

[sumbride]

duplicate post

 

[poptart]

I always tip at LEAST 20% when I go out... but I work as a host at a restaurant currently and I know how horrible it is. The only reason I will give less than that is if they are very rude to me or something. But I am not a big stickler on service now since I understand how much there is to do when you work in a restaurant. I really don''t mind if I have to get the waiter''s attention since a lot of the time they are running around trying to get stuff to other tables. If they give me a place to sit, I''m cool, haha.

She might not have been asking about the tip either. Where I work we are required to ask how the service was, so there may just be a newly implemented policy to do this. Also, did you tell her the pizza was burnt before the end of dinner? Because if so and she didn''t rectify this then it was her fault, but if not then I wouldn''t feel right in blaming her. And you know what? At least you bothered to leave a tip because many people around here don''t -- even when the service is good.

Marisa

 

[galeteia]

Well, we already have %15 tax on everything, so it makes it painful to tip more than %15 percent. But aside from that...

I used to work as a waitress. I have a pretty good idea just from looking at the amount of the bill what would be considered a ''decent'' tip and what I would have expected for that much. It also makes me an inconsistent tipper. The food isn''t the fault of the waiter, but she should have been attentive, and when the food came out iffy she should have taken a smackdown into the kitchen and contacted the manager. Amends should have been made from the manager, and the kitchen should have replaced the food, with a priority ticket, and made certain it was extra-spiffy before it came back out.

So yes, it wasn''t her fault that it was bad in the first place, but it was her fault that she allowed it to be left with you.

And as a former waitress, I am more critical of wait staff, because I know what a good waiter can do even in a crappy workplace, because I''ve been one. I once knocked over a full glass of red wine onto a customer''s plate so it splashed all over their table (a gust of wind caught under the already precariously balanced tray, but it was so strong I swayed anyway, tray or no tray) but the service I had given them before it happened was so good they not only forgave me, but complimented my manager and left me a hefty tip. So when a waiter does a good job, not only do they get a great tip, I hunt down the manager and give them a commendation. That''s important, because complaints are so easily come by because wait staff are easy targets for nasty people.

If the service was half-a**ed, the tip reflects that.

So I don''t think you did the wrong thing. The very fact that she had to ask if something was wrong... she should have already been able to tell that you weren''t happy after the ordering incident, and then paid extra attention to make sure you were won over.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 11/5/2006 4:08:26 PM
Author: SquareCut
I always tip well, even if service isn''t great. When service is bad, I never ever complain to the manager. Complaining before you have your your food is foolish. Complaining after usually does nothing. It''s not my job to train the manager or his staff. A few times, friends I''ve dined with have voiced their complaints. The managers did not thank them for their feedback-people generally do not like to hear complaints. Leaving a not so great tip, sends the message.

complaining after CAN do something - in fact during my tenure I became quite aware that one could pretty much eat free wherever they went just from complaining. We comped things every day and it had nothing to do with who was disappointed but in who complained the most forcefully while remaining polite. Not all mgrs "take care" of disappointed customers, but many do. That said, I''ve NEVER attempted to get free food and have only had it offered upfront a couple times. The people who politely said, "this was sub-par and I really don''t feel I should have to pay for this" often got it taken off.

One of my favorite stories regarding this was a woman who came in EVERY sunday afternoon for lunch and ordered a crab sandwich. EVERY sunday after she ate it she took the bill to the mgr and said, "I only ordered a HALF crab sandwich" and every time he reduced the price despite the fact that she ate the ENTIRE thing. Well okay this happened 3 times... the fourth time I took her order for a "crab sandwich" and I punched it in as a half crab sandwich. I took her a half crab sandwich. She looked at her plate and said, "oh I ordered the full crab sandwich" and I smiled and apologized and got her another half crab sandwich, charged her for the full sandwhich, and she never came in again.

BTW the crab sandwich is really good - fresh crab with a little garlic powder and white pepper and mayo spread on sourdough with a little jack cheese then grilled... omg soooo yummy!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 11/5/2006 4:08:26 PM
Author: SquareCut
Leaving a not so great tip, sends the message.

not really - there are some stingy people out there who leave only a dollar no matter how good the food/service was... there are people who don''t BELIEVE in tipping at all... there are people who tip 10% no matter what... what you consider a message-sending not-so-great tip might not even register more than the waitperson thinking there''s something wrong with YOU.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 11/5/2006 4:32:19 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 11/5/2006 2:10:38 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
When I waited tables you had to file 8% of your food SALES to the IRS of which you then paid taxes on that amount... I figured worst case scenario she shouldn''t have to PAY to serve me, but she wasn''t getting anything extra either.

Most servers have to tip out to the bar/bus/sometimes even the host staff so she might have very well paid for you. I am not saying she deserved a good tip. Tipping is a personal decision and I really think it has more to do with the customers than the servers. Just wanted to let you know.

we tipped our cooks and busboys as well... looking back I shoulda tipped the dishwasher, he had the nastiest job there LOL Even still - it was more about the symbolism than the small change difference.... I''ve never not left a tip nor one under 10% except for that one time and I told the girl why we did it, though for the life of me I cannot remember her or what she did now... this was at least 10 years ago, but I remember it was OVER THE TOP awful horrible bad.

 

[Julian]

Wow, that was really confrontational of the waitress to demand an explanation for your tip! Maybe she was overworked and frustrated.

I almost always tip 20% regardless of service. I go up from there if the service was exceptional. Waitresses often have no control over how fast the food comes out...ditto on food being burned or undercooked. So I try to remember that when I tip. They also split their tips with the busboys, so it's not like they are getting rich. Many of them have no health insurance and are single moms.

Often when waitresses are late or too harried, it isn't their fault. It is the restaurant manager's fault for not staffing properly. A waitress cannot handle too many tables, but she is often called upon the task if someone calls in sick or if the restaurant is trying to cut corners. (Bad management!) She is penalized for that in tips and she also breaks her back trying to serve so many people at a time. My family owned several restaurants so I grew up sympathizing with how hard waitressing really is from observation.

And they are wonderful people, but they are just trying to make a living doing a very physically and mentally draining job. That can make them stressed out if they aren't good at coping.

Hope that gives some perspective!

But I have to say, that waitress was totally out of line for confronting a customer. She should be dismissed. I am sure that ruined your meal.

 

[KimberlyH]

I tip based on service and typically leave 18-20% (I live in CA and just double the tax, 8.something% depending on the county,and throw in an extra few dollars). If the service is exceptional I leave more. I''ve never not tipped.

Kinda off topic but, I have a girlfriend who carries a tip card guide in her wallet and always leaves precisely 15%, sometimes less but never more. I always have to find excuses to return to the table and leave extra money. Very strange and awkward.

It sounds like this waitress really wanted to know what she should be doing better, I would have told her as uncomfortable as it may have been as she asked. She doesn''t sound like she''s an intentionally "bad" waitress but it does sound like she just doesn''t quite get her job. I don''t think it''s unusual that she didn''t automatically bring more bread, a lot of restaurants, both fine dining and not, don''t unless asked. It''s sort of like getting water served now, you have to ask.

 

[ephemery1]

I almost always tip around 20% for standard service... my fiance worked in a restaurant and understands that a lot of what happens behind the scenes that might constitute "bad" service is beyond the server's control. If we have a server who is very obviously not doing their job, we might leave slightly less... but I can't remember ever leaving less than 15%. And if somebody is particularly good, we might leave 25-30%.

Maybe some of this depends on where you live though? We are on the East Coast, primarily Philly-area.... and nearly everyone I know here (friends and family) uses an 18-20% standard for restaurant tipping, and just adds to that for exceptionally good service.

 

[Rachie]

Date: 11/5/2006 2:10:38 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I had a family of 10 once and the bill was $100 and they loved me, praised me up and down, praised me to the mgr, asked to speak to the cook and praised him up and down.... and they left me a dollar.

That''s what us servers call "verbal tippers." It is people like that that I want to ask if they are able to pay their bills by telling the phone company or the credit card company that they are doing a great job and so they let them not pay their bill for the month. I am a server at the present time and I get paid $2.65 an hour. Shockingly enough, that doesn''t pay the bills, my tips do. Sometimes, especially if I am having a rough day, I deserve only 15% but I consider myself at least a 20% server and so I do get irritated when people tip less. There have been many a time when I would have liked to question someone as to why they tipped me so poorly, but #1-I would get fired, #2-I don''t have the balls, and #3-it is not really appropriate. It does sound like Cinderella had an awful server and honestly, a good server wouldn''t have questioned a tip b/c they would know that it is inappropriate and they would have known that they did a crappy job. I definitely over tip when I go out but that is b/c I will hopefully be compensating for any cheap people that the server has had to wait on and also b/c they do have to tip out bussers, food runners, bartenders, etc.

 

[reader]

We tip dead on service. If the service is bad, no tip, and an explanation why. If the service is good, 15%. If we actually needed something and had to ask them to go find it, 20-25%.
We also tip delivery drivers 20-30 because they have to make an effort to climb our driveway, and they get a higher tip if they drive a VW.

 

[phoenixgirl]

We almost always tip 20%. If the service was iffy, I'll round down, maybe leave 18%. I don't usually leave much above 20%, but if the service was really good I'll round up a bit. I left 11% for the worst service I ever received.