I have to tell someone before I start crying...

[Italiahaircolor]

You know, she''s not so much on my s%$^ list...I''m just done...

The very first time I met my MIL, I went into it excited. I have a fantastic mother (biologically) so I never felt the need to "replace" my own mother or have a "mother/daughter" relationship with my husbands mother...but I thought if my MIL knew I loved her boy, and I treated her with respect, that she and I could be friends. But it was never friendly, even from the start. It began as backhanded comments, and snide remarks and grew to flat out insults and hurtful actions.

I took the first dozen or so comments on the chin. I knew that I wasn''t the type of woman she was used to...and that there was going to be an adjustment period for us...that the friendship I had envisioned for us just never showed up. And the more I "took" it, the more and more and more often I had to "take" it, and the more hurtful the comments became. It started out as judgments made on my clothing or purses or whatever, and now they are directed at who I am and where I come from...and they aren''t just from my MIL anymore, they from my FIL too.

I''m exhusted. And as much as I love my husband, I will always love myself more, and that love I have for me wont allow this to go on any longer than it has. I don''t deserve to be put down or insulted...I never did anything to her or him to warrant that, and if I had done something at some point, it was long enough ago that everyone should have moved past it by now.

 

[elrohwen]

Wow, I don''t know what to say. These people are absolutely terrible and I don''t think anything you could have hypothetically done to them would warrant this treatment, and since you didn''t do anything it''s 1000x more unwarranted.

I want to offer my sympathy for having to deal with such horrible people. I''m glad you husband sees them for what they are and is on your side, even if he doesn''t stand up to them as much as he should. That must be a small comfort.

{{hugs}}

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 1/7/2009 12:43:51 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
You know, she''s not so much on my s%$^ list...I''m just done...


The very first time I met my MIL, I went into it excited. I have a fantastic mother (biologically) so I never felt the need to ''replace'' my own mother or have a ''mother/daughter'' relationship with my husbands mother...but I thought if my MIL knew I loved her boy, and I treated her with respect, that she and I could be friends. But it was never friendly, even from the start. It began as backhanded comments, and snide remarks and grew to flat out insults and hurtful actions.


I took the first dozen or so comments on the chin. I knew that I wasn''t the type of woman she was used to...and that there was going to be an adjustment period for us...that the friendship I had envisioned for us just never showed up. And the more I ''took'' it, the more and more and more often I had to ''take'' it, and the more hurtful the comments became. It started out as judgments made on my clothing or purses or whatever, and now they are directed at who I am and where I come from...and they aren''t just from my MIL anymore, they from my FIL too.


I''m exhusted. And as much as I love my husband, I will always love myself more, and that love I have for me wont allow this to go on any longer than it has. I don''t deserve to be put down or insulted...I never did anything to her or him to warrant that, and if I had done something at some point, it was long enough ago that everyone should have moved past it by now.

Italia - it sounds like you are in the best place you could possibly be with this, given the difficult circumstances. Good for you for getting there.