I Just Found the LIW Forum: Time to Introduce Myself

[madelise]

Hi Madelise,

Oh no, I do not know the answer to any of these questions and he is out right now. I am going there around 8:30PM and I will try it again. Thannks ladies!!!

No worries. I've been having snafus with uploading ALL day and I have horrible anxiety with it! LOL! Its so silly, but it is true. I still am having problems uploading my video =(

 

[atp223]

Hello Ladies!
I will be sure to post once I get engaged...whenever that is. Sigh.

How do you ladies deal with the anticipation? Do you ever get angry or resentful? I know this sounds awful but its almost like the waiting is going to take away from the experiecne once I finally get engaged. I know that he is ready to get engaged but is just waiting for the right time--which really annoys me because I told him that I do not need anything special and that he can do it when we are at home sitting in our sweats. Knowing that it means so much to me to get engaged asap I just do not understand why he has not done it already. I wouldn't push him if he wasn't ready but I know he is. He has had the ring for months and I am forced to look at it everyday because it is just sitting on his desk (mocking me).

I do realize that I am in a good position because, unlike many other people, I actually know who I am going to marry so I apologize if I sound bratty but I knew you ladies would understand.

Thanks!

Hi Trublue! Your story (and star sparkle's) sounded pretty similar to mine, so I thought I would share. I totally understand the angst/anxiety associated with waiting, once the ring is finished, and not caring if it is a surprise etc...but ultimately, despite all of my engagement-related tantrums, I loved the surprise and it hasn't at all tainted or lessened the awesomeness of the engagement.

We started looking last May, moved in together in June, finalized the diamond/design in late july/august, received the ring in Sept...and then got engaged at the end of January. It doesn't sound that long now that I am typing it out, but that period from June to Jan was so...annoying and anxiety-filled. It seems silly in retrospect, but when you are going through it, it is so stressful! I had really wanted to be engaged by Christmas, and figured that was a reasonable time frame...but finally my now-fiance sat me down (last december) and was like, it's not happening before Christmas. And then we went on vacation to Costa Rica, and it didn't happen there either...*I* and pretty much all my friends thought it would happen there, so it definitely put a damper on the trip. Out of frustration he actually offered to give me the ring right when we got back so that we could be engaged. But the hold up was that he wanted me to be truly surprised, so he was waiting for his opportunity. We had quite a few fights over the whole "when are we getting engaged" thing, and things got really stressful in December and January...but it was still SO exciting when he finally proposed - he did manage to completely surprise me, like he wanted. It involved him traveling a few hundred miles to a place he wasn't supposed to be, but he pulled it off. And afterwards, I was so happy that I had a fun and exciting (albeit very public) story to share when people asked how it happened.

And even though I thought all of the angst we went through during the June-early January period would sort of "ruin" the engagement, it surprisingly didn't, at all. And I barely remember, and never dwell on, how upset/stressed I was about it that whole time. It's kind of crazy how quickly you can go from crazy and anxious LIW to happy and super organized bride-to-be.

So, I just wanted to say, with respect to your bolded comments above - I seriously felt 100% totally and completely the exact same way - and I also didn't understand why he was bothering with something "surprising" when all I wanted was to be engaged before Christmas or in Costa Rica. But those feelings are long-forgotten, and have not taken away from my excitement one bit!

The time will drag by so slowly till he proposes...but then he will and it will be amazing...and then you will have to start planning, which is quite the work productivity-drain, but very fun! I think a lot of girls on here know exactly how you feel, so you're not alone!

 

[atp223]

Hi Madelise,

Oh no, I do not know the answer to any of these questions and he is out right now. I am going there around 8:30PM and I will try it again. Thannks ladies!!!

No worries. I've been having snafus with uploading ALL day and I have horrible anxiety with it! LOL! Its so silly, but it is true. I still am having problems uploading my video =(

Madelise - I saw your OEC post this morning - did you decide on a stone??

 

[maebelle]

Hello,

I went to add my name and you were right, it was already there! So YT is blocked from work so I sent the video to my boyfriend and he is going to upload it now for me so I should have the link soon!

Thanks again!

I try

If my SO has my ring more than a week I'll FREAK (internally at least). I don't know how you guys do it!

 

[madelise]

Hi Madelise,

Oh no, I do not know the answer to any of these questions and he is out right now. I am going there around 8:30PM and I will try it again. Thannks ladies!!!

No worries. I've been having snafus with uploading ALL day and I have horrible anxiety with it! LOL! Its so silly, but it is true. I still am having problems uploading my video =(

Madelise - I saw your OEC post this morning - did you decide on a stone??

thanks for sharing your story, ATP. OP, I promise you, I will be right there with you with all the anxiety and anger and whatever the heck other sh!tstorm emotions there are because I know it'll be a long while until the actual proposal. SO is in no rush at all, and seems to think it's fair to propose 1 month before a wedding! I asked for a minimum of 6 months, and I'm hoping he'll abide by that.. but with the aimed wedding time, that still gives me about 8 months from today! We can whine and wine together

(ATP, no I haven't yet, I still have to meet with JbEG this Friday, you can continue to follow my story in the other thread or at "Calling Madelise" that audball posted It's only been about a week since I started my official active searching, though I've been stalking already-posted listings for about 2 years, when we initially thought we'd get engaged. So it's been a bit of a whirlwind few days!)

 

[trueblue101]

Here ladies, try this link.

http://youtu.be/jO4xmpnBvuk

 

[mary poppins]

Here ladies, try this link.

http://youtu.be/jO4xmpnBvuk

Wowza - pretty, pretty! Looking forward to seeing close-ups after it's official!

 

[Mico]

Here ladies, try this link.

http://youtu.be/jO4xmpnBvuk

 

[trueblue101]

Here ladies, try this link.

http://youtu.be/jO4xmpnBvuk

Wowza - pretty, pretty! Looking forward to seeing close-ups after it's official!

Hi Mary Poppins,

I am excited for close ups but I honestly do not know how to take good photos of my ring. They all come out looking nothing like what the ring actually looks like (but I am sure that will not stop me from taking 1000 photos!!!).

 

[mary poppins]

Here's a thread (stickied at the top of the SMTB section) that contains tips on taking pictures of diamonds.

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-to-take-good-photos-of-your-diamonds.102989/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-to-take-good-photos-of-your-diamonds.102989/[/URL]

 

[audball]

I am excited for close ups but I honestly do not know how to take good photos of my ring. They all come out looking nothing like what the ring actually looks like (but I am sure that will not stop me from taking 1000 photos!!!).

Very nice!! The key to good photos is lighting and a camera turned on macro mode. My camera has a few different macro settings and the best on mine is "super macro". Macro is usually indicated by a button or menu item somewhere on your camera that is denoted by a flower looking symbol. It allows you to take pictures that are SUPER zoomed in without them going blurry. Try having it set on things first and not on your hand until you get better. It's MUCH harder to do it with one hand while photographing with the other. Use color in your backdrops/props to bring out the facet pattern. And have fun! Remember, most PSers who post 20 good photos took 100+ to get those shots.

And yay! I knew there was a thread with instructions, had NO clue where it was stickied, though! Thanks mary poppins!

 

[trueblue101]

Hi Atp223,

You honestly just articulated my feelings alot better than I ever could have. Everything you went through is what I am going through now and it is comforting (in a weird way) that I am not the only one who has these engagement related tantrums. I am so glad that you confirmed the all of these anxious/resentful feelings will not ruin the actual engagement.

Ugh, I still do not get it. Why would he wait to surprise me when I told him that I do not care about the proposal being fancy or a surprise (I just want to be engaged)? I understand that it is his proposal also but I do not think that his desire to surprise me is anywhere near as strong as my desire to get engaged now (I know that one should not be more important than the other but I feel VERY strongly about this).

Atp223, my heart went out to you when I was reading your post, I am sorry that you had to go through all of that. I do have to say that your surprise proposal did sound wonderful though and I am happy that he got to do it his way also.

I have to keep in mind that this is his proposal also but I am just so sick of everyone asking me why we are not engaged yet and I feel like this delay is putting an unnecessary burden on my old/sick parents and it is making me resent him a little to be honest. Again, it is one thing if he was not ready or unsure but that is not the case here.

Any hoot, thanks so much for sharing your story and I am so glad that you are now engaged. Please post photos of your ring!

 

[trueblue101]

Hello,

I went to add my name and you were right, it was already there! So YT is blocked from work so I sent the video to my boyfriend and he is going to upload it now for me so I should have the link soon!

Thanks again!

I try

If my SO has my ring more than a week I'll FREAK (internally at least). I don't know how you guys do it!

It is not easy but we have no choice but to deal!!!!

 

[maebelle]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything bad. I think you guys are pretty strong, and I do completely understand the feeling of worrying and anticipation. My SO and I have been dating 5 years, so I feel like I've waited enough.

 

[trueblue101]

[
quote="madelise|1337818780|3202143"]

Hi Madelise,

Oh no, I do not know the answer to any of these questions and he is out right now. I am going there around 8:30PM and I will try it again. Thannks ladies!!!

No worries. I've been having snafus with uploading ALL day and I have horrible anxiety with it! LOL! Its so silly, but it is true. I still am having problems uploading my video =(

Madelise - I saw your OEC post this morning - did you decide on a stone??

thanks for sharing your story, ATP. OP, I promise you, I will be right there with you with all the anxiety and anger and whatever the heck other sh!tstorm emotions there are because I know it'll be a long while until the actual proposal. SO is in no rush at all, and seems to think it's fair to propose 1 month before a wedding! I asked for a minimum of 6 months, and I'm hoping he'll abide by that.. but with the aimed wedding time, that still gives me about 8 months from today! We can whine and wine together

(ATP, no I haven't yet, I still have to meet with JbEG this Friday, you can continue to follow my story in the other thread or at "Calling Madelise" that audball posted It's only been about a week since I started my official active searching, though I've been stalking already-posted listings for about 2 years, when we initially thought we'd get engaged. So it's been a bit of a whirlwind few days!)[/quote]

Hello and welcome to this craziness! Wow, your boyfriend thinks it is okay to propose one month before you get married???? I am having trouble even wrapping my brain around that. I do not even want a wedding and I think one month prior is not enough time! I hope that he listens to you and you get a reasonable amount of notice. I am guessing that you will be having a smaller wedding?

I am so excited that you have officially started your search. I love, love, love, the stuff that JBEG have and I will be sure to follow your thread. Good luck and let me know if you need to vent....because I totally get it!!!

 

[trueblue101]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything bad. I think you guys are pretty strong, and I do completely understand the feeling of worrying and anticipation. My SO and I have been dating 5 years, so I feel like I've waited enough.

Oh no sweetie, I did not mean to imply that you were implying something . It is all good. I do not feel strong at all, I feel like I am a nag and annoying. Sigh.

Wow, you have been with your bf for 5 years? I know that there is no magic number, but I do think 5 years is enough.
I have been with mine for two years but we are a a bit older so I think that it has been long enough....

How are you handling everything?

 

[maebelle]

I was a little annoyed until January, because we had talked and I had given him links to colored stone vendors, etc but there didn't seem to be any movement. In January we finally talked (after an unrelated fight ) and he gave me a budget and the go ahead to get exactly what I wanted, so I did! It took 3 months to get a sapphire and about 2 months to get it set. It'll be back in our posession next week. Now that my control has faded again I'm getting anxious again, but neither of us is very good at keeping gifts under wraps (we tend to give christmas presents about a week after buying them, even if it's 2 weeks before chirstmas, birthdays are the same) so I don't THINK he'll make me wait long.

I don't need a big fancy story, but I do want a better story than "We were having a tiff about when I'd move and have to find a new job if his residency was far away (I said I wouldn't move til I found one, or November, whichever came first) and he just dropped into the conversation that I wouldn't need to find a job right away because residents spouses got free tuition at the school-that-was-far-away to which I replied "well that sounds lovely""

Not very romantic huh?

 

[audball]

I don't need a big fancy story, but I do want a better story than "We were having a tiff about when I'd move and have to find a new job if his residency was far away (I said I wouldn't move til I found one, or November, whichever came first) and he just dropped into the conversation that I wouldn't need to find a job right away because residents spouses got free tuition at the school-that-was-far-away to which I replied "well that sounds lovely""

Not very romantic huh?

Haha, definitely not. I've had this conversation with Andrew as well. I don't need something out of a fairy tale book, but I do want there to be thought, sentiment, and some planning behind it. I feel like (even though it was my wish to be involved) that since I helped (or picked entirely, lol) the ring, that his part of the traditional proposal in order to "prove his love" is to plan something that he knows I will love and appreciate by doing something that HE knows is ME. If that makes sense.

 

[Mico]

I don't need a big fancy story, but I do want a better story than "We were having a tiff about when I'd move and have to find a new job if his residency was far away (I said I wouldn't move til I found one, or November, whichever came first) and he just dropped into the conversation that I wouldn't need to find a job right away because residents spouses got free tuition at the school-that-was-far-away to which I replied "well that sounds lovely""

Not very romantic huh?

Haha, definitely not. I've had this conversation with Andrew as well. I don't need something out of a fairy tale book, but I do want there to be thought, sentiment, and some planning behind it. I feel like (even though it was my wish to be involved) that since I helped (or picked entirely, lol) the ring, that his part of the traditional proposal in order to "prove his love" is to plan something that he knows I will love and appreciate by doing something that HE knows is ME. If that makes sense.

*sigh* i agree. I already feel engaged because i've had so much to do with the planning. I even know when it's NO going to be by (august). I kinda don't like that and wish this was out of the blue

 

[audball]

*sigh* i agree. I already feel engaged because i've had so much to do with the planning. I even know when it's NO going to be by (august). I kinda don't like that and wish this was out of the blue

I feel this way a little too. But Andrew reminds me that this way I got exactly what I wanted. It'll all work out and this time in our lives will be a blip on the radar in a few years. Chin up.

 

[trueblue101]

I was a little annoyed until January, because we had talked and I had given him links to colored stone vendors, etc but there didn't seem to be any movement. In January we finally talked (after an unrelated fight ) and he gave me a budget and the go ahead to get exactly what I wanted, so I did! It took 3 months to get a sapphire and about 2 months to get it set. It'll be back in our posession next week. Now that my control has faded again I'm getting anxious again, but neither of us is very good at keeping gifts under wraps (we tend to give christmas presents about a week after buying them, even if it's 2 weeks before chirstmas, birthdays are the same) so I don't THINK he'll make me wait long.

I don't need a big fancy story, but I do want a better story than "We were having a tiff about when I'd move and have to find a new job if his residency was far away (I said I wouldn't move til I found one, or November, whichever came first) and he just dropped into the conversation that I wouldn't need to find a job right away because residents spouses got free tuition at the school-that-was-far-away to which I replied "well that sounds lovely""

Not very romantic huh?

Haha, I guess that is more practical than romantic but there nothing wrong with that either . Different strokes for different folks! And how awesome that you will be getting free tuition!!!!!

I am glad that you had input in your ring also. I cannot wait to see it! Given that you guys give gifts right away, it very well may be the case that you get engaged sooner than expected!

 

[trueblue101]

Here's a thread (stickied at the top of the SMTB section) that contains tips on taking pictures of diamonds.

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-to-take-good-photos-of-your-diamonds.102989/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-to-take-good-photos-of-your-diamonds.102989/[/URL]

Thanks so much Mary Poppins! I will check it out!

 

[trueblue101]

I am excited for close ups but I honestly do not know how to take good photos of my ring. They all come out looking nothing like what the ring actually looks like (but I am sure that will not stop me from taking 1000 photos!!!).

Very nice!! The key to good photos is lighting and a camera turned on macro mode. My camera has a few different macro settings and the best on mine is "super macro". Macro is usually indicated by a button or menu item somewhere on your camera that is denoted by a flower looking symbol. It allows you to take pictures that are SUPER zoomed in without them going blurry. Try having it set on things first and not on your hand until you get better. It's MUCH harder to do it with one hand while photographing with the other. Use color in your backdrops/props to bring out the facet pattern. And have fun! Remember, most PSers who post 20 good photos took 100+ to get those shots.

And yay! I knew there was a thread with instructions, had NO clue where it was stickied, though! Thanks mary poppins!

Hi Audball! Wow, you sound like a pro at taking photos, thanks for the advice! I hope I do not let you down when it is time to take photos.

 

[audball]

Hi Audball! Wow, you sound like a pro at taking photos, thanks for the advice! I hope I do not let you down when it is time to take photos.

Haha, thank you, but not even close! I just got my sparkler a few weeks ago and I've been taking a ton! You usually take 10x as many as you get that are good. Just keep practicing and have patience. You will get a better!

 

[trueblue101]

I don't need a big fancy story, but I do want a better story than "We were having a tiff about when I'd move and have to find a new job if his residency was far away (I said I wouldn't move til I found one, or November, whichever came first) and he just dropped into the conversation that I wouldn't need to find a job right away because residents spouses got free tuition at the school-that-was-far-away to which I replied "well that sounds lovely""

Not very romantic huh?

Haha, definitely not. I've had this conversation with Andrew as well. I don't need something out of a fairy tale book, but I do want there to be thought, sentiment, and some planning behind it. I feel like (even though it was my wish to be involved) that since I helped (or picked entirely, lol) the ring, that his part of the traditional proposal in order to "prove his love" is to plan something that he knows I will love and appreciate by doing something that HE knows is ME. If that makes sense.

Hi Audball, that maked total sense and I am sure that he will mark the occassion in way that is specific to you.

Also, it is comforting to hear that you, as did I, had basically total control in picking out your ring. You would not believe how much crap people gave me for that, which I guess I get but we tried to look at it from a practical standpoint. What is the point of him spending money on something (that is hopefully going to be on your hand forever) that you may not like? KWIM?

 

[audball]

Hi Audball, that makes total sense and I am sure that he will mark the occassion in way that is specific to you.

Also, it is comforting to hear that you, as did I, had basically total control in picking out your ring. You would not believe how much crap people gave me for that, which I guess I get but we tried to look at it from a practical standpoint. What is the point of him spending money on something (that is hopefully going to be on your hand forever) that you may not like? KWIM?

I agree. And even money aside (because this isn't our forever ring, we didn't spend a ton by any means!), it's something I'll be wearing DAILY for who knows how long. I want to love something that is a regular piece of my attire. I didn't tell many people (a HANDFUL that I'm really close to is all) and I actually don't plan to tell anyone else that I helped. I'll be totally convincing telling people "Mmhm!" when they tell me what an awesome job he did. My lips are sealed.

 

[trueblue101]

Hi Audball, that makes total sense and I am sure that he will mark the occassion in way that is specific to you.

Also, it is comforting to hear that you, as did I, had basically total control in picking out your ring. You would not believe how much crap people gave me for that, which I guess I get but we tried to look at it from a practical standpoint. What is the point of him spending money on something (that is hopefully going to be on your hand forever) that you may not like? KWIM?

I agree. And even money aside (because this isn't our forever ring, we didn't spend a ton by any means!), it's something I'll be wearing DAILY for who knows how long. I want to love something that is a regular piece of my attire. I didn't tell many people (a HANDFUL that I'm really close to is all) and I actually don't plan to tell anyone else that I helped. I'll be totally convincing telling people "Mmhm!" when they tell me what an awesome job he did. My lips are sealed.

I think that you are smart by keeping quiet about that. In retrospect, I wish I had not told anyone! And yes, since you will be wearing this ring for a ling time, you have the right to love your engagement ring!

 

[madelise]

You would not believe how much crap people gave me for that, which I guess I get but we tried to look at it from a practical standpoint. What is the point of him spending money on something (that is hopefully going to be on your hand forever) that you may not like? KWIM?

OH I am behind on that thought 100%!!! I think that's half the reason so many PS-ers upgrade! Their hubbies chose the first one! LOL.

You told people about you choosing out the ring? I'm leaving out ALL that educational research stuff. No one needs to know how neurotic, near psychotic I am

 

[audball]

You would not believe how much crap people gave me for that, which I guess I get but we tried to look at it from a practical standpoint. What is the point of him spending money on something (that is hopefully going to be on your hand forever) that you may not like? KWIM?

OH I am behind on that thought 100%!!! I think that's half the reason so many PS-ers upgrade! Their hubbies chose the first one! LOL.

You told people about you choosing out the ring? I'm leaving out ALL that educational research stuff. No one needs to know how neurotic, near psychotic I am

Maybe we're on to something....

 

[madelise]

You would not believe how much crap people gave me for that, which I guess I get but we tried to look at it from a practical standpoint. What is the point of him spending money on something (that is hopefully going to be on your hand forever) that you may not like? KWIM?

OH I am behind on that thought 100%!!! I think that's half the reason so many PS-ers upgrade! Their hubbies chose the first one! LOL.

You told people about you choosing out the ring? I'm leaving out ALL that educational research stuff. No one needs to know how neurotic, near psychotic I am

Maybe we're on to something....

That I (and a lot of other PS-ers) need a diagnosis from the DSM 5?