I Love Boobies - The controversy

[Imdanny]

Kenny, I don't think that was the right thing to say to Deb. There are more subtle ways to approach situations like these than jumping to conclusions. Now I do hope that the two of you will make up and that we will all be friends again!

 

[monarch64]

I MIGHT go back and read this thread....I MIGHT not.

Meanwhile.

I participated in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Chicago in 2006 and raised $1800 by myself (requirement to walk). That same year, I participated in the Relay for Life right across the street from my home in Chicago and raised $300 by myself plus had 3 friends join my team and raise and additional $900 for the cause.

I have been volunteering and raising money on my own and with teams since I was 11 years old.

I'm not sure why there is controversy on this thread but it seems that there is, and I refuse to participate in THAT.

It's better for me, not even having had cancer but knowing what I know about family and friends' cancers, that I don't get involved. I would just rather raise money, and know that at least I am doing my part to make a difference. I guess you could say I prefer to be OBLIVIOUS.

Many people write checks every day to give to these causes.

Many people participate in walks or telethons, etc. to give to these causes.

As long as the money raised goes to the place it is supposed to go, I have no problem with any of it.

It's unfair and unfortunate that there has to be this kind of argument over any of it.

 

[rockzilla]

As someone going into marketing, I have to say that "awareness" is not the end all be all. Anyone remember pets.com? They had a ton of TV, print, etc ads all over the place. Everyone knew what pets.com was -- they were aware. Unfortunately, awareness didn't translate into purchases, and pets.com was one of the major implosions of the dot-com era.

So, 1) I don't buy the awareness argument. I think there's plenty of other ways to raise awareness, that don't trivialize the very serious subject. You don't just want any awareness, you want people to understand the core messages of your "brand," or your cause in this case. 2) I'd like to know exactly how much money was actually raised (net of costs) -- my guess is it wasn't significantly more than an alternate method would be.

My mother had breast cancer. My husband's mother died of it. We both did the Avon Walk a few years back and raised $3k+.

When someone has breast cancer, often it is possible to remove the tumor(s) while saving the breast. Many times, it is not, and other times the woman opts for surgery to remove the breast and the possibility of recurrence. While saving the breast(s) of a woman is a valuable goal, ultimately I think the message should be about saving the lives of the WOMEN*, not just saving their breasts.

As a marketer, I believe the message matters.

*I use women here generally, though a small percentage of breast cancer patients are male.

 

[risingsun]

no not picking on Kenny...

No problem.
Gosh, I have no problem with anyone's opinions.
They all just coexist regardless of how passionately or how well they are presented or supported.

Oh really. You certainly seemed to have a problem with my opinion. Your response made light of my opinion and expressed inaccuracies about the content. It was very hurtful to me. Did you even bother to read about my history and my family history with breast cancer, before you took aim and fired. Your signature states how you feel about intolerance. You did not show me any tolerance. Was that response the best you could make? If so, we have nothing else to say to each other.

 

[sillyberry]

no not picking on Kenny...

No problem.
Gosh, I have no problem with anyone's opinions.
They all just coexist regardless of how passionately or how well they are presented or supported.

Oh really. You certainly seemed to have a problem with my opinion. Your response made light of my opinion and expressed inaccuracies about the content. It was very hurtful to me. Did you even bother to read about my history and my family history before you took aim and fired. Your signature states that how you feel about intolerance. You did not show me any tolerance.

risingsun, I'm sorry you've been suffering - my mom has had cervical cancer, she has fibro, and she found a lump in her breast about 12 years ago that (fortunately) ended up being nothing, so I've witnessed what you're going through. At the same, I just reread what kenny posted that hurt your feelings, and I don't think he made light of anything you said. You feel how you feel, but as an outside observer, I didn't think he said anything disrespectful.

 

[risingsun]

I reread the post, too, sillyberry. To me, it was dripping the sarcasm. Although all opinions were supposed to be welcome, some opinions were more welcome than others , despite what the OP said. Most posters were respectful, some were not. I can only think of one who was not or, at least, one who pushed my buttons. As George Orwell said in Animal House,"All animals are equal and some are more equal than others." This describes my experience with the OP. Fortunately, there were many posters who used their critical thinking skills and made this a viable discussion.

 

[loriken214]

I reread the post, too, sillyberry. To me, it was dripping the sarcasm. Although all opinions were supposed to be welcome, some opinions were more welcome than others , despite what the OP said. Most posters were respectful, some were not. I can only think of one who was not or, at least, one who pushed my buttons. As George Orwell said in Animal House,"All animals are equal and some are more equal than others." This describes my experience with the OP. Fortunately, there were many posters who used their critical thinking skills and made this a viable discussion.

Marian, I'm sending you a HUGE HUG....I'm developing a thick skin these days.

Lori

 

[ksinger]

First, kudos to Monarch for her tireless DOING. That trumps any "item" purchase in my book. I personally don't like purchasing items for a cause simply because 1) I rarely need the item, and 2) the cost to produce that item likely decreases the value of my contribution. I like to just give money. If we told the kids they could have a bracelet and their net donation would be 75 cents, or they could just donate 1 dollar and have it ALL go to research, how many of them would just give the money, I wonder.

As I see it this is less a discussion of sexual mores than what exactly constitutes civil society. I'm sorry, but the world has become increasingly coarse. (And yes, there IS a value judgement in there, so sue me) And I won't even necessarily exclude myself from that. I casually accept things being said, and sometimes say them myself, that would have never flown when I was younger, that I never would have DREAMED I'd hear in public. So with the frankness that we all seem to think is better - the ability to discuss once taboo subjects, have come a few things that we moan about in equal measure, like a perceived lack of civility or MANNERS.

I'm not trying to set back the clock which is clearly pointless - and those of us who are older know that better than anyone, but let's not kid ourselves and say that what we see today in our Beavis & Butthead world, is unalloyed progress or unequivocally better. It is not, and we have lost something precious IMO.

I haven't held forth on the real issue here which is breast cancer, but since my husband's mother died from cancer (lymphoma) I will say that I see the issue less about losing a breast than losing a LIFE. I loved the woman, not her chest, and I'd happily have given both of my own if it would bring her back.

 

[risingsun]

Marian, I'm sending you a HUGE HUG....I'm developing a thick skin these days.

Lori

Thank you, Lori. I'm sending one back to you. I have learned a lot from this thread. Respect for each other is a core value for me. It speaks both to the topic, as well as the interactions while discussing it.

 

[loriken214]

My MIL had Lupus. She developed Leukemia, from taking steroids for many years, and it took her life on June 22, 2006. I have SLE Lupus and take steroids, too. There is a high risk that I may develop Lymphoma/Leukemia because of the medicines I have to take to be able to function with SLE.

A dear friend of mine is fighting Lupus AND she is a Lymphoma survivor. She is in her mid 40's.

My point is, cancer can affect Lupus patients, too, and nobody talks about it.

The original question was regarding the Boobie bracelets and we got off track since this is a VERY PERSONAL subject. Even though we got off topic, we shared some very personal feelings here and I hoped we could respect those who shared their experiences.

I always mention having SLE Lupus to get the word out. Those who know me, already know about my daily struggle with it, but we still need money for research.

IMO, I think Kenny wanted a robust debate about the merits of the Boobie bracelets and got more than he bargained for.

Lori

 

[lulu]

I don't like it because it's disrespectful to women. Would society accept something similar in a testicular cancer campaign? It wouldn't happen because we think of men as men, not their body parts.

 

[jas]

I was thinking about this last night. I was wondering if everyone who had/knew someone with, say, colon or rectal cancer would be as amused by "I love a$$h***s" bracelets. Or if there was some similar brain cancer/zombie comment. Or something about stomach cancer/busting a gut.

I appreciate that some people do find this inoffensive, cute, wonderful, healing. That's fine. I really do respect that. I am not trying to change anyone's mind or ruin anyone's desire to raise money. I, personally, find it offensive, trivializing, cutesy, and while it may raise money, in my opinion, does harm -- although not equal to cancer, of course -- in other ways.

Those of us who don't like it don't have to like it.

The lovely thing is that there are many ways we can support cancer research and cancer patients. What lets you look in the mirror comfortably may not be the same thing that lets me look in the mirror comfortably. I'm not trying to convert or argue anyone to my point of view, nor will I rolly-eye emotie anyone who feels differently. I'm just presenting a different viewpoint.

Cancer is horrible. We all get through it in different ways. I can/have/do laugh about it...the "boobies" thing isn't funny to me. Cancer is fierce and I prefer my humor about it to be more of a match to it.

 

[AGBF]

Marian, I'm sending you a HUGE HUG....I'm developing a thick skin these days.

Lori

Thank you, Lori. I'm sending one back to you. I have learned a lot from this thread. Respect for each other is a core value for me. It speaks both to the topic, as well as the interactions while discussing it.

Hey there, Marian-

I wanted to give you a hug, too. I was trying to keep my mouth shut for a while (discretion being the better part of valor and all that), but you're a great woman. I want you to know I deeply appreciate you.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[dragonfly411]

I don't like it because it's disrespectful to women. Would society accept something similar in a testicular cancer campaign? It wouldn't happen because we think of men as men, not their body parts.

I have a friend who had testicular cancer and lost one. He constantly makes jokes about it. I think it is all a matter of personality.

 

[risingsun]

Marian, I'm sending you a HUGE HUG....I'm developing a thick skin these days.

Lori

Thank you, Lori. I'm sending one back to you. I have learned a lot from this thread. Respect for each other is a core value for me. It speaks both to the topic, as well as the interactions while discussing it.

Hey there, Marian-

I wanted to give you a hug, too. I was trying to keep my mouth shut for a while (discretion being the better part of valor and all that), but you're a great woman. I want you to know I deeply appreciate you.

Hugs,
Deb

Hi Deb,

I very much appreciate you and your willingness to fight the good fight. Your posts were spot on. IMO, the victims of cancer can make jokes, at their own expense, if it helps them deal with their disease. That doesn't give others permission to do so. You are a great woman, too. I always enjoy reading your posts. I like the way you stay true to your principles.

Hugs,
Marian

 

[somethingshiny]

I agree that "the victims of cancer can make jokes." But really, who ISN"T a victim of cancer? One set of my grandparents died young from cancer, my grandma currently if fighting skin cancer, I have 3 cousins who were all under 30 when they were diagnosed with various cancers (all of them with young children), an uncle who has been fighting for years and an aunt who just got the all clear after a year of battling breast cancer. I realize that it's not the same as HAVING such a horrible disease, but I still think my entire family has been victimized in its wake. If we choose to try to laugh to get by (at boobie bracelets or otherwise), I don't think anyone should judge us for it.

Everyone has been affected by cancer and there are as many ways to deal with as there are victims.