"I love you" - how long until the words, and how?

[CurlySue]

This is a sweet thread. Nice to read all these great stories first thing in the morning.

It was about three and a half months into our relationship. We were laying in bed before fallilng asleep - I was snuggled up next to him with my head on his chest, and I just said it.
He pulled my face up to his, kissed me, and told me he loved me, too.

 

[purselover]

We had been dating about a month and just hanging out when he said it, and I said it back, and then he admitted he was really worried I wouldn''t say it back which was cute.

 

[Bia]

Can''t remember...how sucky is that?!

We are a couple that says it a lot, maybe that''s why.

 

[LitigatorChick]

We were together about 10 days and we were eager to say it. We talked about making it special and not just blurting it out. So we held back and planned a dinner out together at a beautiful restaurant. We talked about us and where we were going and then finally he told me he loved me and I said it right back.

At that same date, we talked about the fact that he thought we shouldn''t be basically living together, so he would start spending more time at his place. He subsequently spent one night at his house and never again

. We also talked about marriage and he said, if I asked you to marry me right now, you would not say yes, right. And I agreed, we needed more time. Well a week later, he asked me what I would say, and I told him that I would say yes. The ring was ordered and should arrive from Signed Pieces this week!!!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

We had been dating about 4 months. We were on a trip to Las Vegas and both kind of liquored up enough to have the nerve to say it. It was in our hotel room after we had a really awesome night out on the Vegas Strip.

We are not an "I Love You" every day couple. I know couples who say it every time they hang up the phone. I think it wears it out.

 

[Bia]

Date: 6/24/2009 9:58:24 AM
Author: elledizzy5
We had been dating about 4 months. We were on a trip to Las Vegas and both kind of liquored up enough to have the nerve to say it. It was in our hotel room after we had a really awesome night out on the Vegas Strip.

We are not an ''I Love You'' every day couple. I know couples who say it every time they hang up the phone. I think it wears it out.

That''s us!

In our defense, I think it''s habit too. We both came from ''i love you'' families...you know, every time you talk on the phone, or say good bye, you say ''i love you...''

You''re right, it does sort of wear it out. BUT, there are different ways to say it, you know? For instance, when I say it in Spanish, it means ''romantic time papi''

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:05:49 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 6/24/2009 9:58:24 AM
Author: elledizzy5
We had been dating about 4 months. We were on a trip to Las Vegas and both kind of liquored up enough to have the nerve to say it. It was in our hotel room after we had a really awesome night out on the Vegas Strip.

We are not an ''I Love You'' every day couple. I know couples who say it every time they hang up the phone. I think it wears it out.

That''s us!

In our defense, I think it''s habit too. We both came from ''i love you'' families...you know, every time you talk on the phone, or say good bye, you say ''i love you...''

You''re right, it does sort of wear it out. BUT, there are different ways to say it, you know? For instance, when I say it in Spanish, it means ''romantic time papi''

LOL. Hahaha.

Yeah, my mom and I never say I love you. Maybe thats why? Plus my crappy 5 year relationship ex used to say it everyday, and didn''t mean it. He treated me like crap. I feel like if you have to say it EVERY day, then you''re not showing it enough. I realize thats not true, but in my case it was.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:09:43 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/24/2009 10:05:49 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 6/24/2009 9:58:24 AM
Author: elledizzy5
We had been dating about 4 months. We were on a trip to Las Vegas and both kind of liquored up enough to have the nerve to say it. It was in our hotel room after we had a really awesome night out on the Vegas Strip.

We are not an ''I Love You'' every day couple. I know couples who say it every time they hang up the phone. I think it wears it out.

That''s us!

In our defense, I think it''s habit too. We both came from ''i love you'' families...you know, every time you talk on the phone, or say good bye, you say ''i love you...''

You''re right, it does sort of wear it out. BUT, there are different ways to say it, you know? For instance, when I say it in Spanish, it means ''romantic time papi''

LOL. Hahaha.

Yeah, my mom and I never say I love you. Maybe thats why? Plus my crappy 5 year relationship ex used to say it everyday, and didn''t mean it. He treated me like crap. I feel like if you have to say it EVERY day, then you''re not showing it enough. I realize thats not true, but in my case it was.

Hahaha, we''re definitely one of the say it every day type of couples. Multiple times a day. I just love saying it, lol. I love showing him I love him and telling him I love him and just plain loving him, lol. And in part it''s just because I never, ever want the last thing I say to him to not be that I love him. I want that to be what he carries with him into the day, and just in case....well, if anything happens to either of us, I never want to worry that maybe he didn''t hear it.

By the same token, I don''t think we''ve ever really called each other by our actual names. In fact, one time he used my name on the phone and I had convinced myself there was another girl there or he was mad at me or something. We''re a nickname/terms of endearment-only couple.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:42:55 AM
Author: princesss

Hahaha, we''re definitely one of the say it every day type of couples. Multiple times a day. I just love saying it, lol. I love showing him I love him and telling him I love him and just plain loving him, lol. And in part it''s just because I never, ever want the last thing I say to him to not be that I love him. I want that to be what he carries with him into the day, and just in case....well, if anything happens to either of us, I never want to worry that maybe he didn''t hear it.

By the same token, I don''t think we''ve ever really called each other by our actual names. In fact, one time he used my name on the phone and I had convinced myself there was another girl there or he was mad at me or something. We''re a nickname/terms of endearment-only couple.

LOL, ditto!

When he calls me Lauren, I get *really* uncomfortable. I can''t call his name either, it''s weird.

 

[Bia]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:46:06 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/24/2009 10:42:55 AM
Author: princesss

Hahaha, we''re definitely one of the say it every day type of couples. Multiple times a day. I just love saying it, lol. I love showing him I love him and telling him I love him and just plain loving him, lol. And in part it''s just because I never, ever want the last thing I say to him to not be that I love him. I want that to be what he carries with him into the day, and just in case....well, if anything happens to either of us, I never want to worry that maybe he didn''t hear it.

By the same token, I don''t think we''ve ever really called each other by our actual names. In fact, one time he used my name on the phone and I had convinced myself there was another girl there or he was mad at me or something. We''re a nickname/terms of endearment-only couple.

LOL, ditto!

When he calls me Lauren, I get *really* uncomfortable. I can''t call his name either, it''s weird.

He only calls me Bia when he''s beyond pissed--I brought him to that next level (you know that level?). So, yea, I don''t feel comfortable when he calls me my name either. I always find it peculiar when couples call eachother by their first name. Not bad, just different.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:05:49 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 6/24/2009 9:58:24 AM
Author: elledizzy5
We had been dating about 4 months. We were on a trip to Las Vegas and both kind of liquored up enough to have the nerve to say it. It was in our hotel room after we had a really awesome night out on the Vegas Strip.

We are not an ''I Love You'' every day couple. I know couples who say it every time they hang up the phone. I think it wears it out.

That''s us!

We do too. It''s a habit that FI has to always say I love you before he leaves the house or hangs up the phone. If I hang up on him quickly (I tend to do a trailing goodbye as I''m haning up), he''ll call back and ask why I didn''t say I love you. I''ve gotten used to it. Now if he does leave the house in a hurry and doesn''t say I love you with a kiss, I''ll call him and he''ll come back upstairs

lol what a PITA!

 

[LilyKat]

Aww, thanks for posting all the lovely stories! It was great to read them. The reason I asked is that my boyfriend has just said it for the first time

Just over three months into the relationship. He kind of hinted he wanted to say it before, but apparently there is a "man rule" of not saying before 3 months. Who knew, eh?

It got me thinking because my ex said it the day after we started dating. I was totally taken aback. He told me later that he didn't really mean it, but wanted to "get it out of the way so it wouldn't be a big deal when I said it later on."

LitigatorChick, how exciting for you! Correct me if I'm completely wrong, but by my calculations from your post you've been dating less than a month - am I mistaken or have you just moved super efficiently?!

 

[tlh]

I dont say I love you if I dont mean it. Don''t remember wehn I told my Hubs I loved him ... but I do remember when the slouch before him said it to me. THe slouch and I had an intensely sexual relationship, but not really a relationship if you get me. I mean, it wasn''t a deep connection, just physical and I honestly always suspected he was cheating on me, there was just that... disconnect... and one time after we did it, I was falling asleep, and he waited until he thought I was asleep and he told me he loved me. IT FREAKED ME OUT.

The next day he had the courage to say it when I was awake... and was like "I love you"... and then repeated it, like I didn''t hear it... "I love you....." waiting for a response, and eh... a thank you just wouldn''t cut it... so I said, "uh, yeah, I la la you too." MEANING, you don''t really love me, and I dont'' love you.. so this is weird. I NEVER told him I loved him, I would always say... I la la you too. Now this happened to be around the time of Ashley Simpson''s hit? You make me want to LA LA. which had more to do with the "F" word than love. So it was my inside joke, and still makes me laugh when I think about it. He on the other hand, thought it was really cute, that I called love LALA... and he would tell everyone that I la la him. Sigh, no wonder it never worked out. hahaha

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 6/24/2009 11:00:41 AM
Author: LilyKat
Aww, thanks for posting all the lovely stories! It was great to read them. The reason I asked is that my boyfriend has just said it for the first time

Just over three months into the relationship. He kind of hinted he wanted to say it before, but apparently there is a ''man rule'' of not saying before 3 months. Who knew, eh?

It got me thinking because my ex said it the day after we started dating. I was totally taken aback. He told me later that he didn''t really mean it, but wanted to ''get it out of the way so it wouldn''t be a big deal when I said it later on.''

LitigatorChick, how exciting for you! Correct me if I''m completely wrong, but by my calculations from your post you''ve been dating less than a month - am I mistaken or have you just moved super efficiently?!

Not that quick!!!! We have been dating 2 1/2 months (since early April). The ring search took about 3 weeks (started that end of April, I believe), and then we ordered from Signed Pieces on May 22 (I think). It took a while to make and then customs but he is picking it up today!!!!!! Yah, it is crazy - my Ex-husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married - but look how that ended up!!! When ya know, ya know!!!!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 6/24/2009 6:48:49 AM
Author: AdiS
DH and I started dating December 3rd. On December 8th (Students Day in Bulgaria) we were celebrating with our friends and fellow students in a small town which is a famous ski resort. The party went on the whole day and night and at one point I was already so tired, that I was basically sleeping with my eyes open. DH saw me, started laughing and jokingly asked ''What are you thinking about? You look so deep in thought''

The first reply that came to my mind shocked me so much that I woke up with lightning speed. I was about to blurt out ''I love you'' and mean it!

I said ''Sorry, but I can''t tell you. It''s too early.''
He said nothing and seemed undisturbed so I was absolutely sure there was no way he could''ve guessed what I meant.

The next morning he brought me some coffee and while I was drinking it, he announced, completely out of the blue:

''You know what? It''s not.''
(me, flabbergasted) ''It''s not what?''
''It''s not too early. I love you.''
(me, spilling coffee all over the place) ''I love you!!!''
(him, smug) ''Yeah, I know''

So, that makes 6 days I suppose? sunny, hand over the medal! lol

Damn! LOL!

 

[Lilac]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:42:55 AM
Author: princesss

Date: 6/24/2009 10:09:43 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/24/2009 10:05:49 AM

Author: Bia

Date: 6/24/2009 9:58:24 AM

Author: elledizzy5

We had been dating about 4 months. We were on a trip to Las Vegas and both kind of liquored up enough to have the nerve to say it. It was in our hotel room after we had a really awesome night out on the Vegas Strip.


We are not an ''I Love You'' every day couple. I know couples who say it every time they hang up the phone. I think it wears it out.

That''s us!

In our defense, I think it''s habit too. We both came from ''i love you'' families...you know, every time you talk on the phone, or say good bye, you say ''i love you...''


You''re right, it does sort of wear it out. BUT, there are different ways to say it, you know? For instance, when I say it in Spanish, it means ''romantic time papi''

LOL. Hahaha.


Yeah, my mom and I never say I love you. Maybe thats why? Plus my crappy 5 year relationship ex used to say it everyday, and didn''t mean it. He treated me like crap. I feel like if you have to say it EVERY day, then you''re not showing it enough. I realize thats not true, but in my case it was.

Hahaha, we''re definitely one of the say it every day type of couples. Multiple times a day. I just love saying it, lol. I love showing him I love him and telling him I love him and just plain loving him, lol. And in part it''s just because I never, ever want the last thing I say to him to not be that I love him. I want that to be what he carries with him into the day, and just in case....well, if anything happens to either of us, I never want to worry that maybe he didn''t hear it.


By the same token, I don''t think we''ve ever really called each other by our actual names. In fact, one time he used my name on the phone and I had convinced myself there was another girl there or he was mad at me or something. We''re a nickname/terms of endearment-only couple.

I thought we were the only ones!!! DH and I very *very* rarely call each other by our first names. In the almost 5 years we''ve been together, I can count on one hand probably the amount of times we''ve used each others first names to get each others attention or talking directly to each other. I thought I was crazy (and never tell anyone about it because it seems sort of weird!) but that''s just how we are. We use nicknames and terms of endearment. We tell each other "I love you" multiple times a day. But both of us feel weird calling each other by our first names

.

It''s sort of nice to know I''m not the only one!

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 6/24/2009 2:42:09 PM
Author: LitigatorChick

Date: 6/24/2009 11:00:41 AM

Author: LilyKat

Aww, thanks for posting all the lovely stories! It was great to read them. The reason I asked is that my boyfriend has just said it for the first time

Just over three months into the relationship. He kind of hinted he wanted to say it before, but apparently there is a ''man rule'' of not saying before 3 months. Who knew, eh?


It got me thinking because my ex said it the day after we started dating. I was totally taken aback. He told me later that he didn''t really mean it, but wanted to ''get it out of the way so it wouldn''t be a big deal when I said it later on.''

LitigatorChick, how exciting for you! Correct me if I''m completely wrong, but by my calculations from your post you''ve been dating less than a month - am I mistaken or have you just moved super efficiently?!

Not that quick!!!! We have been dating 2 1/2 months (since early April). The ring search took about 3 weeks (started that end of April, I believe), and then we ordered from Signed Pieces on May 22 (I think). It took a while to make and then customs but he is picking it up today!!!!!! Yah, it is crazy - my Ex-husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married - but look how that ended up!!! When ya know, ya know!!!!

Aww, I''m so happy for you! I totally agree with the when you know, you know. Congratulations

 

[susied]

Almost four years and he still hasn''t said it first, only in response to me saying it. Hmmm...

 

[LitigatorChick]

Thanks LilyKat!!!!

 

[mrscushion]

With us, it was very quick, a couple of weeks after we started dating eight years ago. Perhaps that was because we were still young and immature and didn''t fully know what it meant to love someone. On the other hand, I knew when I met FI that he was very different from any other guy I''d ever dated and I was pretty sure he was "the one." Our relationship was also intense from the get-go, so it makes sense that we said the L-word right away.

 

[tlh]

I just asked my DH if he remembered the first time he said I love you to me and vice versa... and he''s like nope, but I love you... I guess we say it a lot during the course of the day... hard to keep track.

 

[lilylover]

Awww I love reading all the replies.

BF and I had been dating a measly 3 weeks before we said it. But, we just.. knew. We had been casually dating a couple months prior to finally getting together.

We were lying in bed together after watching a movie, and the room was totally dark. I said, "Guess what?" and he ruined my plans and said some smart/funny coment that I can''t remember at the moment.

Argh! I asked him again and this time he replied, "What?" and I told him.

There was a long dramatic pause and he said, "I love you too."

I later asked why he waited so long to say it back, and he said that he was just taking it all in.

We''ve been together 4 and a half years now and I still can''t tell him I love him enough.

 

[Snicklefritz]

10.5 months. We both knew it long before that, but we really wanted to go slow in the beginning and it''s worked out great for us!

 

[happydreams]

1 year.

 

[trillionaire]

Hmm... around two years (23 months).

So, I was in LA doing research, and he was back in DC. We were talking on the phone for hours and hours that day, and just having really good conversation... at some point he decides that I can ask him any 10 questions that I want! I immediately knew my question, which way 'Why haven't you ever told me you loved me?", but I asked all of the filler questions first.

His response was, "Well, can't you tell". I did have to say yes... he said that he thought that girls were supposed to say it first (and he had never dated anyone before to prove or disprove that theory!)

At any rate, he didn't say it then, but before we got off the phone later that evening. I'm sure I said it back.

He also said that he was nervous to say it, because he sent me a "Love ya" text message a year earlier, but I never responded or acknowledge it. LOL, I def remember getting it, and smiling about it, but I didn' reply to it

He also said it was on one of the cards he gave me, which was more like "I _ _ _ _ You!"
... it said LOVE on the back, which I never noticed, lol! Too funny! He is from a big "I love you" family, and I am not. His dad, brother and mom always say it, and his mom says it to me too!

It took me a while to warm up to it, but we are a very big "I love you" couple now! I love it and he says it even more than I do, lol! One of the ways he said it today just made my heart pitter patter!

We are also very affectionate and touchy feely, which is totally unnatural to me. I'm still not very comfortable with pet names, we stick with 'dear' and 'babe', but that's all I can really handle... I'm so weird!

I'm glad we didn't say "I love you" sooner, I've really enjoyed the slow and steady pace of our relationship, and each new phase is interesting and exciting!


Old Thread on First I Love You's! <--- Other PSer's shared their stories here

 

[princessplease]

Princesss, Bia, and elle, I completely get the not calling each other by first names. I don''t know how it came about, but we call each other babe.
I remember one time, we were at my dad''s restaurant, and he called me by my first name because I was on the other side of the room, and it took me about 10 seconds to realize that he was talking to me, lol! My stepmom even asks me how babe is doing when she calls me lol!!!
Elle, I had no idea what your first name was until today

 

[AdiS]

Date: 6/24/2009 3:01:21 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 6/24/2009 6:48:49 AM
Author: AdiS

So, that makes 6 days I suppose? sunny, hand over the medal! lol

Damn! LOL!

haha

 

[audball]

Date: 6/24/2009 3:01:21 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 6/24/2009 6:48:49 AM
Author: AdiS
DH and I started dating December 3rd. On December 8th (Students Day in Bulgaria) we were celebrating with our friends and fellow students in a small town which is a famous ski resort. The party went on the whole day and night and at one point I was already so tired, that I was basically sleeping with my eyes open. DH saw me, started laughing and jokingly asked 'What are you thinking about? You look so deep in thought'

The first reply that came to my mind shocked me so much that I woke up with lightning speed. I was about to blurt out 'I love you' and mean it!

I said 'Sorry, but I can't tell you. It's too early.'
He said nothing and seemed undisturbed so I was absolutely sure there was no way he could've guessed what I meant.

The next morning he brought me some coffee and while I was drinking it, he announced, completely out of the blue:

'You know what? It's not.'
(me, flabbergasted) 'It's not what?'
'It's not too early. I love you.'
(me, spilling coffee all over the place) 'I love you!!!'
(him, smug) 'Yeah, I know'

So, that makes 6 days I suppose? sunny, hand over the medal! lol

Damn! LOL!

I'll take the medal please! Make us -3 days. We met on 9-6-05 in class and studied together, hung out, etc. just as friends for weeks and weeks, not really dating, just getting to know eachother, we spent a lot of time together and went out and did things, but it was never like dating. Well, turns out, we both had a thing for each other. I was a MOH in a friend's wedding on 11-4-05 (out of town). He called me later that night to see how it went and we talked for a few minutes. As he was hanging up, he said, "Okay, well I'll see you you get back in town on Monday, I love you. *silence* Me: "Um..." Him: "I, uh, um, I uh, gotta go, bye." Hahah. I said I love you too but he wasn't on the line to hear it. I got back in town Sunday night 11-6-05 and went to see him. That night I told him I loved him too. The next day we went sailing out on the bay and that night we decided to be official, we were an exclusive couple, and we were in love. So 2 months from the day we met, and 3 days before we began officially dating instead of being friends that hung out, alone, a lot. I win!

ETA: We moved in together at 7 months (July '06) of being 'official' and have lived together 3 years now (almost). We just signed a new lease for a great place (moved in last week) and will celebrate our 4 year anniversary in November.

 

[AdiS]

Date: 6/24/2009 10:42:55 AM
Author: princesss

Hahaha, we''re definitely one of the say it every day type of couples. Multiple times a day. I just love saying it, lol. I love showing him I love him and telling him I love him and just plain loving him, lol. And in part it''s just because I never, ever want the last thing I say to him to not be that I love him. I want that to be what he carries with him into the day, and just in case....well, if anything happens to either of us, I never want to worry that maybe he didn''t hear it.

By the same token, I don''t think we''ve ever really called each other by our actual names. In fact, one time he used my name on the phone and I had convinced myself there was another girl there or he was mad at me or something. We''re a nickname/terms of endearment-only couple.

Same here, princesss. It may sound weird and even creepy, but that''s exactly what I want to make sure.
When I got hit by a car on the street around 4 years ago, I had just gotten out of our car. DH was driving me to the University where I had classes. We had a stupid fight during the ride, I don''t even remember the reason. I think it had something to do with him trying to call me earlier that day and me not answering because the phone was in my bag so I hadn''t heard it was ringing.

Anyway, I got off the car, still mad at him and told him in a grumpy voice "Well, I hope you have a great day, now that you''ve ruined mine" or something like that. He answered accordingly, of course, and took off. I took a step forward and that speeding car just came out of nowhere and hit me with the power of a locomotive. DH saw it all in his rear view mirror. I was ok, miraculously, just a few bruises. But DH was not. I had never seen him like that before and hope I never again will. He came running, leaving the car in the middle of the road, grabbing me in his arms and just saying that he loves me, over and over again. And I was terrifyed not because of the accident, but because I realised that I could''ve been dead that very moment and the last words we exchanged would''ve been some petty stupid bickering.
Phew, this is getting long. lol Point is, from that day on, we both make sure to say "I love you" as many times a day as possible, we never part angry at each other if we had a fight and we basically try to devote more time to more pleasant things than bickering.

 

[AdiS]

Date: 6/25/2009 10:34:29 AM
Author: audball

Date: 6/24/2009 3:01:21 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 6/24/2009 6:48:49 AM
Author: AdiS

So, that makes 6 days I suppose? sunny, hand over the medal! lol

Damn! LOL!

I''ll take the medal please! Make us -3 days. We met on 9-6-05 in class and studied together, hung out, etc. just as friends for weeks and weeks, not really dating, just getting to know eachother, we spent a lot of time together and went out and did things, but it was never like dating. Well, turns out, we both had a thing for each other. I was a MOH in a friend''s wedding on 11-4-05 (out of town). He called me later that night to see how it went and we talked for a few minutes. As he was hanging up, he said, ''Okay, well I''ll see you you get back in town on Monday, I love you. *silence* Me: ''Um...'' Him: ''I, uh, um, I uh, gotta go, bye.'' Hahah. I said I love you too but he wasn''t on the line to hear it. I got back in town Sunday night 11-6-05 and went to see him. That night I told him I loved him too. The next day we went sailing out on the bay and that night we decided to be official, we were an exclusive couple, and we were in love. So 2 months from the day we met, and 3 days before we began officially dating instead of being friends that hung out, alone, a lot. I win!

ETA: We moved in together at 7 months (July ''06) of being ''official'' and have lived together 3 years now (almost). We just signed a new lease for a great place (moved in last week) and will celebrate our 4 year anniversary in November.

hahaha, make that a double damn!