imagine what would happen if PS wasn''t a moderated forum .....

[belle]

Date: 8/13/2005 4:49:41 PM
Author: TheTankMan
Well, I wouldn't really respond with 'I'll go waaaaaaaaaay out on a limb here and take a CRAZY guess. Maybe....just maaaaaaaaaaybe......' to someone I don't know well. At our car board, we might use that kind of sarcasm if an old regular said something really dumb or missed an obvious point, but it's all in fun. I know at least I am more cautious with newcomers and even regulars that I know are more sensitive than most. Something that makes our car board different than some competing ones is that we make an effort to be nice to new members. Many come and ask questions that have been discussed several times before, and some boards would just post a link or tell them 'go search the archive,' but that's not the right feel for a message board. It's nice to get a human reply to your post even if it's an 'old question.' It's that kind of attitude that makes our board pleasant to be at.

hmmmmm... i think an important point of forum etiquette is that newbies don't come in with a 'tank' attitude and critize respected forum regulars

you will find ps is a very welcoming and extremely helpful and tolerant place, but the 'mine is better than yours' attitude won't endear you to many.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/13/2005 8:28:24 PM
Author: belle

hmmmmm... i think an important point of forum etiquette is that newbies don''t come in with a ''tank'' attitude and critize respected forum regulars

you will find ps is a very welcoming and extremely helpful and tolerant place, but the ''mine is better than yours'' attitude won''t endear you to many.

Hahahah - maybe it''s just because I''ve been around a while, but I see it like this:

PS is like Cheers to me. "Where everybody knows your naaaaaaaame......", so to speak. We''re happy to have new folks enter the bar, but if we''ve all been happy drinking beer, we won''t take kindly to a new guy telling us that any drink other than margaritas is akin to swill.

Hey, if YOU want a margarita, go right ahead. But I''ll take my beer, and the smart guy is the one who won''t tell me why I shouldn''t continue to like the beer.

 

[belle]

Date: 8/13/2005 8:34:45 PM
Author: aljdewey

Hahahah - maybe it''s just because I''ve been around a while, but I see it like this:

PS is like Cheers to me. ''Where everybody knows your naaaaaaaame......'', so to speak. We''re happy to have new folks enter the bar, but if we''ve all been happy drinking beer, we won''t take kindly to a new guy telling us that any drink other than margaritas is akin to swill.

Hey, if YOU want a margarita, go right ahead. But I''ll take my beer, and the smart guy is the one who won''t tell me why I shouldn''t continue to like the beer.

i always knew i was in the right place! cheers!

 

[Mara]

i want a margarita...a mango one mixed with the WS mango mix...YUM!

 

[pricescope]

I like "Becker" more, so i have crappy coffee.

 

[belle]

it sounding like happy hour time

where''s kaleigh?

 

[Kaleigh]

Haha, I found out that I wasn''t very good at that job, plus all I had to offer you folks was gold fish and that didn''t go over very well, Lol!!!!! I didn''t know half the drinks you guys ordered. I''m a coors Lite gal myself!!!!

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

obsevrations:

1. anything to do with weddings and marriage is stressful and drives you to drink
2. IRina and Leonid could run a nice happy bar

 

[TheTankMan]

I suppose the moderators are the ones that one way or another decide what kind of forum they want. Many a forum become the domain of an exclusive few long-time members where newcomers are not welcome. This is like a sorority or fraternity with their heirarchies of "respected regulars," and hazing rituals for new members. That happens in car message boards too. I prefer boards where newcomers are welcome, treated as equals with good manners and simply taught whatever they were ignorant about. On the bad side, it can get repetitive to go through the same discussions a second and third time, but on the good side the ''vibe'' is more pleasant, friendly and helpful. I barely started coming to Pricescope yesterday so I''m still not sure where it falls on that range, but I''m getting an idea of where certain members would like it to be.

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 8/13/2005 11:57:51 PM
Author: TheTankMan

I suppose the moderators are the ones that one way or another decide what kind of forum they want. Many a forum become the domain of an exclusive few long-time members where newcomers are not welcome. This is like a sorority or fraternity with their heirarchies of 'respected regulars,' and hazing rituals for new members. That happens in car message boards too. I prefer boards where newcomers are welcome, treated as equals with good manners and simply taught whatever they were ignorant about. On the bad side, it can get repetitive to go through the same discussions a second and third time, but on the good side the 'vibe' is more pleasant, friendly and helpful. I barely started coming to Pricescope yesterday so I'm still not sure where it falls on that range, but I'm getting an idea of where certain members would like it to be.

I don't think this is the case on Pricescope. I always see new posters warmly received and usually assisted with their needs/questions.

What I do feel happens is more that the long-standing members have established a distinct rapport with each other and can be close-minded to deviations from that behavior, creating a sort of double standard. I often wonder if some of the newer members took certain tones and adopted such attitudes, would they continue to be in favor or "popular" on the board? It can feel, at times, like high school. And heck, I left that nonsense behind 15 years ago and do not need to go back.

ETA: I actually think welcoming people is where Pscope excels. In fact, I have seen several posters who clearly only come here to post their items and receive compliments/feedback on their stuff but rarely ever try to help or provide feedback to others. Yet, many of the regulars continue to treat them quite graciously. I personally don't agree with this routine but I respect the other members' right to be more tolerant of narcissists than I.

 

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 8/13/2005 11:57:51 PM
Author: TheTankMan

I suppose the moderators are the ones that one way or another decide what kind of forum they want. Many a forum become the domain of an exclusive few long-time members where newcomers are not welcome. This is like a sorority or fraternity with their heirarchies of ''respected regulars,'' and hazing rituals for new members. That happens in car message boards too. I prefer boards where newcomers are welcome, treated as equals with good manners and simply taught whatever they were ignorant about. On the bad side, it can get repetitive to go through the same discussions a second and third time, but on the good side the ''vibe'' is more pleasant, friendly and helpful. I barely started coming to Pricescope yesterday so I''m still not sure where it falls on that range, but I''m getting an idea of where certain members would like it to be.

Hi Tank.

Just peeking in to say I think you will find the welcome, educational approach you described standard in RockyTalky, which is the normal port of entry here. Newbies who demonstrate a desire to learn and participate are extended every courtesy there. More often than not there is a period of of time that passes before they begin venturing into places like hangout.

The hair gets let down a bit more here (for those who have hair).

It really is kind of that ''Cheers'' atmosphere Alj described - and the best thing about that is there''s always a new episode and new interactions around the corner...I hope you''ll keep appearing.

 

[sarita]

I don''t want to quote the entire post so:

"1. My post was intended to be facetious.....outrageous understatment....which it appears most people got."

I got it too, but the tone in which you answered was rather condescending.

"2. Someone I don''t know well? I''ve been posting and talking with most of the participants in this thread for a very long time.....they know me quite well, and I know them quite well--as evidenced by the fact that most of them knew it was an understatement."

You don''t know me at all and while you may have been commenting to everyone you quoted me directly to respond so I read your response as such. I wasn''t even going to say anything because I knew I''d get picked at but since TankMan has stood up for me I thought I''d point out the validity of it seeing as I am a "newbie" and appreciate forum manners.

 

[Jennifer5973]

What tends to happen is that nastiness and rudeness are promoted and defended as freedom of self-expression and hypersensitivity on the part of those who speak up.

It is clear that everyone must accept the duplicitous standard of conduct here (a standard that changes depending on who is acting is by definition not a standard) ...the old phrase, "love it, or leave it" comes to mind. This is everyone's individual choice. Stay and deal with/ignore the shenanigans, and find your own value from being here, or move on.

it is what it is.

 

[fire&ice]

Newcomers are usually welcomed here. But, a newcomer who hasn''t posted a single diamond related issue - one has to wonder why they are on a diamond forum? And as such - wonders what''s up?

 

[pricescope]

style="WIDTH: 101.44%; HEIGHT: 120px">Date: 8/14/2005 8:28:50 AM
Author: sarita

...I wasn''t even going to say anything because I knew I''d get picked at but since TankMan has stood up for me I thought I''d point out the validity of it seeing as I am a ''newbie'' and appreciate forum manners.

Sarita, i usually stood up for my wife (or myself

) too.

...Jennifer, speaking of ganging up and "forum manners"...

 

[MissAva]

Admittedly the only other forum I have been on was e-diets. SO I dont have a great deal to back me up here. Still I really like PS. I found it while looking for information about a certain setting. I have I found Pricescope to be sucha haven for those who really want to learn/discuss diamonds. Everyone here even the long timers have been helpful. Sometimes I get things said to me on a thread or PM that I dont care for. Oh well it happens in real life too.
As a whole I think the people of Pricescope are warm and friendly. Yes I do get a kick out the "fiesty" threads, and sometimes I jump in. When I do I know that the next person to get their bum handed to them will likely be me. But I laugh so hard that it would be unfair of me to get offened. I dont think anyone comes on here with the intention of hurting or upsetting others.
Personally I feel Irina and Lenod do a great job of making this a fun place to hang out. The Are We There Yet Threads have been a God-send for several of us!

 

[aljdewey]

I have to disagree with the notion that long-standing members are close-minded to deviations that new participants bring.

I''ve been here nearly 3 years, and in those three years, there have been all kinds of people coming through here. Some are strong, some are quiet, some are mellow, some are not. Many different personalities have been able to co-exist peacefully here for a very long time. There''s room here for everyone to come and be themselves.

The problems arise when some folks take it upon themselves to decide how everyone else should participate.....to elect themselves "hall monitors". (I''m not directing this last comment at you, Jenn, nor to any one individual in particular. I mean that sincerely.

)

I''m not touchy-feely, hearts-and-flowers myself, but I don''t tell the touchy-feely group that they shouldn''t be touchy-feely. If everyone wants to gush back and forth, fine by me. I just don''t participate in those threads. But nor do I (or others) expect people to tell us we need to modify the way we express ourselves just to suit them, either. I''m direct; I don''t mince words. Those who can''t handle that should simply ignore me.....with my personal invitation. They don''t have the right to tell me that I have to be less direct or less matter-of-fact just because it would suit them....especially a mere five minutes after they''ve walked in the virtual door. None of my comments are EVER offered with malice, and knowing many of the other straight-shooters here well, I can say with certainty that none of theirs are offered with malice, either.

There are a core group of regulars who don''t mind mixing it up every now and then. By mixing it up, I mean that we debate passionately about our positions. Those of us who do that are all fine with it. For someone to come along and tell us we shouldn''t do that is simply out of line. The idea that it''s ok to come to a forum and tell everyone they have to behave in a way some other forum does is ludicrous to me. If I wanted that kind of interaction, I''d likely already belong to that other forum. For those who have other forums they feel are more welcoming, go enjoy those forums. Participation at Pricescope isn''t compulsory, it''s voluntary.

Honestly, anyone can be a "regular" here........and there can be more than one subset of "regulars". Regular just means you''re here a lot, and stay here longer than it takes to purchase your item. No secret club, no decoder ring......really.

Just a willlingness to offer what you have to give, and the sense to take from what you like and pass by that which you don''t.

PS is a schmorgasboard of offerings. I don''t happen to like peas, but other people do, so peas should be a part of the menu. I do like asparagus; others don''t care for it....they find it too bitter. Does that mean they have the right to demand removal of ALL asparagus because they don''t like it? NO. It means they should simply pass the asparagus by and move on to find the peas they DO like.

 

[fire&ice]

Al, you didn''t get the decoder ring?

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 8/14/2005 10:39:14 AM
Author: Pricescope

style="WIDTH: 101.44%; HEIGHT: 120px">Date: 8/14/2005 8:28:50 AM
Author: sarita

...I wasn't even going to say anything because I knew I'd get picked at but since TankMan has stood up for me I thought I'd point out the validity of it seeing as I am a 'newbie' and appreciate forum manners.

Sarita, i usually stood up for my wife (or myself

) too.

...Jennifer, speaking of ganging up and 'forum manners'...

Don't understand your comment, Leonid.

Just expressing my opinion in a general and non-aggressive manner...????

ETA: Oh, is TankMan Saritas's husband? Is that the deduction? If so, point well taken, but may I suggest more consistent and unbiased disapproval of such behavior? After all, what's good for the goose....

 

[MissAva]

Date: 8/14/2005 12:36:14 PM
Author: aljdewey

No secret club, no decoder ring......really.

Awww...but I really wanted that ring!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/14/2005 12:48:32 PM
Author: fire&ice
Al, you didn''t get the decoder ring?

DAMMIT - I *knew* I wasn''t getting my fair share. GIVE ME that ring, F&I!

Don''t make me come over there to get it! (rotflmao)

*sob* - I didn''t get the decoder ring. You''ve ruined my whole day.

 

[Mara]

Seriously, IMO the bottom line is that if people do not like PS or the dynamics, there are other places on the internet to hang out if that is what is important. You can't change a forum dynamic as hard as you try...it either is or is not your cup of tea. That's just my two cents.

AL are you forgetting the infamous RED BODYSUITS!!! That was the equivalent of the secret decoder ring way back when.

Though mine is kind of tattered.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/14/2005 1:52:40 PM
Author: Mara

AL are you forgetting the infamous RED BODYSUITS!!! That was the equivalent of the secret decoder ring way back when.

Though mine is kind of tattered.

*whining*.....but I didn''t look GOOD in the damn bodysuit. I want the RING.

I''m gonna have to stalk F&I to get it.

 

[Kaleigh]

Ok what''s the deal with the red bodysuits??? I never liked bodysuits either!!!

 

[Mara]

Al you forget...

"The bodysuits would be ''figure perfectors'' of course. Made of some special material that turns us all into Victoria''s Secret models (with less bones sticking out)."

for you Kaleigh: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/where-should-my-priorities-be.10919/

my repeated mantra: Gosh the old days....and CG...scooby dooo where are youuuuu?!?!?!

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 8/14/2005 2:16:52 PM
Author: Mara
Al you forget...

''The bodysuits would be ''figure perfectors'' of course. Made of some special material that turns us all into Victoria''s Secret models (with less bones sticking out).''

for you Kaleigh: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/where-should-my-priorities-be.10919/

my repeated mantra: Gosh the old days....and CG...scooby dooo where are youuuuu?!?!?!

Honestly, my mouth dropped when I read this link/thread.... It is the classic example of someone with a dissenting viewpoint being ganged up upon by the old timers... I even re-read "jolie''s" first comments-- thrice--she was just saying to be sure of what his fiancee valued in a stone...believe it or not, some people would rather have a smaller, D, VVS stone than a big J, SI2...it doesn''t mean it''s wrong. And if some people assign a deeper meaning to the stone and correlate its purity/rareness with the depth of emotions, who are we to argue with that beliefe/viewpoint/cultural perspective? And so condescendingly and nastily...??? The entire diamond industry is bulit upon the great marketing ploy of quantifying a man''s love for a woman with a diamond....

Disagreeing is healthy and good, but whether anyone else here cares to admit it, there is a palpable vibe among certain threads, involving certain people that is just not in the spirit of politeness and good manners.

So many of us, myself included, parade around here with our diamonds and expensive pocketbooks and fancy cars, intimations about where we live and what lifestyes we have, and all the other "fluff" but I have always known--because it was how I was raised--that true class is grounded in how we treat other people...Not at the expense of our own values, opinions, or beliefs, but with a balance between keeping consideration of others top of mind and being true to ourselves. Even on a silly internet forum, I can''t let this value go, which is why I guess I am in trouble here.

I can''t fight city hall (and it''s not worth it at the end of the day) but I can state my opinions, which is good enough. I am, as both aljdewey and I articulated in earlier posts in this very thread, taking what I want from Pricescope and ignoring the rest.

 

[Mara]

jenn, i have refrained up until now from saying anything re: my thoughts since i didn't feel like getting into it (imagine that?!)....but the comments you made here about how to treat people or politeness floored ME. no one is a saint and you certainly have participated a time or two in posts that were less than perfect behavior. perfect case in point is your ETA to your thread up above where you said that people were welcomed here even though they just came to post their own pictures or items, and you didn't support narcissistic behavior. ouch? What is that? is what you said a positive thing? why even say something like that, what is it relevant to? as you said, if its good for the goose...

seriously, none of us are saints here and some of us are stronger willed or opinionated than others, but at least be honest about how you are. i dislike seeing people throw stones when they are encased in glass housing.

as for the critique on pricescope's post re: exposing Sarita/Tankman as having the same IP...seriously that is something that would have been better suited to PM IMO.

 

[strmrdr]

Getting back to the orginal question in the topic.

There would be a lot more spammers
There would be some very agressive vendors.

The too biggest headaches are keeping the spammers out and the self promotion down.

I like to think for the most part how most of the users interact most of the time would not change much.
Those that stay here all have there own reasons but those that want to help people are the ones that generaly stay the longest and post the most.
There would be a lot more noise but maybe Im seeing it thru rose colored glasses but I like to think the job would still get done.
The job being to help people with very expensive and emotional purchases to make a safe and happy trip thru the landmines of the diamond industry.

 

[Mara]

re: the posting of that old thread and the note that people were ganging up.

the original poster there used terminology like 'seriously flawed' to describe a diamond and someone's LOVE. sure her point was find out what your gf wants. but to use the terminology and delivery..honestly, that is an opinion that not many can get behind and a defense was made for people who may not consider an SI or I1 or similar seriously flawed in a negative sense. maybe it was how she worded it fine, but it was a strong statement and it got strong responses. people disagreed with her, she held her own in response, big deal! imagine that. no whining. then the post got FUN and there was less focus on the drama and more on having a good time and letting off some steam in a fun way.

i can't think of anything more boring than a forum where people all post what they think on a subject and then NO ONE is allowed to disagree or say 'hey i think that is wrong' and say why. so if 4-5 people disagree with someone, it's considered ganging up? no one got out of line in that thread, it was fraught with humor, and that is a positive thing! humor is good.

 

[fire&ice]

SPYGIRL! keeps all decoder rings.