Invitations - How important are they?

[aphisiglovessae]

I just don''t see any justification for spending a thousand dollars on something that''s probably going into the trash, no matter how gorgeous they may be. It''s such a waste to me.

I''m not worried about whether or not people will know how formal my wedding is because I talk to all of them and have told them what type of wedding it will be. I just think there''s many other ways for you to convey everything without spending so much.

 

[ivanadiamond]

I definitely think that invitations convey the formality of a wedding, but you don't have to spend $$$$$ to achieve it per se. Ultimately most people open them and throw them away. And the people who do judge you based on them are going to find something to talk about regardless.
When I was looking I fell in love invitations that were going to cost over $2000 and I really loved them, I mean LOVED them...then my husband posed the following question:

"would you rather send out $2000 invitations, or send out $1000 ones a buy yourself a Gucci purse?"

well all I could reply was, "now you're speaking my language" and me and my new gucci are quite happy with the results!

 

[squarediamondlove]

Date: 4/5/2006 6:29:25 PM
Author: ivanadiamond
I definitely think that invitations convey the formality of a wedding, but you don''t have to spend $$$$$ to achieve it per se. Ultimately most people open them and throw them away. And the people who do judge you based on them are going to find something to talk about regardless.

When I was looking I fell in love invitations that were going to cost over $2000 and I really loved them, I mean LOVED them...then my husband posed the following question:


''would you rather send out $2000 invitations, or send out $1000 ones a buy yourself a Gucci purse?''


well all I could reply was, ''now you''re speaking my language'' and me and my new gucci are quite happy with the results!

Well ivanadiamond, I think you just spoke in my language as well.

Its funny when somthing like that just clicks with people like us. Ding!

That is kind of the though I had, not with gucci however, but I can use the extra 1,000 to maybe get a videographer. My fiance however is saying that I should look at it this way: "we''re spending a bit over 60,000 on this wedding, would the extra $700 make that much of a difference in our budge, howeve it may make some difference with how much money people are willing to give."

 

[hoorray]

I don''t know what wording you plan to use, but when I got married 20 years ago, I went with the traditional invites with wording that my parent invited them to share in the marriage of their daughter, yadda yadda yadda. I know that is not done as often any more, but, if you are going that way, I would talk to your parents about their choice. I was surprised that this was one of the most important items to my mother (who is very unassuming) as the invitations offically were coming from her. We actually reprinted the ones I had chosen with someting that she was happier with (we got lucky -- the first ones had an error so we got a re-do at no cost.) Just another thing to think about if you are including your parents on the invitation.

I do think the invites set the tone and people keep them for at least the 6 week period between when they receive them and the event since they have all the details on them. I would never think of basing the cost of a gift on the style or fanciness of the invitation.

 

[caligal]

Kali-

First off- if you do decide to go with these invites... we must see a pic of them! Second- I''m not sure if you are speaking culturally, more likely a higher socio-economic status, but several of us are not at your level. So, take what each of us says with an understanding of our own "lens" and how we view the world. If your budget is 60K, then your invites can easily run 1K, but if it were me and the choice meant eliminating a videographer? I''d shop around and find an equally exquiste invite AND book the videographer.

 

[E B]

Date: 4/5/2006 7:54:16 PM
Author: caligal
Kali-


First off- if you do decide to go with these invites... we must see a pic of them! Second- I'm not sure if you are speaking culturally, more likely a higher socio-economic status, but several of us are not at your level. So, take what each of us says with an understanding of our own 'lens' and how we view the world. If your budget is 60K, then your invites can easily run 1K, but if it were me and the choice meant eliminating a videographer? I'd shop around and find an equally exquiste invite AND book the videographer.

Caligal's right...I didn't know your wedding was already at $60k...you're in a whole different ballpark than many of us. I guess if you're spending $60k already, $1400 for invitations isn't much at all. For a wedding like mine, which I'm keeping at around $12k (hopefully), $1400 invitations are way too much (IMO).

 

[sydneycasandra]

I spent $60 on 100 wedding invitations with plain envelopes- an extra 7 or so for printed mailing labels that match the cards. (A bright cranberry color with a tropical flower on the front, classy but a little "island-y" for our post-DW reception back here in the states).

Everyone LOVES the invitations- I get lots of compliments on them. They''re from vistaprint.com.

I think 1400 on 100 invitations is a bit extreme- I think you can get similar, less expensive, but still classy invitations that reflect you and your intended''s style and taste for less. Good luck and let us know what you pick.

 

[XChick03]

Date: 4/5/2006 8:13:32 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 4/5/2006 7:54:16 PM

Author: caligal

Kali-



First off- if you do decide to go with these invites... we must see a pic of them! Second- I'm not sure if you are speaking culturally, more likely a higher socio-economic status, but several of us are not at your level. So, take what each of us says with an understanding of our own 'lens' and how we view the world. If your budget is 60K, then your invites can easily run 1K, but if it were me and the choice meant eliminating a videographer? I'd shop around and find an equally exquiste invite AND book the videographer.

Caligal's right...I didn't know your wedding was already at $60k...you're in a whole different ballpark than many of us. I guess if you're spending $60k already, $1400 for invitations isn't much at all. For a wedding like mine, which I'm keeping at around $12k (hopefully), $1400 invitations are way too much (IMO).

Ditto. IMO, the invitations should make up a tiny fraction of the overall budget. If I had $60k to spend just on my wedding, I guess I'd feel differently about spending over $1k on invitations. I mean, that's more than my dress (hopefully.)

ETA to answer your question about the invitations conveying the formality of a wedding, IMO it doesn't have a lot to do with it. The location, attire, and several other things mean a lot more to me. I've seen very casual weddings with formal invitations and very formal weddings with just simple invitations.

 

[peonygirl]

Honestly, if you''re going to have a 60K wedding but don''t have enough in your budget for a videographer, I implore you to look more closely at your budget! I''ve never met anyone who regrets having a videoographer, but I know many people who regret *not* having one. Even if you don''t watch it that often, it''s so nice to have and it really provides a unique way to look back on your day that''s totally different from photography.

Also--and I''m not trying to be rude--but unless you''re inviting celebrities to your wedding you''ll still end up seriously in the red with a wedding of that cost. That''s almost $350 per person for gifts and only a small portion of couples will give you a $700 wedding gift. That said, as long as your parents are okay with helping you pay for it (you two are both students, right?), that''s not necessarily a bad thing.

Oh, and I do think that invitations are important, hehe. Please post pics of whatever you decide!

 

[squarediamondlove]

BTW, thank you all for responding, I really appreciate your honest opinions.

Lop - Interesting enough my FI mother finds the invites to be extemely important and doesn't mind the cost, yet my mother really doesn't see the big deal b/c she thinks its just paper and wants to spend like $300 on invites.

Caligal, EBree, Chick, and poneygirl- the problem is that the cost of the catering hall is practically the cost of the wedding - close to 40,000 - plus my parents insisted on a great band which is 6,000. Me and my FI felt that it was very imporant to have a great photographer and I didn't like any photographers I saw in the $3,000 budget that was given to it. I promised to my FI and parents that if we spend 7,000 on a photographer we wanted I wouldn't spend the money on a videographer. So that was the initial plan and now I am getting hesitant whether I made the right decision. What I mean is that I don't regret the photgrapher I got at all since we are absolutely thrilled with her work, but now am thinking that if I am spending so much on the wedding for a couple thousand more I should at least be able to capture it also on film. Vidoe and photos are all that I take away from this 60,000 dolllar day. So putting things in perspective, I now think it may be worth spending the extra$.

poneygirl - I wish I could find the invites online so it would give us some substance to work with however every time I look under the company, those specific invitations don't seem to come up - the index number by which to identify them gets skipped. Do they not have all their collections online? I'll try to see if I can do a search again to find them tomorrow.

 

[gingerBcookie]

I agree. choose the invites you like, not based on how much money ppl will give. Personally, I don''t base how much money to give someone based on their invite, for me its pretty standard based on how close I am to the persond, whether the invite was diamond encrusted or if it was a simple note inviting us to attend their wedding. If you really LOVE the expensive ones, go for it! If not, get less expensive ones and save the money, or chunk it into somewhere else in the budget that you really love.

 

[gailrmv]

Well, this might be an unpopular point of view, but I''ll say it anyway.

Don''t expect to make a profit on this wedding. You are not buying a stock; you are hosting a party. I have no idea how it goes in your social circle, but in general, people will give what they are going to give regardless of what you paid to host the wedding. Just set your budget according to what you and your fiance and the families can afford or want to spend, and make the wedding as nice as you can on that budget - without counting on the "profit" from the gifts.

With that being said, invitations were one of the splurges we made because the ones we loved were pretty expensive (still less than yours, though, I think we spent $800 for 150 of them a couple years ago.) Simple, elegant invitations can be had for a small fortune (Cranes) or for a lot less from other manufacturors. I do think the invitation sets the tone (will it be formal or casual? etc) but beyond that...

If people will not attend or not give a gift based on the cost of the invitation, what does that say about those people and would you really want them there anyways?

 

[icekid]

Date: 4/8/2006 5:40:08 PM
Author: gailrmv
Well, this might be an unpopular point of view, but I''ll say it anyway.

Don''t expect to make a profit on this wedding. You are not buying a stock; you are hosting a party. I have no idea how it goes in your social circle, but in general, people will give what they are going to give regardless of what you paid to host the wedding. Just set your budget according to what you and your fiance and the families can afford or want to spend, and make the wedding as nice as you can on that budget - without counting on the ''profit'' from the gifts.

well, your sentiment far from unpopular with me, gail. I think expecting your GUESTS to pay for their seats at the wedding is ridiculous, especially when you are having such a lavish wedding. In addition, I find trying to coerce more money out of your GUESTS with a fancy invitation is absolutely rude and condescending. A gift is supposed to come from the heart. It is not, nor should it be, required nor expected. You invite people to celebrate your day with you.

Have the wedding that you want and can afford, but don''t expect others to shell out more money because you chose an expensive wedding.