"Just Barely" Pregnant PS''ers

[missjaxon]

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Thank you LC! I have been stalking the TTC thread and quietly cheering you all on, wishing all of you lovely ladies the very best and truly hope to see you all graduate to this thread sooner than later!

 

[Jessie702]

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Aww Jessie, I just want to send you oodles of ((((hugs))))!! I am sorry you are going thru such a tough situation. I don't have any advice for you, but is it possible your SO could be shocked by the news and isn't sure how to handle it and might come around or do you feel he has made his mind up? It is such a huge change in ones life planned or otherwise and I just hope you find peace, love and support while you go thru this time. I know how you feel about exhaustion I am 6w2d and I feel like I have been a zombie just coasting thru my daily activities until I can rest. Make sure to drink lots of water and rest when you can and take care of yourself. I am keeping you in my thoughts sweetie.

Thanks, i am so glad, im not the only one tired. I just hit 5w....and im super tired. No, i think his mind is pretty much made up, its just about moving on, picking up my life, and loving my baby.
Congrats on your bundle of joy though, we will be due close together, hehe, means we can complain together.

 

[Echidna]

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Thank you all ladies. Its so bittersweet, it hurts. His reasoning for not wanting the baby, is because he is not ready. Just that, no reason, behind not being ready, besides the fact that he just wants him freedom, and the fact that i am still in school. I understand the school part, but many colleges have good resources( thats how i found out). I am going to be here on PS a lot mroe, not matter how it works out. Thank you ladies for the support and hugs.

Its early, but i wanted to deal with the reality of my situation, and went to babies r us, with a dear friend today, and almost broke down in the store. This is suppose to be joyous espessically sicne the SO and i have been together for almsot 4 years. I am so glad, she went with me, and helped me get through, i feel not much better, but a little better. I would feel a lot better if i werent so tired.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a tough start to your pregnancy, Jessie. We are here for you anytime if you need us. I wish I could relieve you of the fear and pain and worry for just a moment so you could experience some just barely pregnant joy. Be gentle with yourself (((((((hugs)))))))

 

[choro72]

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Jessie, I'm so sorry. Do your family know? Will they be supportive? You're such a strong person to make that decision.

 

[Jessie702]

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Thank you all, im trying to be strong, everyday is a little easier. I called and emailed him yesturday, and i guess hes not ready to talk, so i let it be. My family knows, i told my mother, and sister. My sister thinks im crazy, but my mother is excited, this is her first grandchild.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

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Jessie, I just wanted to give you a big hug and to let you know that if it comes to it, being a single mum is hard, but it is definitely doable and full of rewards. I was once at the point you are now (I was 20) and having my baby was the best decision I ever made. It's wonderful that you have the support of your mother and I wish you all the best.

 

[Dreamer_D]

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Jessie Congradulations about your baby! I'm sorry about this situation with your SO. I was raised by a single mom and turned out pretty well, and if you are set on having this baby, you just need to get your ducks in a row for family support. Kids have all kinds of familaies and thrive, and when the father is absent, it just means the grandparents and aunts/uncles are that much more important. And as an aside, your SO does not actually get a choice to leave and have zero responsibility or walk away completely, by law. The risk any man takes when he chooses to have sex with a woman is that a baby could result, and the woman will choose to have the baby. He took the risk, and this is the possible "consequence". I really hope he comes around, though. He is young. He could mature a lot in the next few months.

 

[Jessie702]

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Thank you all, i spoke witht he SO, and he is already packing my stuff at his house. I told him, i would think about it, but things would change, like us living together, and him being faithful. He has cheated, and im not 100% sure, he hasnt again. Ya know, what this jerk told me, To not make RULES for him. HA!, here i am, being forced to ahve an abortion, and i dont put rules on him. I never thought i would say this, but IM DONE. My heart is screaming, forget him, have your baby, he will pay, and my heart is also screaming, dont run from him.

 

[Shoopy]

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Jesse I hope it's ok to be blunt.

Your SO doesn't sound like a very good partner. I understand everyone's comments about immaturity and fear of being a new father (I had to deal with these issues with my FI when my daughter arrived) but that is very different from a partner telling you to abort and already packing up your stuff.

At the end of the day, it's your body and your choice. Should you choose not to keep the baby, do so becaue that is what you feel is best not so that you can keep a man who has shown such little regard towards your feelings. I'm very sorry you are going through this

 

[Dreamer_D]

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Bleck to the last information. Walk away from him, he is a toad. And then decide about your baby on your own terms.

 

[Jessie702]

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Thanks Ladies, that is what im leaning towards. He is showing me, he isnt a very good man, and i dont want to deal with soemone like that. You would think, through everythign we have been through, and all the support, he would be able to support me, through this.

 

[Dreamer_D]

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Thanks Ladies, that is what im leaning towards. He is showing me, he isnt a very good man, and i dont want to deal with soemone like that. You would think, through everythign we have been through, and all the support, he would be able to support me, through this.

Well, a good partner will support you. But he is showing his colors here by not reciprocating. I wish for you he had made it clear sooner or in different circumstances, but better late than never!

 

[janinegirly]

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Jessie, you've gotten great advice but I would try to take a deep breath and focus on what's most important. Concentrate on this baby and take the time to really think about the future with a baby, raising it alone and all the implications of that. Forget your BF for now - obviously he's shown himself to not be an asset in this decision so put him to the back of the queue. Number one is you and baby and your family. Take the time to reflect. While I have no doubt you can do this and be wondefully happy, I think with all the adrenaline rushing it's easy to make impulse conclusions - and you want to really be present and 100% aware so that you are at peace ulitmately with whatever you decide.

After that phase, then you can think about BF and the scum he is or the drama that will follow. Right now he is nothing but a seriously annoying distraction so try to block the drama out! Good luck and glad you've been able to at least vent here and lean on family.

 

[Dreamer_D]

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Jessie, you've gotten great advice but I would try to take a deep breath and focus on what's most important. Concentrate on this baby and take the time to really think about the future with a baby, raising it alone and all the implications of that. Forget your BF for now - obviously he's shown himself to not be an asset in this decision so put him to the back of the queue. Number one is you and baby and your family. Take the time to reflect. While I have no doubt you can do this and be wondefully happy, I think with all the adrenaline rushing it's easy to make impulse conclusions - and you want to really be present and 100% aware so that you are at peace ulitmately with whatever you decide.

After that phase, then you can think about BF and the scum he is or the drama that will follow. Right now he is nothing but a seriously annoying distraction so try to block the drama out! Good luck and glad you've been able to at least vent here and lean on family.

Excellent advice, Janine.

 

[junebug17]

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Jessie, I am so sorry your SO is behaving like this. IIRC, aren't you and your SO engaged? IMO that makes how he's acting even worse. I can appreciate him being scared and not feeling ready, but it sounds as if he is abandoning you.

I agree with other posters who are telling you to do what is best for you. Whatever you decide, make sure it's what you want, and not a decision based on trying to hold on to a relationship with a man who isn't even really there for you - at a time when you need him the most.

Hugs to you sweetie, please take care - I'll be thinking of you.

 

[Puppmom]

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Jessie, I'm so sorry your SO has disappointed you. IMHO, you're fortunate to have discovered he's a tool before marrying him. Please make this decision on your own terms. Do what is right for YOU.

I had my DD when I was 17. She's now 16 and seriously the light of our lives! It was rough being a single mom sometimes but I have a wonderful family and while DD's bio-dad is not around she is SO close with her aunts, uncles and grandparents. She's a lucky kid and we're lucky to have her!

 

[Jessie702]

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Thank you all so mcuh, and i am considering my options and have been doing some serious praying. As of last night, i have started cramping, like dull pains in the back, and a sharp stabbing pain on the left side. If they dont get any better, i will be heading to the ER, or at least the docs office at my school, Thank Goodness we have a doc office on campus. I made the mistake of emailing C, telling him whats going on, and hoping he will come around. Sadly, his reaction made me even more mad at him, why care about how im feeling now, and worry and offer to pay for me to visit a doctor, if you dont want the baby.

 

[choro72]

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Oh Jessie, what a nightmare. I'm glad that your mom is there for you. It's amazing how rock-solid maternal support is.
I am so angry at your SO. He has betrayed you, your relationship, and the commitment that comes with the ring he gave you. He has shown that "for better or for worse" means nothing to him, and yet he plays emotional games with you. Please take care of yourself. I'm looking forward to hearing relieving news about your cramps. I would train my fingers to dial "mother" from now on.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

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Ugh, I am SO angry for you Jesse! What a D-BAG! I wish you the best of luck. Regardless of what happens (though cramping, etc is totally normal early on in pregnancy), I really hope you don't go back to him. He's shown his true colors. As someone said. Better to know now than after you get married.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

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Jessie, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this. At first I thought maybe he was just unprepared and that he may start to show support when the shock wore off. Unfortunately, he's not in shock, he's just a complete jerk. The cheating, his packing your stuff and telling you not to make rules while demanding you get an abortion? You are not going to be able to make a decision about what you need to do for yourself while being subjected to that.

I would give yourself at least a few days of peace and quiet for reflection about the impact of this baby on your life. Like Janine said, this is a decision you need to make for yourself. He is out of the equation, no matter what. I fear that contact with him is only going to cause you stress and grief.

My heart goes out to you!

BB, I've been thinking about you all week. I am sending so much dust to you for tomorrow's appt.

 

[blackberry16]

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Jessie, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this. At first I thought maybe he was just unprepared and that he may start to show support when the shock wore off. Unfortunately, he's not in shock, he's just a complete jerk. The cheating, his packing your stuff and telling you not to make rules while demanding you get an abortion? You are not going to be able to make a decision about what you need to do for yourself while being subjected to that.

I would give yourself at least a few days of peace and quiet for reflection about the impact of this baby on your life. Like Janine said, this is a decision you need to make for yourself. He is out of the equation, no matter what. I fear that contact with him is only going to cause you stress and grief.

My heart goes out to you!

BB, I've been thinking about you all week. I am sending so much dust to you for tomorrow's appt.

Thanks NEL!

 

[lliang_chi]

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BB, I'm thinking about you tomorrow. Good luck tomorrow.

~LC

 

[Jessie702]

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BB- how was the appointment?

Just a quick update- i went to the doctor on the campus today. Upon his examination, he referred me to a local hospital in fear that i was having a tubal pregnancy. The only person i could call was C, luckily, he dropped what he was doing, picked me up from school( im not allowed to drive, for almost 24 hours), and took me tot he hosiptal. We were there for close to 5 hours, they got me in quickly, and did LOTS of blood work, Stole a urine sample( I didnt get to pee in a cup, they took it ), and did about 4 ultrasounds. My blood work came back as a positive pregnancy( hormone level is 3500), but the ultrasound, doesnt show much, if anything. There was a small dot in my uterus, and a small dot around my tubes. The doctor said for my hormone level, they should be able to see something on the ultrasound. I have to go abck in 2 days for blood work to check my hormone level, and than 2 days following that, i have to go for more ultrasounds and urine samples. If my hormone levels are up, and they cant find anything in the right spot, they are going to look in other places. If the level are down, they are going to say, its an early miscarriage, and im possibly carrying around just an empty sack. So thats my update, im SUPER crampy, on one side, and not as mad at C since he took me, stayed with me all day( so took a day off fo work), and paid for my deposit for the hospital bill, and will go with me for the follow ups. Yes, i know he is happy because it means, possibly no abortion, but than he is also worried about my health. My mother did come to the hospital, about 30 minutes before i left, but when she came back to my box(well room), she was one her cell phone, MOST of the time, wanted to talk about what she was doing on the phone, and than complained about the doctor not comming. She also wanted to talk about what i was going to do about my relationship with C, which is fair enough, but through everything today, i feel she should be a bit nicer to C. So thats my update.

 

[junebug17]

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Jessie, I'm glad you updated, I've been thinking about you! Sounds like you're going to have to wait it out these next few days and see how the test results come out. Please take it easy and be good to yourself. I'm really glad you're getting medical attention. I guess it's all very confusing for you right now, but at this point just take it one day at a time. Eventually you're going to have to make some decisions regarding your relationship with your SO, but for now the most pressing thing is your health and finding out what's going on with your pregnancy. Big hugs to you, you're probably feeling very overwhelmed right now. Keep us posted if you can - I'm concerned about you!

 

[blackberry16]

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Thanks for the congrats everyone! We saw a nice, strong heartbeat yesterday so we are feeling pretty confident.


Jessie: I am sorry about all you are going through, HUGS!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

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Jessie, I am sorry for your situation and hope everything is okay with your baby. But I have to say, you deserve better than this guy has treated you. You have seen that he did not love you unconditionally, and I cannot see going back with him under any circumstances considering he has not only cheated but tried to force you to have an abortion. If I was your mom (and i have kids your age), I would NOT be nice to him, either, and I would not be supportive of the relationship continuing. I would, however, do whatever was needed to help my daughter in regards to the baby. Take care. Praying for you!

 

[Jessie702]

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Thank you all for the care and support. I continue to cramp, and hate it, but not much i can do until i see the Doc on monday. My mom keeps saying cramping during your first pregnancy is normal, but it doesnt feel normal, also how normal is to have positive pregnancy test, and negative ultrasound for 6 weeks? I dont know, but im trying not to deal on it too long. Now for as far as the relationship, he is getting one last chance, and he knows that, and if he messes up than im all done. Stupid me, believes in second chances, and this is is second chance. I told him, i NEED MORE, and if i dont get more, and he isnt supportive, he can take everything and shove it. Thank you again, it means a lot to me.

 

[iheartscience]

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Thank you all for the care and support. I continue to cramp, and hate it, but not much i can do until i see the Doc on monday. My mom keeps saying cramping during your first pregnancy is normal, but it doesnt feel normal, also how normal is to have positive pregnancy test, and negative ultrasound for 6 weeks? I dont know, but im trying not to deal on it too long. Now for as far as the relationship, he is getting one last chance, and he knows that, and if he messes up than im all done. Stupid me, believes in second chances, and this is is second chance. I told him, i NEED MORE, and if i dont get more, and he isnt supportive, he can take everything and shove it. Thank you again, it means a lot to me.

I hope everything works out for you health-wise, but I have to ditto diamondseeker. It's beyond nuts for you to get back together with this guy after he cheated on you and then kicked you out of the house because you refused to get an abortion. What would you tell a sister, friend or daughter if they were in your situation? Good luck to you...with this guy, you're going to need it.

 

[janinegirly]

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Thank you all for the care and support. I continue to cramp, and hate it, but not much i can do until i see the Doc on monday. My mom keeps saying cramping during your first pregnancy is normal, but it doesnt feel normal, also how normal is to have positive pregnancy test, and negative ultrasound for 6 weeks? I dont know, but im trying not to deal on it too long. Now for as far as the relationship, he is getting one last chance, and he knows that, and if he messes up than im all done. Stupid me, believes in second chances, and this is is second chance. I told him, i NEED MORE, and if i dont get more, and he isnt supportive, he can take everything and shove it. Thank you again, it means a lot to me.

I hope everything works out for you health-wise, but I have to ditto diamondseeker. It's beyond nuts for you to get back together with this guy after he cheated on you and then kicked you out of the house because you refused to get an abortion. What would you tell a sister, friend or daughter if they were in your situation? Good luck to you...with this guy, you're going to need it.

Agree! This guy now sees he doesn't have to do much to get back on your good side. And what if (hopefully) everthing is ok with the pregnancy - have you discussed that? Eeek.

 

[shihtzulover]

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Thank you all for the care and support. I continue to cramp, and hate it, but not much i can do until i see the Doc on monday. My mom keeps saying cramping during your first pregnancy is normal, but it doesnt feel normal, also how normal is to have positive pregnancy test, and negative ultrasound for 6 weeks? I dont know, but im trying not to deal on it too long. Now for as far as the relationship, he is getting one last chance, and he knows that, and if he messes up than im all done. Stupid me, believes in second chances, and this is is second chance. I told him, i NEED MORE, and if i dont get more, and he isnt supportive, he can take everything and shove it. Thank you again, it means a lot to me.

I hope everything works out for you health-wise, but I have to ditto diamondseeker. It's beyond nuts for you to get back together with this guy after he cheated on you and then kicked you out of the house because you refused to get an abortion. What would you tell a sister, friend or daughter if they were in your situation? Good luck to you...with this guy, you're going to need it.

Agree! This guy now sees he doesn't have to do much to get back on your good side. And what if (hopefully) everthing is ok with the pregnancy - have you discussed that? Eeek.

I have to agree, too. Is it possible that he suddenly 'cares' now because he believes that there is a good chance that the pregnancy is not viable? It's just really odd to me that he suddenly started to act like he cares when it seemed like something was wrong.

I know that it's so hard to see things when you're in the actual situation, but this man has shown you his true personality, and that he isn't a good boyfriend/fiance/future husband/father of your future child. You already gave him another chance when he cheated on you (which I honestly probably couldn't have done), and he blew it with this. I'm not trying to sound really harsh or mean, but honestly, I think that you can do so much better than him. His behavior is just unforgivable and unacceptable.

I hope that you find out more answers today about your pregnancy. I wish you the best of luck, and I know that you are strong enough to move on, because you deserve better than this man!