Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Ladies, when does it end?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Stephanie I am so glad you chimed in!!!

It's VERY hard when you only have one side of the story and let's face it...MEN are not the best at communicating details, crucial details that women are always looking for. So I kind of had a feeling that while we were getting Steve's version of the story in 'boy terms'...there was alot more we were not hearing or missing out on and when that happens, people just tend to 'fill in the gaps' with their own imagination. And us PS'ers are surely imaginative!!

I love your idea of buying the setting and him the stone. The way you described it and how the wedding is almost already planned...using a bit of the wedding money if it's going to be there 'regardless' and you will have leftover anyway, may make some sense...maybe you can up the budget for the stone to more like $9k or so and get closer to a 1.3c or similar and then buy the Tacori setting on your own? Just a thought.

I was raised kind of spoiled too, accustomed to having what I want even if I have to get it myself (I figure life is short!), and my husband rolls his eyes to the heavens many a time and says 'thanks FIL'...hehee...and compromise can be hard in a marriage but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders (a much better head than Steve made it sound like, bad Steve!!), so please keep us posted!!
 
OK so you ARE closer to #2 on my little spectrum... or maybe just your own category #3.
31.gif
Glad you posted, Stephanie... I'm sorry that you weren't able to salvage your grandmother's ring... is there any way of saving part of it to make into a RHR or something else? As for the current debate, I plan on contributing to my e-ring setting as well, because I liked the idea of 1.5ct and that was the easiest way to make our budget work and still get the ring I'd dreamt of. I also come from a family where my father has worked hard to build a series of businesses, which have paid for my education (undergrad and grad), living expenses, vacations and future wedding, amongst other things over the years. Interesting side-effect -- I've become so hyper-sensitive to being labeled as spoiled that now-adays I tend to be stingier about money that other people. Regardless, congrats on your upcoming engagement... hope you'll stick around and post pix when the ring is chosen at last!

ETA: Mara makes a great point about "boy terms" in telling only one side of the story! But don't be too hard on "Steve"... I have a feeling Pricescope is the bane of many a future-fiance's existence... and I'm sure the poor guy has now learned to be very careful when venting his frustrations in public...
11.gif
 
Stephanie,
so glad you posted and shame on steve for leaving out some very important details
2.gif
Sounds like you guys were able to talk and find some common ground which is wonderful. Please share with us pics of your ring once you get it. I love Tacori''s and I''m sure it will be gorgeous.
 
Hi, Stephanie-

Thanks for posting about yourself. Now that both you and "Steve" are here, maybe we can all follow along with your wedding planning!

Welcome!

Deb
34.gif
 
Hi Stephanie,

WELCOME! Hope ya don''t let a little "unintetionally insulting pre-judgement" get in the way of lasting Pricescope LOVE!

OOooof. The loss of the 1.44 family stone must have hit you a lot harder than Steve! That''s so SAD! And I can TOTALLY see how the "bar" got set there in your mind (I would have thought the same thing! ... maybe even a little upgrade to ease the pain! Darnnit!)

Glad to hear you guys are talking/negotiating/working things out. Exactly what most couples these days seem to be doing re: the e-ring. Especially since more experienced/professional/Type A brides like to have a say!! And have some pretty strong opinions about it.

Hope you''ll keep us posted with "your side" too & your future e-ring!! (and upgrades
31.gif
)!!!
 
while i know this is/was a serious matter, i''m still LOL! again, the male perception v. female perception of the situation....and there certainly were some glaring ommissions in ''his'' story. however, the sensible solution is wonderful and the compromise to not mention upgrade until the first anniversary was definitely a smart bargaining tool. all in all evidence of a good foundation for marriage. congratulations to you both.

movie zombie
 
LOL!

Stephanie, I knew you weren''t a brat! We have similar backgrounds & I had a feeling your hubby-to-be was leaving out some details.
31.gif


Congratulations on your engagement!!!!!!

I''m sure your ring will be lovely & please don''t forget to post pics for us to admire!

Hey, if anything -- this is a great learning experience for you both. I''m sure you''ll be a closer couple from this little example.
 
Oh boy, Steve did leave out some very important details. Shame on him, but agree with Mara it's a boy thing. I'm so sorry about your grandmother's diamond Stephanie. That is indeed a very sad story. I think you have a very level head on your shoulders. I think you paying for the setting is a great idea. I look forward to hearing all about your wedding planning, the ring etc... So happy to have your perspective on things. Funny how guy's minds work. I have been married for almost 20 years, and hubbie's take on things is still different than mine!!! LOL!! Anyway, welcome to PS!!!
35.gif
 
Yay! I was right on this one!!!

Stephanie, did you see my post where I said I am returning a 1.44 ct. H VS2 hearts and arrows ($9600.) to Dimend Scaasi this week? I almost fell over when I saw that was the exact weight of your grandmothers diamond!!! If you are at all interested, I can attach the pics. I am sure you know that ideal cut stones are whiter face up than other diamonds, so if you could consider an H, it would be a great stone at what I think is a very good price (and yes, I think it's just fine to add a little to the $6000).
 
Stephanie -- care to share which Tacori setting you have in mind?
31.gif
I have a Tacori e-ring too, I love it. Of course, feel free to start your own thread in RockyTalky!!!
 
Stephanie, it was brave but smart for you to come on and clarify things. Men tend to leave out vital facts and see things from the Martian perspective. I am sorry you lost your stone to damage...was it insured by any chance, or can you put it through your home owner''s so you can recoup something?

I totally see your view and empathize that you have to work harder to avoid nepotism comments and people assuming you have gotten something special because of your dad. My dad was also successful financially as a doctor and had medical device patents and real estate (office buildings in an expensive area where his practice was)...I sort of took certain things for granted and had what my dh calls "big expectations", which he blames my parents for starting and continuing to this day (my mom, since y dad passed away). You cannot help what you are used to having and what you like, and though it is easy for us to judge (I am guilty too based on the one sided posts, though clearly he meant well, and seems like a really neat guy)....as long as you guys end up on the same page then I think you are fine. I upgraded twice and now have a large stone, it will be my last, but it is pretty amazing and I never thought I would have it, so take time, enjoy your wonderful guy and things will come to you in time!!! Good luck and keep us informed.
 
Stephanie:

Thank you for posting. It clears things up a bit.

One thing I do suggest though out of this - is that you and "steve" sit down and do some serious budget planning. Feel free to use my starter list of things to consider (it is not totally complete - but will have most of the major items on it).

If at the end of that - you find that you as a couple have the money available: go ahead and get a nice size ring.


Whatever - I believe that it will be an education for both of you - and a really good way to start off a marriage on.

Best wishes.

Perry
 
Stephanie...

Any chance your Grandmother''s ring was insured?

Another thought...Steve''s 6K would buy a beautiful Tacori engagement/wedding set that you could keep for a lifetime...and you could possibly provide the stone and then if you could upgrade "your" stone as much as you wanted guilt-freeish and still be keeping the original setting from your Fiance!?

Just a thought!
 
Stephanie, I apologize. The additional information of your search for a ''replacement diamond'' for your grandmother''s ruined stone (and I flinch to think of how heartbreaking it would be lose a family heirloom like that) makes everything fall into place.

I don''t think was unreasonable for you to expect that the replacement would be the same as your grandmother''s stone-- after all, if I was driving a new car and someone hit me and totalled it, and someone consoled me with a promise to buy a replacement, I''d be very shocked if they turned up with an old beater when I was expecting the same make & model.

I think your compromise of his diamond and your setting is an elegant one. That way, the ring is a combination of both of you, and all the more symbolic for it. I also apologize for leaping to conclusions; I work at (and attend) at the Canadian equivalent of MIT, so there are a _lot_ of extremely rich exchange students who compete in the most disgusting displays of one-upmanship you have ever seen. They leave their top-of-the-line laptops lying around carelessly, because if someone steals it, mom and dad will just buy them a new one. If anything is expensive and shows off status, they have it, regardless if it is tasteful. I know far too many girls who are as much the snobbish brat as you could have been, but aren''t. The very fact that you bought a used Vera Wang proves that although you appreciate ''fine'' things, you aren''t buying things for the bragging rights. The girls I know would be saying it was "Vera Wang. (insert cost here)".

My condolences on the loss of your grandmother''s ring. I hope you''ll post pictires of your ring when you get it.
 
Stephanie. I think it''s awesome that you came and gave your side of the story. I know, personally, I would''ve been pretty intimidated by the 4 pages of posts...but the details you provided really helped flesh out your guys'' situation.

Hmm, don''t be too hard on Steve...most boys just don''t understand girls'' obsession with diamonds...I know my husband doesn''t... It sounds like you guys have compromised and in the end, your e-ring will be really beautiful. And remember, besides the e-ring, there''s always the wedding band...! Like you said, couples always factor the cost of the wedding bands into the total wedding budget. Sounds like you''re being pretty cost-conscious with the wedding overall, so maybe splurging on a blingy wedding band can be arranged...?

I still think that you should think about getting your e-ring stone from one of the vendors who has a really good upgrade policy. That way, you can get something bigger when you''re ready to upgrade.
2.gif
 
Stephanie, thank you so much for posting. It always helps A LOT to get both sides to a story.

I like the idea of Steve buying the stone and you buying the setting you want, but I think Tawn is on to a great idea here. What about Steve buying the Tacori setting and you taking care of the diamond? (Make sure that Tacori has a head that can fit a larger stone in the future - LOL!)
 
Stephanie,

Welcome to pricescope, and I''m so sorry to hear about your grandmother''s diamond. What a shame. Perhaps it can be salvaged for a pendant or right hand ring? Anyway, since you were originally intending to use an heirloom diamond, what about shopping for an antique diamond for your Tacori setting? I''m no expert on diamonds, but others here know of sources for them (Fay Cullen might be one) and although it wouldn''t be grandmother''s diamond, it might be similar.

It sounds like you guys are talking through and resolving the diamond debate. I hope you all keep us in the loop -- we''d love to see what you get and want hand shots of course.
 
It sounds like you aren''t in la-la land after all.
9.gif


I''m glad that you were able to resolve the ring issue.
 
Date: 5/22/2006 7:31:30 PM
Author: KristyDarling
Stephanie -- care to share which Tacori setting you have in mind?
31.gif
I have a Tacori e-ring too, I love it. Of course, feel free to start your own thread in RockyTalky!!!
Click to expand...

I was thinking the same thing!
 
Thanks, Selkie -- I remember that thread! Stephanie, are you still planning to go with the first Tacori you posted in that thread? LOVE the sapphires. It was kinda sad reading that old thread and seeing how excited you were about using your grandmother''s diamond. I like the others'' idea of looking into having it re-cut and then set as a pendant or a ring.
 
Stephanie welcome and I hope you don''t think we were too hard on you!!! This thread has sparked some varied opinions for sure, but I think the idea that Steve pays for the diamond and you pay for the setting is a great one! That way Steve still will be able to gift you with the diamond himself ( this stuff is important to some guys!) and you will get the ring you love. It would be great if you would stick around and show us pics when you get the ring please!!!!!
 
Hi again everyone!

Don''t be too hard on "Steve". And for the record, his real name is Jeff! He''s a guy and doesn''t understand women''s obsessions with diamonds and jewelry. His own mom, who by the way does understand my obession
1.gif
, doesn''t know what rock (no pun intended!) Jeff has been hiding under sometimes when it comes to jewelry.

I gave him hell for leaving out the most important detail of me not being able to use my grandmother''s diamond in his first post. I think that is why so many people were quick to judge me. He apologized and said if he did put it in his first post, then I would have for sure known it was him posting. I can buy that.

Unfortunately, my grandmother''s ring was not insured. It had been sitting in my mom''s safety deposit box for years so she figured it was safe there, and I don''t think any of us realized that something could be wrong with the diamond itself. I am going to talk to the jeweler again about the possibility of having it recut. He mentioned a lot of weight would be loss but he is not a diamond cutter so that was a guess on his part. He also mentioned it might be better to have it cut into 2 separate smaller diamonds and make a pair of earings out of it. I have been so busy with school that I haven''t had the chance to pursue it yet.

Ephemery1 -- I think I am a lot like you in that sometimes I am hyper-sensitive about my background and am stingy! I once went a whole year without buying a new purse!
2.gif


Tawn -- I like the idea of possibly having Jeff pay for the setting, or putting the majority of his $6,000 budget toward the setting, and some toward the diamond and have me pay for the rest of the diamond. That way if I ever do upgrade, I would still have the original setting. I have a few weeks off before school starts again so I will go back to the jeweler and make sure that a bigger head can fit into that setting. I thought he said it could when I asked him about it a couple of months ago. Oh, and yes, it is the same Tacori setting from my thread in February, the first one with the sapphires. There is a Fay Cullen one that is similar, and almost the same price as the Tacori one, but I like the Tacori one a bit better and am going with it despite the problems people have had. I am going to have Tacori put some engraving on the sides and bottom like the Fay Cullen one. I will just have to keep my fingers crossed that all goes well.

Diamondseeker2006 -- I didn''t see that you are returning that 1.44ct diamond! I had seen that you were looking for something else but didn''t realize that for sure you didn''t like the H. That''s so ironic that it is the same size as my grandmother''s diamond! I had originally thought of getting an OEC or an OMC in that same size to have the same look as my grandmother''s diamond, but after seeing some ideal cuts in person, I was a convert and now I do want an ideal cut. I hate to say that I am super sensitive to color so I would have to make sure an H is not going to bother me. I am willing to drop on the clarity and would do that before dropping on the color but I guess I am a snob and have that whole "mind clean" idea. My grandmother''s diamond was either an E or F according to my jeweler and my original thought was not going below a G, but I know something like a G, SI combo is sometimes hard to find. If Jeff is OK with me contributing more money to the ring, maybe the diamond you had is a possibility.
1.gif


I talked to Jeff again last night and his feelings on needing to "provide" this ring for me. I reminded him that we were going to use my grandmother''s diamond and he didn''t feel back then that he had to "provide" me a really expensive ring. He said he could understand my disappointment in not using the diamond I inherited but he says he feels better about us getting our own ring. As I said, I will mention Tawn''s idea too and see what he thinks.

Jeff is a great guy and I wouldn''t be marrying him if I didn''t think so. I think he is just a typical guy and doesn''t realize that some things that are important to women are not that important to men.

Here is a picture of the Tacori setting I will be getting, as long as the head can be changed out for a bigger diamond in the future.
31.gif


BA4223-TACbz.jpg
 
Oh Stephanie,
I love that setting. It''s just stunning!!!
30.gif
30.gif
 
Date: 5/23/2006 9:26:39 AM
Author: kaleigh
Oh Stephanie,

I love that setting. It''s just stunning!!!
30.gif
30.gif
Click to expand...

me too. and I think Tacori can change out the head for a larger stone when needed. I know Laney just sent her rings back to Tacori when she needed a larger head for her new stone.
 
I''m glad it sounds like this is all working out for you. Good luck on finding a diamond. If money had been no object, I think that Tacori setting would have been my top choice for my e-ring.
 
That is a beautiful, vintagey setting. You have great taste, Stephanie!
 
Hi Stephanie,

I have just read your post....I am really sorry if any of our comments have hurt or offended you. There is always two sides to every story!

Sometimes people just post to vent ! We always try to empathise, but of course we don''t know the people involved or all the details!

Hope you''ll keep posting...cos we''d love to see the finished ring!

Sincerely.....Blod
 
Stephanie, that was the first setting I look at! Have you tried it on? My Tacori has a custom head so anything is possible.
 
Ah ha! It sure makes a lot more sense now!

Hey, I bet you two are going to iron it all out and this whole thing will benefit you down the road. You''ll really know where you stand with each other if you ever get the urge for an upgrade!

I am a big fan of the separate accounts for play money.
We do that, too and it''s fun to cheer each other on when we shop for toys.

yay for you (and "steve")
36.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top