Ladies, would YOU be willing...

[Elegant]

to spend the same amount of money your man is spending on your ring, for an engagement gift/ring for him?

For the exact same amount out of money out of your pocket or a mutual account?

Or if it was a mutual account, would you spend the money equally? For example, you want a $10,000 engagement ring, so you have to spend $10,000 on his engagement ring/gift....

 

[blondebunny]

yep I would but he would never let me.. although he''d like a certain 5k watch

 

[bobbin]

Well, I only want to spend about $1500 max on my ring, and I plan on paying for some of it (although we have recently pooled our finances so it is our joint money anyway).

I would be willing to spend that much on a gift for him if he would wish it, as long as it had similar emotional significance- ie if it was for an engagement gift or wedding gift for him then I would be fine with it.

 

[Bliss]

Yes, yes and YES!

It's our money anyway... DH likes to say, "It's like transferring money from your left pocket to your right pocket. Doesn't matter. Same money."

 

[FrekeChild]

Yeah. But he''d FREAK OUT and make me take it back. If I buy any one thing for his birthday or something, that''s more than $100 he gets irritated and wants me to take it back.

So...Yes, but he wouldn''t want it.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

On a watch or nice piece of meaningful something or other that can be treasured by children when we''re gone? YES! On a brand new grill and flat screen tv? NO!!! haha. I intend on buying him a very nice watch and a set of cuff links/button covers for his navy dress mess (uniform) at some point in the engagement process. Not sure which gift will come first.


I have no idea if the money spent will turn out equal or not, but I don''t think that is really important. Money spent doesn''t always need to be equal in order to be fair. My parents spent more money on my dance team stuff than they did on my sisters'' choir stuff when we were growing up. They also received trips to Europe because they happened to have the opportunity to go, while I never received that trip. I got a new car in high school. My little sister''s didn''t come until she left for college. It just worked out that way. Money was never spent equally (except my mom tried really hard to make it equal at Christmas) but I don''t think any of it was unfair.


My point is that money doesn''t have to be equal to be fair, AND the gifts aren''t about the money spent. They''re just about giving an appropriate gift!

 

[trillionaire]

Yes, I absolutely would, I LOVE giving gifts, however, you probably would want to scale the question to something that is proportional.

I am a student making less than 15K a year, SO makes, I don''t even know, but I am guessing 5x as much? So the same amount would take a lot longer than say, 2 mos salary, you know what I mean?

I would love to be the position to give my SO an extravagant gift, like an engagement trip to an exotic place, or a new motorcycle! Or an engagement 60in TV!

 

[Deelight]

On a ring? heck no because he would not wear it and thus would be a complete waste of money.

On one gift probably not however I would have no issues getting him multiple items off his dream list and make him happier then a pig in mud forever .

 

[Bliss]

Deelight! Pig in the mud!!!!!

Hahahahahaha! I love it! I am SO borrowing that phrase!

 

[Circe]

Not a LIW, but ... willing? YEP! Was I able? Well, no. We have a 5-year age disparity between us, and I''m in the humanities while he''s in the sciences. It pains me to say it, but we have a fairly conventional gender-split between us. In many ways, the whole e-ring tradition is part of a broader social cycle - one that I look forward to disrupting, but one that I wasn''t quite in the position to struggle against at the time.

When we got engaged, I got (well, made) him an e-ring all his very own that didn''t approach mine in fiduciary value, but which I hope touched on it in sentimental value. Since then, I''ve finished grad. school and gotten a good job. By the time I''m the age that he was when we got engaged - right around our 5 year anniversary - I''m hoping that I''ll be able to get him something equally extravagant. Hell, I''m saving right now ....

 

[supergirl10]

well we aren't spending that much anyway maybe 2-4k (well compared to most people). And unfortunately when we spend the money for ring we will be paying it off for a while. But i fully intend on getting him a man-gagement ring to commemorate the occasion.

 

[LaraOnline]

My man pretty much makes most of the big financial decisions around here.
I would love to spend that much on him, (and he does talk about buying a boat, or something similar) but sadly, since becoming a mum, I find I''m somehow ''excluded'' from key economic decision time... meetings with bank managers, stuff like that (''someone has to mind the kids...)
So big decisions, like buying cars, business equipment - everything really - pretty much comes down to him.
Which is a shame. Because I think I''m better with money! Sheesh!

As for engagement rings, I think it''s nice to spend a bit on them...it''s a symbol of a man''s ability and willingness to care for you, isn''t it? A woman with a pretty (coughs *big* coughs) engagement ring always looks appreciated and loved...

A man in flashy jewellery, however, just looks wealthy (or fun to be with lol) ...
I''m afraid my man would fall into the philistine ''flat-TV-engagement-present'' variety...

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/18/2008 2:26:10 AM
Author: Bliss
Deelight! Pig in the mud!!!!!

Hahahahahaha! I love it! I am SO borrowing that phrase!

We also have a British version of that with a pig being happy in rather a different substance, as I am sure Miss Dee is being her usual polite self she used the other version....

I was actually cuddling two real live pigs last night as a matter of fact....

* sorry for the threadjack....*

But back on topic, I agree that it is a great thing for a fiance to get a nice gift too!

 

[bee*]

Date: 7/18/2008 1:52:12 AM
Author: Deelight
On a ring? heck no because he would not wear it and thus would be a complete waste of money.


On one gift probably not however I would have no issues getting him multiple items off his dream list and make him happier then a pig in mud forever .

I''m the same-D would never wear a ring. I''ve been trying to get D lots of little engagement presents but he''s so fussy that he hasn''t got anything yet! We''ve been looking for a watch for him for the past nine months!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/18/2008 5:44:29 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 7/18/2008 2:26:10 AM

Author: Bliss

Deelight! Pig in the mud!!!!!


Hahahahahaha! I love it! I am SO borrowing that phrase!

We also have a British version of that with a pig being happy in rather a different substance, as I am sure Miss Dee is being her usual polite self she used the other version....

I was actually cuddling two real live pigs last night as a matter of fact....

* sorry for the threadjack....*

But back on topic, I agree that it is a great thing for a fiance to get a nice gift too!

Bliss By all means , it is a very old saying around these parts

Hehehehe Lorelei I have heard that one as well LOL I think I will stick with the PG 13 version lest I corrupt anyone

. I can't believe you got to cuddle piggies I am so jealous, I want to come live with you, kitties, chickens and piggies I would be in heaven

.

Bee It took me forever to find FF a watch he liked and he barely wears it as he is worried about scuffing it up

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/18/2008 6:05:49 AM
Author: Deelight

Date: 7/18/2008 5:44:29 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 7/18/2008 2:26:10 AM

Author: Bliss

Deelight! Pig in the mud!!!!!


Hahahahahaha! I love it! I am SO borrowing that phrase!

We also have a British version of that with a pig being happy in rather a different substance, as I am sure Miss Dee is being her usual polite self she used the other version....

I was actually cuddling two real live pigs last night as a matter of fact....

* sorry for the threadjack....*

But back on topic, I agree that it is a great thing for a fiance to get a nice gift too!

Bliss By all means , it is a very old saying around these parts

Hehehehe Lorelei I have heard that one as well LOL I think I will stick with the PG 13 version lest I corrupt anyone

. I can't believe you got to cuddle piggies I am so jealous, I want to come live with you, kitties, chickens and piggies I would be in heaven

.

Bee It took me forever to find FF a watch he liked and he barely wears it as he is worried about scuffing it up

Alas the piggies are not mine ( although that situation MAY change in the future

), they are two Kune Kune piggies owned by some friends! They are adorable!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/18/2008 6:22:54 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 7/18/2008 6:05:49 AM

Author: Deelight

Date: 7/18/2008 5:44:29 AM

Author: Lorelei

Date: 7/18/2008 2:26:10 AM


Author: Bliss


Deelight! Pig in the mud!!!!!



Hahahahahaha! I love it! I am SO borrowing that phrase!

We also have a British version of that with a pig being happy in rather a different substance, as I am sure Miss Dee is being her usual polite self she used the other version....

I was actually cuddling two real live pigs last night as a matter of fact....

* sorry for the threadjack....*

But back on topic, I agree that it is a great thing for a fiance to get a nice gift too!

Bliss By all means , it is a very old saying around these parts


Hehehehe Lorelei I have heard that one as well LOL I think I will stick with the PG 13 version lest I corrupt anyone

. I can''t believe you got to cuddle piggies I am so jealous, I want to come live with you, kitties, chickens and piggies I would be in heaven

.


Bee It took me forever to find FF a watch he liked and he barely wears it as he is worried about scuffing it up

Alas the piggies are not mine ( although that situation MAY change in the future

), they are two Kune Kune piggies owned by some friends! They are adorable!

OMG I just googgled them they are so cute, I want one but I don''t think the neighbours will approve somehow. I hope you get some in the future they look adorable .

My sister had a pet piggy when she was little she trained it and looked after it and loved it named it Wilbur, unfortunately our dad had different plans for the pig

. She came home from school and well I guess you can work out the rest, she didn''t speak to our dad for a year.

 

[allycat0303]

Well my fiancé doesn''t really desire anything that expensive. I''m of the saying that if something is going to last you forever, you splurge. I asked him if he wanted a really fancy watch, and he laughed at me. He told me he doesn`t wear watches. If he wanted a really expensive wedding band, then I would buy it for him.

So my answer is YES. But only if he has to wear the thing everyday for a LONG time. HD televisions need not apply (although I did buy him that as an engagement present, but it didn`t cost as much as my ring)

 

[Lorelei]

"My sister had a pet piggy when she was little she trained it and looked after it and loved it named it Wilbur, unfortunately our dad had different plans for the pig . She came home from school and well I guess you can work out the rest, she didn''t speak to our dad for a year. "

 

[HeadOverHeels4James]

I would LOVE to buy him something over equal value! He would be very upset with me! He gets pissed if I buy him bday or xmas presents.

 

[lala2332]

I def. want to get the BF a nice engagement present, but I doubt it will be possible to spend the same amount. Plus we will be putting down my savings for a downpayment on a house. So I guess my "gift" will be bigger.

I don''t think it matters though. I would imagine that most men want to buy a nice E-ring and take pride in being able to spend X-amount of $s on it.

 

[Lauren8211]

My situation is a bit different because my BF only has to buy a setting, and I will get him a nice Movado watch that is approximately equivalen to what he''ll probably spend on a setting. But for argument''s sake we''ll assume that he has to buy the diamond AND the setting.

Would I be willing? Yes. Is it feasible? I don''t know. Definitely later down the line, but right now he makes twice what I do, and after I go back to school this fall, I won''t even have a job.

 

[Anna0499]

I would definitely be willing to spend the same amount on an engagement ring/gift for my SO as he will for me...as long as it''s something he will accept and appreciate like I will my ering. I don''t believe in combining finances before marriage, so the gift would come from me rather than any of his money being spent on himself.

P.S. I think it''s a good thing that many of these LIWs are not the ones expected to propose because we would have lots of men-in-waiting for quite some time!

 

[absolut_blonde]

SO and I don't keep track of things like that. We would simply never think oh, the ring was 10k (for example) so now he gets a 10k present too. Not to say I'm opposed to spending a lot on him, because I love spoilling him

I WILL be getting him an engagement present, but what that specificially is and how much it costs depends on when he proposes and what the rest of our finances look like. He'd never feel comfortable with me spending as much on him, though (weird double standard, I know).

 

[fieryred33143]

I don''t know about using the words "have to" spend the equal amount. I would get him a gift that he really wants/needs and if it comes out to more or less than my ring then so be it. It just so happens that I wll spend very close to the amount he spent on me but that''s because he desperately needs a new car. He just spent money on my ring so he doesn''t have the down he needs for the car so I''m paying for the taxes, fees (and secretly upgrading to get the sports edition that he really wants).

When it comes to money he and I have always been very generous with each other. We have the same spending habits in that we hardly ever spend outside of things needed for the house but we LOVE to give gifts.

 

[Elegant]

Playing devil''s advocate

, some of you say that "he" wouldn''t let you spend that much cash on him, but why are "we" allowing them to spend so much on us? Why are "we" so accepting of his wishes to not spend money on him?

I ask this because I have been with my bf for 15 years and for some reason, I have been wanting a ring

and the ones I am looking at are a bit much...we have joint accounts so it would basically be like I am spending my own money anyways, but I was also thinking yeah, if I buy an anniversary ring, it would be nice to get him something too - he HATES jewelry.

 

[jcarlylew]

Yes - But not on jewelry. He wants an electronic drum set. I say that a ring fits MUCH better in a tiny 1bdrm apt than a new drum set

I plan on spending about 500 for his ring. that is if i can get the right size.


also, he doesnt wear jewelry of any sort. so maybe a gift would be to buy his plan ticket to the carribian when we go next year. or buy him a case of rum *jk!*

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/18/2008 12:27:17 PM
Author: Elegant
Playing devil''s advocate

, some of you say that ''he'' wouldn''t let you spend that much cash on him, but why are ''we'' allowing them to spend so much on us? Why are ''we'' so accepting of his wishes to not spend money on him?

I ask this because I have been with my bf for 15 years and for some reason, I have been wanting a ring

and the ones I am looking at are a bit much...we have joint accounts so it would basically be like I am spending my own money anyways, but I was also thinking yeah, if I buy an anniversary ring, it would be nice to get him something too - he HATES jewelry.

I suspect that it''s partly an EGO issue for men & an assumption that many women make as well...just because your SO *said* you didn''t have to get him anything doesn''t mean he wouldn''t be completely thrilled and appreciative of a gift. A few thousand dollar gift is much different than the typical birthday or anniversary gift that are probably bought by women and "refused" by men. I''m sure that if the men asked their GFs if they would like a gift costing $XXXXX many would say no because it is so much money, but would they be thrilled if they were given a ring costing that much or make him return it? I think the majority would keep it... I would absolutely spend as much money on my SO as he would for my ering, but I would want it to be something that would be as close to as treasured by him as my ering will be to me.

 

[Elegant]

I agree - a sentimental gift...

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 7/18/2008 12:27:17 PM
Author: Elegant
Playing devil''s advocate

, some of you say that ''he'' wouldn''t let you spend that much cash on him, but why are ''we'' allowing them to spend so much on us? Why are ''we'' so accepting of his wishes to not spend money on him?

Touche!

As for the question, the wband my husband chose was the most expensive one he could have selected for his wband. It was the only one that made him giddy when he put it on and I happily forked over several thousand dollars for it. It made him as happy as my ring made me when I found it and put it on. And his happiness makes me happy so it was a no brainer.