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Let’s Get Real - Topic about Big Ol’ Diamonds

RetroQT

RetroQT

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 14, 2018
Messages
732
Preface: This is not directed toward anyone. This is not about individuals. This is merely an open discussion about emotions and how what we see can impact our thinking.

While I look at all the posts on here of absolutely stunning jewelry, I find myself experiencing a lot of emotions. I see these gorgeous 3ct, 4ct, 5ct+ diamonds on the hands of our amazing ladies and I notice I start feeling like I want to find one of my own. I want to start searching for something I know I don’t need. (In fact I have a jewelry box full of “don’t needs” right now.) My mind then runs scenarios of how I would pay for a 4ct OEC, what color metal I’d want it in, and who would I go to for the setting. And while all that is fun and I love to look at jewelry, I realize I if I am not content with the beautiful pieces I have now, would I truly be content with the next one?

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else finds that their mind wonders like this too?
 
It did until I got a 3 ct diamond and then I realized it was just entirely too big and I felt super self conscious. Now I’m thinking 2.25ish cts for a MRB would be perfectly fine. Still big but not in a “hey, come rob me” kinda way.
 
I completely understand and thank you for making me feel normal for daydreaming about trading it all in for a larger diamond. Based on all the big and beautiful diamonds I see on PS, I want something bigger and simpler.

I always have prioritized cut and quality over size. Based on our budget, I have a 1.75 ct round near colorless brilliant set in a Danhov halo setting. The ring looks closer to a 2.5 ct set that way. While it’s a beautiful ring, I hardly wear it anymore. Too much bling for my simplified lifestyle.

But if money wasn’t an issue, I would have no problem wearing a 2.50-2.75 ct transitional cut diamond set in a simple metal halo. I have short 6.5 fingers and anything bigger just wouldn’t look good on my hand.
 
It’s funny, I don’t know the answer to this. I’m in the “I’m going to trade what I have in for something bigger” phase

So I guess after I’ve had that bigger stone for bit, maybe I’ll have a better sense. I had a 2 carat early MRB and I hated it and thought it was too big but I think I conspicuously disliked it so much that the size just…made me notice it more! :roll:

I also think that different pieces have different flavors and scratch different itches. I love the icy whiteness of my soon-to-be-former OEC, but then seeing a bunch of colorless antique stones side-by-side with LARGE, lower colored stones made me realize that although I like colorless…I looooove pale yellow and I want to see the facets clearly (and size affords that)

Maybe it’s novelty, maybe it’s my true heart’s desire, it’s hard to say.

All I can say, is that this is a hobby and it should all be done in good humor. Each piece I see, from smallest to largest, is a luxury and something we all take pleasure in and we all have different desires! My modus operandi is that as soon as it’s not giving me pleasure compared to something else, bon voyage! But if your pieces still pull at the heartstrings, whether you wear them or not, that says something. Some people on the forum simply love collecting and admiring more than wearing. I don’t take pleasure in holding onto things I don’t use, so that’s a personal factor for me. I will never have a giant treasure trove of anything outside of a 401k :lol:

Also I have giant hands, size 8 and huge long fingers - think lady basketball player sized :mrgreen: - so honestly bigger stones don’t look too big but I might still be initially self conscious
 
Definitely! While I love and enjoy all my diamonds, there's always a tweak I would make to almost every piece, and that keeps me searching for what I consider "perfection". My priorities are cut (most important), color (love D color diamonds), clarity (prefer VS1 or above), carat (3+). I'm not even sure that's something truly attainable for me, but I keep dreaming. I would and have sacrificed size to stay within my preferred range on the other specs. I have no regrets about that, but I admit I would have loved to go larger. I was so excited to get my 4.01ct LG emerald cut, and while I love it, it still seems to look modest on my 6.5 size finger. I definitely think my perception is skewed.
 
I'll address both parts of this which seems to be twofold - the idea of a bigger stone satisfying you as well as the idea of getting something new fueling your desire for more. IMHO you are not alone at all; I feel certain that I would never have upgraded at all let alone have such a large stone had it not been for the influence of the forum. I have always been a jewelry lover but discovered PS just a couple of years ago. Being a part of the forum is something I really love, but it did put my "wants" into overdrive. I would see PSers with beautiful emeralds and think "wow I really want an emerald now" etc. I think there are many on here who struggle with this obsession/addiction. As far as the bigger diamond, for me personally I love my 3.98 and I do not feel the need to go bigger than that. So as far as the e-ring I am content. In terms of other pretties though, there is always something I am admiring and saving for! I strive for the "be happy with what you have" mentality but I admit that I don't always succeed.
 
I certainly feel pangs of #want when I see beautiful pieces on here, and on other fora, and other social media venues. I think that’s a very human reaction - not something to feel guilty for! The thing that I do think is important is to control one’s reaction to those feelings… But control” doesn’t have to mean “suppress”. You’re not doing any harm daydreaming about a new piece unless those daydreams actually impact your real-world enjoyment of your real-world pieces in lasting fashion.

I went through years of wanting to upgrade and planning an upgrade. Only to ultimately decide that… No, I don’t actually want a bigger diamond! I’m perfectly happy with my ring exactly as it is, and there are other things I’d rather spend that money on!

For me… Two of my triggers are “beauty” (in my perspective) and “rare”/“uncommon”. Often the more I see something the less attraction I feel for it. So I can manipulate myself out of wanting with deliberate exposure - IG searches, google searches, forum searches… But that’s me. For someone else seeing more of something might just fuel the covetousness.

I also have a two week list. When I decide I want something it gets added to the list, and I am not allowed to buy for two weeks. No exceptions. And honestly, the number of #wants I’ve had that have faded within those two weeks is pretty staggering - and every time that happens it’s reassurance that this is the right method for me. But again, everyone’s different!
 
This is my issue in a picture. All of these were purchased as an e-ring or alternative e-ring. And my original e-ring (top; middle) is now in its third setting. My pear is in it’s second. And not pictured is the 1.8ct ACA I returned. (I told my husband I didn’t “need it”, but if I’m being honest, I wished it was bigger.)

64AFE971-B95E-459B-A536-1DE5AED20207.jpeg

I think of these pieces are beautiful! They are all 1.25-2.16ct stones and so they aren’t small. But I feel that “Ohhhh…. If only….” feeling sometimes. And yet I know others might say that about what I have.

So thank you to everyone that responded and shared. I’m glad I’m not alone. <3 (I can’t get the PS emoticons to work on my phone so it’ll be an old school heart. LOL!)
 
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yssie said:
I certainly feel pangs of #want when I see beautiful pieces on here, and on other fora, and other social media venues. I think that’s a very human reaction - not something to feel guilty for! The thing that I do think is important is to control one’s reaction to those feelings… But control” doesn’t have to mean “suppress”. You’re not doing any harm daydreaming about a new piece unless those daydreams actually impact your real-world enjoyment of your real-world pieces in lasting fashion.

I went through years of wanting to upgrade and planning an upgrade. Only to ultimately decide that… No, I don’t actually want a bigger diamond! I’m perfectly happy with my ring exactly as it is, and there are other things I’d rather spend that money on!

For me… Two of my triggers are “beauty” (in my perspective) and “rare”/“uncommon”. Often the more I see something the less attraction I feel for it. So I can manipulate myself out of wanting with deliberate exposure - IG searches, google searches, forum searches… But that’s me. For someone else seeing more of something might just fuel the covetousness.

I also have a two week list. When I decide I want something it gets added to the list, and I am not allowed to buy for two weeks. No exceptions. And honestly, the number of #wants I’ve had that have faded within those two weeks is pretty staggering - and every time that happens it’s reassurance that this is the right method for me. But again, everyone’s different!
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This is a great rule! Mine is that if it’s over $200, I have to wait. (I set aside money each month, about $75, for “play money”. So I keep it within the play money budget.) But since I have a small budget, I usually end up saying, “But is that what I want to spend my play money on?” and then I usually talk myself out of it.
 
After reading your post and drooling over your collection, I wonder if you are a “one-ring-to-rule them all” type of person. I wonder if you would be more satisfied if you sold a few for your big old ring?
 
nala said:
After reading your post and drooling over your collection, I wonder if you are a “one-ring-to-rule them all” type of person. I wonder if you would be more satisfied if you sold a few for your big old ring?
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I wonder that too. But then I love the different personalities of each. Hahahaha!!
 
RetroQT said:
I wonder that too. But then I love the different personalities of each. Hahahaha!!
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I challenge you to explore that route! Play the game. Which would you keep as a rhr???
 
I am on the other side. I don't want anything bigger. I rarely wear my larger stones and they aren't large by PS standards. I have a 2.2 ct OEC and a 2 ct EC. I rarely wear them. I prefer my rings with smaller stones in settings that I like. So, luckily, I guess, I am never looking for a larger stone. But I do see rings I like and want to have and I end up having them made. I guess I'm on the variety side, versus one ring to rule them all side.
 
nala said:
I challenge you to explore that route! Play the game. Which would you keep as a rhr???
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I have to keep my pear. I will never part with that. But then I feel like I should keep my original e-stone. (If I had to choose only one, it’d be the pear.)
 
As someone who didn’t even have an engagement ring, I do think it’s possible to end up satisfied when you finally have something you never thought you’d own.

Over the years, I’ve acquired a lot of jewellery, most of which I don’t wear now. Then I joined PS, and like you, starting seeing everyone‘s beautiful diamond rings, and wondering what it’d be like to own something like that, never actually thinking I would.

I met a PSer in person, who’d recently got a beautiful OEC from OWD. I’d never seen one in person and was immediately struck by how lovely it was, and understood why they were so prized.

I was coming up to a milestone birthday and major anniversary, and when DH asked what I’d like, I said an OEC. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d end up with Bella. I got used to her size very easily, and I no longer feel self conscious wearing her. I definitely don’t see myself ever wanting to ’upgrade’ or change the setting.

I do think part of the ‘problem’ in belonging to PS, is that it’s easy to get swept up in the thrill of the chase, but if it isn’t really what you want, but will soothe the itch for now, you’re still left with the longing after the itch has been temporarily soothed.
 
Lookinagain said:
I am on the other side. I don't want anything bigger. I rarely wear my larger stones and they aren't large by PS standards. I have a 2.2 ct OEC and a 2 ct EC. I rarely wear them. I prefer my rings with smaller stones in settings that I like. So, luckily, I guess, I am never looking for a larger stone. But I do see rings I like and want to have and I end up having them made. I guess I'm on the variety side, versus one ring to rule them all side.
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Sorry for the threadjack but this got me to look at your older threads @Lookinagain and wow your OEC is tdf as well as your EC!! I also love love love that cute antique pear!!!
 
nala said:
After reading your post and drooling over your collection, I wonder if you are a “one-ring-to-rule them all” type of person. I wonder if you would be more satisfied if you sold a few for your big old ring?
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This was my thought too, that you might be stopping short of the ring you really want and that's why you've collected several of them but are still looking.

I don't know if selling some of these and getting something larger would be the end of it or not. But it seems like many of the ladies on here who have an extra large diamond do reach a point where they feel like that's The One and they're done. JMHO
 
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seaurchin said:
This was my thought too, that you might be stopping short of the ring you really want and that's why you've collected several of them but are still looking.

I don't know if selling some of these and getting something larger would be the end of it or not. But it seems like many of the ladies on here who have an extra large diamond do reach a point where they feel like that's The One and they're done. JMHO
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That might be it. I love all of the ones I have, but not enough to keep me from looking.
 
Ok. I am with you on the pear!!
 
I dunno, I dream up 10 million dollars just in the diamonds and gemstone jewellery and I dont even wear jewellery(My wifey wears them and I enjoy seeing them on her).
Even if I had the money I would not likely have it made but its a fun harmless thinking game.
 
This is a great thread. We change our cars, buy new clothes, new purses, change our makeup/hair… yet we feel guilty or feel uncomfortable about wanting to change our jewelry, probably because they are expensive and aren’t “necessary.” I can only speak for myself by saying I don’t hesitate to support my daughter and family and put them first. We have cars that far exceed the value of my dream ring, yet it is still feels like an unattainable dream.
 
RetroQT said:
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else finds that their mind wonders like this too?
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Of course! This is why cars are so much better. Only two fit in our garage -- and even then, there's a size limit. Since all gem and jewelry purchases are irrational to some extent, there is no rational stopping point. :mrgreen2:
 
I stopped wanting to buy a bigger diamond, in emerald cut, as I discovered the 1.19ct E VS1 stone that I have was already too big, flashy and impractical even in its original solitaire simple bezel setting with a plain band for daily wear on my right hand.

So I bought a smaller 0.46/7ct EC stone and had it set East-West in a plain band 5mm in width for daily wear, for the bigger EC to come out for dressier occasions.

If I were to get another diamond, which will be an OEC, it will be another ring for my right hand, and it won't be bigger than the 1.19ct EC as that stone is the stone that trumps all the others due to its sentimental values (there is a sob story attached to it).

Although I can probably afford to get a bigger diamond in 2ct range, however, I truly do not fancy wearing such a big diamond on my right hand.

Besides, I don't feel I have anything to proof anymore!

When I bought my large EC, I was at the stage in my career when I was in middle management climbing up the corporate fruit tree, and the EC was a trophy to myself to reflect my achievements at the time.

In addition to the EC diamond, I also acquired other trophy items such as pens, nice brief case, and a corporate wardrobe with made to measure business wear.

After a life-changing event a few years later, my outlook and aspirations in my work life had changed, and I decided against pursuing a high-flying jet-setting corporate life, and stopped acquiring more trophy items.

Nowadays, I do not feel/believe I have anything to prove, and am proud of my life's achievements.

I don't have an OH, and do not have to check with anyone how I should spend my hard earned money. If I see/want something that I like, I would go and buy it.

I don't have the same issue with big and bold CSs and pearls for wearing on my left hand, and have different ring wardrobes for different occasions.

Not sure if it answers the OP's question(s), however, that's my own personal opinion, etc. etc...

DK :))
 
I always loved big diamonds, and being on Pricescope hasn’t changed much for me, lol, because my a large part of my social circle growing up also was bling/image conscious, so I am kind of used to that feeling of seeing/dreaming of nice things.

Of course when I joined initially it was kind of overwhelming and made me feel bad for some things that I know are most probably not in the cards. But I had a long talk with myself that I need to come to grips with my emotions because they’re pointless. At the end of the day, the things I have and the things I’ll buy are beautiful, my collection to some is (probably) enviable, and even if it isn’t, I love it.

I do feel like contentment is a skill, it needs to be practiced. Setting goals and discipline with bling is important. I’ve been good at that until this year, where I faced significant emotional upheaval and I’m giving myself permission to misbehave (until the end of the year, and that too within reason).
 
I like larger stones a lot. It does seem like a normal size for here is getting close to the 5 to 7 carat mark for stones, which isn't something in the budgetary cards for me. I made the decision to spend a lot less- or no time here for periods- because of the whole comparison is the thief of joy, where it made me not want what I had or feel it was garbage. I'm probably getting ready to take another break again for that reason, even though I have not hung around very long this time recently.

I'm not unhappy with what I have and I used to think I wanted a larger stone. But, I honestly changed my mind on it because I don't wear what I have, but at the same time, I have been feeling as though what I have is kind of crappy, due to the size issue. The best way I have found to deal with that is to not post, view or go on IG.
 
elizat said:
I like larger stones a lot. It does seem like a normal size for here is getting close to the 5 to 7 carat mark for stones, which isn't something in the budgetary cards for me. I made the decision to spend a lot less- or no time here for periods- because of the whole comparison is the thief of joy, where it made me not want what I had or feel it was garbage. I'm probably getting ready to take another break again for that reason, even though I have not hung around very long this time recently.

I'm not unhappy with what I have and I used to think I wanted a larger stone. But, I honestly changed my mind on it because I don't wear what I have, but at the same time, I have been feeling as though what I have is kind of crappy, due to the size issue. The best way I have found to deal with that is to not post, view or go on IG.
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I have noticed that you’ve been on here a lot less @elizat and it saddens me that PS and/or IG make you feel bad about your collection. Your collection is astoundingly beautiful and among my favorites here on PS!
 
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