LIW...would you say YES if ...

[Vani]

Yes, that''s the way it''s usually done in the UK. Surprise proposal, then shopping together for a ring afterwards. I like it that way.

If you''re implying he couldn''t afford a fancy ring at all, that would be ok too - an inexpensive symbolic one (read: £5 silver one or something) would be fine too, as long as there was a wedding date and I knew he was serious about the engagment.

 

[chiquitapet]

I did. Didn''t get an e-ring until couple of years into our marriage.

 

[FroggyMont]

Of course! I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him more then I want a diamond. And I really want that diamond

 

[White Orchid]

It''s not the most romantic option in my book, but if I loved him I would say yes.

 

[bubbly1126]

Absolutely! No doubt!

 

[KatM]

For sure. My parents didn''t do the ring thing and they''ve been married for 30 years.

maybe it''s not the right thing to say in a forum about jewelry, but i''d rather take a vacation somewhere cool together instead to celebrate.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 5/19/2009 7:47:42 PM
Author: Camille
No ring= not ready.

This is NOT true for every couple.

My FI and I got engaged without a ring because we had purchased a home and two new cars within a short period of time and I didn't want to dip into his savings for a ring. I felt it was best that we keep at least half of our mortgage in saving at all times. That $$ could buy a hell of a nice ring, but I've lived long enough to know you can't predict everything and have learned that keeping a good cushion in the bank in case of emergency is priceless. It was a decision we made together. He saved for a ring which I now have and we are getting married in October. I would have married him without a ring. Heck, I would have married him without the big wedding.

I was never any less engaged just because I didn't have a ring on my finger and I had no problem letting people who shared this opinion of "No ring=not ready" exactly just how wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong they were.

Beilieve it or not, the RING does not make the engagement.

ETA - Glad to see that I am not alone in how I feel about these things!!

 

[Viola]

I would say yes, and get the engagement ring at a later date, if he couldn''t afford it at the time of the proposal, we would save, and get the e-ring for an anniversary. I wouldn''t however get married without a wedding band.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Yes! Absolutely.

At this point, the ring is more of a technicality for us anyway. Of course, a proposal will still be exciting... but at this point it''s just a matter of time. Being engaged without a ring would give me a head start on wedding planning (which I''ve dabbled in as it is but won''t book anything or buy any books/magazines for fear of looking nutso)

 

[princesss]

Yup!

I actually found out a few weeks ago that my dad didn''t propose with a ring, and my mom picked out her ring a few months after the proposal.

 

[bluebell]

Of course I would!! I want to marry him regardless of what he puts on my finger.

 

[suchende]

saying yes because you want to help pick out the ring is sort of side-stepping the question, I took it to mean there will be no engagement ring.

I say "yes" to him every day. Yes, I still love you, yes, I still want to be with you, yes, I will listen to your worries, hold your hand through challenges, help you with everything from emotional dark spots to an inconquerable pile of laundry, yes, I will stay with you if you want to drop out of law school, yes, I will stay with you if you go to work for Wachtell and they make you work 100 hours a week... but to be my fiance, I expect a ring. It is important to me (obviously) and he knows that. I feel like it would be disrespectful for him to ask me to consider us engaged without one when he can afford it.

 

[CurlySue]

I would definitely say yes... like someone else said, I''m saying yes to him, not the ring.

 

[MonkeyPants]

yes...but ring shopping immediately after

 

[Bia]

I''d say yes.

 

[tlh]

I would have said No. The length of time I waited for a ring, if he showed up empty handed I would have flipped... but I would have said yes, even if he just had something from a bubble gum machine.

 

[trillionaire]

I would say yes to any ring whatsoever, doesn''t have to be diamond, just symbolic. A silver plain band would be fine. No ring is not really appealling, unless it was just SUPER spontaneous, and I am not going to lie, I would think that was SUPER romantic and sexy!

As we see on these boards, the whole ring process puts a lot of pressure on guys and provides a convenient excuse NOT to make a commitment and drawing things out soooooooo long. I think the British have it right... propose, then get a ring together, afterwards. And modest rings, not extravagent ones. I just cringe at our insane consumer culture sometimes...

 

[suchende]

Date: 5/20/2009 1:04:53 PM
Author: trillionaire
I would say yes to any ring whatsoever, doesn''t have to be diamond, just symbolic. A silver plain band would be fine. No ring is not really appealling, unless it was just SUPER spontaneous, and I am not going to lie, I would think that was SUPER romantic and sexy!

As we see on these boards, the whole ring process puts a lot of pressure on guys and provides a convenient excuse NOT to make a commitment and drawing things out soooooooo long. I think the British have it right... propose, then get a ring together, afterwards. And modest rings, not extravagent ones. I just cringe at our insane consumer culture sometimes...

Maybe I am too caught up in the idea of a ring or something, but even though I can see the appeal of this, I am not sure I would consider us truly engaged if he did this. Like, okay, we''re on vacation, all the sudden he gets down on one knee and says:

"I just realized, you''re the girl for me, will you marry me?"

I would catagorize that as "talking about marriage," not being engaged. Unless he added something about not having gotten a ring because he hadn''t planned it, but that we''ll get one soon.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/20/2009 1:10:21 PM
Author: suchende

Date: 5/20/2009 1:04:53 PM
Author: trillionaire
I would say yes to any ring whatsoever, doesn''t have to be diamond, just symbolic. A silver plain band would be fine. No ring is not really appealling, unless it was just SUPER spontaneous, and I am not going to lie, I would think that was SUPER romantic and sexy!

As we see on these boards, the whole ring process puts a lot of pressure on guys and provides a convenient excuse NOT to make a commitment and drawing things out soooooooo long. I think the British have it right... propose, then get a ring together, afterwards. And modest rings, not extravagent ones. I just cringe at our insane consumer culture sometimes...

Maybe I am too caught up in the idea of a ring or something, but even though I can see the appeal of this, I am not sure I would consider us truly engaged if he did this. Like, okay, we''re on vacation, all the sudden he gets down on one knee and says:

''I just realized, you''re the girl for me, will you marry me?''

I would catagorize that as ''talking about marriage,'' not being engaged. Unless he added something about not having gotten a ring because he hadn''t planned it, but that we''ll get one soon.

That''s pretty much how my parents'' proposal went, and I''m sure they considered themselves very much engaged.

I guess ultimately I think it''s more about the commitment than any symbol. So yeah, I''d take the proposal with no ring and no promise of a ring. Just like I don''t think it''s crucial for people to wear a wedding band. Yeah, it''s a nice symbol, but it doesn''t make you less married if you don''t wear it.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 5/20/2009 1:10:21 PM
Author: suchende

Date: 5/20/2009 1:04:53 PM
Author: trillionaire
I would say yes to any ring whatsoever, doesn''t have to be diamond, just symbolic. A silver plain band would be fine. No ring is not really appealling, unless it was just SUPER spontaneous, and I am not going to lie, I would think that was SUPER romantic and sexy!

As we see on these boards, the whole ring process puts a lot of pressure on guys and provides a convenient excuse NOT to make a commitment and drawing things out soooooooo long. I think the British have it right... propose, then get a ring together, afterwards. And modest rings, not extravagent ones. I just cringe at our insane consumer culture sometimes...

Maybe I am too caught up in the idea of a ring or something, but even though I can see the appeal of this, I am not sure I would consider us truly engaged if he did this. Like, okay, we''re on vacation, all the sudden he gets down on one knee and says:

''I just realized, you''re the girl for me, will you marry me?''

I would catagorize that as ''talking about marriage,'' not being engaged. Unless he added something about not having gotten a ring because he hadn''t planned it, but that we''ll get one soon.

I figure, when I start yelling "NO TAKE BACKS!!!" and jump up and down proclaiming that "We''re ENGAGED!!!, he''ll get the picture. Though the picture might be that being a LIW makes sane women crazy...

hehehe...

 

[princesss]

Trill: I just laughed out loud, and everybody turned and stared. Oops.

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 5/20/2009 1:10:21 PM
Author: suchende

Date: 5/20/2009 1:04:53 PM

Author: trillionaire

I would say yes to any ring whatsoever, doesn't have to be diamond, just symbolic. A silver plain band would be fine. No ring is not really appealling, unless it was just SUPER spontaneous, and I am not going to lie, I would think that was SUPER romantic and sexy!



As we see on these boards, the whole ring process puts a lot of pressure on guys and provides a convenient excuse NOT to make a commitment and drawing things out soooooooo long. I think the British have it right... propose, then get a ring together, afterwards. And modest rings, not extravagent ones. I just cringe at our insane consumer culture sometimes...

Maybe I am too caught up in the idea of a ring or something, but even though I can see the appeal of this, I am not sure I would consider us truly engaged if he did this. Like, okay, we're on vacation, all the sudden he gets down on one knee and says:


'I just realized, you're the girl for me, will you marry me?'


I would catagorize that as 'talking about marriage,' not being engaged. Unless he added something about not having gotten a ring because he hadn't planned it, but that we'll get one soon.

If he asked "would you married me", and you said YES, that will means you are enganged with ring or without.

When my now DH proposed,he did it with out a ring, He did it because he felt it, it was not plan. We talked about the ring after that, and since there was a lot of things more important than a ring. I got my e-ring after a few month being married.

What means the most it's the commitment between two people, not a ring. A ring it's just a beautiful thing that your soon to be husband give it to you as a symbol of love. But what matters the most are his intentions to be with you.

I forgot to add that my DH actually had the money for a modest ring at the time, but that would means empty the bank account, and since he wanted to get me something really nice, I would not mind waiting for it. Of course some people will ask to see the ring, but I nevel felt embarrassed for not having one. And never felt less engaged for not having one eather. The most important thing is to be with the person that you love, it's more important that any diamond.

I will not lie, I love my ring now that I have it

, but I felt happier the day he proposed than the day I got my ring

 

[Dreamgirl]

Nope. But only because we have been together a long time now. I deserve a ring when being asked...

 

[Rhea]

We did agree to marry without an engagement ring so yes, I would still marry the guy without an engagement ring.

 

[misskitty]

Date: 5/20/2009 1:17:05 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 5/20/2009 1:10:21 PM
Author: suchende

Date: 5/20/2009 1:04:53 PM
Author: trillionaire

I would say yes to any ring whatsoever, doesn''t have to be diamond, just symbolic. A silver plain band would be fine. No ring is not really appealling, unless it was just SUPER spontaneous, and I am not going to lie, I would think that was SUPER romantic and sexy!


As we see on these boards, the whole ring process puts a lot of pressure on guys and provides a convenient excuse NOT to make a commitment and drawing things out soooooooo long. I think the British have it right... propose, then get a ring together, afterwards. And modest rings, not extravagent ones. I just cringe at our insane consumer culture sometimes...

Maybe I am too caught up in the idea of a ring or something, but even though I can see the appeal of this, I am not sure I would consider us truly engaged if he did this. Like, okay, we''re on vacation, all the sudden he gets down on one knee and says:

''I just realized, you''re the girl for me, will you marry me?''

I would catagorize that as ''talking about marriage,'' not being engaged. Unless he added something about not having gotten a ring because he hadn''t planned it, but that we''ll get one soon.

I figure, when I start yelling ''NO TAKE BACKS!!!'' and jump up and down proclaiming that ''We''re ENGAGED!!!, he''ll get the picture. Though the picture might be that being a LIW makes sane women crazy...

hehehe...

Trill, I love this! The "no take backs" part, especially. And you and I both generally agree (if I recall correctly from other threads) that the spontaneity/just can''t wait any longer aspect is incredibly romantic.

Essentially, not only would I say yes without a ring, but he might even get extra brownie points for doing so.

 

[sunnyd]

Yes. I wanted him so badly too! I just wanted the man, the ring was a bonus!

 

[gwendolyn]

Of course I would say yes! I sort of worry a little about anyone who wouldn''t at least *consider* accepting a proposal without a ring (what is it you''re accepting exactly then, the man or the piece of jewelry?), but then again, the model I had growing up was my parents and my mom had an engagement *couch*, so maybe that''s why I feel that way.

 

[suchende]

Date: 5/20/2009 4:24:32 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Of course I would say yes! I sort of worry a little about anyone who wouldn''t at least *consider* accepting a proposal without a ring (what is it you''re accepting exactly then, the man or the piece of jewelry?), but then again, the model I had growing up was my parents and my mom had an engagement *couch*, so maybe that''s why I feel that way.

Okay, but my issue here is... why is he not proposing with one? If she really wants a couch, awesome. If they are saving for a house and agree that''s their #1 financial goal, then that''s just prudent. It depends on the circumstances.

 

[mizzo]

Yes. I would prefer it that way.

 

[Squirrly]

Date: 5/20/2009 10:17:31 AM
Author: absolut_blonde
Yes! Absolutely.


At this point, the ring is more of a technicality for us anyway. Of course, a proposal will still be exciting... but at this point it''s just a matter of time. Being engaged without a ring would give me a head start on wedding planning (which I''ve dabbled in as it is but won''t book anything or buy any books/magazines for fear of looking nutso)

ahhhh i feel the same way! FF''s told me to go ahead and get my dress while it''s on sale and we agreed we need to go ahead and reserve the church a year in advance, but it''s just so weird...