Marriage, social class, and tattoos

[nytemist]

Ada- please stop insulting us. I wasn''t stupid and knew exaclty what I was doing- didn''t get the first tat until 24.

Rainbvow- I LOVE your back piece.

Today, since it''s going to be hot in Boston, I''m wearing a halter style dress. In this office building, eveyone has some work, including the CEO (with a long gray ponytail mind you) People always mention to me how pretty the tat is on my back.

Back to the original point though, Laine- regardless of what people think of his appearance you have a man who makes you happy. If others can not deal, that is their issue.

My mom never liked my taste in clothes. Years ago when she went on one of her insulting rants at me, I told her if you don''t like it, don''t look. Give that line to people.

 

[chrono]

I don''t like tattoos, will never have one, purposely picked a spouse without one, and will try my very best to discourage my children from getting tattoos if they should ever consider it.

The reasons are:
1. It looks bad when a person gets old and wrinkly
2. It is mostly permanent
3. A pain to remove and cost $$$
4. Many people are still judgemental about it in the workplace (especially in the conservative professional workforce)

That said, I also don''t judge anyone with tattoos, more of a "each to their own" kind of thing. I think that Ada is entitled to her opinion but went too far in her posts, to the point of being insultive to other members of the PS forum. That is all I have to post on this and will not say anything else on this matter.

Chrono out.

 

[Erin]

A lot of people worry about society, they worry about how people will look at them or react to them ... big deal! The truth about society is that society wastes too much time classifying people into groups anyway, if someone is afraid that they will be classified as a loser the chances are that someone has already classified them as a loser. Everyday someone looks around and says, "Look at that loser!"

It''s true and it happens to all of us. The point is it doesn''t matter what society thinks, personally I hate bell-bottoms but I don''t hate people that wear them.

People are most respected when they are genuine, even when it comes to tattoos and piercing. Some of the smartest people in the world sport them as well as some of the dumbest, it''s universal and a decision to get or not to get a tattoo or piercing shouldn''t ever be based on the perception of others.

 

[Haven]

Ada--I''m sad to see a PS member being so snarky--this forum has a standard of respectful communication and interaction that I would very much like to see upheld. Your obvious disregard for the people with whom you are communicating gives us much more insight about you than you''d probably like to share.

I''m sure someone in your life has shared this nugget of wisdom with you before, but I''m going to risk belaboring a point, here: We don''t guide children to be kind to others in an attempt to save others the pain of hearing hurtful words, rather we hope to spare our children the horrible embarrassment of revealing their ugliness in a public manner. I''m terribly sorry to say that the joke here is on you, my dear, for showing us such an unattractive side of yourself.

Starset & Rainbow--LOVE your tattoos, thanks for sharing.

Rainbow--I''m Jewish, and my father is actually in the clergy (he''s a cantor), and I have two tattoos. I talked to my rabbi before I got the first one, and in case your man''s family is operating on the assumption that people with tattoos cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery, that is pure myth. This myth comes from the fact that a very small amount of Jewish burial societies refuse to bury tattooed individuals, however I assure you that Jewish law does not preclude tattooed Jews from being buried in Jewish cemeteries. And I''ve been to the funeral of a Jewish, tattooed friend who was buried in a Jewish cemetery, so I have practical knowledge, as well. This is one of those HUGE myths, Larry David even talks about it in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but even Larry David can be wrong sometimes.

(I''m sorry to threadjack, all, just couldn''t resist that little soapbox for a moment.)

 

[rainbowtrout]

That''s very interesting and good to know, Haven!

I mostly put a pic of mine up to show that "large" tattoos do not have to be unattractive; in fact large tattoos often have a greater clarity of design because tattoos are generally drawn with 1 size needle--so the larger the design the finer the detail.
Thanks!

 

[justageek]

Date: 8/2/2007 10:30:59 AM
Author: Chrono

The reasons are:

1. It looks bad when a person gets old and wrinkly
2. It is mostly permanent
3. A pain to remove and cost $$$
4. Many people are still judgemental about it in the workplace (especially in the conservative professional workforce)

That said, I also don''t judge anyone with tattoos, more of a ''each to their own'' kind of thing. I think that Ada is entitled to her opinion but went too far in her posts, to the point of being insultive to other members of the PS forum. That is all I have to post on this and will not say anything else on this matter.
Chrono out.

Hi PS! I''m a longtime lurker who''s finally decided to speak up
What Chrono says about tattooing is very true, and I appreciate the fact that, although she would not recommend/encourage it tattooing, she neither condemns nor disapproves of the people who do decide to get tattoos. I do have a medium-sized tattoo on my upper back (rainbowtrout, your tattoo is really nice!), and I did take into consideration the reasons Chrono listed. However, the urge to have something I designed, something that symbolizes a lot of things I''ve been through and will always serve as a reminder of my past, outweighed the cons. The "hard to remove" part actually served as a pro for me. I''m forever losing photos, necklaces, and rings (luckily nothing too expensive/valuable so far!), but I know I will never lose this mark placed on my body. I may get old and wrinkly but the symbolism will remain. It''s my "life-ring" -- people on pricescope generally buy w- and e-rings to symbolize a love and commitment to their SO''s -- I got my tattoo to symbolize a commitment to my past and to my future. I think we can all take away from this discussion that no one should judge any cross-section of people just because they share a common experience. Getting back to the original topic, everyone should just be happy for you that you''ve found such a great match. In fact, they should be even happier for you because you found him DESPITE the odds given to you by different backgrounds, occupations, etc. Congratulations on your love and when you go on the job market!

Chrono, I''m super sorry I brought up your post again against your specific wishes to be left out of this topic -- your post was just such a good example of tolerance of different beliefs and practices that I couldn''t resist

 

[monarch64]

I just have a silly point to add: when I got my first tattoo at 18 I didn''t show my parents, I knew they wouldn''t be very happy about it. I don''t mean they would''ve disowned me or anything, but I didn''t think they''d approve and I didn''t want them knowing their only daughter was off being a wild rebellious college student on their dime even though I was working during college and I had a very good GPA going. However, it so happened that one night while I was visiting them on a break my shirt lifted up and I was wearing some lower rise jeans and my mother saw the top of my little tattoo. Oh horrors...she marched me into the family room to my father, he lowered his NY Times about one inch to look at the "issue" and shook his head. The paper went right back up and that was that. I don''t think he really cared at all, it was something I told him I wanted to do when I was 14, and the tattoo is actually commemorative of my times with him when we took family vacations together. He was probably laughing to himself behind the paper but wanted to seem stern, that would be like him.

Anyway, my poor mom was pretty much "what have you done to yourself," etc., and I told her: "well, if I''m ever kidnapped you can tell the police now I have an identifying mark on my body!" I know, very morbid, but true!

Just thought I''d add a wee bit of humor to this topic.

 

[diamondfan]

Haven, I too had heard the myth regarding burial when a woman I know, Orthodox, was horrified at her daughter marrying a non Jew who was tattoed and she was concerned about this issue. I have heard mixed things by rabbis but mostly that it is not universal, maybe you could not be buried in an Orthodox cemetery but that is it.

My comment is more about a sensitivity I have gained after it coming up in discussion when I have attended small lectures in classroom and social settings by Holocaust survivors (Elie Weisel and Gerda Weisman Klein) and toured the Museum of Tolerance and had a survivor as a tour guide. We had Q and A with these amazing people and the tattoo question did come up in a roundabout way. I think the sense that was conveyed via these survivors was that the Nazi's branded them in the camps with tattoos, and therefore they had a difficult time with the idea of doing it willingingly when it was a sign of ownership and a stripping away of dignity, i.e. reducing someone to a number. I did see the rationale of their views and after that it shed a different light on things. That said, again, I totally respect the right of each person to decide that they want body art, and I have seen some amazing skill and artistic flair in tats that I have seen. While I might initially be taken aback by loads of tats and piercings and things, I would see past that and get to know the person. I might wonder if there was something to it, if I saw someone covered in tats and multiple piercings, but again, I would hope they had made informed decisions and I would not likely think much more about it. And there are some options now for getting things removed so that is great for those who do decide they are in a different place. I am such a baby though I think of the pain and getting infections!

I am not espousing a political belief but just wanted to explain why, for me, as a Jewish person, hearing some of these people speak and coming away with a different perspective, but one that does not include making value judgements about people based on their appearance.