Moving back to East Coast. MD or NC top options.

[Gypsy]

LOL, Gypsy! but you are right. I am very much older than you and we are not starting out but rather dotting the eye's and crossing the t's on our goals.

I have learned many lessons in that school of hard knocks and one of them is that each one has to learn their own lessons.....and as much as we are alike I'm sure we are also dissimilar........but I'm also betting neither of us learns that discretion/valor thing!

Considering that most of the time what people call discretion I see as cowardice, I have a strong suspicion you may be right!

 

[Gypsy]

SB, I am shocked and disappointed to read your post. I am very sorry you apparently had some bad experiences, but I can assure you, I have never encountered such a thing in my life. I am very disappointed that you would paint such a broad brush to put down everyone in NC because of a FEW. There are jerks everywhere, if you haven't noticed. You effectively just did what you accused others of doing, actually.

We live in an area outside of a large city where there is a big lake, and for the most part, this is a small town with a very upscale housing area because of the lake. I have no idea of percentages, but MOST of the people here are not from here. I can't tell you how many people are from the north! They love it and would never move back!!!

But that is okay, we are happy and so are all our friends from other parts of the country, many of whom have beautiful houses ON the lake because they sold houses elsewhere and could easily buy prime property here. We definitely don't care to share the secret of how good it is to live here with too many people, or else it may get too crowded and prices might go up too much.

(Anyway Gypsy, you can see that I am just a little insulted, but I do wish you the very best in your search for a place to live!)

As you know, I've been researching this for a while.
Both DH and I have cousins in NC (not close family, but relatives) and since we've spoken to our families about this we've gotten a lot of feedback. The majority of it is VERY positive. But there is some negative especially as MY family is middle eastern and his family is Italian from NY.

One of his cousins was called a derogatory name for an Italian. And apparently NYers are NOT very well regarded in some areas. And my family has been asked if they are terrorists.

You don't GENERALLY get that in Nor Cal in 2014. But there are bigots everywhere. And one of my aunts has said some doozy things herself (she lives in LA) and insulted entire races of people and my MIL is a very nice bigot herself at times (lives in NJ). Both are very good-hearted people, but they have outdated views and don't understand how poisonous they are. And BOTH of them are from ethnic groups that have experienced bigotry so you would think they would know better!

So we do know it will be different and we are prepared for that. Outright bigotry doesn't concern me that much. I have no problem dismissing people as worthless. It's the fake saccharin "Southern" niceness type bigotry masked as 'concern' and 'advice' that worries me. That just pushes my buttons.

But like I said the MAJORITY of feedback on NC has been very positive.

 

[pinkjewel]

Wow- SB, I had no idea you hated living here so much and had such bad experiences- I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, you did live in a more rural area where the "born agains" can be quite vocal and rude.
Gypsy, have you visited Wake Forest? It is a small bedroom community of Raleigh. There is not a lot there. You will find a HUGE difference in shopping and things available to you in Raleigh compared to Northern California. I consider Wake Forest more conservative than the Chapel Hill/ Carrboro area. You don't have the academics living in Wake Forest. There are a steady stream of non- southeners moving to the whole triangle area, though, so it may be changing. Based on what I'm hearing about you in this thread, I really am not sure if you'd like it here. There are many times I just bite my tongue and I'm not an extremely liberal person. My husband who is quite liberal tells me when he first moved here- the first thing out of most people's mouths were-"what church do you belong to?" and one of his partners who is a die hard "born again" is always trying to convert us. As I'm not one for confrontation, I just pretty much smile and nod and, of course, pay no attention. If I were a more vocal person- I don't know how that would go over around here, I'm just being honest. Cost of living is very good- so that's a definite plus. Being close to both mountains and beach is also a major plus. Weather is generally a plus, but summers can be quite brutal. The Eastern part of the state is considered the most conservative and still has quite a bit of the "good old boy" attitude, less so in the triangle area. If you do plan on having children definitely check the school systems out. If you want to know anything else let me know as I've lived here for 40 years.

 

[pinkjewel]

SB, I am shocked and disappointed to read your post. I am very sorry you apparently had some bad experiences, but I can assure you, I have never encountered such a thing in my life. I am very disappointed that you would paint such a broad brush to put down everyone in NC because of a FEW. There are jerks everywhere, if you haven't noticed. You effectively just did what you accused others of doing, actually.

We live in an area outside of a large city where there is a big lake, and for the most part, this is a small town with a very upscale housing area because of the lake. I have no idea of percentages, but MOST of the people here are not from here. I can't tell you how many people are from the north! They love it and would never move back!!!

But that is okay, we are happy and so are all our friends from other parts of the country, many of whom have beautiful houses ON the lake because they sold houses elsewhere and could easily buy prime property here. We definitely don't care to share the secret of how good it is to live here with too many people, or else it may get too crowded and prices might go up too much.

(Anyway Gypsy, you can see that I am just a little insulted, but I do wish you the very best in your search for a place to live!)

As you know, I've been researching this for a while.
Both DH and I have cousins in NC (not close family, but relatives) and since we've spoken to our families about this we've gotten a lot of feedback. The majority of it is VERY positive. But there is some negative especially as MY family is middle eastern and his family is Italian from NY.

One of his cousins was called a derogatory name for an Italian. And apparently NYers are NOT very well regarded in some areas. And my family has been asked if they are terrorists.

You don't GENERALLY get that in Nor Cal in 2014. But there are bigots everywhere. And one of my aunts has said some doozy things herself (she lives in LA) and insulted entire races of people and my MIL is a very nice bigot herself at times (lives in NJ). Both are very good-hearted people, but they have outdated views and don't understand how poisonous they are. And BOTH of them are from ethnic groups that have experienced bigotry so you would think they would know better!

So we do know it will be different and we are prepared for that. Outright bigotry doesn't concern me that much. I have no problem dismissing people as worthless. It's the fake saccharin "Southern" niceness type bigotry masked as 'concern' and 'advice' that worries me. That just pushes my buttons.

But like I said the MAJORITY of feedback on NC has been very positive.

Haha, Gypsy- I had to laugh when I read your line about "fake saccharin Southern niceness" as you WILL get that. It's just the way it is here. And if you here a sentence started with " why bless your heart"- run far, far away

 

[Gypsy]

Pinkjewel! I was hoping you'd reply. I'm actually okay with religious nosiness. It's one of the few areas I am quite tolerant. It doesn't bother me AT ALL-- I understand where it comes from and actually appreciate the concern for my soul. DH though... DH loves tormenting people who try to convert him/question his religious beliefs. He considered it a hobby. I think he's actually excited about it, as he never gets it in Nor Cal.

I should probably state that DH used to live in Kentucky. So he has experience with hard core red states.

I would love any insight you have on where to start looking. I picked Wake Forest based on types of housing/housing prices, weather, voting records, and distance from Henderson (where my company's office is). I don't work full time from the office, I work from home a lot, but I didn't want to have more than about a 30-ish minute commute.

And DH's job is most likely to be in Raleigh. So I thought it was a good mid point.

The fake saccharin thing bugs me because... well with direct people you know where you stand. With people who are so fake-- how do you know who is your friend and who is waiting to stab you in the back?

So that's what I am most concerned about. Still, as there are a lot of transplant, hopefully I can find some nice genuine people to trust and befriend.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, let me say that as a born and bred southerner, I probably will be polite and friendly to a stranger if I am introduced to them! Would it be better if I turned around and didn't speak? I mean, it sounds like we're damned if we do and damned if we don't! If someone tells me about all their trials and misfortunes, I might say, "Bless your heart, you have been through so much". That means I care for you, and I sincerely sympathize with you. I would hope there would be mutual respect between those of different religious beliefs, but you would be coming to an area where church is part of the culture for some people so that should not come as a surprise. People might invite you to church or a country club, for that matter, and you can politely decline whatever you wish. Trust me, there are people who occasionally knock at my door from various groups, and I either do not answer the door, or I answer and thank them but tell them I am not interested.

There are crazy people, fake people, pretentious people, mean people, and kind and loving people everywhere. I have met all kinds of people through the years, but all of my friends are of the kind and loving type! I am pretty sure SB was unhappy where they lived before NC (not in the south), too, so she has had some bad luck with her locations, apparently. Hopefully Germany will be better. And I am sincerely sad, Gypsy, that you have had negative comments because of your heritage. I know that is much, much worse, but I can feel just a little of what you must feel like when I hear an entire state (or region) of people stereotyped.

Anyway, Gypsy, Pinkjewel is the one to tell you about areas to live in that part of the state. It certainly may not be for you, and that's okay. There are lots of blue states up north with high housing prices and lots of blizzards! (jk)

 

[SB621]

SB, I am shocked and disappointed to read your post. I am very sorry you apparently had some bad experiences, but I can assure you, I have never encountered such a thing in my life. I am very disappointed that you would paint such a broad brush to put down everyone in NC because of a FEW. There are jerks everywhere, if you haven't noticed. You effectively just did what you accused others of doing, actually.

We live in an area outside of a large city where there is a big lake, and for the most part, this is a small town with a very upscale housing area because of the lake. I have no idea of percentages, but MOST of the people here are not from here. I can't tell you how many people are from the north! They love it and would never move back!!!

But that is okay, we are happy and so are all our friends from other parts of the country, many of whom have beautiful houses ON the lake because they sold houses elsewhere and could easily buy prime property here. We definitely don't care to share the secret of how good it is to live here with too many people, or else it may get too crowded and prices might go up too much.

(Anyway Gypsy, you can see that I am just a little insulted, but I do wish you the very best in your search for a place to live!)

DS I was having quite the day yesterday posting off my phone so I will go into more detail as I now have a laptop, hopefully this will help.

And for the record I was born in the South and lived the majority of my life below the mason dixon line. I'm the only "blue" in my very large family of "red." This is not an us vs. them discussion as far as I'm concerned. Anyhow I will expand for you so you understand where I'm coming from as I'm rather surprised by your response. I don't think it was a put down at all to everyone in NC. As I already stated my response was directed at Gypsy. My response would have been totally different if it was someone else. Anyhow going off topic... I seriously doubt you would have encounter what I have, because you are a middle age white Christian woman. I'm assuming your family and friends are similar to you with similar values, ethics etc. You don't exactly rock the boat and have a more in your face personality that Gypsy, I and others might have. You fit in your community perfectly, which is not a slam or a bad thing at all. However for those of us who aren't a perfect fit and do have strong personalities it can be much harder. While others may chalk it up to "jerks are everywhere" my response is that I don't have to be where they are and I will most certainly NOT allow my children to be there either. I too want to find a community where I fit in. For me NC was not it, not that it is bad for everyone else. But once again knowing Gypsy from what she has posted online I would not recommend it. Where you might not be offended or even realize there is an issue (Like when people tell you to have a blessed day), I believe Gypsy would be less then enthusastic. It is all about viewpoints, not brush strokes and you view NC differently then I do.

Edit forgot to add that you have me on FB and my email. Feel free to contact me off PS if you want to discuss further. I don't want to turn Gypsy's thread into a debate. I just wanted to come back and clarify.

Edit 2: And the other location we didnt' like was several years ago in the midwest. We have loved every other place and yes Germany is going well. Once again we have lucked out with places where we "fit" in and some where we haven't. But like Gypsy we also are now actively try to pick locations that would be best fit. Another reason I was so honest with my answer.

 

[pinkjewel]

Gypsy, DS is sooo right. NC is actually a wonderful state to live in- I'm not trying to talk you out of it.I wouldn't have lived here for 40 years otherwise. There are all types of people here and things have changed considerably since my family moved to NC from Ohio 40 years ago. At that time I heard someone refer to us as "yankee carpet baggers" And the "bless your heart" thing is kind of an inside joke- no offense DS Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".

People are friendly- heck I talk to strangers all the time. You'll figure out who sincerely want to be your friend and who does not- just like any other part of the country. Right now the triangle is a real melting pot with all the tech companies in RTP and the medical centers. The Wake Forest area is probably a good choice. Easy access to Henderson and Raleigh, and close to 540 to head towards RTP. Do you like planned communities at all? Wakefield is very, very nice. I think it may still be considered Raleigh- but it's up towards Wake Forest. I think they have townhomes there if that's what you're looking for. I don't get up to Wake forest too much, so I'm not too sure what else is there. I think if you were to go to close to Henderson-like Oxford, Creedmoor, and other small towns you would not find it very convenient to Raleigh and probably too "small town".Lots more restaurants and things to do in Raleigh. If you decide to come visit, let me know and I'd be happy to take you around.

 

[SB621]

Gypsy, DS is sooo right. NC is actually a wonderful state to live in- I'm not trying to talk you out of it.I wouldn't have lived here for 40 years otherwise. There are all types of people here and things have changed considerably since my family moved to NC from Ohio 40 years ago. At that time I heard someone refer to us as "yankee carpet baggers" And the "bless your heart" thing is kind of an inside joke- no offense DS Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".

People are friendly- heck I talk to strangers all the time. You'll figure out who sincerely want to be your friend and who does not- just like any other part of the country. Right now the triangle is a real melting pot with all the tech companies in RTP and the medical centers. The Wake Forest area is probably a good choice. Easy access to Henderson and Raleigh, and close to 540 to head towards RTP. Do you like planned communities at all? Wakefield is very, very nice. I think it may still be considered Raleigh- but it's up towards Wake Forest. I think they have townhomes there if that's what you're looking for. I don't get up to Wake forest too much, so I'm not too sure what else is there. I think if you were to go to close to Henderson-like Oxford, Creedmoor, and other small towns you would not find it very convenient to Raleigh and probably too "small town".Lots more restaurants and things to do in Raleigh. If you decide to come visit, let me know and I'd be happy to take you around.

What about Apex? Or is that too far South? I'm not sure where Henderson is from Apex which is southwest of Raleigh. Anyhow Apex was small, clean, great shopping...I think it was also voted one of the best small towns in america recently.

And for Baltimore you could look into Towson, MD. Ellicot City might also be of interest.

 

[pinkjewel]

Gypsy, DS is sooo right. NC is actually a wonderful state to live in- I'm not trying to talk you out of it.I wouldn't have lived here for 40 years otherwise. There are all types of people here and things have changed considerably since my family moved to NC from Ohio 40 years ago. At that time I heard someone refer to us as "yankee carpet baggers" And the "bless your heart" thing is kind of an inside joke- no offense DS Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".

People are friendly- heck I talk to strangers all the time. You'll figure out who sincerely want to be your friend and who does not- just like any other part of the country. Right now the triangle is a real melting pot with all the tech companies in RTP and the medical centers. The Wake Forest area is probably a good choice. Easy access to Henderson and Raleigh, and close to 540 to head towards RTP. Do you like planned communities at all? Wakefield is very, very nice. I think it may still be considered Raleigh- but it's up towards Wake Forest. I think they have townhomes there if that's what you're looking for. I don't get up to Wake forest too much, so I'm not too sure what else is there. I think if you were to go to close to Henderson-like Oxford, Creedmoor, and other small towns you would not find it very convenient to Raleigh and probably too "small town".Lots more restaurants and things to do in Raleigh. If you decide to come visit, let me know and I'd be happy to take you around.

What about Apex? Or is that too far South? I'm not sure where Henderson is from Apex which is southwest of Raleigh. Anyhow Apex was small, clean, great shopping...I think it was also voted one of the best small towns in america recently.

And for Baltimore you could look into Towson, MD. Ellicot City might also be of interest.

SB- I think Apex would be too far a commute for Gypsy. Henderson is around 30 miles north of Raleigh up US1. Of course, I've never driven it via 540 since the road is relatively new as far south as Apex, but that would only go as far North as Triangle Town Center area. I actually think if you had lived in North Raleigh, your experience here would have been far different. Lots of diversity there. Gypsy, you might consider some of the North Raleigh areas as I think your commute would be doable from there. Maybe look around Strickland Road and North-so up Falls of the Neuse Rd, Six Forks Rd, Creedmoor Rd,- lots of nice communities up that way.

 

[SB621]

Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".
.

Yes I actually noticed this earlier in the thread with some comments directed at me.

Gypsy perfect example. I want people to be direct with me. I don't want them to smile to my face and then try to shoot me down with a snide comment or any comment where you are left wondering if it was a set down. Especially when I'm only expressing my feelings of opinions without malicious intent. This is how I felt often in NC that my opinion was pushed aside or just ignored because I didn't fit into the norm. So goodluck to you if you do move there and I wish you the best. I think you will rock the boat in many ways (good and bad). I hope you get together with PJ as she is the bestest lunch buddy ever and meet other PSers as I know several are in the area though I never got to meet them.

 

[gemtastic]

The conversation started as "red" vs "blue" and quickly the element of bigotry and racism was entered and equated to the "red" states....interesting. I have lived up and down the east coast and there are plenty of bigots and racists in New England.....

I am sure you will get some stares deep in the heart of NC if you drive around with an Obama bumper sticker on your car. I have also had a friend run off the road in Massachusetts for having a Yankee's bumper sticker. People are ignorant and reactionary wherever you are.

I think you are right to consider the general cultural climate of anywhere you move. Everyone wants to find a community that they identify with and supports them.

I don't identify with either political party, don't really care if the state I live in is red or blue, but am interested to see the quick turn of the thread. I re-read and don't recall the OP being concerned about bigotry or racism, only politics.

I would be bored to tears in Wake Forest area. I looked at living there about 10 y ago and counted more funeral homes than restaurants.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I just really appreciate diversity, SB. I think we can find like-minded people everywhere if we try (and yes, that might mean moving to a different neighborhood or community). But I am really happy that I have friends who have varied beliefs as far as politics and religion go. Yes, my closest couple of friends are a lot like me (except guess what, neither is from the south!). But my larger circle of friends (including PS friends) include people who are different in various ways, and I believe that makes me much more understanding/tolerant/respectful toward others. I am sorry you have experienced people who were not that way. But I have no desire to live where everyone is just alike.

As far as Gypsy is concerned, I think she would be fine as long as she realizes there will be diversity. About half this state is blue (it voted for Obama in 200, so she should find many like-minded friends especially if she chooses the right area. I'd be happy to be her local friend if she was moving to my area, regardless of where we agreed and disagreed on things like politics or religion (I am not red or blue because I don't trust any of them at this point. They've all sold out to special interests of one kind or another by the time they get to a high office. So either everyone can like me or hate me, I suppose!)

Anyway, I am sorry you were unhappy where you lived in NC. I hope Gypsy listens to all the advice, because the more she knows, the more informed her decision will be.

Pinkjewel, someday we will manage a get-together! I am determined! Mom2boys and I are planning to do some jewelry shopping in a wonderful mountain resort in early June and would love for you to join us if you could make the long trip. I think it would be close to 6.5-7 hours for you by car.

 

[pinkjewel]

Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".
.

Yes I actually noticed this earlier in the thread with some comments directed at me.

Gypsy perfect example. I want people to be direct with me. I don't want them to smile to my face and then try to shoot me down with a snide comment or any comment where you are left wondering if it was a set down. Especially when I'm only expressing my feelings of opinions without malicious intent. This is how I felt often in NC that my opinion was pushed aside or just ignored because I didn't fit into the norm. So goodluck to you if you do move there and I wish you the best. I think you will rock the boat in many ways (good and bad). I hope you get together with PJ as she is the bestest lunch buddy ever and meet other PSers as I know several are in the area though I never got to meet them.

Awww... I miss you and our lunches, SB. Glad you are loving Germany-looks like quite an adventure. I really do think you would have liked living here if you were more in the North Raleigh area. And Gypsy, the more I'm thinking about it, the more I think you may prefer North Raleigh to Wake Forest,too. Wake Forest has grown tremendously in 10 years- but still doesn't have nearly what you'd have in North Raleigh.

 

[pinkjewel]

I just really appreciate diversity, SB. I think we can find like-minded people everywhere if we try (and yes, that might mean moving to a different neighborhood or community). But I am really happy that I have friends who have varied beliefs as far as politics and religion go. Yes, my closest couple of friends are a lot like me (except guess what, neither is from the south!). But my larger circle of friends (including PS friends) include people who are different in various ways, and I believe that makes me much more understanding/tolerant/respectful toward others. I am sorry you have experienced people who were not that way. But I have no desire to live where everyone is just alike.

As far as Gypsy is concerned, I think she would be fine as long as she realizes there will be diversity. About half this state is blue (it voted for Obama in 200, so she should find many like-minded friends especially if she chooses the right area. I'd be happy to be her local friend if she was moving to my area, regardless of where we agreed and disagreed on things like politics or religion (I am not red or blue because I don't trust any of them at this point. They've all sold out to special interests of one kind or another by the time they get to a high office. So either everyone can like me or hate me, I suppose!)

Anyway, I am sorry you were unhappy where you lived in NC. I hope Gypsy listens to all the advice, because the more she knows, the more informed her decision will be.

Pinkjewel, someday we will manage a get-together! I am determined! Mom2boys and I are planning to do some jewelry shopping in a wonderful mountain resort in early June and would love for you to join us if you could make the long trip. I think it would be close to 6.5-7 hours for you by car.

DS- yes we HAVE to get together!!! thanks for the invite!!! Is this the same mountain resort you went to last year? That looked like soooo much fun! I also like your idea of a New York GTG- easier for me to hop on a plane for an hour flight. Not sure I'm up to a 7 hour drive

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Haha! That is the truth! We both could get to NY faster! Yes, it is the same place. You could fly into Asheville and rent a car and drive the rest of the way which would be maybe 1.5 hours. But I may be up for a NY trip, too. Maybe we can talk about some dates and arrange a GTG with some of the NYC people.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,


I don't think people make friends based on regional usages of language. Friendships are more often made over time, and the Bless Your Heart, doesn't mean anything more than How are You today? "Fine" is what is expected , and nothing is expected from the comment Bless your heart..... You are an adult who can navigate these United states, even in the South.

Chapel hill has been selected as One of the best areas in the US, and also one of the best places to retire. Populations change, as I can attest to, political parties lose favor at times. I believe I became more understanding of others since i moved to the Midwest. My y brother was here and had warned me it would be very different than N.Y.. He is a liberal as well and when he had the opportunity to go back to NY. he choose to stay in Republican Dupage County, Il. He is now in England and hoped he could persuade his wife to retire in North Carolina, but shes happy in England.


You may be over thinking this. Really, good people are everywhere. You only need a few friends to get you on your way.
Take it slow. They will be there.

Annette

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Really great post, Annette!

I just want to second Chapel Hill. My son-in-law's brother lives there and it is a wonderful area, although housing is going to be a bit higher there. You have one of the best universities in the country there with all the cultural assets and diversity of people that come with a major university. The brother is as nice as he can be and is very liberal and his girlfriend is of another race. It is just not an issue and they love living there. Again, choosing the right area is important for anyone moving anywhere. And Gypsy, even if you don't have kids, choosing an area based on the best schools is a great way to help insure good property values down the road if you should decide to sell.

I love Virginia, too. We lived there for about 5 years.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I'm wading into the conversation here as a former NC resident (and I now live in the DC area, but in Northern Virginia, which is like a separate state of its own).

I personally did not have a good experience growing up as a minority in NC. Of course, this was in the 80s and 90s and I hear things have changed quite a bit. My husband and I considered moving to the Triangle area before we had kids, and part of what I couldn't shake off was still hearing stories about bigotry, even amongst the more "elite" of the area. People would tout the universities as having a large Asian student body as a sign of diversity, but then it always turned out that all those Asians were international students (which is fine, of course). I wanted a place where being Asian didn't always mean you were a new immigrant- I wanted a place where we Asians were just part of the ordinary population, born and bred in the US, not looked at as foreigners.

I'd be very interested to hear other racial/ethnic minorities' experiences living in NC. My parents now live in Charleston, SC and are originally from Brooklyn, replete with strong accent (and I should note they are Caucasian). They've lived there for almost 20 years and have encountered the anti-Yankee sentiment, but have also found a really nice community and they feel like it's their home now.

 

[pinkjewel]

I'm wading into the conversation here as a former NC resident (and I now live in the DC area, but in Northern Virginia, which is like a separate state of its own).

I personally did not have a good experience growing up as a minority in NC. Of course, this was in the 80s and 90s and I hear things have changed quite a bit. My husband and I considered moving to the Triangle area before we had kids, and part of what I couldn't shake off was still hearing stories about bigotry, even amongst the more "elite" of the area. People would tout the universities as having a large Asian student body as a sign of diversity, but then it always turned out that all those Asians were international students (which is fine, of course). I wanted a place where being Asian didn't always mean you were a new immigrant- I wanted a place where we Asians were just part of the ordinary population, born and bred in the US, not looked at as foreigners.

I'd be very interested to hear other racial/ethnic minorities' experiences living in NC. My parents now live in Charleston, SC and are originally from Brooklyn, replete with strong accent (and I should note they are Caucasian). They've lived there for almost 20 years and have encountered the anti-Yankee sentiment, but have also found a really nice community and they feel like it's their home now.

I am sorry you did not have a good experience in NC.
But, I think if you want to hear other experiences you probably should start a different thread as this is not what Gypsy was asking about. We don't want keep straying off topic from the OP's original questions.

 

[pinkjewel]

Really great post, Annette!

I just want to second Chapel Hill. My son-in-law's brother lives there and it is a wonderful area, although housing is going to be a bit higher there. You have one of the best universities in the country there with all the cultural assets and diversity of people that come with a major university. The brother is as nice as he can be and is very liberal and his girlfriend is of another race. It is just not an issue and they love living there. Again, choosing the right area is important for anyone moving anywhere. And Gypsy, even if you don't have kids, choosing an area based on the best schools is a great way to help insure good property values down the road if you should decide to sell.

I love Virginia, too. We lived there for about 5 years.

Chapel Hill is a great area- I grew up there. But I think it is too far a commute to Henderson for Gypsy and housing is quite a bit more expensive there than Raleigh and Wake Forest-although nothing like northern California!!!! She would always be bucking traffic which has gotten to be a bit of a nightmare around here lately. I think it could easily take an hour or more to get to Henderson from Chapel Hill depending on how bad traffic was. Since she said she wanted to keep it around 1/2 hour I think that would keep Chapel Hill from being in the running. I suppose north Durham area might work, but I don't know anything about that area.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Really great post, Annette!

I just want to second Chapel Hill. My son-in-law's brother lives there and it is a wonderful area, although housing is going to be a bit higher there. You have one of the best universities in the country there with all the cultural assets and diversity of people that come with a major university. The brother is as nice as he can be and is very liberal and his girlfriend is of another race. It is just not an issue and they love living there. Again, choosing the right area is important for anyone moving anywhere. And Gypsy, even if you don't have kids, choosing an area based on the best schools is a great way to help insure good property values down the road if you should decide to sell.

I love Virginia, too. We lived there for about 5 years.

Chapel Hill is a great area- I grew up there. But I think it is too far a commute to Henderson for Gypsy and housing is quite a bit more expensive there than Raleigh and Wake Forest-although nothing like northern California!!!! She would always be bucking traffic which has gotten to be a bit of a nightmare around here lately. I think it could easily take an hour or more to get to Henderson from Chapel Hill depending on how bad traffic was. Since she said she wanted to keep it around 1/2 hour I think that would keep Chapel Hill from being in the running. I suppose north Durham area might work, but I don't know anything about that area.

Ugh, well an hour commute would be out for me for sure! I feel like a good realtor might know about the region and be able to help them target some of the better areas for them. I would think Durham might be good with Duke being there. But I don't know anyone who lives in that area. Talk about access to good healthcare, though, wow!!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Just to lay part of this discussion aside, I want to apologize to SB for reacting to her comments about NC in a way that upset her. I was reacting to words that were said and certainly did not mean to personally insult her. I am sincerely sorry she was unhappy during the time they were stationed here, and hope all future moves will be great ones for their family.

 

[Sky56]

The people I knew who liked their moves to NC lived in Asheville, Carrboro, Chapel Hill and Durham.

 

[Gypsy]

Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".
.

Yes I actually noticed this earlier in the thread with some comments directed at me.

Gypsy perfect example. I want people to be direct with me. I don't want them to smile to my face and then try to shoot me down with a snide comment or any comment where you are left wondering if it was a set down. Especially when I'm only expressing my feelings of opinions without malicious intent. This is how I felt often in NC that my opinion was pushed aside or just ignored because I didn't fit into the norm. So goodluck to you if you do move there and I wish you the best. I think you will rock the boat in many ways (good and bad). I hope you get together with PJ as she is the bestest lunch buddy ever and meet other PSers as I know several are in the area though I never got to meet them.

This is very me. Which is why I am paying close attention to your posts SB.

That said, when we moved to NJ it took ME a couple years to find close friends (DH had old friends). We aren't people that let people in easily-- trust issues for both of us. So we prefer distance as it is safe (hence internet forums) for us. We're both that way. And we like each other best and spend a lot of time happily just to two of us. It took us several years to make close friends out in CA too. And even here where I have a lot of FANTASTIC friends we don't really do anything social more than once a month. So we're okay with the fact that we aren't going to have a rolling social life right out of the gate.

I would love to have lunch with PinkJewel!

 

[Gypsy]

Gypsy, DS is sooo right. NC is actually a wonderful state to live in- I'm not trying to talk you out of it.I wouldn't have lived here for 40 years otherwise. There are all types of people here and things have changed considerably since my family moved to NC from Ohio 40 years ago. At that time I heard someone refer to us as "yankee carpet baggers" And the "bless your heart" thing is kind of an inside joke- no offense DS Some people will start their phrase like that only to go on and say something negative. Like "bless your heart, you sure are looking tired these days".

People are friendly- heck I talk to strangers all the time. You'll figure out who sincerely want to be your friend and who does not- just like any other part of the country. Right now the triangle is a real melting pot with all the tech companies in RTP and the medical centers. The Wake Forest area is probably a good choice. Easy access to Henderson and Raleigh, and close to 540 to head towards RTP. Do you like planned communities at all? Wakefield is very, very nice. I think it may still be considered Raleigh- but it's up towards Wake Forest. I think they have townhomes there if that's what you're looking for. I don't get up to Wake forest too much, so I'm not too sure what else is there. I think if you were to go to close to Henderson-like Oxford, Creedmoor, and other small towns you would not find it very convenient to Raleigh and probably too "small town".Lots more restaurants and things to do in Raleigh. If you decide to come visit, let me know and I'd be happy to take you around.

Great advice Pink Jewel. I will check out Wakefield at all. I don't DISLIKE planned communities. They are everywhere out here in CA. If I did dislike them I'd dislike half the state! Our plan is to buy a townhome and see how we like living out there. Then after 3 years or so IF we decide we like it there we'll move to a 'real' house-- probably one we can buy brand new in a planned community. If we don't care for living in NC then we'll just stay in the townhome until we move away.

The main thing is 1) we want to buy a home; and 2) I want to pay the BARE minimum from the outset (so 150,000 budget is just right) for something that has the space we want (1200 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths minimum, open floor plan) in a location that is easy to work for both of us, and that has decent restaurants and shopping reasonably close. I know that there is a great Farmer's Market in North Raleigh, so I am SUPER happy about that. And I've been researching a ton of other things in the area as well.

 

[Gypsy]

I think this thread is chugging along in a lovely way. Lots of stuff to think about. And lots of organic conversations off shooting.

A couple interesting things have come up.

I'm not terribly worried about bigots. If you heard some of the things I heard living in NJ you'd be shocked. Bigots are everywhere-- as I've said even our own families have them. I have no issue writing them off. And I don't ride around with bumper stickers on my car, or stick provoking things on my lawn. I am very private and so is DH.

Religion is not a big deal for me. And DH considers baiting persistent/rude bible thumpers a hobby. So I feel more sorry for them, than us. I am an agnostic who does occasionally enjoy going to church and DH is an athiest for the most part. And if we are going to hell, so be it.

I am VERY interested in the experience of minorities in the area. Out here in CA, at least in the areas we've lived (Peninsula and East Bay) "minorities" are the majority. I don't think I've been asked where I am from out here in years. In NJ I'd get it a couple times a month if not more. I loved replying with "California" when I knew what they wanted to know was my cultural heritage. DH isn't the only one who baits.

Diversity is important to me, but I have lived in areas without it. In NJ you were either Italian, Jewish, or Italian. And that was pretty much it. All white. All very proud of their heritage. And all slightly wary of the others and completely baffled by where I fit in (with the Italians because of DH more often than not). I MISS IT when it isn't available. But the lack of it, at least to the levels I am used to out here, is okay. I appreciate individuals not just where they come from.

I think at least a visit out there is looking very likely. I'm just to sure when we would be able to move. If it is this year, then I'll try to come out sooner. If it's not till next year, then ... later (fall) will be more likely. We have a wedding on the east coast in late September, so having a detour to NC for a couple days would be easy for us.

Please keep discussing whatever you feel is relevant, I'm enjoying the conversations and I appreciate everyone's input.

 

[movie zombie]

Just to lay part of this discussion aside, I want to apologize to SB for reacting to her comments about NC in a way that upset her. I was reacting to words that were said and certainly did not mean to personally insult her. I am sincerely sorry she was unhappy during the time they were stationed here, and hope all future moves will be great ones for their family.

and you, my dear diamondseeker, have just shown why Pricescope is a great place!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Just to lay part of this discussion aside, I want to apologize to SB for reacting to her comments about NC in a way that upset her. I was reacting to words that were said and certainly did not mean to personally insult her. I am sincerely sorry she was unhappy during the time they were stationed here, and hope all future moves will be great ones for their family.

and you, my dear diamondseeker, have just shown why Pricescope is a great place!

MZ, thank you so much for that, and I agree PS is a great community. I consider all of you my friends, and the last thing I want to do is to hurt someone here with my words. We are an outspoken bunch, to say the least, and I just have to remind myself that I might need to think longer about how I respond to things with which I may disagree before posting.

 

[movie zombie]

......... We are an outspoken bunch, to say the least, and I just have to remind myself that I might need to think longer about how I respond to things with which I may disagree before posting.

good words for all of us....you should see what i type first before i edit! and it still comes out very blunt!!!!!!