My daughter is not in her senior yearbook!!!!! :-(

[rubybeth]

Eh, it sucks, but I'll be honest and say I never look at my senior yearbook. I like the sticker idea, and she can mail them to friends or when she next sees them, give them a copy. I think an apology from the faculty who oversaw yearbook production would also be respectful, on their part, to issue in some formal way, like on letterhead, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that.

Mistakes do happen, and I think the thing we have to learn (and model for children) is not to hold onto things that are, in the grand scheme of things, very minor. This won't affect her job opportunities or her future in any meaningful way--I've only been asked for college transcripts to prove attendance, never high school year book. Also, I look so much better now than I did in high school, I might be kind of relieved to look back and know my dorky face wasn't in the yearbook!

 

[cmd2014]

I don't think I even still have my senior yearbook (maybe it's in a box somewhere, but I certainly haven't looked at it since the day it came out). Maybe whether or not you do depends on what you go on to do in life. But I am hoping that for Autumngem's daughter she goes on to bigger and better things. I hope that she graduates from university or community college or technical college, or maybe even completes a certification program in some sort of trade (which is a MUCH bigger deal for most people). Maybe she'll go to graduate school or law school or medical school or graduate from some other training program that sets her up to find professional success. I also hope she makes friends that will become life-long friends in adulthood, that she dates a LOT of people and figures out who is really a good fit for her (and who isn't), and finds a life-long romantic partner. Maybe have some children of her own (or not). I hope that she travels, experiences life to the fullest, and isn't bogged down by memories of high school (honestly, four years out of an entire life lived well is just not that much). But I also hope that she learns that sometimes things happen that are painful, and that it's ok to feel whatever that makes her feel, and that she is capable of picking herself up, dusting herself off, and figuring out a way to move forward. Because, that's life. And if she doesn't learn how to do this now, she's going to really struggle when bigger things hit. And bigger things will hit. No-one gets through life without hard times (grief, loss, disappointment, heartbreak, hardship - they happen to us all).

And for what it's worth, I have had to produce high school transcripts and university transcripts, and documentation regarding my professional training in order to get jobs (and references, and criminal record checks, and child abuse registry checks, and immunization records as I work in health care, and copies of government issued id cards), but no-one has ever asked to see a high school yearbook as proof of identity. So I think it is venturing out of reality to suggest that this can hurt her professionally in years to come. Lets stay grounded people. Sometimes mistakes happen. Sometimes they are intentional. That sucks too, but dealing with bullies is also part of life - because they don't just happen in high school. They happen in real life too when the stakes are higher (awful boss, horrible co-worker, toxic workplace) - and if she has tools now she will cope later.

 

[msop04]

God... I feel so badly for your daughter, @autumngems! Regardless of the reason why her photo and/or name was not included, surely there are teachers/school staff members who oversee this yearbook and have to approve the final draft??!!

IMO, the school is 100% at fault. Even though the yearbook staff may have been comprised of all HS students, it is the SCHOOL'S RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that all classmates are represented. (I understand that some may not have had photos made for whatever reason, but this clearly not the case.) If the yearbook staff was indeed made up of only HS students with zero supervision/approval from teachers/staff, then that is on the school as well -- for being freaking idiots. Whether it was truly an honest mistake or some kind of "mean girl" thing, supervision and final draft approval from a teacher/superior would have prevented the yearbook from actually going to print in error.

I really don't have anything to add, other than I truly feel for your daughter... I can't even imagine how that must make her feel...

ETA: I have my 20 year HS reunion coming up this Saturday, and as the sole planner, I had to depend on our yearbook to reach out to classmates I didn't remember -- or at least list their names in hopes someone could help me reach them. Even though I really don't look at it, a yearbook contains memories and photos of times gone by... it's your youth. To not be included would have devastated me, to say the least.

 

[GliderPoss]

Lawyer up!? :roll Geez....

I'm truly sorry your daughter was left out of her yearbook but beyond an apology from the school, a refund and perhaps a sticker issue I think the matter can be settled without making a mountain out of a molehill! As we don't even know if it was intentional, like the others have said this could be a useful lesson in resilience. I hope she moves on quickly and finds joy in other things.