My god-daughter is going to university! Exhaaaaaaale....

[mrs-b]

@mrs-b your story resonates with me, I’m a stepmother to a 27 year old who is shared custody due to a very short relationship with my husband.
When my stepson was five he said to me “what are you to me” I explained that I would always be whatever he needed and wanted me to be.
Dear little man was torn between two very different households so I just stepped up as needed, he had his Mum and Dad.
My stepson has always been a bright clever boy but also had to deal with all the issues that come with a separated Mother & Father, which from my perspective was heart wrenching. There where so many tumultuous times during secondary school for him and us.
But He did it, got accepted into a renowned Melbourne university and completed his PHD in Mathematics, his career is flourishing, has bought a house and is happy!
Though my stepson’s schooling to university, my husband and I learnt so much about parenting a teenager to achieve their potential to where they want to be career wise.
Our daughter is 21 and is studying at the same university as her older brother, she wants to be a Diplomat so is studying Mandarin, along with political & women’s studies. She also works very part time as a Sommelier (in training and well looked after for her age) for an established Victorian/Australian vineyard.
Our current teenage project is our youngest, finishing his last year of secondary school and aiming for a high ATAR (Australia) score, he wants to be an Architect. He says it’s because he has grown up with renovations of houses and the love of environmentally friendly housing designs.
Congratulations for your gorgeous God-daughter and her accomplishments due to your love and support!

Hi @Brigid -

Did you know I'm Australian? I've been in the US for over 20 years now and have dual citizenship, but I'm Australian, born and bred.

I'm not sure if you read the later updates on this story, but I legally adopted Eleanor last year, so she is now my daughter, rather than my goddaughter. The goal for this year is to start the process to get her Australian citizenship so she'll have dual citizenship like me. One day we'll probably relocate to Australia, which I think she would love; she speaks often of the Australian surfer dude she hopes is waiting there for her!

Your stepson sounds like my godson, who is currently working on his PhD. High school had many rocky moments, but he came out the other side, survived his undergrad degree and is now motoring on in a career he loves. I've been in Nathaniel's life since he was 7, and a lot of that time has been spent holding my breath. I love him more than life itself, and he's a wonderful person - I Just want so many good things for him and life is so unpredictable....

Wishing you and your family well in all their endeavors!

PS. Which Melbourne uni? UM? Monash?

 

[Brigid]

@mrs-b My stepson started at Monash University, they invited him to enrol to do a specialist research/science/mathematics BA (his ATAR score was 99%) he then moved to Melbourne University to complete his PhD. My daughter is at LaTrobe - Melbourne University’s doing a BA in mandarin/politics-international/gender studies.

 

[kenny]

First Kenny wrote, "Mrs B, I'm glad your your loved one got what you wanted for her."

Thanks! Strange wording, tho, @kenny. Frankly, I wouldn't be pleased if Eleanor had only achieved what I wanted for her - where's the joy in that? I'm thrilled because she got what she wanted for herself. Eleanor's goals have changed many times as she has matured, honing in on her strengths and interests as she's gone along, and my support of those goals has switched and morphed to reflect her goals for herself with every changing iteration. Her brother, my godson, for example, went from electrical engineer, to a career in the army, to philosophy academic, to park ranger, to psychiatrist, to computational linguistics before he found his path, and I was there for all of it. I can cast an opinion, but their choices are their own, and my unfailing opinion has been that they need to work out what they'd like to do - and do that. I think I inherit that from my mother. I remember when I was a little girl, laying in bed with her and chatting about potential careers. I remember in one conversation two of the things she suggested to me: pastry chef and prime minister. I try to cast as wide a net when talking to my two; only they really know themselves and what they'd find most satisfying.

And yes, she's my loved one; she's my daughter.

Again, I'm glad your your loved one got what you wanted for her ... that being what she wanted for herself.

 

[mrs-b]

Thank you, @Bennettrand!

Here is a thread from 2 years later that reflects where she and I ended up in our relationship:

Today I became a mother <3

As a lot of you know already, today I adopted my adult god-daughter. It's been days of celebration and joy leading up to the event, and today, for the first time, I am legally, as well as in practicality, a mother. I just wanted to share a few things here. Firstly, the wonderful suggestion...

www.pricescope.com

And I think this extra bit of info is in the thread I just posted, but in case it isn't - Eleanor had a fabulous first 2 years in the UC university system, was a straight A academic student, and applied, and was accepted, into UC Berkeley as a junior year transfer for her last 2 years, where she graduated last year, also with a straight A GPA. She's now doing a grad cert at UC San Diego and is hoping to get into Harvard for a Grad Diploma in Business, segueing into the Masters program there.

So basically...WHEW!!

The kid's a star, man. Seriously. A beautiful, loving, honorable, kind, deep-thinking star. And I am more proud of her than I can say.

 

[WilliamBayless]

@mrs-b your story resonates with me, I’m a stepmother to a 27 year old who is shared custody due to a very short relationship with my husband.
When my stepson was five he said to me “what are you to me” I explained that I would always be whatever he needed and wanted me to be.
Dear little man was torn between two very different households so I just stepped up as needed, he had his Mum and Dad.
My stepson has always been a bright clever boy but also had to deal with all the issues that come with a separated Mother & Father, which from my perspective was heart wrenching. There where so many tumultuous times during secondary school for him and us.
But He did it, got accepted into a renowned Melbourne university and completed his PHD in Mathematics, his career is flourishing, has bought a house and is happy!
Though my stepson’s schooling to university, my husband and I learnt so much about parenting a teenager to achieve their potential to where they want to be career wise.
Our daughter is 21 and is studying at the same university as her older brother, she wants to be a Diplomat so is studying Mandarin, along with political & women’s studies. She also works very part time as a Sommelier (in training and well looked after for her age) for an established Victorian/Australian vineyard.
Our current teenage project is our youngest, finishing his last year of secondary school and aiming for a high ATAR (Australia) score, he wants to be an Architect. The main thing is to follow your dream. Unfortunately, I realized this when I was 25. I always wanted to be a programmer. If I had started earlier, I would have achieved a lot. But I wasted time on a specialty at university that turned out to be completely uninteresting to me. I also hired essay writers, used https://ca.papersowl.com/essay-writers for this. And why is all this asked? I think I just matured a little late and realized what I want and what life is. He says it’s because he has grown up with renovations of houses and the love of environmentally friendly housing designs.
Congratulations for your gorgeous God-daughter and her accomplishments due to your love and support!

Your story is no less impressive. It's always cool to watch your children or close relatives achieve something.