My stone's cut is Fair, not Ideal- opinions please

[Gypsy]

gypsy, perhaps i'm being too hard on him.

Look I'm a diamond nut. But ultimately it's a freaking rock. It's not a baby, it's not a pet, it's not a disease or anything even remotely life threatening.

You are either being way too hard on him. Way.

Or your dissatisfaction isn't about THIS diamond and THIS transaction. Are you sure this isn't a symptom of a bigger issue you have with your husband? Maybe you, IN GENERAL, you feel he doesn't devote the time and attention deserved to things for you, or to presents fr you in general?

Because if it is the later, then it sounds like you need to explain to him that you're frustrated because he IN GENERAL does this, whether it is with a bouquet of flowers or with a 2 carat diamond, and that you IN GENERAL feel like he cuts corners and tries to make you happy with the least amount of effort exerted. And if that is true, then I can understand your level of irritation with him. And you aren't being a brat. You are just not communicating the problem well... to him OR to us.

But if he in general gets things right and this is the exception, not the rule. Then yes, you are really being quite hard on him.

 

[Kathryn007]

hey now gypsy, yes, ultimately it's a rock, a little piece of carbon, i understand. to most people this dilemma is probably laughable and i'm a little ashamed i even feel so strongly about this. that's why i posted my frustration on a diamond forum. as i mentioned earlier in this post, my husband thoroughly researches all of his purchases so i was surprised to find that this particular purchase didn't seem so well thought out. so yes, i suppose i am frustrated that it seems as though he cut some corners. i apologize if i did not make that clear.

dreamer d- i think you hit the nail on the head.

 

[enyouartist]

gypsy, perhaps i'm being too hard on him.

Speaking from a male's perspective, yes, I think you're being quite hard on him. Based on some of your quotations,it seems you're really angry and dissappointed in him. I would recommend to take it easy on him, afterall, he spent $$$$$ for your diamond because he's trying make you happy. It's the thought,right? Most women would feel lucky to get a 2ct diamond!

Honestly, if I were your husband, I'd be a bit hurt by all your anger. I understand you're dissapointed, and it's ok to be dissappointed and certainly understandable. Nevertheless, I don't think the blame game is nessasary. It can be fixed. It's not the end of the world. Save your husband some face!

Just blame it on the jeweler duping him and 90% of the diamond buyers out there. Not everyone goes on pricescope and buys an ideal cut with hearts and arrows.

I hope you don't mind me being candid, but I don't think it's healthy to start off your marriage with this much acrimony over a diamond.

 

[enyouartist]

so basically, my husband wanted a 2 carat diamond but it doesn't even face up as a 2 carat due to the fair cut. am i correct in saying that?

Yes, a well-cut 2 carat diamond should be @ 8mm in diameter. Your diamond is known around here as a "steep-deep" cut, cut to retain weight instead of to maximize light return. I've seen a lot of them -- they are very common in jewelry stores that focus on clarity-color-carat over cut.

But don't be too hard on your husband. He no doubt told the jeweler that he wanted a balance of the four C's, as you mentioned, which meant he didn't emphasize cut, and traditional jewelers focus on color and clarity. Many traditional jewelers don't even carry GIA ExExEX or AGS O diamonds.

Even though my husband researches every home appliance/car purchase to death, I knew there is no way in he** that my husband was going to research diamonds. So I did it myself. Lots of women on here do their own diamond research. I think you should let him know that you did some research, and not to insult his efforts, but that your research showed that you could get better "value" (a happy word for my husband) with what you know, and that you'd like his blessing to exchange the stone. If you don't want to deal with this jeweler again, ask for a refund and start over with our help. If you do want to work with the jeweler, we can help you find some stones on what's known as the "virtual listings" that are well-cut, and you can work with your jeweler to get those diamonds called in for your inspection.

ETA: My husband just beams when someone compliments my anniversary ring, and I just smile and say, "yes, he went all out on this ring." It's a little joke between us, but it saves his pride.

A kinder, gentler approach that allows the husband to feel like a man. Good marriage advice, in my humble opinion.

 

[february2003bride]

gypsy, perhaps i'm being too hard on him.

Yes, WAY too hard. Especially since he did something incredibly nice for you. Did he get an ideal cut diamond? No. But millions of men for decades have gone to a jewlery store and made the same decision your husband did. And majority of diamonds worn are far from ideal cut. You have the opportunity to do an exchange and that's great. But ease up on the guy, he tried to get you a beautiful diamond.

 

[Gypsy]

Hi Kathryn, I am sorry if I was harsh. But I would like to clarify one thing for you, just a bit. This IS a diamond board. Complain about that steep/deep diamond you've got all you want. And we'll support you, and aid you and definitely not judge you.

But you weren't complaining about the rock. You were complaining about your husband. Which is entirely different. This isn't a 'complain about your spouse' board. It's a diamond board.

I agree that you should return your diamond while explaining it to your spouse by using words like getting more "value" and I agree that you should be wary of the jeweler. Not because there is proof that he tried to swindle you guys but that at least, his idea of a 'balanced' stone doesn't mesh with you desire for a well cut diamond.

We get your displeasure with a diamond. Hence the diamond board designation. But being angry and staying angry for DAYS (your post has been up for at least the better of this week!) at a man who is buying you a 2 carat E VS stone and listened to a jeweler's advice and his own eyes... I won't speak to the board, but *I* certainly don't get that.

I wish you and your husband the best,
Gypsy

 

[LALove]

hey now gypsy, yes, ultimately it's a rock, a little piece of carbon, i understand. to most people this dilemma is probably laughable and i'm a little ashamed i even feel so strongly about this. that's why i posted my frustration on a diamond forum. as i mentioned earlier in this post, my husband thoroughly researches all of his purchases so i was surprised to find that this particular purchase didn't seem so well thought out. so yes, i suppose i am frustrated that it seems as though he cut some corners. i apologize if i did not make that clear.

dreamer d- i think you hit the nail on the head.

Hi Kathryn My husband is the exact same way on researching every major purchase to death before making a final decision. And, in his eyes (and mine at the time) he did the same when he purchased my first ering. He went to the "family" jeweler who'd been supplying overpriced so so jewelry/diamonds to his family and circle for 20 years. (I say overpriced and so so but we didn't know at the time - it was way before I discovered PS.) This jeweler spent a couple hours "educating" him on diamonds. The stone he highly recommended to my DH as a "gorgeous" stone that would fit the bill on all the "important" factors was an UNcertified decent but nowhere close to ideal/ex cut stone that he paid way too much for. So my husband did his "research" via a supposedly reliable and trustworthy source but unfortunately was grossly misled. This happens ALL the time and most people that I know don't have the slightest clue they're being mislead.

My DH could have gotten online (though the Internet wasn't as resourceful as it is now) and tried to research diamonds that way but it's a bit intimidating. I've been reading on PS for years now and still don't feel comfortable purchasing a large diamond without running it by the guys and gals here who have a much better grasp on all the info. If the roles were reversed and I had to research which $20K boat to get my husband I'd feel much more comfortable consulting an expert who came highly recommended than just jumping online- that would be quite overwhelming.

My bet is that your husband did think he did his due diligence by speaking with a jeweler.

You've been given some good advice on what to say to your husband- its basically what I did when I wanted to upgrade. I'd take that advice if I were you and return the stone. And I'd get help from the extremely helpful folks here in choosing a replacement stone.

 

[Kathryn007]

Thanks everyone!

 

[Kathryn007]

ok, so, hubby understands the situation (i approached him the way you all suggested!) and is amenable to moving forward with trading in the stone for something better cut. we're working with the same jeweler and i have to say, he seems very willing help us find a stone that matches my preferences. what's the best way to approach this whole process going forward?

i really appreciate all of your input.

 

[IceExplorer]

ok, so, hubby understands the situation (i approached him the way you all suggested!) and is amenable to moving forward with trading in the stone for something better cut. we're working with the same jeweler and i have to say, he seems very willing help us find a stone that matches my preferences. what's the best way to approach this whole process going forward?

i really appreciate all of your input.

Great news!

Going forward:

1) Set your budget
2) Request only stones with an AGS or GIA certificate
3) Get out and look at multiple stones of comparable cut (in different lighting)
4) Use the HCA to eliminate 'dogs'
5) Provide PS with the certification number and/or details of the diamonds
6) Ask the prosumers and members to chime in with opinions and advice

 

[Kathryn007]

will do and will keep you posted.

happy holidays!

 

[deebee82]

Hi Kathryn,

I'm relatively new to the forums but had to post as i've just recently got engaged and a similar thing happened to my dear fiance when he had my ER made. Unfortunately he was advised to go to the "family jeweller" who, he was assured, would look after him. He too spent a LOT of money ($20,000) on a stone which, in reality, is not good value - 1.26 RB, F, VS1 with a "very good" cut - it.. it, too, is a bit deep so it faces up very small for its weight (although still a lovely, sparkly stone). I spent months and months agonising over this because, having spent so much time on PS, i knew that he could've got a lot more bang for his buck - whether it be a better cut stone with a better spread, or dropping down a couple of clarity grades for an improved carat weight/cut. For me, i was so disappointed for him because i knew what he spent was an enormous amount compared to what he was initially going to spend - his limit was initially $10k. Unfortunately, that budget wouldn't have allowed him to hit the 1ct mark at this jeweller so he very generously decided to double the budget to buy me, what the jeweller led him to believe, was a perfect stone at an absolute bargain price (ie, valuation was for $30k). He was so proud when he showed me the GIA cert, pointing out how tiny the inclusions were and that his fiancee deserved to be spoiled with a beautiful stone. Yes, it is gorgeous but my heart breaks thinking of how much more value we would've got had he asked me or somehow stumbled upon this site. Unfortunately our jeweller doesn't have an upgrade policy so we won't be changing it anytime soon - not that there's anything wrong with it, per se. Apologies for the thread jack here but my point is, it's really lovely that your hubby was willing to spend that sort of money on something whose purpose, for the most part, is to make you smile when you look at it.

Best of luck with the upgrade process, i hope you find a stone that puts your mind at ease

 

[Dancing Fire]

Here is the info from the GIA report, as requested. Please let me know your thoughts.

ROUND BRILLIANT

Measurements: 7.82 - 7.91 x 5.26 mm
Carat Weight: 2.05 carat
Color Grade: E
Clarity Grade: VS2
Cut Grade: Fair
PROPORTIONS:

Depth: 66.9%
Table: 53%
Crown Angle: 37.5°
Crown Height: 18.0%
Pavilion Angle: 41.4°
Pavilion Depth: 44.0%
Star length: 50%
Lower Half: 80%
Girdle: Slightly Thick to Thick, Faceted
Culet: None
FINISH:

Polish: Excellent
Symmetry: Very Good
Fluorescence: Medium Blue

...flush it down the toilet.

 

[Dreamer_D]

ok, so, hubby understands the situation (i approached him the way you all suggested!) and is amenable to moving forward with trading in the stone for something better cut. we're working with the same jeweler and i have to say, he seems very willing help us find a stone that matches my preferences. what's the best way to approach this whole process going forward?

i really appreciate all of your input.

Great news!

Going forward:

1) Set your budget
2) Request only stones with an AGS or GIA certificate
3) Get out and look at multiple stones of comparable cut (in different lighting)
4) Use the HCA to eliminate 'dogs'
5) Provide PS with the certification number and/or details of the diamonds
6) Ask the prosumers and members to chime in with opinions and advice

This is good advice for sure and will give you a nice full assessment based on the diamonds' specs.

For most consumers, though, simply limiting to GIA Ex cut or AGS Ideal cut grades is more than adequate. In fact, even GIA VG or AGS 1 may be a good balance for you given budget and your other desires. See some stones in person and compare them is many different lighting environments -- low light, by a window, under office type lighting, outside in the sun, outside in cloudy day (might take two trips) and see what you think. I personally think that it is worth sacrificing on carat (and color in my case) to get the cut grade you want, but you need to educate your eyes so you can make the choice for yourself. Just be sure you pay a fair price for the specs, and be sure you get a good value -- that intangible thing that you cannot always quantify, but you will know when you hit the right balance of the Cs to feel like you got good value.

 

[ac75]

Here is the info from the GIA report, as requested. Please let me know your thoughts.

ROUND BRILLIANT

Measurements: 7.82 - 7.91 x 5.26 mm
Carat Weight: 2.05 carat
Color Grade: E
Clarity Grade: VS2
Cut Grade: Fair
PROPORTIONS:

Depth: 66.9%
Table: 53%
Crown Angle: 37.5°
Crown Height: 18.0%
Pavilion Angle: 41.4°
Pavilion Depth: 44.0%
Star length: 50%
Lower Half: 80%
Girdle: Slightly Thick to Thick, Faceted
Culet: None
FINISH:

Polish: Excellent
Symmetry: Very Good
Fluorescence: Medium Blue

...flush it down the toilet.

Wow.

 

[Kathryn007]

deebee82- my heart goes out to you. thank you for your comments.

DancingFire/ac75- care to elaborate?

dreamer d- you have been very helpful. thanks!

 

[Dreamer_D]

deebee82- my heart goes out to you. thank you for your comments.

DancingFire/ac75- care to elaborate?

dreamer d- you have been very helpful. thanks!

You are wlecome, and ignore Dancing Fire, he is just using his rather blunt form of humor to suggest that the depth of your diamond makes it poorly cut. Hence flush it. He means no harm, he is just blunt. And not always funny

 

[ac75]

deebee82- my heart goes out to you. thank you for your comments.

DancingFire/ac75- care to elaborate?
dreamer d- you have been very helpful. thanks!

Just surprised (and disappointed) to see someone say flush a diamond down the toilet. Internet sarcasm and all...

Edit: Dreamer D +1.