Name Change: What Did You Do?

[RaiKai]

Wow lilac!

I had a different last name growing up in my house than my mother, stepfather (my primary guardians) and one of my step-siblings...two siblings had the same last name as I, and we never had such complications...except when it came to others addressing envelopes to our home as they would run out of room, ha! If we add my other siblings and stepparents that I did not live with there were 5 last names between us all!

I also have a few peers who have not changed their names and their children have the fathers last names and they have not had such issues, even where not married and so on.

As brazen said - maybe it depends on the area!?!

 

[pancake]

I'm not changing my name. I come from a cultural background where women don't change their name, and also my name belongs to that cultural heritage and I think my first name would look/sound funny with my husband's (oooooh...silly squeee moment where I realise I have a "husband"! Apologies, it has only been 3 weeks)!

Our kids will have his surname. I'm not going to be militant - I won't care if eg. my future kids' school refers to me as Mrs [husband-name] - but legally and professionally I'm keeping it as is. Plus, we are in the same profession working at the same institution and I think it would be confusing!

There is definitely a precedent in his family: his mother and his sister-in-law have both kept their names too!

 

[kama_s]

I am in a weird transition state between my original last name and my new hyphenated last name. Changed some government records to the hyphenated, but not all. My SIN and passport still have my original name!

More importantly, however, my second author publication was accepted and sent out with my new hyphenated name last week. So I suppose it has been changed where it matters the most

 

[Liane]

Yesss I get to post on this board and not be an interloper now.

I kept my name. Changing it was never really an option. All my degrees, professional certifications, contracts, etc. are in my name, so it would be a hassle. It would feel alien, too. To me, "Mrs. HisName" will always refer to MIL; it would be super weird for that to suddenly mean me. (I don''t even want to be "Mrs. MyName." Being a "Mrs." just feels so frumpy. Gotta say, I''m not a fan of that part.)

Anyway, I''m pretty comfortable in my own name and never felt any desire to change, so I didn''t.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/26/2010 4:00:51 PM
Author: Liane
Yesss I get to post on this board and not be an interloper now.

I kept my name. Changing it was never really an option. All my degrees, professional certifications, contracts, etc. are in my name, so it would be a hassle. It would feel alien, too. To me, 'Mrs. HisName' will always refer to MIL; it would be super weird for that to suddenly mean me. (I don't even want to be 'Mrs. MyName.' Being a 'Mrs.' just feels so frumpy. Gotta say, I'm not a fan of that part.)



Anyway, I'm pretty comfortable in my own name and never felt any desire to change, so I didn't.

Ha, yes my MIL does NOT have the same last name as DH so I did not need to worry about that! I could see how that would feel...odd. Indeed the only other one I know with the same last name is SIL, and she is not married...so not Mrs. anything there! I am the only one.

All my professional certifications/degrees are in my maiden name too. I do admit it was a total hassle to change it all. A pain in the ass actually. And it costs money to get new passports, new drivers licenses (never mind my poor work who had to incur the costs to change ALL the signage, letterhead, business cards, signing authorities and so on per professional body requirements). There are still things that have to get changed. Since it takes me months and years to update addresses...I figure it should be done over the next ten years. Somehow though most people seem to have figured out the change quite quickly. Still, I don't understand why my sister went through all that hassle just to change her last name just for the sake of it. She decided she just no longer wanted my father's last name (long story) so just changed it. I think she should have just waited to get married to her SO for a very cool last name (hint....it is the same name as a big sparkly popular rock on these forums!).

Now it feels very comfortable to have this last name. I never thought much of it beforehand, but it's a strong name...stronger than my maiden name....the first time I had to introduce myself in court under the new name I got a little flutter as it sounds so much more "lawyerly" than the old one - maybe it is the one syllable that does it - ha!

The only other hassle is that some people are not sure how to pronounce it as their is a silent letter in there. There was no problems with my maiden name as my maiden name was a first name for many people. However, I expected the problems....as DH had told me the numerous variations he has heard over the years. Even ones that have nothing to do with the silent letter. I find it kind of entertaining as that never happened with the old name. Sometimes they don't even try. Then again, people often thought my old name was a first name....so I guess there were pros and cons either way.

No one really calls me Mrs. though! Even before I was married I was never really called Miss/Ms....since I have always preferred people just call me by my first name. I do think being called Mrs. on a regular basis WOULD be a bit odd for me. I feel too young to be a Mrs.!

 

[Octavia]

Date: 5/26/2010 4:00:51 PM
Author: Liane
Yesss I get to post on this board and not be an interloper now.

I kept my name. Changing it was never really an option. All my degrees, professional certifications, contracts, etc. are in my name, so it would be a hassle. It would feel alien, too. To me, 'Mrs. HisName' will always refer to MIL; it would be super weird for that to suddenly mean me. (I don't even want to be 'Mrs. MyName.' Being a 'Mrs.' just feels so frumpy. Gotta say, I'm not a fan of that part.)


Anyway, I'm pretty comfortable in my own name and never felt any desire to change, so I didn't.

Ha, I hate being called "Mrs" too! Hate, hate, hate it. I'm totally a "Ms," always have been and always will be. My marital status is nobody's business unless I choose to tell them, particularly in my professional life. I mind being called "Mrs. Either of our Names" far, far more than I mind being called "Octavia HisLast." **Shudders**

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I argue playfully with DH that the kids should have my last name as it's more ethnically fitting (we're both asian, but he was adopted).

When we have kids, they'll have both English and Chinese names. The english last name will be my hubby's and the chinese last name will be mine. I think that's fair.

I don't mind if some people in his family or future teacher's call me Mrs. DH on accident, it's not a big deal. But if they call me Dr. DH I will absolutely correct them, I worked too darn hard for him to get that credit! Haha. Totally childish I know, but what can I say.

Yeah, I"m the black sheep of a wife in his family. All his brothers wives changed names.

 

[UnderBlue]

Date: 5/24/2010 7:05:51 PM
Author: kittybean
I kept my name. Like MTG, I found I was really attached to it! It''s kind of crazy and unpronounceable, but it''s mine. I like that it''s a direct link to my heritage--one of the few I feel I have since I didn''t marry someone from the same background.


Lately, though, I''ve been thinking a lot about making the change. There are so many great reasons to do it, but I''m hesitant because of the things I mentioned above. I am so torn. Ugh.

Stay yourself. Don''t give in to the misogyny. I see no good reasons to do it, let alone great ones.

I shouldn''t have even come into this thread becasue this subject gets me so riled up.

I''m really hoping, in my lifetime, we will reach a point where it''s assumed a women *isn''t* changing her name when she gets married.

It''s such a sexist, biased and unfair practice that we''ve all been told is totally normal and acceptable. Men aren''t conditioned from birth that they should change their name when they get married. Men don''t face partners who pressure them and even get angry becasue he wants to keep his name. I seriously doubt any men contemplate changing their names when they decide to get engaged or married.

If it makes you a family to have the same last name, why doesn''t he change his? Does that mean you''re no longer a family with your parents and siblings since you don''t have the same last name anymore?

If you don''t like your last name, then change it now! Why wait until you''re married and just take whatever name comes along with your husband when you could pick a meaningful name or family name.

Spanish cultures get by just fine without the women changing their names and with kids having two last names.

I''m obviously attached to my name. It''s my name and it''s who I''ve been for almost 30 years. There''s no way in hell I''m changing it and my FI would actually change his name before asking me to change mine. Our pets will get by just fine with dual last names.

 

[Clairitek]

I hyphenated. I thought about doing nothing and then I decided to change it to his and take my maiden as a middle. Then I went to the SS office and started to fill out the paperwork. When I was staring down the barrel of the gun (I mean... trying to fill out the form) I realized I just. Couldn't. Do. It. I walked out of the SS office BAWLING. The guard must have thought I was totally bonkers. I called my mother and talked to her about it. Part of wanted to "honor" my husband and marriage by changing my name to his and the other part of me felt like I would disappoint my father my dropping my maiden name. Though he had never told me that, I knew his views on the tradition were not entirely positive. In fact, he has encouraged my mother to go back to her maiden name (they are still very married) if she wanted to because he thinks its nuts that women are expected to change their names. So after a long sobbing conversation with my mother I decided to just sleep on it (mind you, this was 5 months after our wedding). By the time I had gotten down to the state where I work I had resolved to hyphenate. I wasn't happy just staying my maiden name and I wasn't happy dropping that as my legal last name either. The final part was my husband agreeing to our children having a hyphenated last name. Once that was worked out I filled out the paperwork to be Claire Maiden-Married. I didn't have a middle name before so I added my mother's maiden name as my middle. So now it almost sounds like I have THREE last names. My one journal publication is under my married name because it was finalized after I got married.

The one person who put NO PRESSURE on me AT ALL was my husband. It's not like my father put pressure on me, but my relationship with him is very special to me and I knew he would feel a little sad to see me change my name. My husband hasn't had an opinion since the start. Well, he did. His opinion was that he wouldn't be changing his name!

The only thing that has bothered me since making the choice is the feedback from my friends. I've heard it all!

"I feel like we are more of a family with the same last name."
"I wanted to honor my marriage by changing my last name."
"Its totally acceptable to address mail to you as Mrs HisFirst HisLast even if I know you changed your name to Mrs Claire Maiden-Married! Its the SAME THING!"
"You're not a Mrs if you didn't totally change your name!" (actually, this MIGHT be true? Not sure... I've tried to research it but I consider myself a Mrs if I am married!)

I know I shouldn't let what they say/think bother me, but it honestly does. I suppose its hurtful to think that they consider me less married or less of a family with my husband since I didn't take his last name as my sole last name. Apparently hyphenating isn't any change at all in their book.

ETA: Just wanted to say that, while this topic gets me really riled up and I get defensive about my choice (due to the comments I quoted above), I in no way think less of a woman who changes her name to her husband's name. Women who do that are just as entitled to do so as I was to hyphenate. Its such a personal choice.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/26/2010 9:10:19 PM
Author: UnderBlue

Date: 5/24/2010 7:05:51 PM

Author: kittybean

I kept my name. Like MTG, I found I was really attached to it! It''s kind of crazy and unpronounceable, but it''s mine. I like that it''s a direct link to my heritage--one of the few I feel I have since I didn''t marry someone from the same background.





Lately, though, I''ve been thinking a lot about making the change. There are so many great reasons to do it, but I''m hesitant because of the things I mentioned above. I am so torn. Ugh.

Stay yourself. Don''t give in to the misogyny. I see no good reasons to do it, let alone great ones.



I shouldn''t have even come into this thread becasue this subject gets me so riled up.



I''m really hoping, in my lifetime, we will reach a point where it''s assumed a women *isn''t* changing her name when she gets married.



It''s such a sexist, biased and unfair practice that we''ve all been told is totally normal and acceptable. Men aren''t conditioned from birth that they should change their name when they get married. Men don''t face partners who pressure them and even get angry becasue he wants to keep his name. I seriously doubt any men contemplate changing their names when they decide to get engaged or married.



If it makes you a family to have the same last name, why doesn''t he change his? Does that mean you''re no longer a family with your parents and siblings since you don''t have the same last name anymore?



If you don''t like your last name, then change it now! Why wait until you''re married and just take whatever name comes along with your husband when you could pick a meaningful name or family name.



Spanish cultures get by just fine without the women changing their names and with kids having two last names.



I''m obviously attached to my name. It''s my name and it''s who I''ve been for almost 30 years. There''s no way in hell I''m changing it and my FI would actually change his name before asking me to change mine. Our pets will get by just fine with dual last names.

By the same token why should I keep the name of my father? It is no less patriarchial. I also have my mothers maiden name as a middle name but when I was born I was given my fathers as my last. That often seems far more automatically done!

In Quebec women cannot change their name as the provincial government decided for the sake of equality women should not be able to do so just as they marry. Many I know from there wish they had the *choice*.

I had no pressure to change my name from either my DH or family. I come from a rather untraditional family with lots of different relationships and DH and I do not have traditional roles. Lots of women in my family - mother included - have kept their maiden name. Many were surprised I did change it. Even DH was.

I *chose* to change my name. I made that choice with full awareness of the historical context, the expectations and so on and at the end of the day did what fit for *me*. I took womens studies too..he he. Having the choice is a wonderful thing. For most of my life I never thought I would change it and I liked having that choice too! I do not think either choice is wrong and one can be free to make their own choice without taking anothers away or getting riled up about it or assuming the other is unaware of their choice!

Sure I could have changed it before marriage - as my sister did - but I did not want to. I did not want to change it just to change it. And I like DHs last name - it worked for me!

The only *good reason* I needed was I *wanted* to. And I am just as much *me* with this name as I was with my maiden name. I had my maiden name for 31 years and I am more than my name. And no I did not stop being family with my siblings and so on - many of us have never shared the same name and have always been *family*.

Just as I can find that marriage - despite its patriarchal connections - can work for me in a way that fits for me...so can a name change!

 

[iheartscience]

Well since you asked, RaiKai: in my opinion taking your husband''s last name is more patriarchal than just keeping the name you were born with. It''s a choice to accept the patriarchal norm, whereas being born and named as a child isn''t a choice.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/26/2010 10:19:45 PM
Author: thing2of2
Well since you asked, RaiKai: in my opinion taking your husband''s last name is more patriarchal than just keeping the name you were born with. It''s a choice to accept the patriarchal norm, whereas being born and named as a child isn''t a choice.

Ah but that was my point. I did not have choice as a child. I was not *born* with a name. I was *given* a name. It was almost automatically given to me as it was my fathers name. This is often the case. Now I do have choice - be it to change it from my fathers or to change it to my husbands.

And I do not consider myself less *empowered* or giving into patriarchial norms for making that choice.

There are matriarchial societies with the naming after mothers...do people there I wonder get up in arms about that?!?!

Again, I enjoy being able to exercise my option to have a choice!

 

[RaiKai]

As an aside - my brother and his partner are a gay couple who are engaged. My brothers FI wants to change his name to my brothers last name when they get married. Would this be *giving* into patriarchy or is this exercising a choice that works for them?

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/26/2010 10:37:05 PM
Author: RaiKai

Date: 5/26/2010 10:19:45 PM

Author: thing2of2

Well since you asked, RaiKai: in my opinion taking your husband''s last name is more patriarchal than just keeping the name you were born with. It''s a choice to accept the patriarchal norm, whereas being born and named as a child isn''t a choice.

Ah but that was my point. I did not have choice as a child. I was not *born* with a name. I was *given* a name. It was almost automatically given to me as it was my fathers name. This is often the case. Now I do have choice - be it to change it from my fathers or to change it to my husbands.



And I do not consider myself less *empowered* or giving into patriarchial norms for making that choice.



There are matriarchial societies with the naming after mothers...do people there I wonder get up in arms about that?!?!



Again, I enjoy being able to exercise my option to have a choice!

I should add that when I was 7 - after my parents divorced - I was given a choice to change my name to my mothers maiden name, to hyphenate, keep my fathers and so on. At that time I chose to keep my fathers name and added my mothers maiden as another middle name. So I did have a choice once i was a little older!

 

[elrohwen]

I changed. My maiden name was ok, but I liked DH''s as well and I like the tradition of having one name to share with our kids. I wasn''t very far along professionally and wanted to get into a different industry anyway, so the name didn''t matter so much. Also, I want to get into DH''s profession, so sharing a name with him makes me more identifiable at his company. Both of our names are quite rare, but his is easier to pronounce and spell (even though mine only had 5 letters) so I do like that part of it. At the end of the day, I''m with Haven - my identity isn''t in my name, so I didn''t see any reason not to change it. I totally respect women who keep their names and I can see a lot of reasons why they would make that choice.

We''ve been married 8 months and I have most things changed over - my passport is the big one I haven''t done, but I don''t need it until November so I''ve put it off. I never thought of changing it on my degree - did most of you call your college and ask them to change it in their records?

I do get to hear my maiden name occasionally - we have a mutual friend from college who has always called me by my last name (as guys sometimes do) and he still calls me by my maiden name. Sometimes he''ll stop himself and remember that''s not my name, but then decides to call me it anyway. Haha

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/26/2010 11:18:51 PM
Author: elrohwen
I changed. My maiden name was ok, but I liked DH''s as well and I like the tradition of having one name to share with our kids. I wasn''t very far along professionally and wanted to get into a different industry anyway, so the name didn''t matter so much. Also, I want to get into DH''s profession, so sharing a name with him makes me more identifiable at his company. Both of our names are quite rare, but his is easier to pronounce and spell (even though mine only had 5 letters) so I do like that part of it. At the end of the day, I''m with Haven - my identity isn''t in my name, so I didn''t see any reason not to change it. I totally respect women who keep their names and I can see a lot of reasons why they would make that choice.



We''ve been married 8 months and I have most things changed over - my passport is the big one I haven''t done, but I don''t need it until November so I''ve put it off. I never thought of changing it on my degree - did most of you call your college and ask them to change it in their records?



I do get to hear my maiden name occasionally - we have a mutual friend from college who has always called me by my last name (as guys sometimes do) and he still calls me by my maiden name. Sometimes he''ll stop himself and remember that''s not my name, but then decides to call me it anyway. Haha

I did not change any degrees or the like, just reported the change to my professional body as required.

I don''t even think my universities and so on would reissue a certificate for a name change. But I never asked as I received them under my maiden name after all!

I do not think you need to worry about it.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 5/26/2010 11:43:15 PM
Author: RaiKai

I did not change any degrees or the like, just reported the change to my professional body as required.


I don't even think my universities and so on would reissue a certificate for a name change. But I never asked as I received them under my maiden name after all!


I do not think you need to worry about it.

Ok, that's what I thought originally, but then so many here mentioned getting their name changed on degrees so I wondered if that was done. Thanks.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I changed my name because I wanted to. I feel like we''re more of a family "unit" if we all have the same last name and I like being called Mrs. DH''s name.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/27/2010 8:49:02 AM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 5/26/2010 11:43:15 PM

Author: RaiKai


I did not change any degrees or the like, just reported the change to my professional body as required.



I don''t even think my universities and so on would reissue a certificate for a name change. But I never asked as I received them under my maiden name after all!



I do not think you need to worry about it.

Ok, that''s what I thought originally, but then so many here mentioned getting their name changed on degrees so I wondered if that was done. Thanks.

I know I was one of those referred to my degrees...but that was in the context that they were all in my maiden name. Not that I had to change them.

For some professions, having a different name on your degrees and certifications can make things a bit more complicated as it makes it more difficult for people to search for you, verify you, and the like. I guess they might look at the degree hanging on your wall and see a different name. Certainly my profession is one where one''s name can become very identifiable (either positively or negatively!) so a name change can throw people for a loop! I did it anyway as it was still early enough in this career (my second or third?) that it would be a minor blip and though my married name is different than the name I had when I got those degrees, it does not change the fact that I DID obtain those degrees and certifications!

 

[Octavia]

My law school will re-issue our diplomas if we change our names -- for a fee, of course. It''s mainly cosmetic, so the document on the wall matches what clients call you. If DH and I ever change our names, you better believe I''m making him pay for a new one...he had six months to make ip his mind before I finalized the info. All I would have to do, though, is ensure that I practice under the name on my professional license.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/26/2010 10:37:05 PM
Author: RaiKai

Date: 5/26/2010 10:19:45 PM

Author: thing2of2

Well since you asked, RaiKai: in my opinion taking your husband''s last name is more patriarchal than just keeping the name you were born with. It''s a choice to accept the patriarchal norm, whereas being born and named as a child isn''t a choice.

Ah but that was my point. I did not have choice as a child. I was not *born* with a name. I was *given* a name. It was almost automatically given to me as it was my fathers name. This is often the case. Now I do have choice - be it to change it from my fathers or to change it to my husbands.

And I do not consider myself less *empowered* or giving into patriarchial norms for making that choice.

There are matriarchial societies with the naming after mothers...do people there I wonder get up in arms about that?!?!

Again, I enjoy being able to exercise my option to have a choice!

Well of course you''re given a name, but growing up that name is all most women know. The vast majority of people aren''t given a choice to change their name at age 7. And as for matriarchal societies, there actually aren''t any true matriarchal societies. Some cultures go by a matriarchal naming practice, and maybe the people living in those do get up in arms. But since I live in a patriarchal society, that''s what I think about.

You had the choice, and in the end you chose to go with the patriarchal norm. I don''t think you''re less empowered and I don''t think I implied that in my response to your question. (But at the same time, conversations like this make me think of Charlotte in Sex and the City saying "I choose my choice!" over and over again when she quits the job she loves because most of the married women she knows did the same thing. It''s not that much of a choice when there is SO MUCH social pressure to do something one way.)

Women should do what they want. It only really bothers me when women take their husband''s last name because he pressures them to do so. And that seems to happen pretty often. Of course the "We''re more of a FAMILY" comments are ridiculous, too, but stupid comments don''t really get me that riled up.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/27/2010 4:37:39 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 5/26/2010 10:37:05 PM

Author: RaiKai

Date: 5/26/2010 10:19:45 PM


Author: thing2of2


Well since you asked, RaiKai: in my opinion taking your husband's last name is more patriarchal than just keeping the name you were born with. It's a choice to accept the patriarchal norm, whereas being born and named as a child isn't a choice.

Ah but that was my point. I did not have choice as a child. I was not *born* with a name. I was *given* a name. It was almost automatically given to me as it was my fathers name. This is often the case. Now I do have choice - be it to change it from my fathers or to change it to my husbands.


And I do not consider myself less *empowered* or giving into patriarchial norms for making that choice.


There are matriarchial societies with the naming after mothers...do people there I wonder get up in arms about that?!?!


Again, I enjoy being able to exercise my option to have a choice!

Well of course you're given a name, but growing up that name is all most women know. The vast majority of people aren't given a choice to change their name at age 7. And as for matriarchal societies, there actually aren't any true matriarchal societies. Some cultures go by a matriarchal naming practice, and maybe the people living in those do get up in arms. But since I live in a patriarchal society, that's what I think about.


You had the choice, and in the end you chose to go with the patriarchal norm. I don't think you're less empowered and I don't think I implied that in my response to your question. (But at the same time, conversations like this make me think of Charlotte in Sex and the City saying 'I choose my choice!' over and over again when she quits the job she loves because most of the married women she knows did the same thing. It's not that much of a choice when there is SO MUCH social pressure to do something one way.)


Women should do what they want. It only really bothers me when women take their husband's last name because he pressures them to do so. And that seems to happen pretty often. Of course the 'We're more of a FAMILY' comments are ridiculous, too, but stupid comments don't really get me that riled up.

I *do* get where you are coming from. For the record, for years I was adamant I would never change my name for many reasons. Honestly, if I had married earlier or one of my past ex's....I likely would never have changed it.

What I am saying is the description of making that choice as you described does not fit for me. My decision to change was made in the context of me marrying my husband...it was the decision that was right for me in THIS context and in THIS relationship. At another time and place - in another context or another relationship, I may have made an entirely different decision. Indeed, I likely would have in the past.

I think we can both agree that women should do what they want.

There are of course predominant social expectations - there are social expectations essentially for every action, choice, opinion, thought, and so forth in life. That is part of the nature of living in a social group! Making choices can be paralyzing if we think about all those pressures. But it was not a pressure I received from anyone in my family (based on my own family's relationship or a attitude towards last names) nor was it a social pressure that *I* personally felt as I made my choice. I have to also say in my own profession the expectations are to NOT change one's name. But that is another matter.

So I don't disagree there are social pressures, and I don't disagree that my end choice was one that can appear to have conformed to the "expected choice" in its final results, but I don't think that everyone who changes their name (or does not change their name) does it out of a simple response (either with or against) to social pressure. The final result may appear to indicate a person either went for or against a certain expectation on its face...but the process itself to arrive there is often not that simple. I don't assume that those who have chosen not to change their name are automatically giving social pressures a big F.U. either! There have always been (blessedly) free thinkers in this world who march to their own drum. I would not give myself that sort of credit...but I would say that I long ago stopped worrying about what I *should* or *should not* do in others eyes.

I don't think you insinuated that I was not empowered, that was more of a general statement towards a couple other comments on the thread.

 

[RaiKai]

And with that I think I am done posting on this one...ha ha!

I do find this is a rather hot topic - I have been through my life on both sides of the fence about it and have found it to be a rather complex issue wherever you stand!

 

[Amanda.Rx]

I want to change my last name to his- I''m just dreading the process. Right now, I''m trying to get licensed for my board exams and I''m starting a new job and moving, so I feel like things are a little too hectic right now to throw in a name change. I''m *mostly* afraid that I would show up for my board exam and they would deny me because my name doesn''t match my application. Then I would have to wait MONTHS to retake it. So, I''m at least waiting for that to be over. Booo.

 

[zhuzhu]

I didn''t change my name - I told people that is it for professional reasons: publications, certifications, titles.... etc. The truth is even if I had none of that to worry about I still wouldn''t change it. My family is just as valid as his, and I really don''t get the point of wife changing name to husband''s.

 

[bee*]

I will change mine eventually but I haven''t gotten around to it yet. I will probably keep my maiden name professionally but will take DH''s surname socially.

 

[ladypirate]

We are both hyphenating our names to MyLast-HisLast. I was totally fine with neither of us changing and told him so but I wasn''t willing to change mine if he didn''t change his. It was important to him to have one family name, so after researching several options, that''s what we''re doing. It means we will both have long names (30 total characters for him and 33 for me including first, middle and last) but I think it''s going to be really cool.

He came in the other day with all the paperwork on how it works in our state and was really excited about it. I just about melted it was so sweet.

Only 6 weeks left!

 

[Dandi]

id=ms__id826>Date: 5/29/2010 9:43:01 AM
Author: bee*
I will change mine eventually but I haven''t gotten around to it yet. I will probably keep my maiden name professionally but will take DH''s surname socially.

Exactly what I did, at work I kept my maiden name, and in every other aspect of life I took his name. So I''m Mrs MarriedName but Sister MaidenName

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 5/30/2010 12:30:59 PM
Author: ladypirate
We are both hyphenating our names to MyLast-HisLast. I was totally fine with neither of us changing and told him so but I wasn''t willing to change mine if he didn''t change his. It was important to him to have one family name, so after researching several options, that''s what we''re doing. It means we will both have long names (30 total characters for him and 33 for me including first, middle and last) but I think it''s going to be really cool.

He came in the other day with all the paperwork on how it works in our state and was really excited about it. I just about melted it was so sweet.

Only 6 weeks left!

Color me jealous of you and K! Glad he is being so proactive about it.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/30/2010 12:30:59 PM
Author: ladypirate
We are both hyphenating our names to MyLast-HisLast. I was totally fine with neither of us changing and told him so but I wasn''t willing to change mine if he didn''t change his. It was important to him to have one family name, so after researching several options, that''s what we''re doing. It means we will both have long names (30 total characters for him and 33 for me including first, middle and last) but I think it''s going to be really cool.


He came in the other day with all the paperwork on how it works in our state and was really excited about it. I just about melted it was so sweet.


Only 6 weeks left!

There were professors at my school that did this. Such a great option! I''m so happy that K is so excited about this. I knew I liked him for a reason.