Need an honest opinion - would this be too whack??

[kama_s]

Sooo...this month we're going to be working on our vows. Now, everyone knows I am not a very sentimental/mushy person, whereas Mr. Kama makes the best heartfelt and touching toasts. So this whole saying deep thoughts infront of everyone is totally freaking the living daylights out of me. We decided to say a few words and follow it up with a poem. Mr. Kama already has a poem he loves - it's about a husband serenading his wife on their wedding day. I honestly can't see myself saying mushy words and then a mushy poem....

so I found this poem. Please tell me honestly if you think it would be inappropriate at a ceremony. Our ceremony is going to be short and sweet, very informal and non-religious, in a park overlooking a lake.

Yes, I'll Marry You
Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.
Yes I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.
Yes, I'll marry you,
You're handsome and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

I will also say a few heartfelt lines but finish up with this poem to lighten the mood. I feel as though people will think it's totally something I would do/say, I guess my distinct personality would be reflected well with the poem. But if I'm being nutso, please feel free to call me on it. What do you wise girls say???

P.S.: The poem has been altered by a tiny bit.

 

[neatfreak]

I think if the wedding is small and people will say "That''s SO Kama!" go for it. I think it''s cute but if it''s a large wedding with lots of people who don''t know you well (especially if they are older) they might find it odd.

But I say go for it-it''s cute.

 

[kama_s]

Thanks for your opinion, Neatfreak! There will be around 50 people at the wedding (excluding us and our immediate family, i.e., parents and siblings). I think around 70% would definitely say 'that's so Kama', I dont know the rest 30% well but my FI's family is quite quirky and fun loving, so I hope it's something they would enjoy.

ETA: Neither of us are lucky enough to have grandparents be present at our wedding, so there wouldn't be any older guests.

 

[Squirrly]

i like the poem a lot! if it is something that you feel represents who you are and from what it sounds like the majority of the people attending know your personality, then go for it. if most of the people there know that saying something overly mushy/romantic just isn''t you, and you''d feel awkward doing so, this poem sounds just right, and this is your day after all

 

[Clairitek]

I think that poem is a really great idea. Its situations like this where a smaller wedding comes in handy. Like Neatfreak said, you might not be able to get away with this if you were in front of 200 of your not-so-closest friends and family but if its a smaller group who "get" you then I think it would go over well.

I''d love to see the look on your FI''s face when you''re reading this.

 

[mrscushion]

I think it''s really cute and funny and I would love it if I were a guest. Given that it''s a small wedding with people who mostly know you, I''d totally go for it.

 

[lucyandroger]

I think it''s super cute! As a guest, I''d appreciate the quirky ceremony..makes it interesting!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Uhm, I''ll be honest. I don''t like it. No offense. Seems a bit too light-hearted to me, given the occasion, but perhaps I am becoming old and losing my sense of humor.

What does Mr. Kama think about it?

 

[tlh]

I dont know. If it is like, OMG this is soo me! yes, go for it.

I personally get very serious about weddings and marriage... and about what they signify. I am a huge sap AT WEDDINGS... normally I am just a big time jokester... but it is about gauranteed that I''ll be snotting up crying at weddings...I always do. But I usually hide in the back, so no big deal... which is why I hate being a bridesmaid... holding those flowers... snotting everywhere, turning bright purple trying my hardest not to cry in front of 200+ people. It sucks when everyone finds out that you are such a softie! But normally, I tell jokes, I NEVER cry, and most people don''t know how stupid teary-eyed I get at weddings. I think even if you aren''t a sentimental kind of person... sometimes THINGS happen, at weddings... especially yours. So... I''d just see... what feels right... what feels like YOU?? and let that guide your choice.

 

[kama_s]

Thanks for all your thoughts, ladies!

Mr. Kama thinks it''s most definitely ''me''. While I agree it''s a bit light-hearted, I''m not sure if a 100% serious ceremony is something I want. We didnt opt for a religious church ceremony for the same reason. I do want it to be somewhat light, but still thoughtful...if that makes any sense.

I would also be saying my ''serious'' vows, where I would tell Mr. Kama how glad I am to be marrying him, but I thought of ending with this poem to lighten the mood. I know a whole lot of people would be crying their eyes out, and that would make me uncomfortable. I''m not one to show mushy emotions, even though deep inside I''m all mashed potatoes!

So how about I say my serious, heartfelt vows and then finish up with the poem to add a bit of spunk?

 

[kama_s]

Date: 5/11/2009 2:52:56 PM
Author: tlh
I dont know. If it is like, OMG this is soo me! yes, go for it.

I personally get very serious about weddings and marriage... and about what they signify. I am a huge sap AT WEDDINGS... normally I am just a big time jokester... but it is about gauranteed that I''ll be snotting up crying at weddings...I always do. But I usually hide in the back, so no big deal... which is why I hate being a bridesmaid... holding those flowers... snotting everywhere, turning bright purple trying my hardest not to cry in front of 200+ people. It sucks when everyone finds out that you are such a softie! But normally, I tell jokes, I NEVER cry, and most people don''t know how stupid teary-eyed I get at weddings. I think even if you aren''t a sentimental kind of person... sometimes THINGS happen, at weddings... especially yours. So... I''d just see... what feels right... what feels like YOU?? and let that guide your choice.

tlh: I totally well up too at weddings, even if I happen to catch some random wedding. My eyes get misty even when it''s on TV (but I pretend something got into my eye)! When Mr. Kama proposed, his eyes were wet and he had a knot in his throat....while I didn''t shed a single tear. He was all mushy, I was all ''WAHOOO''. I''m so totally weird!

 

[kama_s]

I also wanted to add, the poem does not represent how I feel about the marriage at all. My thinking was, since everyone already knows how head-over-heals in love I am with my fiance, I might as well spare people the mush and make a light-hearted joke out of it.

Any more opinions. I''m so 50-50 on this, I dont get to tie the knot everyday so I want to make sure I dont mess up!

 

[princesss]

I *love* it. If it suits you and your personality in the relationship (not as over-the-top romantic, not as mushy gushy, a little silly, a little non-traditional), then I think it'll be a perfect addition to your wedding.

 

[FrekeChild]

I think its great. I want to use it now!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/11/2009 3:30:53 PM
Author: kama_s

So how about I say my serious, heartfelt vows and then finish up with the poem to add a bit of spunk?

I vote yes for this. We also had some sweet but silly touches in our ceremony that were very "us" as well. I don''t think the whole thing needs to be so solemn personally!

 

[tlh]

Date: 5/11/2009 3:35:37 PM
Author: kama_s
I also wanted to add, the poem does not represent how I feel about the marriage at all. My thinking was, since everyone already knows how head-over-heals in love I am with my fiance, I might as well spare people the mush and make a light-hearted joke out of it.

Any more opinions. I''m so 50-50 on this, I dont get to tie the knot everyday so I want to make sure I dont mess up!

cool, if the audience gets you - and your love, that poem would be AWESOME!

I dont know that I''d be all snotty saying that either... but I might actually snort out loud...

 

[sammyj]

I think the poem is great!!!

I think your vows and the type of atmosphere you want to create at your ceremony is entirely up to you. I would love to attend a ceremony where I thought "that''s so them (the couple)!!" (and even made me chuckle, which the poem did). If the poem is "so kama" and many of your guests will echo that feeling, then go for it!

 

[katamari]

I think it is fantastic! I see this as far more intimate than more standard vows, because you are really showing who you are in them!

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

I think given the fact that it''s a small, intimate wedding and you know everyone who will be there well, it''s super cute and funny! Had it been a bigger wedding where people might not get you were being sarcastic it may have been more inappropriate... I really like it!

 

[kama_s]

Much thanks for the additional input! I think at this point I''m leaning 70% towards the poem, I think sometime next week I''ll write down my vows and see if it would be a seamless transition to go from serious vows to not-so-serious poem.

I think my MIL would have a good laugh out of it. I hope everyone else would see the humourous side of it too.

Thanks again, girls!

 

[tropiqalkiwi]

I would just make sure that your FI likes the idea of you doing such a comedic poem. I like the poem and would certainly enjoy it as a guest, but since you keep saying what a sap he is, I''m worried he might be a tiny bit hurt by it.

I see you mentioned he said the poem was very you (and he obviously loves you but is he ok with that kind of humor as part of the wedding ceremony? I guess what worries me is that the poem almost laughs AT the groom. Are there any other poems you have considered that are still lighthearted but less pointed?

 

[kama_s]

Date: 5/11/2009 11:40:09 PM
Author: tropiqalkiwi
I would just make sure that your FI likes the idea of you doing such a comedic poem. I like the poem and would certainly enjoy it as a guest, but since you keep saying what a sap he is, I''m worried he might be a tiny bit hurt by it.

I see you mentioned he said the poem was very you (and he obviously loves you but is he ok with that kind of humor as part of the wedding ceremony? I guess what worries me is that the poem almost laughs AT the groom. Are there any other poems you have considered that are still lighthearted but less pointed?

Thanks for bringing up this point, tropicalkiwi. You''re absolutely right, it really depends on FI''s level of comfort.

He has read the poem before and he thought it was incredibly funny and very me. Today I asked him to sit down and seriously read the poem and tell me what he thinks if I said it in my vows. He loves the idea even more than I do. If he had even the slightest bit of hesitation, it would solidify my decision. But he''s excited about having me read the poem, and he thinks our guests would get a great kick out of it. Which is why I''m so confused!

I think I''m at 75-25 right now. But let''s see how I feel once the vows are written, and I''ll discuss it with our officiant to get her opinion as well.

 

[tropiqalkiwi]

I''m so glad to hear you had a serious talk about the vows and that he''s fully on board! That would be the deciding factor for me (besides my personal thoughts anyway).

 

[trishy]

i say do it!!! its totally cute.. and i agree it will personalize your wedding to be yours

 

[Dannielle]

I think its hilarious.. if you want to say it, say it.. who cares what other people think

 

[honey22]

That''s the reading we are having at our wedding!! It''s perfectly us and we both love it. We didn''t want anything too over the top and when we read that, we both knew it was for us. We are also having a more serious reading, special but not too over the top.

If it feels right for the both of you, then go for it! It''s your special day and you want to make sure it reflects your personalities!

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Kama! (date twin)

Ok, well I''m not a big sap...but I''m on the fence about the poem, just because I would want him to say a little something sweet. Even if it''s really short, I think a lot of people will remember. Also beware if some of relatives don''t have a sense of humor, they might think of it has being a bit mean. I say this because my relatives are absolutely CHARMLESS and would be super offended. If it''s really *you* and what you feel then you should do it. I guess I feel like the wedding vows should represent how you feel about marriage and him.

Good luck down the final stretch!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 5/12/2009 5:46:21 AM
Author: allycat0303
Hey Kama! (date twin)


Ok, well I''m not a big sap...but I''m on the fence about the poem, just because I would want him to say a little something sweet. Even if it''s really short, I think a lot of people will remember. Also beware if some of relatives don''t have a sense of humor, they might think of it has being a bit mean. I say this because my relatives are absolutely CHARMLESS and would be super offended. If it''s really *you* and what you feel then you should do it. I guess I feel like the wedding vows should represent how you feel about marriage and him.


Good luck down the final stretch!

I have to agree. While i am the same way (my idea of sweet? "Honey, i had a great day with you. i love you" thats about as far as i go), i know that no one else would get it. However, i would think that would be a great poem to read during the speeches!
I was at a wedding in the summer where the reverend gave marital advice (full on counseling session) in the middle of the vows. apparently this is normal from this guy, and people who go to his church loved it, but e and I were like

.

 

[doodle]

Personally, I thought it was really cute until it got to the bit about being fondled by a drunkard, then I was reminded of the creepy old man who always tries to grope all the girls at the bar where my best friend works, and that kinda killed it for me, haha! As long as you''re relatively sure it won''t OFFEND someone, go for it!

 

[Sharon101]

My 2 cents is that I wouldnt use this speach because I dont think its all that funny or witty. There`s no funny punchline and it goes on a bit too long.

But I do like a little naughtiness or cheekiness in a speech so I would keep that idea. However, whatever quirky or humour you use in your speech, you must reign it in at the end, and finish with a heartfelt serious compliment or declaration of love. I would also keep the `funny/ mean` bits to a minimum because less is more at a wedding. Even one or two light hearted comments will achieve your goal of being non traditional and carefree. Too many mean comments, even if they are funny, will start to feel like a roast at a 21st or something!

Anyway good luck, it sounds like your partner likes a bit of humour so definately incorperate some in your speech.