Need Feedback on OEC, Please

[lovedogs]

The interesting thing to me about all this is, if HE'S so convinced that the stone is beautiful and just like those on the website, and that I'll be pleased with it, why not just send it, then? I've repeatedly given him that option, just always with the warning that I will file a charge-back for the stone IF, once I have it in hand, I see the same issues in it that I see in all the pictures and videos. I've always said IF, so I'm leaving the possibility open that I am, in fact, wrong about it (which personally I think is the slimmest of possibilities, but still). So....if he's so sure about this stone, why not just take that chance, then?

The fact that he's not just sending it tells me that he doesn't REALLY believe what he's telling me about the stone. He knows that it's not like what's on his website, and once I have the proof, I will get the money back, AND he won't have the stone to try to pawn off on some other poor customer who orders a 1.0ct G OEC from him. I wonder if he thinks that if he just stalls like this long enough, I will just give up and go away and eat the $600 for all of it, while he still has a stone and setting to sell to someone else. How he would think I wouldn't take action for not receiving any goods, I don't know. Crazy.

Yup that's my guess too

 

[Dreamer_D]

Too much work and effort. I would not get into debates. Just say "REFUND MY MONEY OR I WILL FLAME YOU ONLINE" over and over. Debating people like this is a headache and pointless.

 

[OboeGal]

Too much work and effort. I would not get into debates. Just say "REFUND MY MONEY OR I WILL FLAME YOU ONLINE" over and over. Debating people like this is a headache and pointless.

Indeed! I wanted to make sure that I at least made the issues clear in writing in the emails a couple times for documentation purposes in case the bank needs it for the charge-back, but there will be no more debate or discussion now. I will only restate the options with a countdown of the number of days he has left to choose and provide proof of action.

And oh, boy, is he gonna get flamed on social media, no matter what he does at this point!

 

[OboeGal]

Well, he managed to make matters even worse.

Despite the fact that I explicitly stated in yesterday's email to him that I would no longer consider any other stones from him, and what his only three options are, he came back saying they will switch the stone to another one, with a video attached of literally what is perhaps the worst-cut, ugliest attempt at an OEC that I've ever seen. It makes the prior stone look like an absolute thing of beauty. It's obvious that he's going to send me the worst thing he can find, figuring that I'll be filing a charge-back anyway, and now he at least gets to keep the prior stone to pawn off on some poor sod that doesn't know better.

I told him exactly what I thought of that stone and that there would be exactly zero chance in hell that I would pay for that - whereas with the original stone, there was at least a small chance that I would decide it looked OK enough in person to keep, despite not being as advertised - then reiterated his options, and noted that he now has only 6 days to provide proof of shipping and/or refund before I dispute for non-receipt of goods. I also, for the first time, told him that I was going to be posting a full and honest review of this experience far and wide on social media and forums, and that it behooved him to not continue to make the situation even worse for himself.

I'm feeling really hopeless about my fellow human being today, between this and other things going on. I'm afraid he's going to find a way to weasel this and I'm just going to be out over $600, which is a whole lot of money for me, and that there is just nothing I'm going to be able to do about it.

 

[mayaINaU]

Well, he managed to make matters even worse.

Despite the fact that I explicitly stated in yesterday's email to him that I would no longer consider any other stones from him, and what his only three options are, he came back saying they will switch the stone to another one, with a video attached of literally what is perhaps the worst-cut, ugliest attempt at an OEC that I've ever seen. It makes the prior stone look like an absolute thing of beauty. It's obvious that he's going to send me the worst thing he can find, figuring that I'll be filing a charge-back anyway, and now he at least gets to keep the prior stone to pawn off on some poor sod that doesn't know better.

I told him exactly what I thought of that stone and that there would be exactly zero chance in hell that I would pay for that - whereas with the original stone, there was at least a small chance that I would decide it looked OK enough in person to keep, despite not being as advertised - then reiterated his options, and noted that he now has only 6 days to provide proof of shipping and/or refund before I dispute for non-receipt of goods. I also, for the first time, told him that I was going to be posting a full and honest review of this experience far and wide on social media and forums, and that it behooved him to not continue to make the situation even worse for himself.

I'm feeling really hopeless about my fellow human being today, between this and other things going on. I'm afraid he's going to find a way to weasel this and I'm just going to be out over $600, which is a whole lot of money for me, and that there is just nothing I'm going to be able to do about it.

I think in the worst-case scenario, if you have to file a chargeback, your cc company will come through for you. It may take a while, and the vendor may appeal (keep an eye on that--happened to me once and you have to answer the cc company's communication about it), but it will resolve in your favor in the end.

At this point though, I would strongly urge him to drop the whole matter and refund you. Why send any stone at all? It is a risk for him and more work. He should just refund you and walk away. Plenty of others will buy from him without knowing better.

 

[lovedogs]

Well, he managed to make matters even worse.

Despite the fact that I explicitly stated in yesterday's email to him that I would no longer consider any other stones from him, and what his only three options are, he came back saying they will switch the stone to another one, with a video attached of literally what is perhaps the worst-cut, ugliest attempt at an OEC that I've ever seen. It makes the prior stone look like an absolute thing of beauty. It's obvious that he's going to send me the worst thing he can find, figuring that I'll be filing a charge-back anyway, and now he at least gets to keep the prior stone to pawn off on some poor sod that doesn't know better.

I told him exactly what I thought of that stone and that there would be exactly zero chance in hell that I would pay for that - whereas with the original stone, there was at least a small chance that I would decide it looked OK enough in person to keep, despite not being as advertised - then reiterated his options, and noted that he now has only 6 days to provide proof of shipping and/or refund before I dispute for non-receipt of goods. I also, for the first time, told him that I was going to be posting a full and honest review of this experience far and wide on social media and forums, and that it behooved him to not continue to make the situation even worse for himself.

I'm feeling really hopeless about my fellow human being today, between this and other things going on. I'm afraid he's going to find a way to weasel this and I'm just going to be out over $600, which is a whole lot of money for me, and that there is just nothing I'm going to be able to do about it.

I wouldn't give him 6 days

 

[OboeGal]

I think in the worst-case scenario, if you have to file a chargeback, your cc company will come through for you. It may take a while, and the vendor may appeal (keep an eye on that--happened to me once and you have to answer the cc company's communication about it), but it will resolve in your favor in the end.

At this point though, I would strongly urge him to drop the whole matter and refund you. Why send any stone at all? It is a risk for him and more work. He should just refund you and walk away. Plenty of others will buy from him without knowing better.

Exactly! This is what I don't understand. He could easily sell the stone to someone else who either doesn't know better or care, and probably even sell the setting to someone else. The only "customization" I asked for is 10k white gold prongs on a 10k yellow gold shank, whereas his "stock" version of it is all the same metal for prongs and shank. He could just put the whole finished ring on his website for sale, and it likely would sell reasonably quickly.

I suppose it's possible that he's running on such tight margins, or that business lately is suffering enough, that he literally doesn't have the cash to refund, but....it's almost like it's more about needing to feel like he "won," and I'm frankly seeing far too many people like that in the world these days, who will sacrifice anything, to their own detriment, to "win."

 

[OboeGal]

I wouldn't give him 6 days

DH was just suggesting to me that I contact my credit card bank again and ask how long they would need me to wait before I could legitimately file a charge-back for non-receipt of goods. If I don't have to give him six more days, I won't. I need this to be over, one way or another.

 

[OboeGal]

I contacted the bank, and the person I spoke to this time was infinitely LESS helpful than the person I spoke with last time. The person I talked with last time, while acknowledging that I COULD file a charge-back at any time, gave me good advice as to what was my best strategy at that point in time to actually SUCCEED in the dispute and get my money back. The one today just kept repeating his script that I had full rights to file a charge-back at any time and that they would contact me once I did to get relevant info, but no insight as to whether filing one for non-receipt of goods at this juncture had any chance of succeeding. Ugh.

Bear with me, folks. I just need somewhere to vent my frustrations with all this as it plays out. Poor DH is beyond capacity for hearing about it - he's upset for me, but he can't do anything about it, and as it just keeps dragging on, it's taking a toll on him too and therefore creating some tension between us, so I need to spare him much more about it. I do really appreciate the support, advice, and encouragement here.

 

[OboeGal]

Am I crazy that this looks even worse to me than the first stone? It does have a little smaller table than the first, but the central facets still look dark and the outer facets look really dark and unresponsive, too.

Watch LG10587-OJS0817-SVE | Streamable

Watch "LG10587-OJS0817-SVE" on Streamable.

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Am I just too angry to be rational or reasonable here? Can I trust my eyes at all?

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

I think it's worse - when is it not dark?
Flame him on Reddit, he has a big business there, lots of lemmings doing group buys.

 

[OboeGal]

I think it's worse - when is it not dark?
Flame him on Reddit, he has a big business there, lots of lemmings doing group buys.

Thank you! I was really beginning to think I was either losing my mind or turning into some uber-nightmare of a customer that just couldn't be pleased with anything.

I don't know why he doesn't just refund and walk away, or send me the ring with the original stone and just hope that I decide, even if it's not "as advertised," that it looks OK enough to not fuss with the charge-back and he gets the sale. I keep telling him that's a possibility, so why now fuss with offering stones that I'm GUARANTEED to reject?

I will definitely be flaming him on Reddit, for sure! I've already warned away a couple of individuals that I saw mention they were considering him.

 

[lovedogs]

Am I crazy that this looks even worse to me than the first stone? It does have a little smaller table than the first, but the central facets still look dark and the outer facets look really dark and unresponsive, too.

Watch LG10587-OJS0817-SVE | Streamable

Watch "LG10587-OJS0817-SVE" on Streamable.

streamable.com

Am I just too angry to be rational or reasonable here? Can I trust my eyes at all?

Dear lord that stone is awful. It will be dark always.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

This last stone seems deliberately awful. Maybe stop wondering why he doesn't act like a normal businessman and figure out what sort of aberrant personality he is. When I dealt with him he seemed to never sleep. Ever.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Moissanite/comments/hthq9d/did_anyone_else_not_have_a_great_experience_with

 

[Dreamer_D]

The first is better.

I am not sure this is worth the stress. I suspect if you had not posted about it you would have been happy with the original. It looks nice for the price especially with a gold setting.

 

[OboeGal]

The first is better.

I am not sure this is worth the stress. I suspect if you had not posted about it you would have been happy with the original. It looks nice for the price especially with a gold setting.

I've been thinking about that today. At this point, I really wish that I had just rolled my eyes to myself and had him send it after the second video, despite it being clear to me that it wasn't like what he had on his website. While I think it's unlikely I would have been outright happy with it once I saw it in person, I would have either thought, "Meh, I can wear this sometimes - it's OK, I guess" or I would have just put it up for sale, with honest pictures, to see if someone else would like it well enough to give me something for it. Either way would have been better than all this. Now, he and I are locked into some sort of angry power struggle that neither of us can really win.

I don't know how, at this point, to get him to just send me the ring with the original stone so I can see it for myself. I've offered that option, over and over - albeit making it clear that, if I'm not satisfied with it in person, I'll file a charge-back, but also repeatedly stating that if it's OK to me in person, despite the cut flaws, he'll be able to keep my money. Why on earth is he refusing to do that now?

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Maybe he's good at keeping people off-balance. Give him a choice. 1) Send me the original stone, I might decide it's okay, or, 2) Send me the 2nd stone you showed me and there will be a charge-back, guaranteed. Your decision, Vijay.

I'm sorry, it's easy for me to sit on the sidelines and talk smart. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I’d wait it out then file a non delivery claim in a week or whatever.

 

[Dreamer_D]

And please don’t take this the wrong way but you do tend to write very long meandering posts so I’m not sure if you are also sending him very long meandering emails but a simple email with two or three sentences should be all you send anymore. “Send me the ring”. Or “refund my money”. Short and direct.

 

[OboeGal]

Maybe he's good at keeping people off-balance. Give him a choice. 1) Send me the original stone, I might decide it's okay, or, 2) Send me the 2nd stone you showed me and there will be a charge-back, guaranteed. Your decision, Vijay.

I'm sorry, it's easy for me to sit on the sidelines and talk smart. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Thank you for the support. I'm sorry if my venting/thread is getting tiresome to folks.

This is pretty close to what I said, with the additional option of just refunding me. Either refund me or send me the ring with the original stone, with the chance that I will be OK enough with it to not file a charge-back (despite the cut flaws), but if he sends the second stone or any other stone than the original, the charge-back is 100% guaranteed. And then I literally have said, "Your choice." But it's like I'm talking to empty air, or in an alternate universe. He never directly responds to what I'm saying, and just comes back doing something completely different without regard to what I'm telling him.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Kind of a gaslighting tactic. You're not wrong, you're not crazy, and you're not tiresome to me, maybe because I hate confrontation and I feel your pain. Ride it down, see what happens.

 

[OboeGal]

Kind of a gaslighting tactic. You're not wrong, you're not crazy, and you're not tiresome to me, maybe because I hate confrontation and I feel your pain. Ride it down, see what happens.

Yes, exactly - gaslighting. That's precisely how it feels, and it's definitely affecting me and my faith in my judgement and decision-making.

Thank you so much for the reassurance.

 

[lovedogs]

You aren't the problem. He is

 

[Inked]

I was away so i havent been on here at all but OMG, i am so sorry this is happening to you! I have lurked on reddit and they clearly dont know what an OEC or even a mock OEC is supposed to look like... LOL! I see a lot of not great "OEC" on there.

I personally didnt think ouros was even that cheap to be honest! I hope you're able to find a resolution to this and not have to take that stone which i dont like either. I mean, a little obstruction is common in 'real' earth mined OEC but i ma with @lovedogs that I dont like when the whole center goes dark. I also agree with Dreamerd that if you look at the report it probably has a 57% table.

I hope you're able to cancel/chargeback and I would try to get rid of this and continue to stalk Alex's Instagram.

 

[Inked]

This just popped up on Alex's feed, $560

View this content on Instagram

View this content on Instagram

 

[OboeGal]

This just popped up on Alex's feed, $560

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View this content on Instagram

Thank you! Unfortunately, by the time I got to his page, it was gone. I'll have to really stalk his feed. I did message him about what I'm looking for, and have seen him post things that would fit the bill since doing so, but my message was ignored.

 

[LightBright]

This just popped up on Alex's feed, $560

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View this content on Instagram

EXACTLY. Thanks for demonstrating we all have decent options for comparatively reasonable prices.