Negative pearl reaction....has it ever happened to you?

[ennui]

Black dress, white pearls = Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany's.

 

[cmd2014]

I actually said back to the "ironic" comment: "I'm sorry...I don't know what you mean" (and looked at her expectantly to provide an answer as to why she might think that). When she couldn't explain to me what she meant by them being ironic, we moved on. I think I was just trying to wrap my head around why the fact that I was wearing pearls seemed to elicit so many comments about being old-fashioned, conventional, prissy, etc. But in hindsight, I think the hostility was just there, and this was the place it got targeted.

It was not the most fun evening for a bunch of reasons, so letting them win or not, next year I will spend my time doing something more fun. Maybe like buying more pearls!

Speaking of which....the Rikitea strands are flying off the shelves! If only I had the budget for one! (actually, the one I had my eye on has been sold, so my hope is that it is someone here so I can live vicariously!)

 

[Lady_Disdain]

They were openly catty to a coworker's wife at a function? Even if you were wearing cutoffs and flip flops, that is a huge class fail. As Coco Chanel said, "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." They failed on both counts. You didn't.

And since I am quoting:

Pearls are always appropriate
- Jackie Kennedy
A women needs ropes and ropes of pearls.
- Coco Chanel

 

[missy]

They were openly catty to a coworker's wife at a function? Even if you were wearing cutoffs and flip flops, that is a huge class fail. As Coco Chanel said, "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." They failed on both counts. You didn't.

And since I am quoting:

Pearls are always appropriate
- Jackie Kennedy
A women needs ropes and ropes of pearls.
- Coco Chanel

Yes, ditto to that and these quotes. I am so sorry you had to experience this hostility. Hard to believe that grown ass women behave like this. A sad commentary on society and civilization (or lack thereof)... just ignore these "mean girls" and enjoy your pearls. Pearls are always in style as are good manners and gracious behavior. Something these women clearly lack and says so much more about them then it does anything about you or your pearls. (((Hugs))).

 

[pkinnew]

I don't know what else I could add to these insightful comments except I am so sorry this happened to you. If you were getting all of the male attention at first then it was definitely jealousy Wear your pearls proudly!

 

[cmd2014]

Ok, in consultation with various online sources, I at least think I have the 'ironic' question figured out.

Apparently, in the hipster subculture, it is cool to proudly wear distinctly uncool things, that you and all your friends have an unspoken understanding about, in that you know it's uncool, and they know that you know it's uncool, and you all feel cool because of it. Only, I guess it's sometimes hard to figure out who actually knows whether whatever is being worn is uncool (because you all have to be in on the joke for it to be cool). So if any of you are ever asked by a hipster (or hipster wannabe) at a party if anything of yours is being worn ironically....the only right answer to preserve your cool would be 'yes!'. Then you go home and cry.

 

[pearlsngems]

Aah! So that's what it means!

 

[Tucs]

My goodness, what nonsense. At least in my profession (academic) everyone is uncool, but not on purpose.

 

[Fly Girl]

Ok, in consultation with various online sources, I at least think I have the 'ironic' question figured out.

Apparently, in the hipster subculture, it is cool to proudly wear distinctly uncool things, that you and all your friends have an unspoken understanding about, in that you know it's uncool, and they know that you know it's uncool, and you all feel cool because of it. Only, I guess it's sometimes hard to figure out who actually knows whether whatever is being worn is uncool (because you all have to be in on the joke for it to be cool). So if any of you are ever asked by a hipster (or hipster wannabe) at a party if anything of yours is being worn ironically....the only right answer to preserve your cool would be 'yes!'. Then you go home and cry.

Actually, these hipster wannabes are totally uncool to not recognize that pearls are very cool again!

Again, pay them no mind as you out-cooled them and they were jealous.

 

[katbran]

I am very sorry this happened to you. It appears that someone had BitchFlakes for breakfast. Seriously... ' ironic' ... what a ridiculous comment to make ...they were just being bitchy condescending mean girls. Some people never get over this sort of behaviour. It's easy to say that the opinions of people like that don't matter ... but it's hard to not be upset when people you don't even know are mean .. especially when you get blindsided like that. It doesn't help to say that they are insecure and seeking power within the group by making fun of, criticising or embarrassing someone else. They are sad unhappy little people. Still hurts. Don't dwell on it, don't give them power by thinking about them. They are not worth the time. Now take your pearls out and fondle them ..... there.... now don't you feel a bit better ?? Keep patting the pearls till the bad girls go away.

 

[Lisa C]

Wow, you look stunning!

I think a lot of people wear trendy clothes, but deep inside wonder if they look cool, or nuts. Hardly anyone has the body type or cool to carry off the looks, and as self-critical as most women are, I'd say most feel extremely insecure while wearing them. Still, they recognize Classic and expensive Gorgeously Good Taste, and probably wish they had the self-confidence or money to achieve that look as well.

Also, Not everyone can deliver Irony with the correct vocal intonation, so things can really sound awful, unintentionally.

So, who were the other women? Dates, mistresses, coworkers? You probably put them in the shade. Were any of them perfect, or models?

 

[Lisa C]

Oh, forgot the question - I've had people apparently remarking about my graduated strand, back when they def weren't popular, but only one woman said anything to my face. It was "there you are, with your little pearls", in a friendly fashion, but like wearing them every day was eccentric.

I only felt %5 insecure, for a second, because I'd never dreamed I'd be lucky enough to own pearls. Once I got them, nothing could diminish my pleasure.

I think you look stunning!

 

[Frost Me]

Many consumers and these snarky women see value in the cheap made, cheap looking, gaudy, drippy, overpriced costume jewelry on today's market. They invest large amounts of money into pieces that they will eventually end up sending to the local thrift store for a donation. Classic pieces like pearls are timeless, not gaudy, expensive, and usually are handed down. Isn't it ironic that "nothing is better than the real thing."

 

[Fly Girl]

Amen, Sister!

 

[Jambalaya]

CMD, I have to say, these women sound really immature. Who past the age of 12 cares about looking "cool"? Have we turned into a society of teenyboppers?? I suspect these women were very threatened by your luxe elegance and maturity. Is the company in an industry where there are lots of young people, like software development/gaming, or PR, or something else dominated by mainly young folk?

Lisa C - "with your little pearls" - how condescending!! Unless their distinguishing feature was their smallness - like 5mm??

Goodness me, I never knew that pearls could be so political (with a small p)! Maybe they do carry connotations of wealth and conservatism to some unenlightened folk...But seriously, the days when only rich old ladies wore pearls are long, long, gone.

katbran - "keep patting the pearls till the bad girls go away" - hahaha, I like that!

 

[cmd2014]

Lisa C: OMG!!! That "you and your little pearls." How condescending! That's the EXACT tone that I was getting. From women 2/3 my age and a quarter as accomplished. (and yes, they fancied themselves intellectuals, even though they were likely the least educated and least qualified people in the room).

Jambalaya, I had no idea that pearls were political either! Apparently they are! (but only the white round kind). (Edit: and yes, they were computer software types, or at least random young women invited by the computer software types...I wasn't 100% sure)

But now that I DO know, I will let my freak flag fly by rocking them along with my red red lipstick (maybe I will work on channeling Dita Von Teese)....ironically of course.

 

[ennui]

I'm going to make a guess that they were young women invited by the computer software types. Most computer people embraced their inner nerd at a young age, and don't obsess whether they are cool by being intentionally uncool. I've been uncool my entire life, but now I know I'm "ironic."

Bill Gates has some famous advice: "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."

 

[Lisa C]

Hi, the pearls were a classic, 3.5-7.0mm perfectly graduated white akoya strand. So, they were small. I wore them every day, wore them out.
In the 6 yrs I was a lunchroom/playground mom I don't recall another mom wearing pearls. Maybe they saved them for nighttime? It was the school principle who said it to my face, and she was pretty embarrassed that she'd let slip that remarks had been made. Maybe remarks were made because I wore them in the daytime, every day? But, they were small, in good taste...

I guess I was oblivious, or chose to be, because once I had those pearls nothing was going to keep me from wearing them. My mom wore pearls when she dressed up, and looked pretty. In my mind, that's what true women did!

They may have been fakes. I'll ask her!

 

[Lisa C]

In truth, I think those girls probably wished they were you! Older, accomplished, expensive clothes and pearls worn with style and ease...in their minds and hearts they'll take your image home and be mulling it over. I would.

 

[NacreLover]

I've had multiple woman hate attack at a work Christmas party. But it wasn't around pearls. A man also joined in with a totally different slam. The worst evening ever. Yes, I went back the next year and had a ball.

 

[krissy7]

I just read over this thread and I guess I know women can be catty but it still surprises me how bad it can be. Aren't we beyond high school by now? Oh well, I guess the degree to which they felt the need to go on is testament to how great you looked. To show how naive I was, when I read the subject of your thread, I thought the comment was going to be about having an allergic reaction to pearls....haha.

 

[cmd2014]

Krissy, that's too funny! Thank goodness that was not the problem!!! I'd take catty women any day over not being able to wear my pearls!

 

[Pirard]

Jealousy is an ugly thing...but fortunate for you, you have a wonderful DH and fantastic pearls! Lose pearls indeed...what did she think you would wear instead...certainly not what she had on!!!

Once an acquaintance came up to me and made a comment about my diamond pendant (it's a 2.25 ct round stone surrounded by smaller diamonds)...she asked "how many BJ's did THAT take?" (yes, she actually said Blow J-bs)...without missing a beat, I said, "go ask your husband."

 

[bsomlo]

Pirard -- OUCH! Oh no you didn't!

 

[Pirard]

I am rarely obnoxious, but in this one instance I couldn't resist. Her comment was so rude, especially because the diamond belonged to my mother, and it was shortly after she had passed away. Seriously, though, sometimes people just need to be put in their place.

 

[cmd2014]

I am rarely obnoxious, but in this one instance I couldn't resist. Her comment was so rude, especially because the diamond belonged to my mother, and it was shortly after she had passed away. Seriously, though, sometimes people just need to be put in their place.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!

Of course, the most awkward answer might have been the truth.

 

[4Ranch Girl]

Jealousy is an ugly thing...but fortunate for you, you have a wonderful DH and fantastic pearls! Lose pearls indeed...what did she think you would wear instead...certainly not what she had on!!!

Once an acquaintance came up to me and made a comment about my diamond pendant (it's a 2.25 ct round stone surrounded by smaller diamonds)...she asked "how many BJ's did THAT take?" (yes, she actually said Blow J-bs)...without missing a beat, I said, "go ask your husband."

 

[ennui]

Jealousy is an ugly thing...but fortunate for you, you have a wonderful DH and fantastic pearls! Lose pearls indeed...what did she think you would wear instead...certainly not what she had on!!!

Once an acquaintance came up to me and made a comment about my diamond pendant (it's a 2.25 ct round stone surrounded by smaller diamonds)...she asked "how many BJ's did THAT take?" (yes, she actually said Blow J-bs)...without missing a beat, I said, "go ask your husband."

I'm glad you said that.

 

[Kay]

CMD, I think you look great in that outfit. I would totally wear that to work or an after-work party. (But, of course, I am not at all hip. ) I think you have done a modern take on classic white pearls, with the metallic sheen and the small-large-small pattern of the triple. (I plan to copy that look with my 7-7.5 akoyas and 8-8.5 Freshadamas.)

You stood out from the crowd, and that sometimes brings out the worst in insecure people. These twenty-something wannabes were confronted with a slightly older and clearly more successful woman, and instead of smartly taking notes about how they might want to dress when they grew up, a few women made catty comments. I love the idea of channelling Dita with bright red lips, white pearls and a black dress (or leather corset).

 

[swingirl]

Jealousy is an ugly thing...but fortunate for you, you have a wonderful DH and fantastic pearls! Lose pearls indeed...what did she think you would wear instead...certainly not what she had on!!!

Once an acquaintance came up to me and made a comment about my diamond pendant (it's a 2.25 ct round stone surrounded by smaller diamonds)...she asked "how many BJ's did THAT take?" (yes, she actually said Blow J-bs)...without missing a beat, I said, "go ask your husband."

Perfect answer. Dang, wish I could come up with comments like that so quickly!