NO idea what to do

[b.anna]

Date: 6/10/2009 6:57:07 PM
Author: mysterylover
Why does a wedding need to be a huge endeavor with tons of guests, mountains of decisions, and months of planning?


Oh yeah. Because the media (books, magazines, tv, etc.) and our peers say so.


No, I would not be ''engaged'' for four years.


Yes, I would get married sooner and with much less fuss than you are imagining.


People used to get married with just days notice during GI furloughs in WWII, for instance. It can be done. It has been done.

hey mystery, i agree with what you''re saying. we''re not looking at spending tens of thousands of dollars and having everything extravagant and fancy and perfect. that''s not real life at all. we really want to include our families and close friends. we both have very large families (him on his mother''s side, mine on my father''s) and everyone has been very supportive of us even when things weren''t going well, so including family in our wedding is definitely important to both of us. we''re both pretty simple people, and like i said earlier, if we''re going to do it, we want to do it right.

just as an update, my maid of honors (my two blood sisters) were so enthusiastic and willing to jump in to help! so a summer 2010 wedding is definitely possible. B wants to see how my application process goes before setting a final date for our wedding. i definitely feel much better about being able to plan the wedding with the help my sisters offered me, as well as all the advice everyone has given me! you''ve definitely fed some motivation, confidence, adn ability in me

i definitely can''t plan one in a matter of weeks but now it seems like a year and a couple of months is definitely feasible

 

[jstarfireb]

Re: summer 2010...I think planning is definitely doable after the MCAT and AMCAS application are done. So far that sounds like a really good option for you.

P.S. Also apply to the University of Pittsburgh if you''re considering Penn. Pitt is like a clone of Penn''s curriculum, and Pittsburgh is incredibly cheap to live in. Think $600-700 for a 1br apartment.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Congrats again! Just another opinion

While I think you should do what it is you feel the most comfortable with, and will be best for the two of you, I also have some advice and/or ideas.

First thought was, civil ceremony now, vow renewel with big party later.

But let me tell you, a year is MORE THAN ENOUGH time to plan a wedding, no matter how much you know or don''t know about weddings. I know absolutely nothing, but 13 months is going to be PLENTY of time to plan. Once you get in the swing of things its really easy to follow various books, lists, or websites. My suggestion is to find a good reviewed book tailored as closely to you and what the two of you want as possible. For me that was "The New Jewish Wedding" and "The Creative Jewish Wedding Book".

Another thing, finances are a huge challenge for us, but we know that we just have to plan within our means. I am not going to be able to invite everyone I want to. I am not going to spend $1000 on a dress. We may have to have appetizers instead of a sit down meal. But its all worth it. A 2 year engagement would drive me and FI nuts. It''s simply better for us to cut out every frivolous expense now and save and have a low key wedding, within a year of engagement.

Ok, I feel like I am completely babbling at this point. But with the help of ladies on PS, websites like The Knot and Project Wedding, and the wonderful books and planners out there; one year will be easy to pull off!

Let us know what you decide! Because we all love to help each other!

 

[Inanna]

Date: 6/11/2009 1:05:29 AM
Author: jstarfireb
Re: summer 2010...I think planning is definitely doable after the MCAT and AMCAS application are done. So far that sounds like a really good option for you.

P.S. Also apply to the University of Pittsburgh if you''re considering Penn. Pitt is like a clone of Penn''s curriculum, and Pittsburgh is incredibly cheap to live in. Think $600-700 for a 1br apartment.

Oh yeah, totally ditto University of Pittsburgh! I lived in an immaculate 1400 square foot 1 bedroom with all hard wood floors, super high ceilings, and two huge porches (Point Breeze neighborhood=AWESOME). Definitely the coolest place I''ve ever lived! Ohhh... and it was a very, very cool $650/month (this was in 2004-2007).

 

[b.anna]

inanna and jstar: i know! isn't it great? I went to Carnegie Mellon for my bachelor's degree and did tons of cancer research work at Hillman Cancer Center. B also went to Carnegie and lived in a huge 3 bedroom house in Squirrel Hill for $1100/month! I also lived in Shadyside for a while paying $400/month in a nice apartment near the shopping area on Walnut St. Loved it! The city is just getting better (we went back in April) and living is practically dirt cheap compared other places I've lived. Point Breeze is lovely! I love how residential the area is. We spent most our time in Oakland/Shadyside/Southside/Squirrel Hill but we've always wanted to venture further out.

Unfortunately, i've applied to Pittsburgh before, and they rejected me. but now i'm considering reapplying there Haven't considered UPenn yet, but definitely applying to Penn State.

Have any of you done something like "Run of the Brides"? In Boston there is this huge wedding dress event that Filene's Basement holds which has been dubbed "Run of the Brides." Basically they hold the event in a warehouse filled with wedding dresses from all designers etc. All the dresses are $250 FLAT but the amount of women who go and look for dresses is insane. They bring their families, wedding party, friends etc to run around and look for dresses. Women try their dresses on in the middle of the floor, grabbing mirrors left and right, etc. Insanity but also memorable and potentially fun

ETA: whoo~ i think posting post-engagement has promoted me to a Cut Rock! yayyy~ gotta add, that i absolutely love this forum!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

UPitt is an amazing school, my final choices were UPenn or Pitt, and it was a darn hard choice. I used to live in Pittsburgh too, LOVE the city! Also, I have many friends who have reapplied, and got accepted to schools that previously rejected them, so if you really love the place, try to get in everything ASAP and go for it!

Despite what the media and magazines would want you to believe, you can have a wedding on any budget, in any clothing, in any location. The only real rule is that you are happily married by the end of the day. I''ve been to big ballroom weddings, and small beach weddings, and loved all of them. I think taking a step back and just looking at all the different kinds/sizes/types of weddings out there can help get the creativity flowing and give you an idea of just how different weddings can be before you start really investing in a plan.

 

[doodle]

My family is Irish-Italian and HUUUUUUUUUUUGE. We had well over 100 people, and that was just our very closest friends and the immediate families of my parents and his. Had we invited all our friends and family, our wedding would''ve been probably 700 people, haha! That being said, I planned my wedding in a year with no problem, and a good bit of that year was spent twiddling my thumbs and looking for something else to do. I planned a wedding for a friend in two weeks for about 75 people. No problem. Living in a big city makes it even easier for you--you need a photographer, for example, post a thread on here with "Calling all Brides in the ___ area: Who was your photographer?" and you''ll get some great recommendations from people experienced with that vendor. The basics of planning a wedding are easy--book venue, officiant, photographer, and if you''re wanting a more formal reception, also book caterer and dj/band, then get a dress, and you''re done. Everything else is just prettifying, although the pretty part is the part most brides have the most fun with. My point with all this rambling is that your "I don''t know how to plan a wedding!" fear is just you psyching yourself out. If you know how to make a phone call and say, "I''m getting married on __ ##, 20## and am wondering if your services are available" then you can plan a wedding! Don''t work yourself into a panic!