Now I really did it :((

[missy]

Good morning girls!

SpringerSpaniel, thanks so much. I think it has helped because it was not an all of a sudden decision but instead I had time to think about it as I saw everything was changing in healthcare in general and my clinic specifically so it is a well thought out decision and while still a hard decision to come to necessary and less difficult because of that.


Austina, thank you and I am glad you and your dh are enjoying your retirement. And thanks also for weighing in on that transportation thread. Still cannot believe how a few posters twisted my words. But I cannot say I am completely surprised. I have seen it happen before and that is a big part of the reason some PSers won't share their real life bad experiences with some of the trusted PS vendors. Because there are always people ready to twist one's words. And I completely agree with what you wrote about it not being about being rich or poor but everything to do with being about the general lack of respect people have for others. It is pervasive everywhere. This lack of respect and caring about others. It's a sense of entitlement people seem to have that they can do whatever they please and others be damned. Thanks for weighing in on my rash. I am seeing my dermatologist today and while it is much better I hope he can have a better idea of what is going on though I have shown this to him before and he didn't have a diagnosis. The problem is I cannot see him as soon as it happens because he only sees patients Tuesday/Wed/Thurs and the rash always happens on Friday/Saturday/Sunday LOL. It lasts for many days but by the third day it isn't as angry and I think a biopsy is useless. It will come back as some sort of dermatitis no doubt.


Junie thanks. All good thoughts and suggestions. I definitely think heat and humidity play a large role in this rash but I do believe I have gotten this reaction on dry days too but one thing in common is that I am warm when it happens. I tried the Benadryl spray this time and it cooled it down for a moment but then it went back to feeling hot. I am not experiencing any discomfort from it now thankfully 3 days later so that is good. It's still present but so much better.

Your mini vacation is sounding so lovely and yes I could see you getting used to living like that. Not a bad way to enjoy life!

Sharon, hi there. Thanks for the encouraging words and good thoughts. It will be full retirement from my current field/career and I am not sure what if anything I will undertake after I leave work. The only plans I have at the moment is to have no (work) plans of any kind for as long as I want. No more "shouldas" for me lol.

Marcy thanks for responding to the thread and poll. Yes we are on the same page. I don't think it is related in any way to clothing as I get it when the area is not covered as well. I was wearing cycling shorts and the rash appeared where there was no clothing. However I also get it when covered so there is no common factor with this rash. I use the most gentle of detergents as well-free of everything and it is our own washing machine (beach house only as that is where I wash our cycling clothing) so nothing else is in it from any other detergent. Thank you as always for your well wishes and never ending support. I so appreciate that.

Sounds like you had an enjoyable weekend and yay for getting to have fun and be productive both on Sunday. I love doing the wash at the beach. It's satisfying and relaxing. Haha I'm weird. I don't like folding however and Greg takes that job. In Brooklyn he does both though since I don't like going to the building basement. But the summer at the beach house the washing drying is all mine and I enjoy it.

I am sorry about Marty's job future being uncertain. It is scary. I am wishing all the best for you both and sending buckets of good luck dust your way. I keep telling myself that things usually work out and they will with Marty's situation too. We are all here for you Marcy to support you in any way we can. (((HUGS))).

I hope his Atlanta trip stays canceled so he doesn't have to rebook and he can take a break from traveling.
I love that 14K gold bracelet. If it goes on sale and you still love it get it Marcy. It would be fabulous with the rest of your collection and if the price is right...

Oh no to the Porsche fuel injector recall and I hope you get that sorted out easily. We have another car issue as well. Oh no I sure hope we don't need to spend big bucks and get a new car. LOL why does everything happen always at once seemingly.

I am sorry Marty didn't sleep well and that his day wasn't good because of it. I am glad however that your Monday at work went smoothly and quickly.


PierreBear please don't feel badly about not feeling maternal or wanting to hold babies. Nothing wrong with that and don't judge yourself harshly please. You have time to decide if you want children of your own and I don't think you can deduce anything about that from not wanting to hug/hold others children. Just saying.

Thank you for your kind words about work and my decision to leave. I appreciate that.

Glad you had a full weekend and glad your hosting is over for now. I am with you. It exhausts me too. I have said it before but I am an extroverted introvert so I feel you. I have to work hard to be social and outgoing to make others feel comfortable but it completely drains me. Hope your week is relaxing and rejuvenating and you have plenty of downtime.

So happy your kitty only had a blocked tear duct and that he is A-OK!

Sorry you have similar rashes too and it happens on me within the hour LOL. I wish it only happened on 2 day bike rides! It takes 7-10 days to go away and sometimes longer. It's a mystery and all I know for certain is it comes out only (so far) when cycling and in the warmer weather and has nothing to do with clothing or rubbing and much to do with the sun and heat. Fingers crossed today my derm might have a better clue as to what is happening. I will let you guys know if he has any revelations.

Austina I love those kitties you shared here. OMG they are precious. Thank you for your continued good thoughts. The rash s getting better.

Scandi you look beautiful on that beach in Hawaii and terrific in the bikini! So glad you are all enjoying your holiday and thank you for sharing photos with us so we feel a part of it.

Hi CJ, thank you for your good wishes and for checking in. I hope all is well with you. (((Hugs))).

So I emailed my letter of resignation yesterday at 6AM and an hour later the medical director called me and asked me to please hold off for one more week as he is going to go back to the CEO and other admin to see if he can get me the time I need to see and care for each patient properly. And also get me the 2 other things I requested. I am so tired because we have been down this road countless times before but for the sake of the 16 years I have worked there and out of respect and consideration for all the effort the medical director is putting forth I will delay it one more week. But I am quite sure the outcome will be the same. Just delayed a week. There is no way they will agree to my requests (and they have heard it before) but I am allowing him to play this out one last time. That way we can all say we have done all we could do. But I am so ready for this to be over. After I sent the email yesterday AM Greg squeezed my hand and I just felt relief. Now I am back on the roller coaster for a few more days but I will let it play out one LAST time. See the craziness that I am dealing with at work? I have spoken to our medical director more these past 4 days more than I have ever spoken to him in the past 4 years LOL.

I hope everyone has a lovely Tuesday. We are leaving soon for the 2 dermatologists Greg and I have appointments with today and I going to show him my toe as well. That darned toe is troubling red and looks irritated still and I am at a loss. Hoping it is fine and there is nothing to worry about. Today is a long morning for us as Greg has a complete body check scheduled with his other derm this morning as well so I anticipate we will be there for a number of hours today. Everyone be well and enjoy this lovely day.

 

[CJ2008]

After I sent the email yesterday AM Greg squeezed my hand and I just felt relief.

<3

I hope the week goes fast missy so you can find a final resolution.

Good luck with the derm appointments hope whatever is going on with your toe ends up being minor.

((hugs))

 

[PierreBear]

We weren’t done with hosting yet. Had a friend over for a meal Monday night. She lives overseas and we only see her once a year so didn’t want to put it off. Made some pasta with shrimp and spinach. Nice catching up but so much to talk about. Speaking of food, I made another thread about this but I was curious if ya’ll watched What the Health documentary? It’s really confusing what to eat and what not to eat. It really scares me though and gives the view that all meat/dairy/animal products are not healthy for you.

@Austina – Thanks for sharing your thoughts on desires to hold babies. I think I would love to skip the mommy stage and go straight to being a fun grandma. Play, play, play and then give the baby back! The cat with the moustache is such a character!

@Scandinavian – Hawaii is beautiful and so are you! Way to be confident in that bikini girl! Do you live there or is it vacation? Any fun plans you are doing while in Hawaii?

@marcy – I can’t believe you have the Brilliance and Fire book! I wish I had the brain to enjoy non-fiction but I’m more of a fiction girl who loves to get lost in the plot and be entertained. I generally pull up best seller/awards/Pulitzer prize lists and find the books in the fiction genre. I’m terrible with audio books. It tends to make me fall asleep. Or perhaps I’m just not an audio learner and zone out.

Sorry to hear about the car recall. Glad that it will get fixed before other issues can occur though. Be safe!

@missy – One more week! One more week! You can do it! How are the other coworkers dealing with the environment and do they want to make a change as well? Keep us posted on the toe and leg progress and hope the derm has wisdom to diagnose.

 

[missy]

Hi guys, posting from train.
Hi PierreBear, thank you for your encouragement and pep talk. (((Hugs))).
Yumm Pasta and shrimp. Glad you enjoyed the visit with your friend.
I will check out your thread later.


Here's an update from my doctor's appointment this AM:
David (my derm) now thinks I could have Schamberg's disease or a progressive pigmented purpuric disease. Just started googling it on train and not too thrilled. He insisted on taking a biopsy this time as he said the rash has happened to me already dozens of times and we need to biopsy it. He put in 3 stitches. The nurse took 5 vials of blood and let's just say I am so tired of being proked and prodded with little good to show for it but I am hoping it is nothing serious.

He is also ruling out Autoimmune diseases (and they run in my family and I already have a couple of those as well) so that is the update. I showed him the toe quickly and ee said the toe might just be red from the friction of the nail pulling...to be honest I am fuzzy on what he said re that since it was a long appointment and we didn't even get to all my issues.

A bit disappointed because there were other things I wanted him to take care of but he was rushed as he got there a bit late (I had the first appointment at 7:30 AM) so he already started late and then the rash took up quite a bit of time and he insisted on the biopsy so we just put off a few issues till next month. But he is very smart and if anyone can figure it out he can. Just hoping and praying whatever it is ends up being unimportant and inconsequential to my quality and quantity of life.

The good news is my dh's body check went very well and no new growths or chagnes so woohoo for that! Big relief!

See you girls later and enjoy the day.

 

[CJ2008]

Sorry to hear you didn't get to talk through all your issues missy I know how much you like that derm. And sorry that toe is more complicated...glad he insisted on the biopsy so that you get to the bottom of whatever's happening. Hopefully it's nothing that can't be solved with the right treatment/medicine.

And yay on Greg's thumbs up results!

 

[missy]

Thank you CJ!

 

[Austina]

Hello lovelies.

I'm afraid I could hold my tongue no longer, so I've posted on your thread @missy

Wow @Scandinavian, get you in your bikini, if you've got it, flaunt it! Hope you're having a great time. We went to Hawaii when I was pregnant and really enjoyed it.

Great news for Greg @missy, but I'm sorry you still have no resolution to the rash problem. Hopefully your dermo will have good news when he gets the results of the biopsy.

I totally understand you being asked to hold fire on your resignation, but I feel you've made the right decision, and shouldn't let them dissuade you.

Yikes to the car recall @marcy, hopefully it'll be sorted quickly. I know it's a worrying time for you with Marty's job situation, but glib as it sounds, things have a habit of working out. DH was made redundant 3 times, and something better always turned up. One time we'd just committed to buying a new house, the worst of timings, but we got through it.

Wow @PierreBear you've been really busy, hope you've got some easier times ahead.

We went out to lunch (nothing fancy, Asian buffet) then went to see Dunkirk, very moving and made me think that people just wouldn't do that these days, no payback for them. Thank goodness ordinary people answered the call and stepped up.

Waves to @CJ2008, @junebug17 and anyone I've missed

 

[missy]

Hi Austina! Thank you!

I saw that you posted and I agree with everything you wrote. I am liking the new PS LIKE function very much. I thought I would never use it but I am seeing the value in it. And I gave your post in the transportation thread a big big LIKE. It sometimes feels like the end of civilization with some people just uncaring about anyone else around them. For example it is very common for people to rush into the subway even when people are trying to get out. Incredibly rude and ridiculous. It is only civilized and polite to let one exit the train before another gets on or rather, push on/in the car quite rudely. It's like everyone has lost all sense of manners and civilized behavior and just being a decent human being. Demoralizing sometimes. But I digress.

Your lunch sounds so yummy and I am glad you enjoyed the movie this afternoon. Sounds heartwarming and I always like heartwarming. I haven't heard what it is about but will put it on my list when it comes to cable. Thank you for the recommendation.
Hope you enjoy a lovely evening.

 

[Scandinavian]

Hello girls!
You are all way too kind! I want to move here so I can practice and become a beach babe
Missy, are you going to stop working? Fingers crossed for that biopsy!
Marcy, yes my makeup is always the same..... lol! Going for the tiny nose.....
Hugs! And see you soon Missy!

 

[marcy]

Hi NIRDIs!

CJ, Marty and I are hanging in there; thank you for thinking of us. Marty is not happy with work or trying to get his gym going. He ordered some business cards for his gym today so maybe he can start handing them out and getting some clients. I don’t adapt well to change and internalize stress - I’m a worrier. I am trying to remain calm. I have not bought that bracelet but it’s hasn’t been ruled out. I might so see if the local Kay’s has it in the store so I can try it on again. I am glad to hear I’m not the only one who worries about breaking babies and having the cry when I hold them. It’s like “hey we didn’t do anything, really.”

Missy, I hope the dermatologist can figure out something to help prevent your rash; I wish one of us had come up with a brilliant solution for you but I knew even as I typed my ideas you’d probably already considered them. Washing and drying clothes doesn’t bother me but I do find that buzzer annoying and demanding. Thank you for thinking about us and our uncertain future. I am trying to remember no sense worrying about things I can’t change. It sounds like Marty will be home for a few weeks but that’s probably not good for his job security. Oh no to having another car issue. I hope it’s easily fixed and more importantly not too expensive. I hate to hear the medical director is delaying your departure but I would do the same thing; give him a chance to see if he can get you the things you requested. Whatever happens we want you to be happy. Sorry that you didn’t get to all of your issues with the dermatologist and I hope the biopsy finds what exactly is going on and can find a way to eliminate your rash. I wish he had a better answer for you on your toe. I am glad to hear Greg’s dermatologist appointment went well. That’s pretty cool most of us have commented on your thread - no picking on a NIRDI without the rest of us showing up to defend you. I agree more people seem to be disrespectful and rude. I find that sad.

PierreBear, that’s nice for you to catch up with your friend that lives overseas. Where is she living? PS minds think alike on books, right? I like to be entertained as well when I read. I will buy political books but never finish them; I get kind of bored. I want a STORY. I have never tried an audio book but i think I wouldn’t like them either - my mind would wander.

Austina, I am glad things always worked out for you and your DH with his jobs. I was telling my dad’s buddies last weekend that we often wondered what my parents thought of Marty when we got married - he was unemployed at the time. I will definitely watch Dunkirk when it comes out on VOD. You are right, it was a different time and people just did what they had to do.

Scandi, you could definitely be a beach babe. I am sure it’s gorgeous there. Have fun!

It’s chilly tonight; we are having a light rain. Our dried out grass sure can use a little moisture.

I didn’t have any “food” ready for supper so ate chips and salsa and an English muffin with PB. Now I’m hungry though. I think I have one of those little baby bell cheese deals so that might keep me from being really hungry when I get in bed. I swear I need to go to the store.

Marty has a doctor’s appointment Monday to have his shoulder checked. I hope it’s nothing major; I don’t think he could stand it now if they told him he couldn’t lift weights for a while.

Tomorrow is our local holiday so I will get to come home at noon. In the morning we have a pancake breakfast and then can watch the Thunderbirds perform at 9:30. I’ll have to work FAST to get everything done in 4 hours plus go outside for the show.

I took in 100 solar eclipse glasses today and they went fast. The scout camp already bought their eclipse glasses so tomorrow I’ll find some local takers for the rest of our eclipse glasses.

Have a great evening.
Marcy

Here's Ken E Bear ready for the eclipse.

 

[missy]

Good morning girls!

Marcy I hope nothing is wrong with Marty's shoulder to prevent him from lifting weights and sending you both lots and lots of good thoughts. Thank you for chiming in on the transportation thread. I appreciate having you wonderful ladies here for me. That means the world to me and I am always here for you as well. (((HUGS))).
Thanks for the good wishes for the derm appointment and hopefully it will all be OK. I am working hard to live in the moment and not think so far ahead and worry too much. It's challenging for me to not worry about all these health and work and life issues but I realize there is only so much I can control and worrying makes it that much more difficult. Gotta stop that cycle (haha cycle get it LOL) of worrying!

Yummm English muffin with Peanut Butter. Sounds so delicious and right up my alley though bread and peanut butter both aggravate my skin. But once in a while heck it's worth the side effects. Sorry you were hungry afterwards though.

Have a great half day today and enjoy the show and pancake breakfast and local holiday. Ken E Bear looks smashingly handsome in those eclipse glasses. I better not let HRH see him like this or you know who will be so jealous!

Scandi thank you sweetie! And I am so excited for your visit...fingers crossed the weather holds up and that you guys really love NYC as much (or almost as much because well that is tough competition and I am not sure which I would choose LOL) as Hawaii.

The medical director called me yesterday late afternoon telling me he spoke to the CEO and he agreed to my first request (out of 3) and now he was waiting on the last 2 as the person he needs to speak to had a family emergency and wasn't at work yesterday. Then he said OK now will you sign the contract.

I told him the last 2 were the most important of my 3 requests. He said well, obviously they want to keep me and that is why they didn't blink an eyelash granting my first request. I said while I appreciate that I need to know they will grant me the proper time per patient and get me the updated equipment I need.

I regret not telling him Monday that the letter I sent him is final and that I am not changing my mind about resigning because now I look like an ungrateful brat going ahead with resigning since he granted me the first request and said the last 2 are under review. AND he wants 4 weeks notice (not 2 or 3) and so now I am working through August no matter what since I feel like I need to wait on the last 2 requests at least another week. I am stressed. I want to leave. Can I just say I am sorry but here is my letter even though you are trying and working with me on what I am asking?

I know you girls cannot tell me the right thing to do. But in my heart I am done and now just waiting to let them know I am done. I made a (big) mistake on Monday when the medical director received my resignation and then asked me to hold off to see if he could get me my 3 requests and I said OK. I absolutely did make a big mistake but now it is in motion. OK end of my rant.

Off to work in a few hours and hoping the day is not awfully stressful. Or maybe I hope it is so I can feel justified in quitting today (i.e. handing in my letter of resignation again)...

I hope everyone has a good day.(((HUGS))).

 

[Austina]

Morning lovelies

@missy you have reached the point of of return, this is not a decision you have come to lightly, please don't second guess yourself. You know deep down, and I suspect have done so, for quite a while. I hope this doesn't come across as bossy, but I have been in your shoes, and part of the thinking is that you don't know what you will do to fill the void. Believe me, you will find plenty, and if you don't, there are always kitty shelters needing volunteers.

I know it may sound easy for me to say don't worry @marcy, but I had a lightbulb moment a few years back, when there was a lot of poop going on, and I finally realised I can't change what will be, worrying about it was making me physically ill. I couldn't eat, and when I did I was sick, I lost weight, I couldn't sleep, I looked a wreck, and then I thought, why am I doing this to myself, whatever the future has in store, I/we can deal with it. Sometimes I think worrying blocks you from thinking about ways around a problem. I hope it's nothing serious with Marty's shoulder, my DS is currently having physio on his, probably aggravated from lifting heavy weights too.

I am excited to see and hear all about your meet up @Scandinavian, I hope there will be lots of photos of the two of you having fun!

It's pouring here, and my darling DH has taken Dottie out on his own because he didn't want me to get wet too he's not a bad old sausage, I may well keep him for another 38 years

Have a great day, a big wave out yo you all

 

[missy]

Thanks Austina. You are not bossy at all and I appreciate your feedback. (((HUGS))).
I haven't shared everything about why I want to quit (lol there is more) because I don't feel comfortable posting certain facts publicly but there are other reasons for which I am confident everyone here would say yes it isn't worth your safety and you should leave. So mad at myself for not being more firm with the medical director Monday AM. Grrrrrr.

So to lighten the day a bit I am sharing a homemade Jenga set. Made by our friends at the shore from 2 by 4 Douglas Fir lumber. Greg said if I want he will make one too. Of course I want one for my own...who wouldn't?

For perspective this is about 4 feet high. Isn't it cool?

 

[Austina]

Oh wow, that's fantastic @missy. I can see hours of silly fun to be had with that I bet the pussies would find intriguing too.

 

[PierreBear]

Good morning! I had to host someone else yesterday for dinner…. Hahaha… just kidding. Thank goodness. I made myself a very simple meal and watched a Netflix movie called Lion. Very moving and highly recommended. Based off a true story. I teared up a bit. Have a great day everyone!!


@CJ2008 – Thanks for your kind words about my mom and cat. By the way, I think you started a different thread on physical therapy. Is this due to the car accident you mentioned awhile back? Any progress on working out the kinks in your body?

@missy – Wow, I’m sorry to hear about the need to do a biopsy. I was really hoping that it was just an irritant that would go away on its own and nothing serious. 5 vials of blood seems like a lot but way to stick it out (sorry couldn’t resist the pun). You should treat yourself to some ice cream over that ordeal. I’m glad that the DR ruled out auto immune disease though. I have a few friends who battle with that and it’s a life long ordeal that I’m sure you are familiar with.

Good to hear that your DH is doing well though!

Way to stick to your guns on resigning. May they fulfill your requests even in your absence for the benefit of the patients and your other coworkers. Hope you continue to be at peace with your decision!

Neat jenga set! Are ya’ll going to paint it fun colors too?

@Austina – I’m behind on the times and had to look up Dunkirk. I agree that kindness and doing this to benefit others seems like a rare trait now a days.

Did you have restraint on the Asian buffet? DH and I only allow ourselves to do buffets once a year. We can’t help it and go all out and eat so much that we aren’t hungry for dinner. Haha it’s terrible.

I laughed out loud when you called your DH “bad old sausage.” 38 years is quite the accomplishment. We are 30 years behind ya’ll so I guess I have many years to come up with a cute/tease of a nickname as “bad old sausage.” : )

@marcy – Pancake breakfast sounds delicious. What are the Thunderbirds and what do they perform? Sorry to hear about Marty’s shoulder issue. I can really relate to the fear of not doing something you love to do. I’ve mentioned that I’ve been training for a long endurance race in November. I felt a little bit of a strain/tear/discomfort in one area of my leg. I’m laying off running for this week but in the back of my mind I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep on training and will have to take a break. I’m so prone to injury but I know we are all built differently. Really hope Marty just needs to recovery a bit and his body will heal itself. I’ve had several minor things that within a week of rest, it went away.

 

[Scandinavian]

Twin falls

 

[marcy]

Hi NIRDIs!

Missy, ha ha cycle, good one. It’s sometimes easier said than done to not worry but I’m better at letting things be than I used to be. I can get some eclipse glasses for Karl just so we don’t start a fight over who is HRH’s favorite. As strange as this sounds I hope they don’t agree to your other 2 requests because then you won’t have to make that hard decision - again. I am sorry it turns out you can’t just walk away after deciding to resign. It’s nice they don’t want you to quit. I hope your day at work was a good one. That jenga set is fabulous. And if your safety is involved please quit now.

Austina, that’s a good deal you found a way to back off being so stressed you were making yourself sick. I know it’s something we all can work at controlling. I had that same type of moment when I was working my 2 jobs and not sleeping enough. My blood pressure was through the roof, I ate more crap or junk food than I should which didn’t help anything and I was angry and stressed all the time. I had the same realization I have to stop doing this to myself. I try not to let things get to me so much anymore. I hope your son’s therapy fixes his shoulder. Marty is off right now to get his should X-rayed. That’s sweet you DH took Dottie out so you don’t get wet. Congratulations on 38 years together with your DH.

PierreBear, yay for only fixing dinner for yourself. I watched Lion; it was a good movie. The Thunderbirds are the Air Force’s acrobatic flying team. They fly F-16’s. The perform for our local big rodeo called Cheyenne Frontier Days. They are like the Blue Angels if you’ve heard of them. Oh no to feeling something unusual in your leg; I hope it feels normal soon. Good luck training for your long endurance race this fall.

Scandi, beautiful twin falls. And I see your makeup stays perfect in water.

It was rainy, foggy and very cloudy today so they cancelled our pancake breakfast and then the Thunderbirds decided not to fly. That made it very easy to get my work done since I wasn’t distracted by delicious food and a show.

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and picked up the stuff to make tacos for supper.

Speaking of rude people I am sure noticing them in the last 24 hours. One of our new neighbors (they are a very young couple) was backing in to the street and didn’t see me already in the street. So once he finally notices me he just keeps backing out and then drives off. I’m like um I’d had the right of way. Then at the grocery store there were 5 - yes 5 - people that just stood there blocking the isle and didn’t even attempt to move out of my way. I guess they all think we live in a geocentric universe and everything revolves around them.

It’s sad I don’t believe in naps; that sounds like a great idea about now. I woke up about 4 am and didn’t really go back to sleep.

Marty did get a blanket approval for travel on the project he’s working on in LA. That is a good thing. Now if we could get reimbursed for his lsat 5 trips but the plane ticket he bought for his cancelled trip this week. His boss sets on them and doesn’t approve them; then the travel department is getting picky and rejecting stuff because something is not categorized right.

Have a great evening.
Marcy

 

[Scandinavian]

Sunset from a vulcano

 

[marcy]

Beautiful picture Scandi.

 

[Scandinavian]

Le kids

 

[Scandinavian]

MARCY, thank you! Best wishes to / for Marty!

 

[marcy]

Thanks Scandi. Beautiful ocean and cute kids.

 

[missy]

Good morning girls!

Marcy yay for Marty getting blanket approval for the next trip to LA. That is a good sign. I hope he gets reimbursed in a timely fashion for the rest of his trips too. Sorry the pancake breakfast was canceled and that the weather was unfriendly for the Thunderbird show but glad safety ruled the day and that you accomplished your work. Will they reschedule the show and breakfast perhaps? I am not a nap person either. Not that I don't believe in them but I am not capable of sleeping in the middle of the day unless I am ill. And even then it is challenging.

Scandi I LOVE Le Kids. Glad you are all so enjoying your beautiful getaway and the beaches look amazing.

PierreBear Thanks so much for your good wishes. He is in the process of trying to rule out autoimmune disease so sadly that is still in the possible mix of diseases he is evaluating me for. I hope your leg strain/injury improves quickly with your resting strategy (a smart strategy indeed by the way and I admire your self control in allowing your body to heal and not overdoing). Sending you healing dust. And yes definitely we will paint it all sorts of fun colors. Great suggestion.


Austina haha yes your lovely dh is a good old sausage and you should hang onto him for another 38 years at least. Any guy who will walk the dog in the inclement weather so his dw doesn't have to is a keeper.

I resigned for good yesterday early afternoon. It's too unpleasant there and I no longer want to participate in the egregious over scheduling and lack of concern for the welfare of the patients waiting for hours and hours. If this is the new face of medicine I gladly bid it adieu. Unfortunately the medical director was unhappy and angry (raised his voice to me and he is usually soft-spoken and a low talker so you can imagine) that I didn't give him at least a few more days to make it better. However he had many months to speak on the behalf of the clinicians and patients and he was OK with the new status quo. And yesterday was the last straw for me.

This organization has treated providers and patients alike very poorly and I finally see clearly there is no fixing what is wrong and the culture there is an unhealthy environment and that just won't change. It took me going through all of this to come to that realization but it is a process and I had to go through it to feel sure in my heart this is the right thing to do and I did all I could to make it work not just for me but for my patients. I don't believe the Medical Director feels that I gave him enough of a chance to make it better but I am sorry about that and it is not my job to make him happy. And you know what he said after we had a phone conversation yesterday afternoon? He said OK well then he isn't even going to to to the person in charge of how we are scheduled since there is no longer any point. I said how about for the welfare of the remaining clinicians and the patients who endure painstaking waits? And his reply was no since I am leaving there is no point.

I said I would work for the next 4 weeks (including this one as I work there Wed and Thurs and sent him the resignation yesterday) but then he texted me last night asking for an extra week to which I (reluctantly) agreed since I know he is very upset at the way this has transpired and I know he tried and I am trying to be fair. But if my schedule become ridiculous because I am leaving I will re-evaluate and leave sooner. I refuse to be held prisoner or hostage there and if the treatment is intolerable (more than it has been) I am out of there sooner. Of course I didn't say this to him but for my well being I will do what I need to do. 16 years proves my loyalty especially staying the last couple of years there. IMO. Plus they have another eye care provider who is happy to take my hours yet he wants me to finish out the next 4 plus weeks.

So that is my update. Going in to work with a heavy heart because I am not looking forward to the next month of being there now that I am leaving. Today is Thursday and the medical director is there today as well. So that should not be the most pleasant experience for me either. I had good intentions to make everything there better for the patients and clinicians but it just proved too much and too impossible a task but I am sorry the way it went down only because I know the medical director wanted it to work out and he did put forth an effort. Just too little too late and it is time for me to go.

Enjoy the day girls.

 

[CJ2008]

Good morning girls!

Marcy yay for Marty getting blanket approval for the next trip to LA. That is a good sign. I hope he gets reimbursed in a timely fashion for the rest of his trips too. Sorry the pancake breakfast was canceled and that the weather was unfriendly for the Thunderbird show but glad safety ruled the day and that you accomplished your work. Will they reschedule the show and breakfast perhaps? I am not a nap person either. Not that I don't believe in them but I am not capable of sleeping in the middle of the day unless I am ill. And even then it is challenging.

Scandi I LOVE Le Kids. Glad you are all so enjoying your beautiful getaway and the beaches look amazing.

PierreBear Thanks so much for your good wishes. He is in the process of trying to rule out autoimmune disease so sadly that is still in the possible mix of diseases he is evaluating me for. I hope your leg strain/injury improves quickly with your resting strategy (a smart strategy indeed by the way and I admire your self control in allowing your body to heal and not overdoing). Sending you healing dust. And yes definitely we will paint it all sorts of fun colors. Great suggestion.


Austina haha yes your lovely dh is a good old sausage and you should hang onto him for another 38 years at least. Any guy who will walk the dog in the inclement weather so his dw doesn't have to is a keeper.

I resigned for good yesterday early afternoon. It's too unpleasant there and I no longer want to participate in the egregious over scheduling and lack of concern for the welfare of the patients waiting for hours and hours. If this is the new face of medicine I gladly bid it adieu. Unfortunately the medical director was unhappy and angry (raised his voice to me and he is usually soft-spoken and a low talker so you can imagine) that I didn't give him at least a few more days to make it better. However he had many months to speak on the behalf of the clinicians and patients and he was OK with the new status quo. And yesterday was the last straw for me.

This organization has treated providers and patients alike very poorly and I finally see clearly there is no fixing what is wrong and the culture there is an unhealthy environment and that just won't change. It took me going through all of this to come to that realization but it is a process and I had to go through it to feel sure in my heart this is the right thing to do and I did all I could to make it work not just for me but for my patients. I don't believe the Medical Director feels that I gave him enough of a chance to make it better but I am sorry about that and it is not my job to make him happy. And you know what he said after we had a phone conversation yesterday afternoon? He said OK well then he isn't even going to to to the person in charge of how we are scheduled since there is no longer any point. I said how about for the welfare of the remaining clinicians and the patients who endure painstaking waits? And his reply was no since I am leaving there is no point.

I said I would work for the next 4 weeks (including this one as I work there Wed and Thurs and sent him the resignation yesterday) but then he texted me last night asking for an extra week to which I (reluctantly) agreed since I know he is very upset at the way this has transpired and I know he tried and I am trying to be fair. But if my schedule become ridiculous because I am leaving I will re-evaluate and leave sooner. I refuse to be held prisoner or hostage there and if the treatment is intolerable (more than it has been) I am out of there sooner. Of course I didn't say this to him but for my well being I will do what I need to do. 16 years proves my loyalty especially staying the last couple of years there. IMO. Plus they have another eye care provider who is happy to take my hours yet he wants me to finish out the next 4 plus weeks.

So that is my update. Going in to work with a heavy heart because I am not looking forward to the next month of being there now that I am leaving. Today is Thursday and the medical director is there today as well. So that should not be the most pleasant experience for me either. I had good intentions to make everything there better for the patients and clinicians but it just proved too much and too impossible a task but I am sorry the way it went down only because I know the medical director wanted it to work out and he did put forth an effort. Just too little too late and it is time for me to go.

Enjoy the day girls.

Oh wow missy what an uncomfortable and stressful day you had yesterday. Notice how as long as the Director is getting what he needs out of the situation he's calm and speaks to you a certain way. But the minute he's not getting what he wants or life is more difficult for him he's annoyed and conveniently forgets that you've tried too. He just reacted, but he cares mostly about himself and how things will affect him. It's human nature, but it reminds you, you gotta look out for yourself because that's what everyone else is doing. And if "granting" you what you wanted was only "for you" how long do you think those changes would have lasted, if they are so difficult to grant, and so much goes against the culture? Not long. They probably wanted to buy some time while they could find a replacement or some other solution. That reaction tells me that even if they granted you everything you wanted it would not have been a good environment.

I'm glad you finally decided to not wait any more and I do hope you can feel some relief about that even though the next few weeks will be a little tough. And I agree that if things become really difficult or you get a lot of passive aggressiveness directed at you, then it's time to reevaluate giving the extra time at all.

(((Hugs))) missy. I hope today goes OK.

 

[missy]

Oh wow missy what an uncomfortable and stressful day you had yesterday. Notice how as long as the Director is getting what he needs out of the situation he's calm and speaks to you a certain way. But the minute he's not getting what he wants or life is more difficult for him he's annoyed and conveniently forgets that you've tried too. He just reacted, but he cares mostly about himself and how things will affect him. It's human nature, but it reminds you, you gotta look out for yourself because that's what everyone else is doing. And if "granting" you what you wanted was only "for you" how long do you think those changes would have lasted, if they are so difficult to grant, and so much goes against the culture? Not long. They probably wanted to buy some time while they could find a replacement or some other solution. That reaction tells me that even if they granted you everything you wanted it would not have been a good environment.

I'm glad you finally decided to not wait any more and I do hope you can feel some relief about that even though the next few weeks will be a little tough. And I agree that if things become really difficult or you get a lot of passive aggressiveness directed at you, then it's time to reevaluate giving the extra time at all.

(((Hugs))) missy. I hope today goes OK.

Thank you so much CJ. It makes me feel better to have you girls on my side. I am feeling mixed emotions and I know the trauma of leaving work for good will catch up to me though right now I feel calm and OK and good with my decision. I am sure I will be dealing with feelings of regret at a later date. But as you point out most likely any positive changes wouldn't last long and it would be all about the numbers over the care. The way healthcare is now sadly and I know care topping numbers is more the exception than the rule in this country at least and from what I see in the recent years from healthcare in general.

Thank you CJ and (((HUGS))).

 

[Austina]

Morning lovelies

@Scandinavian thank you for the lovely photos, how old are your children? They must be loving it there, the beach us beautiful.

Well @missy, you know I think you've absolutely made the right decision, and the reaction of the Medical Director just confirms this. If he were truly interested in changing things, he would carry it through whether you were there or not, so he was basically paying you lip service, hoping you'd give in and put up with things.

I hope the next few weeks fly by without any unpleasantness, and I'm sure your last day will be tinged with much sadness at leaving your patients, but I also think the moment you walk out, you'll feel a heavy weight lifted from your shoulders. Perhaps your rash may even be (in part) an underlying reaction to all this stress.

What a shame the display and breakfast were cancelled @marcy . When you mentioned Thunderbirds it took me back to my childhood of the TV show and International Rescue did you have that show in the US?

I'm glad Marty's can continue his project, hopefully you'll get reimbursed soon. If a company doesn't supply a corporate credit card for expenses, then they should pay up in a timely manner rather than leave the financial burden on their employees.

We took Dottie somewhere new today, but access to the car park was horrendous, so we won't be going back. They'd put up huge concrete barriers to stop commercial vehicles, and it was so awkward getting in, I was worried about scratching my car.

Wishing you all a stress free day

 

[junebug17]

Hi everyone -

Missy, I'm sorry about the upsetting days you have had and you have to do what is best for your health and well-being at this point. You've given this situation at work plenty of time. Honestly, I don't think anything was really going to change anyway. I know it's been stressful for you, but it sounds like you feel a sense of peace from making a decision, and that's because you know you're doing the right thing. It's nice that they don't want to lose you, but things at the clinic will carry on. As you said, there is another clinician to take over. It was inappropriate for the director to raise his voice but I guess I'll just give him the benefit of the doubt and say he is just upset about the situation, and about losing such a valued employee. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter. I know these next few weeks will be tough and this was a hard decision to come to but just be confident in what you've decided and you'll get through the remaining weeks. Sending big hugs to you, hang in there, everything is going to be fine!

I'm hoping your rash is doing better by now...I know it was a hassle to get a biopsy but it's probably for the best, hopefully it will give some idea of what you're dealing with. Great news about Greg!

Love the Jenga set, very fun!

Marcy, I'm sorry to hear about the concerns over Marty's job and gym, but very glad to hear travel has been approved, that's a good sign. I love the bracelet you posted, it's beautiful and I hope you eventually get it lol. Sorry about the recall, grr, it's always something. I hope Marty's shoulder pain turns out to be nothing serious. Hopefully he'll just have to rest it for awhile. I know that will be hard for him but maybe he can work around it. And hopefully you'll be reimbursed for his trips soon, how frustrating that his boss isn't more on top of things. Ken E bear looks great in his glasses lol! He's all set.

PierreBear, I'm glad your visits went well. I know the decision to have a child is a big one, and try not to feel judged for whatever decision you make. It's your life, and there is no right or wrong. It's a matter of what works and feels best to you, and what anyone else thinks simply doesn't matter. I'm glad to hear your kitty's eye issue isn't serious. Sorry you are feeling some discomfort and I hope with a little rest it heals up for you. I'm 57 and constantly getting random aches and pains, and I just keep saying to myself "I hope this eventually goes away" lol!!!

Scandi, beautiful pics! You look great! And your children are so sweet. Hawaii looks abolutely gorgeous. Thanks so much for posting pics. Really glad you are having a wonderul time.

Austina, aw, you have yourself one sweet husband there! I know this sounds trite, but imo it's little things like this that really count and make a person feel loved and cared for. Although a little bling once in a while can work too haha!

CJ, so sorry to see you need PT, I'm hoping it helps and you are feeling better soon.

Things are ok with me, got several offers on the house and will accept one today - I'm plugging along and trying not to stress over all of this. There's a lot to deal with and I'm working on not getting too overwhelmed and taking things one step at a time. Looking forward to the day this is all behind me and I can focus on myself and my life a little more.

On a lighter note, dh brought up my getting bigger studs - I got a shorter haircut recently, turned out to be a good move because he noticed my studs and said he thinks I should get bigger ones. I won't argue with him on that one lol. As usual, the expense is a bit overwhelming...I'm really too cheap to be interested in diamonds lol.

As usual I fell behind a bit on this thread, my apologies to anyone or anything I've missed...thinking of you all, sending good thoughts to all who are worried and stressed, and hoping everyone is having the best day possible.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Congrats on the house sale, JuneBug!!! And here's to short hair!!!!

Hang in there Missy!

Hello to all!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Scandinavian]

Foooooooood LOL

 

[Scandinavian]

Missy, I think you did the right thing! Just not worth it! Big fake smile now....!
June, studs sounds good! I want some too, just ask Missy, lol!
Hugs!
Jimmianne, how are you?