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Now I really did it :((

Hey Missy/All: Did you guys catch the news stories last week re Bono and how his effed up pinned up elbow will prevent him from returning to U2 as before the bike accident?????

Then they showed the x-ray of the elbow in its pinned glory.

Lol, Missy, I wondered if some a$$hat from his insurance company reprimanded Bono's windmilling technique, told him his recovery was going too slowly, and it was going on the national nightly news AND Live with Kelly and Michael!!!

Serially, I thought "No $hit, Sherlock, nasty accidents on a bike will do that to a person."
 
Good morning girls and thank you for the work encouragement. Ovi, Sharon, Callie, Marcy, LLJsmom, Kristie, thank you. The decision would be much more straightforward if it wasn't for this darn POD but I will work with what I have.

Callie, there are hotels near us in Brooklyn but if you guys want to stay at the beach house that is also an option and we can take the ferry into Manhattan. There are lots of options but we can decide details closer to the date. And thank you for sharing and all the advice addressing my concerns. It has helped me solidify some of my thoughts.

Is this the week you go shopping with your niece(s)?

Kristie, thanks for cheering me on girl. Much appreciated. I did not read about or see Bono in the interview you wrote about so I will do a search later as I am interested. My surgeon told me in no uncertain terms that I would not be the same period. That my leg was no longer the same leg I had before the accident. So I came to terms with it after some time and am determined to make it work as best I can. I have no other choice. I am not sure of the severity of Bono's injuries so I cannot comment on that but I am sure he had the best surgeon and PT fame (and money) can buy.

Sharon, thank you for your encouragement and optimism. I appreciate that as always.

LLJsmom, LOL out of the mouth of babes. I think what your son said could and does apply to many of us...I know it applies to me under many circumstances. Sometimes our resolve is just not that strong. And that is OK!


Marcy, I hope Marty is enjoying his new computer glasses. Make sure that he takes some visual breaks every 10-15 minutes and looks away from the computer and focuses at a distance across the room for around 15 seconds or so just to give his eyes a break and maintain the focusing. He will have to push his VDT glasses down his nose so he can see clearly at distance unless he also has a distance prescription and that will make it a bit more complicated. But in any case I call it the 10/10 rule. 10 minutes of close look away for 10 sec of far. Helps maintain visual comfort and reduce fatigue etc.

I hope you are feeling all better. Are you taking Nyquil because you are still not well or just to help you sleep? I hope you had a great night's sleep last night Marcy!

Ovi, hope you had a productive day yesterday getting ready for your mom's visit and I hope you have a great time with her. I think she is arriving tomorrow no? Anyway thinking of you and hoping you are feeling well.


Today is my first day of PT since before the holidays. My last PT session was 3 weeks ago and I really don't want to go today. It is freezing cold and well you know my face but I am going to force myself to go. Have I mentioned how I long for the spring and the nicer weather I hope it brings? :bigsmile:
 
Hi Girls, I hope everyone is having a great day today!

Missy, How did PT go today? Was this your PT with Victor? I am so with you about wanting warmer weather. It was 1 degree in Chicago today and we are getting up to 8 inches of snow tonight. FUN! I hope this isn't headed your way. You know it's cold when you open the door and the dog backs away and looks at you as if to say there is no way I'm going out there. I was hoping to get my flu shot tomorrow. So many people my husband works with have come down with it this past week.

I broke down and got on the scale today. Did you hear the screams! Well at least I know why all my clothes feel tight. If you are unhappy and you know it ...have a snack!!! Oh the evils of sugar.

LLJsmom, I have had the have a snack song in my head all day today!

Marcy, How are you feeling today. We're you able to get any sleep last night! My husband was laughing at me last night when I was reading your post. I told him I get so hungry everytime she posts. I bet she is just the best cook!

Kristie, I also have seen the stories about Bono's accident. Those X-rays were something to see.

OV, Are you ready for your visit with your mom. Hopefully all will go well and you enjoy your time with her. We are here if you need to vent. I hope the two of you have fun together.
 
Hey girls, happy Monday, well maybe happy now that it is almost over.

Missy, congrats on making a decision to try work. No doubt there will be pros and cons but it is a step forward. For me, having the courage to try is the biggest thing.

There was chocolate covered almond toffee I the kitchen all day at the office, and I took not one bite. Yay for me!! I convinced my DH to join a pricey gym and now he is going daily. I joined it first b/c I got sick of major sanitary issues at 24 hour fitness, of which I have been a member for about 10 years. I heard some cleaning ladies talk about finding poop in the shower stalls. That just did it for me. So I went to the extreme opposite and joined a club that offers kiehl's products and eucalyptus scented towels.
 
Kristie, I did see an interview with Bono about his elbow. I’ll have to go check out his X-ray. As Missy said; I am sure he’ll have the best surgeons and PT probably coming to his house.

Missy, good idea to remember how important it is to take breaks from computer and close up work. Your eyes need the change. I am feeling better but the crud isn’t gone yet. Everyone at work who has the same thing has it lingering as well. We are all coughing. I only take the Nyquil or cough syrup at night so I don’t cough so much when I’m sleeping. How was PT today? Yes, you have mentioned you are anxious for spring. Too funny, I think you can’t wait until it’s spring. It will be there before you know it. I’ll still be talking about snowstorms and you’ll have flowers in bloom there.

Callie, I don’t blame the dog for not wanting to go outside. I did hear you scream today. I was worried. That’s what January is for; trying to break us of our sugar habit. My leftover spaghetti was pretty tasty at lunch today. Marty is gone for a few weeks so I won’t be cooking much now. I’ll save up for when he gets home.

Hi Ovi!

LLJsmom, yay for staying away from the toffee. I would certainly switch to a different gym too. YUCK!!!

Marty is on his way to Romania. And wouldn’t you know it? I can’t print off my laptop, phone or iPad. None of them can find the air printers. I can print off the Mac since it is hooked up directly to the laser printer. I can’t access our external hard drive. I send Marty and email and said “wouldn’t you freaking know it?” I told him if my lose my internet I will go INSANE.

We were in the 40’s here today and some of the snow is melting. How exciting.

Take care.
Marcy
 
Hi Missy, My niece had the blood tests taken today for Accutane. As soon as they get the results they will give her the prescription for the drug. She also said they will need to repeat the blood tests monthly and she isn't sure if insurance will cover the blood tests. Does that sounds correct to you? She said she doesn't care, she will pay anything to have her skin clear again. I so hope this will work for her. She has been so depressed because of this. Please don't be so hard on yourself when you feel bad Missy. What you have had to deal with is so hard. We are supposed to go shopping downtown this weekend. I wish you could join us.

Hi Marcy, I'm glad you are at least sleeping a little better. My husband said many people he works with have come down with the same thing. They were saying on the news tonight that the cough can linger for 4 to 6 weeks. Its hard to get healthy if you are unable to get any sleep.

With as much as Marty travels don't you know the rule. Everything bad happens when they are out of town! Every awful snow storm, every flood, storms so strong they blow out windows in your basement, hail storms so bad your roof and siding needs to be replaced, it will happen when they are out of town. And yes EVERTHING in the last sentence has happened to me when he was traveling for business. We joke about it all the time at my house. Now if the Internet went out for days the dog and I would have to leave and stay someplace else that has working Internet. Was Marty able to walk you to thru what you need to do to get everything working again?

We are in the middle of a snow storm right now. At first they were saying we could get up to 8 inches, now they are saying only 4. We really can't complain. It's really cold here now too but it is nothing compared to last year.
 
azstonie|1420472848|3812085 said:
Treating hospital: http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-30122767

X-ray and Commentary:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2895675/Now-s-broken-Bono-U2-star-reveals-X-ray-elbow-shattered-bicycle-accident.html

2015 is going to be a great year for you, Missy!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks Kristie! I hope 2015 is going to be a great year for all of us!!! Filled with health and happiness and well a little bling too if possible. But mainly wishing for health and happiness for us all. :appl: :appl: :appl:

Re Bono and his X-rays no matter what he is going to have PT for as long as he wants that is for sure. I on the other hand had quite a frustrating almost hour long phone conversation with Cigna and it is official. They SUCK. :knockout:

Let's just say I am done fighting for PT to be covered. Not worth it. I had a good session yesterday and Victor said I have not lost any ground and my walk is good so YAY. I have more work to be done but I will continue with paying once a week for PT out of pocket and working everyday on my ankle ROM and toe tendon stretching at home.

Moving forward...
 
Callie, stay warm. Brrr too cold. It is going to be quite chilly here this week as well. We are supposed to have some snow also but I don't think very much is expected thank goodness.

LOL on the scale. That is why I don't own one. As long as my clothes fit I am good. Even if they are occasionally a bit snug. Which thanks to some of you well you know who you are...JK!!! :cheeky:

Please get that flu shot already Callie. I hate to sound like a broken record but do it! Has your dh gotten his flu shot? I hope so. I know it is not a perfect shot re protection but it is better than no protection. And make sure your nieces have had their flu shots too.

I am hoping your niece does well on Accutane. I think at this point it is her best move. Monthly blood tests are the requirements and perhaps urine tests too? I cannot remember but don't worry. This is how she will be monitored to make sure all is OK re liver function etc. Remember to have her moisturize prophylactically before she gets super dry. Lips and skin and to drink a lot of water too. And make sure her diet is good with enough healthy fats and protein. Wishing her much success with this!!!

Oh and have fun boot shopping! I so wish I could join you and your nieces too!!!


LLJsmom, YAY! Good for you! There is no way I could have stayed away from the toffees or anything that decadent. I just cannot do it lol. I used to have stronger willpower. What happened lol.

I am glad you joined a cleaner gym. That would have totally grossed me out too. One way to stay healthy this winter is to be vigilant about that kind of stuff. Wash your hands or use the alcohol sanitizer as much as you need to and try not to touch your face with your hands ever (it's amazing how often we do this throughout the day without realizing it!) and you will be OK. Ooh kiehls products and eucalyptus towels sound heavenly. Look what I am missing out on by working out at home... ENJOY!

Marcy, Oh no. That is exactly what happened to me too whenever Greg used to travel for work. As soon as he left everything technology related would stop working properly..not fun! I hope you can get it all to work properly again soon! And I hope Marty has a good trip and returns home before you know it. I hate thinking of you all alone in the middle of the freezing winter and having to get to navigate snowy roads to work. Glad the snow is melting now though and perhaps you will have a warmer week than we will. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel 100% better already. That cough is lingering isn't it and I hate it when that happens. (((Hugs))) for healing!!!

Ovi, I hope you are enjoying a good visit with your mom and that all is going smoothly. Thinking of you and sending collective PS hugs to you for a lovely visit.


Thanks for the words of encouragement re work everyone. The clinic administrator (second in command not the chief) called me yesterday (OMG no time at all once the new year began LOL) and I told her I would call her Friday after my surgeon follow up visit to tell her when I would be returning to work. OK so just a few days till I have to decide. My girlfriend at work called me too and told me to come back sooner than next month because the longer I wait the harder it is. Umm yeah but at this point what does a few more weeks matter. I think I am hoping that magically my skin improves by then lol. We shall see.
 
Hey Gang:

Marcy, have you tried Mucinex with cough suppressant? It works better than Nyquil for me. Romania, that is some distance. Marty must rack up the frequent flyer miles. When Bob used to travel for business, the garage door springie thing would break rendering it inoperable, the internet connection would go down, one of the dogs would get sick, you name it. Ugh.

Callie, your niece, I totally understand her response regarding paying. If someone told me "If you give me $2000 right now you will be 20 pounds lighter" I would do it in a HEARTBEAT. I knew a couple kids with the cystic acne when I was in college and that is nothing to sneeze it, it changes a person's personality if it goes on too long. I hope the Accutane works for her, so many people at the clinic where I worked had great results.

LLJs, hee, the Snack Song, I know it! I saw the commercial right around New Year's Day and I was like WORD. That is me. I eat when I'm hungry, anxious, sad, happy, you name it there is a food item that corresponds for me. I lost 5 pounds in December and I committed to losing 5 pounds by the end of January OR I DON'T GET TO BUY ONE SINGLE THING AT THE TUCSON GEM & MINERAL SHOW January 31-Feb2. That would be my idea of hell and so far its working, I went to Costco and Whole Foods yesterday and didn't buy anything that could give me trouble. A big first step, if its not in the house I can't eat it. Now that my knee/leg are feeling better I'm getting back on the old treadmill.

Ovi, how are you? Have you been out and about much?

What up Junebug?

Missy, Cigna. Lot of Cigna in Arizona. The insurance industry is my pet peeve. Because they exist to do nothing other than rake in profits and pay shareholders, I have always felt they should not be associated with medical care. My car? Okay. My house? Okay I guess. Malpractice, okay. But deciding what my doctor can do? No thanks. Sigh. I'm so glad you and Greg basically took over your rehab and PT. You guys have done an amazing job and you have the mobility and function to show for it. Good going!
 
Hi Girls

LLJsmom, OMG the gym story is so gross. Just yesterday I was thinking about rejoining the health club near my home. I think I'll stick to the treadmill in the basement. I just need to get myself motivated to get on the darn thing. I joined a gym a couple of summers ago and never went. I was walking the dog a few miles everyday and working in the yard everyday and just never went to the gym. I have gotten bad since last fall and really need to get motivated to get on the treadmill. Especially since I stepped on the scale yesterday. How on earth did you manage to stay away from the toffee?

Missy, I will keep you posted about my niece. She should be able to start the Accutane today if her blood tests are okay. She wasn't happy that the blood tests were over $250 per month. I'm under the impression that her parents were not going to pay for the blood test.
I'll find out more when I see her this weekend. Thank you for the information about keeping her skin and lips moisturized. They warned her about the medicine drying her lips and skin badly.

I didn't weigh myself for over 25 years. I was told after I recovered from the eating disorder to throw the darn thing out. My clothes always fit so basically no worries. I started weighing myself after I guit work and lost weight. I was afraid something was really wrong because I never lose weight unless I'm under a lot of stress. The doctor ran lots of test and everything was fine. Turns out the not going to lunch everyday, not eating handfuls of M&M's and donuts was probably the reason for the weight loss. I have no willpower and there were always donuts and candy at the office. When I'm at home I eat a piece of friut or carrot sticks if I'm hungry instead of junk. Honestly I don't want to gain weight now because I have a lot of money invested in my wardrobe. If I gain any it just goes to my middle and that's the last place I want it to go. I did freak out for about an hour yesterday after getting on the scale. I ate way too much sugar this past month and absolutely nothing was in moderation. I have really been terrible. Hence the screams yesterday morning.

Has the doctor ever given you a hard time about your weight. A hundred pounds at 5'6" is really thin. One of my doctors can be brutal if he considers you overweight.

It's was -10 degrees this morning. -23 with wind chill. I'm already ready for summer. Thank goodness we only got about 3 or 4 inches of snow last night.

I plan on getting my flu shot this week or early next week. I need to go to the doctors office and have been putting it off because there are so many people with the flu at the doctor. My husband got his shot in early October. He gets one every year due to all the traveling he does.

I seriously doubt that not going to work in the next couple weeks will make going back in March more difficult. I had to laugh, I think your co-worker misses your company.

Kristie, Thank you for your kind words about my niece. Honestly I would pay $2,000 today, in a heartbeat, if it cleared up her skin. It has really affected her mood and self confidence. Her immediate family is not known for giving sympathy either. It makes me angry because the last thing she needs right now is hearing people making jokes about it. They can be brutal. I can't believe my brother and I are even related at times. We view things so differently.

I'm with you on the treadmill. But boy if you can lose 5 lbs in December, that's fantastic. Pat yourself on the back!!! It sounds like you are doing great. The key really is not bringing the bad stuff in the house. It's so hard to walk away from.

Junebug, How are you? Staring at your new ring!

OV, I hope you are enjoying your time with your mom!
 
Hi missy and friends!

Yikes, this thread is moving quickly! I actually started a post the other night, but I was tired and a bit down, and I started getting maudlin and began to ramble :oops: Note to self, don't post late at night lol.

Missy, sounds like you're a little more at peace with your decision on returning to work - I can see both sides, on the one hand, going back to work will get you out and being around people might make you feel better and give you the feeling of having a purpose and some structure - but on the other hand it's a big transition for you, and I think it's important for you to feel ready and up for it. And I know your skin is a big factor. In my depressing post that I deleted I had said maybe give yourself a few more months and see how your skin is doing and how you're feeling at that point. Hugs to you, I know this is weighing on you, but try your best not to stress or feel guilty. Of course I will support you in whatever you decide, because at the end of the day all that matters is how you feel, and what you think is best for your well-being. Hugs, I know you have a lot on your mind right now.

I'm glad to hear PT is going well! I continue to be impressed with your ability to forge ahead, even when you don't feel like it haha! You're an inspiration, that's for sure. I am trying very hard to exercise regularly and tbh there are days I want to quit because I'm so out of shape and it's really hard for me, but then I tell myself not to be such a wimp and if missy can plug along and work so hard after all she's been through, then I should be able to manage doing a 30 minute exercise video!

Oh, I looked up recipes for cauliflower puree no dairy and a bunch came up - some suggestions were oil, mayonnaise, and almond milk. My brother doesn't eat dairy and says he's going to try coconut milk so I'll let you know how he makes out.

Ovi, I am so sorry to hear about your marital issues, you are a fabulous person and you deserve to be happy and feel at peace so I am sending best wishes that you can come to a decision that will bring you those things. I hope you are having a good visit with your mother, I'm thinking of you and I hope you're doing well!

LLJsmom, sounds like you're feeling a bit better now that you're home and back to your usual routine! Glad your Tahoe trip was enjoyable for your family. I can relate to a lot of what you write - I think I have some kind of low level depression that sometimes prevents me from enjoying things. Exercise sounds like a big help to you, and I also have found that exercising definitely helps with my mood. And I'm with you on the sweets! Sometimes I find myself eating junk, and I don't even really want it. I also get the urge for sweets at night, which is the worst time to eat it! My mother was hospitalized in August, and I was so stressed out I lost my craving for sugar. It felt good to have that monkey off my back - but then the holiday gift baskets started arriving and I fell off the wagon, really bad! Trying hard to climb back on. Good for you for resisting the toffee! I was so proud of myself the other night because I was able to resist the chocolate covered pecans I've been picking at. I should just throw the darn things out but I can't bring myself to do it!

Marcy, sorry to hear you are still under the weather, coughs can linger for a long time and it's so frustrating. And yes, things always seem to go wrong when we're on our own, it never fails! Hope you can get it straightened out - technology is great but can also be maddening when it doesn't work and you can't figure out why!

Calliecake, good luck with the snow - here in NJ we got a small amount, but just enough to make getting around a pain. I'm hoping your niece does well on the Accutane. I was in Target the other day and the poor kid checking me out had a very bad case of acne and my heart went out to him.

Kristie, I guess I'm a part-time caregiver at this point. My mother had a stroke 4 years ago which left her with balance problems, short term memory loss and some cognitive deficits. My brother (never married) lives with her. Her condition has declined over the years, I think in part to inactivity and social isolation. We tried to keep her active and connected to the outside world but she fought us and we just eventually gave up. She is very sedentary which had led to increased weakness and fatigue. Luckily she can move around with a walker, get in and out of bed, use the commode, feed herself etc. but these things have become more difficult over time. The bottom line is she needs a lot of assistance with daily living and we are responsible for all aspects of her life. She is oriented to place but not always time. She can carry on conversations and is generally "with it" although sometimes becomes confused. Luckily, she is calm but can be stubborn. Her memory issues are challenging. She is bored but can't really entertain herself - the only thing that distracts her is company, which is mainly me. My brother and I do all cooking, cleaning, laundry, and shopping. Right now things are manageable but not always easy. I live a little over an hour away, so for the past 4 years I have been spending 2 nights at my mothers. I am here four days a week. I arrive in the morning, stay over, and leave late afternoon the next day. So I do get a break and spend time at home, but at the same time it is hard to disengage and sometimes I feel I no sooner get home and I am heading back! But my brother needs a break and my mother needs the social/mental stimulation. I have never admitted this to anyone but my husband and therapist, but sometimes I feel trapped. Even more so lately, now that my brother has become increasingly dependent on me (which I do understand, this is a tough situation). But it's hard, I have a house, a husband and kids, they need time and attention too. Oh my gosh, so sorry for the book, didn't mean to go on, but I feel I've been cryptic in my posts about what my life is like and just wanted to explain how things are with me!

Hope everyone is having a good day!
 
Junebug, re trapped. Bring it here, we can take it and we get it.

Regarding feeling trapped, that is a logical and rational response to your situation as caregiver to your mother. In the scenario you laid out above, you are trapped.

May I put a few things out there for your consideration? I've been through this first with my grandparents and now my 84-year-old parents.
1. Many communities have senior centers.
I don't care that your mom doesn't want to go and neither do you or your brother. She's going. The first beneficiaries of her going will be you and then your bro. She will benefit also, she gets dressed for someone to see her out in public, she talks to someone other than YOU. Even if at first the only bring-home she has are complaints, so what. Eventually she will become part of that community if you make her go regularly. Let's say twice a week. She goes twice a week. She doesn't have to like the idea.
2. Respite care.
This is available through a variety of agencies. Ask at her doctor's, the senior center, etc. Even if YOUR MOM has to pay for it, she's having respite care so you and your brother get a break. She won't want to. That's okay, she doesn't have to want to. She won't like the respite care people? Okay, she doesn't have to! In the same way we HAD to go to school, get jobs, have neighbors, we all do $#it we don't want to in order for the wheels of our lives and community to turn.

My real life examples: My father, at 80, went into a Continuining Care Retirement Community. It has all the levels of care from completely independent living (meals and housecleaning and daily checkin done, though). He said he didn't want to. He loves it there. He sings in the choir, which he didn't want to do. He eats his meals in the dining hall with different people every day--even the ones he doesn't like (and he sure doesn't like some of them) give him stimulation and chat and an outlook outside himself. He plays Mah Jong with The Ladies there. He gets out of their unit and my mom's hair every single day. He has made it to 84 in good health because of all this.

My MIL, died at 73 years old. She said she was very lonely but refused to go to the senior center, travel, or go into an active adult community (she wanted her children to amuse her and care for her. ). So she became a real pill to be around, got very sick frequently and when she passed unexpectedly she had a very respectable amount of money in the bank (cold hard cash), two pensions, social security from her and her late husband. Money was not an issue, she could have traveled, she could have done any damn thing she wanted to. I think she died because her life dwindled away to being unhappy and isolated.

Anyway, my husband and his brother, they did not get a little tough with her. When they would suggest anything, a trip to see her sister, an apartment in town, a unit at the assisted living center, respite care, senior center, she would loudly say NO I DON"T WANT THAT and my husband and BIl let that be the end of the conversation. So that went the way it did.

My father? My mom and I told him we didn't care he didn't want to move in to the CCRC, he was either going to go there with my mom or they would live separately and he could live wherever he wanted to without our involvement. So he went and he loves it there. Don't get me wrong, he loves to bitch about some of the residents there, some of the staff there, whatever, but he gets off his ass every day and talks to someone other than my mom (or me) and he gets dressed nicely, shaves, etc.

So my point here is your mom won't want to do anything to relieve the pressure on your or your brother. You're going to have to take control here (she's in control here now and that is why you ARE indeed trapped) over a few things and she either goes to the senior center and has respite care weekly or you change your caretaking to a few hours weekly (no living there part time). Even though she is your mom, the balance of power must shift.


GO Junebug!
 
That said, do what you need/want to do.
 
Hi ladies! It's a snowy evening here and the temps are dropping. Hope everyone is safe and warm where they are. There is something very nice about being safe and warm with loved ones (furbabies included) on a cold snowy evening.

Thanks Kristie! I figure if I don't take control and make the best of my situation who will right? I am pissed at the unfair way the case was (or actually was not because in the end they didn't even review it but really not worth anymore of my energy) decided. But the fact remains no one is going to be as invested in my welfare and well being than me and my dh so there you go. Thanks for your always enthusiastic and helpful encouragement and advice!

Hi Callie! I feel good about your niece starting accutane and I think she will do well. Fingers crossed!

I cannot remember who said if money can cure a problem then it really wasn't a problem to begin with and I second that and what you wrote about being happy to pay whatever necessary to take care of the skin issue for your niece. If we could just throw thousands at our skin issues and fix them it would be a no brainer. Unfortunately that doesn't solve the problem. Time and persistence and hopefully the Accutane will do its magic. I cannot believe your brother will not help pay for her blood tests and that the insurance won't cover them either. It's not like Accutane is experimental for acne. Stupid insurance companies! :nono:

When I was down to 100 lbs (Feb/March/April 2014) I was pretty sick so yeah the doctors were concerned and wanted me to gain weight. So did I very badly.
My overall body burning was so bad during that time period when I lost the weight that I couldn't even focus on anything. It's all a big blur to me now. The brain really does a good job of protecting us from the traumatic memories I think. Or that's what I tell myself anyway LOL because my memory is pretty bad even in non traumatic times haha.

I am definitely at a good for me healthy weight now though I have no clue what it is since I do not own a scale. During past annual weigh ins at my internist I have been around 108-110 I think. I might be up from that given all the holiday festivities lol. I will find out in May at my annual what my weight it and I am good with that. I feel good (besides my face discomfort and ankle (which is not bad) discomfort) and my clothes fit. I have a healthy appetite again and I am motivated to keep eating well so I remain strong and healthy!

I am glad you are getting the flu shot. You don't have to go to your doctor's office where all the sick people are and can get it at a pharmacy at least in NY you can and I think you can where you live too. Just giving you another perhaps easier option.

LOL you are right about my friend at work. She has been trying to get me to come back for a while now. She is a podiatrist and we work one of the same days together and since I have left I know she misses me as I do her. Though she has visited me and we speak every week. Work can be a lonely place sometimes and now that almost everyone of the old timers have left since my accident (total coincidence) my friend and I are two of the only old timer clinicians left there.

Junebug, you are such a sweetheart. Thank you for your kind post and for totally getting how I feel. I am apprehensive and I know it is mainly because of the skin issue because even though my leg is not 100% I am good enough I feel to return to work. I have to be careful there of course and Greg really prefers I take a taxi each way because I am not steady on the stairs with the things I will be carrying for work. But the fact remains my skin is bothering me physically and emotionally and so I am not in a vacuum with just my leg to consider. And thank you for understanding. I wish my boss at work would be so understanding lol. I think he would have a heart attack if I were to say I will be back in March vs coming back sooner.

As for your exercise what I do when I feel like I just don't want to or don't have the energy (which is exactly how I felt today!) is I play a little mind game with myself. I tell myself OK just do 10 minutes and then just another and so on and so forth. Just make a little pact with yourself to do a little something re exercise because getting started is the hardest part and you do not have to do a long workout to get the benefits. You can do 10 minute walks a few times a day if possible. Or even one 10 minute walk and work your way up. It really is getting started that is the hardest part. Hey if using me as an example is in any way helpful then YAY! Glad to do anything I can to help you in any way!
And I know I sound like a broken record but I wish we lived closer because we could be exercise buddies! That would make it way more fun!

Thanks for looking up the cauliflower recipes. I haven't gotten around to doing that and it sounds good. I will find one without dairy and ask Greg to make it for us. :halo: And I will report back.

Junebug, I know I have said this before but my heart goes out to you. What you are doing for your family is a huge sacrifice and I know you want to be there for them all. You have so much on your plate. It is so challenging when our parents get older and you also have your own family to care for and also living an hour plus away adds to the stress. What Kristie wrote is great advice and makes a lot of sense but of course only you can decide what is best for your situation. You are an amazing daughter, sister, wife and mother. But always remember to please take care of yourself and sometimes that means putting yourself first. If you are not good then no one in your immediate circles will be good. Biggest (((hugs))) to you dear Junebug.
 
Thank you so much for the helpful post Kristie! You make really great points and yes, by giving in to my mother we are certainly trapping ourselves. I really appreciate your advice and your understanding of the situation! She has quite successfully manipulated us into having things 100% her way, and we do need to at least get her out of the house and look at something besides the four walls of her living room. I think she is slowly going stir-crazy and I'm tired of being a party to it. It's going to be necessary to wait for warmer weather, though. It's freezing here with icy conditions. And we might very well have to look into respite care because I fully intend to go the beach this summer for more than 3 days! That is not unreasonable, and I won't feel guilty for it. Time for Junebug to put her foot down lol. Thanks again for your support and for sharing your experiences. It really helps to hear from someone who has been through this.

Missy, thanks for your kind words! I made a commitment 4 years ago and intend to keep it, but that doesn't mean it's always easy so thank you for recognizing that and for your understanding and support, I can't tell you how much it helps me. I agree that Kristie's post makes a lot of sense! Love the 10 minute tip - You're so right, the hardest part is getting started. It would be so great having you ladies as exercise buddies - although I'd be embarrassed for all of you to see how out of shape I am haha!

Meant to share this link http://www.yummly.com/recipes/dairy-free-mashed-cauliflower

Hope everyone's having a good night!
 
Its a rough situation. We want you at the beach for the entire time!!!!
 
Callie, I hope Accutane works for your niece without any side effects. It sounds like people there have the same crud. I hate to hear the cough can linger that long. I made it through the night last night without coughing and without taking any cough syrup. I thought that was progress. I am laughing at your list of things that can and did go wrong when your husband was out of town because I have so been there myself. One time when Marty was on his way to Hong Kong he had 14 emails when he landed because the heater quit on a Friday night in the middle of a snowstorm. I was in an absolute panic by the time he landed. I sucked it up all weekend wearing sweats, using blankets and found out Monday morning it was lucky the furnace wouldn’t stay running because it had a short in it. And probably nothing ever breaks when your husband is home, right? Stay warm there!

Missy and Kristie, I am with you on a great year for us with a little new bling to brighten our day.

Missy, I am sorry to hear you didn’t get anywhere with Cigna on PT. I am glad you will keep going once a week even though it is coming out of our pocket. That is great to hear Victor thought you were doing well. I know you will faithfully continue to do your therapy at home. I have not tried to fix anything with the printers. I worry if I go downstairs and reset the modem or something I’ll lose my internet. I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead. If I need to print something I’ll put it on a flash drive and go use our Mac to print it. The air printing has spoiled me for sure. The main roads aren’t bad here but side streets are sheets of ice. We were warm today. More snow flurries and cold tomorrow though. Sounds like our cold and snow finally reached you. Ugh. Yes, my cough is lingering but I at least don’t feel like I need a nap every hour. Good luck with your surgeon this week and picking that date to venture back to work. You can impress them all with your cool new boots! I like your just 10 minutes approach to exercise. I think that is a very good way to approach it.

Kristie, I have not tried Mucinex but I know many people swear by it. I think they have kid doses; I should try that first. It seems to be a common problem for us ladies, when our husbands travel everything will go wrong. It’s a good thing we have shopping to keep ourselves calmed down. Marty does wrack up the miles traveling. I am awful at geography so one of my iPad apps is a world clock so I’ll change it to wherever Marty is going and see what countries he’s by, just to help make me more nervous you know.

Junebug, my husband actually had me switch to all Apple products because they aren’t as buggy as windows so my iPad and laptop don’t give me problems but I am at a total loss on how to fix things when it breaks. Bless both you and your brother; you have a very full load taking care of your mother. My mom honestly should have been in a nursing home at least the last year of her life and my dad did it all for her and I sure saw how hard it was and what a toll it took on him. Both you and your brother need to have some well deserved breaks and I know it takes so much out of you. Juggling that with your family must be overwhelming at time. My thoughts are with you. I know even in our small town they have a service called care givers that will just come spend an afternoon or evening for free so the family can get away for a while.

Marty made it to Bucharest. I picked up a few groceries on the way home today. I eat pretty cheaply when it’s just me.

We got our shade installed in our bedroom today. It is so dark in there now. We had drapes with blackout liners but now there is also a shade with blackout liners. I’ll probably kill myself tonight if I had to get up and visit the little PS room. I am going to sleep really well; no lights! Woo hoo!!!

Take care.
Marcy
 
Hi Girls,

Missy, It totally slipped my mind all you went through at the beginning of last year. No wonder you lost weight. It really surprises me that you had not lost more weight than you did. In the pictures you had posted the past few months you look so healthy. You can tell that you exercise a lot. You look like a model Missy! As far as the insurance goes I swear they makes things so difficult so people just give up. The company I used to work had Cigna, I never took it and stayed on my husbands insurance but I remember everyone complaining about having to jump thru hoops to get their claims processed.

Kristie, Everything you wrote about caring for aging parents is so true. I love your posts! My mother in law was very much the way you described yours. She had more than enough money set aside so,she could enjoy her life and she ansolutely refused to do anything, She was very close to her sister. Her sister did not have an easy life. We asked her numerous times why she didn't take her sister and go to Hawaii. She had always wanted to go and they were both healthy. They would have had so much fun together. She refused to go because she wasn't about to pay her sisters way.

Junebug, I'm so sorry for all you have been dealing with. I think it would be hard for you not to feel trapped at times. I think anyone would feel the way you are describing. Kristie is correct though when she said you need to also take time for yourself. Have you seriously considered hiring a service to help care for your mom so you can take a break. Your plate is so full right now. I just don't want it to negatively impact your health. It also feels terrible to feel like you are being manipulated. Please come here to talk and vent when you are having bad days. I wished I lived closer. I would be happy to sit with your mom to give you a break.


Marcy, I'm sorry it's icy outside now. That has to be the absolute worst to drive in. Please be careful. I swear every woman I know who has a husband that travels goes thru the same thing with everything bad happening while they are out of town. The furnace going out would really frighten me for fear the pipes would freeze. It sounds like you cough is getting somewhat better. Please rest all you can so you can get rid of this virus.
 
Hi Girls
The wear her sucks here too and I have no net, fortunately I still have my phone. My mom is here and we have been fighting mice. The cats would love them but they only come out when the cats are in the bedrooms for the night. Until now we only had mice in the attic but now they invaded the kitchen and the House it is gross. Marcy marty is so close perhaps one time You could come and visít with him. I hate writing from my phone as I make so many typos due to autocorrections so will try Tomorrow. Junebug thanks for the encouragement most likely I will do what at least gives me a chance of happiness, You are right it is the worst to live in a poisonous situation but not complaining as we all make our own choices and it is my fault and I need to solve it, we shall see, sometimes it is very tough and sometimes it is ok. Missy How are You Dear friend? Hugs to all of You girls!
 
Calliecake, thank you so much sweetie - I wish we lived closer so we could do something fun on one of my days off lol! I will probably take you up on your offer of venting but I'll try not to take advantage :cheeky: - you'll all start skipping my posts! I think we are going to reach a point where we have someone from an agency come in to give us a break - we actually hired someone when my mother first came home from rehab and she put up with it for about a week and then completely.flipped.out about it so we stopped. but I think we're going to have to revisit the idea soon, especially if she declines any further.

Marcy, thanks for the supportive words! It is so commendable that your father cared for your mother but yes, it must have been very hard for him. You have written about the loss of your parents, and I feel very badly that I haven't offered my condolences yet, so I want to let you know I am truly sorry for your losses. I have been meaning to tell you that for a while now.

We switched to apple products for the same reason! And yes, overall we are having an easier time with them as well. I don't blame you for not wanting to touch anything, I'd be the same way lol! Glad you at least have a way of printing something if you need to. How long will Marty be away? Hopefully it's not for too long. And you're going to be sleeping very well now that you have the extra shade! It's amazing how much of a difference it makes. We need room darkening shades too, the street lights shine right through our blinds. I wear an eye mask but it's kind of uncomfortable and always slips off lol. It's actually my daughter's and says "do not disturb" :D

Ovi, glad you could pop in! Sorry to hear about the mice though, yikes. Hope you're having a good visit with your mom, and looking forward to hearing from you, I miss you!

LLJsmom, hope you're doing ok with the sugar - I unfortunately had an encounter last night with some evil chocolate that would not stop calling my name, ugh - I'm going to bed early tonight just so I won't be tempted :wall:

Missy, hope your day went well! Thinking of you.
 
Hi girls! junebug you are so right. This thread moves fast. You turn around and you've missed a week of activity. But jb, I read about you taking care of your mom. You loving wonderful daughter, you and your brother both, doing your best and it ain't easy. As always, Kristie gave some practical, smart and realistic advice. I know I will need it at some point so I know I'll come searching for it in this thread. All great, but for me would be so hard to do. I can only add that my heart is with you, and that I respect you greatly for hanging in there. And this morning the sugar won. 2 tiny Mexican wedding cookies, but they were homemade and I could not resist. And one chocolate coconut cluster. I do agree. I hate it when they just call your name. But tonight will be good. Well ok yesterday chocolate covered peanuts for dessert, but a lot more peanut than chocolate!! :lol: I think I am taking positive steps. :). I am substituting it with more cheese though. Yum!!!

callie, how is your niece? I am sure she hopes everyday to be a good one, like Missy. I can only imagine how terrible the powerlessness must feel. I hope her new medication will be effective. Your being there to lean on and to show empathy for her makes the biggest difference. I remember when my mom was there for me during those 2 really miserable preteen years. It was annoying that she worried, but it still felt good, that someone cared, I mean really cared.

Marcy hope you are feeling better. Did you see a doctor yet? Even if the symptoms might be subsiding you don't want this to become walking pneumonia. Ok I'm sorry to be preachy. It is just you don't there to be long term complications. We had 63 degree weather today. I know. Crazy. I ran outside along the embarcadero and next to pacbell park. The view of the bay bridge was amazing. I am so lucky I get to live here. Sorry. You know I don't mean to rub it in. I hope Marty will be back soon. I can't even turn on the DVD player without my DH. Forget printing. Why do we need so many remote controls?!?!

Ok sorry this is a half post but I am going to post it before it gets eaten. Hugs!!! Brb!!
 
kristie, you know I love reading your posts. You're my "tell it like it is" friend, and I am usually that person among my friends. Like I told junebug, I'll be rereading your advice at some point. It's good stuff, real stuff, and will save a ton of stress and heartache but not always easy. My relatives would probably tell me the same thing but I really hate hearing any advice from them.
 
No, no, I like your posts! :wavey:

The Art of Negotiating:

You give? You get. (This was what I walked away with after 5 days of negotiations training. But it's RIGHT.)

Home slice, its never too late to take it to HEART. Practice on your kids prior to using your stealth powers on your parental units. :devil:
 
Ovi, ok I am afraid to ask but will anyway. What are "fighting mice"? Is it what it sounds like? Omg, if it is, you need more cats! Is that insensitive to say given that you just parted company with Puma? Nothing is more effective at ridding yourself of mice. I'm scared. If they are making your home a battle ground, time to take drastic measures...
 
Missy, how are you today?

Callie, we’ve had Cigna before too and you do have to fight with them for practically everything on coverage. We have Aetna now and it seems to be pretty good. I think houses and stuff have sensors and they just know when the “fix it” guy is gone. Our old house had about 15 foot-vaulted ceilings in a couple of rooms and our den had a smoke detector right at the peak of one wall. The battery would go out in the middle of the night the day Marty left for a trip. Marty could barely get to it so there wasn’t a chance in heck I was going to get up there to change the battery. How is your cold and snow? The roads weren’t too icy here this morning, I was glad.

Ovi, mice? I’d be screaming like a little girl! Marty actually had a connecting flight in Vienna. I hope you are enjoying your mom’s visit.

Junebug, watching my dad definitely makes me really understand what you are going through; it is so rough. You are in my thoughts. My mom really resisted getting any outside help but sometimes my dad just had to get away for the day. Thank you for your condolences about my parents, I still have ups and downs but I know I always will. I am glad you like your apple products. At this point in time I don’t see I’d ever go back to a Windows based machine. Your daughter’s eye mask sounds perfect. I’ve put a folded up washcloth on my eyes before to help me sleep. I swear I must have paper-thin eyelids.

LLJsmom, I think eating something you want in moderation isn’t that bad. You are making positive steps! I am doing better every day, thank you for worrying about me though. I resist going to the doctor but I will if I think I have something really wrong. Don’t worry about talking about the nice weather and view of the bay bridge. Enjoy them for me. I can still see the sights driving around all the bridges. It was awesome!!! Golden Gate was the best though. I couldn’t play a DVD if someone paid me. I’d put it in our computer before I’d try to play it in our DVD player. We have all the “smart” crap that thinks it know what you want to play but it sure doesn’t help me get it back to the TV.

Kristie, I need to work on my stealth powers. It seems to work on my teddy bears but not so much my employees.

My really dark bedroom was great last night except I didn’t sleep worth a darn. I was watching the clock most of the night. I hate nights like that. I am still coughing some but not enough to keep me awake all night. Must be my guilty conscious. I should have just got up and done some online shopping.

Marcy
 
Missy, going back a few posts, but glad you made it to PT that day. And you do have it a lot worse than us in CA. With the temperatures dropping and you already not wanting to leave your house cause of your skin. Good for you for just getting out there. Stay warm and safe. I just looked up your weather today. 12 degrees. Ugh!! We have nothing to complain about at 57. How are you feeling about going back to work?
 
Hi Girls,

Ok, so to continue, the reason I talked about my gym was because I am so excited that my DH is going regularly. I have been trying to get him to go regularly for the last 15 years. But he always had an excuse, and really was not motivated. It's not like he's excessively overweight. He can stand to lose 10-15 pounds. You know, expanding gut that can be hidden by the right clothes. But his numbers are not good, you know what I mean? He's always on the cusp on needing blood pressure and cholesterol medication. His father had an aortic something or other, where they had to put a stent in his aorta to prevent it from expanding any more. Anyway, I do have concerns about his health, and because he's not obviously overweight, it's easy to just not deal with it. He works out sporadically, particularly when the doctor says he has to be on meds. Anyhoo, for the past week, he has been heading to the gym daily, WITHOUT me reminding him or trying to schedule it into his day for him. And he is finding that he enjoys it. I am really excited that this is the start of some GOOD addictions. Funnily enough, I think it's because he knows he's paying $150/month for it, so it's motivating him to get his money's worth. :clap: Well, whatever it takes. $150/month is a small price to pay. I hope this keeps up. I hear about husbands falling over dead, strokes, heart attacks, in their mid-40s, and no one saw it coming, YKWIM?

And the other thing is I need a little bling consult. So when I got my ring back from Victor, I could NOT find the GIA inscription. Freak out moment!! I took it to a jeweler, who spend 15 minutes, and could not find it either. I bought a microscope to examine. No luck. I told Victor about it, and he was pretty freaked out. He said he was sure that I had the right stone. I am 99% sure, but would feel better if I could see the inscription. Victor followed up with me. Anyway, I am going to send it back to Victor so he can reorient the stone so the inscription is showing. And while he has it, I think I am going to have him make me a notched engraved platinum band. I was going to get a matching diamond band, but having two next to each other kinda makes me unable to focus on either one. And I know I have said it a million times, but I SOOOOO love the shank on this ring. It is just so impossibly delicate and beautiful so I thought a platinum band won't distract from the sparkle of the shank.

Anyway, I was wondering about the notch. Won't the sides of the notch end up touching sides of the prongs? I think that may rub away the millgrain as well. But I am accepting that this millgrain probably won't last that long. I think at some point, I will ask Victor to refurbish it. He can, right?

I like the one here. But what do you think about a similar band, but without the dome shape? I would like a flat surface, to match the flatness of the shank. Have you guys ever seen one that is like this but with a flat surface?

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...-1-8mm-platinum-engraved-wedding-band.167540/

Also, do you think a plain band will be a little weird with a blingy shank on an ering? I always seen the opposite, plain ering shank with eternity.

Anyway, thanks guys. Sometimes I'm not sure I want all the PS world's opinion on stuff. Just people I know I trust.
 
Good morning girls!

I only have a short time to reply as I have my surgeon follow up appointment this morning (windchill of -8 ugh!) so forgive me if I leave something out. I am nervous and my face is not helping! Too flaky to apply makeup either. Sigh. OK focusing on the important follow up for the leg and not my face. Redirecting depressing thoughts!

Junebug and Marcy, same reason I switched to apple computers! I think many people have switched for the same reason too. Let's hope they stay less buggy!

Marcy, I am sorry you haven't been sleeping well and I hope you wake up this morning after a great night's sleep and that your cough is all gone! I am sorry it has lingered for so long and I am sending more healthy vibes your way. Glad Marty made it safely to his destination and when is he returning home? Were you able to get the printers to work?

Junebug, I hope you are able to get a professional to help at least part time with your mom as that would be such a help to you and your siblings. If you can get someone you trust who is good that would make such a difference!

Thanks for that link. I will check it out!


Callie, I hope the weather is not too brutal by you...please be careful if you are going downtown this week. It is so cold and icy here. How is your niece feeling? It's been 4 days on Accutane I think. Has she noticed any mood changes or any skin improvement yet?

Ovi, I hope your visit with your mom is going well! Sorry about the mice. That is not fun and I cannot believe the cats have not deterred them. I thought just the smell of cats would deter mice but I guess I was wrong...hope the mice problem is taken care of soon and that the cats manage to drive them out as that would be the best scenario.

Kristie, how is your first full week of the new year going? I trust you are enjoying your beautiful weather and looking forward to the gem show. I am excited for you lol. I am living vicariously through you guys because I have not been out bling shopping/viewing in a very long time now.


LLJsmom, thanks for the encouragement. I think sending your ring back to Victor is good for your peace of mind and also having a band made up is perfect timing since you are sending your ring back anyway. I love a plain wb with a blingy ER shank. I think it will look elegant and beautiful and let the ER shine and be the star. I like it being flat so it matches your ER shank. I would ask Victor's advice about the notch though as I have no clue. And I am sure Victor will be able to refurbish it should the milgrain be worn down however I am also sure you don't want to send the ring back too often lol.

Good luck with the ring project and we are looking forward to seeing your new rings together!
 
Hi Girls, My gosh. if you can't get to this thread for a day you have a lot to catch up on. I'll post in a few hours. I just wanted to wish Missy Good Luck at her doctors appointment today. Be careful getting there Missy. I hate you being on that damn subway!
 
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