On the topic of name changing...

[AmberWaves]

Albi, it''s like that Seinfeld episode, where Jerry makes a date with a "Wise chinese woman" he spoke to on the phone named Donna Chang- but when he met her, she was like, "Oh, I changed my name from Changstein". He was so disappointed!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/21/2006 2:00:08 PM
Author: Logan Sapphire


I''m Asian too, but my maiden name is Italian, so my face never ''matched'' my name. Sometimes people would make a big deal out of it, which I found extremely rude.

Yeah, it''s surprising the lack of tact in some people eh? At least as woman, people assume that we''ve married into our non-ethic names. I once knew a Korean guy named Jim Jones. He couldn''t buy a pencil with his credit card without being asked for ID.

My boyfriend''s last name is Tucker. Standard last name, except for all the rude things it could be morphed into. Someone has already joked with me that if I have kids, I''ll be a "mother tucker." har har har..............

I''ve got 5 months to decide if I want to trade my nice Korean last name for this!

 

[BrightSpot]

Date: 4/21/2006 2:08:55 PM
Author: albicocca

Date: 4/21/2006 2:00:58 PM
Author: BrightSpot

Date: 4/21/2006 12:40:32 PM
(Also, my last name begins with A & his begins with W so it feels like a demotion...

)

Haha, I''m going from all the way from A to Z and I totally feel your pain!!! I was always first in line in elementary school and it''s just so weird to think my kids will be last!

LOL--I''m glad I''m not the only one who thinks about things like this.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I love my maiden name (Partier) so much, that it is now my middle name! I am changing my last name to DH''s last name, and dropping my middle completely.

 

[sarita]

I want to take my FI''s name because I think the family unit should be "one" and convey that solidarity in name too (especially if there are kids) and I wouldn''t want to be the odd-one-out with a different name. I like both of our last names, but my own a little more. I don''t have a good relationship with my father at all, but I do like my name and I think of my mom with it too because even though she''s divorced, it''s the name I always knew her as (she kept it so we would have the same name). I don''t care for my middle name and since both my last name and middle name start with an "A" I think I will just use my current last name as my middle name and get rid of the current one altogether. Either way my signature would still be Sarah A. ______ just that the last name is different.

 

[firebirdgold]

I always thought that I''d want to keep my last name, but now I''m really looking forward to one day being Mrs. S. It gives me a thrill just to think my future name. I''ve even practiced my signature! yes, a bit immature, let alone premature!
What makes it alot easier for me to contemplate the change is that my initals will stay the same! (I''m Ms. S. now)

As for the middle name thing, my middle name is the name of my patron saint to whom my mother attributes my very existence. It''s just not worth the fuss to try to change my middle name. She''d never ever forgive me!

 

[selflove]

Date: 4/21/2006 2:04:17 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 4/21/2006 1:26:45 PM
Author: TBeck2000
I voted for ''Keep my last name'', but I think that most guys traditionally keep their last names.

-Tim

I actually knew a couple when I lived in Wa where the husband took his wife''s last name.. it was really different.. I was like, HUH? Well.. to each thier own.. yanno?

I love that! Because the origin of the woman taking the husband''s name was to identify that she was now his property, and a guy who can change his name is stellar in my book!

I''ve asked FI if he would take my name and hyphenate it with his but he''s not too keen on adding a 10-digit polish last name. His name is easy to pronounce in his language but it doesn''t translate at all in english so people always stumble over it. Hyphenating it would not be ideal.

I''m really torn up about this and I''m just hoping that after the wedding I have some epiphany and decide to take his name out of love and devotion. Ya right.

 

[selflove]

MINE--I really appreciate that input, BTW. Good thing to put in the back of my brain...

 

[Rhapsody]

Date: 4/21/2006 7:42:25 PM
Author: selflove

Date: 4/21/2006 2:04:17 PM

Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 4/21/2006 1:26:45 PM

Author: TBeck2000

I voted for ''Keep my last name'', but I think that most guys traditionally keep their last names.


-Tim

I actually knew a couple when I lived in Wa where the husband took his wife''s last name.. it was really different.. I was like, HUH? Well.. to each thier own.. yanno?

I love that! Because the origin of the woman taking the husband''s name was to identify that she was now his property, and a guy who can change his name is stellar in my book!


I''ve asked FI if he would take my name and hyphenate it with his but he''s not too keen on adding a 10-digit polish last name. His name is easy to pronounce in his language but it doesn''t translate at all in english so people always stumble over it. Hyphenating it would not be ideal.


I''m really torn up about this and I''m just hoping that after the wedding I have some epiphany and decide to take his name out of love and devotion. Ya right.

Everyone already knows I own my boyfriend might as well make it official

My boyfriend and I have actually discussed both of us changing our names to something else, either a combination of our current last names or just something completely new. I really like the idea because although I have no qualms about leaving my family name behind (i dont get along with my family and have no attachment to the name) I''m not overly excited to have his family''s name (they don''t like me too much

). I think it would be nice to have a new name that symbolizes that both of our situations have changed and we are now a family together.

If we don''t do that, I''ll probably take his name since I want us to have the same name, whatever it is!

 

[icekid]

I am pretty sure that I will use his last name. He really wants me to change, since he is the last in his family w/ his name. So I told him that as long as we get married before I finish my MD, then I will use his name. I am thinking of moving my last name to my middle name though- not attached to my middle name and my last name is very MY FAMILY... so I am considering that option. Hyphenating would just be way too big of a mouthful, unfortunately.

 

[Tybee]

Curlygirl echos my feelings exactly, except fot the no boys in the family part, we have plenty of those, I''m the only girl!
My name really identifies me. I''m getting married to someone, but I don''t plan on changing myself,
Also, I''m incredibly lazy!

 

[teebee]

Date: 4/21/2006 7:42:25 PM
Author: selflove

Date: 4/21/2006 2:04:17 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 4/21/2006 1:26:45 PM
Author: TBeck2000
I voted for ''Keep my last name'', but I think that most guys traditionally keep their last names.

-Tim

I actually knew a couple when I lived in Wa where the husband took his wife''s last name.. it was really different.. I was like, HUH? Well.. to each thier own.. yanno?

I love that! Because the origin of the woman taking the husband''s name was to identify that she was now his property, and a guy who can change his name is stellar in my book!

I''ve asked FI if he would take my name and hyphenate it with his but he''s not too keen on adding a 10-digit polish last name. His name is easy to pronounce in his language but it doesn''t translate at all in english so people always stumble over it. Hyphenating it would not be ideal.

I''m really torn up about this and I''m just hoping that after the wedding I have some epiphany and decide to take his name out of love and devotion. Ya right.

I give my FI a hard time about him changing his last name because my last name is very similar to his first name of Bryan...

One reason that I don''t want to use, but still kinda want to keep my last name as my middle name, is that no one EVER spells it right - it''s just 5 letters, very simple, but I am continuously amazed at people''s ability to screw it up!!

But, I''m going from B to W... I don''t guess I have to stand in my alphabetical lines anymore though...

AND, this is stupid I know, but what about my email address & screen names??? Teebee is my first and last initials... Would I be TeeWee? TeeBeeWee? And in my middle name is Lea (pronounced Lee or Leigh) so I could be TeeLeaBeeWee???

 

[CountryGirlGa]

I knew what I was going to do until I read this thread. Now I''m confused!!!!

 

[peonygirl]

I''m also in the four-name club! I actually have four names now, but I''m going to drop one of my middle names and add my DF''s last name at the end. I need to talk to my advisor soon about potentially using my new last name on my first publication, which is under revision now. It will be published a few months before we get married, but I feel like it''s so important to have all of your pubs under the same name, so I''m torn. I have a feeling she''ll freak (I don''t know *anyone* in academia who changed their last name), but I guess I won''t know ''til I ask.

 

[tanyak]

I'm keeping my name. I'm not close at all to my dad's side of the family (except my grandma), but I really like my name. Hyphenating is out of the question (my last name has eight letters, his has 10), and I've found that when people just keep their names and add hislastname on, most people still just say herfirstname hislastname. Everything in the middle be darned!

Our kids will have FI's last name. At this point, I'm not really concerned about sharing names - I know plenty of family unit where people have different names. And as far as airlines or doctor's offices and whatnot being confused - FI and I have been together just about eight years, and I've made several calls on his behalf. The world doesn't fall apart in confusion if couples have different last names. I admit, I'll probably have to always add "No, he's my husband" or "Yes, I'm his mother," but's its not a huge deal.

 

[KristyDarling]

I kept my name. He kept his, too.

However, a couple who are good friends of ours created a new last name for their family: they combined both of their last names together into one after the birth of their first child! I thought that was just way cool. They took the first 6 letters of his last name and then tacked on the first 3 letters of her last name to the end of it.

I like my last name. I "earned" it growing up because it''s VERY unusual, even comical, and you wouldn''t believe the grief I got for it on the playground growing up all the way on up through high school AND college. I didn''t go through all that to take my hubby''s name just because we''re married!

Also, changing something as central to my identity as my last name (and therefore family heritage) would''ve felt strange and false to me. Our kids, however, have their Dad''s last name. DH didn''t have an opinion as to whether I took his name or not, but he was adamant that our kids have his.

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 4/21/2006 2:08:55 PM
Author: albicocca

Date: 4/21/2006 2:00:08 PM

Author: Logan Sapphire

Date: 4/21/2006 1:39:46 PM

Author: TravelingGal

I''ve been thinking about this too. I am asian marrying a white guy. I''m afraid I am going to be asked for ID for the rest of my life if I take on his last name!

But I guess in this day and age, it''s pretty common to see asian women with non asian last names.

I''m Asian too, but my maiden name is Italian, so my face never ''matched'' my name. Sometimes people would make a big deal out of it, which I found extremely rude.

Hehe I''m the opposite! I''m white with a very generic anglo name, marrying a Chinese guy with a very generic Chinese name. I''m positive people are going to do doubletakes when they see I''m not Asian and I''m sure I''ll get some rude questions from time to time. But whatever!

Date: 4/21/2006 2:00:58 PM

Author: BrightSpot

Date: 4/21/2006 12:40:32 PM

(Also, my last name begins with A & his begins with W so it feels like a demotion...

)

Haha, I''m going from all the way from A to Z and I totally feel your pain!!! I was always first in line in elementary school and it''s just so weird to think my kids will be last!

Albi -- your post reminded me of the time I met a coworker for the first time, __________ Kawasaki, and I kept searching her face for signs of partial Asian heritage. She was a flaming redhead with porcelain-pink skin and blue eyes, and I just couldn''t see it in her face! I found out later that she had married a Japanese-American.....I was like, duh, Kristy!