innerkitten
Ideal_Rock
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People''s Reaction to My Small Diamond Enagement Ring
- Thread starter junebridetobe
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junebridetobe
Rough_Rock
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THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPRORT AND ADVICE!!!
I feel so much better knowing that I'm not over-reacting about these comments. When I first heared these comments, I felt so be-littled as if I wasn't living up to their standards. But to tell you the truth, it doesn't matter how they feel, it's how WE feel (finace and I). As you can tell from the time I posted, I couldn't sleep and it was almost 5 A.M. in the morning and I was so bugged about how people reacted towards my ring. I do admit there was a part of me at one point and time that wished I had a 2 carat diamond ring just so that I can shove it in their faces and let them eat their words. Then I realized after thinking about it, it's not the size of the diamond rather the thought, love, symbol, and feeling behind it. Also, if I were to get a bigger diamond just to make them feel good, I'd be just as bad as them.
Hehe, I know now where to seat this people..right next to the loud speaker, near the DJ. They'll be deaf by the end of the wedding. That ought to teach em a lesson!
Just kidding!
Thanks again to everyone for you advice and support! You guys are wonderful!
I feel so much better knowing that I'm not over-reacting about these comments. When I first heared these comments, I felt so be-littled as if I wasn't living up to their standards. But to tell you the truth, it doesn't matter how they feel, it's how WE feel (finace and I). As you can tell from the time I posted, I couldn't sleep and it was almost 5 A.M. in the morning and I was so bugged about how people reacted towards my ring. I do admit there was a part of me at one point and time that wished I had a 2 carat diamond ring just so that I can shove it in their faces and let them eat their words. Then I realized after thinking about it, it's not the size of the diamond rather the thought, love, symbol, and feeling behind it. Also, if I were to get a bigger diamond just to make them feel good, I'd be just as bad as them.
Hehe, I know now where to seat this people..right next to the loud speaker, near the DJ. They'll be deaf by the end of the wedding. That ought to teach em a lesson!
Thanks again to everyone for you advice and support! You guys are wonderful!
EdSkinner
Shiny_Rock
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There is no shortage of jackasses in this world. I would say that the ladies who said anything rude to you should take their opinions and shove them up their bums if they can fit it up there with their heads. Really the only people who have anything nasty to say about your ring is the woman who doesn't have it and the jeweler who didn't sell it. Congradulations on your engagement, may you and your fiance have a long and healthy life together
DD
Rough_Rock
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- Feb 10, 2004
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Throughout your wedding planning, you'll find folks who try to evaluate you on every material aspect of your plans--the size of the ring, the cost of your dress, the quality of the food and beverage you serve, etc. Do remember to come back and read this post when you need a reminder that all that matters is what you and your fiance think and value!
I had a relationship with a woman I thought was my friend. When I got engaged, she asked why I did not get a bigger stone of lower quality. When I bought my bridal gown, she was horrified that I was thrilled with a polyester gown rather than paying more for a silk one. Sadly, I let these toxic comments plant the smallest seeds of doubt about my choices as you initially did.
These thoughtless comments were the beginning of my understanding of her true character. By the time my ceremony came, she actually used my wedding for a "date" with a co-worker with whom she was having an affair. Two years later, she's out of my life, and I look back on it all as a lesson to never, ever, ever let anyone dissuade you from your true values about money, relationships and happiness. Her marriage has ended, but mine gets stronger every day. And I find joy every day in looking at my "perfect" e-ring and the photos of my polyester dream gown!
Congrats on your happiness, and like everyone else, I wanna see a photo of that gorgeous ring!
DD
I had a relationship with a woman I thought was my friend. When I got engaged, she asked why I did not get a bigger stone of lower quality. When I bought my bridal gown, she was horrified that I was thrilled with a polyester gown rather than paying more for a silk one. Sadly, I let these toxic comments plant the smallest seeds of doubt about my choices as you initially did.
These thoughtless comments were the beginning of my understanding of her true character. By the time my ceremony came, she actually used my wedding for a "date" with a co-worker with whom she was having an affair. Two years later, she's out of my life, and I look back on it all as a lesson to never, ever, ever let anyone dissuade you from your true values about money, relationships and happiness. Her marriage has ended, but mine gets stronger every day. And I find joy every day in looking at my "perfect" e-ring and the photos of my polyester dream gown!
Congrats on your happiness, and like everyone else, I wanna see a photo of that gorgeous ring!
DD
First of all... CONGRATS! I wish you a wonderful marriage.
I also know how you feel DD. Im only in the 'probably going to happen at some point soon' phase and am already getting the competition questions from a few girls I know who are already engaged or married. I havent talked with anyone about the..er¡Kpossibly pending engagement (dont want to jinx it) and once while I was gently fending off prying questions, one girl went so far as to say: I know you¡¦re getting engaged! What kind of ring do you want?!
I was floored...the ring is a nice perk (there is probably no other reason Id ever get such a nice piece of jewelry, at least for the foreseeable future), but not the most exciting (and terrifying/thrilling) part of deciding to commit yourself to one person FOREVER. This girl has an e-ring at least 3X the size that I'd even consider. (BTW ¡V it looks like she concentrated only on the carat size the 4 times she 'upgraded' the stone in the first 2 years of engagement)
It sounds like you have a wonderful and caring fiance who knows you, your style and your priorities. Those people are jealous of your great relationship and are trying to take some of your joy away...dont let them.
I also know how you feel DD. Im only in the 'probably going to happen at some point soon' phase and am already getting the competition questions from a few girls I know who are already engaged or married. I havent talked with anyone about the..er¡Kpossibly pending engagement (dont want to jinx it) and once while I was gently fending off prying questions, one girl went so far as to say: I know you¡¦re getting engaged! What kind of ring do you want?!
I was floored...the ring is a nice perk (there is probably no other reason Id ever get such a nice piece of jewelry, at least for the foreseeable future), but not the most exciting (and terrifying/thrilling) part of deciding to commit yourself to one person FOREVER. This girl has an e-ring at least 3X the size that I'd even consider. (BTW ¡V it looks like she concentrated only on the carat size the 4 times she 'upgraded' the stone in the first 2 years of engagement)
It sounds like you have a wonderful and caring fiance who knows you, your style and your priorities. Those people are jealous of your great relationship and are trying to take some of your joy away...dont let them.
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Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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alexah
Brilliant_Rock
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dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
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JuneBride2Be- I sure hope everything has calmed down for you.
I have a terrible confession to make....
The subject of engagement rings came up last weekend and my sister-in-law was showing off her antique ring, and I said "Oh that's cute!"
Her diamond is small and it slipped out of my mouth before I could catch myself.
So on behalf of all the insensitive people, let me give you a blanket apology. (I am not being facetious, I am trying to stress that I DIDN"T MEAN IT TO BE RUDE, if that helps at all)
The whole size thing is RELATIVE.
What's big or small is different to each person (if they even care about it, but if you are reading this on procescope, then well, you probably think about it)
I guarantee my diamond ring will look real plain to Mara, real yellow to nicrez, too small to F&I, but it's only relative to their tastes and nothing else. I'm OK with that.
My ring is gonna look big to my sister-in-law.... but she is a total sweetheart with a whole differnet set of attitudes & priorities from me and I doubt if she will be jealous.
So, like everyone else has said, and I know you know, how YOU FEEL is what matters!
We all have to learn that hard lesson, don't we?
I have a terrible confession to make....
The subject of engagement rings came up last weekend and my sister-in-law was showing off her antique ring, and I said "Oh that's cute!"
Her diamond is small and it slipped out of my mouth before I could catch myself.
So on behalf of all the insensitive people, let me give you a blanket apology. (I am not being facetious, I am trying to stress that I DIDN"T MEAN IT TO BE RUDE, if that helps at all)
The whole size thing is RELATIVE.
What's big or small is different to each person (if they even care about it, but if you are reading this on procescope, then well, you probably think about it)
I guarantee my diamond ring will look real plain to Mara, real yellow to nicrez, too small to F&I, but it's only relative to their tastes and nothing else. I'm OK with that.
My ring is gonna look big to my sister-in-law.... but she is a total sweetheart with a whole differnet set of attitudes & priorities from me and I doubt if she will be jealous.
So, like everyone else has said, and I know you know, how YOU FEEL is what matters!
We all have to learn that hard lesson, don't we?
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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Poking head in...
Did someone say color snob? hee hee...
JuneBride2B, I hope you are doing well...
Dbgaap, aren't you supposed to be getting your ring this summer? I promise in fairness that when you post your pics, I will NOT say it's too yellow...I'll bite my tongue, me with my "cute" ring, according to my "fancy" friends with ROCKS...
Hey, Cute is better than..."uhhh...nice...
" At least it's not a mickey mouse shaped stone like one lady I heard of...!
Did someone say color snob? hee hee...
JuneBride2B, I hope you are doing well...
Dbgaap, aren't you supposed to be getting your ring this summer? I promise in fairness that when you post your pics, I will NOT say it's too yellow...I'll bite my tongue, me with my "cute" ring, according to my "fancy" friends with ROCKS...
Hey, Cute is better than..."uhhh...nice...
dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
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Another way to put it -
My somewhat rude comment to my sister-in-law came out of my own self-absorption about my own impending ring.
BUT, that does NOT mean I was not happy for her.
It was clumsy, that's all.
Be confident with your ring and yourself.
The best defense is a good offense.
I plan to do the same thing. At work, I shall be wearing a one carat ring surrounded by women who wear twice that.
In other circles, I'm surrounded by people with different priorites and it won't even be noticed.
My somewhat rude comment to my sister-in-law came out of my own self-absorption about my own impending ring.
BUT, that does NOT mean I was not happy for her.
It was clumsy, that's all.
Be confident with your ring and yourself.
The best defense is a good offense.
I plan to do the same thing. At work, I shall be wearing a one carat ring surrounded by women who wear twice that.
In other circles, I'm surrounded by people with different priorites and it won't even be noticed.
Mara
Super_Ideal_Rock
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dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
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Hey nic... I say summer so I can be super happy if I get it sooner.
We are going to the jeweler tomorrow for sizing and setting instructions. I am reading your threads about the wedding band and want to make sure I leave room for a blingy band (though I have not decided yet)
woops.
penaltie for thread hijack!
Yeah, I was kidding about the color snob, size etc stuff.
I know everyone has to make themselves happy and at some point, you just go with what you've got.
Happy Friday!!!!!!
We are going to the jeweler tomorrow for sizing and setting instructions. I am reading your threads about the wedding band and want to make sure I leave room for a blingy band (though I have not decided yet)
woops.
penaltie for thread hijack!
Yeah, I was kidding about the color snob, size etc stuff.
I know everyone has to make themselves happy and at some point, you just go with what you've got.
Happy Friday!!!!!!
dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
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dbgaap, your diamond is *too* small.
..and I don't even know how big/small it is.
Right now I am wearing a .32 g/si diamond that my friend called cute. She caught herself. We had a chuckle - but it just came out of her mouth. I brought it over to see what size/shape she wants for her resetting of her ring to incorporate sides.
The 1/3 carat was an ebay purchase w/ a great cut. It's much smaller when I have my corrective lenses in.
I keep saying this about size. When you get to be my age & are wearing corrective lenses, *everything* looks small.
..and I don't even know how big/small it is.
Right now I am wearing a .32 g/si diamond that my friend called cute. She caught herself. We had a chuckle - but it just came out of her mouth. I brought it over to see what size/shape she wants for her resetting of her ring to incorporate sides.
The 1/3 carat was an ebay purchase w/ a great cut. It's much smaller when I have my corrective lenses in.
I keep saying this about size. When you get to be my age & are wearing corrective lenses, *everything* looks small.
Nicrez
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Mara
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wallace
Shiny_Rock
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Many years ago, when I was single, I had a friend who was determined to have a three carat engagement ring. She was dying to have a bigger ring than anyone she knew. We were in college and very few guys in our age range could afford such a ring.
A very sweet guy, quite a few years older than she and not at all her type, came along and was dying to marry her.The stipulation was that he give her a three carat ring. He did and also a diamond watch and many other beautiful gifts.
He was already etablished in a family business and she had a big,beautiful wedding, paid for by him, a big beautiful house, two children, a full time maid, etc and she was miserable. She got all the material things that seemed important to her but she had married the ring and all the things that went with it and not someone she loved or respected. Needless to say, the divorce was bitter.She got to keep the ring.
Do not compare your ring to anyone else's. If you have found someone special, your fiance will be the stand-out, not the ring. Good luck. And if anyone is crass enought to mention the size of your ring just tell them that the ring is a symbol of your love and that is the biggest most beautiful thing of all. You can buy a diamond but you cannot buy happiness.
A very sweet guy, quite a few years older than she and not at all her type, came along and was dying to marry her.The stipulation was that he give her a three carat ring. He did and also a diamond watch and many other beautiful gifts.
He was already etablished in a family business and she had a big,beautiful wedding, paid for by him, a big beautiful house, two children, a full time maid, etc and she was miserable. She got all the material things that seemed important to her but she had married the ring and all the things that went with it and not someone she loved or respected. Needless to say, the divorce was bitter.She got to keep the ring.
Do not compare your ring to anyone else's. If you have found someone special, your fiance will be the stand-out, not the ring. Good luck. And if anyone is crass enought to mention the size of your ring just tell them that the ring is a symbol of your love and that is the biggest most beautiful thing of all. You can buy a diamond but you cannot buy happiness.
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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AMEN SOLANGE! Well said. A ring is a ring and nothing campares to finding the right person!
By the way, a formerly close friend was always poor, and fell for the first guy that spent truckloads of money on her. They argue, she gets Manolos as a sorry gift...and she is so miserable, even WITH all his money.
Poor thing gets so jealous that my fiance and I miss each other through out the day and are so sweet together. Her favorite saying when he calls, "Great! It's the Waltons!" and my other favorite, "Don't worry it won't last much longer...wait until he gets a hot secretary..."
She's got a 3.25ct center princess and two 1.5 trillions, ala Harry Winston and she insists whatever happens she keeps the ring.
By the way, a formerly close friend was always poor, and fell for the first guy that spent truckloads of money on her. They argue, she gets Manolos as a sorry gift...and she is so miserable, even WITH all his money.
Poor thing gets so jealous that my fiance and I miss each other through out the day and are so sweet together. Her favorite saying when he calls, "Great! It's the Waltons!" and my other favorite, "Don't worry it won't last much longer...wait until he gets a hot secretary..."
She's got a 3.25ct center princess and two 1.5 trillions, ala Harry Winston and she insists whatever happens she keeps the ring.
Guys, you can marry someone with money & *still* be happy in the relationship. Money & happiness are not polar things from one another.
For each person who married only for money that is miserable, there exists an equally miserable person married to someone who can't support them. I had a relative who was accustomed to a certain life style. She married only for love. The ole "we only need to live off of our love" sentiment. Wow! talk about a really bad divorce.
My point ...Just something to consider. As, I have a friend that was accused of marrying for money. She felt really bad about it. She's the one having the last laugh - two healthy kids, nice stuff & a *very* happy marriage to a faithful & attentive husband 20+ years later.
But, the size of the ring really is no indicator one way or the other (in most cases) to the success of a marriage.
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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F&I very true...
I was accused of the same thing. My fiance makes good money, and has the potential to make even more. This is an argument why he seemed so attractive to me "so quickly", as we are so different too...
Ironically, I dated older men with MUCH more money, and frankly I never made much of that. Having a man who loves his job AND makes good money is a plus. but THE most important thing is the PERSON, not the wallet.
Perhaps I did overshoot in my point, but it was only to prove that a ring size will determine nothing. You can indeed be miserable WITH money and WITHOUT it...
Thanks for being the counter balance!
I was accused of the same thing. My fiance makes good money, and has the potential to make even more. This is an argument why he seemed so attractive to me "so quickly", as we are so different too...
Ironically, I dated older men with MUCH more money, and frankly I never made much of that. Having a man who loves his job AND makes good money is a plus. but THE most important thing is the PERSON, not the wallet.
Perhaps I did overshoot in my point, but it was only to prove that a ring size will determine nothing. You can indeed be miserable WITH money and WITHOUT it...
Thanks for being the counter balance!
I never meant to imply that you can't be happy if you marry someone with money. It is just as inappropriate to accuse someone of marrying for money as it is to sneer at a small ring. Or that if you have certain expectations as to life style and you marry someone who does not have the potential to achieve that, you will not be miserable.
I've been married many years. When we first got married we had very little. But I married for love and felt my husband was a brilliant business man and had the potential to do well.
We worked hard, lived frugally for a long time and now we are well off. It is better to have money than not,particularly later in life. But it is also important to have a person you love and respect and who will share the happiness and also the sorrows that life brings.
I've been married many years. When we first got married we had very little. But I married for love and felt my husband was a brilliant business man and had the potential to do well.
We worked hard, lived frugally for a long time and now we are well off. It is better to have money than not,particularly later in life. But it is also important to have a person you love and respect and who will share the happiness and also the sorrows that life brings.
Mara
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Yes that whole 'live on love' thing would never have worked for me.
I'm TOO high-maintenance (shh don't tell Greg I admitted that!).
I feel blessed I was able to find a guy who I adore and can live quite happily with, and lucky for us we both do quite well on our own...so we do even better together! Money does not make the world go around, but it sure does make the travel easier!
I feel blessed I was able to find a guy who I adore and can live quite happily with, and lucky for us we both do quite well on our own...so we do even better together! Money does not make the world go around, but it sure does make the travel easier!
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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LOL! Mara I agree with that. Travel is our little passion, even now that I am pulling the whole "we make too much to not own a house and have more equity" bit on him. I (for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE) am pulling the budget strings. And it's nice to have two incomes that help support all our dreams and little pricey necessities...
*cough*diamonds*cough*
As for size, does it really matter? If that's the case, I have a nice rock for the size lovers at a "budget price"...
6+ct Pear on E-Bay
As for size, does it really matter? If that's the case, I have a nice rock for the size lovers at a "budget price"...
6+ct Pear on E-Bay
MichelleCarmen
Super_Ideal_Rock
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I didn't think you did.
All that said, Mara, hubby calls me Sally. He loves the line in the "When Harry Met Sally" movie. "You are the worst kind of women...high maintenance & you don't know it" I'm glad we have both come to some resolve in this issue.
Oh, and remember - it's almost time for you to proclaim - "What's mine is mine & What's his is mine!"
A couple of thoughts:
1. Anyone who criticizes your ring to your face is a jerk. Or, if they say they word "cute", they're simply not using their brain at the moment, but can be forgiven with many sorry's and a box of chocolates.
2. Having been married to someone with money, I can assure you that money does not buy happiness. Nor does it even buy big diamonds. My last e-ring was a 1.25 princess in a custom setting with 3 little diamonds on either side by Lester Lampert up on Chicago's Miracle Mile. Lovely? Yes, it was nice. But my fiance was not willing to spring for a matching wedding band because Mommy told him not to spend a dime over $5K (including the setting, center stone and wedding band!). And this was a person who I had to have a 10 page prenup with because of the millions involved. Now, my ex-husband has a lot of positive qualities, for sure, but I remember being a tad irritated.
(to be continued)
1. Anyone who criticizes your ring to your face is a jerk. Or, if they say they word "cute", they're simply not using their brain at the moment, but can be forgiven with many sorry's and a box of chocolates.
2. Having been married to someone with money, I can assure you that money does not buy happiness. Nor does it even buy big diamonds. My last e-ring was a 1.25 princess in a custom setting with 3 little diamonds on either side by Lester Lampert up on Chicago's Miracle Mile. Lovely? Yes, it was nice. But my fiance was not willing to spring for a matching wedding band because Mommy told him not to spend a dime over $5K (including the setting, center stone and wedding band!). And this was a person who I had to have a 10 page prenup with because of the millions involved. Now, my ex-husband has a lot of positive qualities, for sure, but I remember being a tad irritated.
(to be continued)
3. I am now engaged to be married again, this time to a truly wonderful man who suits me in many wonderful ways. I can't wait to be his wife. He purchased a beautiful 1.80 ct H VS1 ideal cut stone that is lovely. I chose a setting I'm not totally thrilled with, so we may have to go back to the drawing board with the jeweler, but the end result is that it's almost 3 carats of rock on my finger. (And this time, Mommy was not dictating the price, thank heavens!
)
Here's my question - for those ladies that have the bigger rings/stones - do you ever get self-conscious when people comment on the ring? I've received quite a few comments about the size of the diamond, and the setting. And it makes me feel shy. I also fear that other women might feel bad about their own rings, if they are not as big. I know not everyone likes a big ring, so they're fine, but anyone else have this experience? I am definitely not the kind of girl who flashes her hand at everyone from her friends to the trash man, so I kinda wonder.
In the end, what I tell people is: "If you think the ring is great, you should see the man who gave it to me!!"
Ali
PS. I will post pictures of the ring if someone can point me to an FAQ of photographing diamonds with a digital camera - the flash keeps bouncing, and it's a crappy photo. Any ideas?
Here's my question - for those ladies that have the bigger rings/stones - do you ever get self-conscious when people comment on the ring? I've received quite a few comments about the size of the diamond, and the setting. And it makes me feel shy. I also fear that other women might feel bad about their own rings, if they are not as big. I know not everyone likes a big ring, so they're fine, but anyone else have this experience? I am definitely not the kind of girl who flashes her hand at everyone from her friends to the trash man, so I kinda wonder.
In the end, what I tell people is: "If you think the ring is great, you should see the man who gave it to me!!"
Ali
PS. I will post pictures of the ring if someone can point me to an FAQ of photographing diamonds with a digital camera - the flash keeps bouncing, and it's a crappy photo. Any ideas?
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