shape
carat
color
clarity

Poll: To Change Or Not To Change? That Is The Question...

Did you change your surname when you got married, or do you plan to do so?

  • He''s changing his surname to mine/He changed his surname to mine.

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • I changed my surname to his/I plan to change my surname to his.

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • I hyphenated my surname and his/I plan to hyphenate my surname and his.

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • This question is invalid since I''m never getting married.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I use my surname professionally, and his surname socially.

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • I''m a guy, and I want my wife to change her surname to mine when I get married.

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • I''m a guy, and whatever she chooses to do about her surname is fine with me.

    Votes: 1 100.0%

  • Total voters
    1
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
There aren't enough people in my country.
2.gif
Seriously, we have issues here over the lack of a future tax base. But I hear you.
1.gif


Not having a child is not an option for me. Doesn't matter if he/she's born of me or adopted - lots of kids out there who need loving parents. Wanting to be a mother is as fundamental to me as wanting food or drink.
1.gif
 
My contribution to this thread is this: I couldn't care less what someone that I don't know might mistake me for, be it a "meek housewife" or an "aggressive corporate b*tch" or anything else.




Hell, I don't *know* them......if they make a mistaken presumption about me, what do I care? My friends and family know what I am, and they don't make such mistakes.




Those who fall outside that circle and are indiscretionate enough to make a presumptive mistake to my face will be re-educated.....nicely.
 
DOH ... I thought you were a man.
14.gif
Don't be offended though I've already been mistaken for a pug.
9.gif
 
----------------
On 11/23/2003 4:24:20 AM canadiangrrl wrote:

There aren't enough people in my country.
2.gif
Seriously, we have issues here over the lack of a future tax base. But I hear you.
1.gif



Not having a child is not an option for me. Doesn't matter if he/she's born of me or adopted - lots of kids out there who need loving parents. Wanting to be a mother is as fundamental to me as wanting food or drink.
1.gif
----------------


Well, I wouldn't mind more people like YOU in the world.

If you long to take care of kids, then you should. Adoption is a particularly GREAT way to do it, given all the parentless children in the world. But not everyone should have children. Some people don't really want to but think they should or cave to external pressure. Some people would make lousy parents.

And seriously, our species is overrunning the planet. Maybe not in Canada, but most other places. We need more tigers and grasses and whales and orchids and frogs and redwoods and bats and cod and lichens and lobsters and sturgeons and chestnuts. We don't need more people.
 
Actually we need both, the bear and the wolf and the wambli (winged ones like eagles and hawks) and the sturgeon; but we also need the people comitted enough to protect them. By protect them, I don't mean put them on a pedestal, I mean do some earnest heart searching thought about how to maintain them in their natural habitat and quit insisting that they think like humans and stay out of inhabited areas.




We should stop insisting that all areas of a state should be open to development (as is happening in NJ right now), and realize that wild things need wild places or they will move into inhabited areas. I think one of the greatest diservices that has been done to wild things has been done by Walt Disney and his films by the anthropomorphic portrayal of his animal 'heros'. Although we are their family and protectors, they are not human and do not deserve to be treated as such.




win
 
Win, when I was in high school, I joined a group that was seeking to prevent the deer hunt that occurs every fall in Northern Ontario. The thought of such a beautiful and gentle creature being brutally shot was so hard to bear. Everyone remembers "Bambi", right? I was a city girl who'd never even seen a real live deer....long story, but at the time, this movement gained momentum...resulting in the deer season being severely curtailed, and an "unnatural" abundance of deer. So that year, instead of being shot, the deer starved to death. Man remains their only predator...

It saddens me that we have interfered with our ecosystem to such a large extent.
sad.gif
 
----------------
On 11/23/2003 10:47:18 PM canadiangrrl wrote:

I was a city girl who'd never even seen a real live deer....long story, but at the time, this movement gained momentum...resulting in the deer season being severely curtailed, and an 'unnatural' abundance of deer. So that year, instead of being shot, the deer starved to death. Man remains their only predator...

It saddens me that we have interfered with our ecosystem to such a large extent.
sad.gif


----------------


Oh my, this reasonates home. I don't own a gun. Don't believe in them. I could never take the life of a deer on purpose. I was against hunting. *WAS* I now let hunters hunt our property - the responsible ones - and one's who eat the meat & don't just sit in the woods & drink bourbon. A deer shot dead vs. a deer that looks like a "dog" because of malnutrtion opened my eyes.
 

My friends who are hunters either eat the meat themselves, or else donate it to soup kitchens or other good causes. I agree, F&I, I've seen folks swear that a starving deer is a more humane 'natural' death than shooting the overabundance. I cannot get my mind around that concept. I would like to see how the person who feels that way would feel after a week or two of starvation. This same individual also stated that the deer eating her *IMPORTED* Japanese Yews, which btw, are poisonous to ruminants like the deer, is also a more 'natural' death than being killed by a predator.



*sigh*, sometimes I wonder if folks have lost the power of real thought.





win

 
------------
On 11/24/2003 8:59:23 PM winyan wrote:


I agree, F&I, I've seen folks swear that a starving deer is a more humane 'natural' death than shooting the overabundance. Sometimes I wonder if folks have lost the power of real thought.----------------


It's probably the deer that is a more problematic animal.
2.gif
Some are quite straight forward... as follows.

I can asure you that with bears and wolves, the same overpopulation issue was solved asap and via general consesus for 'SHOOOT THEM!'. I guess it is quite different to have the garden ravaged or to have to tote a gun if you want to get into your own backyard in late autumn or winter... however, the result of the campaing was a nice balance between deer and predators' population, at least for now. Oh, and by the way, the story is placed in the Romanian mountins (the North East). I hope things will remain under cool management from now on. I can only imagine that the nightmare discussed on this thread could happen around here too, as soon as people would start favoring either species. As long as hunting remains a morally acceptable, well coordinated passtime (mine too), I think all those beasts do have a chance to live as they should.
 
Talk about thread drift--from changing your name after marriage to deer hunting??




2.gif
9.gif
 
----------------
On 11/25/2003 3:08:34 PM LawGem wrote:


Talk about thread drift--from changing your name after marriage to deer hunting??


2.gif
9.gif

----------------


Well, I can throw a legal spin in the loop. A couple of years ago an ammendment to the Va. Constitution was up on the ballot and subsequently voted in. It is a Constitutional *right* to hunt in VA.

What I want to know is - where is *my* Constitutional Right to Shop?!
wink2.gif
9.gif
I need clothes. It's a national past time rich w/ history. Friends gather together. And, it helps the economy.

The injustice!
 
From changing your name to stay at home moms to deer hunting yes, but do you see the common thread? I see it as the struggle between societal and individual needs and wants.

Why did women ever take their husband's names? I think because, when a child is born, it is obvious who the mother is, but not so obvious who the father was. Marriage and a common name to identify who was responsible for it gave a child a better chance of survival. Yeah, yeah, there is woman as chattel and other stuff in there too, and we've overcome that. But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

We, as women who want it all, too often try to convince ourselves that we don't need fathers for our children. We also convince ourselves that someone with a high school diploma getting paid minimum wage and taking care of three infants at once can somehow do the child rearing as well as we ourselves can. If I had three infants at home, I'd be hiring help. And how does this relate to deer hunting? It relates because deer hunting is another situation where individuals who are not necessarily educated to the intricacies of a problem are making decisions based on personal choices that affect all of us and society as a whole.

We have been taught to put ourselves and our "needs" first, when often they are "wants". Considering the effect our personal choices have on society and being willing to compromise for the sake of the good of the community is not something we do well or easily.

Whoa. Knock me off my pulpit.
 
----------------
On 11/25/2003 4:53:58 PM Mikesgirl wrote:

We have been taught to put ourselves and our 'needs' first, when often they are 'wants'. Considering the effect our personal choices have on society and being willing to compromise for the sake of the good of the community is not something we do well or easily.

Whoa. Knock me off my pulpit. ----------------


Why? You are giving good food for fodder.

My pulpit. Compromise for the greater good should be easier & better done. And, can be a fine line as to what is to the "greater good".

And, the discussion of needs vs wants should be a serious consideration. Everyone needs shoes. But, some want $300.00 boots. That doesn't translate into needing $300.00 boots. I know I have been on my pulpit about this lately. It's striking a nerve.

That said, I don't just want my right to shop. I *need* my right to shop!
wink2.gif
9.gif
Actually, we did draw up buttons at election time. As stated, I do believe in the concept of hunting - how that translates into a *constitutional right* is beyond me. Someone told me it was an effort to protect gun rights.
 
LG - Did you *make* your wife change her name to Mrs. Lawgem? Because if you did, I'm not reading any more of your posts, ever ever ever EVER!
9.gif


Win - Humans, by and large, are stupid. Stupid and self-serving. Even more so when we're in groups. There was a case here in Toronto that has made news over the past two years - some local art students skinned a live cat, filmed it, and called it "art." And felt perfectly justified in doing so. On a personal note, I think part of the reason I used to get depressed to the point where I couldn't get out of bed was due in part to biochemistry & genetics, but also largely due to the fact that there are times when I felt so much revulsion towards humanity (or lack thereof) that submitting my resignation made perfect sense. Holy run-on sentence, Batman.
1.gif


Mikesgirl - Read some anthropological studies that indicate that newborn babies overwhelmingly resemble their fathers. Speculation abounds as to why this is, but one of the possible reasons given was so that fatherhood would not be in question. I've just searched for that book in my house and can't find it, but it was interesting.
1.gif
And I agree with F&I, you don't need to step down from your pulpit!
1.gif


F&I - You are making me very, very nervous. Is there some kind of anti-shopping law/movement/restriction in VA that I should know about? We are planning on buying in Alexandria next year. This may seriously impact that decision.
9.gif
 
----------------
On 11/25/2003 5:40:30 PM canadiangrrl wrote:

LG -
F&I - You are making me very, very nervous. Is there some kind of anti-shopping law/movement/restriction in VA that I should know about? We are planning on buying in Alexandria next year. This may seriously impact that decision.
9.gif


----------------


No, capitalism is alive & well. But, I'm not joking. In VA, you have a constitutional ammendment that gives you the right to hunt. I just find that odd. Isn't like granting a right to shop?

For some reason I thought you were moving to Maryland. Alexandria is such a nice city. Are you considering moving to old town?
 
Mr. Canadiangrrl currently resides in MD, just outside of DC. But he wants to live in Fairfax Co., so we've been looking at homes in that area. I would dearly love to live in either Old Town or Georgetown, but either option would necessitate A) writing a runaway bestseller or B) winning the lottery. And B has the far greater likelihood of occuring.
9.gif
 
Ahh - yeah, things have changed in those areas. Actually DC proper real estate has experienced a huge jump as well. Used to not be the case, especially with some of the areas of Old Town.

I hope you will not experience "traffic shock".
 


----------------
On 11/25/2003 5:40:30 PM canadiangrrl wrote:





LG - Did you *make* your wife change her name to Mrs. Lawgem? Because if you did, I'm not reading any more of your posts, ever ever ever EVER!
9.gif


----------------

Obviously you haven't met Mrs. LG. I can't make her do anything. (Talk her into things, yes; make, no; which is why I sometimes think law school was as valuable for marriage as for making a living.

2.gif
)



As far as the name, no, that was entirely her decision. It never really came up as a matter for debate even though she had a career and a professional reputation by the time we got married. She just went ahead and changed it and let everyone she worked with know about it. I would have been a bit disappointed had she not done so, but I would never have pressured her into doing it. I'm not sure we even discussed it, except for her telling me she was going to.
 


----------------
On 11/25/2003 5:50:09 PM fire&ice wrote:







No, capitalism is alive & well. But, I'm not joking. In VA, you have a constitutional ammendment that gives you the right to hunt. I just find that odd. Isn't like granting a right to shop?

----------------

In California, it's unconstitutional to hunt mountain lions and fish using gill nets. You don't have a right to hunt out here, but there is a constitutional right to go fishing.

9.gif

 
F&I - Mr. Canadiangrrl feels that the traffic in Toronto is just as bad, or even worse, than the traffic in the DC region - even around the infamous "mixing bowl."
6.gif


One of the reasons we're looking in Alexandria is because it's close to AAFB. Could get more of a house in the same price range if we moved further out in Fairfax Co., but there's that heinous commute...

LG - I was mostly kidding. Didn't figure you for the type to make bullying, intransigent demands. Being a lawyer, you're more likely to use sound, persuasive reasoning, and present a rational, factually compelling argument. You are therefore even more annoying than the bullying guys, and I am never ever ever reading your posts again!
9.gif
 
OK - back to the whole point of this thread....

YES I will be changing my name - BUT I may still use my name professionally as long as I live in New England. I am a well-known name right now in the performing arts world for teaching dance, so I think I may still use it for that, but I am not 100% sure yet. I'll keep ya posted NEXT Year
tongue.gif
 
----------------
On 11/25/2003 6:53:42 PM canadiangrrl wrote:

F&I - Mr. Canadiangrrl feels that the traffic in Toronto is just as bad, or even worse, than the traffic in the DC region - even around the infamous 'mixing bowl.'
6.gif


]----------------


Yeah, traffic is usually not constant. What makes it maddening to me is sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for it. Often, it involves rubber necking or lack of traffic etiquette. Northern VA. does not understand the concept of alternate merge. Also, if flexible, you learn some tricks. HOV in after 9:00 & HOV out before 3:30 PM.
9.gif


Good luck! While not inexpensive, housing is not as ridiculous as some area of the nation. And, interest rates are still pretty low. Some lenders will give the Military a discount.
 
I changed my name, but made my maiden name into my middle name. I am not a big fan of hyphenating, but that is just me. The middle name thing is good because if I forgot to change my name somewhere, then I still have documentation of both names.
 
This is a tricky one. I voted change surname but, I did what the previous poster did for my first marriage. Now I reverted back to my maiden name in the divorce but will again change my surname when I remarry because I want my children to have the same last name as their mother and father and I plan on giving my children middle names and I don't want a child who has to live with 4 names (ex. Danielle Marie Smith Jones, James Michael Smith Jones). What happens when either marries?
 
I'm going to *BUMP* this old poll,
I'd love to see all your answers/comments.

Scintillating...
 
I will be keeping my name because I like my name and it would seem stange to me to be called by another. As for future children, any girls will get my name and any boys his.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Top