Pregnancy FREAKS me out!

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:37:30 PM
Author: Maisie
I had an episiotomy with my first child. Believe me you don''t even know its happening! I recovered very well afterwards too.

I apologize in advance for being naive on this part. But what about after recovery of that? Is it back to normal or is it larger and "stretched" out a bit more? Is that TMI for a question? lol

 

[Maisie]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:56:35 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 6/22/2009 12:37:30 PM
Author: Maisie
I had an episiotomy with my first child. Believe me you don''t even know its happening! I recovered very well afterwards too.

I apologize in advance for being naive on this part. But what about after recovery of that? Is it back to normal or is it larger and ''stretched'' out a bit more? Is that TMI for a question? lol

Scars being scars they tend to be rather tight when they first heal. Gosh that didn''t sound right did it lol! But the overall area (if I understand what you are really asking) didn''t change much for me.

 

[cdt1101]

Having just given birth less than 3 weeks ago, I can honestly say my labor was the easy part!! I HATED being preggo, and I had a super easy pregnancy until 30 weeks. At 30 weeks I developed kidney stones, stent was put in and bedrest ensued the remaining 8 weeks of pregnancy! It SUCKED. I was on painkillers just to get thru it, and literally counted the hours until the alien inside of me popped out!

Now that our little guy is here, I feel guilty for sometimes really disliking him and the pain he was putting me thru at the time. There were honestly times at the end where I would just pray to God (i'm Agnostic btw!) to just get him OUT of me. I couldn't take it. He was VERY active on the inside and his kicks/punches hurt me! Maybe I'm a wimp and most of it was really related to the stent, but still as of right now I can honestly say I NEVER want to be pregnant again.

Now I'm just struggling w/ my body and what it looks like! Sucks...although I was one of the lucky ones I guess and didn't get stretch marks, but I have a LONG way to go to get back into shape. My ass and thighs are HUGE..hehehe...

My labor was pretty quick my most standards. I did tear (2nd degree), but honestly it hasn't bothered me at all! I did however do something to my tailbone in the process and that's killing me! But my vajay jay feels just fine

Now, I'm just TERRIFIED of what sex is going to feel like when we can resume activities

 

[sunnyd]

LOL, DG you need to spend some time reading the preggo thread!

I''m fascinated by pregnancy. I can say that never having been pregnant, but ask me again after #1.

Seriously though, I can''t wait to see what happens to me. Is that weird? The part I''m freaked out by is having a teenager because I know what I did as one, and I know what FI did.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 1:03:02 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 6/22/2009 12:56:35 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 6/22/2009 12:37:30 PM
Author: Maisie
I had an episiotomy with my first child. Believe me you don''t even know its happening! I recovered very well afterwards too.

I apologize in advance for being naive on this part. But what about after recovery of that? Is it back to normal or is it larger and ''stretched'' out a bit more? Is that TMI for a question? lol

Scars being scars they tend to be rather tight when they first heal. Gosh that didn''t sound right did it lol! But the overall area (if I understand what you are really asking) didn''t change much for me.

lol! I think you understand what I am asking if I understand what you are answering

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 1:06:56 PM
Author: sunnyd
LOL, DG you need to spend some time reading the preggo thread!

I''m fascinated by pregnancy. I can say that never having been pregnant, but ask me again after #1.

Seriously though, I can''t wait to see what happens to me. Is that weird? The part I''m freaked out by is having a teenager because I know what I did as one, and I know what FI did.

lol...Are you serious? I stopped by there a few weeks ago but didn''t read much of anything. Just congratulated CourtneyLub on her new baby. But you see...when I learn more and more about this stuff, the more freaked out I feel. It''s almost better to not know those sorts of details because then I''ll just be even more mortified.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 1:04:01 PM
Author: cdt1101
Having just given birth less than 3 weeks ago, I can honestly say my labor was the easy part!! I HATED being preggo, and I had a super easy pregnancy until 30 weeks. At 30 weeks I developed kidney stones, stent was put in and bedrest ensued the remaining 8 weeks of pregnancy! It SUCKED. I was on painkillers just to get thru it, and literally counted the hours until the alien inside of me popped out!

Now I'm just struggling w/ my body and what it looks like! Sucks...although I was one of the lucky ones I guess and didn't get stretch marks, but I have a LONG way to go to get back into shape. My ass and thighs are HUGE..hehehe...

My labor was pretty quick my most standards. I did tear (2nd degree), but honestly it hasn't bothered me at all! I did however do something to my tailbone in the process and that's killing me! But my vajay jay feels just fine

Now, I'm just TERRIFIED of what sex is going to feel like when we can resume activities

Congrats on the new baby! I'm glad everything turned out good in the long run. That sounds like a bit of a scare you had there! Goodness. And yes, as I was sort-of asking Maisie, your last concern would be one of mine as well.

 

[cdt1101]

Dream - yeah I''m absolutely terrified of what it''s going to be like! And even though i''m only about 3 weeks out, I do have a DESIRE to be intimate w/ my DH, but we''re not cleared for it yet anyway (have to wait 6 weeks). I figure I''m just going to get liquored up and give it a go when the time comes

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 1:17:56 PM
Author: cdt1101
Dream - yeah I''m absolutely terrified of what it''s going to be like! And even though i''m only about 3 weeks out, I do have a DESIRE to be intimate w/ my DH, but we''re not cleared for it yet anyway (have to wait 6 weeks). I figure I''m just going to get liquored up and give it a go when the time comes

That''s great though that you have that desire already! Look at you go lady!

I''d say let us know how it all goes over but I wont. I''m sure it will be wonderful. lol

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Pregnancy freaks me out too! I guess in the end, it all worked out for me since we adopted and I didn''t have to go through pregnancy/childbirth anyway.

 

[ChinaCat]

You''re obviously not alone, another one here who thinks pregnancy is weird, and honestly, before I got pregnant, thought it was the most UNnatural thing ever. What about evolution? Don''t you think some OTHER way could have evolved/been developed by now? Come on, growing something inside you is creepy and pushing something out is insane.

But Tgal hit the nail on the head, as always. Once preggo, time has a way of preparing you for it. And I did not expect how cool and natural this all feels. I actually have really enjoyed being preggo, which has been a total shock to me.

The other funny thing is that I still find it weird what is happening to preggos a bit ahead of me. For instance, one of my friends was 3 months ahead of me. I saw her at 33 weeks (which is where I am now) and her belly freaked me out. It just looked weird and kinda gross. Now that I''m there, I think my own belly is really cool. So it is completely different when it''s you.

Btw, I got preggo at 34 and still felt that pregnancy was creepy, but I finally felt like I could handle it and something had changed. But at 30 I was pretty convinced I never wanted to be pregnant. Sometimes things change- and of course, sometimes they don''t.

The other part is that there are TONS of really disgusting things that happen while preggo that NO ONE tells you about. Well, if you read the preggo thread you might get clued in. But I wouldn''t, I think it''s better NOT to know all of the crazy sh*t that goes down until you have no choice.

I just keep reminding myself that millions of women have been doing this forever and manage to get through it, so will I. Fingers crossed. Eww, can''t even think about it yet and I am just weeks away!

Love this thread, btw.

 

[Haven]

Trill--I''m with you!

I get very uncomfortable around very pregnant women. They just look so . . . uncomfortable. In fact, I hate shopping at IKEA because it''s always swarming with very pregnant women. I have no idea why, but it is. (DH hates shopping there, too, but that''s because he''s a furniture snob because his family owns a furniture store.)

I hope to have children one day, but I''m going to have to do some serious adjusting to the whole situation.

(I didn''t read the responses, so sorry if I repeated what others have said.)

 

[Bia]

Man, I''m busy for a few weeks and miss all the interesting threads!

Tril, I am scared s***less of giving birth. I was convinced, CONVINCED, in HS that I was going to adopt, only to not have to deal with actual childbirth. The idea of squeezing a baby out (sorry if that''s crass) is terrifying. I have little tolerance for pain. Hurting my back last year (which, keep in mind, was just a muscle thing, not a disk thing) felt like the most excruciating pain in the world, and I was told it was nothing compared to childbirth

I want to have a baby, but honestly I''m scared I won''t be able to handle it. Watching a movie on the real deal recently didn''t help calm my fears either

 

[Dreamgirl]

lol Bia. I feel just like you girl!

I''m glad I''m not the only one! I thought there was something wrong with me and all other women are THRILLED to be pregnant and push children out.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 6/22/2009 3:02:58 AM
Author: Lovinggems
I would love to have kids but I''m not sure I can cope with natural birth, I''ll probably get a c-section.

I don''t think you''re bad at thinking the way you do, some people are just very adverse to having kids.

I doubt you''ll find a dr. who will willing give you a c-section unless it''s needed. I had two. The first was because after pushing my son for three hours, he didn''t budge and a c/s was the only option. It''s an operation and a serious one. Each of my two c/s cost $15,000 a piece. Luckily I have good insurance. It''d be surprising that an insurance co. would cover an elective c/s for your FIRST child since it would cost them so much more. If you do need a c/s the first time, chances are you''ll have the option to have a repeat one.

 

[innerkitten]

40 is not that old and most women do look good at 40.

As far as the pregnancy thing being weird, it's not that weird once you go through it. It does have unpleasent moments thats for sure. But the end result is so worth it. I lost all my pregnancy weight and have no stretch marks. I only gained 28 lbs and look just like I did before I got pregnant. I do think it would have been easier to sit on an egg for a few months though or carried my daughter in a pouch. Kangaroos have it so easy.

On the subject of weird, the thing thing that I find weird in this world is the solar system and the neighboring planets and suns etc. It makes me feel so small. I get kind of dizzy thinking about it

 

[innerkitten]

MC is right a c section is not an option you get to choose ( in most cases anyway )just because you want to. You have to have a good reason. Just get an epi you won''t feel a thing.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 4:21:28 PM
Author: MC

Date: 6/22/2009 3:02:58 AM
Author: Lovinggems
I would love to have kids but I''m not sure I can cope with natural birth, I''ll probably get a c-section.

I don''t think you''re bad at thinking the way you do, some people are just very adverse to having kids.

I doubt you''ll find a dr. who will willing give you a c-section unless it''s needed. I had two. The first was because after pushing my son for three hours, he didn''t budge and a c/s was the only option. It''s an operation and a serious one. Each of my two c/s cost $15,000 a piece. Luckily I have good insurance. It''d be surprising that an insurance co. would cover an elective c/s for your FIRST child since it would cost them so much more. If you do need a c/s the first time, chances are you''ll have the option to have a repeat one.

I had an emergency C due to slowing heartrate and my toxemia. They kept me in the hospital for SIX DAYS, which is insane in this day and age (usually they punt you out in 2-3). My hospital bill came out to be over $50,000, so yeah, I would make sure insurance covers elective C''s because it''s a hell of a bill, even if they weren''t to do their usual inflating!

 

[jas]

I think a woman's mindset has an impact on her pregnancy, for certain.

I was always terrified of birthing, although pregnancy was something that fascinated me...(China, nothing disgusting happened to me during pregnancy, minus one hemi

)...like TGal said, nature protects procreation...if pregnancy was that traumatic on a large scale, we would have died out as a species awhile ago. It has its odd moments, and certainly I got more than my share f bizarre comments from strangers, and seeing son #2's tushie sticking up out of my belly was more amusing than anything, and oddly reassuring.

To be fair, I never had morning sickness, stretch marks, or too much discomfort except for the last week. By then I was all, "Ok, I'm ready! Get the jaws of life and get these babies outta me!"

Why nature hasn't improved the birthing process is beyond me.

My only fear was pooping on the delivery table. To be honest, once I got to the hospital, it was like I was in an alternate reality and that wouldn't have bothered me.

I ended up having an emergency c-section cuz one of mine was trying to make a break for it feet first...c-sections are serious business and in my opinion should not be treated lightly.

That being said, I loved having the kids that way...I was up and around in 24 hours, although the gas that TGal mentioned was not joyful...neither was the nurses asking me if I'd tooted 100 times a day, no matter who was in the room.

I had a friend who just perseverated on how awful labor was going to be...and guess what? For her, it was. I honestly believe that she made it harder on herself. (Which is not to say that if you just convince yourself rainbows and unicorns will pop out of your area and ease delivery, they will.)

That being said, you are totally not alone in your thoughts. I could never quite shake that scene from Men in Black when Will Smith delivered the alien baby. For some reason I kept picturing that as my birth scene.

Fortunately, didn't happen that way.

 

[trillionaire]

Sonograms totally freak me out too. They look like aliens! OMG! And the 3D one''s are worse, it feels so intrusive, like you are so NOT supposed to know what this mystical creature is going to look like yet! I am so much more settle once they get here...

Which leads me to the big announcement...

MY FNIL is here!!!

Her name is Jazmine

6/22/09, 11:39am PDT
7lbs, 8oz, 19 inches!

I couldn''t be happier! (unless it was one of my own siblings!) I am anxiously awaiting photos!!!

YAY BABY!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 4:39:17 PM
Author: jas


I was always terrified of birthing, although pregnancy was something that fascinated me...(China, nothing disgusting happened to me during pregnancy, minus one hemi

)...like TGal said, nature protects procreation...if pregnancy was that traumatic on a large scale, we would have died out as a species awhile ago. It has its odd moments, and certainly I got more than my share f bizarre comments from strangers, and seeing son #2''s tushie sticking up out of my belly was more amusing than anything, and oddly reassuring.

Oh, you SO have to join me on this thread.

Trillionaire, congrats!!!

 

[Beacon]

The whole concept totally freaks me out. When I was young, I had a friend who got pregnant at an early age. After the birth she told me, "never, never do it". That made a big impression. Then I later worked with a gal who used to be a neonatal nurse and she herself was too scared to become pregnant after what she had seen on the job.

Now I think medical technology has failed me as I hoped that they would have invented some way to have a pregnancy outside the body by now!

One time I was talking to a gal who put things in perspective. She had two kids and I asked her if she wasn't scared when she was going to have to give birth. She was a great girl from Texas and she told me, "Honey, the scary part isn't having 'em, the scary part is raising 'em!"

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 6/22/2009 4:00:39 PM
Author: Bia
Man, I''m busy for a few weeks and miss all the interesting threads!

Tril, I am scared s***less of giving birth. I was convinced, CONVINCED, in HS that I was going to adopt, only to not have to deal with actual childbirth. The idea of squeezing a baby out (sorry if that''s crass) is terrifying. I have little tolerance for pain. Hurting my back last year (which, keep in mind, was just a muscle thing, not a disk thing) felt like the most excruciating pain in the world, and I was told it was nothing compared to childbirth

I want to have a baby, but honestly I''m scared I won''t be able to handle it. Watching a movie on the real deal recently didn''t help calm my fears either

I just wanted to give another viewpoint in this - after going through both back pain and childbirth (unmedicated, after 43 hours of labor and over 2 hours of pushing), I''d say that back pain is worse. Labor''s supposed to be painful (although some hypnobirth and orgasmic birth types might disagree with me), and the pain actually helps with a hormone feedback loop that helps labor progress, your body release feel good hormones, and helps your body do what it''s supposed to do. I knew that my body was hurting for a reason and that it would feel soooo much better the second the baby came out. And it did! My back, on the other hand, is not supposed to hurt and there wasn''t a definite end to the pain - which made it feel a lot worse, even though the actual intensity wasn''t anywhere near as bad.

Pregnancy is weird. We called George a parasite quite a bit.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am not "maternal" either in the sense that I don't really care much about other people's kids. Some are cute, some are not, but I don't tend to google boogle over babies or try to pinch their cheeks.

Being pregnant was interesting and not as creepy as I thought it would be. It is very abstract for a first time mother. It wasn't until I saw my son emerge from my body that it became real to me, and it was the single coolest moment in my whole life. Not creepy, or strange, or bizarre... just amazing. I couldn't believe that HE had been inside me the whole time! The abstract became concrete. I think that the hormones that kick in with labour help with the intensity of the moment, because I honestly felt high as a kite when he was born!

I think the thing that many women can't imagine when they are contemplating having kids is that it isn't "some kid" or "that thing" that is growing inside you. It is your child! And that animalistic love, passion, and bond you feel for your child is the deepest and most primal feeling you will ever have. I love my son with an intensity that a person simply cannot understand until they have been a parent. "Love" is not an adequate word to describe what it feels like to have a child. I love my husband, but I would not die for him. But I would die for my son in a second, without giving it a second thought. We need a better word, I think, to describe that type of all-encompassing emotion.

Everything that came before you met your child -- all the morning sickness, the big butt, the stretched out hoo ha -- none of it matters one little bit once you meet your child.

 

[MustangGal]

I was also a little weirded out by the thought of childbirth, and wasn''t really interested in doing it. I gave in last year (at 29 years old and after 7 years of marriage), and now have a 4 month old. I''m not maternal, and still managed to produce a half decent baby

. I must have been lucky in that I didn''t have strange people asking to feel my belly or give me advice. I had the easiest pregnancy ever, gained 33 pounds, and got 2 tiny streatch marks only becasue I had an old scar on my belly and it didn''t like what I was doing to it. My labor was another story, but after 2 hours of pushing (with an epidural), I had a c-section and a 9 pound baby. I really did not want it that way, but you just have to go with the flow at that point. It still freaks me out that I produced this little being, but he is pretty fun. The breastfeeding was more on the gross side, my baby never latched correctly, so I gave up after 5 weeks. Pregnancy doesn''t have to ruin your body either! I only have 3 pounds left, and fit back into most of my clothes. I''m going to the beach next month, and plan on strutting around in a bikini with a baby on my hip

.

SO my response is, you just learn to deal with it as it comes. You get 40 weeks to get used to it, and other than labor, it progresses pretty slowly.

 

[Octavia]

I''ve never had ANY desire to be pregnant, full stop. It''s creeped me out forever. But over the past year or so, basically since FI and I got engaged, I''ve been doing a lot of reading about it (read: lurking in the FH&H threads...now I''ve gone and outed myself) and it doesn''t seem that horrendous anymore. I''m still not convinced I want to be pregnant, but I feel a whole lot more informed, which has given me a certain comfort level. I know that I can do it when the time comes, and hopefully there will be people around who can provide support and guidance, both IRL and here. Of course, now that I know what kinds of things can and do go wrong (even little things, not necessarily the big ones), I''m actually more freaked out about that than about the concept of pregnancy in general...

 

[atroop711]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:42:50 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/22/2009 11:27:57 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/22/2009 11:17:38 AM

lol) Maybe I''ll wait till I''m about 40 when I don''t look good anymore. Where else in the PS community can I feel comfortable enough to say stuff like this?

Not the case my dear, if you take care of yourself you can still look and feel FABULOUS in your forties and beyond! I wouldn''t trade 20 years to look the way I did back then, I far prefer how I look now.

AMEN Lorelei...I''m 41, just had my 3rd 7mo ago and I still look FABULOUS! I look better in my late 30''s and 40''s than I did in my early 20''s

 

[atroop711]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:47:52 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
I think part of my fear is because I''m a petite person. So I don''t see how I can possibly push 8+ pounds of baby out of my body. I just don''t see how its humanly possible. Too bad you can''t give birth to a very healthy baby at 4 months in. I can probably push that out. Maybe.


And like I said, I don''t like the idea of being cut open either. It just seems like a loose loose situation for me.

my mom is petite and pushed out 3 kids...all of us were all over 9 lbs. I was her first and was 10 pounds. My MIL is 4ft 10in and had 9 kids...all vaginal.

 

[atroop711]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:09:18 PM
Author: luckystar112
I''m okay with the thought of being pregnant. In fact, I''m not that terrified of having an epidural or a c-section.


What FREAKS ME OUT is the thought of potentially having to have an episiotomy.

I took a human sexuality class where they showed a picture of it. It didn''t show the actual clipping so there wasn''t any blood, but it did show the scissors (sorry, I don''t know the name of the tool) stretching the skin in an ''about to be snipped'' pose. Oh. My. God.

I think I''d rather have a c-section than experience that, as weird as that sounds. I''m sure an episiotomy is much less dangerous than a c-section.

luckystar I PROMISE that it''s over 1, 2, 3 and you don''t feel a thing. They numb you and all you feel is a pinch. It''s way better that abdominal surgery

 

[atroop711]

to wait until I''m just about 30... so about 3 years, before we have kids. That''s plenty of time to catch up on my reading.

Well turning 28 doesn''t help anymore. It just freaks you out more!!! Because time''s-a-ticking and I''m not-a-clickin...


don''t worry about turning 28yr...I got married at 28 and no way I was ready for kids...You have lots of time..you are young. I just had my last at 40yr. Don''t stress out about your age...you have time! Just enjoy the practice