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PS Fairy Dust Please for my Mom.

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Gypsy, I''ve been poorly and haven''t been posting the last few days. But I was reading this thread and I wanted to let you know that your Mom, and your family, and you, have been and will be in my thoughts and prayers. You have shown so much strength and dignity in all of this. I truy admire your spirit. Take care.
 

Hi. Was just too... disheartened to post yesterday. I did read your posts, and they really helped me to be able to sleep last night... I was having a hard time, so I logged on... and your encouragement gave me some peace of mind... and after surfing for a little while I did fall asleep. So thank you all, again and always for the continued support.


Mom''s worse.
She''s got a fever, elevated heart rate, chest pain. Chest x ray showed a deterioration of her lungs. They intubated again. Which means they can sedate her, so she can rest, get to the gunk in her lungs, and stabilize her breathing.
Step-dad is going over the edge.
He''s yelled at the nursing staff a few times, they feel like they''ve got two patients not one. It''s translating to my mother''s stress.
I talked to the nurse, let her know it''s just him, and that I know they are doing everything they can. Calmed them down.
Tried talking to step dad, got yelled at a bit. Decided to back off. John''s going to be talking to him, cause I just can''t deal.
Dr.J is taking the hits to his ego better.
He went in today with the Cheif when he visited my mom.
The reassurance of having someone looking over his shoulder there seemed to visibly relieve my mother''s mind.

She''s going to be in ICU a while longer.


Amber... I might take you up on that. John will be there during the day on Wednesday, and I''ll visit after work-- may leave work early. So... a break and someone friendly to chat with might just be wonderful.


Thank you all.
Layla
 
Oh Gypsy, I am so sorry. I hope she gets better soon, you are probably so worried.
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I am glad John is going to talk to your mom''s hubby. He is probably worried too, but too bad he is being difficult. I continue to pray for you and your family during this difficult time.
 
Oh Gypsy, sorry to hear...

John needs to remind step-dad he''s not helping your mother with his attitude, and isn''t that what he wants, to HELP her? Honestly.


Just take one day, one hour, at a time, you''ll get through this.

Thoughts, prayers, and major hugs continued.
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Layla, thinking about you guys here - it is taking amazing strength to deal with and handle what you are handling - only deal with what you can and try not to let everyone''s ''stuff'' succeed at overwhelming you. I know it is much easier said than done, but your mom definitely needs your strength and clarity of perspective in this situation because you have proven yourself to be her best advocate. Keep strong honey. Lots of hugs and healing thoughts and prayers your way.
 
I''m so sorry to hear. I hope your mom gets better soon. Lots of hugs and continued thoughts to you and your mom.
 
Gypsy I'm so sorry. I don't know if its any comfort at all to you, but I know that respiratory infections post-op are at least not uncommon, and people come back from them. I basically grew up in a cardiac surgeon's lounge [no hospital daycare] and both my mother and my grandmother were ICU nurses/perfusionists, so while I don't have training myself I've heard lots of advice over the years.


I wanted to comment..when you are there, if you can watch the drs and nurses and make sure they wash their hands before touching your mom. Staph infection rates in hospitals are ridiculous and mostly due to lack of simple hand-washing.

That said, don't make yourself crazy over it, you have ENOUGH to be getting on with!


Could you take a leave of absense from work? I remember this is a dead end job for you anyway, so perhaps this would be a good time to cut the strings and ease up your own stress?
 
Thank you guys.
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It's difficult dealing with the external BS, is all. Last time my aunt was here to help out, and she was able to get Step dad reasonably under control. I'm going to have to give her a call. We had originally planned for her to come down when my mother got out of the hospital, but now... I'm thinking we need her here sooner to deal with him. He and I have only ever gotten along on a surface level. He isn't emotionally mature, and just will never be... so, superfical interactions between the two of us are really the only ones that work. Anything deeper leaves us both frustrated and antagonized. My boss was giving me a hard time this morning cause I need a couple hours off tomorrow and Wednesday... but I talked to her boss and HR, and now she's all roses and daiisys.


Plus my aunt and uncle, who took care of my grandparent's last time are in Europe, and aren't returning till the 29th. So we have to care for them too. They have a housekeeper that visits three times a week... but they're old and lonely... so they need attention too.

Sorry to vent. Just... really needed to. Can't unload more onto John, my family's out for venting... so....

((HUGSS)) for you all and for me. LOL.

Rainbow honey, this one isn't a dead end job. This one is a the real thing... so while I could take a leave of absence... I'm just going to try to get by with a few hours here, and a few hours there for now.
 
Sorry :-/ I thought I remembered that you were looking to change jobs. Its too bad, it might have been nice not to have the added stress. Pffft.

Hugs!
 
HI:

Gosh. Hospitalizations are hard on families. Everything seems to be not only out of control but certainly out of your control. People react in ways that one might never imagine. Fear can do that.

Layla, I hope you Mom is getting the chest physio she needs. Oh, and please inquire that she is being turned regularily and her skin is being attended to--sorry but I worked in an area that saw/treated many a skin or pressure ulcer (of all stages) developed in ICU because of lack of attention to this need..... (sorry if this is TMI, but sometimes I hate knowing about these things....)

Healing thoughts your way.....

kind regards--Sharon
 
prayers outgoing
*huge hugs*
 
Layla,

I am so sorry that everything is going so poorly. The deterioration in your mother''s health is, of course, the more terrible thing to go wrong, but having your stepfather need so much attention sounds like a straw that could break a camel''s back.

I was reassured to read the postings of some other PS members who seem to think that your mother''s recovery, painful though it is for her and you, is not abnormal.

Like everyone else, I am thinking of you.

Big hugs,
Deborah
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Layla,

I am so sorry that the situation has become more complicated, both with your mom''s physical health and your stepdad''s troublesome ways. More positive thoughts and wishes coming your way.

~K
 
Hi Rainbow... I was afraid because I thought there were going to be some changes to the management above me, so I panicked and was job hunting... that's probably what you remember. But the best thing for me in terms of my career is to stay here for another year (been here on year already), then look for different companies for a move. Thank you for the re-assurance that pneumonia is
Canuck gal... Thank you for that. I just called the nurse. Because my mom has Lupis, and her immune system is therefore already compromised, they are taking special care regarding Staph infections. Skin= they are turning her and elevating limbs and so forth-- which she said is easier with my mom sedated, because yesterday when she was agitated and uncomfortable and scared she was either sitting up or laying down and resisting too much turning as too painful. As for her chest therapy...Dr. J requested a massager, vibration thing to be used on her chest and back (working around and through the halo's vest) which the nurse hadn't been exposed to before, so she couldn't comment on it's effectiveness.

Storm thank you, I REALLY NEEDED both the prayers and the big hug.

Deborah, Step dad has been, unfortunately, that straw quite frequently throughout this process (my grandmother's eyes blaze at the mention of his name he insulted her so bad a couple of weeks ago).... Which is why I'm so grateful John is so supportive. It is reassuring to hear the experiences and knowledge of everyone, it's a huge comfort, and also gives me a list of things to check on to make sure preventitive measures are in place to protect her from other complications.

Thank you Kimberly. It's all part and parcel, my Stepdad can be very generous and hopehearted and a good guy, he just really doesn't deal well with stress, which unfortunately is also bad for his heath. And my mother's. But, he's family. WHat are you going to do? LOL.


Ellen, that's exactly what John's going to try to do. He'll be better at it than I will be god knows.


Skippy... thank you sweetie. He is scared, and that is where it's coming from. I am trying to keep that in mind, and its much easier to keep it in mind when I don't actually have to deal with him.

Snlee... I appreciate your frequent, and positive posts, thank you honey.

FG-- I am doing my best to keep strong. You guys, John and the cats fortify me. Thanks for the healing thoughts and prayers. Much appreicated.
 
So sorry to hear this. Your mom has my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery.
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Thank you Indy.
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Gypsy, you have been given lots of great advice and support. I truly think that you have done everything in your power to protect and look after your mom.

My heart goes out to you and John for having to go through all of this "family" business. Please don''t overextend yourself with this; John seems well capable of looking after many issues - let him handle this part. Your responsibility ( and you''ve handled it so well !) lies with your mom''s and your own care.

((((((((((((MORE BIG HUGS))))))))))
 
Layla,

Whenever I return to the board, I check to see if anything is new in this thread. I don''t want you to think that because no one posted, that no one was checking in and thinking of you. If you are on-line for 15 minutes or half an hour there may be scads of people checking the thread, even if you see no action. Seeing you answer one poster made me sad because I knew how often I had looked in. I just don''t want to babble and babble :-(.

Hugs,
Deb
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Date: 9/17/2007 7:26:19 PM
Author: AGBF


Layla,

Whenever I return to the board, I check to see if anything is new in this thread. I don''t want you to think that because no one posted, that no one was checking in and thinking of you. If you are on-line for 15 minutes or half an hour there may be scads of people checking the thread, even if you see no action. Seeing you answer one poster made me sad because I knew how often I had looked in. I just don''t want to babble and babble :-(.

Hugs,
Deb
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Me too!
I check religiously and read all your updates Gypsy.
Not much I can add that hasn''t already been said.
Holding my breath, keeping the faith, hoping and praying along with everyone else on here.

((hugs))
 
Date: 9/17/2007 7:26:19 PM
Author: AGBF


Layla,

Whenever I return to the board, I check to see if anything is new in this thread. I don't want you to think that because no one posted, that no one was checking in and thinking of you. If you are on-line for 15 minutes or half an hour there may be scads of people checking the thread, even if you see no action. Seeing you answer one poster made me sad because I knew how often I had looked in. I just don't want to babble and babble :-(.

Hugs,
Deb
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Oh honey. I don't respond to one poster thinking... "only one poster?" I think... wow it was so nice of that person to post. It's not about the number of people who respond. I know your hearts, and I know you care, and I know that even if you aren't posting you are there. The thought of the NUMBER of posts never crosses my mind. I replied to Indy just the same as i would reply to 20 different posts. Each of your expressions of caring and support mean so much to me. I don't know how to put in any other way. I feel it, don't you worry, even if you aren't posting every two minutes. And you don't have to post every two minutes. There are days like yesterday, when *I* just check in, and don't post. SO NO WORRIES that I'll feel slighted or not supported. This isn't a very uplifting thread, my posts depress ME. So I certainly don't see why you guys would want to depress yourselves at regular intervals during the day or week. LOL. ((HUGS)) honey, all is well, don't stress yourself out over me. I'm getting what I need, and more than what I need from you all, you've been so very generous. I'm humbled-- never think otherwise. You Too SuzyQ!

Thank you Isaku... you know, I think I needed to hear that. That I've done everything I could. Because I forget and have this gnawing guilty stress ball in my tummy. And more big hugs feel REALLY REALLY GREAT. Thanks so much honey. I think that I'll pass that hug along to John, who is just being fabulous.
 
This is one thread I check religiously. I feel for all that you are going through Layla. Sounds as though you and John are on top of things. I don''t post on PS as much as I used to. But you, John and of course your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care, I know this has been a very difficult road. Big hugs!!! Lisa
 
Date: 9/17/2007 7:41:56 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 9/17/2007 7:26:19 PM
Author: AGBF


Layla,

Whenever I return to the board, I check to see if anything is new in this thread. I don''t want you to think that because no one posted, that no one was checking in and thinking of you. If you are on-line for 15 minutes or half an hour there may be scads of people checking the thread, even if you see no action. Seeing you answer one poster made me sad because I knew how often I had looked in. I just don''t want to babble and babble :-(.

Hugs,
Deb
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Click to expand...
Oh honey. I don''t respond to one poster thinking... ''only one poster?'' I think... wow it was so nice of that person to post. It''s not about the number of people who respond. I know your hearts, and I know you care, and I know that even if you aren''t posting you are there. The thought of the NUMBER of posts never crosses my mind. I replied to Indy just the same as i would reply to 20 different posts. Each of your expressions of caring and support mean so much to me. I don''t know how to put in any other way. I feel it, don''t you worry, even if you aren''t posting every two minutes. And you don''t have to post every two minutes. There are days like yesterday, when *I* just check in, and don''t post. SO NO WORRIES that I''ll feel slighted or not supported. This isn''t a very uplifting thread, my posts depress ME. So I certainly don''t see why you guys would want to depress yourselves at regular intervals during the day or week. LOL. ((HUGS)) honey, all is well, don''t stress yourself out over me. I''m getting what I need, and more than what I need from you all, you''ve been so very generous. I''m humbled-- never think otherwise. You Too SuzyQ!

Thank you Isaku... you know, I think I needed to hear that. That I''ve done everything I could. Because I forget and have this gnawing guilty stress ball in my tummy. And more big hugs feel REALLY REALLY GREAT. Thanks so much honey. I think that I''ll pass that hug along to John, who is just being fabulous.
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Because we care, honey!!! Hang in there. I''m praying for you all. Your stepdad must be so scared to be such a butthead at a time like this.

shay
 
Date: 9/17/2007 7:41:56 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 9/17/2007 7:26:19 PM
Author: AGBF


Layla,

Whenever I return to the board, I check to see if anything is new in this thread. I don''t want you to think that because no one posted, that no one was checking in and thinking of you. If you are on-line for 15 minutes or half an hour there may be scads of people checking the thread, even if you see no action. Seeing you answer one poster made me sad because I knew how often I had looked in. I just don''t want to babble and babble :-(.

Hugs,
Deb
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Click to expand...
Oh honey. I don''t respond to one poster thinking... ''only one poster?'' I think... wow it was so nice of that person to post. It''s not about the number of people who respond. I know your hearts, and I know you care, and I know that even if you aren''t posting you are there. The thought of the NUMBER of posts never crosses my mind. I replied to Indy just the same as i would reply to 20 different posts. Each of your expressions of caring and support mean so much to me. I don''t know how to put in any other way. I feel it, don''t you worry, even if you aren''t posting every two minutes. And you don''t have to post every two minutes. There are days like yesterday, when *I* just check in, and don''t post. SO NO WORRIES that I''ll feel slighted or not supported. This isn''t a very uplifting thread, my posts depress ME. So I certainly don''t see why you guys would want to depress yourselves at regular intervals during the day or week. LOL. ((HUGS)) honey, all is well, don''t stress yourself out over me. I''m getting what I need, and more than what I need from you all, you''ve been so very generous. I''m humbled-- never think otherwise. You Too SuzyQ!

Thank you Isaku... you know, I think I needed to hear that. That I''ve done everything I could. Because I forget and have this gnawing guilty stress ball in my tummy. And more big hugs feel REALLY REALLY GREAT. Thanks so much honey. I think that I''ll pass that hug along to John, who is just being fabulous.
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Oh Gypsy, I''m sorry you have so much else to deal with on top of your mother''s condition. All I can say is your step-father must be scared to bits and doesn''t know how to handle it, so he''s taking it out on everyone else. You just hang in there and take care of your mother and yourself.

I think so many people are following this thread closely because we all care about you and feel deeply for your situation. All of us have mothers and can empathise if we were in the same situation. I have so much admiration for you and how you''re dealing with things. Keep your head up and {{{{hugs}}}}} to you and John.
 
Oooof. I don''t even know what to say ...
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I sure hope things get easier for you & your family ASAP!
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I so understand where your coming from with your step-dad.
Dealing with my dad when my mom was sick and in the hospital was at times much worse than dealing with her illness.
He made the nurses cry many times.
**huge hugs**
 
Stopping by to check in and give you a big virtual hug, Gyspy. Sounds like the stress of all this is getting to your stepdad, I hope John can talk to him and help him de-stress a bit so he''s not so edgy. Hang in there, and take care of yourself.
 
Hi, Layla-

I just dropped by the thread to see if there was any news on what kind of night your mother had. Of course in the ICU night and day do not matter much. I hope you got some sleep.

Hugs,
Deb
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Hi,

Sorry a late post - how is your mother?

May she be comforted by your love and healed by its strength!
 
Prayers continue for your mom and huge hugs to you and John. I really admire your strength in dealing with everything that''s going on. You''re a lovely person and a loving devoted daughter. Hang in there, Gypsy. We''re all thinking of you and hope for your mon''s speedy recovery.
 
I have been checking your thread for updates... I really have no advice to offer, but just wanted to let you know that your family is still in my thoughts and I wish the best for all of you.
 
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