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PS Fairy Dust Please for my Mom.

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Angeline honey, I''m sorry. I know how hard it is. Mom almost died of Manengitis when I was three and half-- they wouldn''t let me in the room to see her, she was quarentined but I remember it vividly because my father had just abandoned us, and I was terrified to loose her. She conquered cancer. Two bipass surgeries, a plate in her head from Paget''s disease, and well... a few other things. And she has Lupis. She''s a medical well, marvel. People look at her chart and just wonder how she''s still alive and kicking. But she is, and she''s strong. I know that. And thank you for reminding me.

Thank you Amber honey, for the continued support. I am keeping the boundaries of medical certainty in mind... I just wish Mr. Surgeon with the God Complex would just stop and THINK for one second and...

WOw. I''m in a really rotten mood.

Okay. Not gonna post on here right now. Sorry, just not feeling emotionally able right now.

Mom''s made some baby steps. 3.5 hours off the machines today. Blood culture was negative. So they are culturing the gunk in her lungs. Also changed her central line, fearing it was infected. Will hopefully have better news tomorrow.

I wanted to reply to you all... but I''ve been in a witch of a mood most of the day, and I can''t seem to ditch it. Sorry. Just, ignore me.... THANK YOU EVERYONE.

Isaku, I never thought you were trivializing anything honey. No worries. Your love and support have shined through in each post. And I can''t tell you how much that means. HUGG HUGS HUGS.

Fly girl, thank you... I am still upset about last night. I think I''ll get over when I see her again but it was hard. I sang a lullabye to her, one she sang to me as a baby, one of my first memories ever... it seemed to calm her after that, and she went to sleep. It was hard to sing a lullabye to my mom. i don''t know why... but it seemed like the only thing I could do.

Deborah, honey I cannot tell you what a comfort you''ve been to me with your fierce encouragement. Thank you for the HUGS.

Ellen, the ''with Vigilance" made me smile. Thank you honey. I really appreciate it.

Wolftress honey, I''m sorry I made you sad... I didn''t mean to. It was a distressing incident... but with luck, prayers, fairy dust, and some more baby steps she''ll be on the road to recovery from this soon.

You know... I was in a terrible mood. But I forced myself to read, and really LISTEN to you all, instead of the stress in my heart and gut... and I feel lighter. What a wonderful gift you''ve all given me. ((HUGS)).
 
Sickness scares people, so hopefully your stepdad can vent to someone too.

It seems like when it rains it pours.

Be strong, thinking of you and all you are going through...
 
Thank you DF, I appreciate your post. And I''m glad to see you posting more. You''ve been missed.
 
prayers continue
Try and get some u time and unload a little.
Do something you enjoy for a couple hours.
 
Date: 9/21/2007 1:43:53 AM
Author: strmrdr
prayers continue
Try and get some u time and unload a little.
Do something you enjoy for a couple hours.
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Ditto. Care givers need TLC too. Hugs Layla. Sweet dreams!!
 
Thank you for the distraction advice. Storm and Kaleigh (and for all your encouraging posts to date, you've been so wonderul, both of you)... we watched Avatar: The Last Earth Bender episodes for the new season premire tonight and it was just right. It's a great Nickelodean animated series we enjoy. Just what I needed. ((HUGS ALL))

And good night. TOMMORROW IS FRIDAY. THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY! Tommorow night I go the hospital. Saturday I sleep in and go to my grandparents to visit n(Must remember to shut off all phones else someone will call at 6 am for an update). Sunday I sleep in and go the hospita in the evening and-- if she's out of the ICU... I"M SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH HER in her regular room!! Plus... Got reinforcements here starting TOMMOROW. Whew. Now if only the baby steps continue... and she kicks this gunk, we excabate her, and my aunt figures out how to get to the city without using John as a Taxi service we'll be all set! Sorry... just needed a positive boost.


thank you all for tolerating my venting, moods, and emotional outbursts. You are true friends. And I'm sorry if my whining is trying your patience.
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Layla, my prayers continue - hang in there girl
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Layla, for whatever reason I only this morning read this thread. Taking in the whole story of the last three weeks at one time allowed me to see the strength and grace with which you''ve carried yourself at this time. I just wish I could get you a blankie, wrap you up, and pat your hand while you got a nice nap in. My heart is full of prayers for you. What an amazing woman you are (not that we didn''t all know that before). Sending you prayers knowing and any extra ooomph of strength/energy you may need.

-- Jackie
 
Thanks!

Been a bit overloaed here, health stuff and getting all the kids settled into school, and had some home issues I came back from vacation and had to face, and then the Jewish holidays etc, but all is well.

I just worry about YOU in all of this, so please be sure that somehow you are doing things for you too, since you cannot function well and be of help to all those who need you if you are not paying attention to your needs!!!
 
I hope things improve. Best of luck to your mom and to you.
 
Date: 9/21/2007 12:27:40 AM
Author: Gypsy

Fly girl, thank you... I am still upset about last night. I think I''ll get over when I see her again but it was hard. I sang a lullabye to her, one she sang to me as a baby, one of my first memories ever... it seemed to calm her after that, and she went to sleep. It was hard to sing a lullabye to my mom. i don''t know why... but it seemed like the only thing I could do.
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Aw Gypsy, how utterly touching. Really. Bless your heart.

Your thread and all it''s emotions have taken me back to when my dad was so ill, and I was THE only one here to take care of him. I know all too well how draining this can be, and what an emotional roller coaster it can be as well. I also know about arrogant/questionable doctors. There were times when I literally knew, and saw, more than they did, including 2 diagnosis they missed.
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I just wanted to remind you, while you have help here, please take advantage of it, as hard as that may be. You remind me very much of myself, as far as taking care of your mom, and feeling you should always be doing something/checking on someone/something. While no one can appreciate that more than me, I also know that we need breaks, to rest, regroup, and get ready for whatever comes next. So you do that, k?
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Sometimes a picture can say what words cannot. I hope you can find yourself in this "kind of place" right now. Hugs.

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Wow, your mom has been through so much and is so strong. She is an amazing woman. My thoughts are with you and your mom. Take good care of yourself during this difficult time.
 
Just a quick update, baby steps continuing forward. Her breathing test lasted over 7 hours today. No bad news about her physical condition. Had a lot of trouble with step dad, and need distance and distraction tonight. And I think I need to talk to my aunt to help me deal with this some of this, and I was requested by John to put this whole thing away for the night, and just unwind and relax and NOT post or anything about this tonigh since it mihgt upset me more and he's really worried about me. So I told him I would post quickly on this thread, just to update quickly, and give you all my thanks for your advice and support and tell you I would update you more (and reply to your very thoughtful and though provoking posts) during the weekend.
 
Gypsy:

Thank you for the update.
Our prayers are with you.
((((Hugs))))
 
Gypsy,
sweet, I am thinking of you and your dear mom. I hope things are getting easier. I am glad you aunt will be here. ((((HUGS)))!!!
 
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hang in there, Gypsy. I''m hoping and praying all goes well and your mom can spend the night in her regular room with you. Hospitals are frightening places; I''m sure all she wants is to go home and be with her family.
 
Date: 9/21/2007 10:22:52 PM
Author: Gypsy
Her breathing test lasted over 7 hours today.
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The times are getting longer. That''s good. I hope you are getting respite from some of the stress this weekend as you had hoped to, Layla. We''re thinking of you, John, and your mother.

Deborah
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I have been following this thread, but I just wanted to pop in and say how sorry I am that your mom, you, and your family are going through this. You have handled everything so well, and your mom sounds like she is slowly but surely getting better. Hang in there, you can get through this! Best wishes...

*M*
 
Layla,

Still here and thinking of you. I hope having other family members come to visit/help has provided you with some relief. You mentioned you may be spending tonight in a regular room at the hospital with your mom tonight, here''s hoping and wishing that is exactly where you are. Continued positive thoughts coming your way.

~K
 
Sending more hugs your way Layla. My prayers continue, hoping nothing but the best for your Mom, you, John and your family.
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Sweet dreams.
 
Layla,
I just wanted you to know that I''ve been thinking about you and your Mom. I went through a difficult time with both of my parents illnesses. It''s totally draining. Thank God, you have a loving husband to help you and support you throughout this ordeal. More prayers are being sent...
 
Hi Hun,

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. I hope you got some rest this weekend and that things continue to improve for your mom. Keep us posted...sending hugs and well wishes your way.
 
prayers continue
**huge hugs**
 
Add me to the hug squad. Peaceful moments to you.
 

Hello everyone.


Sorry I''ve been MIA on this thread. Honestly it was just a bad few days and when I was in a place for some downtime I didn''t want to re-live. On Friday I got news that Mom was going to be in ICU longer than we thought and that they would have to remove the halo front piece Vest and polls from her as they were worried it was compromising her breathing. I had a talk with the doctor and told him that while I leave the medical decisions up to him I would like for him to keep in mind my mother''s long term health, and that any actions that might expose her to further risk of continued operations needed to be weighed against her immediate needs. I also reminding him that my mother is, well, a vain woman, and if she consented to bolts that would leave scars being screwed into her forhead (when it was presented to her as an option, not as a requirement), she clearly felt her neck and back''s continued support were important enough to warrant the scarring and discomfort (she''s a little claustrophobic too so the halo set up is a tough one for her).


On Saturday I stayed home with a migraine, but went to my grandparent''s house for dinner to see see my Aunt and cousins. Aunt had had a ''bit'' of a breakdown at the hospital, and well... just generally got freaked out, started crying... my mom started crying... and well, you get the picture. Step dad was not big on understanding, but big on criticism. This is the what started the migraine going. LOL. So my grandma chose to cry in my arms on Saturday night, much to the dismay of everyone else... as they didn''t want her to add to my stress. Grandma''s stress trumps all however, and we got her undercontrol. My grandparent''s didn''t know about the pnemonia... grandma was crying cause she misses mom. I miss her too.


I went to the hospital yesterday stayed for some hours. Noticed her neck falling forward a bit, so I called Dr.J on his day off, and he came to the hospital... agreed, and took the BACK of the vest off (halo is still on her head though) and put her in traction (which apparently means tying her head via the halo to the bed-- not a pleasant experience for any one involved, most especially mom).



She''s got good hand strength (almost broke John''s hand) and can kick like a rocket (when she gets frustrated at the communications limitations)... and once she was in traction, recovered her cough and gag reflexes. She''s can however seem to do either on command or voluntarily ... so the link between cognitive thought and those reflexes are still an issue. She''s getting better though, I firmly believe that.

Poor John, who is backed up at work is taking my other Aunt (from TX) to the hospital today. Letting her drive (this is the one who rear ended a stopped, flashing school bus) because she''s afraid to take Bart at night (to which I will just have to say... you don''t have to stay till dark, come back to 4:00) and to drive alone in SF... having her drive in with John is meant to help her iwth the second with the hope of renting her a car (Step dad won''t let her drive mom''s). Last night after we left the hospital step dad called saying he''d just gotten into a huge arguement with my grandmother, and that my whole family was making his life hell. OoooooooooKay. Get to grandparent''s with aunt, cousins witnessed it: both were equally to blame. It''s like putting to two year olds in a room and telling them to be mature. Grandma was still foaming at the mouth as a result... so is step dad (he''s on the phone with me now, complaining "the love is gone"). Gotta love family.


I''m feeling a bit run down today, but otherwise okay as John made sure I rested really well. Only continued problem seems to be that I''m cold all the time- which isn''t normal for me.


That''s my update my dears. Thank you so much for your support and love... I have to say that they have been a tremendous help to John, to my mother, and to me.


((HUGS)) all. I''m not going to the hospital tonight. John is swamped iwth work and will be working till dawn most likely... and he really doesn''t want me to go without him at night, cause I get upset, and he doesn''t want me driving home in that state in the dark. So we''ll go another night, most likely tomorrow, unless step dad is going tomorrow, in which case I want to avoid him, and will do on Wednesday.


 
Gypsy, I just wanted to let you know that you are still in my thoughts and I am still hoping the best for all of your family.
More dust and hugs to you! Please take care
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My heart aches for you, Layla
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. I''m so sorry you have to go through all the added *family drama*.

I had hoped that your aunts would ease some of your burden, but it sounds like they''ve added to it
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. The relatives'' childish behaviour helps no one and continues to stress you to the point of a migraine. So unfair...

Tonight, I''m sending (((((((( HUGE BEAR HUGS))))))) and TONS of PS FAIRY DUST.
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Lots of positivity and kind thoughts are continuing to come your way, Layla.
 
thanks for the update
prayers continue
*hugs*
 
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