Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!
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Dreamer_D
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Sunkist The best Daddy bootcamp is for you to leave him to watch baby for a good 3-4 hours. Or longer! Nurse the baby and then leave, come back when Wes needs nursing, then leave again. That is the only way he will gain confidence. You can't be present or he will be worried about making a mistake. ETA Sorry, I assumed you were nursing, I can't recall. If you bottle feed, then you an just take off for 5 hours no problem!
He won;t hurt the baby and he will learn a lot.
fieryred33143
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I know I''m answering things out of order but since DD brought it up:
Sunkist-I agree with DD that spending hours alone with Wes will help boost his confidence a lot. FI had no confidence at all because a) he was never alone with her when I was on mat leave and b) I always picked on little things that he did that were "wrong" (i.e. not how I would do it).
When I went back to work, we had no choice but to have him stay with her for 2 hours at night every workday. It did wonders to his confidence and I learned that there can be a mommy way and a daddy way as long as the end goal was the same. We have a bedtime routine that we follow that he does slightly different than I do and that''s ok as long as she goes to sleep. Now I work late hours at night and even sometimes on the weekend and there''s no issue. I can say that I''m going to go to the mall for a few hours and pick up some lunch on the way home and he doesn''t get nervous like he used to.
So yes, a few hours away from home will help him out a lot. Those daddy bootcamps are great but they could also leave him feeling insecure if Wes cries when the other children don''t or if he''s not quick enough to change the diaper like everyone else, KWIM?
Sunkist-I agree with DD that spending hours alone with Wes will help boost his confidence a lot. FI had no confidence at all because a) he was never alone with her when I was on mat leave and b) I always picked on little things that he did that were "wrong" (i.e. not how I would do it).
When I went back to work, we had no choice but to have him stay with her for 2 hours at night every workday. It did wonders to his confidence and I learned that there can be a mommy way and a daddy way as long as the end goal was the same. We have a bedtime routine that we follow that he does slightly different than I do and that''s ok as long as she goes to sleep. Now I work late hours at night and even sometimes on the weekend and there''s no issue. I can say that I''m going to go to the mall for a few hours and pick up some lunch on the way home and he doesn''t get nervous like he used to.
So yes, a few hours away from home will help him out a lot. Those daddy bootcamps are great but they could also leave him feeling insecure if Wes cries when the other children don''t or if he''s not quick enough to change the diaper like everyone else, KWIM?
taovandel
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You guys move waaaaay too fast for me!
Hi to everyone!
Mandy---We did a little experiment the other day...We tried leaving Evan''s arm out of his swaddle so he could suck on his hand to sooth himself to sleep when he wakes up. He woke up 2 hours earlier then normal! So the next day we did the full swaddle and a pacifier and he slept through the night. I''m thinking he''s not ready to break free of the swaddle. I know your babies are getting too big for the swaddle so I''m sooo sorry. Thankfully E is a little peanut and still fits in the newborn one and has no desire to break free from it.
Evan will only laugh for his Daddy. It makes me so sad! I tried everything----We even did the whole "baby got back" song from Friends with Rachel and her baby. Nada. But he will laugh with Daddy when I''m in the other room. Not cool baby, not cool!
Work is going nicely. Evan is loving the nanny and is always happy when I pick him up. It''ll be interesting when my boss''s baby joins him.
I feel bad for all the husband troubles. It makes me really appreciate my husband....my husband is 100% capable of taking care of E when I''m not there. He does tend to lay him on the couch in the boppy and play video games but it''s not that excessive where I need to say anything. OH and Mandy, I also have a snoring husband....he told me to wake him up so he can turn to his side if it happens. Sometimes I feel so bad waking him up I''ll just go to the couch. I wish I had a guest bedroom to sleep in!
We are trying to do more Tummy/Bumbo time with Evan. He is getting a flat head definitely--We go back to the Doctor on March 4th...will definitely talk to the Dr. about it. I''m getting paranoid that he will need a helmet--even though it''s not that bad...just getting paranoid!
Also on March 4th we get to discuss solid foods with the Dr.! I can''t believe he will be 4 months then! I read that you should introduce the foods early morning/afternoon incase of blow out diapers. We work...so should we only introduce on the weekends when I''m off? Wouldn''t this make the process last FOREVER? I think Fiery had this question a while back---can''t remember the responses though!
Ha! Just looked over at Evan, who I had on the floor for Tummy Time, he is completely passed out! Gotta love it.
Hi to everyone!
Mandy---We did a little experiment the other day...We tried leaving Evan''s arm out of his swaddle so he could suck on his hand to sooth himself to sleep when he wakes up. He woke up 2 hours earlier then normal! So the next day we did the full swaddle and a pacifier and he slept through the night. I''m thinking he''s not ready to break free of the swaddle. I know your babies are getting too big for the swaddle so I''m sooo sorry. Thankfully E is a little peanut and still fits in the newborn one and has no desire to break free from it.
Evan will only laugh for his Daddy. It makes me so sad! I tried everything----We even did the whole "baby got back" song from Friends with Rachel and her baby. Nada. But he will laugh with Daddy when I''m in the other room. Not cool baby, not cool!
Work is going nicely. Evan is loving the nanny and is always happy when I pick him up. It''ll be interesting when my boss''s baby joins him.
I feel bad for all the husband troubles. It makes me really appreciate my husband....my husband is 100% capable of taking care of E when I''m not there. He does tend to lay him on the couch in the boppy and play video games but it''s not that excessive where I need to say anything. OH and Mandy, I also have a snoring husband....he told me to wake him up so he can turn to his side if it happens. Sometimes I feel so bad waking him up I''ll just go to the couch. I wish I had a guest bedroom to sleep in!
We are trying to do more Tummy/Bumbo time with Evan. He is getting a flat head definitely--We go back to the Doctor on March 4th...will definitely talk to the Dr. about it. I''m getting paranoid that he will need a helmet--even though it''s not that bad...just getting paranoid!
Also on March 4th we get to discuss solid foods with the Dr.! I can''t believe he will be 4 months then! I read that you should introduce the foods early morning/afternoon incase of blow out diapers. We work...so should we only introduce on the weekends when I''m off? Wouldn''t this make the process last FOREVER? I think Fiery had this question a while back---can''t remember the responses though!
Ha! Just looked over at Evan, who I had on the floor for Tummy Time, he is completely passed out! Gotta love it.
ChinaCat
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Quick drop in-
Mandarine- DH snores AND my dog snores. When O was getting up in the middle of the night I could never go back to sleep b/c of all the snoring. It royally p*ss*d me off. He''s sweet about it and will turn over if shoved, but it''s like the last thing you feel you should deal with after all the baby stuff. What''s up with the swaddling????
Fiery- Sophia looks like such a grown-up!
Nooooooo. Stay little Sophia! O doesn''t grab his hair, but he sort of pats his head when nursing. Or he grabs my sweatshirt lace and puuuullls on it. So I guess he has mental issues as well? Your MIL cracks me up. Too bad you don''t do stand up, you have some great stories.
Viz- Comfortable is so relative, as you know. I will be honest and say that we could easily "comfortably" live on DH''s salary by most people''s standards, but I don''t think *we* would be happy/comfortable. We both make good money as it is and still struggle with doing what we want (furnishing our house, vacations, dinners out, etc.) and saving what we want. Of course we COULD cut a lot of that out, but it''s sort of saving our sanity right now. It really helps us that we can pay a baby-sitter and go out to dinner once a week, more for our "me" time than anything else. For me, the problem is I make too much money right now to quit. I think if DH made way more than me and my salary didn''t do more than pay the nanny, it might be an option. But it really wouldn''t make sense financially for me to stop working right now- we can quickly pay off our student loans and keep saving which really really help with O''s education and stuff later. But if I HATED my job we could make it work on DH''s salary alone. Also, his is going up up up while mine is staying stagnant, so we''ll see if my answer changes when there is a bigger discrepancy. You know the only real answer here is what YOU can comfortably do. I totally understand the question and where you''re coming from but you have to be honest with yourself and what *you* can live with.
PHX- Yes, it seems well documented on this thread that mommy goes to work = baby waking up at night to eat again. Fiery and I have mentioned this quite a few times. It''s frustrating but eventually they figure it out again. Once I gave up "expecting" him to not wake up, it got easier. I started to sort of enjoy our one hour together and miss it when he doesn''t do it.
RE: Husbands. It gets better but I think the toll it takes on relationships is one of the hardest things about new mommyhood, and also no one really tells you ahead of time. I was so annoyed/frustrated/resentful of DH for so many things at first and in perspective, he was actually very sweet and helpful. But your hormones are so out of whack and their lives don''t seem to change as much as ours and it''s easy to take it out on them, because they are supposed to love you no matter what, right?
It''s sooo much better now and we are truly enjoying each other''s company again. Give it time. But try to remember why you married him. Oh, and also, I found DH responds sooo much better if I am nice to him instead of mean. The nicer I am, the more helpful he is. But it was very hard to be nice to him when I wanted to throw things at him.
Mandarine- DH snores AND my dog snores. When O was getting up in the middle of the night I could never go back to sleep b/c of all the snoring. It royally p*ss*d me off. He''s sweet about it and will turn over if shoved, but it''s like the last thing you feel you should deal with after all the baby stuff. What''s up with the swaddling????
Fiery- Sophia looks like such a grown-up!
Viz- Comfortable is so relative, as you know. I will be honest and say that we could easily "comfortably" live on DH''s salary by most people''s standards, but I don''t think *we* would be happy/comfortable. We both make good money as it is and still struggle with doing what we want (furnishing our house, vacations, dinners out, etc.) and saving what we want. Of course we COULD cut a lot of that out, but it''s sort of saving our sanity right now. It really helps us that we can pay a baby-sitter and go out to dinner once a week, more for our "me" time than anything else. For me, the problem is I make too much money right now to quit. I think if DH made way more than me and my salary didn''t do more than pay the nanny, it might be an option. But it really wouldn''t make sense financially for me to stop working right now- we can quickly pay off our student loans and keep saving which really really help with O''s education and stuff later. But if I HATED my job we could make it work on DH''s salary alone. Also, his is going up up up while mine is staying stagnant, so we''ll see if my answer changes when there is a bigger discrepancy. You know the only real answer here is what YOU can comfortably do. I totally understand the question and where you''re coming from but you have to be honest with yourself and what *you* can live with.
PHX- Yes, it seems well documented on this thread that mommy goes to work = baby waking up at night to eat again. Fiery and I have mentioned this quite a few times. It''s frustrating but eventually they figure it out again. Once I gave up "expecting" him to not wake up, it got easier. I started to sort of enjoy our one hour together and miss it when he doesn''t do it.
RE: Husbands. It gets better but I think the toll it takes on relationships is one of the hardest things about new mommyhood, and also no one really tells you ahead of time. I was so annoyed/frustrated/resentful of DH for so many things at first and in perspective, he was actually very sweet and helpful. But your hormones are so out of whack and their lives don''t seem to change as much as ours and it''s easy to take it out on them, because they are supposed to love you no matter what, right?
cdt1101
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Fiery - love the pic of Sophia
Sorry to hear about DH issues, I''m very fortunate that my DH helps a ton, but we have our issues. He tends to be very critical when I make a mistake...like if Lex falls and hits his head when I''m sitting right there (happened today actually). It really bothers me because he acts like accidents never happen
Lex is a handful, and without losing my mind, I just cannot have a hand on him every.single.second. So yeah, we have our fights for sure.
Viz - It definitely depends on where you live and what your spending habits are. My DH alone makes more than 100K (and I make close to), but we live right outside of NYC so cost of living is super high. We''d be a little tight on DH''s salary alone here. Our other issue is that we are not frugal people at all. We enjoy buying things for ourselves and Lex, w/out a second thought. It''s going to be quite an adjustment when I lose my job this summer
But like you, material things are not *that* important to me anymore. My DH however is more reluctant to give up our current lifestyle. He''s currently on board to temporary give it a go so that I can take some time to spend w/ Lex, but I will have to return to work sooner rather than later.
We were all home today because of the snow storm. Nice to have Wednesday off
Sorry to hear about DH issues, I''m very fortunate that my DH helps a ton, but we have our issues. He tends to be very critical when I make a mistake...like if Lex falls and hits his head when I''m sitting right there (happened today actually). It really bothers me because he acts like accidents never happen
Viz - It definitely depends on where you live and what your spending habits are. My DH alone makes more than 100K (and I make close to), but we live right outside of NYC so cost of living is super high. We''d be a little tight on DH''s salary alone here. Our other issue is that we are not frugal people at all. We enjoy buying things for ourselves and Lex, w/out a second thought. It''s going to be quite an adjustment when I lose my job this summer
We were all home today because of the snow storm. Nice to have Wednesday off
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
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Thank you all again for chimming in on the husbands!. At least I know I;m not alone!
Sunkist I agree with the others...daddy boot camp is right in your house and the trainer is called Wes
. I know it''s hard to just leave them, but you have to do it....then, when you get back, tell him what a wonderful job he did (even if the kiddo has a dirty diaper and spit up all over his PJs).
CC Sounds like you get exactly what I''m saying regarding snoring. It didn''t used to botehr me so much because once I fell slepp I was fine...but now that I''m up several times a night, it''s so hard!. He is good about getting on his side when I poke him (when I poke him HARD because on top of everything he''s a deep sleeper!).
And I agree...why did nobody warn me about how difficult marriage would become once the babies arrived. Sure, I knew the babies would be tough..and I knew I would be tired and there may be some communication gaps...but I had no idea about how everything gets turned upside down...intimacy, communication, etc....it''s just really hard.
Tao If they weren''t getting too big for the swaddles I would contibue. I just get freaked out because I have found them with fabric in their faces as they''re breaking from it.
Sorry to hear about the falt head....I''m very paranoid now. I have found they really like "talking" to each other when they do tummy time in their boppies. They can last like 15 minutes...where as in the floor they last like 2 minutes!. I also (sometimes) play a kids tv show and let them watch it from their boppies.
Viz I think the $$ thing really depends on your standards. I agree with China...we could live very well on DH''s salary...but for us it is important to have both incomes (even though mine would be slashed by half now that I''ll go back part time).
Swaddling...I swear...if I ever have another baby, I would never swaddle him/her!....EVER!. I''ve created two monsters
. I will keep trying tomorrow (with the naps). I think if they took the pacifiers it would be easier, but they hate the pacis (and don''t suck on their hands either). I feel so bad for the little guys. Today they just didn''t really nap much. Poor Alex had circles under his eyes!! (no joke!). I already put them through this one day so now I feel like I need to keep going and try tomorrow again. Babies are all about consistency...so if I give up now then they suffered today in vain. They say it takes 3 days to break a habit...I sure hope so!!!
**
Anyhoodles...having a glass of wine now. What a day!
Sunkist I agree with the others...daddy boot camp is right in your house and the trainer is called Wes
CC Sounds like you get exactly what I''m saying regarding snoring. It didn''t used to botehr me so much because once I fell slepp I was fine...but now that I''m up several times a night, it''s so hard!. He is good about getting on his side when I poke him (when I poke him HARD because on top of everything he''s a deep sleeper!).
And I agree...why did nobody warn me about how difficult marriage would become once the babies arrived. Sure, I knew the babies would be tough..and I knew I would be tired and there may be some communication gaps...but I had no idea about how everything gets turned upside down...intimacy, communication, etc....it''s just really hard.
Tao If they weren''t getting too big for the swaddles I would contibue. I just get freaked out because I have found them with fabric in their faces as they''re breaking from it.
Sorry to hear about the falt head....I''m very paranoid now. I have found they really like "talking" to each other when they do tummy time in their boppies. They can last like 15 minutes...where as in the floor they last like 2 minutes!. I also (sometimes) play a kids tv show and let them watch it from their boppies.
Viz I think the $$ thing really depends on your standards. I agree with China...we could live very well on DH''s salary...but for us it is important to have both incomes (even though mine would be slashed by half now that I''ll go back part time).
Swaddling...I swear...if I ever have another baby, I would never swaddle him/her!....EVER!. I''ve created two monsters
**
Anyhoodles...having a glass of wine now. What a day!
taovandel
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Sabine
Ideal_Rock
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Mandy, enjoy the glass of wine! I''ve also said that I would not swaddle again, but then I remember that ds had colic and how much the swaddling helped with that, and I don''t know which is worse, dealing with colic or dealing with breaking the swaddle. We had the same issue of Jacks wanting to suck on his hands to soothe, but couldn''t sleep unswaddled. I ended up waiting to deswaddle till we sleep trained, and then we just went cold turkey. Are your guys close to rolling? Maybe try to stick it out till they roll, and then hope they''ll sleep better unswaddled on their bellies?
Re, dh''s...mine was interesting...being a dr., he definitely knew more about physically taking care of ds than me, and at first I really thought he was better at it. He''s always been comfortable staying with him. But now that ds is older, dh is so removed from our daily routine that although he is still good taking care of him, he doesn''t really know what to do when and needs detailed instructions.
Viz, I can honestly say that I have no idea how much dh makes per year...it''s weird with the military...we get so many "allowances" like housing in addition to his salary,and we just got his tax statement, but only some of the income is taxable, so there''s no real total. I guess I can share specifically that his paychecks come out to about $5000 a month, and that is enough for us to live comfortably for us. We''ve never gotten used to living extravagantly because we went from poor college students to living off my teacher''s salary while he was in med. school, but we are more comfortable now than we ever were. For us, we don''t own a house, make slightly more than minimum payments on student/car loans, can go out to eat once a week without thinking twice about it, don''t stress too much about groceries (but still try to keep within a "norm"), and are building a bit of a savings.
So Jacks has been insanely giggly lately, and I LOVE it! He''ll get in these moods where he''ll laugh at nothing and everything for an hour or so, and if you do something to try to make him laugh like tickle him or make silly noises, he goes crazy with laughing. It''s soooo cute!
Re, dh''s...mine was interesting...being a dr., he definitely knew more about physically taking care of ds than me, and at first I really thought he was better at it. He''s always been comfortable staying with him. But now that ds is older, dh is so removed from our daily routine that although he is still good taking care of him, he doesn''t really know what to do when and needs detailed instructions.
Viz, I can honestly say that I have no idea how much dh makes per year...it''s weird with the military...we get so many "allowances" like housing in addition to his salary,and we just got his tax statement, but only some of the income is taxable, so there''s no real total. I guess I can share specifically that his paychecks come out to about $5000 a month, and that is enough for us to live comfortably for us. We''ve never gotten used to living extravagantly because we went from poor college students to living off my teacher''s salary while he was in med. school, but we are more comfortable now than we ever were. For us, we don''t own a house, make slightly more than minimum payments on student/car loans, can go out to eat once a week without thinking twice about it, don''t stress too much about groceries (but still try to keep within a "norm"), and are building a bit of a savings.
So Jacks has been insanely giggly lately, and I LOVE it! He''ll get in these moods where he''ll laugh at nothing and everything for an hour or so, and if you do something to try to make him laugh like tickle him or make silly noises, he goes crazy with laughing. It''s soooo cute!
qtiekiki
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Viz
Depends on what you consider comfortable. We''ve lived on DH''s income for a year (6 months of which was before our wedding and we were still saving for it). We didn''t get to eat out much, but enough to pay for mortgage, all household bills, other not-so-necessity things (like cable, cell phones, etc) and save enough to pay for our wedding. Of course, there was no kids involved then and no car payments. We can probably still live on DH''s salary now, but I really don''t want to have to sacrifice some of the luxuries, like dining out, traveling and buying things on a whim. And I am not just thinking of ourselves, but also for the kids to experience things and travel. Growing up, DH and I didn''t get do a lot of those things, and I think that would make our kids more well-rounded. On the other hand, if DH made more money and can afford all those things, then I would definitely be a SAHM.
Fiery
Can''t believe your MIL said that. Meena pulls on her hair, and she had managed to pull a piece of here and there. I told her to stop, so she won''t be bald (considering she has very little hair for a 18 months old girl). She doesn''t care. LOL.
Issues with DHs
Sorry so many of you are having issues with your DHs. Since some of your LO are still fairly young, your DHs will probably come around. DH didn''t really interact well with Meena until she was older and more responsive to him. He is great with her now.
Steph
Glad Evan''s weight is up, and you can decrease formula.
Depends on what you consider comfortable. We''ve lived on DH''s income for a year (6 months of which was before our wedding and we were still saving for it). We didn''t get to eat out much, but enough to pay for mortgage, all household bills, other not-so-necessity things (like cable, cell phones, etc) and save enough to pay for our wedding. Of course, there was no kids involved then and no car payments. We can probably still live on DH''s salary now, but I really don''t want to have to sacrifice some of the luxuries, like dining out, traveling and buying things on a whim. And I am not just thinking of ourselves, but also for the kids to experience things and travel. Growing up, DH and I didn''t get do a lot of those things, and I think that would make our kids more well-rounded. On the other hand, if DH made more money and can afford all those things, then I would definitely be a SAHM.
Fiery
Can''t believe your MIL said that. Meena pulls on her hair, and she had managed to pull a piece of here and there. I told her to stop, so she won''t be bald (considering she has very little hair for a 18 months old girl). She doesn''t care. LOL.
Issues with DHs
Sorry so many of you are having issues with your DHs. Since some of your LO are still fairly young, your DHs will probably come around. DH didn''t really interact well with Meena until she was older and more responsive to him. He is great with her now.
Steph
Glad Evan''s weight is up, and you can decrease formula.
fieryred33143
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Mandy-Sorry if you posted this earlier but is there a reason why you are trying to break them of the swaddle?
Sophia was swaddled until 3 months (or around there, my mind gets foggy with every passing day...I swear I''m going to end up being one of those moms whose baby STTN at 7 weeks because I can''t remember what she really did lol!).
Anyway...when she first started showing sings that she didn''t want to be swaddled, we tried removing it. Big.Fat.Fail. I think she was ready to be free of it but wasn''t ready to have free range of her arms and feet. It was a disaster. What we did instead was that we left one arm out. When we would put her down, the arm would go crazy and I''d make sure she didn''t hit herself in the face because that would wake her up. Actually what I would do is create sort of a little bubble with my hands around her arm so that I wasn''t touching her but when her arm went flinging around, it wouldn''t pass that bubble (if that makes any sense at all). Then when I would leave her with that one arm out and when I noticed that she had her other arm sticking out, I''d very carefully take it out without waking her up.
We tried again a few weeks later when she just wasn''t having it anymore and did cold turkey. We never looked back. She was just officially done.
So I think that if you feel they aren''t really ready to handle not being swaddled, then let them stay swaddled until they are totally over it.
Sophia was swaddled until 3 months (or around there, my mind gets foggy with every passing day...I swear I''m going to end up being one of those moms whose baby STTN at 7 weeks because I can''t remember what she really did lol!).
Anyway...when she first started showing sings that she didn''t want to be swaddled, we tried removing it. Big.Fat.Fail. I think she was ready to be free of it but wasn''t ready to have free range of her arms and feet. It was a disaster. What we did instead was that we left one arm out. When we would put her down, the arm would go crazy and I''d make sure she didn''t hit herself in the face because that would wake her up. Actually what I would do is create sort of a little bubble with my hands around her arm so that I wasn''t touching her but when her arm went flinging around, it wouldn''t pass that bubble (if that makes any sense at all). Then when I would leave her with that one arm out and when I noticed that she had her other arm sticking out, I''d very carefully take it out without waking her up.
We tried again a few weeks later when she just wasn''t having it anymore and did cold turkey. We never looked back. She was just officially done.
So I think that if you feel they aren''t really ready to handle not being swaddled, then let them stay swaddled until they are totally over it.
phoenixgirl
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Swaddling . . . yeah, I have no advice. If Claire needs a little help falling asleep, I rub her head and whisper/sing a little. Sometimes it helps if I sit in the chair so she knows she''s not alone but can''t get distracted by looking at me. Breaking her of the swaddle wasn''t hard, though, because she does like the pacifier and sucks on her hands.
The funny thing is that we broke her of the habit mostly because it was really easy and she put up no fuss, but also partly because we didn''t want her to need this prop when she started daycare. Well, it turns out the daycare workers swaddle all the babies up to 6 months. Somehow the teacher can take this measly little blanket that I could never swaddle a hamster in, and she rolls Claire up like a burrito. It even goes around Claire''s head. I don''t know how she does it.
The funny thing is that we broke her of the habit mostly because it was really easy and she put up no fuss, but also partly because we didn''t want her to need this prop when she started daycare. Well, it turns out the daycare workers swaddle all the babies up to 6 months. Somehow the teacher can take this measly little blanket that I could never swaddle a hamster in, and she rolls Claire up like a burrito. It even goes around Claire''s head. I don''t know how she does it.
mela lu
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Dreamer_D
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Mandy I meant to say... EARPLUGS! I have been wearing them ever since Hunter was a couple months old. DH snores... sometimes, not all the time, but enough, and I am a light sleeper. I wear earplugs and do not turn on the monitor, just keep the door open, and I would still hear HUnter the second he made a peep! Or else DH would wake me when he was crying. Works great! I still wear them every night.
Viz We live in an area where housing is expensive. We earn much more than the national average but still I feel like we don''t have a tonne of extras. I mean, the mortgage is $2100 a month and daycare is $1000 a month. Those two things alone are more than the average household take home income monthly
Anyways, we could live less expensively. We could use a home daycare and we could have bought a smaller house or a condo, or rented, though it would not have saved us much in our market. As it is now, we could scrape by on my income and live an ok lifestyle, but it would be pretty tight. And we could not live on DH''s income -- well, if we had to we could, but it would not be fun times. My DH complains all the time about wanting to have more money and I always remind him that we are actually, based on national averages, very well off. We just choose to try and live within our means and apply a large portion of our income to paying off the debt we carry from buying our house (closing costs etc), rather than live on the high hog. We will live tighter like this for probably 2-4 more years, depending on my salary increases (which are steep pre-tenure). I am not looking forward to what it will be like with 2 kids in daycare
Viz We live in an area where housing is expensive. We earn much more than the national average but still I feel like we don''t have a tonne of extras. I mean, the mortgage is $2100 a month and daycare is $1000 a month. Those two things alone are more than the average household take home income monthly
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 27,129
To be comfortable you would need more than 100k where I am -- owning own house, money for daycare and savings, money to have some fun and blingDate: 2/10/2010 2:14:46 PM
Author: vizsla
i''ll give you a for instance:where i live (a hip, young, family friendly, walkable part of town, close to the city center with EXCELLENT schools and nightlife, and it''s own cute little downtown) a house will cost anywhere from $200K (small fixer upper) to 1 million. i live in the small fixer (DH is a finish carpenter/remodeler - phew!) however, our taxes are quite high, at approx $2500 per $100,000. i would say our monthly expenses are average: student loans (for me), car payments (nothing fancy), savings etc. i think we could live ''comfortable'' on $100K/year. does this seem high? low? to you all... i''m just curious what things are like in other parts of the US/world.
Mara
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2002
- Messages
- 31,003
viz...we live in a very expensive area, 2nd most expensive after NYC atually. it's hard to live on one salary here, but some people can do it albeit rarely comfortably. we make a lot of money by most people's standards, but our mortgage is extremely high as well so it all is just basically offset. we save per month, but it's never what we'd really like to save. we did have a hedonistic lifestyle before kiddo came. we have talked about me staying home rather than returning to work, but i make about 70% of what greg does so it is a huge part of our household income. to take what i make out of the mix would stress us too much and we'd go from 'quite comfortable' to 'not comfortable at all'. our mortgage is 55% of what greg brings home solo. but combined our mortgage is 30% of our take home, a much different picture.
i feel your pain about returning to work and also taking a different and more challenging job. it's so tempting from a career perspective, but the mom thing is a mental conflict. i would actually like to contract or work part time and that would make us 'comfortable', but i have a great job and they pay me extremely well for what i do. i am hoping that i can do 2 days at home when i return, i will def do one, but am hoping to move to two. for now i am just going to enjoy the time i have with the boy at home and think about it later.
mand... greg turns on his side when i poke him too...so funny. hope you get better nights of sleep soon. also did i miss what is wrong with the swaddling? they fight it?
re: husbands...i know i am extremely lucky in that greg is super hands on and he loves being involved. i wasn't too sure what to expect but he is pretty much 50/50 with everything so far, and he is taking really good care of me. he has another 1.5 weeks at home with us and i will really miss him when he goes back to work...everything during the day will fall to me and i'll be alone all day. i know we can do a few 'transitional' weeks where he comes home early a few days and maybe can do a few 1/2 days from home but after that it's all me. i just try not to think about it though, we still have another 1.5 weeks for me to build more confidence.
re: breast feeding...RPS i have a Q if you are reading this. we went to the LC again today and she easily got him to take my boob without the shield. we started with shield on right boob and then took it off 5 min in when he was latched well. she just squeezed the boob and fed it to him and he took it and fed for 7 mins. with the shield in 5 min he got 1/2oz and without in 7 min he got 1.5oz. such a piggy! anyway we tried to give him left boob and he was already almost comatose so he just comfort sucked on it for a while then passed out. when we got home he napped and then when he woke, i tried to give him left boob the way she did, with and without shield and he just was not having it without shield at all. what could we be doing differently? i even tried right boob (the one he likes better) with shield, again...sucked fine for 5-10 min and then i took it off (quickly even without him really noticing) and fed him natural nipple and he sucks for a few times and then starts screaming up a blue streak. i put shield back on after a 30 sec of him shaking head and not taking nipple, and he feeds off shield for 10 min! honestly i don't really CARE about using the shield or not as long as he feeds, but the LC checked his mouth, his bite, his grip, his latch, my nipple etc and she said there is no technical reason he shouldn't take the nipple naturally. any tips on how we can get him to take the natural nipple? and why would he take it today for her but now when we got home? just a fluke? should we just keep trying?
oh and does anyone have tips for how to keep your nipples from turning into hamburger meat while learning how to bf? i have the lanolin creme from lanisoh which helps but for whatever reason my left nipple is just really painfully sore esp when we try to feed him with the shield.
re: flat heads, does anyone put their LO's on their sides? or propped up at all? my girlfriend who has 2 kids was saying she did the rolled diaper under the body just slightly so that the baby is not TOTALLY on their back but not quite on their sides to sleep during the day. i am just paranoid about him flopping over on his face or something.
re: swaddling, does anyone else's swaddle put a lot of fabric near their faces? J also likes nesting in and sucking on his hands/mitts, which at least belong to him so he can pull them away from his mouth or nose, but i am paranoid about the swaddle combined with the hands nested by the face potentially causing a breathing hazard...sometimes he pulls a hand out of his tight swaddle in the middle of the night (he is a little arm wrestler). so we have been doing more loose swaddles farther down his body that leave his arms still in yet folded at the elbows and hands out, but no fabric near his face, this seems our best option.
lastly, did anyone use a meshy-type sleep positioner in the first few weeks? we find he doesn't really like being on his back in a little exposed burrito swaddle, but if we put the sleep positioner down by his shoulders then he feels more 'nestled' in on the sides. and it's not near his face, but his shoulders. i figure we won't use it for very long as it's not very wide, made for newborns.
thanks for any tips. this new mom stuff makes you paranoid!
i feel your pain about returning to work and also taking a different and more challenging job. it's so tempting from a career perspective, but the mom thing is a mental conflict. i would actually like to contract or work part time and that would make us 'comfortable', but i have a great job and they pay me extremely well for what i do. i am hoping that i can do 2 days at home when i return, i will def do one, but am hoping to move to two. for now i am just going to enjoy the time i have with the boy at home and think about it later.
mand... greg turns on his side when i poke him too...so funny. hope you get better nights of sleep soon. also did i miss what is wrong with the swaddling? they fight it?
re: husbands...i know i am extremely lucky in that greg is super hands on and he loves being involved. i wasn't too sure what to expect but he is pretty much 50/50 with everything so far, and he is taking really good care of me. he has another 1.5 weeks at home with us and i will really miss him when he goes back to work...everything during the day will fall to me and i'll be alone all day. i know we can do a few 'transitional' weeks where he comes home early a few days and maybe can do a few 1/2 days from home but after that it's all me. i just try not to think about it though, we still have another 1.5 weeks for me to build more confidence.
re: breast feeding...RPS i have a Q if you are reading this. we went to the LC again today and she easily got him to take my boob without the shield. we started with shield on right boob and then took it off 5 min in when he was latched well. she just squeezed the boob and fed it to him and he took it and fed for 7 mins. with the shield in 5 min he got 1/2oz and without in 7 min he got 1.5oz. such a piggy! anyway we tried to give him left boob and he was already almost comatose so he just comfort sucked on it for a while then passed out. when we got home he napped and then when he woke, i tried to give him left boob the way she did, with and without shield and he just was not having it without shield at all. what could we be doing differently? i even tried right boob (the one he likes better) with shield, again...sucked fine for 5-10 min and then i took it off (quickly even without him really noticing) and fed him natural nipple and he sucks for a few times and then starts screaming up a blue streak. i put shield back on after a 30 sec of him shaking head and not taking nipple, and he feeds off shield for 10 min! honestly i don't really CARE about using the shield or not as long as he feeds, but the LC checked his mouth, his bite, his grip, his latch, my nipple etc and she said there is no technical reason he shouldn't take the nipple naturally. any tips on how we can get him to take the natural nipple? and why would he take it today for her but now when we got home? just a fluke? should we just keep trying?
oh and does anyone have tips for how to keep your nipples from turning into hamburger meat while learning how to bf? i have the lanolin creme from lanisoh which helps but for whatever reason my left nipple is just really painfully sore esp when we try to feed him with the shield.
re: flat heads, does anyone put their LO's on their sides? or propped up at all? my girlfriend who has 2 kids was saying she did the rolled diaper under the body just slightly so that the baby is not TOTALLY on their back but not quite on their sides to sleep during the day. i am just paranoid about him flopping over on his face or something.
re: swaddling, does anyone else's swaddle put a lot of fabric near their faces? J also likes nesting in and sucking on his hands/mitts, which at least belong to him so he can pull them away from his mouth or nose, but i am paranoid about the swaddle combined with the hands nested by the face potentially causing a breathing hazard...sometimes he pulls a hand out of his tight swaddle in the middle of the night (he is a little arm wrestler). so we have been doing more loose swaddles farther down his body that leave his arms still in yet folded at the elbows and hands out, but no fabric near his face, this seems our best option.
lastly, did anyone use a meshy-type sleep positioner in the first few weeks? we find he doesn't really like being on his back in a little exposed burrito swaddle, but if we put the sleep positioner down by his shoulders then he feels more 'nestled' in on the sides. and it's not near his face, but his shoulders. i figure we won't use it for very long as it's not very wide, made for newborns.
thanks for any tips. this new mom stuff makes you paranoid!
sunkist
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2005
- Messages
- 2,964
Ok, I'm going to schedule our own Daddy-Bootcamp right here at home on Saturday! Then Im going to go out shopping
heehee. I think you guys are right. I need to leave for more than one hour at a time. He'll get it, I know he can. I also have all this breastmilk Im pumping, maybe Wes will take it if Im out of the house.
Mandy - re: swaddles, are you just trying to de-swaddle cause they are out growing the swaddle?? Or I guess you said that it sometimes covers thier faces too. What are you swaddling with? I went ahead and got the Woombie cause Wes wouldnt be able to get out of it, but he really doesnt like his arms in there, so I use the Woombie up to his torso and wrap his arms down with a blanket.He hasnt escaped from it as much as a normal swaddle.
Tao, too bad E only laughs for DH and not you
Isnt it so fun to watch though! ( Wes has his next doc appt March 4 too! Things I need to ask about - his cradle cap- bugging me, flathead - not bad but a concern, & when can we stop Zantac?)
My hair is falling out in full force now! Argh! I have tons of hair, so I dont mind it doing what its gotta do, but couldnt it just all come out at once instead of it just keeping coming and coming and coming? How long does this last anyways?
Mandy - re: swaddles, are you just trying to de-swaddle cause they are out growing the swaddle?? Or I guess you said that it sometimes covers thier faces too. What are you swaddling with? I went ahead and got the Woombie cause Wes wouldnt be able to get out of it, but he really doesnt like his arms in there, so I use the Woombie up to his torso and wrap his arms down with a blanket.He hasnt escaped from it as much as a normal swaddle.
Tao, too bad E only laughs for DH and not you
My hair is falling out in full force now! Argh! I have tons of hair, so I dont mind it doing what its gotta do, but couldnt it just all come out at once instead of it just keeping coming and coming and coming? How long does this last anyways?
fieryred33143
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 18, 2008
- Messages
- 6,689
Sunkist-my hair stopped falling out 6months pp.
Mara,
Re: breastfeeding, with Sophia I had a lot of issues latching her to my left but the LC knew how to do it and it was always pain free. I just kept going back until it worked. I sometimes used soothies-gel like pads that you freeze and put on the nips.
A few pages back I posted a pic of Sophia and her sleep positioner. During the day (and if I was going to be awake) she napped on her side with her positioner. I loved our positioner and she did too. She liked feeling really snug. We actually had a harder time breaking her of the positioner than the swaddle.
As for the swaddle, that''s the reason why I loved swaddlemes. When she was a few weeks old, she wasn''t swaddled much. When she got a little older, she couldn''t control her movements and needed to be swaddled. We had the same issues of all the fabric in her face. Sometimes I''d go check on her and it would be covering her mouth and of course freak me out. So then I had to re-swaddle which would wake her up. Because the swaddlemes had velcro if she was squirming in it, I could hear it clearly and it would wake me up.
Anyway, that''s my swaddleme plug for the day lol
Mara,
Re: breastfeeding, with Sophia I had a lot of issues latching her to my left but the LC knew how to do it and it was always pain free. I just kept going back until it worked. I sometimes used soothies-gel like pads that you freeze and put on the nips.
A few pages back I posted a pic of Sophia and her sleep positioner. During the day (and if I was going to be awake) she napped on her side with her positioner. I loved our positioner and she did too. She liked feeling really snug. We actually had a harder time breaking her of the positioner than the swaddle.
As for the swaddle, that''s the reason why I loved swaddlemes. When she was a few weeks old, she wasn''t swaddled much. When she got a little older, she couldn''t control her movements and needed to be swaddled. We had the same issues of all the fabric in her face. Sometimes I''d go check on her and it would be covering her mouth and of course freak me out. So then I had to re-swaddle which would wake her up. Because the swaddlemes had velcro if she was squirming in it, I could hear it clearly and it would wake me up.
Anyway, that''s my swaddleme plug for the day lol
Hi mamas! I haven''t been around much and it would take me years to catch up but I wanted to reply here in case it''s helpful to Mara and anyone else with BFing pain:
When I was learning how to BF, my nipples were massacred and I learned from the LC that I was holding my breast wrong when I was nursing. I was using the thumb of the hand on the side she was nursing from to hold the nipple in place but as I was doing so I was pushing my breast in and away from her nose since I was afraid that I would suffocate her if I didn''t. By doing so, I was causing my nipple to tear. The LC assured me that it was okay for her nose to touch my breast as she ate - she said the baby will always choose breathing over eating if she were ever unable to breath while nursing. So I learned how to "feed"her my nipple with my fingers but then I would let go so that I wasn''t holding my breast in any way that would cause tearing as I had been doing before. This helped a lot and the tears healed relatively quickly.
With that being said though, I''m one of those people who doesn''t believe that "you''re doing it wrong" if it hurts. I am certain that I would have had nipple pain for a while even if I hadn''t been holding my breast as I was. Nipples are very sensitive and I think it''s pretty normal to have pain when they are suddenly being used 24/7. I was in significant pain for 6 weeks and it sucked. I cried a lot. It probably wouldn''t have lasted as long if I had been holding my breast correctly but in any case, I''m glad I stuck with it because in the end, nursing her has been an incredible joy. I don''t think it''s for everyone and if I hadn''t lost my job which meant I haven''t had to pump non-stop, I''m not sure that I would have lasted as long as I have (10.5 months as far).
Anyway, I hope this helps you Mara! and I hope your pain is relieved soon!
Mrs
rockpaperscissors67
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Messages
- 410
Mara, it''s hard for me to help with latch problems without being there, but I think a lot of what you''re dealing with is standard newborn stuff. It''s hard sometimes because it''s not just one person learning to nurse, it''s two, and those two have to learn to work together.
Make sure that you''re bringing the baby to breast rather than the other way around. See if you can hold your breast with one hand in a C hold -- so your thumb is on top and the fingers are on bottom and the curve between thumb and fingers looks like a C, tickle Julian''s upper lip with the nipple then quickly pull him onto the breast when you see his mouth open wide. You shouldn''t be really squeezing your breast, you just want to support it and maybe compress the areola area a teeny bit to make it more oval than round.
It may be easier to do this while using the either the football or cross cradle hold because you can control his head much better so you can provide stability for him. The cradle hold is usually what we imagine when we think about breastfeeding, but it really works best for older babies since the crook of your elbow allows a bit too much freedom for newborn''s jerky head movements.
The head shaking is pretty normal -- I think he''s just trying to latch on, but hasn''t quite figured it out. Ben does the same thing if I use the cradle hold (because I''m lazy like that), but if I change to the football hold and am supporting his head and neck, he''ll do the head shaking less often. This does go away as a baby gets stronger and also really has latching down.
Another thing you might try is working on getting him latched on without the shield before he''s really hungry. If he''s awake and it''s getting close to when you expect him to want to nurse again, go ahead and try latching him. It''s hard to work on latching problems when a baby is really hungry and crying because they get frustrated so fast.
As for the sore nipples, lanolin cream and the gel soothies are good. Make sure you''re allowing your nipples to dry before covering them back up, too, and keep clean nursing pads on if you''re using them. If it''s feasible, you could try exposing your nipples to sunlight for a few minutes -- just through a window is fine (although I know this can be difficult if you have no windows that afford you that privacy!). I think time and trying to get the best latch possible every single time are the two things that are best for sore nipples -- the baby will get much better at latching as he gets older and gains more control over his head.
I hope that helps. I know it can be *really* frustrating in the early days because this is supposed to come naturally, right?
About husbands and baby: I hate to hear about people struggling in their relationships after baby comes along because this *should* be one of the best times of your lives. Unfortunately, I have no advice because I think when you have a baby, the only thing you can do in the early days is survive. Having kids isn''t 100% wonderful and there will be other times when you and your spouse have to pull together...and sometimes you''ll do a good job of it and sometimes you won''t. I think the only thing that saves SO and me is that we''ve both been through this so many times that we know any disconnect we feel is temporary. Ben, by virtue of being the youngest and most vulnerable, comes first, then Will, then us. Our situation is probably a little bit different, though, since we both work at home so we''re together pretty much 24/7.
Viz, the area we live in is moderately expensive, and we''ve made some choices that keep our costs low while there are other things that we splurge on. I feel comfortable if our income is $150K+, BUT I have made do on a LOT less. We have little debt because we don''t own a house (yet). I have a credit card that has about $500 on it and that''s IT for me. Two of our cars are totally paid off, but we do have one car payment for the new Mustang. The biggest outlay we have is kid-related stuff -- $800 a month for day care for Will (will be $1600 once Ben goes too), child support for SO''s kids, activity fees for mine (horseback riding lessons, piano lessons and gymnastics). The second biggest outlay is food related -- when the weather is nice, we do go out to eat quite often because after work, I sometimes just do not feel like cooking. Since it''s nasty winter here, I''ve been cooking 90% of the time, so our grocery bill is sky high -- especially since the kids have been off school so they want to eat all day long!
Make sure that you''re bringing the baby to breast rather than the other way around. See if you can hold your breast with one hand in a C hold -- so your thumb is on top and the fingers are on bottom and the curve between thumb and fingers looks like a C, tickle Julian''s upper lip with the nipple then quickly pull him onto the breast when you see his mouth open wide. You shouldn''t be really squeezing your breast, you just want to support it and maybe compress the areola area a teeny bit to make it more oval than round.
It may be easier to do this while using the either the football or cross cradle hold because you can control his head much better so you can provide stability for him. The cradle hold is usually what we imagine when we think about breastfeeding, but it really works best for older babies since the crook of your elbow allows a bit too much freedom for newborn''s jerky head movements.
The head shaking is pretty normal -- I think he''s just trying to latch on, but hasn''t quite figured it out. Ben does the same thing if I use the cradle hold (because I''m lazy like that), but if I change to the football hold and am supporting his head and neck, he''ll do the head shaking less often. This does go away as a baby gets stronger and also really has latching down.
Another thing you might try is working on getting him latched on without the shield before he''s really hungry. If he''s awake and it''s getting close to when you expect him to want to nurse again, go ahead and try latching him. It''s hard to work on latching problems when a baby is really hungry and crying because they get frustrated so fast.
As for the sore nipples, lanolin cream and the gel soothies are good. Make sure you''re allowing your nipples to dry before covering them back up, too, and keep clean nursing pads on if you''re using them. If it''s feasible, you could try exposing your nipples to sunlight for a few minutes -- just through a window is fine (although I know this can be difficult if you have no windows that afford you that privacy!). I think time and trying to get the best latch possible every single time are the two things that are best for sore nipples -- the baby will get much better at latching as he gets older and gains more control over his head.
I hope that helps. I know it can be *really* frustrating in the early days because this is supposed to come naturally, right?
About husbands and baby: I hate to hear about people struggling in their relationships after baby comes along because this *should* be one of the best times of your lives. Unfortunately, I have no advice because I think when you have a baby, the only thing you can do in the early days is survive. Having kids isn''t 100% wonderful and there will be other times when you and your spouse have to pull together...and sometimes you''ll do a good job of it and sometimes you won''t. I think the only thing that saves SO and me is that we''ve both been through this so many times that we know any disconnect we feel is temporary. Ben, by virtue of being the youngest and most vulnerable, comes first, then Will, then us. Our situation is probably a little bit different, though, since we both work at home so we''re together pretty much 24/7.
Viz, the area we live in is moderately expensive, and we''ve made some choices that keep our costs low while there are other things that we splurge on. I feel comfortable if our income is $150K+, BUT I have made do on a LOT less. We have little debt because we don''t own a house (yet). I have a credit card that has about $500 on it and that''s IT for me. Two of our cars are totally paid off, but we do have one car payment for the new Mustang. The biggest outlay we have is kid-related stuff -- $800 a month for day care for Will (will be $1600 once Ben goes too), child support for SO''s kids, activity fees for mine (horseback riding lessons, piano lessons and gymnastics). The second biggest outlay is food related -- when the weather is nice, we do go out to eat quite often because after work, I sometimes just do not feel like cooking. Since it''s nasty winter here, I''ve been cooking 90% of the time, so our grocery bill is sky high -- especially since the kids have been off school so they want to eat all day long!
steph72276
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2005
- Messages
- 4,212
RPS, Mara, QT and any other brand new moms or others that can remember when your little ones were first born: How long do you typically nurse each time and how often in between feedings do you go? When I was supplementing with formula, I nursed for about 10 mins on each side and then gave him about an ounce to and ounce and a half of formula. Now that we are trying to ween off of formula, I''m trying to up my nursing time, and he goes for about 30-40 minutes total but still screams and looks for the formula afterward. I am going to try to start pumping to have some backup in case he just is used to the bottle afterward, but I just wanted to see what works for you guys. Thanks!
fieryred33143
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 18, 2008
- Messages
- 6,689
I’m in a crappy mood today. I have seen Sophia (or rather she has seen me) for a total of 15 minutes in a 24 hour period. Last night I got home at 10pm from work and she was asleep. This morning I woke her up at 6:45, changed her diaper, gave her a bottle, gave lots of teary kisses, and handed her to FI so that he could take her to MILs.
Then I get an invite and “voluntold” to be at a Department Happy Hour. If I’m not at work, I want to be with Sophia but instead I’ll be in a bar not drinking
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2006
- Messages
- 3,786
Swaddling
Mara, I don''t like it because now they are swaddle junkies. I can see why they are helpful when your baby is colicky, but mine weren''t...so I think they may have been ok without a swaddle in the early days. Now they want to be un-swaddled but they don''t know how to sleep without it!. Weaning off the swaddle is just a pain...so I wish I never started!!!!!!
The swaddle mes are a joke to them (THEM!, I know they work for some babies!), they break free within seconds of them being one (always have)
Blanekts, same thing...and they ended up with fabric on their faces and that freaked me out...
That''s when I met the "miracle blanket". It was a miracle indeed! No breaking from those, but now they are so addicted
Why do I want to stop?
1) they outgrew the miracle blanket. I have been swaddling them with their legs out, but now they are so strong they even break out of those...pulling the fabric above their heads. These little guys are not so little at 15 lbs and 4 months!...they are also very strong!
2) They fight me every day when I try to swaddle them for naps...like they don''t want it. They don''t fight me at night, but they do cry during the day when I try to swaddle them.
3) They keep breaking free during the night and I think it''s waking them up.
4) If the habit is hard to break now, I can only imagine it will be tougher to break if we wait longer....
So that brings us to Day#2 of swaddle rehab. Took them 25 minutes to go down for the first nap...only to have mommy and daddy wake them up 15 minutes later since we had to take daddy to the airport! Poor guys!!!!
Ear Plugs
I''ve tried them, but I''m a side sleeper so they bother me!. I''ve tried like 3 different kinds. They also make my ears hurt
DH found a Dr (sleep specialist)...hopefully they can see him soon!!!
DH left on a skiing trip...so I''ll be snoring free for 4 nights!!!...and I''ll get to watch whatever I want on TV!!!
Mara, I don''t like it because now they are swaddle junkies. I can see why they are helpful when your baby is colicky, but mine weren''t...so I think they may have been ok without a swaddle in the early days. Now they want to be un-swaddled but they don''t know how to sleep without it!. Weaning off the swaddle is just a pain...so I wish I never started!!!!!!
The swaddle mes are a joke to them (THEM!, I know they work for some babies!), they break free within seconds of them being one (always have)
Blanekts, same thing...and they ended up with fabric on their faces and that freaked me out...
That''s when I met the "miracle blanket". It was a miracle indeed! No breaking from those, but now they are so addicted
Why do I want to stop?
1) they outgrew the miracle blanket. I have been swaddling them with their legs out, but now they are so strong they even break out of those...pulling the fabric above their heads. These little guys are not so little at 15 lbs and 4 months!...they are also very strong!
2) They fight me every day when I try to swaddle them for naps...like they don''t want it. They don''t fight me at night, but they do cry during the day when I try to swaddle them.
3) They keep breaking free during the night and I think it''s waking them up.
4) If the habit is hard to break now, I can only imagine it will be tougher to break if we wait longer....
So that brings us to Day#2 of swaddle rehab. Took them 25 minutes to go down for the first nap...only to have mommy and daddy wake them up 15 minutes later since we had to take daddy to the airport! Poor guys!!!!
Ear Plugs
I''ve tried them, but I''m a side sleeper so they bother me!. I''ve tried like 3 different kinds. They also make my ears hurt
DH found a Dr (sleep specialist)...hopefully they can see him soon!!!
DH left on a skiing trip...so I''ll be snoring free for 4 nights!!!...and I''ll get to watch whatever I want on TV!!!
sugarpie honeybun
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2010
- Messages
- 299
Mara - we''ve always put DS on his side and secured him in place by using two medium size towels, rolled and placed on each side of him (not near his face) and we slightly prop him, like your friend did with her LO, so he''s not fully on his side but just enough to lift his back a bit. Hopefully this makes sense.
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DS has his very first head cold. Woke up this morning with little snot bubbles coming out of his nose and a slight cough. Poor thing. He''s sleeping, eating, peeing/pooping fine and doesn''t have a fever, so we''re just going to monitor him for the next day or two. We suggested that our nanny rub some Little Noses Colds rub on his chest area and let the shower run and steam the bathroom. I just get paranoid that he''ll stop breathing if he''s THAT congested and still doesn''t know how to breathe through his mouth.
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 27,129
Steph, is he happy while he is sucking or pulling off a lot and crying? When Hunter was actually hungry after BFing, he was not a happy boy even on the breast because he was not getting as much milk as he wanted. I wonder if Evan wants to comfort suck for a long long time? But then, the formula shouldn''t satisfy him... hopefully the others can chime in.
steph72276
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2005
- Messages
- 4,212
DD, he is happy while nursing, but after we stop (after about 30 minutes or so) he is still searching like he is still hungry. He won''t go back to sleep either after just nursing. I give him about an ounce or so of formula, and he falls asleep immediately. I''m going to try to do without the formula during the day today....I was just too tired at 3 am to fight it and I knew he would fall back to sleep if I gave him a little bit....
vizsla
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Messages
- 1,015
thanks for everyone's comments on being 'comfortable' on one salary.
i'm feeling a bit under the weather today, so i don't have much energy to post about DH or the current status of my job
ugh, it's all so draining.
however, i did want to say something to mara about BF - i had a dickens of a time learning how to BF. and was always amazed at how easily the LC got C to latch, and how frustrating it was for me to do the same thing. one thing that worked for us was to keep charlie swaddled while i BF. i don't think he could concentrate on his suck AND his arms/legs at the same time. chances are your LC 'put' him on your boob. so having greg help guide his head and keeping it there until he latches may help as well.
ugh, off to get a 7up. this is like morning sickness all over again (and, um NO i'm not PG... no chance.... ok, not no chance no chance, but ... yeah, no chance)
ETA: mara did they show you how to 'biscuit' your nipple? that worked like a charm combined with the above mentioned to get c to latch w/out the shield. and YES, it hurts... J is breaking the connective tissue in your nipple so that he can draw it further into his mouth. it won't hurt forever, but it DOES hurt.
EETTAA: also neosporin worked AMAZING to heal my destroyed nipples AND you can also have your dr or midwife write you a prescription for jack newmans nipple cream - you will have to go to a compound pharmacy for this -- you can google it.. it's amazing... also, those gel pads actually trap the bacteria on your boob - no bueno.. take it from me, you don't want bacteria getting in your boob thru a cracked nipple... the best thing is neosporin/jack newmans and then nothing... don't put a shirt on or wear a big sweatshirt.. keep the air flow moving around your nipple.
ok, really... i'm going to put my head down now.
i'm feeling a bit under the weather today, so i don't have much energy to post about DH or the current status of my job
however, i did want to say something to mara about BF - i had a dickens of a time learning how to BF. and was always amazed at how easily the LC got C to latch, and how frustrating it was for me to do the same thing. one thing that worked for us was to keep charlie swaddled while i BF. i don't think he could concentrate on his suck AND his arms/legs at the same time. chances are your LC 'put' him on your boob. so having greg help guide his head and keeping it there until he latches may help as well.
ugh, off to get a 7up. this is like morning sickness all over again (and, um NO i'm not PG... no chance.... ok, not no chance no chance, but ... yeah, no chance)
ETA: mara did they show you how to 'biscuit' your nipple? that worked like a charm combined with the above mentioned to get c to latch w/out the shield. and YES, it hurts... J is breaking the connective tissue in your nipple so that he can draw it further into his mouth. it won't hurt forever, but it DOES hurt.
EETTAA: also neosporin worked AMAZING to heal my destroyed nipples AND you can also have your dr or midwife write you a prescription for jack newmans nipple cream - you will have to go to a compound pharmacy for this -- you can google it.. it's amazing... also, those gel pads actually trap the bacteria on your boob - no bueno.. take it from me, you don't want bacteria getting in your boob thru a cracked nipple... the best thing is neosporin/jack newmans and then nothing... don't put a shirt on or wear a big sweatshirt.. keep the air flow moving around your nipple.
ok, really... i'm going to put my head down now.
Mandarine
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2006
- Messages
- 3,786
steph72276
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2005
- Messages
- 4,212
MustangGal
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2004
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