PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Mara]

fiery...i think you need to have your FI speak to his mom. what does he say about all this stuff? does he just say oh thats mom or is he outraged at all ever? and why did it take your FI giving his mom the sound machine to have her do what you have been telling her for months?

i think that a lot of times parents/gparents/friends mean well but honestly like viz said...WHY people say some of the stuff they do is just ridiculous. stop before you speak, people. and delivery can be so important too. it's like... do you say that you think she's starving or do you say that she seems so much bigger today so do you think she should give her more food or something yanno?

THOUGH, i do think that parents have a natural defensiveness level that is hard to combat and even with the best of delivery, who knows what the response will be.

yesterday i was walking with my mom and J was doing his whole squirm in stroller and arching back and she is like 'oh he doesn't like the stroller'... 'oh he needs a blanket for his back...' oh this oh that. i was like mom he's fine he does this all the time. he will fall asleep soon. she kept hovering and checking and 10 min later yep he's sleeping. he's a BABY. not EVERYTHING he does has some hidden meaning!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/26/2010 1:23:33 PM
Author: vizsla
yeah TG - my sister bought us a bottle warmer and when i tested it out it took almost 4 mins to heat up the bottle, only held 2 bottles AND cost $99. so back to the store with that. then DH said, why don''t we just put them on the heating pad.... genius!
i was thinking about re-marketing heating pads as cheap-o alternative to bottle warmers... great.. i just outed my thousand $$ idea anyone want to go into business with me?

fiery - that sounds like a great solution! MIL will still get her sophia time and sophia will benefit from all of the interaction. are you thinking about finding a place close to work so the two of you can have lunch together? C is close to home (since DH does the drop off and pick up/works less hours than i do). he stops in a couple of times a week and give C kisses... ahhh wish i had his life ;P

also - here is the cleat system we have - there is NO WAY our picture is going anywhere with this sucker... but we went ahead and put little metal tabs anchors in the bottom JIC.

I got a bottle warmer has a hand me down from a friend and I loved it (because I made all of Amelia''s bottles upstairs in her room). But I agree...generally a waste of money.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/26/2010 1:38:37 PM
Author: Mara
fiery...i think you need to have your FI speak to his mom. what does he say about all this stuff? does he just say oh thats mom or is he outraged at all ever? and why did it take your FI giving his mom the sound machine to have her do what you have been telling her for months?

i think that a lot of times parents/gparents/friends mean well but honestly like viz said...WHY people say some of the stuff they do is just ridiculous. stop before you speak, people. and delivery can be so important too. it''s like... do you say that you think she''s starving or do you say that she seems so much bigger today so do you think she should give her more food or something yanno?

THOUGH, i do think that parents have a natural defensiveness level that is hard to combat and even with the best of delivery, who knows what the response will be.

Exactly what he''s saying now which upsets me even more. He''s asking me if I''m reading her tone correctly.

It''s not about tone, she''s asking me if I''m letting my child go to bed hungry. I know that his mom just spits things out without processing but he had a conversationg with her before about how it hurts my feelings when she says certain things. In one ear and out the other.

I haven''t talked to him further about it because it was upsetting me even more at work so I''ll talk to him later

 

[cdt1101]

hugs Fiery - You're a GREAT mom and your MIL is batsh*t crazy! Sorry, but the woman is a freakin NUT! I give you a LOT of credit for being able to put up w/ her. I hope you can talk to your FI and he will talk some sense into his mother (although from the stories you tell I doubt he'll have any effect even if he does talk to her). Sophia will be 1 soon and at least then you'll have a break somewhat (w/ daycare).


I was just having this conversation w/ a co-worker about the things people say to mothers, people REALLY do not stop to think before they open their piewholes

And one of the things I stuggle w/ the most as a worker mom, is daycare/nanny/family not doing things MY way. Even this weekend DH and I went out Saturday night, so our nanny "watched" Lex in the evening. I say "watched" because all she really had to do was put him to bed at 6:30 and then just sit and wait for us to come home. I gave her ONE rule, must.go.to.bed.at.6:30! What does she do..puts him to bed at 8:30

So we were left w/ a cranky-a** kid all day yesterday because he got 2 less hours of sleep than usual (he won't sleep in no matter the time he goes to bed....always up at 6:30). So freakin annoying!!! Like why can't it just be as simple as MY KID, MY RULES??????

 

[Mara]

...my kid, my rules....

DITTO!! it is frustrating to say the least.

 

[fieryred33143]

Thanks ladies. CDT-I know exactly what you mean.

The thing is that with MIL, I''ve learned to let a lot of things go. I put a lot of trust in her to take good care of Sophia and I only speak up when I see that she''s doing something that isn''t good for her. Even when she does do something that isn''t good for Sophia, I don''t lose trust in her. I just see it as it''s been a long time since she''s been around a baby, things have changed, and she needs to learn some things again. No big deal.

FI tells me that I''m being too sensitive and maybe I am. But what I''m trying to explain to him is that the same way I trust her with Sophia all day long, she needs to trust me with her because I AM HER MOTHER. Sophia is and always has been a very happy baby. If she feels that Sophia is unhappy or is being mistreated then it''s her right to speak up. But she''s basing her opinion off of me saying that she spent an hour laughing in her crib? What part of that screams starved child to her? I don''t get it.

Funny/creepy side note: My mom just called me to ask if I''m ok. I asked her if MIL called her or something and she said no but that she sensed something was up. Isn''t that creeptastic? LOL

Anyway, I told her what was going on and she laughed and said "esa mujer es una loca" (that woman is crazy) and told me that no new parent knows what to do 100% of the time. She didn''t know what to do with me and I''m now 27 and perfectly fine.

I responded with "mom, I''m 28"

 

[Mandarine]

20 minutes of screaming...............they are just SCREAMING. I have tried to soothe them but the only way they''re quiet is if I''m standing right there touching them.

Fiery OMG, she''s just nuts. What is it with MILs!!!. I told DH about what she said and he said he didn''t read it in that context...I''m not sure how else you read heartless mother!?. DH is usually great about calling her on things, but for some reason he didn''t think this was a big deal.

I can''t stand the screaming! I''m about to let them nap in my bed with me...but I know I''m probably just making it worse!...I''ve tried singing without touching them but they still get upset....

I know they''re tired

 

[cdt1101]

Fiery - I hope you weren''t offended w/ the comments I made about you MIL, I was just mad for you...sorry

I do a lot of what you said though about just letting things go. There are things that the nanny does that drives me NUTS, but I figure he''s happy and really likes her and nothing she''s doing is hurting him (like using the stroller to get him to nap..hate that!). As long as overall I feel she''s respecting what I want for my child then I''m OK w/ certain things. I think honestly if someone else is watching your child you have to let go of the control or you will lose your mind, that''s been really hard for me since I''m a MAJOR control freak.

 

[fieryred33143]

CDT-Not offended.at.all. The woman is beyond nuts lol!

Mandy-I unfortunately have zero tips

. When Sophia is being like that, I resort to rocking but I only have one baby. Hugs. I hope the boys go to sleep soon

 

[cdt1101]

Totally unrelated...but I''ve been meaning to mention the sippy cups that have worked GREAT for Lex. After a week of using these he''s a pro w/ a cup. They''re really small so he was able to pick them up w/ no problem. Even does 1 handed now and then (show off...hehehe). We''ve now moved up to the larger size and he''s only getting 1 bottle during the day now

Here''s the starter cup...they come in a pack of 7 too, and are super cheap.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793340


And now he drinks most of his milk out of these during the day.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793342

 

[cdt1101]

Mandy - Aw poor babies....times like that I say do what you have to do to get some peace! They are just having an off day and if they need to cuddle w/ mommy to feel better than I say do it.

 

[Mandarine]

I just don''t know if it''s an off day...or if it''s becoming habit. I have been letting them sleep more and more for naps outside their cribs because it''s such a fight...but it really is just getting out of hand.

Alex gave up at 35 minutes. I took Lucas out of the room and put him in the pack and play (because he kept waking Alex up) and now he''s crying there. Just got quiet as I was typing...and just started again.
I feel terrible...I just don''t know what the problem is.

I can''t rock them for their entire naps. I don''t mind the occasional co-napping (I love it actually)...but they should be able to go to sleep on their own too you know?.

Lately their naps are either in the stroller, or in the swing, or in the bed (with me) and the occasional crib nap. So of course they probably think crib naps suck. Who knows...maybe it IS just a phase or an off day...but I geuss isnce my silly MIL said this is because they''ve been sleeping too much on my bed, then now I got defensive and maybe she was a little right there (still no reason to call me heartless).

Ughhhh this is so hard!. I sent DH an email telling him what was going on and he says "what do the book say to do in a situation like this?".

REALLY? I replied that it depends what book you''re reading!

52 minutes. He''s quiet now.

The nap will probably last 20 minutes (their usual time). took him almost an hour to take a half hour nap.

Poor lil booger.

 

[vizsla]

mandy - i ditto cdt. C has gone back and forth w/ his sleeping so so so much AND i do revert to holding him when he is inconsolable.. always in the back of my mind i think (oh snap! i''m totally going backwards - he''s never going to ''learn'') but *I* have learned the great thing about babies is that since you have already laid the groundwork as far as where, when etc. they sleep - they should adjust back to the ''right'' way of doing things after this phase is over. KWIM?
i''m always so concerned about creating bad habits.. but if 75% of the time i''m doing the same thing - and i need to adjust 25% of the time for sanity or b/c i know he needs to sleep etc. - he seems to do just fine going back and forth.
could they have an ear infection or something else that is making them uncomfortable? c is an absolute tyrant when he lays down w/ an ear infection.

fiery - i don''t know how you do it week after week. you are one of the most caring, most loving, most sensible moms i know (and we''ve never met!). that comment was hurtful! i''m hurt for you b/c i know how much you love your daughter - live and breathe for her. to say that you are in someway harming her is beyond comprehension. i don''t know how you let these things roll off your back with such ease. i could learn a thing or two from you about letting things go - but that? oy vey! i''m sorry FI doesn''t think the same way as you do when it comes to his mom. that stinks!! you are totally justified to feel angry at what she said. do you need me to talk to her? (i keed i keed

) i don''t know another avenue you could take - talk to FIL? comments like that (and from any MIL/relative) are enough to drive a serious wedge in relationships.

i like my kids / my rules

 

[Mandarine]

I was wrong.
He napped for 19 minutes.
He cried for 52 minutes and napped for 19 minutes.
I''m just not doing something right

Too many naps? not enough naps? Phase? teething? heartless mother?

 

[vizsla]

GIRL!! you are doing EVERYTHING RIGHT!!! they are just having a wonky day.

please don''t be hard on yourself. there could be a million reasons they don''t want to nap today. none of which have anything to do with where they have been napping. all you can do is to keep giving them the tools to succeed. don''t doubt yourself - you are doing the absolute right thing!!!!!

i think you should take the boys on a trip to starbucks and get yourself a nice iced coffee! i swear you will feel much better!

 

[Mandarine]

aww, thanks Viz.

I think you are right and I could definitely use some coffee. It finally stopped raining so I may take them for a walk after they eat...and guess what they will probably do? take a nap in the stroller!...but they have to sleep somehow right?

 

[vizsla]

if that's where they sleep, then that's where they sleep

maybe they are having some sort of sensory thing going on right now?? and they like the movement in the stroller or the movement of your breath when you nap with them.

i read in some sleep book somewhere that the best thing we can do as parents is make an environment conducive to sleep - that sleep can not be forced upon a baby. so if they feel safe and comfortable in the stroller?? well, then that's the best you can do for them this week. who knows, next week they may want the peace and serenity of their cribs.

are they still sleeping at night for you??

p.s. i took my own advice and got myself a coffee however, i feel just the same and reallllllyyyyyyy want to goooooo hoooommmmmeeeeee

 

[Mandarine]

the nights are getting shorter...hehe.

Lucas has had a hard time going to sleep the last two nights so he''s been going between 8-9pm. Then waking up at like 4:30am (and then he goes to bed with me) only because I don''t want him to wake up Alex. If he was a singleton he would stay in his crib because I know he would go back to sleep after some chatter.

Alex woke up at like 5am, but then went back to sleep until 6:15 or so...

I think they''re just regressing overall.....

 

[Mara]

hey mandarine...you may have already tried this but just thinking, are the boys going down for their naps at the ''right time''..aka before they are too tired? its really hard for me to catch J at the right time, a lot of times its just a little too late and then he won''t go down easily at all. just a thought.

in any case, whatever you try, sorry it''s so hard..hugs.!! little cute troublemakers.

speaking of screaming, J is doing the same thing today as yesterday, just hanging out all normal and then all of a sudden it''s like instant massive meltdown. paci is hated, sitting with me doesn''t help. he just wants to eat...and after he eats he''s not even soothed for very long necessarily. i put him down for a nap after rocking didn''t work, and he screamed bloody murder for 5 min then fell asleep. poor thing. i assume he''s growing or teething but he hasn''t been doing the hand biting screaming at the same time thing like last nite so i assume it''s growing.

cdt i am a control freak too hahah. that''s why it''s so hard for me to just accept that my mom and sis will do things prob totally differently than me for 4 days. but yeah i agree, if you choose to have someone else watch the kid then you kind of have to realize that they will have their own way to do things.

fiery i hope MIL backs off or FI can get through to her or whatever. i think there are ways delivery can be a lot better BUT in certain cases for sure it won''t make a diff (aka asking if you are starving your kid lol). i always joke with my mom when she is like ''i think he''s hungry''... i''m like really? do you SEE the multiple rolls on his leg? hehee. hang in there.

 

[qtiekiki]

Kimberly
J was always put down in his PnP because we don''t have a swing or a bouncer or an infant seat. The only difference is that he sleeps longer stretch now. I didn''t do anything different, so I think he just got used to the PnP.

Sterilizing bottles
I only sterilized before first use, then just wash in hot soapy water.

fiery
Sorry that your MIL isn''t following your rules. Must be a grandma thing because MIL always says J is hungry when he cries. I am like I just fed him. I do let a lot of things go with MIL, as long as it''s harmless and not causing bad habits. I learned that over the past couple years that whatever MIL is doing doesn''t cause generalized bad habits, it only causes bad habits when M is around MIL. M knows who will let her get away with what. I am not saying that your MIL shouldn''t follow your rules, just that it may not be as bad as you think.

Mandy
Poor Mommy. Hope your boys will sleep on their own again soon.

 

[ChinaCat]

Mara- Sorry but I had a closed pump system and sterilized the parts. This last time I got it I haven't even pumped or nursed for a few weeks, so it's definitely not b/c of that (for me). BUT it's always a good thing to remember and tell new moms. Viz's ordeal was a huge wake-up call for me and I was a bit lax before that, but after hearing her story always made sure to clean everything. Of course I didn't get mastitis till way after!

For me it happened when I was trying to wean, which makes sense as you aren't "relieving" the milk as much so it gets clogged up. Well at least I think I was weaning. Maybe not the first time, but definitely the past 2 times. And have fun on your vacation!!! Just let it go, he will be well taken care of. AND even if they do stuff different, chances are it won't really affect J's patterns. My parents take care of him often enough, and they definitely do stuff differently, but it's like O "knows" that certain things fly with the grandparents but not with us. Occasionally he will get messed up with his naps or sleep patterns, but it usually only takes 1 night or 2 to undo. And actually he seems to do great with my parents, naps well, etc.


Fiery-

to your MIL for making you feel that way. You know you're a great mom so just try not to let her get to you. Hugs.

So O had his first fever yesterday/today.

Pretty sure it's teething. Poor little guy. He got up at 4 am, which wasn't as bad as I feared. I hated going to work today, but his fever down and nanny says he's playing, eating and napping normally.

Oh and Lysser, I know I need to post O pics, but I just haven't gotten around to uploading any to my computer. I didn't take a single picture at my sister's wedding (go figure) but O had the cutest outfit on so I'm waiting for someone to send me some.

ETA: Mandarine, how frustrating! I think they are just going through a phase and you should just do whatever you can to get through it. Sometime O would do this and I would freak, thinking it was his "new" pattern, but nope, after a few days he would go right back to napping or sleeping well. Are they trying new tricks? I know when O started rolling over, he did this, and when he started sitting up all the time he did it, and right before he crawled too.

 

[AmberWaves]

Hey all! Thanks for the hair compliments. I haven't had headaches since I cut it!

Fiery: Sorry your MIL has verbal diarrhea and can't keep her thoughts/comments to herself. I would feel the same way you did.

VIZ: I wanna go home TOO!!!

Mandy: Don't even know what to say, other than you poor thing. Piper has recently started not napping and getting INSANELY tired and cranky. The only things (various times -I change it around) that will work are nursing her and then rocking her to sleep and placing her in the swing (even if she just ate an hour earlier), or putting her in her stroller and rocking her in it. I did that for TWO HOURS the other day. Of course, this is because I'm at work and I can't let her cry it out here, otherwise I might be able to do it at home. I read an article that said if your baby is cranky during the day (yes), falls asleep in the car or stroller (yes and yes) then it means they need more sleep. WELL, I'm ALL for giving her more sleep- it's PIPER who fights it.

I'm supposed to be working. Sigh. I hate this place so much. My boss is dogsitting for a month (btw, what jackass foists your dog on someone for two months at a time? He's done this a month or two ago for another month) for this a-hole dog. I want to punch this dog in the ear. He's a big dog who literally barks a big howling bark every time our suite neighbor's door chimes. Unfortunately, the chime is the same sound as the toy on P's stroller, so he's all furred up about that, too. THEN he barks his head off whenever anyone opens OUR door. Have I mentioned Piper is stationed near the door? THEN he gets super jealous of my boss paying anything other than him attention (like say... a BABY) so he's always trying to get in the middle of P and my boss. Today my boss reached for P and the dog LUNGED at them. If that dog comes any closer to my baby he's going to be licking pavement- from our upstairs suite. He barks in her face, tries to lick her hands and face, and the boss is like, "Aw, he likes her." NO, he wants to EAT her.

p.s. Not an advocate of animal abuse, but this dog needs to step off (gooo '90s!)

ETA: Kim, Piper wouldn't sleep anywhere but my chest or the car seat on trips for the first few months of her life. We had a PNP, bassinet (Moses basket on wheels, really), crib... We had inclines, swaddle attempts and bouncy seats. Eventually I tried putting her in the bassinet in sheer desperation, and she stayed for three hours, which was a blessing. Now she sleeps in it all the time (I'm terrified of the crib), and only sleeps on my chest if I'm desperate for another hour and pull her in with me. She never fell asleep in the bouncer, but we did get a swing that she'd fall asleep in. Now, not so much- she has to be already asleep in order to be in it.

 

[taovandel]

Huge Hugs Mandy....so sorry that you are going through this. You aren''t heartless. It sounds like separation anxiety with your LO''s. I vote on do whatever it takes to get them to sleep/nap....put them in bed with you, take them out in the stroller...whatever makes them fall asleep and keeps you sane!

Fiery: I can''t believe your MIL....just when I think she can''t say or do anything worse.....

I guess I should be happy that the IL''s are basically nonexistent even though they live 10 minutes away?

 

[MonkeyPie]

Mandy, my gosh - every time I come here I wish I had some magical solution for your baby sleep troubles. I am too new to the game to offer any advice to you, but I really think you are doing everything in your power to make sleeping easier your little guys. I''m sorry they are so naughty for you!

Speaking of sleep troubles, ooooh does my newborn NOT act like a newborn! He is awake far more than he is asleep, and even though most of that awake time is quiet and content, I have to wonder why he won''t sleep. Everyone who has seen him, including his pedi, thinks it''s amazing how awake and alert he is all the time. He naps only lightly during the day and then sleeps in four hour chunks at night (sometimes more, but I hate letting him go too long without eating so I usually wake him up unless I am exhausted and sleep through it). He also goes down for a nap way easier for his daddy than he does for me, which I thought was because he could feel my "new mom" anxiety, but I honestly don''t think I have that anymore. No idea! He''s such a good baby though, even though I keep waiting for the babymoon to end as you all warned, hah.

He''s got some funny quirks. Since I went past term, he is the lucky recipient of lactating boobies. That freaks my husband out a LOT, but I think it''s pretty funny. Poor baby, I laugh at them all the time. He also has one eye that is a little bit cross-eyed when he tries really hard to focus on something, like my face. Another thing we laugh at, but I cover the "good" eye often to try and strengthen the bad one. It gets better every day, but when he''s tired it''s pretty obvious. He also has some crazy muscle control. He can hold his head up without too much wobbling almost as long as he wants - eventually it will come down, but he doesn''t flop like most babies in my experience do, he lets it down slowly - and he deliberately rolls over if we put him on his back. What the heck, I wanted a newborn, not a 6 month old in miniature!

My SIL called him a toddler shrunken down in size lol.

 

[fieryred33143]

MP-I''m glad you are in good spirits! M sounds like a firecracker

. That''s great that he''s going 4 hour chunks at night. Sounds like he didn''t get his days/nights confused which is awesome!

Mandy-How did the rest of yesterday go? How did the boys sleep?

Last night it took Sophia 40 mins to fall asleep. On one hand it''s great that I can put her down and she falls asleep on her own eventually without crying. On the other hand, I''m pretty much in limbo until she does fall asleep. We learned that we can''t turn on the living room light, can''t talk, and have to put the TV on mute because then she realizes we''re awake and starts crying

. So we just sit there until she''s asleep. Once she is asleep, we can have conversations in her bedroom and she won''t wake up.

We tried toast last night. She was eh about it. She was more interested in playing with it than actually eating it. I got some recipes off of wholesome baby food that I''m going to try. I figured out that she does not like to be "fooled" into new textures. In other words, if I try to hide a couple of noodles in her puree, she gets upset and throws up (I tried to give her this carrot pasta thing that I got off of wholesome baby food and she threw it all up). But if it''s something she can grab herself, then she''s ok.

 

[Mandarine]

Well...so does anyone have belly sleepers? did it take them a while to figure out THAT was what they wanted to do?

I think China hit the nail on the head. Lucas learned this new trick (rolling on his belly) and now he can''t sleep due to his new super skill.

Last night we put them down (I had my DH put Lucas down and had him be the one checking. The boys know I''m weak. They know dad is not

Anyway, after a bit of crying (like 15 minutes), he got quiet. We went to check and he was sleeping on his tummy!!!. He woke up like 15 minutes later, cried, DH turned him over and he fell sleep. Until 5 am. Then he started rolling, crying, etc...

Then this morning for naps, I put him in the PNP in my room. After like 15 minutes of fussing (not really crying), he got quiet, I went in and he was sleep in his tummy again.

I went for a run and the babysitter told me he only slept like 20 minutes (normal for him), but woke up crying in his tummy and obviously still tired.

So I think he REALLY just wants to sleep on his tummy, but when he wakes up and realizes he''s on his tummy, then it freaks him out. So maybe he just needs a few times to get used to it?. So I''m not rolling him over (because I know he knows hot to roll belly to back)...and I''m letting him cry until he finds a comfy position (unless of course he is stuck on the crib!). I should get the breathable bumpers in the mail this week...so that will give me peace of min...

Alex went down easy last night and this morning...I think he was just off yesterday due to his brother crying.

Thank you all for your comments. I know that these things just happen...it''s just hard when you have two to figure out what to do so you don''t mess up the other babies habits you know?. Like poor Alex, he was so tired last night and his brother kept crying...and this morning he got woken up at 5am because his brother just HAD to roll!. Hopefully after a few days Lucas figures things out and if he''s a belly sleeper then so be it! he''s old enough where I don''t think it''s a problem..

 

[fieryred33143]

Ok don''t shoot me but Mandy, we had the same issue with Sophia. She figured out how to roll and would either wake up because she was in this funky side/belly sleeping position or would freak out that she was on her belly.


Soooooooooooo, I would lay her down on her belly. I know, I know BUT that was what we needed to do to get her used to the idea that if she wakes up and is on her belly, the world does not have to end. Once she got used to it, we went back to laying her down on her back and then letting her do whatever was most comfortable for her (which is to tummy sleep). She was also 6 months when she discovered belly sleeping and hasn''t really slept in any other position. Sometimes she sleeps on her side and sometimes she sleeps on her back, but for the most part she likes to sleep on her tummy.

 

[anchor31]

Mandy and fiery - I cannot believe your MILs. Fiery, I don''t know how you do it, I would have put my baby in daycare a long time ago. I''m a strong believer in "my kid, my rules", and if someone doesn''t want to adhere to that, I''m not going to let them make it my problem. And if they want to throw fits and manipulate me into believing I''m a bad mother or I''m not letting them spend enough time with my kid, whatever. But then again, I got used to ignoring my MIL''s tantrums a while ago.

Kimberly - Yay for Jane being such a good sleeper!

PG - Are you just starting solids with Claire? How does she like it?

LL - Love the fauxhawk!

Mandy - Ugh, sorry to hear about the sleep regression... You worked so hard on the swaddle weaning and now this...

*hugs*

TGal, Sabine, Mara, Steph, fiery, vizsla - Thank you for your help on formula feeding, I really appreciate it.



So J had his 4-months check-up yesterday and he is 13lb 3oz and 24in! No wonder he''s eating like a monster... I discussed the whole feeding issue thing with his pedi and it really sounds like I just don''t have enough milk in the evening, and she said it''s better to supplement with formula than to start him on solids too early. She recommended waiting until he stops sleeping his usual stretches at night or 6 months. He eats like a monster before going to bed, but sleeps 8-10 hours at a time, so I was really unsure about the solids thing. I thought, if milk really isn''t enough for him, why would he be sleeping so much? Turns out my ''instinct'' was right, and I''m glad I waited to talk to his pedi about it. She was very understanding with my wanting to go to mixed feeding, and recommended that if I want to wean him completely off the boob, I should do it one feeding at a time, which is what I was planning on.

Have a good Tuesday everyone, I hope you''re having better weather than we are!

 

[gingerB]

good news: it''s not cancer

bad news: the biopsy site strated oozing on saturday -- possible abscess versus just leaking milk. my ob saw me this morning and took a culture and also sent me to a breast surgeon to get eval''ed for a possible i&d. fortunately he doesn''t think i need one now. HOWEVER the under message i got from him and my ob (both done subtly) is that i need to let my milk dry up (atleast in that breast) so that there is less media for the bacteria to grow in and decrease my chance of abscess (if there isn''t one already) it is interesting that neither said it directly -- it was merely hinted at. very un-pc to tell a mother of a 2 month old to stop producing milk i guess.

my ob started me on a 2nd atibiotic as the first isn''t clearly working

. although i haven''t started it yet as the safety in lactating moms is unclear so i''m calling the pedi tomorrow to get their thoughts.

so the other message i got is that i might continue to ooze from ym biopsy site as long as i let myself produce mil, meaning the site will stay open and continue to be a HUGE risk for abscess formation. A is 10 weeks and i am not quite ready to wean him. i worked SO FREAKING HARD to get my supply up that it was already killing me to slowly let it drop a bit knowing i couldn''t keep up my pump schedule at work.i never elaborated on the drama that i went through initially trying to bf A, but pretty much i was told that i was starving my baby, i was killing my baby and that i should have the police called on me, oh and that who was i kidding my ibts would never be able to make enough to feed a baby. all of that only spurred me to work like a crazed woman and build my supply. right now i''m producing ~40 oz per 24 hours and have about 700 oz stored in the freeezer giving me about a 3 week leeway. but honestly i wanted to try to get to at LEAST 4 months of fresh bm without supplementing and using the freezer stash as little as possible.

i don''t know if i''m willing to dry up. i know some moms feed from only one bb and let the other dry but if i do that i won''t be able to produce enough for A (our chunky monkey takes ~30 oz per 24 hours). this sucks this sucks THIS SUCKS.

so relieved the lump isn''t malignant but so hate the fact that i have this awful complication. total lose-lose situation here. i got my prelim work schedule and it is insanity for at least 4 months before i get a minor break. i don''t think i''ll be able to pump outside of my lunch break (ha! we have required "activities" during lunch also) much (maybe occ in the afternoon) so my supply may drop despite my best intentions.

and not to go into too much detail but the childcare situation for several reasons was up in the air until w few days ago and now we are desperatly looking for a nanny. i''m already so freaked out and anxiety ridden at the thought of leaving A with a stranger and adding in the factor of rushing to find one is unbearable

. esp with his sleep/nap probs i am so worried we can''t find someone as patient as we are with him re: that.

i feel really overwhelmed. i broke down and started getting teary as i was driving home. i haven''t felt like this in a long long time.

then as i was walking into the pharmacy to drop off my prescription, i see a guy with one arm and another who is clearly undergoing chemotherapy. then i get home and hubbs tells me his boss and good friend''s wife just delivered a beautiful baby girl but she had down''s syndrome with a heart condition and is undergoing surgery. we both looked at A. our beautiful, non-sleeping, but happy and healthy baby. and looked at eachother, both also exhausted but healthy and intact and we said wow. that was some perspective. what we''re going through is a minor run of some bad luck. there are no major problems that we can''t just keep chugging through right now and to just get it together and well, keep chugging because things really can be that much more dificult.

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mandy - sounds like a possible diagnosis! hope he figures out the tummy sleeping soon and goes back to sttn

mandy, fiery - i''m feeling ya''ll on the comments. see above comments re: bfing. yeah, those were made by family. all well meaning and were looking out for A''s best interest, but imagine hearing that just a few days post delivery. i seriously believe i have some post traumatic syndrome re: bfing due to that whole ordeal.

mp - sounds like micah is doing well on the sleep front!

amber - love the new do!

mara - ditto on the closed pump and sterilzed parts. i have had a bunch of plugged ducts and managed to avoind mastitis and the reason now is directly because of the biopsy. the bacteria is skin flora and is introduced throguh skin breaks. which is why i was so ocd about taking care of my bbs to try to prevent cracks etc... only to run into the biopsy issue.

and count me in on the my kids/my rules. i swear g''mas have completely forgotten that not all crying means hunger! seriously, look at my chunky monkey weighing in at 12 lbs at 2 months and chugging 30 oz a day. i am CLEARLY not starving him. he has thigh rolls, arm guns, and ridiculous cheeks that are BARELY winning out against gravity.

ll - love fauxhawks! A sports one regularly

anchor - glad the pedi confirmed that your instincts were right!

 

[vizsla]

ditto on the tummy sleep. i put c to sleep on his tummy b/c he *sleeps* when he's on his tummy. he will roll around and talk and play with his hands, and as soon as i put him on his tummy he lifts his head 3 or 4 times and then falls asleep.

fiery - if you are anything like me i give c about 15-20 mins to fall asleep before getting worried that being awake is cutting into precious sleeping time.. then when it gets to 30+ mins i start to get a little panicky.
i'm glad she's just blabbing and talking and not crying but BOO that you two have to sit in silence until she falls asleep. then again, that might be a little blessing in disguise.. some forced quite time to read or enjoy a glass of wine

again, reassure me that the hand flapping is normal.. now c is doing it every time he gets excited.... it's starting to freak me out....

ETA: ginger hooray and boo! your situation is soooo eerily similar to mine words can not express. i did have an abscess and had to have surgery for it and a subsequent drain so the fluid would continue to 'drain' from the abscess. i was on high level of iv antibiotics and a wicked dosage via pill when i was released. all when c was 10 weeks old. i also had the WORST time BF and never really had that honeymoon period where everything was working. plain and simple, it sucks and is totally unfair. from my understanding re: abscess is that you SHOULD continue to pump and/or BF A to keep the fluid moving in your boob - this will decrease your risk of a subsequent/larger abscess. at least this is what my docs told me. i continued to pump for a month and a half after getting the all clear from my surgeon and weened very slowly. it's not ideal and it's not what i had planned as far as BF was concerned but after everything i had been thru it was (in hindsight) a little bit of a relief not to worry about BF when things were all said and done. if you have any questions or want to vent etc. i'm here! i'll be checking back all day.. it's not fair and it's totally crappy to get the short end of the BF stick ((HUGS))!

ETA AGAIN- i also wanted to comment on the childcare situation - also VERY similar to mine. had we been able to swing a nanny i would have done it in a heartbeat. putting C in daycare with all of his 'sleep' issues has been a stressor. they simply can't spend enough time putting him to sleep (or holding him when he's sleeping) as DH and i do. i think it's smart and will provide a good piece of mind to know that the nanny will do exactly what you want as far as A and his sleep are concerned.