PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Kunzite]

Happy birthday Ava!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

BB, welcome! Chase is absolutely adorable and super tiny. I think all of us can understand how overwhelming the breastfeeding thing can be. It's great that you're contacting an LC, I found that to be very helpful. Don't be afraid to keep trying different ones until you click with one. And these first days can be very hard--you'll get through it. Just try not to stress as much as possible! I definitely remember crying and wanting to give up in those first days when K would get frustrated on the boob. I was terrified that she was traumatized at the sight of my nipple because bfing was frustrating her...but it's completley temporary and you'll find a solution that works!

PT, those pictures of Ava are sooooooooo cute. I cannot believe she's one--she's so adorable and tiny! Her party looks amazing! And enjoy the non-mobile days while you've got them! I find that babies always have something to be frustrated about. I thought K would be less frustrated if she could move. Now she's crawling everywhere, but frustrated that she can't get up on two feet. I'm sure once she gets there she'll be frustrated that she can't walk. If she's army crawling backwards, she's close!

LC, how is the new bedtime working out? The timing is rough because of daylight savings time. Hopefully you'll find something that works! And so cute that E is close to crawling--I think K only army crawled for a couple of weeks before she was up on all fours and really crawling. Once they get the hang of it, they're so fast! And so cute about the clapping! Does he do it when you tell him or when he's excited? Or both?

MP, I think I'm the only one who had a routine for K when she was a newborn. But honestly, it's only because of her natural sleep patterns. The night we brought her home we went to bed around 10pm and she woke up at 1 and 4 to eat, then went back to sleep. We figured it worked the first night, so we'd try it the second night. Worked again. Once her belly button healed (around the 2 week mark) and we could start giving her baths, we did that daily around bedtime (around 9pm or so?). After 6 weeks or so, she dropped one of the nightly feedings, but we kept the nighttime routine. I was a big fan of routines in the first few months--but the routines were led by K. I just adjusted around her natural sleep cycles until she was old enough to follow a loose schedule.

As for where to let her sleep, it totally depends on what he likes. If you're near, does it keep him up? In the first few months, K slept better when I was around. She slept in our bedroom at night and napped on the main floor while I did chores during the day. She liked a lot of background noise. Around the 3/4 month mark my presence went from being comforting to being a distraction, so we had her sleep and nap in her own room. If E does better with only background noise (other noises wake him), then it sounds like this settup is good. If he seems to do better with you around, maybe moving him to the bedroom for now is good.

Missrachel, I'm no help on the co-sleeping thing, K slept in a rock and play next to our bed as a newborn. When she was hungry, I'd feed her and then she was notoriously hard to burp, so she'd start to nod off when I was patting her. I did have her start sleeping out of my arms around the 6 week mark for naps. I started by having her fall asleep on me, then transitioning to the pack and play. Then I would just put her down more and more awake. She often fought sleep, so I'd have to start over with the shush-patting, but it worked pretty well.

amc, I hope you're feeling better and that your supply is improving!

AFU,Katie continues to be perpetually sick. She was just getting over an ear infection last week and now has fifth disease, which is a virus that caused her to break out in a rash. I feel so bad for her--the only thing she wanted to do all weekend was lie on me. She saw the doc this morning and we're supposed to keep giving her Tylenol to keep the fever at bay, so I'm hoping she's better by tomorrow.

 

[missrachelk]

Welcome chase and BB! He is a tiny sweetheart!!

Definitely do see the Lc and I totally agree that it needs to be someone you click with so keep looking if you don't like the first one you see. I know firsthand they can be somewhat of a blessing and a curse but have you tried a nipple shield? My nipples also don't want to stay perked and the shield definitely makes it easier for baby to latch on.

These first weeks are about survival! I think lots of babies don't sleep well in the MOTN or early morning hours at first. Just do what you can and sleep in the daytime when baby is sleeping as much as you can! Honestly don't try to do anything but eat, sleep and feed the baby. Be sure to eat and drink enough. Go easy on yourself and try not to stress. As long as baby is making wet and dirty diapers he's getting enough.


NEL LC and everyone thanks for the advice! My mom also chimed in with some great tips - to put baby's sheets in your bed for a night so they get your smell on them - and to preheat baby's bassinet or crib with a heating pad or hot water bottle - just to warm up the crib not to leave in there with baby of course.

AFU we are almost off supplemental formula woot woot!! Weight check tomorrow and I have everything crossed that she has gained at least 4 oz. I freaked our yesterday that she looked skinnier because her diapers were fitting differently at the waist but dh pointed out that she's definitely longer so hopefully she gained weight as well as length. I've cut way down on pumping it was just so draining! I'd rather nurse all day anyway! It seems that the herbs I'm taking have worked because baby isn't mad and inconsolable like she was when she really needed the supplement.

 

[FrekeChild]

BB, Chase will have a hard time sleeping at night because that's when he's used to being awake. Don't forget to eat! I did a few times and ugh, that sucked.

I cannot believe Ava is a year! Oh my gosh, the time is flying! And agreed with NEL, the longer she's not mobile, the more sane you'll be for a while.


No real updates here, A has been sleeping through the night, but refusing to take naps. TOO MUCH ELSE TO DO. Or something.

Lots of standing, cruising and wanting to take steps.

No new teeth, but they aren't far away...

Mommy is tired.

 

[amc80]

Hi all! Well, B recovered from the norovirus...after passing it to me and then to DH. Of course DH thought he was dying. Are all guys such wimps when it comes to being sick? The day I was the worst I still did 99% of the baby care. I managed to get about a 1.5 hour nap in. The day DH was sick he HAD to stay in bed all day and wasn't able to help out with anything. Ugh, vent over.

B now has a bit of a cold. Man, nothing like knocking out his first illnesses in the first week of daycare. He seems just about 100% now.

We ended up taking him to the doc on Friday, just to make sure he was okay. Found out that he's now 14lbs10oz, which means he gained 2lbs since his previous appt, 2 weeks earlier. Crazy.

To the new members of this thread, welcome! It's funny, when I read your posts I get flashbacks about the early days. I had the same questions and got the same answers you'll be getting. The first month-6 weeks is about survival. Don't worry about screwing up your kid...s/he won't remember. Just get through the days and know that it does get easier. Faster for some than others.

Confession- I was one of those "I'm never letting my baby watch tv" people. Until I found the Baby channel on DirecTV (um, 293 if you're interested). It's fabulous. I don't let B just watch it all day, but when I need to get ready in the morning or want to hop on the elliptical for 30 minutes, it's a life saver. Also useful at 2am when he won't go back to sleep after a feed. Their night time programming is awesome, puts me to sleep as well

 

[MuffDog]

Hi all! Well, B recovered from the norovirus...after passing it to me and then to DH. Of course DH thought he was dying. Are all guys such wimps when it comes to being sick? The day I was the worst I still did 99% of the baby care. I managed to get about a 1.5 hour nap in. The day DH was sick he HAD to stay in bed all day and wasn't able to help out with anything. Ugh, vent over.

B now has a bit of a cold. Man, nothing like knocking out his first illnesses in the first week of daycare. He seems just about 100% now.

We ended up taking him to the doc on Friday, just to make sure he was okay. Found out that he's now 14lbs10oz, which means he gained 2lbs since his previous appt, 2 weeks earlier. Crazy.

To the new members of this thread, welcome! It's funny, when I read your posts I get flashbacks about the early days. I had the same questions and got the same answers you'll be getting. The first month-6 weeks is about survival. Don't worry about screwing up your kid...s/he won't remember. Just get through the days and know that it does get easier. Faster for some than others.

Confession- I was one of those "I'm never letting my baby watch tv" people. Until I found the Baby channel on DirecTV (um, 293 if you're interested). It's fabulous. I don't let B just watch it all day, but when I need to get ready in the morning or want to hop on the elliptical for 30 minutes, it's a life saver. Also useful at 2am when he won't go back to sleep after a feed. Their night time programming is awesome, puts me to sleep as well

Funny - my guy LOVES tv. He just stares at it if he gets the chance. Good thing we don't have the baby channel! haha

 

[monkeyprincess]

I apologize if I'm getting annoying but I have another question. Is it a problem that E pretty much takes every bottle with his eyes closed or half asleep? The bottle seems to put him to sleep every time.

He is also fussier the past couple days and has been spitting up more sometimes in his sleep or when waking up. Is this something I should be talking to doctor about?

Man, I feel like the most incompetent mother!

 

[bobbin]

All the little halloween babies are so cute! Halloween is starting to be celebrated a bit more in Australia, but it is still really controversial here (we are a bit sensitive to being 'Americanised' sometimes). We have had a few trick or treaters in recent years so last Monday I decided to buy a 20 pack of Freddo Frogs to hand out just in case. Well, by Halloween I had just enough for all 6 trick or treaters that came to the door... Stupid tempting chocolate!

NEL: Poor little sick Katie! Is she any better now. The crying pumpkin is a hilarious photo though.

PT: Happy Birthday Ava! The party looks great. Did you get some professional photos done? The last few photos look like pro photos - beautiful.

BB: Welcome little Chase! He is gorgeous. I had the same latching issues with C when she was a newbie. She grew out of it around 4.5 weeks. It is hard though so be kind to yourself! Seeing a LC is a great idea.

LC: Awww, so cute that E is clapping his hands. C loves to watch me clap my hands, but I try to help her clap and she just makes a fist.

Missrachel: We both co-sleep and nurse to sleep C will be put down in her cot at night and when she wakes during the night she comes into our bed. As long as she sleeps until about 4am, I love it as I get my space to sleep however I like for the first part of the night, we don't have to worry about waking her when we go to bed and can have a chat before we go to sleep, and I get the lovely baby snuggles in the morning! However, this works for us, but it won't work for everyone. A lot of people also stress about not feeding to sleep. I couldn't really help it in the early days and it has just stuck. Again, it is only a problem if it is a problem for you. We don't mind it as it is just so much easier. We will have to try and train her out of it when she is older though (I think only when I wean her).

MP: How old is E now? C STILL nurses with her eyes shut 90% of the time. Sucking is relaxing for them. As I said to Rachel above, falling asleep while feeding is only a problem if it doesn't work for you (or if E isn't getting enough before falling asleep). It is pretty normal. Re the fussiness, it depends on his age, and what he is doing - does he appear to be in pain or is it crying/unhappiness? What time of the day is it occurring?

AFU:

C is still developing at a mile a minute. She is now CRAWLING!!! Luckily for me she only goes short distances, she hasn't worked out that she could just go cruising around the house yet. She can also pull herself up to standing by using furniture/anything around her. We had to lower the cot the other day because of that.

She now has 2 teeth.

At her 6 month appt, she was 27inches long and 17.6lbs - 90th percentile for weight and 95th for height.

We are also in the midst of her 6 month sleep regression/growth spurt. She is currently waking up every 2 hours overnight.

I don't know whether it is because I am tired, but I have been getting really angry and frustrated with DH a lot. Sometimes justifiably (he stays late at work leaving me to deal with evening fussiness and not getting any help during the day at all), other times over small things (not doing the dishes right etc) or blaming him for things that aren't really in his control (i.e us having to live so far away from family due to his work). I felt really angry and sad all weekend and through to Monday, but felt better Monday afternoon and today. Yesterday I was feeling worried that it might be PND or something similar because the anger is there a lot. Or, it could just be that DH and I spend NO time alone anymore. After C goes to bed we often just do our own seperate thing (I don't like this and have tried to change it but he never tries to spend time with me - see ANGER). We have no babysitters near by so we can't go out alone either.

I think I feel a bit powerless and trapped. I need more support during the week, but I don't have any family nearby and DH gets home from work around 7:30-8:30pm which is her bedtime anyway. I have asked and asked him to come home earlier, but he keeps saying he loses track of time. This leads to me feeling resentful and frustrated, but there is nothing I can do about it. I can't make him come home earlier and I can't do anything to get family support. I hate it.

 

[monarch64]

Bobbin, I understand your feelings of frustration towards your husband. I finally had to ask my husband to schedule a date night last month because I felt like we were just living separate lives besides sharing baby duties. We had tried twice to take the baby out to dinner with us and it just didn't work out, we didn't even get seated before she started fussing (this was at 3 months old). My husband wasn't comfortable with leaving her with any trusted friend alone at that point which was driving me insane. And I was getting really irritated with him over small things, like you said not washing the dishes/bottles "correctly," meaning not the way I wash them! When our scheduled date night came around, I wasn't feeling well enough to go out (had come down with yucky cold symptoms) and I got angry with him then because I was resentful that I had to SCHEDULE a time with my husband! I feel like I've worked through a lot of those feelings and am just trying to be more patient. I'm telling you all of this because I can relate to your situation and from things I've read it seems pretty normal. I hope life gets back to "normal" for all of us new mommies soon!

BB, welcome, your little boy is gorgeous! I read your birth story over on the Pregnant thread, wow! You had a pretty quick labor/delivery, and early to boot! I went into labor 2 days before my EDD, and my husband and I were pretty surprised as well, and did not have everything done either. But it didn't end up being such an ordeal, things fell into place and there really wasn't time to worry about what hadn't been finished. Good luck to you these first few weeks, it can be very trying at times but focus on the good stuff and know that everything will work itself out. Good luck with breastfeeding, too, and be kind to yourself even if things aren't going the way you think they should. LC's are great!

Hello to everyone else! I'm enjoying seeing all the Halloween babies, so adorable!

Here's a pic of Miss Alex and Mommy with the giant Care Bear daddy was so excited to buy her before she was born. Her middle name is Celeste, and this is a "Celestial Care Bear." I rarely have the chance to have someone else take a picture of us together, and after noticing that we were both wearing similarly colored jammies, decided to stage a pic with the lavender Care Bear. I posted this pic on FB and one of my friends commented that the bear was "creepy..." I think it's pretty cute, but she doesn't have kids yet.

 

[amc80]

I'd like to join in on the DH vents. Ugh. So glad I'm not alone. DH just went back to work after a 12 week paternity leave. I only had 6 weeks. He's on graveyard. This means he gets home at about 6:45, which is right when I get up. You'd think that would mean he could help get the baby ready. Nope, I end up having to rush and get myself ready for work, plus pump, feed B, get him ready, pack his daycare stuff, etc. The evenings are an entirely new different set of frustrations. I get off work at 5 and it's about 5:30
by the time I've picked B up and gotten home. Then I have to make dinner, feed B, pump, do dishes, shower, bathe B, night time bottle, put him down, take care of the dog, pump again, and finally get to bed around 10:30. I basically have zero time to do anything for myself. Even as I type this I'm pumping. DH leaves for work around 9, usually while I am finishing up bath time. I broke down tonight and DH got all defensive. Apparently I am supposed to specifically ask for what I want done. So dirty bottles sitting on the counter aren't a big enough clue because he doesn't know where in the process I am of washing them (I usually rinse them out and stick them in a bowl of hot soapy water until I get around to cleaning them..um, if they are still dirty then on the counter then that should be a freaking clue.). It's just so frustrating. And compounded by the fact that I'm so freaking tired. I should be sleeping right now since B is out but my boobs aren't going to pump themselves and the house certainly isn't gone to clean itself. I know I should relax and not care if it is mess, but I really can't relax if it is a disaster.

Ok, rant over. I need some wine.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Bobbin, are you still on maternity leave or are you a SAHM? I honestly think it's harder when you're on your own all day and DH doesn't come home until after bedtime. I work M - Th. and DH is on daycare pickup duty those days (I do drop-off). That means he HAS to leave work in time to pick up K by 5:30 (I get home around 6). On Fridays, he tends to stay later and it's frustrating because it means I'm on my own all day. I've decided to let it go because it's the only day he can stay late, but if I was home full time and it was happening every night, I'd be really frustrated. The problem is that it takes a lot of commitment to leave early every day. D has gotten around it by going in at 6am every day. Maybe your DH can commit to going in early so that he can come home early on weekdays?

I also experience some of the frustrations you do, especially around family. We're near DH's family, but not mine. It makes me feel guilty and I've even told D that I get frustrated that his parents always want to see K because mine can't. I realize I need to deal with it, and D is understanding, but I wish the frustration would subside.

amc, I feel bad that your DH works the graveyard shift because you really have to be on your own at night. The pumping is probably what's the worst right now. I have a feeling you'll look back at this time and think "how did I do it??"

DH and I have worked out weeknights, but it took some time. I always feel like I'm balancing everything--time with K, time with DH, work, family, friends. I don't always feel like it's in balance, but I do the best I can.

 

[lliang_chi]

Muff, look at your little lion! So adorable!!! Ethan watches football with J as his TV watching time. J was so happy when Ethan learned how to clap now he clap during football games. His exact words were "Great job, buddy. Now you just have to learn to drop F-bombs and we can watch football together."

PT, Ava's looking gorgeous as always! I agree with Bobbin those pics in her blue dress look amazing! You've got such a beautiful family! Will follow you along in the toddler thread! I think A will be getting around to moving soon, she just likes doing things on her own time. Plus with the adjusted age, she's not quite a yr, right? Maybe 9 months?

BB, Welcome and hello Mr. Chase!!! You're looking adorable and so squishy! Feel free to ask whatever questions, here. We've all been there and what I can hazily remember I"ll try to "impart wisdom." I use that in quotes because hell, not sure if you can qualify it as wisdom. More like "Knowing is half the battle." LOL.

NEL, sorry to hear K's still sick. Hoping she feels better. Ethan's army crawling much faster now and can *almost* get his knees under him. He claps when he's excited, and if he sees us doing it. And he's so proud of himself when he claps. Are you still doing baby-sign? I'm trying with Ethan. I *think* he understands "milk" but I'm trying to get him to do "eat" and "all done". The sleep... well, see below for how that's going.

Rachel, Hooray for kick starting the BFing! I also think that she's getting used to BFing also, but I'm sure the supplements are helping wiht your supply too. And you're getting used to it too.

Freke, hoping things are getting better with A's naps. Hooray for STTN though. Must admit I'm JEALOUS! OMG I can't believe she's so close to walking. And I can't believe Miss A is going to be the next to make the toddler jump! Have you heard from Elle? I wonder how she and her son are doing. I think he was born just after A was.

AMC, OMG, I'm going to check out that baby channel too. I put on music for Ethan while I'm feeding him dinner so he associates it with good things. We're looking for ways to distract him for a very long car ride for the holidays. And I totally agree with you about men being SUCH babies. Whenever J is up late with E he's in bed and taking 2+ hr naps. Must. Be. Nice.... Re: having help with the chores and stuff 1) get a house cleaner. it's TOTALLY worth the money. 2) list all the things you need done in the evenings (wash the bottles, give B a bath by X time, feed B by X time, pump, make dinner, pack day care bag, etc). Then have your DH pick which ones he's going to do, then tell him, he's DOING them. Obviously things like pumping he can't do, but it's important for him to see EVERYTHING that needs to be done.

MP, Ethan was and still is a sleepy eater. He'll grow out of the sleepiness by four months when he's super distracted and loves watching everything. I still use the bottle/nurse to help E unwind, but E's never been an awsome nurser so sometimes boob-time gets him pissed off and worked up. But the bottle is totally a soother. Re: the spit up, keep E vertical for 30 mins, see if that'll help him with the spit up. Mention it to the pedi, but I wouldn't be too alarmed just yet. I think E's about 6 wks right? THat's textbook the FUSSIEST time for newborns, so it's normal. And last but not least, you are NOT an incompetent mother! You're a new mom, and we've ALL been there. That's what this thread is for

Bobbin, I'm sorry to hear that your DH is home late. J came home late (after 7:30, sometimes 8PM) every day during my maternity leave. Even when I went back to work he'd be home like 7:30/8PM consistently. His response was similar to your DH's "I *can't* get out in time." TBH it's not that he can't, it's that he WON'T. I can easily stay until 6:30PM at work (did this every day before E was born) but since I'm on pick up duty, I *have* to leave @ 5PM every day. For us, this got better when I took over BOTH day care drop off AND pick up and told J in no uncertain terms, "I'm doing both, so you can be home earlier." Now that he doesn't have to do drop off, he really has NO EXCUSE not to be home before 7PM. So believe me, I'm going ot be might pissed if/when he comes home after 7PM because he stayed at work late.
At any rate, is there any way you can hire help? House cleaner? Any way you can find baby sitters via your Mommy Group (grandma's, nieces, cousin's)? If you've made some friends in your Mommy Group, maybe you guys can rotate and have a "play group" once a week or every two weeks. It'll give you a little bit more support and you won't feel all alone during the day.
I can't believe C is *crawling* already! Sounds like NEL's Katie who was also an early crawler. Hope the sleep stuff sorts itself out quickly.

Monnie, A is getting SO BIG now!!! Try doing weekend brunches with your DH if you want to take A along. I found it easiest do stuff with DH and friends in the AM vs the PM. And all of this IS very normal, but not just the hormones, it's also a life changer to have a baby and you guys are rebuilding your life around her. It took us forever finally (regularly) be intimate again, so it'll take time.

AFU, Ethan's sleeping is... not great. We're trying to move his wake up to 6:30, which he did today (hooray) but he was a terror last night. Woke up every 45 mins from 8PM till 11PM (probably due to crappy naps at day care), then woke up again @ 3AM and did not want to go down. My DH kept popping in and says "Do you want me to take him," which of course I read as "I can do this better than you, so let me take him."
But anyway, J doesn't want to do any sleep training yet. He wants to work on shifting Ethan's schedule, and MOTN dream feeds so E stays asleep. TBH, I'm not seeing the dream feeds working because 1) he's doesn't take much and 2) He's STILL getting up @ 4AM... But I'll give it another few weeks to see if any of it sticks. Maybe next month we'll try sleep training. J doens't put E down awake (still rocks/holds him to sleep), so I fear that Ethan's getting dependent on having someone put him to sleep. Which I do not want. But one battle at a time, LC. One battle at a time.
Marriage-wise we're FINALLY having regular sex again. OMG thank goodness! Must've been precipitated by our anniversary (two weeks ago), but I'm not complaining
And today, E was still sleeping @ 6AM when I got up, so I figured I'd pump since my left boob was totally overdue (E didn't want to nurse last night). So I pumped, then had to feed Ethan breakfast, so pumped while feeding him, which is GOLDEN! But then I decided I'd be so slick and NOT bring my pump to work because I pumped in the AM. Big mistake! I'm totally due for a pump session but don't have my pump So, I'll have to pump while feeding E dinner tonight.

~LC

 

[blondebunny]

NEL- Thank you!

Missrachel- Ya I am definitely going to give the nipple shield a try. I just dont have the energy to try it until my MIL gets here on Saturday and can help me with feedings. I can totally see what you mean by survival. I am trying my hardest to survive. I seriously underestimated how much work a newborn is.. especially when you have no help...

Freke- Thanks! Ya Chase was always awake in my belly at nighttime when i was pregnant, but then again it seemed like he was never asleep in my belly haha I think the kid slept maybe an hour a day! I have definitely been trying to drink plenty of fluids and eat food as much as possible.

monkeyprincess- I am with you there on feeling like an incompetent mother. Chase does the same thing with feeding, he's always half asleep. So I lay him on his back and play with him until he wakes enough to continue eating and try to talk to him as I feed him. It has seemed to help because at first Id spend over an hour trying to feed him when he was just asleep it got hard because then I was getting no sleep.

bobbin- Thanks! Its nice to know Im not the only one who went through these problems with breastfeeding.

monarch- Thanks! yes my labor was very fast! Still think back and am in shock haha

lliangchi- Thanks!! Ive been trying to take it day by day because Ive realized no 2 days are the same haha

Wow, Its comforting to know I am not the only one with a DH vent! I know my DH isnt to blame for his lack of help, but its still frustrating as can be! Had the baby on Sunday, we got lucky enough DH got Mon/Tues off without having to make it up because of the storm, we were hoping he could be off till Friday and then have the weekend off, but they wanted him to make it right away. So if he took off Wed-Fri they wanted him back that Sat and work 8 days till the next Sat. I was so mad but figured it would be worse for him to work 8 days straight than for me to just be home with baby alone on Thurs and Friday, but he did have to make up Wed on Sat so that sucked but he was only there a short time so it worked out. But DH has to be to work by 9am and doesnt get home till like 6pm or so. Well when he gets home we have to eat and he still needs to study for his boards and stuff, so Im still stuck with baby by myself... The only break I am getting is for one feeding at like 7:30pm or so while I shower and then I have baby again but I have made a point to wake DH up at 6am and make him feed the baby so that I can pump and get some rest. But I am just irritated. He keeps telling me how tired he is, he went to bed at 9pm and woke up at 6am.. Ya I got like 2-4hrs of sleep.. He likes to remind me he hasnt caught up on his sleep from the past 2 years in Grenada studying, but I kind of dont care and am getting irritated with the lets play the whose more tired game!

I also feel like Im an emotional mess. I find myself crying for absolutely no reason. I know its probably the lack of sleep and the hormones but its frustrating. I really just want to feel somewhat normal. I just find it hard to take care of baby and to also take care of myself especially with all of the post-partum care. It seriously still hurts down there to pee. I did have a very minor second degree tear so I have a few stitches but it hurts to pee and i have to use the perineal bottle everytime I pee and then do the whole pad, witch hazel pad and derma-blast spray stuff, I feel like going to the bathroom takes me 20 mins everytime. Im praying it gets better soon so I dont have to continue feeling in pain down there I think id feel a whole lot better!

My MIL is coming in on Saturday, and I dont think Ive ever been so happy haha She'll be here for 8 days to help with the baby, which means I can hopefully get some extra sleep and help and put myself back together! Then hubby has off for Thanksgiving so it'll be nice to have some help for a few days before he starts a new rotation again and Ill be by myself again but by then baby will be a month old so Im hoping things will start getting easier. I am going to have her really help me with the breastfeeding. I find it really hard and frustrating to try all by myself because I have to reposition him and I have a hard time getting in and out of bed to grab something if I need it so having her will help I think and get him back to the boob for most of the feedings except the ones I have hubby help me with so I can relax for an hour or 2.

OH and we also still only have partial power. So now power in the bathroom/hallway and half the outlets in our house dont work. Our heat also isnt working either. Which sucks because its like 30 degrees outside. I try to keep Chase as warm as possible since he's so tiny, but they did give us one space heater and we have it next to his cosleeper so its been helping but the rest of the hosue is freeeeezing! I am hoping they get our power restored ASAP Alright well I am sure Chase is going to wake up any moment now and Id like to pee before I need to feed him again and finish cleaning up for his newborn shoot tomorrow! Hopefully he behaves

Thanks again for all the support and encouragement! I have a million questions to ask and am thankful to have you ladies here to help answer them for me

 

[amc80]

AMC, OMG, I'm going to check out that baby channel too. I put on music for Ethan while I'm feeding him dinner so he associates it with good things. We're looking for ways to distract him for a very long car ride for the holidays. And I totally agree with you about men being SUCH babies. Whenever J is up late with E he's in bed and taking 2+ hr naps. Must. Be. Nice.... Re: having help with the chores and stuff 1) get a house cleaner. it's TOTALLY worth the money. 2) list all the things you need done in the evenings (wash the bottles, give B a bath by X time, feed B by X time, pump, make dinner, pack day care bag, etc). Then have your DH pick which ones he's going to do, then tell him, he's DOING them. Obviously things like pumping he can't do, but it's important for him to see EVERYTHING that needs to be done.

Thanks for the advice. I would LOVE a house cleaner, but it's out of the question. DH is a deputy sheriff and refuses to have a stranger in the house. He says he's worked too man cases where a house keeper has led to robberies. I don't think I'm asking for all that much. I mean if he spent 30 minutes doing stuff before I got home from work, I'd be happy. That would be enough time to, say, take care of the dog, pick up, and wash some bottles. The baby night time routine will fall on me as long as he's on graveyard, since the routine starts at about 8 and that's when DH has to start getting ready for work. But if all the other crap was done it would mean I could have some me time once the baby was in bed. I will try to talk to him tonight and show him everything that needs to be done.

Blondebunny- DH is always complaining how tired he is. Even when he was on paternity leave and I was back at work...and I was still getting doing all night time feedings. I asked him how he could possibly be tired when he slept all night, and he said that me getting up would wake up him, and that's the SAME THING as actually being up for the 30-60 minutes. HAHAHA!

amc, I feel bad that your DH works the graveyard shift because you really have to be on your own at night. The pumping is probably what's the worst right now. I have a feeling you'll look back at this time and think "how did I do it??"

You're right, the pumping might be the end of me. I'm pumping 6x a day. If I could eliminate those sessions, I'd have at least 2 whole extra hours of time a day. That's a lot. My goal was always to go 6 months, but now I'm thinking closer to 4/5. I'd feel better about stopping once B is eating some solids, just because I don't love the idea of 100% of his nutrition coming from formula. And honestly, I don't mind graveyard as much as I thought I would. I know I'm alone, but at least I know what to expect. When he is here at night, I am so hopeful that he's going to take care of things, and then he doesn't, so I am let down. This way I can manage expectations a little better. Is that sad?

 

[monkeyprincess]

BB, you really are taking on a lot right now so it's no wonder you running on empty. Hope you can hang in til you MIL arrives. I agree about being completey underprepared for how much work on infant is. I think I was in serious denial! I have also been pretty worn out and weepy.

LC, thanks. E is only 3.5 weeks. Yikes I hope I'm not in for several weeks of a crabby baby. He just seems tempermental and grouchy a lot of the time lately, and it is exhausting trying to keep him happy.

Sorry to hear so many of you are having DH problems. We are still in the early days, so DH is still very helpful. He is taking on a lot of the night watch because I am so exhausted and depleted lately. Speaking of, I am going to see my doctor later this week to be assessed for PPD. I think it has a lot to do with my insomnia and exhaustion, but I am so anxious and worried about everything, have to force myself to eat, and I just feel no energy and have no focus. I want to get treated sooner rather than later, so I can take better care of myself and E. I feel trapped and overwhelmed by small tasks. DH has been shouldering a lot of the burden even though he is working, which is making me feel really guilty. In short, I just don't feel right.

Thank you all for your support and advice. I am ashamed I am reacting this way after how much I wanted a baby and how hard we tried. I really hope I start to fel better soon. My mom and sister are coming this weekend, so that should help. I also dropped E off with my SIL today to get a few hours to myself to relax. Please tell me it gets a little easier!

 

[amc80]

Please tell me it gets a little easier!

It does! I felt the same way. I would forget to eat. It would be 3pm and I'd realize I hadn't had anything all day. I'd CRY when B would wake up for the 4th time in a night and want to eat. I'd cry when he was hungry after eating an hour before. It was so stressful and I was very worried about his weight, since he lost 13% in 5 days or so. It's normal to be overwhelmed. It's an overwhelming event! Your entire life gets thrown into a tailspin. You have no time to do anything but take care of this tiny, extremely demanding creature...who is a stranger. I didn't bond with B at first, it took a while. That made things more difficult because I had the guilt of that on top of everything else. Now? I love him to pieces and can't imagine life without him.

B will be 3 months old in 2 days. It's still hard. He still gets up 1-2 times a night. But I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there.

 

[pancake]

MP, do NOT allow yourself to feel ashamed!!! How you feel right now is normal and it has nothing (obviously!) to do with how much little E was desperately wanted or how much you love him. It gets easier. It really does. You need to make sure that you are sleeping as much as you can (naps are essential at the moment!) and that you are eating properly. I was bad at both of those things but had a husband and mother who forced me to nap and I am so lucky they did!

Re DH issues... Recalibrating our relationship was one of the hardest aspects of adjusting to parenthood for us. The baby part was easy (largely because S is easy) but I really struggled when D returned to work, and even now, almost 9 months down the track, I HATE D's long hours (to be fair, he hates them even more) and how little time he gets to spend with S.

I will post more about all of this later. Hugs, Bobbin!

 

[FrekeChild]

LC, I talk to Elle on FB all the time. She and Liam are doing very well! Liam is about to start walking too I think.

Baby TV for the win. Here we don't have it (we had Baby First TV in NM, not here in CA) but we have Sprout, so we make do. She typically only watches for a bit in the morning while I wake up, and then if I have to do something and she's mad, I might turn it on. She likes Caillou, Sesame Street and Chica. I guess Sprout is the PBS preschooler's channel.

Tensions with husbands is normal. The transition into SAHM was very difficult (still is) for us, because suddenly I was 100% in charge of the little one, and with him starting a new job, and moving to a new state...it was a huge bleeping mess. Still is sometimes, but not as bad now. It does get better. But TALK!!!! Communicate! Force him to talk to you about your frustrations and ask for help! I promise, talking helps!!!!!!!

Tired. It's been a very long stressful day.

 

[mayerling]

Blondebunny, congratulations! Please don't worry about whether you're doing a good job or not. I'm sure you are. MP, the same goes for you. I know exactly how the two of you feel as I was super-stressed when N was a newborn, and to a certain extent I still am because of his sleep issues.

LC, I'm sorry E is still not STTN. Neither is N and I'm beginning to think he never will; at least not until we sleep-train and I'm still not ready to do that.

AMC, Bobbin, and everyone else with DH issues, it's definitely tough, isn't it? The toughest thing, I think, is when we end up venting to them for not showing any initiative, only to be told "why didn't you tell me you wanted such and such a thing done?".

Monnie, love the A and bear pic!

Muff, good to hear from you. I wish you'd pop in more often.

Rachel, congrats on not needing to supplement any more!

AFU, N is four months old today! We're still working on his sleep issues. I think he's at the point where he's doing one complete sleep cycle per month, definitely an improvement to his 20 mins, and I think I'm going to start transitioning him to the crib next week. I hope it works so I can get some of my life back; between feeding him, rocking him to sleep, and holding him while he naps, I have ZERO time.
Also, tonight's second MOTN feed will signal the start of N's weaning process. I plan to do a gradual wean which I hope will be completed by the time he's 5 months. In a sense I'm sorry to miss the closeness that comes with BF, but I'm also eager to finally address my health issues (nail fungus treatment and anal fissure treatment are not compatible with BF).

 

[dani13]

Hi everyone!!! Sorry it's been so long since I've checked in. We are doing pretty well. L is definitely not as easy as he was the first 2 weeks of his life though! It's like he woke up! His evening fussiness has gotten somewhat worse and about 2 weeks ago he started vomiting a bit after most of his feelings. Took him to the doc who confirmed that he is doing very well (he is up to almost 12 pounds already) and she believes I'm over feeding him, since my supply has basically skyrocketed and I was always giving him both breasts. Of course, being a nurse, I over analyze everything....like I was questioning whether he may have pyloric stenosis...but his vomiting is not projectile, so doc says its probably not that. So I've been keeping him elevated for about a half hour after feeds and just giving him one breast. We will see how it goes! It's just all so overwhelming!

Mp, I so relate to how you feel! Like I said, this whole thing is so overwhelming. I'm proud of you for getting to the doc though, bc if it is ppd, the earlier you start treatment, the better! Our lives have not only been turned upside down, but we are dealing with crazy hormones too! Hang in there! I feel the same way you do, but I keep saying to myself, " it will get better!" because it has to, right? The thing that gets me is that there will always be a new set of questions/ anxieties with every stage...whether they are 8 weeks or 18 years old... Like my Mom says, " little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems!!!" Oh man.

Amc, Bobbin....sorry to hear about the dh issues. Us as women, we end up with 90% of the responsibility, and it's really not fair. I actually snapped at my dh the other day and told him I wish I could go to work because even on my worst day, work is so much easier and at least it's not so isolating as staying home and taking care of a baby! I literally feel like I'm on house arrest! The doc told me not to take L out for at least the first 8 weeks and to limit visitors, so it's been so hard! It's amazing how I took the smallest things (like a shower!) for granted before! Hang in there, ladies!!!

We have been living like nomads for the past week because of hurricane Sandy. It's been terrible, especially with having the baby. My parents finally got power back yesterday, so now we are here, which is more comfortable compared to where we were, but still. You should see all the crap we have had to lug around with us. We still have no power at our home, they are projecting to have it back sometime between Tom and Saturday, but there is another storm coming tomorrow, so we'll see. I'm so done with this though...just want to be back in my own home already!!! I feel bad complaining though, after so many people lost literally everything because of this storm. We had a small tree smash our deck, but my parents had a HUGE tree come down right into their in ground pool...it literally missed the house by just a few feet. So, thousands and thousands of dollars worth of damage, but at least no one was hurt. And thank goodness for homeowners insurance!

Have a great week everyone!!!

 

[moxie.moo]

Ladies, I'm only around intermittently due to work internet access, but so many of your posts were resonating with me that I had to chime in. Between the frustrations with husbands (my girl is 15 months and I still have to roll my eyes at least once a day when my husband acts like a baby!), to pumping like it's a second job, to feeling like there's no time to yourself... It is so so so hard having a newborn, dealing with sleep deprivation, and the humongous transition to parenthood... It feels like yesterday and a million years ago all at once. I PROMISE IT GETS EASIER. I am 17 weeks along with number 2 and I swore up and down that I would never do this again. Between working FT, trying to propose a dissertation, and doing nearly all the childcare whenever I'm home I'm still tired (especially after staying up too late last night for election results!), but I have started learning to carve out little mini breaks for myself. It's sad to think that now cup of coffee can feel like a vacation, but take care of yourself whenever you can, and know if that baby is alive and growing you are kicking A$$. I don't have a lot of BTDT advice because I still feel like a novice in so many ways, but I know that this time around my goals are: to sleep whenever I can, delegate more (love the list of "things to do everyday" idea--stealing it!), rest a little easier knowing I CAN keep a human alive, know that I WILL sleep again and eat at a table again and see friends again, and also possibly get a tattoo reminding myself that babies do just fine with formula so pumping for 8 months is something I don't ever plan to do again. I don't even know if I'd do it for a month again. I think I have pumping PTSD and it was such a huge focus and time demand for 8 months that I feel like I missed out on some of the wonderful moments of babyhood. (I'm more of a kid person than a baby person!)

MP, your posts especially have caught my eye because they feel so familiar. I think it's awesome that you're going to the doctor--so much of what you're describing sounds JUST LIKE ME for about three months PP and I had postpartum anxiety. I remember thinking everything tasted like sand, I just wanted my life back, I missed my husband, and then feeling embarrassed and guilty for all of it.... Trust that it does get better and ask for help whenever you need it. Try to sleep as much as possible--that made a huge difference for me. And you ARE NOT INCOMPETENT. I wish I could give you a hug from here even though we're internet strangers. Also my doctor has a nurse check-in service where someone calls a couple of times a week to just chat and keep an eye on your mood and whatnot. I cried almost every time but it was a good safety net for me--see if something like that is available around you as well.

HANG IN THERE MAMAS! And keep the pics coming, all your babies are delish!

 

[Buttons]

Hi ladies!

I can so empathise with all the talk of feeling lost and not knowing what I am doing!!! We are just muddling along here, hoping for the best... we are most definitely not on a sleep schedule or anything even remotely approaching it. Poor child is lucky if he gets a bath every second day!

So Wee Button was five weeks old yesterday. He 'celebrated' by having an appointment with the only cranial osteopath in the entire country who specialises in treating infants (we were lucky to get an appointment so soon - her waiting list is crazy but we got a cancellation). She pointed out spots on his head where the moulding is more obvious than other points, and worked on his right shoulder which she thinks may have gotten stuck on the way out during the C-section. She also did some work on his neck muscles as she said those impact on the use of the tongue.The session went really well - we got home last night and he stuck his tongue out for the first time ever! This is HUGE as it means he can now start learning how to latch properly. For his exertions he got a standing ovation from two excited parents and two grandparents

The BF is going better, my nipples no longer bleed during feeds which is an improvement. One nipple I think has suffered permanent trauma, it seems to have healed with a gaping crack going across it and the milk just pours out like out of a jug. It's pretty gross. He also still mashes down on my nipples while he feeds, and they come out shaped like a lipstick and with some compression vasospasm going on, but I think as he grows and his mouth gets bigger those problems will ease.

We are still battling thrush, which is horrible. I am on fluconazole but it took two weeks of agony and three GPs before I got one who would prescribe in accordance with our national health service's professional advice on the correct dosage for ductal thrush I am also using miconazole gel on my nipples. I am taking acidophilus, grapefruit seed extract, and garlic. I was on the candida diet but it made me so run down I got a terrible cold and then was violently sick all Sunday night so I am not sticking to that so rigidly any more. I am also washing my nipples and Wee Button's hands and bottom in a water and baking soda mixture. All of this for the last two weeks and I still feel like someone is mashing glass into my nipples and I have electric shocks running through my breasts after nursing. I also have this itching sensation under the skin sometimes while he nurses, and he still has white spots in his mouth. I really hope the fluconazole sorts this thing out because it's miserable

I was wondering did any of you experience a baby as young as Wee Button being very distracted at the breast? Wee Button thrashes around a lot - he pulls back suddenly with the nipple still firmly in his mouth, he sinks his face into the breast nose first and kind of grinds into it, and he yanks his head back and forth, sometimes complete with snarling sound effects to go along with the actions! My LC has suggested this is down to his maybe having a sore mouth from the thrush, or that he may be trying to slow the flow of milk... Would anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? It's very painful!

What else... we had Wee Button baptised on Sunday, which was lovely. I went along to a Mommy group last week and that was lovely just to get out of the house. Hoping to go along again tomorrow if I have a lift down town (I won't be signed off for driving until next week). I signed up for a baby massage class starting next week, really looking forward to that. Oh and my MIL at the weekend told me I ought to let Wee Button CIO as she thinks he is "spoilt" and "ruling the roost"... at four weeks old... riiiiiiight...

Anyway apologies for the me-centric post, I am reading along and am thinking of everyone every day, I am just still a bit overwhelmed and finding it hard to get time to settle down to post. I wanted to say to everyone who is struggling to hang in there, we will get through this, and I also wanted to say thank you to the 'seasoned Mommies' for all the advice and support - you are just wonderful

 

[MuffDog]

I just drafted probably a 5 page "sorry I've been MIA so here is a super long post responding to everyone" response and PS ATE IT.

My hormones are back to normal and I WANT TO CRY.

 

[mayerling]

Muff, I'm sorry about that. I hope you continue to post even if the posts are short.

N refused the bottle last night so I gave in and BFd. Any advice?

 

[stephbolt]

Muff, I'm sorry about that. I hope you continue to post even if the posts are short.

N refused the bottle last night so I gave in and BFd. Any advice?

Has he previously taken a bottle? From you? Just wondering if it's the bottle he has issue with or the formula or possibly getting a bottle from mama when the boob is right there?

 

[lliang_chi]

Mayer, Ethan never cared much for formula so I have to cut formula with breast milk so he'll drink it. Even then he still won't take it @ day care. They just offer it to him if he doesn't drink it he doesn't drink (he does eat purees though). Some ideas off the top of my head 1) he might be distracted taking a bottle. Try going to a darkened room with NO ONE around but you and the bottle. 2) Try mixing the formula with breast milk 25% formula/75% BM, and then gradually shifting the amount as he gets accustomed to it. 3) If he's just wanting to nurse, can you DH feed him via bottle? One of my mama friends said her babies wouldn't take the bottle either and they kept offering the bottle and not the breast. Eventually their babies took the bottle, but still preferred the breast. I dunno if I have it in me do that though... For us, Ethan has always preferred bottles over boob, and occasionally goes on boob strike.

Maybe PT or Pancake might have some ideas, I think their daughters have both gone on bottle strikes from time to time.

 

[mayerling]

He has taken bottles from me but they were a long time ago. He hasn't had a bottle in two months. From me, he's had bottles with breastmilk, formula, and mixed.

 

[missrachelk]

Hi Mamas.

Another rough week.

It gets better, it gets better, it gets better ??!!
this is what is getting me through the week along with a quote from Ina May -
"Your Body is NOT a Lemon"

Turns out that I spoke much too soon, and should never have taken the baby's feeding plan into my own hands based on my feelings that my supply was increasing. At weight check Tuesday she had gained NOTHING all week. So I realized that the 2 weeks of her life that I EBF and didn't supplement with formula at all, she gained zero weight.

Pedi was nice to me because she knew I was upset and just said that we need to supplement after every feeding. I met with my LC that night and worked on getting off the nipple shield and talked about strategy for pumping. We also decided to wake up baby in the night to feed, I suspect she was sleeping too long at night as well as not getting enough in the daytime hours. Baby will take the naked boob sometimes, so at least she's not rejecting me. I'm not ready to go cold turkey but I'm working with her moods and trying just the boob as much as I can. I really upset myself when I realized that all she will take is the nipple shield or a bottle, so maybe she DOES have nipple confusion after all. Ugh. After that all being said I am doing OK. Tuesday was horrible but I am going to feed my baby by whatever means necessary and will do what I can within reason to get her as much breastmilk as possible.

Also went to my midwife again and started domperidone and went back on metformin. the met is supposed to be helpful, albeit somewhat a new idea for BF women with PCOS. Fingers crossed something works!!

We go back for a weight check tomorrow, and I've been logging all the feedings and pees and poos. What gets me is the whole week she has had more than enough pees and poos, and she looks great, is holding her head up and otherwise developing, just not gaining weight.

It SUCKS to have to supplement and to feel like you can't feed your baby and that you might even have been hurting her for 'selfish' reasons wanting to EBF. I also pretty much hate pumping, and either pumping or the baby actually latching has irritated my nipples again after they were feeling pretty much 100% better from the thrush. Off to apply more of my $40 APNO !

Sorry I can't muster more replies but BB - I would now take back my nipple shield suggestion! Be sure to be working with an LC before you start with that thing, because it can hurt supply and be 'addictive' to the baby and hard to get rid of. Mine says anyone using a shield needs to pump at least 5-8 times a day to keep up supply since it reduces stimulation.

one day I'll be a fully participating member of the group - and society! I'm still in PJ's every day and only occasionally actually going in public. I did break down and get some cheap jeans - they're like 4 sizes bigger than my happy size but they fit! pants with a button and zipper!

 

[Puppmom]

I just wanted to chime in re: DH frustrations. In the beginning, I too was very frustrated with DH. He was *willing* to help but almost always needed to be told WHAT to do...and sometimes how to do it. Save your sanity and be specific with your hubby about what you need and what baby needs that he can be responsible for. I nursed so obviously DH couldn't help with that but he could change and burp DS etc. Oh, and did I mention I wanted to poke my eyes every time he complained about being tired?

By working through those early kinks and putting my "I shouldn't have to tell you" thoughts aside, we've become a really great team. I seriously couldn't be happier with DH's contributions to DS's care. He is the BEST dad. He's really enjoying this toddler time and, in hindsight, realizes that bonding with a baby is hard and not always natural. And, sometimes infant care just is sucky and not rewarding. We have another due in February and DH is already looking forward to this kid's first birthday!

Don't get me wrong, DH still does things that seem thoughtless and ridiculous to me like wipe DS's face with the same rag he used to wipe his boogies or give him a sugary treat right before nap or decide that DS doesn't need a jacket even though DH is cold enough to wear one himself...but all of these are harmless. And, letting DH care for DS his way without my constant interference (ok, SOMETIMES I interfere) has really allowed them to bond. As a result, DS loves his daddy and is totally cool with daddy feeding him, putting him to bed, giving him bath etc. This makes me smile especially because I have friends with toddlers going through a "daddy is not cool" phase.

Hang in there ladies, cut your husbands some slack but don't lower your expectations. It will get better.

PS - AMC - your schedule sounds grueling. I don't know how do you do it! If I had to get myself and DS out of the house in the morning with no help, I would probably have to get up at 4am.

 

[MuffDog]

Missrachelk - oh no that sounds so frustrating and disappointing!! When my little guy went to his first ped appointment the doctor said he had lost too much weight and that I had to supplement with formula and I promptly BURST into tears. Being a new mom is hard enough, but feeling somehow...inadequate....at nourishing your baby is the worst. First up...relax and give yourself a break. It is like we are all wracked with guilt no matter what you do. Feed formula? Guilty. EBF and not have enough weight gain? Guilt. It is so hard! So try to be kind to yourself. First priority is your baby - so if formula is necessary, that is exactly what it is for!! Make up for the formula feed with pumping which will increase your supply and soon enough you can supplement with breastmilk (if supplementation is still necessary). That is what I did with Luca. We did formula for a few days while I pumped and developed a small stash and increased my supply, and now we are EBF with the exception of one bottle of breast milk at night to help him sleep longer I hope that the medication helps the supply and that things turn around for you. One last thing - I had a consultant come to my house and she told me that lying down to feed is excellent for increasing supply. Mine definitely responded well when I started doing that.

Buttons - I'm glad that the bf'ing is starting to improve. We also had major issues (no bleeding but constant stabbing pain before, during and after feeding) and the vasospasms from the trauma of mashed nipples were the worst! They actually lasted three months for us. I imagine you are but working on getting a deeper latch helped a bunch so that my nipple wouldn't be compressed. Even still - UGH. Sucky eh?

Dani - hey girl! That is interesting your doctor said that you were overfeeding. I thought that it was impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby? Is that not the case? Either way - no matter. If you have over supply then just feeding on one is better (so I have been told by my bf consultant) to make sure that the baby gets enough of the hind milk. Plus then you can be one of those girls who grabs their boobs before feeding to see which side to put the baby on Sorry to hear about all of the Sandy issues. Glad that you and your parents didn't have any serious damage and I hope things are back to normal soon!

BB - congrats on the arrival of Chase! What a sweetie Um ya - breastfeeding is TOUGH especially at the beginning as your body adjusts and you have crazy hormones and a newfound case of "mom guilt" over everything. Ya. It gets easier However the challenges with your DH may not! I think it is normal to have those challenges but I know what you are feeling. The first time my DH said "I'm so tired" I wanted to drop kick him. My first instinct is always to think/say "I'm sorry, but YOU"RE TIRED?!" but I try to keep a lid on it. That kind of "who is more tired" argument is never going to help anything and all I can say is to remember that when your DH says it, it has nothing to do with how tired you are. He isn't thinking about you or comparing himself to you when he says it. He is just thinking of himself. And remember too how you thought you know what exhaustion was before Chase arrived? Ya well your husband seems to think he knows what exhaustion is too. Only us moms know better!!

AMC - arg. That story about your DH definitely hit close to home. Tell me. Why is it that us women have to specifically ask for things to get done but we are expected to just know/do the rest? So annoying! My DH is the same. It is like everything baby related is on my plate unless I specifically ask. Even if he is doing dinner dishes, he will just IGNORE the dirty bottles next to the sink. Seriously. I know I'm the one who is responsible for feeding the baby but trust me. The bottles aren't going to break if he cleans them. Ugh. PLUS he'll just sit on the couch hanging out with L while I am cleaning/getting the bottle ready etc before bed. L will be visibly tired and I'll have my hands full and I have to say "can you please take him upstairs and start the bath?" like I'm asking him to do a favour!

Bobbin - hugs lady. Sounds rough. Things will definitely get better with the evening fussiness etc so even if your DH is stuck at work, it won't be as difficult for you. I hope you can work out a better schedule with your DH because both he and your baby need you to be okay. An overwhelmed and anxious mom is not good! Can your DH work from home? i.e come home at an earlier time and then once the baby is in bed, turn on the computer and do a bit more? I definitely had similar issues with DH when Luca was still really awful. He would get stuck at work and by the time he walked in the door, he would find both me and Luca in tears on the couch. Now that he goes to bed at a regular hour, the tears have stopped but it is now even more important that DH gets home at a decent hour or he misses seeing Luca at all!

AFU - as I noted things are much much better with Luca. He only loses it when he is overtired but is otherwise pretty happy. He is rolling both ways, laughing, smiling and every once in a while babbles. Sleep has been our #1 saviour. We thought he was colicky and had reflux but realized that he was overtired. Go figure. We are kind of housebound now because he doesn't sleep well if we are out and about. Little diva only wants to sleep in his crib! However, I'll take it because he is now sleeping 11-12 hours at night (no wakings), naps 2-3 hours in the morning and 2 naps in the afternoon (usually 45 minute each but sometimes 1.5 hours). He can only tolerate being awake about 1.5 hours at a time and there is no mistaking when he is tired because he looks like this:



Our doc has given us the go ahead to start solids but uh...I don't want to!! He is 4.5 months and I'm not ready! We worked so hard on breastfeeding and it HURT for 3 months and I finally get to love the ease of it. Plus I'm in denial that he is growing up. Sigh.

Anyways - sorry for being MIA so long. Between a challenging baby and general malaise, I wasn't really up for it but I have loved reading all of your posts and hope to be a little more active!