PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[lliang_chi]

Dani, yes Haven's pretty accurate with the dream feed. It's a sleepy feed. They're not 100% knocked out cold, they're a little bit awake, so they'll suck with their eyes closed and still in a very sleepy state. Ethan was/is a champ dream feeder. They'll eventually pass out cold and stop eating so you don't have to worry about OVER FEEDING your baby. The concept is that wee babies are still too small and don't have the calories to sustain them a whole night's stretch. So the dream feed is to give them a "top up" so they can give you those few (precious) extra hours. I find bottle dream feeding easier because I'm like Haven and couldn't get Ethan to dream-nurse. But I think Pancake was able to.

Haven, I also liked bottle dreamfeed because J was able to do it and it was more bonding time for him and more me time for me. Although I typically just pumped during that time, yay, lucky me.

JGator, dude my mom was the SAME WAY with swaddling too. She was like, "I don't think you should do this. It's too tight. His too constricted and it'll restrict his growth." Really? Really? She would LITERALLY never swaddle him. Or just loosely drape the blanket across his body. And wince whenever I really TUCKED him in tight. Yeah so much for the "I'm not going to back seat parent" line she gave me before Ethan was born.... And for K's young age, she likely *IS* waking from hunger. So don't sweat popping her on the boob/bottle all the time. As they get older their needs become more like wants, where they WANT company, vs NEED sustenance.

~LC

 

[pancake]

Haha yes, LC is correct, S would take boob any old time any old how in the old days I didn't wake her for the dream feed, I'd just unwrap her and stick her on. She fed like a champ but the DF didn't work for us; it made her wake earlier in the MOTN than she otherwise would have anyway, so I tried it for a solid week and then gave it up. She started STTN just after 4 months anyway.

 

[Dandi]

Hi ladies, I hope everyone is doing well! I just thought I'd post this latest pic of Oscar, he has started smiling and laughing alot which melts my heart. He is doing so well, but unfortunately for me my emotions have really taken an abrupt turn. I hate to be typing this but I'm currently seeking help for PND. It's such a disappointment that I have this beautiful, healthy baby who is happy, feeds wonderfully and sleeps great... yet I feel sad and anxious all the time. The last few days I've cried and cried, and struggled to sleep. So many people tell me it's just part of being a new mum, but this does NOT feel right. I should be enjoying my gorgeous boy way more than I am. So I have sought help and feel a bit better for it already.

Sorry for the downer post, but I feel the need to 'get it out there' that things aren't as rosy as they were, and that if anyone else feels this way (which I sincerely hope no one does!!!) PLEASE talk to someone. It really helps. I've also started a low dose antidepressant which I was hoping to avoid, but I am at my wit's end. I really want to nip this in the bud before it gets worse.

Again, sorry for the dark post. Here's my beautiful boy enjoying his activity mat!

 

[Haven]

Big hugs, Andi. I hope you find comfort soon, and can start enjoying your beautiful boy every second!

 

[Puppmom]

Dandi, I'm so glad you thought better of the poor "that's just how it is" advice and are seeking help. Good for you! I hope that soon you feel like yourself.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Dandi, I am so sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I think I mentioned to you before that the first few weeks were really hard for me too. It is such a scary place to be, and I am so glad you sought help. I too felt guilty that I wasn't enjoying my baby as much as I imagined I would, and even more so because I had tried so hard to get pregnant. I think it was around 4 weeks that the cloud finally lifted and I didn't feel so sad and anxious all the time. And a couple weeks after that, I started to enjoy my baby, when he wasn't colicky. These days I am truly loving my new role. I know it doesn't feel like it now but you too will get to a much better place. And hopefully the medication helps you cope in the meantime. I do think these feelings are much more common than we realize. So glad we have a place to talk about these things, and I hope you will feel free to come here for support or to vent. I'm thinking of you and sending a virtual hug your way. You are a good mom and your little guy loves you so much and knows you love him.

 

[Dandi]

Thanks so much Haven, pupp and mp. I felt pretty low for the first 4 weeks but then really started to feel normal and more myself, and was thoroughly enjoying being a mum. Those feelings just returned in the last week, to my surprise, but are worse. It's so disappointing, I thought I was over the worst of it, I just feel so sad. Thankfully I have a ton of support including you fabulous ladies, I know this will pass and I will love being a mum again, but like all things it will take time. I will survive!!

 

[JGator]

Dandi, hang in there. It's tough being a new mom and the sleep deprivation really makes everything so much harder. It will get better, and Oscar is just adorable.

LC, I had to share my Mom's latest comment. "We need to get her out of this mummy thing!" when referring to the swaddle this AM. Sounds like our Moms are pretty similar!

ETA, Dandi, I also experienced some anxiety in pregnancy, and I had one "freak out" night at the hospital (I was roaming the halls one night feeling anxious and closed in in my hospital room). You might look into yoga if you haven't already as it really helped me relax and alleviated the anxiety I had during pregnancy.

 

[lulu66]

mlk so glad Lucas is home & doing great! I love that last photo of you & him

jgator mom's can be so funny about what they fixate on. I'll do something and my mom has to make her comment (most recently that I may comfort Ellie too fast) then follow it up with, "well, I don't know...maybe I'm wrong...I'm sure you're probably fine; she won't be spoiled [insert whatever here]." glad week 1 at work is going well. k's three month photo is adorable...those eyes! just gorgeous!

mp I think Ellie's disdain for tummy time led her to roll over so soon. but ever baby is so different. I started reading "The Wonder Weeks" & thought of you & Ev bc the author mentions that the fussiest & "demanding" babies often end up the most intellectual. I think you are going to have a smart little man on your hands!

haven 6 hrs 45 mins?! niiiiice! Ellie had what we thought was baby acne, which ended up being baby eczema. the pedi recommended 1% cortisone cream, wearing only cotton clothes (her & us), and washing our clothes in the free & clear detergent. it has cleared up perfectly. ahhh, the dream feed; I haven't been able to make it work for the reason you cite: I can't get Elle in & out of the bassinet without fully waking her. maybe I'll try the bottle too. I've started pumping but can't quite get a schedule down. I need to prioritize it!

lc Ellie does have a mind of her own. she's going to be stubborn & easily frustrated (just like her dad), I do believe. walking & sttn?! what a big week for you all!

andi the smiling & laughing is the best! i'm so proud of you for not brushing off how you're feeling! I know soon you will be feeling like yourself again & enjoying Oscar!! are you back on bc? the reason i ask is 2 of my friends mentioned that they experienced PPD after starting the LO Efestrine FE pill. thinking of you; please update with us often! the smiling photo just warms my heart--O is such a cutie!

AFU, Ellie's been having some trouble at her afternoon nap this week. normally it's at least two hours & now only 45 min to 1 hour & she wakes up scream crying (that's very unusual for her). then we've been having some trouble getting her down at night. hopefully it will pass soon.

Wanted to give a book recommendation. I just picked up The Wonder Weeks on the recommendation of a friend two days ago & I'm amazed. here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/The-Wonder-We...8&qid=1359566997&sr=1-1&keywords=wonder+weeks

from the description: "The Wonder Weeks. How to stimulate your baby's mental development and help him turn his 10 predictable, great, fussy phases into magical leaps forward" describes in easy-to-understand terms the incredible developmental changes and regression periods that all babies go through during the first 20 months of their lives.

we just entered week 8, which is the fussiest time before leap 2. the descriptions of behaviors the author gives are so spot on for our experiences! I could have written this chapter! it's so nice to know I'm not alone or crazy (as a first time mom, I wonder "do other babies do ________?" incessantly.).

 

[monkeyprincess]

Lulu, a few people have told me the same thing about "high needs" babies, and I'm always like, "Yup, that's got to be it. I've got a genius on my hands!" However, I do wonder if there is something to it though because my husband is freakishly smart, and was one of those gifted children who soaked up information and kept his mom very busy apparently, and to this day, he needs to know how everything works and practically has a photographic memory. So, if it turns out Ev is a bright little guy, I'll know where it came from. And it's not me! I think you're right that most babies learn to roll over because they would rather be on their backs, but Ev copes with it by face planting, wailing and refusing to move. Hmmm, maybe he's not that smart after all! Either way, I adore the little guy. Sorry to hear you're having trouble with naps and putting E to sleep. I'm sure it is just a phase. And that book sounds really interesting. Wish I had known about it earlier when I was struggling so much and before I had to return to work.

JGator, I think it is a generational thing. I know my MIL thinks I'm doing a lot of things wrong. She doesn't think a baby should be swaddled beyond a couple weeks. She also has a really big hang-up about us not bundling Ev up enough in his carseat. (We use one of those shower cap covers and dress him in light layers.) We tried to explain it is safer not to have him in a bulky snowsuit and that he would also get too warm, but she always makes a comment about how he must be so cold. I know a lot has changed since he had babies, and I think her daughter was more willing to go along with her suggestions than I am.

Dandi, you are so wise to stay on top of it and realize that you aren't quite feeling right. I have no doubt you will get through this challenging time, and I really hope the medication helps you.

Hi to everyone else!

I'm home today because we had some bad weather, and I kind of felt yucky, so I didn't want to deal with the traffic. Unfortunately, I'm not being nearly as productive as I had hoped I would be working from home, and I'm having a hard time resisting picking up Ev from daycare. What to do....

 

[Buttons]

Hi ladies!

Typing on my phone so can't see all the replies but wanted to reach out to Dandi particularly and say you are not alone and I admire you so much for knowing when to go and seek support and that I am sending you lots and lots of virtual hugs...

AFU I think we are going through the 4 month growth spurt. I downloaded the app version of today Wonder Years book a few days ago and we're slap bang in the target zone for leap 4. T is being crazy clingy and wanting to nurse all the time. He woke every hour last night and would latch on and then dream feed for 45 mins. This went on until 5am and then he finally did a 2 hour stretch. Plus DH has some kind of sinusy dose thing so he was comatose all night. Today I feel flu-y but am hoping it's just tiredness.

Hope you are all well!

 

[Missy0483]

Just a quick update:

I had the MRI done of my heart, I can't remember if I posted about it or not. I was born with a heart murmur. They were checking for narrowing/high pressure of an artery near the aorta. The echocardiogram I had done in November only showed the general area of the high pressure. They were worried it may be a condition called "coarctation of the aorta" which can lead to high blood pressure, stroke, aneurysms etc. if not corrected and can lead to problems in you're pregnant. Turns out the narrowing/high pressure was the pulmonary artery (branches off of the aorta) which is where my murmur is located. So all is good. Now on to other good news...we are officially TTC now! I was finishing up my pack of BC and I asked DH if I should refill, he said "No, I'm ready now if you are!" So Saturday was my last bc pill. Everything kind of fell into place with timing (finishing BC and then good results for the MRI). We were waiting to make sure I was healthy. So on to the next journey...

 

[lliang_chi]

Hooray! I wanted to pop in and cheer you on Missy! I'm so happy you're ready to continue growing your family. I'll totally be keeping tabs on you in the TTC thread

 

[monkeyprincess]

Missy, I'm so glad to hear that you do not have any additional heart conditions to be concerned about. I will be thinking of you as you start this next chapter of your life. Your future baby is going to have an amazing guardian angel watching over him or her, I'm sure of it.

 

[pancake]

We (husb and I) are cheering you on from afar too Missy!

 

[JGator]

Great news Missy! Wishing you a quick and easy TTC journey. And, MP is right, your baby will have a wonderful guardian angel.

 

[Haven]

Wonderful news, Missy!

I just got home from our first outing just the two of us! B and I went to our first new moms group today, and it was awesome. I wore him in the Moby so I wouldn't have to carry the car seat inside, and he slept for most of the class until he woke up to nurse. There are six other women in the group, and I think I'm really going to enjoy it. The only negative about it is that it meets in this super cute boutique store, so I spent a lot of money after the meeting. I bought some cloth diapering things that we needed and . . . two super cute yet very expensive Boob brand nursing tops. They seem so much nicer than the stuff I bought from Motherhood Maternity, which is already looking old and getting misshapen after a few washes.

 

[lulu66]

missy good luck! you are still in my thoughts and prayers.

haven doesn't it make you feel like super woman to get out by yourself? glad you enjoyed your mommy group!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Haven, so glad you're enjoying the class! I also did my mom classes through a boutique store and spent too much money, but it worked out well because we could test all the products in class first.

I'm a huge fan on the mom group. Even though we've all gone back to work, we still meet on the weekends. And we've found other classes to take with our kids as they've gotten older (three of us start a gymnastics class next week). I always say that having a mom group and a great mom group instructor really made the first few months more enjoyable for me.

Missy, I think about you all the time and am happy to hear that you're ready for this new journey.

 

[Haven]

Thanks ladies! Lulu--I totally felt like Superwoman!
Brienz was all SCORE ONE FOR B AND MAMAAAAAA!


NEL--I can already tell this is going to be a really wonderful experience for me. After just one meeting I already feel a million times better. I'm so happy I signed up, I was really on the fence.

I've been scouring the Internet in search of baby-friendly places I can take Brienz. AMC theatres has Bring Your Baby matinees every Tuesday, I am SO going to be in that theatre every week! http://www.amctheatres.com/programs/bring-your-baby

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks ladies! Lulu--I totally felt like Superwoman!
Brienz was all SCORE ONE FOR B AND MAMAAAAAA!

Ha ha ha! Way to go Haven and baby B! Darling picture. Ev is actually wearing that very same outfit today, or at least he was when he left for daycare, but from what I can see on the webcam, he has since been changed into one of his backup outfits. Oh, Everett

 

[Puppmom]

Just a little humor for you guys. When I saw this video I could totally relate. I've definitely been this desperate!

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?sns=em&v=MLErNXIYjMg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DMLErNXIYjMg%26sns%3Dem

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Missy, I am cheering for you too! Very exciting news and you are such an incredibly strong mama!

 

[lliang_chi]

So, Ethan woke up at 2AM last night. And I totally forgot all about the sleep training, and climbed into the crib with him so he'd go back to sleep. #MommyFail. Oh well, better luck tonight...

 

[Kunzite]

So, Ethan woke up at 2AM last night. And I totally forgot all about the sleep training, and climbed into the crib with him so he'd go back to sleep. #MommyFail. Oh well, better luck tonight...

You climbed into the crib. Please elaborate! I need a visual!!

 

[Haven]

Dropping in to thank Lulu for the rec for The Wonder Weeks!
My mom rented it from her library and I am loving it!

 

[bobbin]

Hi ladies!

We are still here!

Haven: I LOVE my mom's group. It keeps me sane. We still meet weekly and I look forward to it every week. We are even just about to start planning a joint 1st birthday party for all the babies in April. The first outing on your own is scary, isn't it? I still remember mine. DH was still off work and I made him drive me and pick me up so I wouldn't have to worry about getting the pram in/out of the car etc.

Missy: I am so glad to hear you are ready to TTC again. I look forward to seeing you post about your BFP. I just know Blake will be the best big brother guardian angel to his little brother or sister.

Dandi: Thankyou for posting about how you are feeling. I've actually just had a Dr's appointment today and am going back on Thursday to be evaluated for depression/PND. I have been struggling with it for months and not really felt up to doing anything about it but it is getting to breaking point now. Are you bf'ing? Do the antidepressants interfere with that?

Hmmm.. I can hear C stirring so I am going to skip to the AFU! Selfish, I know.

Charlotte is 9 months old now.

Good things:
She loves to giggle and smile. She has recently learnt to clap and wave, which is the cutest thing ever. She can say Mum, Dad, bup (either pup or up, we're not sure) and other babbling words. She is walking - around 10 steps at a time, and is gaining more and more control every day. She can now walk a few steps, stop, remain standing and then walk a few more steps.

I signed up to do a 12 week challenge through my gym. I have lost about 8 kilos since last August, but I have another 7kg to go before I am at pre-preg weight. I am really looking forward to getting into it!

Bad things:
C's sleep got back to normal-ish over Christmas, but she has started teething again (molars, eek!) and she is waking up at about 12am and screaming, arching etc and staying awake for about 2 hours, even if we give her panadol when she wakes up. Ugh.

I am back at work and have mixed feelings about it. I enjoy the work, but I miss C so much, childcare disrupts her routine and sleep and I am just exhausted by the end of the week trying to fit everything in.

As I mentioned above to Dandi, I am being assessed for PND. I have been feeling fairly flat and low for a few months, and have become increasingly resentful and angry at DH, for both valid and invalid reasons. I think we need marriage counselling too, but I want to get my depression (if that is what it is) under control first.

I have had two scary experiences in the last few weeks too. The first one was Charlotte choking on some food. I called the ambulance, but luckily by the time I was put through to an operator she had cleared it with my help. The second I accidentally locked her in my car. I had locked the passenger side doors which I don't normally do so when I got to where I was going I did my usual routine of stop the car, put my keys in my bag on the passenger seat, get out, lock my door, go around to the other side and then I found the whole car locked with C and my bag (and phone) inside. It was scary. I ran immediately to the office of the church I was at for pilates and they called the automobile association to come out and break into the car for me. She was in there for about 10 minutes. It was a 30degree celcius day and the car was in the sun. The last few minutes I could see she was going red and getting really sweaty and I started to panic and feel like she was going to die. The second time in weeks I had felt like that. She was fine, luckily. A few minutes in the aircon and some water and she wanted to get down and play. I felt awful and still do. The police came out and interviewed me too! But they just wanted to hear what happened and after I told them they just thanked me and left. I guess they just need to make sure that I hadn't left her in the car while I went shopping or something negligent.

 

[lulu66]

Dropping in to thank Lulu for the rec for The Wonder Weeks!
My mom rented it from her library and I am loving it!

glad you're enjoying it. I went back & reread the chapter about our current "leap" the other night bc I was feeling so frustrated, bordering on resentful, over Ellie's fussiness. it really helped me decompress & remember "this is normal; she's learning & needs to feel safe; this too shall pass."


bobbin I'm so terrified and paranoid that I'm going to lock Ellie in the car! how scary for you! so glad someone was able to respond quickly & Charlotte bounced right back! clapping & waving? how cute! I know you're enjoying this precious time

 

[monkeyprincess]

Lulu, I might have to get that book! E was a bit challenging this weekend, and now I'm curious if he is undergoing some sort of growth spurt or leap or whatever.

Bobbin, yikes, sorry you have had such scary experiences recently. Big hugs. I'm glad you are seeking out some help. I'm not on antidepressants nor am I nursing, but my SIL took antidepressants for PPD while nursing her little one. I believe it was Zoloft, and it is supposedly one of the safer ones for breastfeeding mothers.

Hello to all the other moms!

AFU, we had our first public meltdown last night in a restaurant, and it was traumatizing. Ev has been pretty good about going to loud restaurants and sleeping in his carrier the whole time, but not last night. He woke up suddenly and was apparently hungry (even though he had just eaten 1.5 hours earlier), and the bottle was really cold, and he just could not be soothed no matter what I did, which is unusual for him. Normally, he stops fussing pretty quickly if he is held. We had to get our food to go and rush out in shame. A couple people were really nice to us about it, but I noticed others giving us the stink eye. Guess we won't be trying that again for awhile.

 

[Buttons]

Missy I am so happy to hear your MRI went well and add me to your cheering squad! I'll be lurking in the TTC and preggo threads waiting for your happy news

Haven yay for your first solo outing and for finding a good Mommy group! With it being in a store does that mean they do product demos and stuff? Over here the Mammy groups are either informal coffee morning type things, or they are run by the health service / breastfeeding support organisations. I have seen those Boob tops online, they have a hoodie one I have been coveting now for months! If you like their stuff check out Seraphine.com - I have ordered off them before and been very happy with their products. You may like it (although I can't promise your wallet will!). I went to baby cinema when we were living back home and I loved it, soooo much fun. T just slept on my chest the whole time, it was bliss. The local cinema in the city near my new town has literally just started doing baby cinema (they got bought out by the chain that ran the one at home), so I am going to try that out tomorrow. I have no idea if T will sit through it now that he's older. They're showing Lincoln, hopefully it won't be too much for him. Love the photo of B!

Lliang you are cracking me up! The first thing I thought of when I read your post was that video Pupp had just posted

bobbin oh my God how scary that must have been! Quick thinking Mama to go in to the church and get help! I hope you are doing OK after all that drama. Good luck with the gym challenge - I just signed up for bootcamp and have been limping around the house for the last two days after the first session

monkey we seem to go through all the same bits together, guess it's a given with Ev and T being so close in age! I don't have the Wonder Weeks book but I downloaded the app (it's cheaper, and my experience of baby books has been that they just make me anxious so I now I just don't read them!) and sure enough there's a huge growth spurt/leap right about now T had an enormous meltdown in this swanky restaurant my ILs decided to go to the weekend before last. He was sleepy when we brought him in and we told them that but they still insisted on getting in his face and trying to play with him and then every time he dosed off they took photos of him - with flash - and woke him back up. So of course he had an almighty meltdown. DH and I took turns all through dinner to sit in the corridor with him until everyone else finished up and moved to the lobby for drinks, where they proceeded to repeat the whole performance with the cameras etc. In the end I just took him away, latched him on and fed him pacing up and down the lobby till he fell sound asleep. While I was doing that - and bear in mind T was quiet as a mouse at this point because he was falling asleep while nursing - this middle aged man passed me and leaned in and commented 'don't you think it's a bit noisy here for a baby?' Eh, thanks Mister, but (a) it wasn't my choice of venue, (b) the hubbub would normally help him sleep, and (c) who made it your business anyway?!? It's only my 0.02c but don't let idiots giving you the stink eye make you curtail your plans. Babies are as much a part of society as anyone else, and also the more you take Ev out and about the more he'll know how to behave. Anyone who shoots a dirty look at parents doing their best to soothe a tired/hungry/cranky baby is an idiot.

===

AFU T has been a little sick with his first cold, which troubled his Mammy and Daddy much more than it troubled him! He had a very slight temperature on Friday but we gave him baby paracetamol and it came right down and didn't go back up. Saturday he was very bunged up so I steamed up the bathroom and then took him into the bath with me, got all the gunk right out and he was breathing so much easier. He hasn't bunged back up since thank God. Yesterday and today he is back to normal.

I think we may be over the 4 month growth spurt too, I was looking back over my Baby Connect app and he was feeding for 5 and 6 hours a day last Wed / Thurs / Fri but yesterday he was back down to his more usual 2 / 3 hours. It will be interesting to see what he does today. He is sleeping like a champ the last couple of days (during the day only - although he did manage a 4 hour stretch last night), hopefully that will continue.

I am on tenterhooks this week as one of my bridesmaids was due her first baby last week so it could literally be any day now! I don't have any sisters so I count this girl and my other bridesmaid - who is due in June! - as sisters and as far as I'm concerned this baby will be T's first cousin. I'm praying she will have an easy L&D and that all will be well. I am SO excited!