PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[TravelingGal]

TDM, if it is working best for you, who am I to say otherwise? My only point was needs of the day vs wants and are your needs really needs, or can they be worked around? Needs do not happen with frequency (doc''s appointments, etc). Wants occur when mothers, well, WANT. Let''s take Pandora for an example (hope you don''t mind Pandora - I always thought you had a thick skin, so I''ll mention you by name)...she wants to go Tate Modern...is that a need? Probably not, but she wants to go and she has always maintained that she believes Daisy can work within their lives. It works very well for Pandora and I''ve always respected her decisions to run her family the way they want to live life and her ability to know what Daisy can handle. Is it the way I do it? Nope. But Pandora and I each know what kind of mothers we are, and I think we are both good mothers.

So what I am saying is be honest with what kind of mom you are and run with it. Different methods can work. I value sleep, schedules and consistency. Others believe children can flexible and can adapt to more free flowing days. We all adjust things/phillosophies when we realize the critters have personalities of their own too! It''s all part of being a mom and generally speaking, moms know their kids and family structure best.

Final comment for HSHHC readers or people curious about it. There is no scheduling in HSHHC "to the letter." The book gives guidelines based on when children generally naturally wake up. If your child wants to nap at 10 vs 9, that''s when he naps. Amelia had one nap at 11:30am for the longest time and that is not "textbook" HHSHC, but it was what worked for her.

What HSHHC DOES say to to protect and respect the nap. Obviously you do this whenever POSSIBLE. If there are days when a mom has a doc appointment, sick dog or whatever, missing ONE nap (or pushing it back) will not derail anything that badly because the kid is on a schedule and will fall back into it just fine (the book also mentions this). But if you are going to keep CONSISTENLY shuffling things around because you want to meet friends or whatever during naps, then that''s when things can get muddy in terms of HSHHC.

 

[fieryred33143]

TDM-I''m probably not the best person to agree with you since Sophia doesn''t STTN but we also follow a flex schedule and it works for us. We do it though mostly because we refuse to give up on our lifestyle. We have given up some things like going out dancing (won''t that be a sight...mom shaking her booty to some merengue while Sophia plays on her tummy mat. Although that is what she has to endure when I''m home cleaning but that''s what therapists are for).

We are still very last minute/get up and go people so if we get a last minute invitation, it always interferes with a nap schedule if Sophia were on one but she isn''t. She sleeps when she''s tired. Like I mentioned before I follow her cues no matter where we are or what we are doing. What Tgal described about overtired and up for the next 8 hours also happened to us so I''ve accustomed Sophia to sleep whenever, wherever. It mimicks a lot of what my parents used to do with me. We would visit my family and while my dad and uncles played the congas and my mom gossiped with my aunts my cousins and I would be passed out on the couch and floor. Today''s parent would have a heart attack at the thought.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/26/2009 1:58:07 PM
Author: TanDogMom



Totally agree with your last sentence! Just to clarify, we do have a loose schedule. In theory it would make sense to have a working mom''s child on a strict schedule; this is what I thought too. However, while I was preggo and visited a few highly rated daycares (because I was planning to go back full time) I asked them if they would enforce the schedule that I had my kid on. They said they would try, but no promises! They seemed a little put off by my request, I guess because they have so many kids to look after that it might be hard to enforce a different schedule for each. So I would definitely check in with your child care provider as to whether they prefer your kid be highly scheduled or not. And of course, a lot of what works or doesn''t work will depend on your child!

I would not expect a daycare/preschool to adjust to my child''s schedule. Thus I chose to do a nanny in the early years of Amelia''s life. But daycare is all about routine (they have to be as you said...they have lots of kids and can''t deal with different schedules), so the child would be on a consistent schedule every day, which is a good thing. Their schedules are also pretty "normal" and shouldn''t be all that different from a kid on a regular schedule.

I just picked up a preschool schedule this week for the one I put my kid on a wait list. Guess what? breakfast before 8, lunch midday, naptime at 12:30 for a couple of hours and afternoon play. Boy, that schedule sounds like a normal routine for kids that age! Amelia will be on that schedule when she enters preschool sometime between 2 and 2.5. Preschool is highly scheduled, so I guess my highly scheduled child will do pretty well in it.

Can you tell I TOTALLY want to put off making Thanksgiving dinner today?

 

[fieryred33143]

Seeing Tgal''s last note I wanted to clarify that Sophia is on somewhat of a schedule at MILs during the day but its one that she (Sophia) set herself. She''s typically awake for 2 hours before she takes a nap. How long of a nap is totally up to her. This morning for example she woke at 8, we ate and played, she took a nap at 10 for 45 minutes, ate and played again, slept at noon and is still sleeping. (We followed EASY for a whule and still do to an extent)

Definitely everyone is different. Schedules stress me out big time but if I ever see that our current routine is causing Sophia harm or that she''s not getting enough sleep as a result then I''ll adjust.

 

[NovemberBride]

Happy Thanksgiving Mommies!

I think this discussion of different sleep approaches is very interesting and helpful. I think we are likely to end up with a loose schedule like Pandora and TDM, partly because DH and I aren''t regimented people in general and partly because I believe that babies can adjust to your life to some degree (of course, we''ll also be adjusting our lives to her!) Our jobs also don''t lend themselves to a strict schedule as our hours, particularly mine, can vary greatly. I''ll be returning to work full time at 12 weeks, and for me that means some 15+ hour days. Olivia will be picked up at daycare by DH at 6, and won''t be home until 6:30. We wil likely have a later bedtime than most do for their babies so that I can see her and feed her when I get home. Many people won''t agree with this, but that''s ok with me. I have a pretty thick skin and as long as I know somethinhg works for my family, I don''t really care what anyone else thinks. My dad is in the same field I am (law) and we always had later bedtimes growing up because our parents thought it was more important that we see our dad than go to bed at 6. If it doesn''t end up working for us we''ll have to try something else, but that''s the plan so far.

Sabine, good luck with CIO. I think it''s something we will definitely end up trying at some point if necessary.

Here''s a picture of Olivia dressed up for her 1st Thanksgiving.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/26/2009 2:04:20 PM
Author: TravelingGal
What HSHHC DOES say to to protect and respect the nap. Obviously you do this whenever POSSIBLE. If there are days when a mom has a doc appointment, sick dog or whatever, missing ONE nap (or pushing it back) will not derail anything that badly because the kid is on a schedule and will fall back into it just fine (the book also mentions this). But if you are going to keep CONSISTENLY shuffling things around because you want to meet friends or whatever during naps, then that's when things can get muddy in terms of HSHHC.

Yes, this was my point too. We are in no way scheduled to the minute. If we're running late or the dogs are barking my kids don't get into a tizzy because they are late for a nap or a meal. BUT I do my absolute best to protect their naps when I can. If someone invites me somewhere during their naptime, I ask if we can meet a bit later instead. I still get my freedom to meet friends and get out a bit and they get their naps.

Obviously of course life gets in the way sometimes and my life is in no way predictable, but at the same time I know for *my kids* that they sleep so so much better in their cribs, during their regular nap times. If I disrupt their naptimes or let them nap in the car, in their stroller, etc. They are MUCH more unhappy and MUCH more likely to wake up during the night.

So for us protecting their naps is very important-especially when you are dealing with 2 babies. Because I would go insane if both of them were cranky, slept at different times each day, and both woke up 2x a night! And they are more often that way if they get bad naps. So it's for my own sanity as much as theirs.

I WISH my kids were able to get a great nap anywhere-but they have never been that way sadly. At least they can often sleep through the dogs barking at the UPS man (although I have asked him not to knock so we at least have a chance of the dogs not hearing him

). So for us, and for other kids like mine who don't sleep well in cars, or who get overtired very easily I DO think that scheduled naps are fabulous. They aren't for everyone certainly-but it is the FIRST thing I recommend if parents say their kids are cranky, waking a lot at night, not going to bed at a regular time, etc. Because I really do think it works well for many kids.

TDM: I am so sorry if you felt criticized-I hope I didn't make you feel that way because that wasn't my intention at all. Like TGal, I was just talking through my reasoning behind decisions and what I have observed with my twins club. But I totally think everyone needs to do what works as long as it works.

 

[vizsla]

gobble gobble!
DH has baby so i''m going to post!
re: tongue snipping.. we have our 1 month apt on tuesday and am going to ask the pedi about it. right now we are suck training with a soothie paci and our finger. i am back on the nipple shield for every other feeding and hope to nurse him again exclusively on the boob starting tomorrow. however, i KNOW his latch is still lazy and i will have major problems again if i nursed him directly on the boob. i have total confidence we will get this worked out, but it stinks right now

one bonus is that i have a supply of milk and am enjoying a glass of red wine --- also DS doesn''t give a hoot if he''s getting fed with a bottle, nipple shield, boob, warm formula, cold breastmilk etc. he just wants to eat. our lactation consultant was very positive that babies are smart enough and nipple confusion isn''t really an issue unless the parents make it an issue. if there is one good thing about all of this, i can see the advantage of having a child who can go very easily between the three. DH has been AWESOME in regards to feeding C. he wakes up at night with me and does every feeding during the day as well while i pump. pumping every feeding totally sucks and i can''t even fathom having to pump AND feed every day, all day long - with the making of the bottles, then washing, then pumping, then washing pump equipt. etc. it''s all just SOOOO much!

we have been supplementing with nutramagin (sp?) and we had our FIRST totally YELLOW POO today. who would have thunk i would be ssoooo obsessed with the color of poo?!?!

anyoo, we had another meeting with our LC and we have a plan to get him to EBF (with pumping). hopefully we will have this thing worked out before C''s 10th birthday i keed i keed. it does seem a bit wack-o that i am sooo committed to BF, since i will be supplementing once i go back to work, but i never thought i would feel the NEED to do it. so weird.

as far as splitting the thread ..... it makes me sad

while i know it makes sense when a newbie is rehashing the same troubles some of the more seasoned mom''s already went thru... it is soooo helpful to have that "knowledge". i know thru all of these trials with C it has been so helpful to have the "been there done that, you will get thru it" back up from other moms.

oh, C slept in his bassinet for a whole 4 hours last night.... we are on the up and up with him being ''alone'' while sleeping. although, i''m not rushing anything and actually LOVE snuggling with him most of the day... my expectations are pretty low in regards to STTN.

hey mandy!!!!! i can''t WAIT to start running again!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/26/2009 2:43:45 PM
Author: neatfreak

Yes, this was my point too. We are in no way scheduled to the minute. If we''re running late or the dogs are barking my kids don''t get into a tizzy because they are late for a nap or a meal. BUT I do my absolute best to protect their naps when I can. If someone invites me somewhere during their naptime, I ask if we can meet a bit later instead. I still get my freedom to meet friends and get out a bit and they get their naps.

Obviously of course life gets in the way sometimes and my life is in no way predictable, but at the same time I know for *my kids* that they sleep so so much better in their cribs, during their regular nap times. If I disrupt their naptimes or let them nap in the car, in their stroller, etc. They are MUCH more unhappy and MUCH more likely to wake up during the night.

I agree with this, this is sort of how I look at it too.

***

I think it is important to know that for me at least, when I think about Hunter''s day it is not a timed schedule, it is a routine that we follow. Because Hunter is used to things generally happening in a pattern, HE is very routine. He is hungry around the same times, tired, etc etc. So I feel like this discussion has gotten off track -- it is not a case of clock watch versus complete chaos! Its important to remember that because sometimes a mom who follows one type of parenting style more than the other may find it isn''t working. And then we may want to try something new. But if you are a laisse fair parent and you think the only alternative is to start keeping a strict schedule then it will seem hopeless to change! Because you won''t do it! Same goes the other way.

Sometimes, even with the most flexible parenting, it cannot hurt to try and have a consistent bedtime, for example, or to try and feed meals at the same times each day. Those are simple things! On the other hand, even the most scheduled parent *should* let theyr kid nap in the carseat or stroller once in a while if it means getting out of the house and having some fun. Balance!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/26/2009 3:45:42 PM
Author: vizsla

as far as splitting the thread ..... it makes me sad

while i know it makes sense when a newbie is rehashing the same troubles some of the more seasoned mom''s already went thru... it is soooo helpful to have that ''knowledge''. i know thru all of these trials with C it has been so helpful to have the ''been there done that, you will get thru it'' back up from other moms.

The whole reason to split is simply numbers. It gets to be so many people that no one can manage it! It doesn''t have anything to do with oldies thinking the newbies are so boring

 

[Dreamer_D]

Shhhhhh... I don''t want to jinx it... but

Hunter just put himself back to sleep from his nap!!

This is the first time ever! He woke after only 40 minutes and I know he is really tired so I hope he sleeps another hour or more.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/26/2009 4:42:54 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 11/26/2009 2:43:45 PM

Author: neatfreak


Yes, this was my point too. We are in no way scheduled to the minute. If we're running late or the dogs are barking my kids don't get into a tizzy because they are late for a nap or a meal. BUT I do my absolute best to protect their naps when I can. If someone invites me somewhere during their naptime, I ask if we can meet a bit later instead. I still get my freedom to meet friends and get out a bit and they get their naps.


Obviously of course life gets in the way sometimes and my life is in no way predictable, but at the same time I know for *my kids* that they sleep so so much better in their cribs, during their regular nap times. If I disrupt their naptimes or let them nap in the car, in their stroller, etc. They are MUCH more unhappy and MUCH more likely to wake up during the night.

I agree with this, this is sort of how I look at it too.


***


I think it is important to know that for me at least, when I think about Hunter's day it is not a timed schedule, it is a routine that we follow. Because Hunter is used to things generally happening in a pattern, HE is very routine. He is hungry around the same times, tired, etc etc. So I feel like this discussion has gotten off track -- it is not a case of clock watch versus complete chaos! Its important to remember that because sometimes a mom who follows one type of parenting style more than the other may find it isn't working. And then we may want to try something new. But if you are a laisse fair parent and you think the only alternative is to start keeping a strict schedule then it will seem hopeless to change! Because you won't do it! Same goes the other way.


Sometimes, even with the most flexible parenting, it cannot hurt to try and have a consistent bedtime, for example, or to try and feed meals at the same times each day. Those are simple things! On the other hand, even the most scheduled parent *should* let theyr kid nap in the carseat or stroller once in a while if it means getting out of the house and having some fun. Balance!

I totally agree with you both, esp with DD's last paragraph.

Neatfreak, no need to apologize, but thank you anyway. I know you and TGal were both being helpful and did not mean to ruffle my feathers (Thanksgiving analogy!) I felt frurstrated that I must not have been explaining myself well, because I did feel some of my points were jumped on or picked apart a little. I don't mean to rehash; it has been a good discussion overall. I am confident that if we (meaning all of us on this thread) could sit down and talk, we would have an interesting and cordial discussion even if we didn't agree (re: scheduling, or CIO, or whatever else). The problem with typing is that you lose the tone, and also the ability to clarify a point in real time. Oh well.


DD, I hadn't thought about it quite the way you put it, but I like that. Maybe I should describe our days as more of a ROUTINE than a SCHEDULE. By the clock, each day is a little different. But in terms of the order of events, there are some things that we always do in the same order. For example, I do protect his naps and he is a much happier baby when he has them. I don't think a day has gone by that he has not had at least 2 opportunities to nap in his crib. But, these are NOT always at the exact same time every day. And he seems to be just fine with it. I agree with DD that there is a whole RANGE of things between watching the clock to the minute and complete chaos. I think many of us fall in the middle of that spectrum.

Sometimes it's hard to know what is "working", at least in my opinion. I mean, sometimes things are just NOT WORKING, obviously. But sometimes we just have a great day or an off day and it doesn't seem like it's necessarily something I did differently. And since no kid is perfect, it seems like there is always the possibility for things to be working better - but on the other hand you hate to mess with something that is working pretty well most of the time.

Sabine I wish you good luck tonight. A also would not sleep for long unless he was being held, but he gradually grew out of it. I can't remember anything in particular that we did that worked; we just kept trying different things. Honestly I think it was when he was able to flip over (around 4 months) and started sleeping on his stomach that he would finally sleep on his own in the crib. We did not want to cosleep so we had a really hard time up til that point. Nights were OK, naps were a nightmare. Anyway, let us know how it goes!

 

[E B]

Date: 11/26/2009 6:30:22 AM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 11/25/2009 7:50:34 PM

Author: TanDogMom

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Regarding Babywise... I read the book and liked some of it. Then, a friend pointed me in the direction of this website: http://www.ezzo.info

After reading more about the author's qualifications (or lack of!) and some of the criticisms of the book, and especially after I found out that Ezzo is a very fundamentalist Christian with a big time agenda, I found I felt quite differently about the book.

I'd recommend people to have a look at the website and draw their own conclusions.

More info about Babywise

This shocked me almost as much as the book I picked up in Waterstone's last week which was called something like Your Baby Week By Week. Just out of curiosity I turned to the week for Daisy's age, where it advised to start CIO and warned that 'your child may well cry until they vomit so make sure to have spare sheets on hand. Walk in and change the sheets if the child gets distressed to this point, but be sure not to pick the child up and resist any form of eye contact with them'.

It made me feel physically sick...

JC, are you serious? How awful.

TDM, thank you for posting the link to that website. I found myself nodding as I read many of those points. One of the most important points, IMO, is this:

One Size Doesn't Fit All. All babies and mothers are treated alike without any respect given for individual differences in breastmilk storage capacity, rate of milk synthesis, rate of infant metabolism or stomach capacity. In actuality, the number of feedings one mother's body requires in order to supply her baby with plenty of milk each day will be quite different from other mothers around her. Similarly, breastfed babies need varying amounts milk in varying numbers and sizes of feedings, and they do not feed exactly the same way from one feeding to the next in any case. Ezzo seemingly expects all babies to respond in an identical manner. This is no more realistic than expecting adults to consume the same amounts of food on the same schedule and grow (or lose weight!) at the same rate.

...which is what I commented on a few weeks earlier when we were discussing CIO/eliminating night time feedings. I believe I read here that someone's (or multiple) pediatrician/s said babies don't need night time feedings after a certain number of months (four?) but my five month old still DRAINS a side an average twice a night. He's a growing child. There's simply no *magic* age a child no longer needs night time feedings. Now, if a baby simply comfort nibbles, it's clear s/he doesn't need a night time feed, but that's a different discussion for a different time.

As for STTN, I've seen this happen in a few places for new parents online- a few mothers get lucky with LOs that STTN, and other women start to feel as though their babies are abnormal if they wake once, twice, or more in the middle of the night. I saw these women asking why their babies weren't STTN at two months of age! Some babies do, of course, but it isn't the norm. Like Blen, Pandora and TDM (I think?), I didn't (and don't) expect my son to STTN at a certain age- he'll STTN when he STTN. When he cries in the middle of the night, it's because he's hungry. Or recently, because he's teething, and I'll let him chew on my finger or give him some teething tabs until he falls asleep. This is all pretty easy as I just have to turn to my side. Not a foot out of bed.

I will say that it's interesting going from community to community and reading about what's considered acceptable and what's not by each group. CIO seems to be pretty accepted here, but in another active parenting community I'm a member of, it's very frowned upon. (And no, that other parenting community isn't the ultra-AP mothering.com!

) Not saying either 'side' is right, it's just interesting to hear points from each of the two schools of thought. I don't happen to practice it myself, but I may once I feel my child is old enough to try to manipulate. Right now, he isn't- he just found his toes.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans in the group!

Headed to my THIRD Thanksgiving of the day.

 

[E B]

(I had to quickly pop back in to comment on the GORGEOUS babies in this thread. Beautiful little ones!)

And TDM, re: my ring- thank you so much! Did you ever post photos of your Ritani sapphire halo? Did I see it? Da*n mommy brain.

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 11/26/2009 2:05:13 PM
Author: fiery
TDM-I''m probably not the best person to agree with you since Sophia doesn''t STTN but we also follow a flex schedule and it works for us. We do it though mostly because we refuse to give up on our lifestyle. We have given up some things like going out dancing (won''t that be a sight...mom shaking her booty to some merengue while Sophia plays on her tummy mat. Although that is what she has to endure when I''m home cleaning but that''s what therapists are for).

We are still very last minute/get up and go people so if we get a last minute invitation, it always interferes with a nap schedule if Sophia were on one but she isn''t. She sleeps when she''s tired. Like I mentioned before I follow her cues no matter where we are or what we are doing. What Tgal described about overtired and up for the next 8 hours also happened to us so I''ve accustomed Sophia to sleep whenever, wherever. It mimicks a lot of what my parents used to do with me. We would visit my family and while my dad and uncles played the congas and my mom gossiped with my aunts my cousins and I would be passed out on the couch and floor. Today''s parent would have a heart attack at the thought.

*cough cough*
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

 

[Pandora II]

Tgal - I shall rename myself as Rhino...

The most interesting thing I have found here is how so many of us had ideas on how we would parent before kiddo arrived, and how much many of us changed things once they arrived and we all discovered that they are no longer ''the baby'', but little people with their own very strong little opinions and characters!

I read the Baby Whisperer religiously whilst preggo and tried really hard at the beginning to schedule Daisy, always do things in the same order, never feed her to sleep, put her in her own bed, teach her to self-sooth and ended up exhausted with a baby who would scream in my arms for nearly an hour every night and who would be up all evening.

Once I started feeding her to sleep and co-sleeping things changed hugely, but I still keep the routines going as I think kids do like some kind of structure in their lives - so things happen in the same order just not at set times.

On the co-sleeping, I wanted to do this from the start, but convinced myself by reading books and talking to people that this was a bad idea, so whilst it became reactive it was something I was very happy to do and that DH is on board with as well.

It really is horses for courses, and one thing that can be said is that none of the PS Mommies are ''bad'' parents or don''t want anything but the best for our children and their happiness.

Blen - I think it''s definitely separation anxiety, she was a nightmare this evening, won''t even sit on DH''s knee. He seems to be fairly resigned to not being flavour of the month, but it is so exhausting being in demand ALL the time

She''s also suddenly become very ''affectionate'', wanting hugs and kisses which is very sweet, but unfortunately she is rather violent. Kissing me involves grabbing both my cheeks very hard, digging her nails in and then biting my chin hard with her one tooth. I have numerous scratches as a result of my child''s loving nature...

I don''t know how to handle this one - I don''t want to make her feel rejected or that showing affection is a bad thing, but she is a strong kid and I''m not that keen on big cuts down my cheeks either!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Blen That picture is AWESOME! Never in my life could I imagine Hunter falling asleep on the floor like that.

EBree I totally get everything you are saying but wanted to add one little thing just based on my observations-- Hunter used to do three full feeds at night time right up until he was 9 mo. Each time be would feed for about 15 to 30 minutes taking big gulps and really draining me. But I started to notice that in the daytime he really wasn''t taking a full feeding each time -- he nursed often but only for about 5-10 minutes. Basically, he was in the habit of nursing at night to get most of his calories, because it was dark and quiet and boring I suppose! Anyways, since night weaning he does a 30 minute feed in the morning then loooong feeds in the day. I only mention it because for a long time I thought that because he was eating at night he must *need* it for nutrition, but I guess it is all more complicated than that.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/26/2009 8:02:27 PM
Author: Pandora II

Blen - I think it''s definitely separation anxiety, she was a nightmare this evening, won''t even sit on DH''s knee. He seems to be fairly resigned to not being flavour of the month, but it is so exhausting being in demand ALL the time

She''s also suddenly become very ''affectionate'', wanting hugs and kisses which is very sweet, but unfortunately she is rather violent. Kissing me involves grabbing both my cheeks very hard, digging her nails in and then biting my chin hard with her one tooth. I have numerous scratches as a result of my child''s loving nature...

I don''t know how to handle this one - I don''t want to make her feel rejected or that showing affection is a bad thing, but she is a strong kid and I''m not that keen on big cuts down my cheeks either!

Hunter does this too

I try to keep his nails short, and what I do it just say "Please don''t scratch mommy" and continue hugging him. He usually gets diverted because he isn''t really trying to maul me, he just gets carried away. I suspect that Daisy is a little more persistent than Hunter at things

so you may need to be more authoritative. I think as long as you give her LOTS of attention and hugs when she is being gentle that positive reinforcement will balance and negative reinforcement you need to use by withdrawing attention when she is over enthusiastic.

Separation anxiety Hunter is in this phase too, it started around 8mo. I find it difficult how much he wants me with him, holding him, sitting right next to him all the time. When he is happy and just fed he will play by himself happily for 20 minutes or more -- I know, I am spoiled. But if he is tired at all he just wants to be with me. He whines a lot more now too. Those days are just so long and I am so tired at the end

 

[mela lu]

It just took me an hour to read and catch up. I doubt I'll be able to rememer everything I want to say, but here goes.

I read (and liked) Baby Whisperer, BabyWise and HSHHC. For me, I took what made sense from all 3 and used those lessons in my everyday approach. I cared less about the authors background and *possible* agenda, and more about the principles I agreed with. In the end the key were all "C's"
~Consistency
~Confidence
~Calm
I found that If I TRULY believed in the method and philosophy, then I was calm and confident and Romeo responded in a positive way. For example, call me naive, but BabyWise gave me the confidence to believe that if I fed him every 3 hrs, and made him sleep in between each feeding, then he would naturally start STTN (12 hrs) by 12 weeks. I believed. I was confident. I was calm, and I consistently followed this routine. It worked for me. Much like Phoenix, I just really trusted that he would STTN early. I never really considered an alternative. Luckily, Romeo is a very easy going baby and he responds well to ME being the boss of him. lol. I can see how a more 'spirited' baby would not respond as well; so nature does play a role.

Dreamer - I've been pushing Romy's bedtime later, around 7:30ish, and he's been waking up later for the past few days. 7:15, 7:30 and 7:20. It may be conicedence, but I'd be interested to see if Hunter wakes later too if you push his bedtime.

Sabine - the thing with CIO, I felt, was that there has to be consistency. If you're still going to feed him at night, I would be worried that he will be confused. "Why do I sometimes have to cry, and sometimes I get a bottle?!" I waited until I was confident that Romeo didnt need any night feedings before doing CIO. For us, it was 16 weeks old. Have you considered maybe waiting to start CIO when you're ready to wean the night feeds? That way, you'd be totally consistent. Just a thought.

Romeo's been doing this "thing" lately, where he wants to play with my face while nursing. I didn't mind, but now its transferred to betime. He lies there whining and waving his hands in the air because he wants to play with my face to calm himslef to sleep. OY! I am NOT subscribing to this. I have to wean him from this behaviour because I do not want to become his night-night-blankie. nuts.

Also, we had his 6 month check up and he's a total peanut! only 16lbs!! What a Tiny cutie, aka TUTIE.

I know there is more, so I'll just come back with some ETAs if I think of them.

ETA: Pandora and Mrs. Your girls are both just SO beautiful. Serioulsy good looking infants. WOW. Whats in the PS waters?
ETA2: Blen - hilar pic. I could never imagine that with Romy. Never. That is such a funny photo. One for the vault for sure.
ETA3: Nov - welcome to the other side! Olivia is such a tutie. A tiny cutie indeed. Awww. Great pic.
ETA4: Phoenix - I too started out with the goal of getting a full feeding everytime. I think it made all the difference. If you can believe it, I would strip Romy down every feeding to just his diaper to ensure he stayed awake an took his whole feed. It worked. He never fell asleep on the boob (ok, not never, but you know) and he naturally fell into the 2.5 hr feeding routine. I would then do a diaper change etc, and then 'rock' him to sleep, just as the book advised, and just as the Baby Whisperer suggests with EASY. What I did then was let him sleep as long as he wanted after 7pm or 8pm-ish (not wake him to feed) and he naturally started doing a longer stretch. Eventually, he dropped the 11pm feeding on his own, and would sleep from 7 or 8 pm until 1 or 2 am! This was my first step at STTN.

ETA5: Mandy! HI CHAMPION!!! I'm not a twin mom, but I will 'second' Neat's suggestion and "Stretching" their late evening feed. I found 'stretching' to be a savoiur in getting him to eliminate a feeding. It's more work for you at the time, but if STTN is a goal, then you just have to look at it as short term pain vs long term gain. I would set certain times as 'baselines', so if he woke up before the baseline, I would stretch him until (or after) that set baseline time. After about 3 nights of stretching, he never woke up before that time again. I would then just set the baseline time "later". Eventually, he would just sleep through that feeding entirely until the next feeding time. I hope this is making sense. I know what I'm trying to say but can't get it out properly. Anyways, I have no idea if that is feasible with twins, but I always said to myelf " there is no going backwards. If you slept until X last night, you can do it again tonight...I'll stretch you until you get there". Hope that babble helps. lol

 

[fieryred33143]

Blen that pic made my night!

November-Olivia is just so beautiful!!!

I''m so stuffed. I''ve gotten into the horrible habit of scarfing down my food which I think made me even fuller lol.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/26/2009 2:05:13 PM
Author: fiery
TDM-I'm probably not the best person to agree with you since Sophia doesn't STTN but we also follow a flex schedule and it works for us. We do it though mostly because we refuse to give up on our lifestyle. We have given up some things like going out dancing (won't that be a sight...mom shaking her booty to some merengue while Sophia plays on her tummy mat. Although that is what she has to endure when I'm home cleaning but that's what therapists are for).


We are still very last minute/get up and go people so if we get a last minute invitation, it always interferes with a nap schedule if Sophia were on one but she isn't. She sleeps when she's tired. Like I mentioned before I follow her cues no matter where we are or what we are doing. What Tgal described about overtired and up for the next 8 hours also happened to us so I've accustomed Sophia to sleep whenever, wherever. It mimicks a lot of what my parents used to do with me. We would visit my family and while my dad and uncles played the congas and my mom gossiped with my aunts my cousins and I would be passed out on the couch and floor. Today's parent would have a heart attack at the thought.

Fiery I meant to reply to you. Thanks for agreeing with me. I love your post for the mental images if nothing else! Mom shaking her booty to some merengue while Sophia plays on her tummy mat!! Love it!! Sounds like you had a lot of fun growing up too. I wish I had an extended family like that. I have a small family who are all way too reserved. No congas for us. Maybe with the next generation!


Ebree Your ring is Seriously. Awesome. Do you still have your scatter band too? I love that as well. I did post pics of my sapphire ritani. The pics aren't very good though, but the thread is here: TDMs sapphire
My nails were way too bright in those pics. Thanks for asking about it! I wear it every day, even if it is not the most practical, and no problems yet. The sapphire looks a little darker in the setting than it did unset and I miss how it looked before, but overall I am really happy with how it came out. Now I need to figure out how to set my aqua. I bought an aqua to represent my March baby, but have been slow in figuring out a setting. I wanted something simple and inexpensive but that isn't really happening (not a stock size) so I figure if I'm going to shell out for a pricey setting, I should make sure to get exactly what I want... so it's been sitting in my jewelery box!

I like the part that you quoted from the ezzo.info site. That stuck out to me as well. It really turned me off to babywise even though some of what they said in the book had made good sense while I was reading it. I think right after that is when I went through my "no more parenting books" stage. I just got so frustrated!

 

[E B]

Date: 11/26/2009 8:46:44 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

EBree I totally get everything you are saying but wanted to add one little thing just based on my observations-- Hunter used to do three full feeds at night time right up until he was 9 mo. Each time be would feed for about 15 to 30 minutes taking big gulps and really draining me. But I started to notice that in the daytime he really wasn''t taking a full feeding each time -- he nursed often but only for about 5-10 minutes. Basically, he was in the habit of nursing at night to get most of his calories, because it was dark and quiet and boring I suppose! Anyways, since night weaning he does a 30 minute feed in the morning then loooong feeds in the day. I only mention it because for a long time I thought that because he was eating at night he must *need* it for nutrition, but I guess it is all more complicated than that.

I remember reading about that and being so jealous! My little bottomless pit has needed to eat more often than most babies his age since about a month old, and I don''t see him being able to sleep 8+ hours without milk for a long time. I asked my MIL if it indicated a problem with my supply, but she told me her son (my husband) was the exact same way as an infant. Boo.

 

[E B]

Date: 11/26/2009 9:51:21 PM
Author: TanDogMom

Ebree Your ring is Seriously. Awesome. Do you still have your scatter band too? I love that as well. I did post pics of my sapphire ritani. The pics aren''t very good though, but the thread is here: TDMs sapphire

How did I miss it?

It''s GORGEOUS! I think that''s the first time I''ve seen the Endless Love all cushiony-shaped, and I looove it! More photos, please?

(Thank you again, btw!)

 

[taovandel]

Love the pic of Olivia dressed up....We had a Thanksgiving outfit also...It said I''m stuffed! I''ll post some pictures later on today

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/27/2009 9:27:15 AM
Author: EBree

Date: 11/26/2009 8:46:44 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

EBree I totally get everything you are saying but wanted to add one little thing just based on my observations-- Hunter used to do three full feeds at night time right up until he was 9 mo. Each time be would feed for about 15 to 30 minutes taking big gulps and really draining me. But I started to notice that in the daytime he really wasn''t taking a full feeding each time -- he nursed often but only for about 5-10 minutes. Basically, he was in the habit of nursing at night to get most of his calories, because it was dark and quiet and boring I suppose! Anyways, since night weaning he does a 30 minute feed in the morning then loooong feeds in the day. I only mention it because for a long time I thought that because he was eating at night he must *need* it for nutrition, but I guess it is all more complicated than that.

I remember reading about that and being so jealous! My little bottomless pit has needed to eat more often than most babies his age since about a month old, and I don''t see him being able to sleep 8+ hours without milk for a long time. I asked my MIL if it indicated a problem with my supply, but she told me her son (my husband) was the exact same way as an infant. Boo.

Hunter has always been a BIG eater too... he nursed about every 2.5 hours. He is a big and active boy! I didn''t really notice the change in his eating patterns until he was about 8months old. That''s when he started eating 3 meals a day, which I think he really needed, and that was when we decided to night wean. Just something to keep an eye for when the time comes!

 

[Mandarine]

Thank you guys for chimming in!

As to how I do it...I have help!. Thank God for family!. I have a system right now with my dad and step mom that''s working out great. They are visiting for a month and staying in a rental condo near our house. They get here at 6am and pick up the babies from their room (I moved them to their nursery last week!) when they wake up (~6:15am). Then they take care of the 7am feeding and I''m able to sleep until 9-10ish. They stay here with me and help me during the day and leave like at 4pm, then the hubs gets here like at 6:30pm and helps me with the 7pm and 10pm feedings...and I take care of the 1am and 4am by myself. I have to say I am a pro at burping and feeding two babies at the same time now!. I also mastered rocking one baby in my legs (if he''s done sooner) while I burp his brother!. I''ll be ready to play multiple instruments at the circus in a few months

The boys are actually pretty good babies (I think)....and I think for being 6 weeks they are doing remarkably well in terms of scheduling. I also liked Babywise, but again..I just took form it what I liked and I think you just have to use common sense. It''s worked well for us to keep them on a schedule. It''s amazing but you can pretty much set an alarm at the times they are supposed to eat and they will elt you know it''s time within minutes of the alarm!. Sometimes, they are ready to eat a little earlier...so I just always try to keep it to at least 2.5 hours...if they make it to 3 hours great...if they are obviously hungry before then, I don''t make them starve!.

I am thinking I will try the not waking up one baby when the other one is ready in about 3 weeks or so. In the meantime, I am going to try to get them to finish their day bottles and in a couple of weeks I may also try to start reducing the amount they get in the 1am feeding. I have found they don''t always finish this one so it seems like that would be the first one to try to eliminate. I will also try stretching it out...since usually one baby is completely sleep when the other one is ready. The thing is that it''s never the same baby! hehe.

Not sure if I''m making any sense. I want to get some other books, so if you have recommendations let me know. I am a planner and I do believe schedules are good (I think with twins you just don''t have an option!)...so if you think a certain type of book would be beneficial for me let me know!.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!!!

 

[Mandarine]

Here is a pic from last night. We are in the process of implementing a 7pm bedtime (or whenever they are done with that bottle!)...and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn''t!. I''m sticking to it though because I found that the longer we wait to put them in their swaddles/crib, then the crankier they get!.

Last night was one of those nights that they just weren''t ready for bedtime. I rocked them for 30 minutes on the rocker and had these burrito babies staring at me. Not great lighting since it was taking with the phone!

It took almost two hour for Alex (the one on the right) to fall sleep!. Twenty minutes later his brother was ready to eat...and poor Alex was sound sleep but when it''s time to eat for one, it''s time to eat for both!...hehe


Four eyes staring right at me...actually, more like four identical eyes staring right at me!.

( They look more and more similar every day. I may have them tested to see if they are identical in a couple of months!)

 

[neatfreak]

Mandarine They are sooo cute! I wouldn't be surprised if they were ID. I also wouldn't be surprised if they were mirror twins if they are ID.

If you look at the noses and the hairlines in that picture it's just like facing them into a mirror.

Adorable!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Mandarine They look so similar! But at the same time there are slight differences in the mouth and between the eyebrows. Some siblings just look really alike! I can''t wait to see if they are identical, please have the test and let us know!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/27/2009 10:52:14 AM
Author: neatfreak
Mandarine They are sooo cute! I wouldn''t be surprised if they were ID. I also wouldn''t be surprised if they were mirror twins if they are ID.

If you look at the noses and the hairlines in that picture it''s just like facing them into a mirror.

Adorable!

Yes I see this!

 

[taovandel]

Wow, they do look pretty identical! Let us know how the testing goes.


I apologize for the picture spree I''m about to go on....but I just uploaded some new pictures of my LO.