PSers. Please be reasonable, courteous people off-forum. Please?

[LLJsmom]

lol
I get that getting a private email from someone demanding you sell something to them is awkward and uncomfortable and yes, rude.
But I’d take that anyday over seeing someone post here randomly a few times that they knew who had their old ring and they wanted it back.
Hypothetically if I were that person of course.

Now that's just cray cray...

 

[AprilBaby]

Well at least we know who it is not!

 

[yssie]

I want to know who these nervy people are. I really do. Am I the only one who wants to know?


And more importantly...

We went to Morocco a couple of years ago. It was beautiful, but I never want to go back: Fixing male stray cats is at odds with cultural mores and fixing females is a wasteful expense and the result is exactly what you’d expect - an absolutely unbelievable number of stray cats everywhere, diseased and starving.

There was one kitten outside a mosque in Marrakech. Tiny. Ears weren’t even full sized yet. Orange. Lying in the blazing hot sun - not lazing, more like it couldn’t move. Eyes all gooped up and barely open.

I stopped. Took my scarf off to pick it up. A merchant holding a peacock said something - our driver translated: “It’s fine. Mother is nearby. Tourists always want to save the cats here. Mother is coming.”

The driver wanted to leave. My husband wanted to leave - he was sympathetic but was of the opinion that we would do better to donate to a local rescue organization than cart random street cats to veterinary facilities all day long (already taken two in). The dude with the peacock wanted me to put my scarf back over my now-bare shoulders and the leave.

So I left it. I was pretty sure no mother was coming. Even if a mother WAS coming, that kitten obviously needed medical attention. I had five cats and two dogs at the time. I was supposed to be a crazy animal lady. I left that kitten and I still can’t believe I did that. No, I couldn’t have saved all the cats there, but I could have saved that one little life and I chose not to.

I still cry thinking about it now. I’m sure that one died. I was furious with my husband, and the damn driver, and myself for listening. I went back alone the next day and it wasn’t there, of course. But I’ve learnt my lesson and I’ve never not at least tried since. No matter how inconvenient. Foxes, rabbits, deer, cats, birds, possums. I promised I’d try and I will.

 

[ForteKitty]

@yssie my heart broke reading that. i can't stop crying.

 

[lovedogs]

@yssie I understand your feelings so deeply its painful. Hugs to you.

 

[missy]

We went to Morocco a couple of years ago. It was beautiful, but I never want to go back: Fixing male stray cats is at odds with cultural mores and fixing females is a wasteful expense and the result is exactly what you’d expect - an absolutely unbelievable number of stray cats everywhere, diseased and starving.

There was one kitten outside a mosque in Marrakech. Tiny. Ears weren’t even full sized yet. Orange. Lying in the blazing hot sun - not lazing, more like it couldn’t move. Eyes all gooped up and barely open.

I stopped. Took my scarf off to pick it up. A merchant holding a peacock said something - our driver translated: “It’s fine. Mother is nearby. Tourists always want to save the cats here. Mother is coming.”

The driver wanted to leave. My husband wanted to leave - he was sympathetic but was of the opinion that we would do better to donate to a local rescue organization than cart random street cats to veterinary facilities all day long (already taken two in). The dude with the peacock wanted me to put my scarf back over my now-bare shoulders and the leave.

So I left it. I was pretty sure no mother was coming. Even if a mother WAS coming, that kitten obviously needed medical attention. I had five cats and two dogs at the time. I was supposed to be a crazy animal lady. I left that kitten and I still can’t believe I did that. No, I couldn’t have saved all the cats there, but I could have saved that one little life and I chose not to.

I still cry thinking about it now. I’m sure that one died. I was furious with my husband, and the damn driver, and myself for listening. I went back alone the next day and it wasn’t there, of course. But I’ve learnt my lesson and I’ve never not at least tried since. No matter how inconvenient. Foxes, rabbits, deer, cats, birds, possums. I promised I’d try and I will.

What a painful heartbreaking experience @yssie.

It wasn't Morocco for us but when we used to travel we came across many strays all over the world. One memory that remains strong in my mind is when we were in Italy. Specifically Positano. So many stray cats and dogs. Starving and desperate. I am crying just remembering them. We used to go every day and night to feed them. Though we were there just 3 weeks we did what we could for the time we were there. Heartbreaking. Thank goodness Greg is like minded and always has been. It's hard to believe when I first met him he had zero experience with cats and dogs.

Back in the states, where we haven't traveled out of the country for a long time we carry cat food with us wherever we go. I know it sounds crazy but many a day we see stray cats and we stop and feed them. Of course we do TNR in our neighborhood and trap cats on our property (to neuter and release) but we see strays all over and if we can give them a good meal it's something at least. We do what we can when we can. It's never enough but it's something. I will never stop caring and I will never stop doing for the strays.

Just because the animals (and the pain and suffering) are out of sight doesn't mean they are out of mind. Thank you for always doing what you can for the animals. You are a good soul and a wonderful person. People like you make this world a better place. Truly from the heart I mean that. (((HUGS))).

 

[yssie]

Bumping this thread.

And I’m going to keep bumping it, again and again, until PSers quit treating vendors like free personal shoppers at competing stores.

 

[missy]

Bumping this thread.

And I’m going to keep bumping it, again and again, until PSers quit treating vendors like free personal shoppers.

Omg! Please name names. Maybe that’ll stop them. Ridiculous behavior. (

 

[Rfisher]

I see where you are coming from. Obviously you have a relationship with the vendor to receive the information - but that’s besides the point.

If the vendor acts accommodating in any way like this - that’s on them. ‘In the name of good customer service’ whether or not the notion of good customer service comes from the vendor or the (blind) customer.

Where is that belief coming from? Since the issue seems to also come from the fact it’s a PS’er.
I also will say it is easy to read some testimonials here of some accounts with vendors and if you are willingly enough to believe you’ve heard the whole story and believe the vendor will accommodate you the same exact way - that’s part of this? Ignorance?

Ok. Just saw your edit. I’m making invalid points. Carry on

 

[xxxxxx]

We went to Morocco a couple of years ago. It was beautiful, but I never want to go back: Fixing male stray cats is at odds with cultural mores and fixing females is a wasteful expense and the result is exactly what you’d expect - an absolutely unbelievable number of stray cats everywhere, diseased and starving.

There was one kitten outside a mosque in Marrakech. Tiny. Ears weren’t even full sized yet. Orange. Lying in the blazing hot sun - not lazing, more like it couldn’t move. Eyes all gooped up and barely open.

I stopped. Took my scarf off to pick it up. A merchant holding a peacock said something - our driver translated: “It’s fine. Mother is nearby. Tourists always want to save the cats here. Mother is coming.”

The driver wanted to leave. My husband wanted to leave - he was sympathetic but was of the opinion that we would do better to donate to a local rescue organization than cart random street cats to veterinary facilities all day long (already taken two in). The dude with the peacock wanted me to put my scarf back over my now-bare shoulders and the leave.

So I left it. I was pretty sure no mother was coming. Even if a mother WAS coming, that kitten obviously needed medical attention. I had five cats and two dogs at the time. I was supposed to be a crazy animal lady. I left that kitten and I still can’t believe I did that. No, I couldn’t have saved all the cats there, but I could have saved that one little life and I chose not to.

I still cry thinking about it now. I’m sure that one died. I was furious with my husband, and the damn driver, and myself for listening. I went back alone the next day and it wasn’t there, of course. But I’ve learnt my lesson and I’ve never not at least tried since. No matter how inconvenient. Foxes, rabbits, deer, cats, birds, possums. I promised I’d try and I will.

I can feel your pain while reading this story and I also don’t travel to countries that have a lot of stray animals (because I would just be thinking about all those animals instead of enjoying the country). I hope this isn’t rude to ask
, I’m interest to know if you consume animals or animal products?
is there a difference between a pig and a cat for you? Or a cow and a possum? (:

 

[Gussie]

I'm sorry that some folks are absolute boars about approaching SMTB as an online store. Geez, that is so rude!

As for your other point, if a customer is so unaware that they don't find his or her behavior offensive, then they are probably also oblivious to being called out on the behavior. Or maybe they are just jerks. In which case, the vendor should just simply say, "It is my policy to not comment on a competitor's goods."

ETA Sales/CS in any industry is tough. There will always be crappy customers. Internet sales have allowed them to be even crappier, just as the internet has imboldened other bad behaviors. I believe vendors should expect these type of customers, as awful as it may be.

 

[yssie]

I can feel your pain while reading this story and I also don’t travel to countries that have a lot of stray animals (because I would just be thinking about all those animals instead of enjoying the country). I hope this isn’t rude to ask
, I’m interest to know if you consume animals or animal products?
is there a difference between a pig and a cat for you? Or a cow and a possum? (:

Not going to lie, I’ve struggled with this. My other half is vegetarian - he also doesn’t buy leather/silk/sheepskin/etc.

I suppose my morality skews toward a general “what am I designed to need?”... For me personally, it’s okay to eat meat because that’s what I’ve evolved to eat - and if I’m eating the meat then I should use the rest of the animal rather than waste it. I do try to buy meat, eggs, etc. from local farms that let their animals range and eat what they’ve evolved to eat.

Have you seen The Good Place? It’s a cutesy TV show - but it really made me think about how the first world has automated our daily lives, food chain included, to achieve maximum cost reduction - at the expense of so much. Too much.

 

[MrsBlue]

This happens a lot in customer service. A polite and friendly demeanor is part of good customer service but is often mistaken as an indicator of personal feelings. The hotel concierge is not your friend, the server doesn't want to date you, and the kind vendor on PS who took their time to answer a general question on the board does not want to be your personal shopper or your penpal. They are all just doing their jobs.

The vendor can help by posting a policy on their website or formulating a canned response for all such inquiries. The absence of personal attention should nip this in the bud.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

Since we're on the topic of bad behavior, here's something on-forum I think should end:

It is bad form is to pressure members on PriceScope to post the certificates for their diamonds or other jewelry. I think it is okay for the crowd to ask once, nicely. But if the poster isn't comfortable doing it, then the asking needs to stop.

Its not cool to assumer a member doesn't own the said piece of jewelry just because they aren't comfortable posting the paperwork. I don't like the implied "you aren't telling us the truth until you prove it" mentality.

This should be a fun place we can all gather to enjoy seeing pretty pictures of bling. People should feel comfortable sharing their lovelies and not feel pressured in any aspect of that.

I'm not talking about calling out people who repeatedly claim to own outlandish stuff that clearly isn't theirs (Nita). And I'm not talking about asking for paperwork in the Preloved thread where they are needed for potential buyers. And of course certs are needed to help newbies determine how a prospective diamond will perform.

I'm strictly talking about the day-to-day "show me the paperwork or I don't believe you" stuff I see.

 

[MJ_Mac]

Since we're on the topic of bad behavior, here's something on-forum I think should end:

It is bad form is to pressure members on PriceScope to post the certificates for their diamonds or other jewelry. I think it is okay for the crowd to ask once, nicely. But if the poster isn't comfortable doing it, then the asking needs to stop.

Its not cool to assumer a member doesn't own the said piece of jewelry just because they aren't comfortable posting the paperwork. I don't like the implied "you aren't telling us the truth until you prove it" mentality.

This should be a fun place we can all gather to enjoy seeing pretty pictures of bling. People should feel comfortable sharing their lovelies and not feel pressured in any aspect of that.

I'm not talking about calling out people who repeatedly claim to own outlandish stuff that clearly isn't theirs (Nita). And I'm not talking about asking for paperwork in the Preloved thread where they are needed for potential buyers. And of course certs are needed to help newbies determine how a prospective diamond will perform.

I'm strictly talking about the day-to-day "show me the paperwork or I don't believe you" stuff I see.

I very rarely post on PS anymore but I felt the need to reply to this post. I think I know which particular post you are referring to. I am pretty sure the fancy coloured "diamond" she posted is actually a sapphire. I looked at her jeweller's Facebook page to browse pictures and came across a ring that looked to be the exact same ring, at least to my eyes. The jeweller said it was a sapphire.

 

[AprilBaby]

I don’t care what it is, it’s still spectacular! I’m sorry she posted her jeweler. I hope she stays safe when visiting there now.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

I very rarely post on PS anymore but I felt the need to reply to this post. I think I know which particular post you are referring to. I am pretty sure the fancy coloured "diamond" she posted is actually a sapphire. I looked at her jeweller's Facebook page to browse pictures and came across a ring that looked to be the exact same ring, at least to my eyes. The jeweller said it was a sapphire.

Even if the lady's ring is a sapphire, it doesn't change the fact that repeatedly asking for a cert is bad behavior. If you have doubts about what a person claims, then that's totally fine. Disengage. But announcing your doubts to the world, multiple times, is rude. You have smeared that person's name because you have a hunch.

A well brought up person wouldn't do that. Can you picture the same scenario, face to face, at a dinner party? I can't imagine someone so crass as to tell the whole table they didn't believe the person sitting next to them was telling the truth about their ring.

And this is not just happening to the lady with the blue diamond. It happens again and again. Even when I got my ring (modest in comparison to much of the bling on here) I felt pressured in the same way to "prove it." People asked for my cert multiple times and it didn't feel like it was in the spirit of just being interested in the angles and ratios.

 

[MJ_Mac]

Even if the lady's ring is a sapphire, it doesn't change the fact that repeatedly asking for a cert is bad behavior. If you have doubts about what a person claims, then that's totally fine, but announcing your doubts to the world, multiple times, is rude. A well brought up person wouldn't do that face to face at a dinner party, tell the whole table they didn't believe the person sitting next to them's ring is what they claim it to be.

And this is not just happening to the lady with the blue diamond. It happens again and again. Even when I got my ring (modest by some of the bling on here) I felt pressured in the same way to "prove it." People asked for my cert multiple times and it didn't feel like it was in the spirit of just being interested in the angles and ratios.

I am not disagreeing with you. I don't read very many threads anymore as I am not on PS all that often. I just happened to to read this one and it stuck out in my head about asking for lab reports. The ring is lovely and that is why I looked at the jeweller's pics initially. I guess I assumed people were asking for the lab reports because this diamond sounded too good be true.

I am sorry this happened to you. I was not aware of you being questioned.


Edited to add last sentence in first paragraph and fix typo.

 

[CSpan]

We went to Morocco a couple of years ago. It was beautiful, but I never want to go back: Fixing male stray cats is at odds with cultural mores and fixing females is a wasteful expense and the result is exactly what you’d expect - an absolutely unbelievable number of stray cats everywhere, diseased and starving.

There was one kitten outside a mosque in Marrakech. Tiny. Ears weren’t even full sized yet. Orange. Lying in the blazing hot sun - not lazing, more like it couldn’t move. Eyes all gooped up and barely open.

I stopped. Took my scarf off to pick it up. A merchant holding a peacock said something - our driver translated: “It’s fine. Mother is nearby. Tourists always want to save the cats here. Mother is coming.”

The driver wanted to leave. My husband wanted to leave - he was sympathetic but was of the opinion that we would do better to donate to a local rescue organization than cart random street cats to veterinary facilities all day long (already taken two in). The dude with the peacock wanted me to put my scarf back over my now-bare shoulders and the leave.

So I left it. I was pretty sure no mother was coming. Even if a mother WAS coming, that kitten obviously needed medical attention. I had five cats and two dogs at the time. I was supposed to be a crazy animal lady. I left that kitten and I still can’t believe I did that. No, I couldn’t have saved all the cats there, but I could have saved that one little life and I chose not to.

I still cry thinking about it now. I’m sure that one died. I was furious with my husband, and the damn driver, and myself for listening. I went back alone the next day and it wasn’t there, of course. But I’ve learnt my lesson and I’ve never not at least tried since. No matter how inconvenient. Foxes, rabbits, deer, cats, birds, possums. I promised I’d try and I will.

When we were in Tunisia there are multiple organizations that TNR, they depend almost entirely on finds from expats as the country doesn't have the economy for it. It was encouraging and strange that Morocco which has a greater population of foreigners wouldn't. In Turkey they have food and water stations for animals and mosques are obligated to feed their cats-dogs would be run off of course. They also have TNR program in Istanbul and maybe Ankara where you can tell an animal has been neutered by the ear tag or ear notch.

I highly recommend traveling to Hindu countries to see a different side of animal welfare. In Nepal, dogs are celebrated as part of Tihar (Diwali) as of course are cows. There are a huge number of street dogs (and street cows) but people take very good care of them and feed them as it is auspicious. There are of course charities there too that will spay/neuter. But an overall love of animals rooted in society helps.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

What a painful heartbreaking experience @yssie.

It wasn't Morocco for us but when we used to travel we came across many strays all over the world. One memory that remains strong in my mind is when we were in Italy. Specifically Positano. So many stray cats and dogs. Starving and desperate. I am crying just remembering them. We used to go every day and night to feed them. Though we were there just 3 weeks we did what we could for the time we were there. Heartbreaking. Thank goodness Greg is like minded and always has been. It's hard to believe when I first met him he had zero experience with cats and dogs.

Back in the states, where we haven't traveled out of the country for a long time we carry cat food with us wherever we go. I know it sounds crazy but many a day we see stray cats and we stop and feed them. Of course we do TNR in our neighborhood and trap cats on our property (to neuter and release) but we see strays all over and if we can give them a good meal it's something at least. We do what we can when we can. It's never enough but it's something. I will never stop caring and I will never stop doing for the strays.

Just because the animals (and the pain and suffering) are out of sight doesn't mean they are out of mind. Thank you for always doing what you can for the animals. You are a good soul and a wonderful person. People like you make this world a better place. Truly from the heart I mean that. (((HUGS))).

Any stray that turns up to my door hungry gets dinner

Since we're on the topic of bad behavior, here's something on-forum I think should end:

It is bad form is to pressure members on PriceScope to post the certificates for their diamonds or other jewelry. I think it is okay for the crowd to ask once, nicely. But if the poster isn't comfortable doing it, then the asking needs to stop.

Its not cool to assumer a member doesn't own the said piece of jewelry just because they aren't comfortable posting the paperwork. I don't like the implied "you aren't telling us the truth until you prove it" mentality.

This should be a fun place we can all gather to enjoy seeing pretty pictures of bling. People should feel comfortable sharing their lovelies and not feel pressured in any aspect of that.

I'm not talking about calling out people who repeatedly claim to own outlandish stuff that clearly isn't theirs (Nita). And I'm not talking about asking for paperwork in the Preloved thread where they are needed for potential buyers. And of course certs are needed to help newbies determine how a prospective diamond will perform.

I'm strictly talking about the day-to-day "show me the paperwork or I don't believe you" stuff I see.

Im here purly for fun, company and to look at pretty soarkly things (well and to learn, but i can bearly understand those certificates anyway so im failing)
With that one exception i would never doubt someone didn't own something they said they did
id also never ask for proof
I do ask for photos but that's ment as friendly encouragement
I have asked for pearl sizes just for my own knowledge
But as for things directly pertaining to monetary value - Its kind of like asking someone how much money they are on at work or how much their house cost
this could be a cultural thing but i would find this very bad manners indeed

However as there is some anonymity to the internet i tend to overshear here rather than embellish the truth

 

[Cerulean]

I made a comment on one thread once, where I crassly stated "if you ever sell that, think of me!" or something like that...I feel ashamed that I ever did it, as my own covetousness detracted from the mere celebration and joy that someone else was experiencing in buying and coming into possession of something truly beautiful. Whether the owner's admiration for a piece ebbs or flows over time...should be irrelevant.

Greed and envy are archetypal sins for a reason. Some people can't help themselves are are in a way, consumed by inner demons. I felt ashamed to have even made an unreflective comment in passing, I have a hard time understanding what would drive someone to actively pursue something that is simply not theirs to take.

Being greedy with someone's time is really no different, and it saddens me. Unfortunately where people lack the ability to even understand that what they are doing is wrong, it is necessary for the "receiver" to set the boundary for them. They may learn, they may not.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I made a comment on one thread once, where I crassly stated "if you ever sell that, think of me!" or something like that...I feel ashamed that I ever did it, as my own covetousness detracted from the mere celebration and joy that someone else was experiencing in buying and coming into possession of something truly beautiful. Whether the owner's admiration for a piece ebbs or flows over time...should be irrelevant.

Greed and envy are archetypal sins for a reason. Some people can't help themselves are are in a way, consumed by inner demons. I felt ashamed to have even made an unreflective comment in passing, I have a hard time understanding what would drive someone to actively pursue something that is simply not theirs to take.

Being greedy with someone's time is really no different, and it saddens me. Unfortunately where people lack the ability to even understand that what they are doing is wrong, it is necessary for the "receiver" to set the boundary for them. They may learn, they may not.

I honestly think said on a thread it is a compliment !
Or that's how id take it.
If it were me owning the covetee item Id be overjoyed i finally owned something PS worthy !!!
So please dont fret

You didn't reach out to her/him privately, i think no harm done

 

[yssie]

I highly recommend traveling to Hindu countries to see a different side of animal welfare. In Nepal, dogs are celebrated as part of Tihar (Diwali) as of course are cows. There are a huge number of street dogs (and street cows) but people take very good care of them and feed them as it is auspicious. There are of course charities there too that will spay/neuter. But an overall love of animals rooted in society helps.

I'm Indian, actually! I was born in Tamil Nadu. I can't say we treat street animals well. We don't kill them, but we don't take care of them, and we don't take steps to prevent more of them (no TNR programmes in my family's cities that I'm aware of). I'm really pleased to hear that other parts of the world that celebrate Hindu culture have made more progress! We'll catch up eventually.

 

[kgizo]

Hugs to everyone from my current foster dog. Was surrendered because his owners didn’t want a dog with just one eye. He developed glaucoma and they let it go so long without treatment that the eye had to be removed. He has lovely manners and thinks all PSers should too Glad there are so many fellow animal lovers on this thread.

 

[winnietucker]

Hugs to everyone from my current foster dog. Was surrendered because his owners didn’t want a dog with just one eye. He developed glaucoma and they let it go so long without treatment that the eye had to be removed. He has lovely manners and thinks all PSers should too Glad there are so many fellow animal lovers on this thread.
View attachment 811280

Oh my heart. That first pic and his story makes me sad. What a sweet little fluff. Is he already healed?

 

[kgizo]

Oh my heart. That first pic and his story makes me sad. What a sweet little fluff. Is he already healed?

His stitches will be removed in four days and then he will be ready for adoption. He is doing great and healing well. He is the sweetest little fluff and whoever adopts him will be very lucky.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

He is the cutest @kgizo!

 

[yssie]

I made a comment on one thread once, where I crassly stated "if you ever sell that, think of me!" or something like that...I feel ashamed that I ever did it, as my own covetousness detracted from the mere celebration and joy that someone else was experiencing in buying and coming into possession of something truly beautiful. Whether the owner's admiration for a piece ebbs or flows over time...should be irrelevant.

Greed and envy are archetypal sins for a reason. Some people can't help themselves are are in a way, consumed by inner demons. I felt ashamed to have even made an unreflective comment in passing, I have a hard time understanding what would drive someone to actively pursue something that is simply not theirs to take.

Being greedy with someone's time is really no different, and it saddens me. Unfortunately where people lack the ability to even understand that what they are doing is wrong, it is necessary for the "receiver" to set the boundary for them. They may learn, they may not.

Absolutely nothing for you to be apologetic for here, in my book. I'm sure whoever it was addressed to took it as a compliment!! Because I'm sure that's how it was intended. I personally don't mind those comments at all - in fact I actually usually write them down for future reference in case I DO rehome!

I don't feel right posting copies of the emails I received here but... They all had *clear* tones of either "I demand you accept my advances", or "you should feel guilty if you don't accept my advances", or both. And not in a joking or cute or friendly way. One of these people even stated that she would come to my hometown to pick up to avoid shipping costs, and told me which weeks would work for her - which made me wonder if she'd actually looked me up and found out where I live...

I ignored all of them and never heard anything else, so I'm not worried. If they ever do write me again, I'll be reporting them to PS admins (I think I know one person's PS handle, though I'm not totally sure) and sharing screenshots here as a "be wary" to everyone else.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I’m afraid that I’m guilty of telling a PS’er if they ever decided to sell to let me know. It was something shared in SMTB but it was only a comment, I would never dream of harassing someone through email about their jewel.

Just want to say to that PS’er that I am so sorry, it was just a moment of losing my manners, hopefully it didn’t affect your enjoyment of the piece.

 

[lilmosun]

Absolutely nothing for you to be apologetic for here, in my book. I'm sure whoever it was addressed to took it as a compliment!

+1