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PSers. Please be reasonable, courteous people off-forum. Please?

I'm late to this current discussion and wanted to chime in if I may. I think it is a compliment when someone is drooling over one's bling in SMTB and says DIBS if you ever want to sell. I see nothing wrong with that and certainly do not view it as stealing one's joy in any way shape or form.

What @yssie is commenting upon however is a different animal entirely. Someone emailing you off the forum when you aren't selling your bling and aggressively pursuing said piece? NOT cool. At all. That crosses the line. Way over the line of common decency IMO.

But complimenting one's bling and saying ooh if you ever sell I call dibs? Complment. Complete compliment IMO.
 
chrono said:
@YadaYadaYada I consider calling dibs a compliment, so I think you haven't done anything wrong at all!
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My apologies, I’m on week two of a new eating plan with a drastic reduction in sugar. I might have taken your comment the wrong way.

I shouldn’t respond to threads on an empty stomach :)
 
Wowza, I had no idea that such oddball (and creeptastic) things were going on behind the scenes! Some of these behaviors are seriously appalling and I am so sorry to everyone who has experienced any of these tactics (@yssie, what you described is particularly disturbing and I am so sorry you went through that!). I am continually stunned (and yet sadly not all that surprised) by what some people will do when left to their own devices! :shock:

That said, I have certainly been guilty of expressing pure zeal over someone's piece and letting them know that if they ever had a change of heart I would be happy to snag it in a heartbeat! And that was always intended purely as a compliment, although it is sincere, so if they were to decide to sell I would certainly follow through! But the pressure and coercion you all have described crosses too many lines and is beyond unfathomable.

I am so grateful for this community and all of you wonderful PSers as I have learned so much from you all over the years and I truly love following your bling/life journeys! So please know that I have nothing but love for you all! And let's do our best to keep the crazies at bay! :shifty:
 
MJ_Mac said:
I wasn’t stalking! How dare you call me a stalker!! I very often look at various jewellers of people posting jewels. And that is how I found it. A blue diamond is rare and I thought I would check out the jeweller’s other works. I have to admit I wondered if maybe it was an irradiated diamond because a natural, especially of that size would be rare. Oh for crap’s sake I would never accuse her of lying like some people have implied.
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OK so @MJ_Mac is the furthest thing from a stalker! I missed this post somehow (I have a bad habit of skimming what I read at times when I am short on time) and want to address this now.

@MJ_Mac is a lovely and kind and thoughtful and caring person. She is as far from a stalker as anybody can be.

I don't know the person or thread you are all referring to re the blue diamond and I don't really care either. I just would love it if we could all be courteous and polite and treat others the way we would enjoy being treated. That is all.

To @MJ_Mac the people who know you they know that accusation is blatantly untrue. Nobody likes to have unpleasant (and untrue!) things written about them. I am sorry. :(
((((HUGS))))
 
carbonfan said:
Wowza, I had no idea that such oddball (and creeptastic) things were going on behind the scenes! Some of these behaviors are seriously appalling and I am so sorry to everyone who has experienced any of these tactics (@yssie, what you described is particularly disturbing and I am so sorry you went through that!). I am continually stunned (and yet sadly not all that surprised) by what some people will do when left to their own devices! :shock:

That said, I have certainly been guilty of expressing pure zeal over someone's piece and letting them know that if they ever had a change of heart I would be happy to snag it in a heartbeat! And that was always intended purely as a compliment, although it is sincere, so if they were to decide to sell I would certainly follow through! But the pressure and coercion you all have described crosses too many lines and is beyond unfathomable.

I am so grateful for this community and all of you wonderful PSers as I have learned so much from you all over the years and I truly love following your bling/life journeys! So please know that I have nothing but love for you all! And let's do our best to keep the crazies at bay! :shifty:
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I wasnt planning to comment on this thread, and sorry to go off topic, but @carbonfan - I had to just say I love your cats! What a fab photo! It really made me smile after a difficult day :D
 
If we can't tell people on PS that we want to be in line for their jewelry, then I owe @Rfisher a pretty big apology.

About her emerald heart ring.

That I DEFINITELY WANT if she ever wants to sell.

Or dies.

Or... Somehow I've lost a lock on where I was heading with this....

Awww - but she knows I love all her things because she's a genius with design and I adore ALL her pieces!

(There. Fixed?)

:wavey: :mrgreen: :wavey: :mrgreen: :wavey:


ETA I often have people contact me offline, trying to buy my things or ask for my help on things. I don't mind if it's done nicely and if what they're asking is not too time consuming, but I *have* had people get cranky that I didn't want to sell them something I own. I mean - they'd probably quite like the look of my husband, too! He's the nicest guy ever and a good looking dude! My point being - there's limits, and what's mine really IS *mine*!
 
We are all good @mrs-b
:) (You DO flatter me so, tho)
If the parachute doesn’t open or the scuba tank malfunctions,
you are already duly noted in my final papers.

im just as guilty of noting here ‘hey- think of me if you sell’ to others here in threads.

I can only hope it hadn’t caused hard feelings here, either. It’s hard with no tone in text and so many different personalities.

ive told someone here I’ve ‘creepy stalked them’ to look at something they own, that they’ve mentioned in a thread. By looking at their history. No harm/no foul.

others get creeped out that happens, or ther projects get remembered from one thread to the next.

it’s hard to navigate
 
Generalizing only the good intentions here but its good to keep in the back of the mind that the written word does not always read back the way the writter had it in their head

Even amount people who have English as their first language, words and meanings in regular conversation differ between regions, between countries and cultures
What constitutes good and bad manners certainly varies

Throw into the mix all those wonderfully clever people who have English as a 2nd or 3rd language,
i like to (but don't always remember in the first instance) give people the benifit of the doubt if i take offence to something said on line
 
diamondhoarder said:
I wasnt planning to comment on this thread, and sorry to go off topic, but @carbonfan - I had to just say I love your cats! What a fab photo! It really made me smile after a difficult day :D
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Aww, thank you @diamondhoarder! They are so sweet and we love them so!!

And to add a footnote to my previous post, I truly do believe that the vast majority of PS members are well meaning and prosocial. We are a benevolent bunch! My comments were directed at the overly forward, pushy tactics that are certainly the rare exception in this community. Those are borderline stalkeresque, but I have yet to experience them. So I just wanted to clarify, as it is fun to drool over everyone's bling, so let's keep all of that going! :lickout:
 
Alex T said:
:-o
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My reaction too!! I’ve heard of situations like these occurring outside of jewelry. Someone using a sad story to try and get a deal out of something. DISTASTEFUL

I didn’t even know you could email pricescopers!
 
mrs-b said:
If we can't tell people on PS that we want to be in line for their jewelry, then I owe @Rfisher a pretty big apology.

About her emerald heart ring.

That I DEFINITELY WANT if she ever wants to sell.

Or dies.

Or... Somehow I've lost a lock on where I was heading with this....

Awww - but she knows I love all her things because she's a genius with design and I adore ALL her pieces!

(There. Fixed?)

:wavey: :mrgreen: :wavey: :mrgreen: :wavey:


ETA I often have people contact me offline, trying to buy my things or ask for my help on things. I don't mind if it's done nicely and if what they're asking is not too time consuming, but I *have* had people get cranky that I didn't want to sell them something I own. I mean - they'd probably quite like the look of my husband, too! He's the nicest guy ever and a good looking dude! My point being - there's limits, and what's mine really IS *mine*!
Click to expand...

There's an emerald heart ring?? Did I miss this??
 
Obviously I've never done any of this, I consider it really tone-deaf. But I'm a very reserved person. Badgering someone to sell me their jewelry which is not actually for sale is bizarre.
 
doberman said:
Obviously I've never done any of this, I consider it really tone-deaf. But I'm a very reserved person. Badgering someone to sell me their jewelry which is not actually for sale is bizarre.
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As is ocosting (excuse spelling) someone in the street wanting to buy their dog !
 
meely said:
I think that in reality the entitled people guilty of approaching other pricescopers and trying to manipulate them into selling their pieces are not going to respond on this thread. The reality is plenty of pricescopers have a high turnover on their pieces and why not say (on a thread) btw if you ever get rid of please think of me. It is obviously meant as a massive compliment and if you don’t ask you don’t get. I don’t think anyone who has responded on this thread should feel any guilt, none of you have done anything wrong. I have read through the comments and remember the incidences that some of them are referring to, those people have not responded on this thread ;)2
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Oh my! I feel like I must respond now. I promise, I took no part in any of this. That being said, this is the first and only forum I participate in. I've probably inadvertently made mistakes along the way. If I did, I apologize.
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
As is ocosting (excuse spelling) someone in the street wanting to buy their dog !
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Yes! I was walking my min pin in an isolated area and a car passed me, stopped and backed up. A guy got out and approached me, at which point I scooped her up and prepared to run. He then asked where I had got her and could he buy her. What an idiot!!
 
MjK1 said:
Yes! I was walking my min pin in an isolated area and a car passed me, stopped and backed up. A guy got out and approached me, at which point I scooped her up and prepared to run. He then asked where I had got her and could he buy her. What an idiot!!
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Im really releaved we have somewhat anti social cats !
 
RunningwithScissors said:
Since we're on the topic of bad behavior, here's something on-forum I think should end:

It is bad form is to pressure members on PriceScope to post the certificates for their diamonds or other jewelry. I think it is okay for the crowd to ask once, nicely. But if the poster isn't comfortable doing it, then the asking needs to stop.

Its not cool to assumer a member doesn't own the said piece of jewelry just because they aren't comfortable posting the paperwork. I don't like the implied "you aren't telling us the truth until you prove it" mentality.

This should be a fun place we can all gather to enjoy seeing pretty pictures of bling. People should feel comfortable sharing their lovelies and not feel pressured in any aspect of that.

I'm not talking about calling out people who repeatedly claim to own outlandish stuff that clearly isn't theirs (Nita). And I'm not talking about asking for paperwork in the Preloved thread where they are needed for potential buyers. And of course certs are needed to help newbies determine how a prospective diamond will perform.

I'm strictly talking about the day-to-day "show me the paperwork or I don't believe you" stuff I see.
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I know I’m guilty of asking PSers if they wouldn’t mind posting the stats of their ACA and CBI stones. The reason being is I continue to learn about angles and the differences they make
to the over all look of the stone. It helped me when I was looking for mine and I still find it fascinating. I’m a diamond cut nerd! I apologize if that has offended anyone. It was meant for educational purposes, not to show proof of purchase. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.
 
Bonfire said:
I know I’m guilty of asking PSers if they wouldn’t mind posting the stats of their ACA and CBI stones. The reason being is I continue to learn about angles and the differences they make
to the over all look of the stone. It helped me when I was looking for mine and I still find it fascinating. I’m a diamond cut nerd! I apologize if that has offended anyone. It was meant for educational purposes, not to show proof of purchase. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.
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I think that is not a problem especially when peeps know its a learning thing
 
Bonfire said:
I know I’m guilty of asking PSers if they wouldn’t mind posting the stats of their ACA and CBI stones. The reason being is I continue to learn about angles and the differences they make
to the over all look of the stone. It helped me when I was looking for mine and I still find it fascinating. I’m a diamond cut nerd! I apologize if that has offended anyone. It was meant for educational purposes, not to show proof of purchase. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.
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Don't worry Bonfire, I think asking about stats and angles and such for educational purposes is totally fine. We're on here to share and learn about bling! I think people can sniff out when there are good intentions and when there aren't.
 
This thread reminded me of a boneheaded thing I did many many moons ago. This was when we had pm.
I helped someone mostly through pm buy an awesome ring for his Lady and we were always joking around.
He posted a show off thread and I said...
I going to hunt you done and steal it and maybe your girl too. Which he said cracked him up, all was good.
That post was up for the whole of 10 min. before I had a scathing email for the then admin and it was deleted but not before there were 10 comments yelling at me at a time when the whole board maybe got 75 posts a day.
Woops
 
Karl_K said:
This thread reminded me of a boneheaded thing I did many many moons ago. This was when we had pm.
I helped someone mostly through pm buy an awesome ring for his Lady and we were always joking around.
He posted a show off thread and I said...
I going to hunt you done and steal it and maybe your girl too. Which he said cracked him up, all was good.
That post was up for the whole of 10 min. before I had a scathing email for the then admin and it was deleted but not before there were 10 comments yelling at me at a time when the whole board maybe got 75 posts a day.
Woops
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Ok, this made me laugh because I can totally relate. I usually am pretty quiet but when I do say something I have a tendency to say something I didn't quite intend, or to mean something in a joking way and it not to be received that way. Hence why I tend to stay quiet (or obsess over what I've said after the fact).
 
Wow! Some crazy atrocious behavior. I have never had that happen on this forum. I did have one person on loupe troop send me angry emails, because they insisted that they should have gotten the piece of jewelry because they are SURE they emailed me first. And they very well may have emailed me first. The problem is (both loupe troop, craigslist) I go with the first person who commits to buying the item, not who contacts me first. If you contact me to ask me a series of questions about the item, there is no obligation for me to "hold" the piece for you... Anyways I think people on Pricescope generally are decent. There is just always a certain percentage in every group that is more "intense" than needs be.

I also had experienced someone offering to take my dog. One our family dog when I was in HS, more than one person said, if you don't want your dog I'll take him. Which I guess is a compliment but why would they think we don't want our dog (granted our dog would often escape our backyard to then "visit" where groups of people would be, but he was obviously well taken care of). More recently had a chow mix dog. I didn't want a 2nd dog, we took her in to foster her. But when someone inquired we made excuses why it wasn't the best person for her. After the 2nd time it happened we said to each other, "we are keeping her, aren't we?" And she was one of the best dogs ever (even my ex, who had many dogs growing up, said so). Still miss her.
 
Karl_K said:
This thread reminded me of a boneheaded thing I did many many moons ago. This was when we had pm.
I helped someone mostly through pm buy an awesome ring for his Lady and we were always joking around.
He posted a show off thread and I said...
I going to hunt you done and steal it and maybe your girl too. Which he said cracked him up, all was good.
That post was up for the whole of 10 min. before I had a scathing email for the then admin and it was deleted but not before there were 10 comments yelling at me at a time when the whole board maybe got 75 posts a day.
Woops
Click to expand...

Oh Karl
we could be brother and sister :mrgreen2:
I totally relate
But the important thing is the OP knew you were joking
 
ForteKitty said:
One person made me so uncomfortable I couldn't even respond to her email. She included very private, very personal medical history as the reason why I should sell my ring to her, because it would help her process her grief. It was a guilt trip and I felt so terrible, like I was a bad person for not wanting to sell. But at the same time, she said it so nonchalantly like she just wanted to buy something pretty to "feel better". I wrote an email and never sent it.
Click to expand...

I got an email that fits this description completely- and it was so out of the blue I thought it was a scam! I would not be surprised if we received similar emails. It made me feel absolutely terrible and I was gutted, frankly.
 
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