luckystar112
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2007
- Messages
- 3,962
I''ll ask the questions first, so you can skip past the drama if you''d like-- Is satin a "cheap" fabric that shouldn''t be warn in the summer? Is satin the same as taffeta?
And if you care about drama, here it is-
Everytime I talk to my mother I thank heaven up above that I am getting married in Virginia where FI''s family is, instead of in Maine where she is. As some of you know, I have been agonizing over wedding colors for a while, but I finally picked the BM''s dress color (champagne) and designer (Bill Levkoff) and found a bunch of dresses that they can choose from in that color. They are all satin tea-length dresses. For some reason, and I have NO CLUE why I keep doing this to myself, I sent my mom an email with all the dresses on it. Then I emailed her to let her know that I had just sent her the email, and I described them to her on the phone. (She hadn''t looked at them yet.) Then she starts to get into her rant about how satin isn''t a good summer material, and when the girls sweat the dresses are going to appear wet. (Our wedding is outside, but there''s a thing called deoderant.) I asked her where she got the idea that it was going to be so hot outside....and told her that it wasn''t that hot when I was there last month. Then she got an attitude and said, "Remember, I''ve been there before. I know it''s hot." and I replied, "I know you''ve been there before. I''m telling you that I was there last month, at the location, and it wasn''t that hot." and then she told me she wanted to get off the phone. No biggie. I admit that I did get a little bit of an attitude with her, but its because she has been driving me CRAZZZZZYZYYY. Seriously, I can''t even tell you. Actually I will, after this story.
So I''m kind of impressed that she wanted to get off the phone with me instead of getting into a heated argument. I could tell that it was heading that way, so I''m glad that she took the step to stop it before it ignited. She obviously checked her email and saw the dresses, and then responded to that email with this lovely gem:
"I think the dresses are beautiful but will stand by my word when I say you DO NOT wear satin in the summer! It is tacky and cheap looking and satin taffeta''s are very very heavy fabric! I am pissed right now because you think you know everything and aren''t willing to even consider you might be wrong! Get a f*cken clue amanda! I don''t give a sh*t if you managed one warm week in virginia . It will be hot and YOU will be looking stupid wasting your money on dresses and photos! good luck with that!"
She''s a classy lady for sure.
Can''t wait for FI''s family to meet her!!!!!
I want the girls to be comfortable, but at the same time I get the feeling that girls have worn satin dresses to weddings in the summer in the past and have been just fine. Am I wrong? Aren''t most bridesmaid dresses made of "cheap" satin?
At this point I just want to give up on her. I get so embaressed just *thinking* of FI''s family meeting her. She is just a disturbed individual who needs serious psychiatric help. If I want to get along with her now, and this is typical, I''m going to have to call her up and talk to her like she''s a five year old and tell her how sorry I am. I just can''t take it anymore! And if she''s right, I can''t handle the thought of trying to pick new bridesmaid dresses again.
She has hated EVERY single idea I''ve had about my wedding. Hated the lantern favor idea. Hated the seperate BM dresses idea. Hated the sprinklers instead of rice idea. You know, when I told her about the lanterns, she actually sent me an emails saying, "I don''t understand why you want lanterns when just the other day I sent you the link to some votives with your name and wedding date on it." Like she is expecting me to like and buy everything that she pics out. It''s like she''s pretty much saying, "I sent you a link to the votives that you are going to buy for your wedding because I like them." That''s how it comes off to me in emails and just talking to her in person. And I have thrown away every single wedding favor i''ve gotten that has had someone''s name and wedding date on it, which is why I''m not doing that.
Then there was the wedding cake idea. She called me and told me that instead of having a wedding cake, I should make sure every table has their own individual cake, and so should FI and I. I told her that I really wanted a "real" wedding cake, and she went off on a tangent saying that it was going to melt. I told her we''ll bring it outside at the last minute...or we''ll get some portable A/C''s if it''s *really* that bad. (Which it WON''T be.) She said, "I hope your cake melts." and hung up. She''s like a little kid. Worst of all, she is pretending that its her wedding. She''s calling up vendors and talking to them on the phone without consulting me first. FI''s parents are handling the catering. She keeps asking me about it....wondering how FI''s family is going to "handle" it. She asks me about food that I want served and then says, "no one eats that". She is just on my last fricking nerve and I am going to EXPLODE.
And she''s manipulating stories to get me to agree with her. For instance, she''s told me that every vendor in VA that she''s talked to has asked her why we are getting married there, since it is "so hot" in the summer. Vendors. That want her money. Are trying to convince her that it''s a bad idea to get married in VA in the summer. Okay!
Must be some secret VA rule that I don''t know about....no weddings from May-September...and absolutely NO SATIN DRESSES!!
I''m guessing that she is probably secretly wishing that I was having it in Maine so she could have full control and not have to worry about FI''s family and the (gasp!
) catering! But like I said, I thank my lucky stars every DAY that I''m not having it there. I know for a fact that if I was I wouldn''t have the wedding I want, and she''d probably treaten me with cancelling it everytime I disagreed with her.
I mean, I just don''t even know what to do anymore. She is mortifying me. She is hateful, spiteful, stressful, and childish. I just don''t think I can handle it anymore. She is going to embaress the hell out of me, I know it. She is the type of person who will burst into tears and cause a huge scene if you look at her the wrong way. She will make me look stupid, she''ll probably make me cry...I mean, I could just go on and on. I could give you a million examples of what a mentally disturbed person she is, unrelated to the wedding--but I''ll spare you. She just, isn''t right. Nuts.
I don''t need her money for the wedding, but she''s been insisting on contributing since I''m her only child. (This is on her good days.) I would love to tell her to keep her money, stay out of my wedding planning, and just show up on the day of, but how do I do that nicely? I''m really desperate here. She is manipulative, vindictive, and just plain spiteful, yet she is generous, loving and helpful on good days. But I just don''t want her help unless I ask for it. I don''t want her opinion unless I ask for it. I want the wedding to be mine. Is there a way I can tell her to keep her money and leave me alone nicely?
And if you care about drama, here it is-
Everytime I talk to my mother I thank heaven up above that I am getting married in Virginia where FI''s family is, instead of in Maine where she is. As some of you know, I have been agonizing over wedding colors for a while, but I finally picked the BM''s dress color (champagne) and designer (Bill Levkoff) and found a bunch of dresses that they can choose from in that color. They are all satin tea-length dresses. For some reason, and I have NO CLUE why I keep doing this to myself, I sent my mom an email with all the dresses on it. Then I emailed her to let her know that I had just sent her the email, and I described them to her on the phone. (She hadn''t looked at them yet.) Then she starts to get into her rant about how satin isn''t a good summer material, and when the girls sweat the dresses are going to appear wet. (Our wedding is outside, but there''s a thing called deoderant.) I asked her where she got the idea that it was going to be so hot outside....and told her that it wasn''t that hot when I was there last month. Then she got an attitude and said, "Remember, I''ve been there before. I know it''s hot." and I replied, "I know you''ve been there before. I''m telling you that I was there last month, at the location, and it wasn''t that hot." and then she told me she wanted to get off the phone. No biggie. I admit that I did get a little bit of an attitude with her, but its because she has been driving me CRAZZZZZYZYYY. Seriously, I can''t even tell you. Actually I will, after this story.
So I''m kind of impressed that she wanted to get off the phone with me instead of getting into a heated argument. I could tell that it was heading that way, so I''m glad that she took the step to stop it before it ignited. She obviously checked her email and saw the dresses, and then responded to that email with this lovely gem:
"I think the dresses are beautiful but will stand by my word when I say you DO NOT wear satin in the summer! It is tacky and cheap looking and satin taffeta''s are very very heavy fabric! I am pissed right now because you think you know everything and aren''t willing to even consider you might be wrong! Get a f*cken clue amanda! I don''t give a sh*t if you managed one warm week in virginia . It will be hot and YOU will be looking stupid wasting your money on dresses and photos! good luck with that!"
She''s a classy lady for sure.
I want the girls to be comfortable, but at the same time I get the feeling that girls have worn satin dresses to weddings in the summer in the past and have been just fine. Am I wrong? Aren''t most bridesmaid dresses made of "cheap" satin?
At this point I just want to give up on her. I get so embaressed just *thinking* of FI''s family meeting her. She is just a disturbed individual who needs serious psychiatric help. If I want to get along with her now, and this is typical, I''m going to have to call her up and talk to her like she''s a five year old and tell her how sorry I am. I just can''t take it anymore! And if she''s right, I can''t handle the thought of trying to pick new bridesmaid dresses again.
She has hated EVERY single idea I''ve had about my wedding. Hated the lantern favor idea. Hated the seperate BM dresses idea. Hated the sprinklers instead of rice idea. You know, when I told her about the lanterns, she actually sent me an emails saying, "I don''t understand why you want lanterns when just the other day I sent you the link to some votives with your name and wedding date on it." Like she is expecting me to like and buy everything that she pics out. It''s like she''s pretty much saying, "I sent you a link to the votives that you are going to buy for your wedding because I like them." That''s how it comes off to me in emails and just talking to her in person. And I have thrown away every single wedding favor i''ve gotten that has had someone''s name and wedding date on it, which is why I''m not doing that.
Then there was the wedding cake idea. She called me and told me that instead of having a wedding cake, I should make sure every table has their own individual cake, and so should FI and I. I told her that I really wanted a "real" wedding cake, and she went off on a tangent saying that it was going to melt. I told her we''ll bring it outside at the last minute...or we''ll get some portable A/C''s if it''s *really* that bad. (Which it WON''T be.) She said, "I hope your cake melts." and hung up. She''s like a little kid. Worst of all, she is pretending that its her wedding. She''s calling up vendors and talking to them on the phone without consulting me first. FI''s parents are handling the catering. She keeps asking me about it....wondering how FI''s family is going to "handle" it. She asks me about food that I want served and then says, "no one eats that". She is just on my last fricking nerve and I am going to EXPLODE.
And she''s manipulating stories to get me to agree with her. For instance, she''s told me that every vendor in VA that she''s talked to has asked her why we are getting married there, since it is "so hot" in the summer. Vendors. That want her money. Are trying to convince her that it''s a bad idea to get married in VA in the summer. Okay!
I mean, I just don''t even know what to do anymore. She is mortifying me. She is hateful, spiteful, stressful, and childish. I just don''t think I can handle it anymore. She is going to embaress the hell out of me, I know it. She is the type of person who will burst into tears and cause a huge scene if you look at her the wrong way. She will make me look stupid, she''ll probably make me cry...I mean, I could just go on and on. I could give you a million examples of what a mentally disturbed person she is, unrelated to the wedding--but I''ll spare you. She just, isn''t right. Nuts.
I don''t need her money for the wedding, but she''s been insisting on contributing since I''m her only child. (This is on her good days.) I would love to tell her to keep her money, stay out of my wedding planning, and just show up on the day of, but how do I do that nicely? I''m really desperate here. She is manipulative, vindictive, and just plain spiteful, yet she is generous, loving and helpful on good days. But I just don''t want her help unless I ask for it. I don''t want her opinion unless I ask for it. I want the wedding to be mine. Is there a way I can tell her to keep her money and leave me alone nicely?
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