Putting your child on a leash????

[aljdewey]

Honestly, there are probably 137 reasons my husband and I decided not to have children.

Today, I added #138 to the list: because I'll never have to put up with the nastiness of other parents telling me how much better they think they do it than I do. How grateful I am to have sidestepped all the sanctimony.

As a non-parent, here's what I think when I see kids on a harness:

That parent cares enough about his/her kid's safety to do whatever it takes to keep the child safe. Bravo.

Not all children are the same, and I appreciate any means a parent uses (whether it's a look, a leash, or any other loving thing) to help his/her child experience the world around them and learn how to behave in that world while being safe.

 

[ruby59]

OK - what do you do in restaurants when your child will not sit in his seat and wants to run between tables or into waiters with heavy trays? what do you do in dark movie theaters when your child wants to run up and down the aisle?

Not take them? Put a harness on them?

Explain to my baby the significance of professor X's role in developing the skills of the younger generation of mutants and teaching them how to control their powers. And if he still wasn't appreciating Professor's contribution, I would use the baby handcuffs. It was dark in the theater so no one saw. . And if he got loud I would load up on the Benadryl or candy to keep him quiet. See a drug or bribe for every situation! Aren't I just resourceful?

In all seriousness, if you don't get it by now, there is nothing more I can do or say that will help. Maybe someone else will have better luck.

I do get it. Our last dining experience was ruined by inconsiderate parents with that attitude. Our child graduated from college last week, and I made reservations at a nice restaurant. Child next to us refused to sit in his booster seat. Explain your reasoning to my mother who was soaked by a glass of water that was spilled on her by that child whizzing by our table.

 

[ruby59]

OK - what do you do in restaurants when your child will not sit in his seat and wants to run between tables or into waiters with heavy trays? what do you do in dark movie theaters when your child wants to run up and down the aisle?

Not take them? Put a harness on them?

Your above quote has nothing to do with the use of harnesses. It has everything to do with good parenting and care giving. Of course good parents don't let their children run between tables or into waiters. Of course there are occasions where they choose not to take their children some place or leave unexpectedly in the middle of something due to a child's poor behaviour for whatever reason.

A harness is not a replacement for teaching a child how to behave, it simply keeps them safe and from bolting off unexpectedly. I think you're missing the point entirely.

IMO, for some parents it is. If you teach them young to walk by your side or sit in a stroller, then you might not have the situation I went through in my last post.

All I know is what I have seen lately. Parents completely disengaged from their children - talking on the phone, shopping. While their bored children are sitting or lying on the floor. One time, a child had apparently fallen asleep.

Safety, maybe. I see lonely children who are just being brought along, but not being taken with you. JMO, of course.

 

[Rhea]

OK - what do you do in restaurants when your child will not sit in his seat and wants to run between tables or into waiters with heavy trays? what do you do in dark movie theaters when your child wants to run up and down the aisle?

Not take them? Put a harness on them?

Explain to my baby the significance of professor X's role in developing the skills of the younger generation of mutants and teaching them how to control their powers. And if he still wasn't appreciating Professor's contribution, I would use the baby handcuffs. It was dark in the theater so no one saw. . And if he got loud I would load up on the Benadryl or candy to keep him quiet. See a drug or bribe for every situation! Aren't I just resourceful?

In all seriousness, if you don't get it by now, there is nothing more I can do or say that will help. Maybe someone else will have better luck.

I do get it. Our last dining experience was ruined by inconsiderate parents with that attitude. Our child graduated from college last week, and I made reservations at a nice restaurant. Child next to us refused to sit in his booster seat. Explain your reasoning to my mother who was soaked by a glass of water that was spilled on her by that child whizzing by our table.

I was under the impression that you were asking about the acceptably of harnesses in current society because you personally didn't like them and didn't think they were necessary when you were raising your children. It sounds like this post is a complaint about parents not watching their children in public, harness or not, which is a completely different topic. Vent away about not watching children, we will all have great stories to tell. But the leash has nothing to do with watching or not watching your child. If your goal is to vent about children running around you may find it better to start a new topic where your purpose is clear.

 

[packrat]

Ehhhh let's just all suck it up and put our big girl underoos on, shall we? Sometimes we go out to eat and someone else's kid cries. Or runs around. Or throws shit. Or screams. I'm glad I'm not the parent being embarrassed by it. I'm glad I'm not the parent having to take the crabby pants kid home. Kids are kids and sometimes they even act like it. Hard to expect a kid to act like an adult when we as adults spend so much time acting like children.

Next time say something to the hostess or the waiter or the manager. And we should all remember that our day is what we make of it. I don't care if it's my wedding or I was at the inauguration of the president--kids will always act like kids and there's no sense in letting something like that ruin your day or your experience. In the grand scheme of things, it's a smaaaalllll portion of our lives to have to deal w/a kid that isn't listening or parents that aren't paying attention.

 

[SB621]

I have a HYPER 3 year old and a 2 year old who WORSHIPS her 3 year old brother so does everything the same. We rarely go out to dinner because asking them to sit through it quietly or coloring is not an option. But I'm digressing.

I'm not a fan of the leash or harness, I personally feel like it promotes laziness with the parent. Now I'm sure many parents use it for safety as indicated here. But I know at the mall during the middle of the day when no one is there and the place is far from crowded you always see Mom's walking around or sitting at a table drinking coffee with their kid leashed to them -completely ignoring them. So it has left a bad taste in my mouth. My kids are active and they are also runners. DH and I prepare as best as we can but stressing holding hands or riding in the stroller. Now my 3 year old can also sit on daddy's shoulders. As much as they can't manage at all sitting down to eat out, they actually do fine in public when they can walk about as long as we are paying attention.

Parenting truly is the hardest job out there, so as long as the harness is used correctly and keeping the child safe I'm fine with it- though I would personally never use it. You do whatever works for you and your kid.

 

[CJ2008]

Ehhhh let's just all suck it up and put our big girl underoos on, shall we? Sometimes we go out to eat and someone else's kid cries. Or runs around. Or throws shit. Or screams. I'm glad I'm not the parent being embarrassed by it. I'm glad I'm not the parent having to take the crabby pants kid home. Kids are kids and sometimes they even act like it. Hard to expect a kid to act like an adult when we as adults spend so much time acting like children.

Next time say something to the hostess or the waiter or the manager. And we should all remember that our day is what we make of it. I don't care if it's my wedding or I was at the inauguration of the president--kids will always act like kids and there's no sense in letting something like that ruin your day or your experience. In the grand scheme of things, it's a smaaaalllll portion of our lives to have to deal w/a kid that isn't listening or parents that aren't paying attention.

I agree with you but only to a certain extent...there's running around and then there's RUNNING AROUND where you're say bumping into people, or kicking someone's chair, or putting others in dangers like falling, etc., because the kids are running rampant in front of others...I also agree with you that everything is what we make of it...but it kind of sucks to be trying to have a nice dinner and hear screams every 5 minutes, for example...

I think I'm pretty tolerant, especially when I do see the parents trying...but it would bug me if the kids were being crrazy and the parents were paying no attention at all.

But I'm thinking that you don't mean any crazy over the top behavior like the examples I gave...

 

[ruby59]

To the person who said it is only a small part of your life - that is fine when you are young. But my mom is 86 years old, and this may be the last graduation she gets to attend. Her dress was soaked and with the air conditioning on, she was shaking from the cold. We had to leave early. She was very upset.

To the person who said I should start another thread because I am bringing in children misbehaving in restaurants and movie theaters into the leash thread, yes imo there is a connection. How do these parents control them in other situations - harness maybe? And just to add, while that little boy was running around the restaurant, the mother did not stop once to connect with him, exactly as another poster pointed out where the mother is sitting at a table having coffee and texting and not looking up once at the child tethered to her.

And thank you to those who understand. I appreciate your support.

 

[ForteKitty]

To the person who said it is only a small part of your life - that is fine when you are young. But my mom is 86 years old, and this may be the last graduation she gets to attend. Her dress was soaked and with the air conditioning on, she was shaking from the cold. We had to leave early. She was very upset.

To the person who said I should start another thread because I am bringing in children misbehaving in restaurants and movie theaters into the leash thread, yes imo there is a connection. How do these parents control them in other situations - harness maybe? And just to add, while that little boy was running around the restaurant, the mother did not stop once to correct him, exactly as another poster pointed out where the mother is sitting at a table having coffee and texting and not looking up once at her child tethered to her.

And thank you to those who understand. I appreciate your support.

I doubt those types of parents would even bother with a harness. There are parents who don't control their kids, period.

IMO, parents who use harnesses care enough to not let their kids get too far, and I appreciate it. I almost ran into a kid last week with my car. She darted out between two cars and was halfway across a busy street before her parents even noticed. They were standing on the sidewalk, chatting with some friends. Luckily I was driving very slow, or else I wouldn't have been able to stop in time.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Interestingly, not one argument against the use of harnesses was that it was harmful for the child. If it does no harm, then it boils down to the parents' choice and lifestyle.

In my experience, careless, uninterested parents will be careless and uninterested regardless of what gadget, technology or convenience is given them. If the child weren't on a harness, they would be running around. They certainly wouldn't be holding the parent's hand while the parent chatted, texted or whatever. At least, nowadays, the child won't (mostly) be just left alone in the car if they are inconvenient.

If the similarity to a dog's leash bothers you, I hope you never ask for a doggy bag

A harness can be a safety measure, a convenience or a way to neglect the child. Without further evidence, it is hardly fair to condemn all users for it.

 

[Rhea]

In my experience, careless, uninterested parents will be careless and uninterested regardless of what gadget, technology or convenience is given them. If the child weren't on a harness, they would be running around. They certainly wouldn't be holding the parent's hand while the parent chatted, texted or whatever. At least, nowadays, the child won't (mostly) be just left alone in the car if they are inconvenient.

...

A harness can be a safety measure, a convenience or a way to neglect the child. Without further evidence, it is hardly fair to condemn all users for it.

This. That parent with the running child wouldn't have had control of their child full stop. These parenting tools are just that, tools. They still require someone to use them correctly. It's perfectly possible that they simply don't control their children. You're not that old. Surely you still saw parents not controlling their children before harnesses became common? I know my mother did and she has a good decade on you. Poor parenting is simply that, poor parenting.

 

[ruby59]

Interestingly, not one argument against the use of harnesses was that it was harmful for the child. If it does no harm, then it boils down to the parents' choice and lifestyle.

In my experience, careless, uninterested parents will be careless and uninterested regardless of what gadget, technology or convenience is given them. If the child weren't on a harness, they would be running around. They certainly wouldn't be holding the parent's hand while the parent chatted, texted or whatever. At least, nowadays, the child won't (mostly) be just left alone in the car if they are inconvenient.

If the similarity to a dog's leash bothers you, I hope you never ask for a doggy bag

A harness can be a safety measure, a convenience or a way to neglect the child. Without further evidence, it is hardly fair to condemn all users for it.

What about a child's self esteem? Which is why I asked how long do you keep them on a harness? At what age do children identify with themselves as individuals and with their peers? Would a child be upset to having another child see them like this or they would not care. Because I have seen snickers from both parents and young children.

Also, if you had to watch your children constantly as opposed to knowing they could not get away from you, would you/do you give them the same interaction and attention?

Dog leash on a human child vs a snack to bring home? I get it but I do not see how they would compare.

 

[TooPatient]

To the person who said it is only a small part of your life - that is fine when you are young. But my mom is 86 years old, and this may be the last graduation she gets to attend. Her dress was soaked and with the air conditioning on, she was shaking from the cold. We had to leave early. She was very upset.

To the person who said I should start another thread because I am bringing in children misbehaving in restaurants and movie theaters into the leash thread, yes imo there is a connection. How do these parents control them in other situations - harness maybe? And just to add, while that little boy was running around the restaurant, the mother did not stop once to connect with him, exactly as another poster pointed out where the mother is sitting at a table having coffee and texting and not looking up once at the child tethered to her.

And thank you to those who understand. I appreciate your support.

Ruby -- How horrible! I hope your mom is okay after getting so cold.

The reality is that this may only be a small part of your life, but sometime the smallest parts of life have the biggest consequences!

I've nearly run into kids running loose in parking lots. Some were with parents who were clearly doing the best they could and trying to keep a hold of the kid who could squirm out of everything. Some were with parents who didn't even notice. Such is life.
I'd rather the good parents have one more tool available to them as they teach their kids to behave in life. (a little tether so they can't get into danger if they do squirm free seems like a great option for some!)
I'd also rather the irresponsible negligent parents have a way to keep their kid within a few feet of them too. If they are going to ignore the kid, I'd rather that kid not run out in front of my car.

Can you imagine what a person feels for the rest of their life if they run over a kid who comes running out between parked cars?
What if that older woman with a walker gets knocked over by a kid and dies from her injuries? (FWIW, I'm on a knee scooter right now and had a 4-5 year old run right into me.... so it does happen.)
What if that woman with wet clothes ends up with pneumonia?


You've got to take the kids out sometimes. As someone mentioned above, it may not be possible to time all shopping and errands for when you can leave the kids with someone.
It is also true that if they don't get exposed to life, they'll never see and learn how they are supposed to behave.
Got that.
But as parents, it is your choice to be aware and teach your kids or be so focused on your cell-phone/conversation/coffee that your kids are wild. No tools can fix bad parenting.

 

[ruby59]

Thank you. She has CHF, so it was a concern that she not get chilled.

There are dangers in restaurants also. Children who are tethered in other situations but let lose there can be extremely hurt if someone drops a scalding pot of coffee or a tray full of heavy plates on them. Or they can hurt someone else. If a child ran into my mother causing her to fall, she could easily break a hip, and that would be the end.

 

[ForteKitty]

What about a child's self esteem? Which is why I asked how long do you keep them on a harness? At what age do children identify with themselves as individuals and with their peers? Would a child be upset to having another child see them like this or they would not care. Because I have seen snickers from both parents and young children.

.

Some kids think it's fun! My friend's 2 yr old asks to wear her harness and she loves to "superman". She's not a runner or a darter, but they put one on her just in case. Some kids prefer that over hand holding, as they think that hand holding are for babies. (their words, not mine)

Harnesses have been around for a very long time, and I don't think I've ever heard a teen or adult complain about how being harnessed as a kid was detrimental to their mental well being.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

What about a child's self esteem? Which is why I asked how long do you keep them on a harness? At what age do children identify with themselves as individuals and with their peers? Would a child be upset to having another child see them like this or they would not care. Because I have seen snickers from both parents and young children.

Also, if you had to watch your children constantly as opposed to knowing they could not get away from you, would you/do you give them the same interaction and attention?

Dog leash on a human child vs a snack to bring home? I get it but I do not see how they would compare.

The same could be said of strapping a child in a stroller, placing them in a playpen or any other form of restraint that is commonly used for small children. Or even of holding a child's hand tightly when walking in public, which is the alternative. Of course, there is an age limitation to all of these. I wouldn't put a harness on a 6 year old (unless there are other factors at play), just as I would no longer be using baby gates or corner protectors.

A child harness is no more a dog leash than a doggy bag is dog food.

 

[arkieb1]

Interestingly, not one argument against the use of harnesses was that it was harmful for the child. If it does no harm, then it boils down to the parents' choice and lifestyle.

In my experience, careless, uninterested parents will be careless and uninterested regardless of what gadget, technology or convenience is given them. If the child weren't on a harness, they would be running around. They certainly wouldn't be holding the parent's hand while the parent chatted, texted or whatever. At least, nowadays, the child won't (mostly) be just left alone in the car if they are inconvenient.

If the similarity to a dog's leash bothers you, I hope you never ask for a doggy bag

A harness can be a safety measure, a convenience or a way to neglect the child. Without further evidence, it is hardly fair to condemn all users for it.

What about a child's self esteem? Which is why I asked how long do you keep them on a harness? At what age do children identify with themselves as individuals and with their peers? Would a child be upset to having another child see them like this or they would not care. Because I have seen snickers from both parents and young children.

Also, if you had to watch your children constantly as opposed to knowing they could not get away from you, would you/do you give them the same interaction and attention?

Dog leash on a human child vs a snack to bring home? I get it but I do not see how they would compare.

My son wouldn't even remember he was ever on a leash he was so young, he knows his parents keep him safe and make him feel safe and that is all that matters..... and I doubt my friend's son remembers being on a leash either despite being on one when he was an older child. So it seems to be YOU with the issue about kids being on them, not the kids themselves.

Just because I had my son on a leash so that he did not get hit by a car that did NOT mean that I watched him any less in fact to be honest with you, I think I watched him more because he could potentially get tangled around poles, shopping carts, clothing racks, and knock over people who walked into the leash. I never sat anywhere and totally ignored him while he was on one, and I am sure while you have seen some people do this it doesn't mean everyone is the same.

I just don't see how having a child on a leash = bad parenting and/or damaged children. In fact I agree with everyone else it demonstrates that people who use them don't want their kids to be able to run off and be hurt or taken by someone.

I am sorry about your mother, I hope that the people apologised to you.

There are bad, abusive, neglectful parents in the world, just as there are bad, rude, abusive and negligent people that exist in society as well..... There are some that are just tired and worn out and others that don't care about disciplining their kids. Some children have behaviour issues and things wrong with them and despite the drugs, the best medical intervention and behaviour modification, and so on, they will always be difficult to manage in social situations. They still do have the right to participate in society like everyone else.

Before I had children I, like you probably was very quick to judge other people with screaming children on the floor or going nuts when I went out, but now after having them myself I realise it's a tough, thankless job, I think by in large most parents do the very best they can with the resources that they have and really that is all anyone can ask.

 

[momhappy]

Ehhhh let's just all suck it up and put our big girl underoos on, shall we? Sometimes we go out to eat and someone else's kid cries. Or runs around. Or throws shit. Or screams. I'm glad I'm not the parent being embarrassed by it. I'm glad I'm not the parent having to take the crabby pants kid home. Kids are kids and sometimes they even act like it. Hard to expect a kid to act like an adult when we as adults spend so much time acting like children.

Next time say something to the hostess or the waiter or the manager. And we should all remember that our day is what we make of it. I don't care if it's my wedding or I was at the inauguration of the president--kids will always act like kids and there's no sense in letting something like that ruin your day or your experience. In the grand scheme of things, it's a smaaaalllll portion of our lives to have to deal w/a kid that isn't listening or parents that aren't paying attention.

Yes, to some extent, we all have to share space and live together. However, I have always been sensitive about how my kids act in public. I don't agree with "kids will be kids" if it means running, or throwing things, or screaming, etc. in a shared/public space (like a restaurant, store, etc.) and that's not something that I ever put up with. Ever. If my kids want to run/scream/play, we went to our playroom, or the park, or our yard, etc. I realize that may not work for every family, but it worked for mine.

 

[packrat]

I'm not a kids will be kids type of person either. I deal w/that crap at work w/the parents of preschoolers who can't be bothered. I just told my lead teacher the other day that if my kids acted the way the majority of our preschoolers act, I'd be mortified. What I'm trying to get across is that sometimes kids act like kids. Not helling around breaking things, pushing people in front of trains. I'm talking your child holding your hand and everything is find and then the second you stop to say hi to someone, taking that instant to break away and tear down the sidewalk and laugh hysterically. Or hiding in a rack of clothes at the store. That's kids being kids. And it happens to every parent. And there are times when the kids are being shits and parents aren't paying attention. That's when it's a good time to find someone who is in charge at the establishment and point out that there could very well be a lawsuit if that kid were to knock your mom to the floor. Or say something to the parents. I wasn't referring to the times that are the possibly last times. I was referring to a general comment about going out to a nice dinner and getting a glass of water dumped in a lap. that, to me, a glass of water, isn't that big a deal, in the grand scheme of things. Not coffee, nobody fell w/a knife in their hand. No there's no excuse for parents not controlling their kid, but in *some* instances, I'm saying, it's not something that will ruin the whole rest of your life. Like you're not going to end up in therapy b/c you had a glass of water spilled on you b/c of a bratty kid and inconsiderate parents, is what I'm saying. It wasn't mentioned that it was an 80+ year old woman w/serious health problems, those extra details make a difference. (again, not to say there's no excuse, just that if a kid runs by and London trips and bumps into the wall, eh, she's 10 she'll get over it, but my gramma in that situation would end up in the ER) I hope you said something. If that had been my gramma I'd have been *livid* and I'm just bitchy enough to bring a glass of water over to the parents table and give a big smile and tell them they get the choice of where this glass of water is going to end up.

and if I'd leashed my kids when they were little, I'd take pictures.

 

[Sparklelu]

Saw this on FB today and had to laugh....Then there are these folks who not only strap the kiddo in, never take them out? Lol

 

[packrat]

hahahaha nice. looks like it's feeding time.

 

[luv2sparkle]

That is insane, Sparklelu!

 

[zoebartlett]

I don't get the comments like, "we just teach our children to behave in public," as if others (who use harnesses) don't. Do you (anyone who has said this) really think parents aren't trying to do this? I'm not into one-up manship, and this type of comment is like a slap on the wrist. I'm not a parent but I hate that others make parents feel bad for doing what works for them.

If it helps keep a child safe and within arms' reach, yet help him or her feel somewhat more independent, why should it bother me?

 

[SB621]

Saw this on FB today and had to laugh....Then there are these folks who not only strap the kiddo in, never take them out? Lol

Wooooaaa I worry all the time if I'm a good parent but I just think I skyrocketed up there in terms of being a great parent after that picture!!! OMG seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[arkieb1]

Lucky the kids in the strollers aren't wearing bright orange or red. I think that Tigers respond to red in particular and orange as another tiger ie a threat and are more likely to come over ready to attack or at least they tell you to wear soothing colours like blue or white when you go on Tiger walks at zoos and in Asian countries.....

It would be even better if we could see a picture of a couple of Tigers in the distance and the caption near their heads saying "look here, comes lunch...."

 

[momhappy]

I don't get the comments like, "we just teach our children to behave in public," as if others (who use harnesses) don't. Do you (anyone who has said this) really think parents aren't trying to do this? I'm not into one-up manship, and this type of comment is like a slap on the wrist. I'm not a parent but I hate that others make parents feel bad for doing what works for them.

If it helps keep a child safe and within arms' reach, yet help him or her feel somewhat more independent, why should it bother me?

I said that I teach my kids to behave in public, but I never said that those who use a leash don't. If you feel that way, that's your interpretation (not mine). I said that every family has to do what works for them, so if using a leash on your child works for you, great!
My family, however, didn't use leashes because my husband and I taught our children how we expected them to behave in public spaces like restaurants, stores, etc. (which included things like no running, no screaming, no climbing on things that aren't meant to be climbed on, etc.). Again, if using a leash taught your children those same things, then I guess that it just comes down to a difference in methodology.
As far as your question about whether or not I really think that parents aren't trying to teach their children how to behave, my answer is yes and no. Leash or no leash, I often see children running amok in public. I am sometimes amazed at what some parents think is acceptable behavior (like climbing a booth in restaurant as though it's a jungle gym in a park). I see a lack of discipline, a lack of respect, a lack of control. I saw it as a teacher too and it's rather disturbing. When is the last time you heard a kid say please or thank you? I realize that we are all very different and we have different standards/expectations, but how hard can it be to practice a basic set of manners & etiquette? Especially, in public spaces where we all have to be tolerant of one another. Sitting next to a screaming, climbing, running child in a restaurant is irritating and I feel that parents should be sensitive to that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not making generalized statements about ALL parents - I'm saying some parents/some kids. I do see parents trying and some try harder than others. I see (and know) children that can be particularly challenging (due to their level of activity, etc.) and I get that. I have a child with some special needs, so I am sensitive to the fact that we all have our own set of challenges and most of us, do the best we can. I'm not a perfect parent - FAR from it, but I am proud of the fact that my kids know how to behave in public. We are often complimented by complete strangers about our children's manners. Parenting is the hardest job I've ever had, so it's nice to know that we've at least done something right. Just because we accomplished that by not using a leash, doesn't mean that I think that using a leash is wrong. I used other types of restrictive devices (like strollers, baby carries, etc.), so we all have our own means of "control" at different stages. If a parent is using a leash appropriately, then I think that it's great that they've found something that works for them and clearly, they are taking steps to ensure the safety of their child

 

[missy]

Time has taught me not to judge others. It's easy to put your perceptions and thoughts of right and wrong on what others do but until you have spent time in their lives doing what they do and seeing things from their unique perspective none of your judgments mean anything IMO.

I am quite sure that there are good parents who use harnesses/leashes and bad parents who don't as well as good parents who don't and bad parents who do. Using one or not using one is meaningless regarding parents being good parents or bad parents IMO.

For safety reasons I am all for it period and who is anyone else to judge. It annoys me when people behave self righteously. Do what is right for you and your family and stop looking to put yourselves above others based on their choices.

As for restaurants and children that is another annoying bee in my bonnet so to speak. I cannot tell you how rude some parents are letting their kids run all over the place at nice restaurants at later hours. Specific example (and I have numerous examples unfortunately) we were dining with friends at Blue Water Grill at 8 PM one Monday evening in October 2013 and this family at a nearby table had 2 children that they were allowing to run wild and who were screaming at the top of their lungs for fun. Not crying or anything and not in any distress. The children were around 2 and 4 yo and truly behaving badly.

I blame the parents 100% as you could see they thought it amusing and did not a thing to try to quiet them or stop them from banging on the table and running around the restaurant. The server came over and apologized and asked if we wanted to move tables but said there was nothing she could do about what was going on at that table. It was a disappointing experience and our friends refuse to go back to Blue Water and we haven't been back either since that incident last October.

Not the children's fault in any way but totally the parents fault and yes I think it is acceptable to pass judgment on those parents in that specific example. And I doubt they use any sort of harness or leash on their children because they seem the type to let them run wild and free and I can only hope they keep careful watch on them when they are out and about.

In general however I do not see how one can judge how good or bad a parent is from using a leash and in fact find it distasteful when people do judge others based on things like that. Until you walk a mile in their shoes...

 

[LaraOnline]

Lose your toddler child in public once -even better while caring for other children at the same time - and I guarantee you will look at the concept of a tether in new light.
Personally I find them a little hard to handle because you must be aware of the cord in relation to other people and object...
also my children fussed against them on the rare occasion that I got ours out (I had a really cute koala backpack one)

but for peace of mind in busy or unfamiliar areas?
Only a person that has forgotten their experiences with two year olds would automatically call a tether 'wrong'.

 

[monarch64]

We've bitched about kids in restaurants and on airplanes here like a million times.

Kids exist in the world. Get over it. How many threads do we need about how awful parents are? And what is the purpose? So the OP can pat themselves on the back for doing such a great job parenting? Please.

I'm pretty sure the overwhelming majority of this community is able to control their children and make wise decisions when it comes to caring for them. But if you really need to congratulate yourself for being a perfect parent why don't you just name the thread "I Was the Best Parent EVER."

LALove and AlJ said it best, imo. Mommy wars, and sancti-mommies. Yuck, no thanks.

 

[LLJsmom]

OK - what do you do in restaurants when your child will not sit in his seat and wants to run between tables or into waiters with heavy trays? what do you do in dark movie theaters when your child wants to run up and down the aisle?

Not take them? Put a harness on them?

Explain to my baby the significance of professor X's role in developing the skills of the younger generation of mutants and teaching them how to control their powers. And if he still wasn't appreciating Professor's contribution, I would use the baby handcuffs. It was dark in the theater so no one saw. . And if he got loud I would load up on the Benadryl or candy to keep him quiet. See a drug or bribe for every situation! Aren't I just resourceful?

In all seriousness, if you don't get it by now, there is nothing more I can do or say that will help. Maybe someone else will have better luck.

I do get it. Our last dining experience was ruined by inconsiderate parents with that attitude. Our child graduated from college last week, and I made reservations at a nice restaurant. Child next to us refused to sit in his booster seat. Explain your reasoning to my mother who was soaked by a glass of water that was spilled on her by that child whizzing by our table.

Not a fan of X-men huh? Ruby, I clearly was not understanding that your original question about leashes was the beginning of a rant about poor and irresponsible parenting. For the record, my comment was a JOKE. I WAS KIDDING. (My son wasn't even born yet when the first X-men movie came out.) (professor x to a 2 year old? baby handcuffs, benadryl, candy?? I was trying to sound ridiculous but clearly I did use the right approach.) The way I read your train of thought, I felt like you were passing judgement on parents based on the one act of using a leash, which did not make sense and seemed completely unfair. Even though I don't owe you an explanation about my methods of parenting, I will tell you that I didn't start taking my children to movie until they were seven and I made sure they could sit still and quietly through a 2 hour feature.

Other than that, rant away Ruby. Now I see that when you were commenting about leashes, it was actually the start of "parents of young children these days..." comment. I am sorry about the horrible experience your mother had to endure. It's your right to believe whatever you like. However, for your own sake and peace of mind, I would suggest that you let your bitterness go because if you go in public, you will see children and young parents everywhere. I'm not going to try to explain why it's doesn't seem reasonable or wise to judge parents or children because so many PSers have already done so extremely well and in many different ways. Even if you don't want to understand them, I hope that you will try for your own sake. Young children and families of all behavioral tendencies that will venture into public are here to stay. We no longer live in a society where children should be seen and not heard. Society in general has changed over the years. I'm in my 40s and I don't raise my children in exactly the same way my parents raised me, some similarities and some differences. People and society change over time. It's inevitable. Just like we can't go back to the horse drawn carriage. Now I don't want to get into an argument about what was better and what was worse about child rearing, because there is ALWAYS better and worse, and certain things should change, and certain things shouldn't. That's a whole other post and I don't see how that adds value here. I'm saying that staying bitter will not make this any easier for you. And as an aside, isn't it tiring and mentally and emotionally exhausting being angry and judging people wherever you see a young family? Maybe your aren't, but from your posts, it sounds like to me you are. I really wish you well Ruby. I mean this most sincerely. I hope that you can take a step back and find a way to work this out in your own mind because parents and young children are a fact of life and they're here to stay.