Renewing Wedding Vows...very stressful!

[Cellini3]

Hi All,
Former lurker here

Ready to post. We''re renewing our wedding vows(sounds so strange like they expired or something?) on Valentines Day. We briefly seperated (although neither one of us moved out due to $) it was still important to us to do something public. We''re having our 4 kiddos involved and just a simple ceremony. Bought the dress and have gained weight so now it doesn''t fit...strangely similar to wedding day. Planning a ceremony even a small one with 4 kiddos (aged 3 and younger)is brutal! So much harder than planning the wedding and working! Think it will be a really fun party, but in the meantime how do I manage all this? Since it isn''t a wedding there aren''t people really wanting to help out, family lives far away so it is all on me.

Did anyone call off their ceremony & "elope" instead? The idea is very tempting even though I''ve already pd deposits, invited guests & have decorations.

Anyone been in a similar place?

 

[AmberGretchen]

I think organization will be crucial - I''d make lists of things that need to get done, and have deadlines for yourself for each task or set of tasks. I think by setting clear goals and being sure to focus on the essential things before the optional things, it will be easier for you to get everything done in a timely fashion.

Good luck - it sounds like a full plate you''ve got right now!

 

[teapot]

I would involve my friends and family. Although they have not offered to help, they might be waiting for you to ask. If people can''t help plan the renewal, they might be able to help keep the kids company as you plan or they can help you figure out how to solve your problems.

Aside from that, you just need to get organized. Make list of action items and be realistic with your time frames.

Good luck.

 

[Cellini3]

Thanks for the posts. I agree with the organization...sadly my "area of growth".
There is an online site that helps with this stuff that I half-heartedly used. Guess it is time to crank it up. Also, think that just asking for help might work too. Just felt kinda strange since we are already married, but this is still a big deal.

I planned our whole wedding in under 6 weeks, but that was before children and before hubby worked 2 jobs.
Thanks again and will follow up with pics from our ceremony...if we don''t just elope

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Cellini, your 4 children are 3 years and younger? Bless you! (We share some common interests such as adoption.) I think it is wonderful you are renewing your vows! I hope it all goes well and you can enjoy your day! I''d just focus on making it as stress-free as possible!

 

[honey22]

It''s so nice to hear of people renewing their vows! I think it''s totally romantic.

Don''t stress about it, we are all here to help you with the details

Make a list and start tackling things one at a time, I find that if I try and do bits of pieces of a few things, I just get stressed and achieve nothing and want to give up.

Good luck!!

 

[tlh]

I bought this thing called the Bride''s Book and it was basically an organizer. I like lists, and I could check off when things were done. Plus, I found that people want to help but they don''t know to ask. I found though when I asked, Hey XXX will you help me address the invitations Saturday, It was sure, what time do you want me over? Or Hey, XXX can you help me assemble the favors? Sure, sounds fun!
You can''t be upset for people not knowing what your needs are if you don''t tell them. Plus, they may not know you need help, as it is not a traditional, wedding, but as you said a party with a vow renewal. I would make lists of WHAT you need help with, and then ask people to help you in those areas.
I know you said you are wanting to elope... and man do I wish I did. I was stressed out all day. The only part I really enjoyed was the ceremony. During the reception I was monopolized by my MIL''s friends who I WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN.... and it sucked. However, you also said the reason you are doing this is because you want people to know that you are back together after being seperated, in a public way. I don''t think eloping will help, because you are already married, and people may be confused... at why since you were already married, you ran off, and re-married? and then held a party. If it is the renewal of your vows, to show YOURSELVES that you mean FOR BETTER FOR WORSE, then do that however you please. But, honestly, I am a little confused.
I think it is beautiful that you and your husband are recommitted and fell back in love with each other through a little rough patch. I''ve noticed with some of my friends when the kids arrived, it felt like the romance went out the door, and with multiple children, that it was kids all the time, and little room for the marital relationship. I think your family fully understands that. Which is why I think if you explained why it was important to you, to recommit yourselves, say your vows in front of those that matter most to you, (with clergy?) I think most people will find the TRUE meaning of why they are there and will enjoy it. I think if you explain this, when you ask for help, people will pitch in and do what they can... just ask specific things for them to do.
Best wishes, on your vow renewal, and all the ups and downs of wedding planning. HUGS!