slightly controversial

[vc10um]

Date: 12/9/2009 2:02:43 PM
Author: LilyKat
I think it depends to a large extent on your nature and your relationship.

If you are in a happy, secure relationship, know you are both on the same page regarding the future and marriage, I think it''s exciting and fun to be part of a community where others are in the same state of anticipation. Seeing others getting engaged is wonderful, because you know your own story is just around the corner. That''s why I enjoy being here. If that''s not the case, I can see this board being a source of bitterness and frustration, and would probably stay away.

THIS!!! I''m definitely on the same side of the proverbial fence as LilyKat. I wasn''t when I joined...I was in a full-blown bout of LIW-itis when ladyciel suggested I start checking out Pricescope and I found LIW. Seeing that other people felt the way I did helped me calm down and return to normal and realize that things will come in their time and I can move over to BWW one day. But if I wasn''t so secure in my relationship, knowing that someday we did want to get married, etc...I can see how I could have fallen over to the other side of the fence.

 

[Callisto]

I was just thinking about this a bit more and I think my other issue is that I think sometimes when I show SO a ring I think is pretty he might interpret that as pressure when in reality I''m just showing him something I think is pretty. If I found a picture of a flower, or a sunset, or a dog, or even a sweater I liked, I would probably show him those too... so I bet that doesn''t help minimize tension over getting engaged either.

I try to tell him whenever engagements come up that I''m not pressuring him at all. Maybe I need to stress that more. Idk, I have NO doubt in my mind that he wants to marry me. Honestly I think getting engaged freaks him out more than the idea of getting married... which seems really backwards but he easily talks about us being married and having a family, but then the "E" word comes up and he wigs out.

 

[Dreamgirl]

titan- Ok, here goes: I completly understand what you are saying. It gets to be stressful. And I've been a LIW for quite a whlie now so I would know. Ultimately it depends on each person's personality.

Yes, its helpful (depending on subject) to me but I step away a lot now-a-days for more than one reason. One of which being that it gets to be too much. I sit back and think how silly it is for me to constantly be so concerned with a ring, with getting engaged to the point where I don't feel its healthy for any of us to worry about that kind of stuff daily. It truly isn't. I feel that it creates these anxieties that shouldn't even exist in our thoughts and it creates added pressure IMHO.

I originally joined this site thinking it would help my anxieties. It hasn't helped that part but I found that it was a good place for friendships with people interested in the same things as I was. But I've noticed when I come around then it's on my mind. When that is the topic of the day, and the next day, and the next...of course you would think about it 24/7 and talk about it 24/7. That's why I originally created the LIW Small Talk Thread that has transformed into something more like former LIW small talk lol! (as I see not many LIW's are in there so I don't often go in there anymore as I feel out of place.

) And to answer your question, NO...it isn't the best thing we could be doing. What we sould be doing is enjoying our relationships we are currently in and live for today and not worry so much about tomorrow! (Trying to take my own advice) As far as my own anxieties, I'm working on them on my own and so far it's been working...

However, people are very helpful around here and it can be good to talk about it if its on your mind of if you've had something exciting happen to you in the process and you want to share (I do it) but you can get hooked on PS very easily. Especially if you come around on a daily basis. Because then you are surrounding yourself with the same topic.....diamonds, engagement and anxiety. That in turn makes you think about it constantly. KWIM?

We are LIW's for a reason (because it's already on our minds) But it also adds fule to the fire when we talk about it ALL-THE-TIME. Basically I'm saying PS is good, helpful etc..etc.. but it can be bad. It all depends on what effect it has on you. So in all of that, if you feel once or twice a week is good enough for you, then that's what it should be. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all.

 

[nkarma]

I think the women are leaving PS are the type to get influenced over this stuff and recognize it and want to change it. It's like a former druggie not hanging out with their previous friends because drugs will be all around them. They are likely not getting upset because of PS but realize they are getting way too emotional about this stuff and need to cut out this board because at that point it only fuels the fire.

I have said this before, but I do think though that in some posts, some people on this board rile up the LIW more than they should by telling them to question their relationship because he has not proposed yet. Or they don't recognize the woman's role in affecting the relationship/what the guy does (aka woman nags man about proposing, man nags woman back or woman gets upset a lot because she is depressed, man questions relationship).

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/9/2009 2:02:43 PM
Author: LilyKat
I think it depends to a large extent on your nature and your relationship.

If you are in a happy, secure relationship, know you are both on the same page regarding the future and marriage, I think it''s exciting and fun to be part of a community where others are in the same state of anticipation. Seeing others getting engaged is wonderful, because you know your own story is just around the corner. That''s why I enjoy being here. If that''s not the case, I can see this board being a source of bitterness and frustration, and would probably stay away.

Respectfully, I couldn''t disagree more. You make it sound like only the ones in bad relationships have a hard time with the LIW board which is completely untrue. I''m in a very happy, loving, secure relationship knowing we are on the same page for the future...and PS can get to me from time to time.

 

[nkarma]

Date: 12/9/2009 6:35:51 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/9/2009 2:02:43 PM
Author: LilyKat
I think it depends to a large extent on your nature and your relationship.

If you are in a happy, secure relationship, know you are both on the same page regarding the future and marriage, I think it's exciting and fun to be part of a community where others are in the same state of anticipation. Seeing others getting engaged is wonderful, because you know your own story is just around the corner. That's why I enjoy being here. If that's not the case, I can see this board being a source of bitterness and frustration, and would probably stay away.

Respectfully, I couldn't disagree more. You make it sound like only the ones in bad relationships have a hard time with the LIW board which is completely untrue. I'm in a very happy, loving, secure relationship knowing we are on the same page for the future...and PS can get to me from time to time.

I disagree as well. A lot of girls on here are either ready before their bf or their bf just has a different timeline of when things should happen. We wouldn't have this board if it wasn't the case. I think most are on the same page as far as the future and marriage (from the posts I have read), but get impatient for one reason or another...maybe cause they love the fella!

I joined this site looking for rings, knowing one would be coming soon and found LIW later. I am not sure if LIW was helpful. Did it fuel the fire or ease it? I actually have no idea.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Honestly, I felt like Facebook has been worse for my bouts of LIWitis than this forum has been. I know this is where people gather when they think they are getting engaged, so I can keep in mind the fact that this is a very select population. Plus, when things were not going as planned (i.e. my BF lost his job for 6 months), I just came on this forum less and went to others. Facebook is much harder to avoid, and this year tons of my friends were getting engaged, and/or getting married. Plus I was finding old friends who I have not spoken to in years and realized they were married with kids. That was harder because it is real life.

These pressures are going to be everywhere. Everyone''s life marches to the beat of its own drum. Some people figure this out and are content with this, some people don''t. Those are the people who are going to make the mistake of judging their own life against someone elce''s.

 

[titian23]

@ Dreamgirl and Nkarma - thank you both, I couldn''t agree with you more! I am very happy in my relationship and me obsessing over when the engagement is going to happen (I''ll admit I have been doing that a bit)and wanting to try to think and talk about it less is definitely not a sign that my relationship isn''t secure OR a sign that all i care about is the engagement!

Dreamgirl I think you are right there are some great people here who give wonderful words of kindess and support and I don''t think I''ll be leaving anytime soon, but maybe I''ll check out the small talk thread just a little bit more often then the timeline threads!

 

[fuzzers]

Date: 12/9/2009 5:39:39 PM
Author: Callisto
I was just thinking about this a bit more and I think my other issue is that I think sometimes when I show SO a ring I think is pretty he might interpret that as pressure when in reality I''m just showing him something I think is pretty. If I found a picture of a flower, or a sunset, or a dog, or even a sweater I liked, I would probably show him those too... so I bet that doesn''t help minimize tension over getting engaged either.

I try to tell him whenever engagements come up that I''m not pressuring him at all. Maybe I need to stress that more. Idk, I have NO doubt in my mind that he wants to marry me. Honestly I think getting engaged freaks him out more than the idea of getting married... which seems really backwards but he easily talks about us being married and having a family, but then the ''E'' word comes up and he wigs out.

I feel ya!! I think the exact same thing about SO.

 

[defyingravity]

Date: 12/9/2009 6:35:51 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/9/2009 2:02:43 PM

Author: LilyKat

I think it depends to a large extent on your nature and your relationship.


If you are in a happy, secure relationship, know you are both on the same page regarding the future and marriage, I think it''s exciting and fun to be part of a community where others are in the same state of anticipation. Seeing others getting engaged is wonderful, because you know your own story is just around the corner. That''s why I enjoy being here. If that''s not the case, I can see this board being a source of bitterness and frustration, and would probably stay away.

Respectfully, I couldn''t disagree more. You make it sound like only the ones in bad relationships have a hard time with the LIW board which is completely untrue. I''m in a very happy, loving, secure relationship knowing we are on the same page for the future...and PS can get to me from time to time.

I think for some, it does matter how secure you feel in the relationship. In my situation, I slowly got more obsessed, reading and lurking on the LIW forum. The amount of PSing probably worried my SO (even though he didn''t know about it until I told him later), and he was probably wondering why I was a bit grumpy at the time (although this was also compounded with other factors and problems at the time). I wasn''t confident in our relationship, but I wanted for us to end up together.

In recent months, I''ve come to be a bit more confident and secure in our relationship. And I enjoy coming onto the boards every once in a while to see all the bling, and remind myself that there are people that do think about marriage... but mostly, to learn from others'' experiences. Most of my friends don''t have long, serious relationships and can''t really offer sound advice based from experiences. Although I agree the advice here on PS is skewed a bit, I think it offers a perspective that I don''t have in my "advisory portfolio" or "board of advisors" currently.

All in all, I''ve become more content in the current position of our relationship, and am less anxious that we haven''t really changed. I think this, with a hiatus of PS, helped me to be less crazy about things. I felt vulnerable, and had no one else to talk to. All of the factors together, probably contributed to how I acted. But thankfully, I learned (and my SO being extremely loving and understanding) and now I''m happier than I was previously.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think it''s very common for women (and men sometimes) to get carried away and become obsessed.

I came to PS long after DH and I started talking about marriage. He asked me for ring ideas and I found PS while looking. I stayed because I found a fantastic community with people I could relate to on different levels. I think one mistake a lot of LIWs make is staying on the LIW boards and not really exploring the PS world outside of LIW-land. These are the women I see getting caught up in the whole pre-engagement craziness and then have to leave when their relationship crashes in burns because they''ve become engagement obsessed whack jobs. Notice I said "engagement obsessed." These women for whatever reason are obsessed with ENGAGEMENT, not marriage. They''re obsessed with having a fiance, not building a life with their partner. As such they get hung up on having a particular ring from a particular store and having a dream like proposal. And when they don''t get all of that on their time line, they self destruct. I''ve seen it time and time again. And I''m the first to admit that I had a few moments of crazy before a wise PSer slapped some sense into me.

So when you feel the crazy coming on, you don''t have to leave PS all together, you just have to broaden your horizons. The best thing you can do is start to build an identity outside of the LIW/Proposal/BWW boards.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 12/9/2009 9:22:22 AM
Author: lilyfoot

Date: 12/9/2009 8:23:05 AM

What pains me the worst are the girls here who are obviously with the wrong guy, but want a proposal so bad that they can't even see who they're really with.

This is one of the reasons I was glad I joined LIW. I WAS one of those girls when I first joined!! Nobody IRL was kind enough to point out what kind of a loser I was dating and so eager to marry and when I came on PS, nobody hesitated to give me their honest opinions. Even though I wasn't the one to end the relationship, I was able to bounce back much faster into my life because of the awesome ladies on here. And then when I did meet the right guy, everyone was extremely supportive. I've even gone as far as to recommend LIW to some great girls I know who are waiting because it helped me so much So thank you for that!

**off-topic, please excuse my inability to use the quotation blocks lol

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 12/10/2009 8:41:36 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think it''s very common for women (and men sometimes) to get carried away and become obsessed.

I came to PS long after DH and I started talking about marriage. He asked me for ring ideas and I found PS while looking. I stayed because I found a fantastic community with people I could relate to on different levels. I think one mistake a lot of LIWs make is staying on the LIW boards and not really exploring the PS world outside of LIW-land. These are the women I see getting caught up in the whole pre-engagement craziness and then have to leave when their relationship crashes in burns because they''ve become engagement obsessed whack jobs. Notice I said ''engagement obsessed.'' These women for whatever reason are obsessed with ENGAGEMENT, not marriage. They''re obsessed with having a fiance, not building a life with their partner. As such they get hung up on having a particular ring from a particular store and having a dream like proposal. And when they don''t get all of that on their time line, they self destruct. I''ve seen it time and time again. And I''m the first to admit that I had a few moments of crazy before a wise PSer slapped some sense into me.

So when you feel the crazy coming on, you don''t have to leave PS all together, you just have to broaden your horizons. The best thing you can do is start to build an identity outside of the LIW/Proposal/BWW boards.

100% agree.

I think it''s much easier for women who haven''t discussed marriage with their partners to become obsessed with engagement. I can imagine it would be difficult to be a LIW watching girls move forward while they feel stuck in their relationships. I found this forum looking for ring inspiration, so I never really suffered from true LIW-itis. I did find a great community of people here, and HH is right on - branch out!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/9/2009 6:31:46 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
titan- Ok, here goes: I completly understand what you are saying. It gets to be stressful. And I''ve been a LIW for quite a whlie now so I would know. Ultimately it depends on each person''s personality.

Yes, its helpful (depending on subject) to me but I step away a lot now-a-days for more than one reason. One of which being that it gets to be too much. I sit back and think how silly it is for me to constantly be so concerned with a ring, with getting engaged to the point where I don''t feel its healthy for any of us to worry about that kind of stuff daily. It truly isn''t. I feel that it creates these anxieties that shouldn''t even exist in our thoughts and it creates added pressure IMHO.

I originally joined this site thinking it would help my anxieties. It hasn''t helped that part but I found that it was a good place for friendships with people interested in the same things as I was. But I''ve noticed when I come around then it''s on my mind. When that is the topic of the day, and the next day, and the next...of course you would think about it 24/7 and talk about it 24/7. That''s why I originally created the LIW Small Talk Thread that has transformed into something more like former LIW small talk lol! (as I see not many LIW''s are in there so I don''t often go in there anymore as I feel out of place.

) And to answer your question, NO...it isn''t the best thing we could be doing. What we sould be doing is enjoying our relationships we are currently in and live for today and not worry so much about tomorrow! (Trying to take my own advice) As far as my own anxieties, I''m working on them on my own and so far it''s been working...

However, people are very helpful around here and it can be good to talk about it if its on your mind of if you''ve had something exciting happen to you in the process and you want to share (I do it) but you can get hooked on PS very easily. Especially if you come around on a daily basis. Because then you are surrounding yourself with the same topic.....diamonds, engagement and anxiety. That in turn makes you think about it constantly. KWIM?

We are LIW''s for a reason (because it''s already on our minds) But it also adds fule to the fire when we talk about it ALL-THE-TIME. Basically I''m saying PS is good, helpful etc..etc.. but it can be bad. It all depends on what effect it has on you. So in all of that, if you feel once or twice a week is good enough for you, then that''s what it should be. And I don''t think there is anything wrong with that at all.

Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can''t imagine its because you''re a LIW.

There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

 

[mariewest]

My SO knows I go on these type of sites, and I know he''s not thrilled about it. He thinks I''m "out of control" as he jokes. I think I''m going to think about it either way, but now I have a forum to discuss and vent to people who have similar situations. It is better than constantly talking about it to SO. It may not be healthy, but it''s a good outlet.

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 12/9/2009 6:35:51 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/9/2009 2:02:43 PM

Author: LilyKat

I think it depends to a large extent on your nature and your relationship.


If you are in a happy, secure relationship, know you are both on the same page regarding the future and marriage, I think it's exciting and fun to be part of a community where others are in the same state of anticipation. Seeing others getting engaged is wonderful, because you know your own story is just around the corner. That's why I enjoy being here. If that's not the case, I can see this board being a source of bitterness and frustration, and would probably stay away.

Respectfully, I couldn't disagree more. You make it sound like only the ones in bad relationships have a hard time with the LIW board which is completely untrue. I'm in a very happy, loving, secure relationship knowing we are on the same page for the future...and PS can get to me from time to time.

Dreamgirl, I really didn't mean to imply that people having a hard time with the LIW board were in "bad" relationships - certainly not. I was just speaking for myself. As my boyfriend and I talk about getting married all the time, when we are going to do it, and I know without a doubt that he wants it as much as I do (and when it's coming), I can't imagine being the least bit upset by seeing other women getting engaged or talking about it! For me, being a LIW is a wonderful and exciting time, like waiting to open presents on Christmas Eve, and I love sharing that feeling with others in the same position. But I know that if I wasn't sure how he felt, if he was reluctant to commit or putting off marriage for whatever reason, I would find these boards difficult.

Not saying this extends to anyone else's relationship... just my own feelings.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/10/2009 11:47:06 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can't imagine its because you're a LIW.

There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

I'm not quite exactly sure. I guess originally it was to take us off the subject of engagement, marriage...etc...etc. But when there are shifts from LIW to BWW to a newlywed, there are different topics being discussed that can become unrelatable from time to time for LIW's and so then some don't have anything to say. There isn't anything nessisarily wrong with that. When you relate to people, then you talk! You know I love ya all! Sometimes there just isn't any way I can chime in.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/10/2009 1:19:55 PM
Author: LilyKat
Dreamgirl, I really didn''t mean to imply that people having a hard time with the LIW board were in ''bad'' relationships - certainly not. I was just speaking for myself. As my boyfriend and I talk about getting married all the time, when we are going to do it, and I know without a doubt that he wants it as much as I do (and when it''s coming), I can''t imagine being the least bit upset by seeing other women getting engaged or talking about it! For me, being a LIW is a wonderful and exciting time, like waiting to open presents on Christmas Eve, and I love sharing that feeling with others in the same position. But I know that if I wasn''t sure how he felt, if he was reluctant to commit or putting off marriage for whatever reason, I would find these boards difficult.

Not saying this extends to anyone else''s relationship... just my own feelings.

Oh ok. Thanks for clarifying!

 

[nkarma]

Date: 12/10/2009 1:19:55 PM
Author: LilyKat

Date: 12/9/2009 6:35:51 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/9/2009 2:02:43 PM

Author: LilyKat

I think it depends to a large extent on your nature and your relationship.


If you are in a happy, secure relationship, know you are both on the same page regarding the future and marriage, I think it''s exciting and fun to be part of a community where others are in the same state of anticipation. Seeing others getting engaged is wonderful, because you know your own story is just around the corner. That''s why I enjoy being here. If that''s not the case, I can see this board being a source of bitterness and frustration, and would probably stay away.

Respectfully, I couldn''t disagree more. You make it sound like only the ones in bad relationships have a hard time with the LIW board which is completely untrue. I''m in a very happy, loving, secure relationship knowing we are on the same page for the future...and PS can get to me from time to time.

Dreamgirl, I really didn''t mean to imply that people having a hard time with the LIW board were in ''bad'' relationships - certainly not. I was just speaking for myself. As my boyfriend and I talk about getting married all the time, when we are going to do it, and I know without a doubt that he wants it as much as I do (and when it''s coming), I can''t imagine being the least bit upset by seeing other women getting engaged or talking about it! For me, being a LIW is a wonderful and exciting time, like waiting to open presents on Christmas Eve, and I love sharing that feeling with others in the same position. But I know that if I wasn''t sure how he felt, if he was reluctant to commit or putting off marriage for whatever reason, I would find these boards difficult.

Not saying this extends to anyone else''s relationship... just my own feelings.

Lilykat, I saw in your other post that you know you are going to get engaged at the end of Jan. I really like that it''s out there for both of you and this time can be really special. I have seen for me and others though that did talk about marriage and our future together, there was no date on engagement. At least for me that''s were the apprehension came, not knowing for sure. It looks like you do though and that I think would provide a lot of people with relief if they don''t know.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 12/10/2009 2:24:56 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/10/2009 11:47:06 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can''t imagine its because you''re a LIW.


There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

I''m not quite exactly sure. I guess originally it was to take us off the subject of engagement, marriage...etc...etc. But when there are shifts from LIW to BWW to a newlywed, there are different topics being discussed that can become unrelatable from time to time for LIW''s and so then some don''t have anything to say. There isn''t anything nessisarily wrong with that. When you relate to people, then you talk! You know I love ya all! Sometimes there just isn''t any way I can chime in.

DG I think you''re reading into the current temperature over on the LIW small talk thread wrong. We are usually just talking about work, shopping, poop, drinking or grad school. I''m not sure how those things are unrelatable....And you can change the subject at any time. There are often 3, 4 or 5 conversations going on at one time.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/10/2009 3:52:32 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 12/10/2009 2:24:56 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/10/2009 11:47:06 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can''t imagine its because you''re a LIW.


There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

I''m not quite exactly sure. I guess originally it was to take us off the subject of engagement, marriage...etc...etc. But when there are shifts from LIW to BWW to a newlywed, there are different topics being discussed that can become unrelatable from time to time for LIW''s and so then some don''t have anything to say. There isn''t anything nessisarily wrong with that. When you relate to people, then you talk! You know I love ya all! Sometimes there just isn''t any way I can chime in.

DG I think you''re reading into the current temperature over on the LIW small talk thread wrong. We are usually just talking about work, shopping, poop, drinking or grad school. I''m not sure how those things are unrelatable....And you can change the subject at any time. There are often 3, 4 or 5 conversations going on at one time.

Thats really relatable. Everybody poops!

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/10/2009 3:56:00 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 12/10/2009 3:52:32 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 12/10/2009 2:24:56 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/10/2009 11:47:06 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can''t imagine its because you''re a LIW.


There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

I''m not quite exactly sure. I guess originally it was to take us off the subject of engagement, marriage...etc...etc. But when there are shifts from LIW to BWW to a newlywed, there are different topics being discussed that can become unrelatable from time to time for LIW''s and so then some don''t have anything to say. There isn''t anything nessisarily wrong with that. When you relate to people, then you talk! You know I love ya all! Sometimes there just isn''t any way I can chime in.

DG I think you''re reading into the current temperature over on the LIW small talk thread wrong. We are usually just talking about work, shopping, poop, drinking or grad school. I''m not sure how those things are unrelatable....And you can change the subject at any time. There are often 3, 4 or 5 conversations going on at one time.

Thats really relatable. Everybody poops!

Yeah, but you are pooping with a RING on your finger.

To be honest, I can actually kind of see where DG is coming from. Because of this thread I found myself in the LIW forum for the first time in over a year, and was puzzled to see so many BIW''s and brides posting on that thread, and went decided to pop in a look around... and I didn''t really get why all of you girls were posting in the LIW Small Talk thread??

Just as an outside observer. I was under the assumption that this was the reason we have a BIW/Newlywed forum?

Don''t mind me, I''m can be a bit dense at times.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/10/2009 4:01:29 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/10/2009 3:56:00 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 12/10/2009 3:52:32 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 12/10/2009 2:24:56 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/10/2009 11:47:06 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can't imagine its because you're a LIW.


There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

I'm not quite exactly sure. I guess originally it was to take us off the subject of engagement, marriage...etc...etc. But when there are shifts from LIW to BWW to a newlywed, there are different topics being discussed that can become unrelatable from time to time for LIW's and so then some don't have anything to say. There isn't anything nessisarily wrong with that. When you relate to people, then you talk! You know I love ya all! Sometimes there just isn't any way I can chime in.

DG I think you're reading into the current temperature over on the LIW small talk thread wrong. We are usually just talking about work, shopping, poop, drinking or grad school. I'm not sure how those things are unrelatable....And you can change the subject at any time. There are often 3, 4 or 5 conversations going on at one time.

Thats really relatable. Everybody poops!

Yeah, but you are pooping with a RING on your finger.

To be honest, I can actually kind of see where DG is coming from. Because of this thread I found myself in the LIW forum for the first time in over a year, and was puzzled to see so many BIW's and brides posting on that thread, and went decided to pop in a look around... and I didn't really get why all of you girls were posting in the LIW Small Talk thread??

Just as an outside observer. I was under the assumption that this was the reason we have a BIW/Newlywed forum?

Don't mind me, I'm can be a bit dense at times.

It does make it more special to have the ring. Every poop counts.

I dont know, I mean.. its not like the subforums are segregated to keep people from posting in certain areas. Its just dividing subject matter. There are married people with babies who come in to LIW to give advice.. I never thought that they shouldnt post there because they're not LIWs. It is a "Small Talk" thread, and we're making small talk. Is LIW small talk really that different from Bridal or Newlywed small talk?

Rarely does the fact that I'm married play into what I say... other than saying DH instead of BF. Doesn't make me unrelatable.

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/10/2009 4:01:29 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/10/2009 3:56:00 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 12/10/2009 3:52:32 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 12/10/2009 2:24:56 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/10/2009 11:47:06 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Not sure why you would feel out of place DG. I can''t imagine its because you''re a LIW.


There is a mix of LIWs, Brides, and Newlyweds in there. Its a group of us that talk about life and nonsense. I dont see how some of us not being LIWs anymore makes us unrelatable?

I''m not quite exactly sure. I guess originally it was to take us off the subject of engagement, marriage...etc...etc. But when there are shifts from LIW to BWW to a newlywed, there are different topics being discussed that can become unrelatable from time to time for LIW''s and so then some don''t have anything to say. There isn''t anything nessisarily wrong with that. When you relate to people, then you talk! You know I love ya all! Sometimes there just isn''t any way I can chime in.

DG I think you''re reading into the current temperature over on the LIW small talk thread wrong. We are usually just talking about work, shopping, poop, drinking or grad school. I''m not sure how those things are unrelatable....And you can change the subject at any time. There are often 3, 4 or 5 conversations going on at one time.

Thats really relatable. Everybody poops!

Yeah, but you are pooping with a RING on your finger.

To be honest, I can actually kind of see where DG is coming from. Because of this thread I found myself in the LIW forum for the first time in over a year, and was puzzled to see so many BIW''s and brides posting on that thread, and went decided to pop in a look around... and I didn''t really get why all of you girls were posting in the LIW Small Talk thread??

Just as an outside observer. I was under the assumption that this was the reason we have a BIW/Newlywed forum?

Don''t mind me, I''m can be a bit dense at times.

I think it''s a bit like the Mommies threads in a way. People get close with a group of people posting, and don''t quite want to move on until everybody''s "graduated," so they post in multiple places until everybody kind of moves over to a different place. Plus, I think the graduated LIW feel more welcome here than say, I would in Newlyweds, KWIM? So selfishly, I like having my friends around here to chat!

 

[CNOS128]

I can see how that would be off-putting (us old married ladies sticking around to small-talk). It is, after all, a misnomer given that not everyone in there is a LIW. I think of the purpose of the thread as being to talk, not necessarily about LIW-related issues, but about stuff -- minutiae. But I''ve been wrong before!

 

[Lauren8211]

So does the fact that I chat in LIW make me the creepy college kid who comes home to go to the High School parties?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I am friendly with people on all of the boards, some of them are LIW and some are married. The fact that they hang out over on LIW small talk in addition to posting on other boards is just a technicality. If there were a Newlywed''s small talk thread I''d be posting there as well. Not because I''m a newlywed, but because I imagine I''m friendly with people who would post on that thread.

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/10/2009 4:07:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
So does the fact that I chat in LIW make me the creepy college kid who comes home to go to the High School parties?

Yup. But you were already that kid, we just weren''t telling anybody.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 12/10/2009 4:08:39 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 12/10/2009 4:07:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5
So does the fact that I chat in LIW make me the creepy college kid who comes home to go to the High School parties?

Yup. But you were already that kid, we just weren''t telling anybody.

C''mon guys --- let me in on this stuff!!!

Should I make a Newlywed Small Talk?

LIWs welcome!

 

[meresal]

Elle and Princess, I understand what both of you are saying.

Like I said, I don''t find myself in LIW forum, ever... so it just caught my eye when I saw so many non LIW posting on that thread.