So excited!!!--Engaged!

[Diamond Confused]

Date: 7/22/2009 9:13:05 PM
Author: boredstiff

Date: 7/22/2009 8:25:12 PM
Author: LilyBelle
My finace'' says that we don''t need to have it appraised because if something were to happen to the ring/setting that he has paid for the store insurance (as we did not buy online). I asked him again, and he is sticking with the ''almost/pretty much 2 carat'' thing. The only way I can think of is just to run into a jeweler store or just drop it and be happy. It looks like I have either a really deep stone or my fiance'' has been honest, but just doesn''t understand carat size/weight. I really appreciate everyone''s responses. Thank you for your time and help.

As a guy, his response sounds a little shady to me. And usually I side with the guy''s perspective. Isn''t the point of insurance to insure against theft or loss? Does your store provide that insurance? I highly doubt it. Seems like he does not want you to know its appraisal value for some reason -- I will leave it at that. Just my gut reaction.

I agree. His response seems a bit evasive. Almost two carats is not a size. Why doens''t he tell you the actual size? And quite honestly even if the ring were a 1.7 it still wouln''t look as big as a 2. Those .3 size differences make a noticeable difference, at least that''s what I noticed in my ring search. I agree with everyone else that you should just be happy about the whole experience but if it were me, i''d be a bit angry that he''s trying to deceive me. Oh and someone on here said you shouldn''t walk around saying it''s 2 carats - I agree.

 

[risingsun]

If it were me, I would like to know the size. I would be concerned [1] that my fiance was mislead by the jeweler or [2] or that your fiance is misleading you. That''s no way to start a marriage or engagement, IMO. I''m sorry that this situation is causing you concern and I hope it can be resolved. I agree with the other posters that have urged you to get an independent appraisal and have the ring insured. If your ring was stolen or lost, the store agreement would not cover it. I would have already been to the jeweler who sold this ring to your fiance and gotten the ct weight information, but that''s just me

 

[Cathers]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:35:00 AM
Author: lowphat
Coming from a guy''s perspective, when I go out to spends thousand of dollars on something, I''ll make sure I''m getting what I''m paying for. There isn''t a single guy out there that''s going to plop down that much cash and not know exactly how many carats he''s getting.

excellent post!

 

[Buffy01]

Your ring is beautiful no matter what size it is. I first got engaged with a 1/4ct and to me that was huge. So love what you have.

 

[radiant lover]

Buffy...the size of her ring is not the issue! It''s a gorgeous solitaire and it''s a very good size. The problem is her fiance is telling her it''s one size when it really isn''t. My fiance researched for months before he bought my ring and told me the exact carat size. It obviously bothers her because she came to PS to ask for our opinions. It''s also a problem that her fiance thinks it''s a 2 ct and probably got jipped by the jeweler!

 

[vip0802]

Date: 7/23/2009 3:17:14 PM
Author: Çã†hër§ 

Date: 7/23/2009 10:35:00 AM

Author: lowphat

Coming from a guy's perspective, when I go out to spends thousand of dollars on something, I'll make sure I'm getting what I'm paying for. There isn't a single guy out there that's going to plop down that much cash and not know exactly how many carats he's getting.

excellent post!

agreed!

LilyBelle - i'm so happy for you and congrats on your engagement! you two make a beautiful couple and the ring looks gorgeous on your hand.

although, i'll be honest and say that i don't believe it's a 2ct either. i agree that it's not the size that's important, but i'm also worried that your FI might have paid for one. either that or possibly was mislead into thinking it was one, or make you think it's one. i would definitely get it appraised, regardless of if you want to know the size or not. especially with a big purchase like that, i'd want to have it covered by insurance just for ease of mind.

anyway, i'm so excited for you!

 

[icekid]

Date: 7/23/2009 2:31:16 PM
Author: risingsun
If it were me, I would like to know the size. I would be concerned [1] that my fiance was mislead by the jeweler or [2] or that your fiance is misleading you. That''s no way to start a marriage or engagement, IMO. I''m sorry that this situation is causing you concern and I hope it can be resolved. I agree with the other posters that have urged you to get an independent appraisal and have the ring insured. If your ring was stolen or lost, the store agreement would not cover it. I would have already been to the jeweler who sold this ring to your fiance and gotten the ct weight information, but that''s just me

I agree... something is a little off here!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 7/23/2009 8:32:29 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 7/23/2009 2:31:16 PM
Author: risingsun
If it were me, I would like to know the size. I would be concerned [1] that my fiance was mislead by the jeweler or [2] or that your fiance is misleading you. That''s no way to start a marriage or engagement, IMO. I''m sorry that this situation is causing you concern and I hope it can be resolved. I agree with the other posters that have urged you to get an independent appraisal and have the ring insured. If your ring was stolen or lost, the store agreement would not cover it. I would have already been to the jeweler who sold this ring to your fiance and gotten the ct weight information, but that''s just me

I agree... something is a little off here!

Ditto!

 

[Buffy01]

I completely agree with you radiantlover on the fact of the ring not being 2ct, especially insurance wise. I have my insured through my renters insurance and she needs to do that, and if she gets it insured they are going to want to see the paperwork on that ring. So to you lilybelle you need to get it appraised get the paperwork and get it insured through your house or renters insurance cause that will cover the loss and or theft of your ring. I agree with everyone else just drop it off at an appraiser and get r done.

 

[treefrog]

Ok... I'm a guy (despite the temporary pink fins in my avatar) and I'm with the other guy. He knows exactly what it is or isn't.

Personally, I think you should *at least* have a ballpark idea of what size it is.

Suppose somebody asks and you tell them it's 2ct. They have either a 2ct or something that looks to be the same size as whatever yours is. Something clearly isn't adding up. You are now in a very awkward position.

Say you take it to a jewler and have them measure or you take it for an appraisal. They tell you it's a 1.2ct. Now you know the size and can avoid the awkward scenario above... if your fiance wasn't standing next to you when Aunt Sue asks about it.

You could tell her it's a 1.2 and he throws a fit or you could tell her it's "about 2 carats" and get caught in the above trap. Stuck again.

This is really a tough situation you are in. Short of getting an honest answer from him (tread lightly... I think he feels cornered), I think your choices if questioned are limited to a naive "I'm not sure exactly" or I dunno... "Big enough for me to say Yes!"

Short of this issue, you seem happy and the ring looks very nice on you. It really does. Congratulations!

Treefrog

 

[bowral1]

Congrats on the engagement! Its an exciting time and you should be happy . . . but that doesn’t mean you cant be smart and educated about your new ring.

Lilybelle something to consider on store insurance is there are usually stipulations to them covering your ring. As mentioned before it covers defects and usually only if you take the ring in and get it cleaned and inspected every 6 months.

This kind of insurance is a bad idea! IMO . . . .

Coming from personally experience I had a friend who’s diamond fell out within 2 years of getting the ring. She didn’t keep up on her 6 month cleaning/inspection schedule and so the insurance didn’t cover the loss of the diamond. The diamond actually fell out when she was visiting me one weekend. We have no idea when or where it happened. Just about a 12 hour window. Seeing her go through that I wouldn’t wish that on anyone! We searched everywhere and now she has no diamond because they can’t afford another diamond right now. She just wears her wedding band and it makes my heart sad because her ring was beautiful. Her fiancé didn’t really do much research he just strolled up bought the ring and got the insurance thinking he was good. Think again. Sorry if I sound harsh but I wouldn’t recommend the store insurance especially if you have certain stipulations.

Or at least get an insurance policy (appraisal is needed) on it. They cover most situations; stolen, lost, diamond fell out etc.

melissa

 

[bowral1]

Oh and I have to post on the guy side too.

LowPhats comment “Coming from a guy''s perspective, when I go out to spends thousand of dollars on something, I''ll make sure I''m getting what I''m paying for. There isn''t a single guy out there that''s going to plop down that much cash and not know exactly how many carats he''s getting.”

That is not true for every guy. That is why the ring research was left up to me.

If it was my SO he would have walked up the first store he saw . . . paid cash for the pretty much any ring and go simply on what they told him. Not question not second guess and probably wouldn’t even remember what they told him afterwards.

Example: My SO bought and closed on a house within 2 weeks that includes everything! From first looking at the house, getting a mortgage, signing paperwork, etc. He did no research he just breezed through it trusting what he was told! No research on the area, no research on the type of mortgage, etc.

So I can believe that Lilybelles fiancé may be clueless as the actual 2 carat size. Lillybell you know him better than anyone. Would he get the info or would he just take someone’s word?

 

[NakedFinger]

I know I posted before but I also wanted to point out that your exact phrasing was "its almost to carats". Which leads me to believe that''s exactly the way your FI put it. To me "almost 2cts" is 1.95 or so, maybe 1.90, not 1.20 (which is what that looks to be). I woudnt even call 1.5 or 1.75 "almost 2 carats". There def a noticeable difference.

I think this isnt coming from a place where you FI is deliberately trying to mislead you. My guess, is it comes from just a lack of diamond knowledge on his part. Maybe to him, saying "Almost 2cts" sounds better than saying "1.20 cts" and he may very well feel that 1.20 is "almost 2 cts" and not realize how much of a difference in size there really is. Especially, if from the beginning he had the jeweler drilling in his head that it "looks like 2cts" etc etc like LadyLilac suggested which definitely seems plausible.

Again, either way its beautiful! And your engaged!!

I would just want to make sure that my FI doest think he actually got a 2ct, and didnt actually pay the cost for a 2ct. Because then its a shady jeweler and he needs his money back.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 7/23/2009 2:31:16 PM
Author: risingsun
If it were me, I would like to know the size. I would be concerned [1] that my fiance was mislead by the jeweler or [2] or that your fiance is misleading you. That's no way to start a marriage or engagement, IMO. I'm sorry that this situation is causing you concern and I hope it can be resolved. I agree with the other posters that have urged you to get an independent appraisal and have the ring insured. If your ring was stolen or lost, the store agreement would not cover it. I would have already been to the jeweler who sold this ring to your fiance and gotten the ct weight information, but that's just me

While this hopefully seems to just be a naive mistake on lack of diamond knowledge and phrasing used (see about post) in this situation, I agree with your highlighted comment as well.

My friend told her BF she wanted a 1ct princess she saw. He agreed. He proposed and told her it was that ring and it was 1ct. (knowing full well it wasnt). Being her friend, I told her there was no way it was over 3/4 carat, and may have even been less. She had a feeling it wasnt 1ct either, and we went to the mall together (i know! The horror! A zales ring! ahhh). We looked at 1ct princesses in the case, and she could clearly see her ring wasnt that big. Asked the sales clerk, and the clerk said "I can tell by looking at it it definitely isnt 1ct." Then she held a 3/4 next to it and said
this is a 3/4, its not even that big either". So she had them do a full appraisal, turns out it was 1/2 carat. She was livid, not because she didnt get a 1ct ring, but because he lied about it. It bothered her and bothered her, and needless to say a few months later she called off their engagement.

 

[lowphat]

Date: 7/24/2009 2:52:18 PM
Author: bowral1

Oh and I have to post on the guy side too.

LowPhats comment “Coming from a guy''s perspective, when I go out to spends thousand of dollars on something, I''ll make sure I''m getting what I''m paying for. There isn''t a single guy out there that''s going to plop down that much cash and not know exactly how many carats he''s getting.”

That is not true for every guy. That is why the ring research was left up to me.

If it was my SO he would have walked up the first store he saw . . . paid cash for the pretty much any ring and go simply on what they told him. Not question not second guess and probably wouldn’t even remember what they told him afterwards.

Example: My SO bought and closed on a house within 2 weeks that includes everything! From first looking at the house, getting a mortgage, signing paperwork, etc. He did no research he just breezed through it trusting what he was told! No research on the area, no research on the type of mortgage, etc.

So I can believe that Lilybelles fiancé may be clueless as the actual 2 carat size. Lillybell you know him better than anyone. Would he get the info or would he just take someone’s word?

LOL.. yeah I guess you''re right. There are people out there that don''t necessarily feel the need to know every detail about a purchase.

On a side note, you should ask your SO to just double check his papers on his mortgage and stuff. You don''t want him left with some exotic where his rate''s going to spike up in a year or two.

 

[bowral1]

Lowphat I am way ahead of you. I have read 3 books on mortgages (that’s because I am thinking of buying a house so we can rent his), reviewed all of his loan paperwork, blogged about it on myfico.com.

I think I have come to the conclusion he didn’t get ripped off. He paid about par for the loan and rate he got. Still working on becoming less ignorant on the mortgages.

melissa

 

[treefrog]

Date: 7/19/2009 2:26:41 PM
Author: LilyBelle
Oh no!!! It is cleaned. I did notice that it doesn''t sparkle a lot like I see in jewelry stores, but I just kind of thought that comes with the territory. Again, I thought diamonds were diamonds, and the most important thing to judge by is carat weight, but now I am reading about ''cut''. So does anyone agree that it looks a bit smaller than 2 carats. I mean I hope my fiancee would boost a 1.2 carat diamond to ''almost 2 carats'' just to impress me. I love the ring regardless...

You meant "wouldn''t boost" but I didn''t realize you even wrote this until now but that''s exactly the impression I got about you from skimming this thread. I got the feeling that you''d be content with something smaller than a 2ct. So why round up or avoid just checking the cert? The justification that we hope it is what he was told it was or what he paid for certainly seems legitimate since something seems amiss with the size. Not sure why he''s not on board with verifying that.

He seems evasive on both the insurance thing and the size thing. If it''s simply that he was told "looks like 2ct" or "faces up like 2ct", I can see him setting his mind on just thinking it''s close enough to 2ct for him to call it that. But to not share the cert and to also be evasive over the insurance thing seems odd. True - just because I researched the one I bought and know exactly what I bought and willingly shared the cert, doesn''t mean all guys do. Yes - absolutely many men shyly go in to Zales and discretely say "I want to look at engagement rings" and walk out 20 minutes later with a ring having no clue what''s in the box.

 

[Lynn B]

Lily,

You alone will have to decide how important this is to you (and to your relationship, as a couple, since it might in some way affect it)... and either pursue it, or let it go.

If you think you will not be able to let it go, and that you may not be able to be 110% happy with the diamond's sparkle or beauty, etc., and may always be wondering/second-guessing or feeling like it could be "better" or "different"... then my humble advice would be to speak up now! There may still be a return policy on it, and perhaps you could take some time to educate yourself on diamonds a bit, and shop together for a different one?

But which or whatever you decide, congratulations on your engagement, I think your new ring is lovely... and YOU are as cute a bug!!!

 

[brightlight]

Date: 7/22/2009 11:29:23 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite
uhh i dunno... this is a tough situation... it is pretty obvious that your diamond is not 2 ct (even if cut deeply) but it may be a little over 1 carat at most... Thing is your guy may be trying to impress you or do good by you by telling you it's around 2 carats... I think it might cause a huge argument to keep insisting on finding out otherwise... If I were you I would just let it go, and be happy with what he gave you... I would stop going around and telling people it's 2 carats since you know now that it isn't.... But you may really hurt his ego if you keep bringing it up. As for insurance, if you don't want to get it (which you probably should) then I really don't see the need to get an appraisal. But if you want to get it insured, an appraisal would tell you the carat size right away.

I can understand not wanting to start an argument, etc. However, I also feel like if you're going to spend your life with someone, you and your partner should be able to discuss things like this especially since there will be much bigger issues in the future to discuss. This is a tough situation. If you question the carat size, he may question your trust in him. If he is misleading you about the carat size purposely, he is being dishonest with you.

Everyone on PS is educated about diamonds and can appreciate even a .05 carat difference in diamond size. However, I can see how if a person who doesn't know anything about diamonds and doesn't pay attention to diamonds is shown a 1.5 carat and a 2 carat side by side can say they look "about the same size." We on PS, however, know this is a huge difference in size. It may be that innocent a mistake.

I'm not really sure what to make of his response regarding the appraisal/insurance.

 

[brightlight]

Date: 7/23/2009 2:01:03 PM
Author: Diamond Confused

Date: 7/22/2009 9:13:05 PM
Author: boredstiff

Date: 7/22/2009 8:25:12 PM
Author: LilyBelle
My finace'' says that we don''t need to have it appraised because if something were to happen to the ring/setting that he has paid for the store insurance (as we did not buy online). I asked him again, and he is sticking with the ''almost/pretty much 2 carat'' thing. The only way I can think of is just to run into a jeweler store or just drop it and be happy. It looks like I have either a really deep stone or my fiance'' has been honest, but just doesn''t understand carat size/weight. I really appreciate everyone''s responses. Thank you for your time and help.

As a guy, his response sounds a little shady to me. And usually I side with the guy''s perspective. Isn''t the point of insurance to insure against theft or loss? Does your store provide that insurance? I highly doubt it. Seems like he does not want you to know its appraisal value for some reason -- I will leave it at that. Just my gut reaction.

I agree. His response seems a bit evasive. Almost two carats is not a size. Why doens''t he tell you the actual size? And quite honestly even if the ring were a 1.7 it still wouln''t look as big as a 2. Those .3 size differences make a noticeable difference, at least that''s what I noticed in my ring search. I agree with everyone else that you should just be happy about the whole experience but if it were me, i''d be a bit angry that he''s trying to deceive me. Oh and someone on here said you shouldn''t walk around saying it''s 2 carats - I agree.

In his defense, my husband couldn''t tell you the exact size of my diamond either. We did A LOT of research together on diamonds, and he knew the size at one point. The specs just went in one ear and right out the other as soon as we paid for the diamond.

 

[Prana]

As many have already said, I think that the OP is and will always be perfectly happy with her beautiful ring. She just wants peace of mind. There are 3 possible scenarios here:

1. Her FI was greatly mislead and ripped off and is totally oblivious that this is not 2 carats

2. He just doesn''t know that anything slightly over 1 carat is not considered "about" or "close to" two carats by most

3. He knows exactly how big it is and thought he could pull a fast one on you.

Unless he made a really poor decision and blindly purchased without receiving any type of paper work or information about the stone, there should be some sort of certification or paperwork that you could ask to see.

I think that you deserve to know, whether he likes it or not. I know everything about my stone, I did pick my stone out, but my FI was just as in to the paperwork as I was, and just as in to getting a proper appraisal and INSURANCE!!!

 

[radiant lover]

lilybelle, any update on your ring situation? Have you been able to find the true carat size?

 

[Prana]

I''m wondering as well.....

 

[iota]

lillybelle,

If you don''t want to bring it to an appraiser, why don''t you just measure the diamond from one side to the other for us? (no exact measurement needed).

Take a ruler and put it on the face of the diamond. If you could somehow eye ball how deep the diamond is, that would be great too (but not necessary).

 

[iota]

In my opinion only, I think you know your fiance is misleading you slightly. He was probably caught up in the moment, probably feels very sheepish about it, and definitely feels VERY CORNERED.... like any cornered animal, he will jump out and take a bite at you if he feels like you''re forcing him to admit he was somewhat less than truthful. So it seems like your option are to either drop it or get into a big argument over something that is beautiful and that you love....

But, for me personally, I couldn''t have a shiny reminder on my finger of one of the few times my boyfriend probably made a very stupid, but what seemed at the time, to be an inadvertent white lie. You two are definitely "cute as a bug" and assuming you still want him in your life, this is what I would do:

Take the corner animal aside, no need to ask him for the certificates, what the size is and where he got it... Look him straight in the eye with a regretful look and tone and say, "Honey... I love this ring and I love you and I wouldn''t trade either for anything... but I know this is not two carats. I know this is not even really all that close to two carats. I know you were probably caught up in the moment and just made a mistake. I know you probably felt cornered when I asked you about it again. I obviously always want you to be truthful to me. It made me sad to find out it wasn''t two carats and that I told people it was. But I''d rather talk this out than just let it be... because I''ll always know."

 

[PrincessPeach]

I think a lot of people on here are jumping to conclusions about the fiance who proposed. He was probably misled. For instance, my DH proposed to me with a mall store bought ring. He had NOOOOOO idea about diamonds, carat weight, anything! He just bought a ring and that was that. That''s what a lot of people outside of Pricescope do, ya know.

I personally would take the ring to a jeweler and get it appraised and/or have an estimate of the carat weight - IF this is something that truly concerns you. If not, wear the ring in good health. After all, isn''t an engagement not only about the ring? But about two people coming together??? That should be the most important part!

 

[radiant lover]

Princess...it''s true when you say that most guys just walk into a jewelry store and buy whatever and don''t know the stats. But, her ring looks to be around a 1 ct, nice clear diamond. I hope anyone who''s going to spend money on at least a carat would know what he''s buying!!!!

 

[Cookiesmom]

I know that this is a forum about diamonds - not relationship advice. But I am going to give some.

TALK to your partner. Open communication is the key to marital success. Marriages are successful when you can work through things together. From someone who has been married longer than you have probably been alive (I absolutely hate to admit that) this AINT going to be the last thing you have a hard discussion about.

I am not sure there is an easy way to open up the topic other than "I want to talk to you about something" and be honest. AND remember marriages are NOT about diamonds - they are about a shared life.

Sorry so serious but if I were your mother I would say the same thing

 

[PrincessPeach]

Date: 7/26/2009 8:48:42 PM
Author: radiant lover
Princess...it''s true when you say that most guys just walk into a jewelry store and buy whatever and don''t know the stats. But, her ring looks to be around a 1 ct, nice clear diamond. I hope anyone who''s going to spend money on at least a carat would know what he''s buying!!!!

I totally hear you on this! I would hope so, too!!! My hubby is the prime example of being oblivious to anything to do with diamonds, though hahaha

 

[makandaddie]

One more thought...maybe, MAYBE, your guy bought the diamond second hand. Maybe from a friend of a friend, was verbally told it was "almost 2 carats", but has not paperwork to back it up. If that is the case, than MAYBE he''s embarrased to tell you that he bought it this way and doesn''t really know anything about the ring. I know, I''m just grasping...but it does sound like he''s trying to hide something, and that in itself would bother me and make me want to get to the bottom of it. But, you''re not me, so maybe it doesn''t bother you!

Good luck lady! I hope you find some peace on this ring soon!