So FF put me in my place yesterday

[Anastasia]

Date: 6/6/2008 10:32:09 PM
Author: moderatelypoorstudent

Date: 6/6/2008 2:43:36 PM
Author: fieryred33143
My intention with this post really was to vent and maybe I should have started it with that. I don''t have an outlet at home. I''m sort of the rock in my family and my best friend is going through cancer so the last thing I''m ever going to do is run to her with silly engagement problems. My FF is as sweet and understanding as he can be but its frustrating for him as well. As I mentioned, its been six years and this whole engagement process is very new to us. It''s not something we have talked about for years. We just started talking about it. Normally when we want something, we get it. I wanted/needed a new car so I went the same weekend and got one. He drove by a condo conversion, fell in love and closed in a month. Waiting patiently is not in our vocabulary LOL. We just get up and go. So this is definitely new territory for us...I keep seeing it as ok we want to get married so let''s go get a ring, book the venue and start planning. I guess I didn''t take into consideration that while we haven''t been traditional at all (living together b4 marriage), he has his heart set on doing the engagement in a traditional fashion...and that''s taking some getting used to.


Anyway, most of the time I just resolve the issue internally but ever since finding this site I feel like I can at least write when I''m feeling vulnerable and 9 out of 10 times I feel better instantly.

Hey fiery! I think it''s tough to be in your position if you have no place to talk about it. I think that''s what the forum is for. But also sometimes, I think I''m mad at SO... but it''s really not about him and that might be the case here with you.

I mean you probably wouldn''t REALLY speed up the proposal: think about the logistics for a minute: the ring might not be what you wanted, it might be haphazardly done and he might have to improvise instead of spending time to think about what he wants to say or where he wants to say it. These things take time! A ring alone can take 6 weeks!! And that''s after you know what you want and can wire the cash!

And like you said, the engagement bug didn''t hit you hard for a while. I think (at least if I were in your shoes) I''d be mad at all the people who are butting their nose into my business!!!!--- And that''s what I''d tell my SO is annoying me.

Makes life much easier when you already know SO is on your side, as I''m sure he could understand the annoyance at being pressured about something over which you have little to no control. Breathe girl!! You''re almost there! Support each other through these annoying people and you''ll be even better off when you do get engaged.

My thoughts exactly! You need to come up with an appropriate response to these people who are asking questions that are none of their business. You are getting engaged in less than a month, and have already chosen a date and a venue. Relax and enjoy this time! Tell the people who ask you about it that you and FF will be getting engaged when you are ready, and that they will be among the first to know when it does happen. I would definitely NOT tell them that you have a date planned for the wedding as was suggested earlier. They will know the details in a very short time, and in the meantime, it is none of their business.

Honestly, I don''t blame your FF for being annoyed. He has a plan in place. Why would you spoil these last few weeks of anticipation when you know that it is coming in a VERY short time? Enjoy this time and revel in the fact that you know that it is coming. Think of it as your little secret rather than allowing other people to stress you out. Ease up on the poor guy. I could understand getting angry about being questioned by people about an impending engagement if your boyfriend was not on the same page as you, but you''ve got a date and a venue already for goodness sake!

I know that you are just looking to vent, and I''m not trying to be harsh. I actually commend you for admitting to this whole conversation, and I hope that just writing about it has been helpful. My wish for you is that you can put things into perspective, and make this a pleasant and romantic time for both you and FF. This really is one of the most special times of your life. I look forward to seeing your proposal story posted here very soon!