Sounds Like Operation Upgrade is About to Commence...

[peacechick]

Sorry, thought I clarified this earlier but we just moved to a new place and it has tan/beige walls. Prior place had a nicer (IMO) light grey color. Regardless, I think the majority of those participating in this thread, myself included, have concluded the tint is not due to environmental factors. Additionally when we first had the "it's yellow" conversation, I asked how long she had noticed the tint because we now had different colored walls. She said basically from day one and she sees it regardless where she's at or the color of the walls.

FYI, tonight we talked a little about color. I avoided in-depth talks about what to do with her stone. I showed her the WF diamond color chart and asked where she started seeing yellow. Basically F down is what she identified. She said she could see a difference between D & E but it was very faint.

She said she even saw a very slight tint/yellow in the D. I advised her that was the best and it was colorless. I am not sure if she was picking up background colors from the chart or what. Maybe it was the computer screen. I then showed her the photos of @cflutist CBI F's on the side profile she was kind enough to post in another thread (and they look icy white, at least to me). She said she could see a little tint in those too which surprised me a bit as I thought they looked more white than some of F's in the WF color chart.

She was growing tired of my questions tonight and said she felt like she was a circus show with all the questions, etc. I told her I had one last question and asked her to identify the color she thought HER diamond was -- keep in mind, I have NOT divulged the color grade to her yet. I think she gave me an answer I wanted to hear, but she had guessed an F on the WF color chart. I told her that was incorrect and asked if she wanted a second guess. At this point I knew I was pushing my luck. She fired back it was probably D-F. I think that was a fluff answer to avoid hurting my feelings and so I'd leave her alone about the color tonight.

But why the need for all the guessing from her? Why not just tell her you had gotten a H and would she like to upgrade to a F? I feel like she’s getting annoyed at all the questioning because she doesn’t get what you’re trying to do. I think she doesn’t necessarily need a stark white stone. Just have a good discussion about how many grades to go up, maybe look at some diamonds in person before buying a new one.

 

[HDer]

It doesn't have to be a final decision either.

It can just be "honey, if it bothers you then we can get a whiter stone today. That's what the upgrade policy is for. Or if you prefer we can wait and see how you like it, and who knows, one day we might get something bigger in the future when we're more settled."

Felt my last post might have been read a little too critically. Honestly, she's really lucky to have the amount of care and thought you're putting into this @sledge. But I also get a feeling that this isn't going to be the last diamond you buy either.

 

[LittleRed]

Just remember that upgrading the center stone will cause the outter stones to look different. Weren’t they matched to what you have now?

It’s a beautiful ring, bought with love. I’d leave it at that (but that’s just my style of how I’d approach this issue).

 

[scarsmum]

I don’t know - im a little perturbed by her attitude. Color in a D? Maybe this is all s reflection of something else in her mind or life. Just a thought.

 

[kindred]

Seeing color in a D leads me back to wondering if she is seeing color from the environment. Or maybe she's referring to fire? Has she seen any of Good Old Gold's youtube videos on color?

 

[Luce]

This one should fit into your current setting...

https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/...s/0.910-d-if-round-diamond-bkags-104100834006

This is perfect!!!

 

[scarsmum]

But it costs 14k

 

[Luce]

But it costs 14k

I know but it is perfect!!!!!!

 

[JPie]

@sledge I think it’s really sweet that you want your fiancé to be absolutely thrilled with her ring and from what she’s told you, she is. She sounds like she’s getting annoyed and wants you to let it go, so listen to her and let her enjoy being engaged.

 

[GliderPoss]

Hmmm having read this entire thread I have a few thoughts:
1. She is verrrry colour sensitive so obviously IF you upgrade, might as well get a D to avoid any further issues.
2. She is sick of talking about it, maybe embarrassed by the fuss so drop the subject for a while?
3. The next issue will be matching melee so I’d have that conversation with DK before making any changes.
4. You are very sweet & thoughtful to try and make her completely happy.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Hmmm having read this entire thread I have a few thoughts:
1. She is verrrry colour sensitive so obviously IF you upgrade, might as well get a D to avoid any further issues.

sledge might need to purchase a C colored stone.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Where is Russel Crowe when you need him?

rolleyes:

 

[icy_jade]

@icy_jade was following your journey and wondering if you could give an update on your ring (with pictures pls!!). How do you find the G color after spending more time with it?

I’ll start a new thread so I don’t threadjack @sledge
Need to take some pics though...

 

[sledge]

Thank you all for your comments and input. Much appreciated.

Just wanted to post a quick update to close out this thread. I will spare gory details, but here are highlights:

• We talked some more this weekend.
• Apparently I took her comment wrong. It bothers me more than her, and I'm obviously more invested and obsessing over it than her. I've pulled out of it emotionally and letting it be.
• She is very color sensitive. Had I known this info at original purchase, I would have went with a D/E color. I made her aware of this.
• I was never "hiding" the color from her. In the testing I did before I didn't want her to know as I wanted a "blind test" of sorts. She is now aware of the color grade. Also, she knows how her stone has fluor and how it can effect grading in a negative manner and that COULD also be a contributing factor.
• She only catches the yellow occasionally. From face up view, it's very white to her (and me too).
• I have owned the mistake of not thinking through the pavilion being so exposed in this particular setting. This and not better gauging her color sensitivity were my fatal flaws, IMO.
• She was offered a chance to upgrade the color now, no strings attached. She declined.
• Decision was made when/if she wants to upgrade later, we will talk about it again at that time.
• Thanks for the D/IF option. Beautiful stone but I'm not dumping $14k on <1 carats. Besides she saw one of these in a jewelry store and the manager was all ga-ga over it, and she didn't see the big deal. Having seen this behavior, I honestly thought the H was safe.
• I'm not sure how she sees color in a D. I explained it's the best. The best explanation I have is environmental factors, lighting and facets playing together.

HI:

Where is Russel Crowe when you need him?

rolleyes:

Sorry if this was too much drama for you. Was not meant to be.

I’ll start a new thread so I don’t threadjack @sledge
Need to take some pics though...

Thread jack away.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Sledge, so glad that you guys were able to talk this all out and come to a decision. I am glad to hear that she doesn't think the tint bothers her that much. If she is happy with it, you will be happy with it too! You put too much time, thought and effort into this ring to question yourself too much. You wanted her to have a special, beautiful ring and you delivered. Sounds like she appreciates it so win-win!!

 

[sledge]

Sledge, so glad that you guys were able to talk this all out and come to a decision. I am glad to hear that she doesn't think the tint bothers her that much. If she is happy with it, you will be happy with it too! You put too much time, thought and effort into this ring to question yourself too much. You wanted her to have a special, beautiful ring and you delivered. Sounds like she appreciates it so win-win!!

Thank you for the kind words.

That was probably the best thing that came out of the conversation -- her strong love & appreciation for the ring. It's totally "her" ring and she understands I went to great lengths to make it "perfect" for her. I think it's the sentimental part keeping her from trading out the stone, truthfully. Either way, she can't imagine life without it so that part is good I suppose.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Thank you for the kind words.

That was probably the best thing that came out of the conversation -- her strong love & appreciation for the ring. It's totally "her" ring and she understands I went to great lengths to make it "perfect" for her. I think it's the sentimental part keeping her from trading out the stone, truthfully. Either way, she can't imagine life without it so that part is good I suppose.

It's that kind of discourse that makes for a good marriage - ability to talk things through while still appreciating each other's efforts. You are on the right path my friend so go enjoy your engagement!

 

[Acinom]

Glad you had such a good talk with her to clarify matters! And I am so happy she is thrilled with the ring and appreciates your effort.
Now back to the drawing board to design her wedding ring. Is she involved in the process? And have you made any decisions?

 

[msop04]

Seeing tint in a D stone?? Ummm, nope. Not happening. There is no color in a D. At this point, it's either environmental factors or she has psychologically tricked herself into "seeing yellow" in any stone -- most likely the latter. That said, I'm glad this was put to rest and you two can just enjoy your engagement.

ETA: I'm glad you didn't go and buy her a D color, only to have her say it was tinted. What a waste that would've been... sheesh.

 

[dtnyc]

Regarding her seeing tint in a D, she knows there is no A,B and C color right?

 

[msop04]

Regarding her seeing tint in a D, she knows there is no A,B and C color right?

I was thinking this very thing - HA!!

 

[peacechick]

Just to clarify, I never thought that you were hiding the grade in any way, just that your way of testing her might have annoyed her and a good sit down talk, which you have done, would sort things out. I’m glad things are resolved!

 

[sledge]

Glad you had such a good talk with her to clarify matters! And I am so happy she is thrilled with the ring and appreciates your effort.
Now back to the drawing board to design her wedding ring. Is she involved in the process? And have you made any decisions?

Thank you very much!

Yes, I need to get focused back on the wedding ring. We've had a lot of events happening in our lives the last few weeks. Moving, job changes, appointments with wedding vendors, etc. Not to mention both of our jobs have been stressful the last few weeks.

Not making excuses, just saying it's made it difficult to coordinate that detail. But yes, she is definitely involved and no, we haven't really moved forward outside of getting that CAD from Amy @ DK. I hope to get that ball rolling soon though.

On a positive note, we did a cake tasting yesterday afternoon. So far, the best experience yet! I was like Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. Not really, but it was fun. By the way, she ate ALL the lemon sample while I wasn't looking.

Fast forward to around 0:41:

Regarding her seeing tint in a D, she knows there is no A,B and C color right?

She is aware. We had a lengthy conversation about it in fact. The conclusion we came to is that whatever "color" she sees in a D diamond is indeed the best it will get.

I got rather frustrated the other day talking about this. I pointed to an iPhone a/c charger plug that is "white" and I asked if she saw yellow or pure white. She clarified it was white, but not pure white because it had a shadow that was creating a tint and that she had seen more white objects.

She is a very smart girl. Masters degree, technical, analytical, etc. But sometimes she lets those tiny details cloud the big picture. Before I fed her data about diamonds she probably wouldn't have known. I might have created a monster.

I feel like if we buy another stone or upgrade in the future I will probably buy an F+ for her. She will be involved in the process. And we will test in an array of lighting environments. I won't cross into fluor territory because of the potential soft grading that can result from the UV lights they use to test and the stone getting over excited and producing a more white appearance than when not excited by UV lighting. Also, I plan to keep buying super ideal but will be comparing AGS color against a GIA equivalent stone as the majority consensus is GIA is more stringent on color grading. Alas, I will be very cognizant of how exposed the pavilion when placed in the setting.

 

[BlingDreams]

Sledge, it’s easy to see why you went gung-ho at replacing the center stone when you thought she was unhappy. I for one think it’s great that you care so much about her having a ring that represents as best as possible the amount of love and care you have for her, and therefore you don’t want the slightest (perceived) blemish! But you did what was right and talked it through, and I’m guessing you’ve both gained a greater appreciation for the others intentions and perspective.

In time she may change her mind, or she may ask you to design a whole new masterpiece for her right hand! For now, you can look forward to the wedding and get back to designing her band

 

[farrahlyn]

Good work @sledge Glad you got it cleared up. Since you're talking about possible upgrades down the road, maybe look into a more 60/60 style of stone? Less fire (colored flashes) and more white flashes. It may minimize the color she sees in the stone.

 

[BlingDreams]

Also, I plan to keep buying super ideal but will be comparing AGS color against a GIA equivalent stone as the majority consensus is GIA is more stringent on color grading. Alas, I will be very cognizant of how exposed the pavilion when placed in the setting.

FWIW, I just had two diamonds that were certified GIA re-certified by AGS and the colors came back the same.

And I get the pavilion comment. I actually had chosen a different diamond initially but the (H) tint in the pavilion was too much for my DH’s color tolerance. Had I known at the time that I’d be bezeling the diamond I might have been able to talk him in to keeping it, as the cut pattern was crazy gorgeous!!!

 

[sledge]

FWIW, I just had two diamonds that were certified GIA re-certified by AGS and the colors came back the same.

And I get the pavilion comment. I actually had chosen a different diamond initially but the (H) tint in the pavilion was too much for my DH’s color tolerance. Had I known at the time that I’d be bezeling the diamond I might have been able to talk him in to keeping it, as the cut pattern was crazy gorgeous!!!

Thank you for sharing. Just out of curiosity, what color were the two diamonds you had re-certified? I'm still educating myself on the matter. It seems people have various opinions, many of which are biased. That is why your comments are interesting -- you had GIA and got the same grade with AGS.

 

[Gussie]

I've read several threads that have indicated gia and ags came back the same. @Miki Moto recently talked about it.

I think ags may have aligned their color grading recently.

 

[BlingDreams]

Thank you for sharing. Just out of curiosity, what color were the two diamonds you had re-certified? I'm still educating myself on the matter. It seems people have various opinions, many of which are biased. That is why your comments are interesting -- you had GIA and got the same grade with AGS.

They are D and E color.

My jeweler (BG) said in their experience that AGS is slightly tougher on clarity than GIA is, but said nothing about color. I can’t really comment their alignment of clarity, as these diamonds were recut and that can make inclusions look better or worse (and in my case my SI2 became SI1 and my SI1 became SI2)

 

[sledge]

Good work @sledge Glad you got it cleared up. Since you're talking about possible upgrades down the road, maybe look into a more 60/60 style of stone? Less fire (colored flashes) and more white flashes. It may minimize the color she sees in the stone.

I'll be honest, I don't know if I want her to go 60/60. We've both had moments in restaurants or other locations where her center stone (and melee) were dancing all over the place and it's so unexpected and awesome at the same time. I'm afraid we'd both miss that.