Study says that moms have 30-40 hours of leisure time per week

[innerkitten]

I''m a stay at home mom too. I have two hours each evening of free time when she goes to sleep and 7 hours a week that she is in co-op pre school is about it for me. I work at the school Wednesdays. I am very tired at the end of most days.

 

[Kaleigh]

I don''t know what they were smoking while doing this "study". I have been on both sides of the fence, was a working mom, and then later a SAHM.

If I was home, I was running about the house getting things done and taking care of their special needs. One was in leg braces for JRA, and my son was on a nebulizer 4 or 6 times a day...

That and getting the house clean, doing laundry, cooking...
Going to doc''s appointments..



I wouldn''t have known leisure time if it hit me upside the head!!!!!!!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 3/30/2010 5:31:14 PM
Author: FL Steph

Date: 3/30/2010 5:07:18 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
One thing this thread is highlighting is just how much laundry and housework people are doing.

Ha! I know, I was just thinking the one thing my post pointed out to me was that it would be nice to hire a cleaning lady and then maybe I would get a few more hours of free time! But even then, with a small baby, you are still sort of ''on call'' at all times.

EB, I totally agree with you that it becomes more fun when they get older and are able to do more outside of the house. I loved when Andrew was 2-4 before he started preschool....we used to do stuff everyday together.

Fiery, I totally believe in quality time vs. quantity. You are a great mother and S knows it

Steph, get a cleaning lady. Or a cleaning man - I used to have one of them and he was awesome. He''s the only cleaner I ever had who would do ironing too. Get one, you deserve it!

Have to say, I do prioritise my me-time over laundry, cooking, shopping etc. I have groceries delivered when I''m short on time, laundry is done once a week (get a machine that takes a double load, if you possibly can). Cooking is part of my me-time sometimes, when I''m in the mood I enjoy it, but if I''m not, there are plenty nice healthy things in the fridge. I don''t mind working (well, school for now) and I did 14 months as a SAHM, but that''s it - I''m not going to be a general household drudge as well and I don''t want to bring Amelia up to think that''s appropriate for women, either.

 

[Sha]

Huh?? I definitely don't feel like I have 30+ hours of leisure time per week! I think it definitely depends on the age and temperament of the child. My daughter is 4 months old and my days are filled with changing, feeding, entertaining, soothing etc. As soon as she goes down for a nap (1 hour usually)- I have to race around doing all the things I don't get to do when she's up - wash the dishes, shower, comb my hair, sterilize bottles, do laundry, pump milk, return calls (Napping hardly ever happens!), etc. - with the knowledge that any of these things can be interrupted if she decides to wake up. When she's up - it's HER time again, not mine. The only 'me time' I may have is after she goes to bed - and that's usually just an hour or so, to have dinner, and chill with DH. (that's not exclusive ME time either...)

I suppose if I were an SAHM with a child in school I would have a lot more time to myself, though.

I'm going to back to work next week (counselling) - my work is pretty draining at times, although not extremely stressful, especially as I set my own appointments. But I think I'll have more 'me time' during the day (e.g checking my emails, making phone calls without interruption ETC) at work than I have at home right now.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 3/31/2010 9:22:18 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

I know! Such a bunch of bull crap--what is the point of making moms feel even guiltier by having a study which says moms have more leisure time than they realize/admit. Seriously, if you polled people on the street, I'd find it hard to believe that anyone would define leisure as eating, sleeping, breathing. And even when moms are doing that, they are usually multitasking it with something else.

 

[Lulie]

HA! I can see leisure eating, long baths, taking the kids out etc....food prep and cleaning afterwards isn't. Just wondering if the study included moms SAM/Working with teething children? the children in the study never got sick? older kids drove themselves to school and sports? I Don't know about you gals but I spend 2 hours a day driving my kids around, now that I'm SHAM [retired] I can honestly say that my job as a Mom is not any easier, mine aren't teething but both have braces, yeah leisure cranking up the herbsts, ER sports related, safe/checking kids' computer, etc LOL

 

[anchor31]

Date: 3/31/2010 9:37:33 AM
Author: janinegirly

Date: 3/31/2010 9:22:18 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

I know! Such a bunch of bull crap--what is the point of making moms feel even guiltier by having a study which says moms have more leisure time than they realize/admit. Seriously, if you polled people on the street, I''d find it hard to believe that anyone would define leisure as eating, sleeping, breathing. And even when moms are doing that, they are usually multitasking it with something else.

Agreed, these things are not leisure, they are SURVIVAL. We cannot go through a day without eating or showering! I''ll bet the people who defined "leisure" were childless...

Re: Multitasking - I often have to resort to eating while breastfeeding or pumping... Leisure, eh? Right. One thing I''ve wondered is that maybe some people don''t see how demanding breastfeeding can be? Sure, I''m sitting on my comfy couch and all that and don''t have to do much, but at least for me it''s very draining, and after 3 months of it my sensory defensiveness is kicking my a$$.

Re: Guilt - I''m not going to let some guy, academic or not, make me feel guilty for taking an hour or so a day to check my e-mail, FB and PS. I''d LOVE to see him in our shoes.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/31/2010 9:54:27 AM
Author: anchor31

Date: 3/31/2010 9:37:33 AM

Author: janinegirly

Date: 3/31/2010 9:22:18 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

I know! Such a bunch of bull crap--what is the point of making moms feel even guiltier by having a study which says moms have more leisure time than they realize/admit. Seriously, if you polled people on the street, I''d find it hard to believe that anyone would define leisure as eating, sleeping, breathing. And even when moms are doing that, they are usually multitasking it with something else.

Agreed, these things are not leisure, they are SURVIVAL. We cannot go through a day without eating or showering! I''ll bet the people who defined ''leisure'' were childless...

Re: Multitasking - I often have to resort to eating while breastfeeding or pumping... Leisure, eh? Right. One thing I''ve wondered is that maybe some people don''t see how demanding breastfeeding can be? Sure, I''m sitting on my comfy couch and all that and don''t have to do much, but at least for me it''s very draining, and after 3 months of it my sensory defensiveness is kicking my a$$.


Re: Guilt - I''m not going to let some guy, academic or not, make me feel guilty for taking an hour or so a day to check my e-mail, FB and PS. I''d LOVE to see him in our shoes.

Agreed Anchor. And it''s not like BF''ing is a quick thing either. You''re literally held hostage for 30 or more minutes!

 

[Sha]

Date: 3/31/2010 9:22:18 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

I agree that this is such crap. If this study was done on working men, I bet the researchers wouldn't consider showering and getting dressed for work a leisure activity. The men themselves wouldn't think so either. Why should it be different for mothers? We have to eat and bathe too.... Or should we just walk around unbathed and naked, starving ourselves for 24 hours?

 

[Mandarine]

I think it absolutely depends on the age and number of children. Are they in school? newborns?

I definitely had some free time before I started working, not 30-40 hours though, but definitely time to do other things other than eating and showering myself! (I worked out, cooked -which I actually enjoy-, went for a lot of walks with the little ones, went to "playdates" and to the mall, etc)...The problem with the free time is that it's not like you get 3 free hours...you get 30 mins here or 15 minutes there. I don't have babies that nap 1-2 hours...so that cuts my time....but lots of babies do take LONG naps multiple times a day!.

So I don't agree, nor disagree!....but I count some of the things I do with the little ones (like walks or playdates) as leisure! (at least at the age they are now!). I'm sure that will change...and will change again and again. So it definitely depends on the age of the kids!

Now that I work part-time, I feel like I actually have more time for me (but that's because I'm the master at multi-tasking at work!).


ETA: I did have a cleaning lady though! So I wasn't scrubbing toilets while they napped!. So again, I think ti depends on the situation, the baby(ies), the age, etc...

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think it also depends on the mom. I know some mom''s who are masters at multitasking and can swing doing the housework while they care for the child and themselves. I know others who are totally crippled just with caring for the LO. Obviously while we all strive to be the former, I think finding a happy balance between the two is more realistic.

 

[Mara]

BF''ing can take a lot longer than 30 min esp if your baby doesn''t gain weight very quickly or is a lazy eater...you sit there tickling their feet to get them to take it in for like an hour! my neighbor who has twins said she would not move from the couch for hours at a time with the two of them trying to eat.

and ditto Sha re during 1 hour nap it goes faster than you know. I am lucky to eat, send a few emails, clean up a bit, and go to the bathroom before he''s squeaking.

and we have a cleaning crew that comes 2x a month..so i''m not doing anything other than tidying up so the house looks neat and doing things like laundry, making the bed, etc. unless you want to live in a sty or have a daily cleaner then you still gotta do something.

 

[gailrmv]

I've been thinking about this. As a SAHM to a 1 year old, a lot of my day is spent in what I would call "limited leisure" or "forced leisure." For example, taking my son to the park or on a walk or playing with toys in our living room. You know, taking care of him. Is this fun for me? Yes, definitely, a lot of the time. So in a way it is leisure. But if I were not taking care of my son, this is not how I would choose to spend my own leisure time. And if I weren't taking care of my son, I'd be paying someone else to do these exact same things with him. So how is it "leisure" when I'm doing it but paid "work" if I pay a nanny? That makes no sense.

I do have some leisure time between when he goes to bed and when I do, and on the weekend if DH can take over and give me some time off. On rough average, it adds up to about 3 hours/day so 21 hours/week, maybe a little more. However, I am often multitasking and doing housework after he goes to bed, or spending my alone time running errands for our family, not sitting around with my feet up. So I guess it all depends on your definition of leisure.

I do think I have more leisure time than I would if I were a working mom, because I can get some housework etc done during the days. But on the other hand, being home more means we generate more mess thus more housework needs to get done.

 

[ChinaCat]

I am a working mom and I have a 7 month old. If I had an hour of leisure time today, I would have spent it laughing at this study.

Sounds like the person who defined "leisure time" is the same one who defines STTN as 5 or 6 hours. Not in my reality!

I have a 15 minute drive to work where I drink my coffee and either listen to NPR or talk to my mom on the phone. If driving to work is considered leisure time, then ok fine.

I''d say I MAYBE get 20 hours of leisure time a week. BUT I''d say I actually spend about 10 hours a week doing things I would consider actual "me" time.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/31/2010 9:59:00 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/31/2010 9:54:27 AM
Author: anchor31

Date: 3/31/2010 9:37:33 AM

Author: janinegirly

Date: 3/31/2010 9:22:18 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

I know! Such a bunch of bull crap--what is the point of making moms feel even guiltier by having a study which says moms have more leisure time than they realize/admit. Seriously, if you polled people on the street, I''d find it hard to believe that anyone would define leisure as eating, sleeping, breathing. And even when moms are doing that, they are usually multitasking it with something else.

Agreed, these things are not leisure, they are SURVIVAL. We cannot go through a day without eating or showering! I''ll bet the people who defined ''leisure'' were childless...

Re: Multitasking - I often have to resort to eating while breastfeeding or pumping... Leisure, eh? Right. One thing I''ve wondered is that maybe some people don''t see how demanding breastfeeding can be? Sure, I''m sitting on my comfy couch and all that and don''t have to do much, but at least for me it''s very draining, and after 3 months of it my sensory defensiveness is kicking my a$$.


Re: Guilt - I''m not going to let some guy, academic or not, make me feel guilty for taking an hour or so a day to check my e-mail, FB and PS. I''d LOVE to see him in our shoes.

Agreed Anchor. And it''s not like BF''ing is a quick thing either. You''re literally held hostage for 30 or more minutes!

Ha, you need a shark like mine - 10 minutes and done!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/31/2010 7:17:09 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 3/30/2010 5:31:14 PM
Author: FL Steph

Date: 3/30/2010 5:07:18 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
One thing this thread is highlighting is just how much laundry and housework people are doing.

Ha! I know, I was just thinking the one thing my post pointed out to me was that it would be nice to hire a cleaning lady and then maybe I would get a few more hours of free time! But even then, with a small baby, you are still sort of ''on call'' at all times.

EB, I totally agree with you that it becomes more fun when they get older and are able to do more outside of the house. I loved when Andrew was 2-4 before he started preschool....we used to do stuff everyday together.

Fiery, I totally believe in quality time vs. quantity. You are a great mother and S knows it

Steph, get a cleaning lady. Or a cleaning man - I used to have one of them and he was awesome. He''s the only cleaner I ever had who would do ironing too. Get one, you deserve it!

Have to say, I do prioritise my me-time over laundry, cooking, shopping etc. I have groceries delivered when I''m short on time, laundry is done once a week (get a machine that takes a double load, if you possibly can). Cooking is part of my me-time sometimes, when I''m in the mood I enjoy it, but if I''m not, there are plenty nice healthy things in the fridge. I don''t mind working (well, school for now) and I did 14 months as a SAHM, but that''s it - I''m not going to be a general household drudge as well and I don''t want to bring Amelia up to think that''s appropriate for women, either.

Ditto!

Mrs Mitchell - I think you and I think in similar ways (maybe it''s a Scottish thing? (my parents are both scots)). I definitely put ''me'' time before housework - still doesn''t help much with my monster.

Downside to the cleaning lady is that I have to tidy up before she comes and I''m useless at tidying up (I make neater piles of stuff instead). Oh, and mine irons! Hooray for Polish cleaning ladies - even if they do disappear off to Poland for 2 weeks over Easter

.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/31/2010 7:09:48 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 3/31/2010 9:59:00 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/31/2010 9:54:27 AM

Author: anchor31

Date: 3/31/2010 9:37:33 AM


Author: janinegirly

Date: 3/31/2010 9:22:18 AM


Author: Hudson_Hawk


Showering and dressing yourself are considered leisure activities according to this study. As is eating.

I know! Such a bunch of bull crap--what is the point of making moms feel even guiltier by having a study which says moms have more leisure time than they realize/admit. Seriously, if you polled people on the street, I''d find it hard to believe that anyone would define leisure as eating, sleeping, breathing. And even when moms are doing that, they are usually multitasking it with something else.

Agreed, these things are not leisure, they are SURVIVAL. We cannot go through a day without eating or showering! I''ll bet the people who defined ''leisure'' were childless...

Re: Multitasking - I often have to resort to eating while breastfeeding or pumping... Leisure, eh? Right. One thing I''ve wondered is that maybe some people don''t see how demanding breastfeeding can be? Sure, I''m sitting on my comfy couch and all that and don''t have to do much, but at least for me it''s very draining, and after 3 months of it my sensory defensiveness is kicking my a$$.



Re: Guilt - I''m not going to let some guy, academic or not, make me feel guilty for taking an hour or so a day to check my e-mail, FB and PS. I''d LOVE to see him in our shoes.

Agreed Anchor. And it''s not like BF''ing is a quick thing either. You''re literally held hostage for 30 or more minutes!

Ha, you need a shark like mine - 10 minutes and done!

OUCH! Tell Daisy NO BITES!

 

[packrat]

So..hows about they do a study on leisure time for dads eh?? Why concentrate on moms? If they''re equating "leisure time" as EATING well..dads eat too. I think they shower sometimes, and I know mine can dress himself. So yeah..I think men get themselves quite a bit of leisure time. And I''m betting the person who did the study is a man, and if he has kids, the wife takes care of everything, or he has no kids so no clue what really is involved?

I take a bit of leisure time..like right now, blabbing away on here when I should be putting dishes away. But uh..yeah, who is the one who will be up in the middle of the night w/Trapper''s growing pains, or if London has a nightmare or Chicken drank too much water and needs to be let out at 4? Me. My job is 24-7, no matter if I''m sick or tired.

Studies like that are very amusing.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

When everyone else is asleep for the night, and you are yawwnnnnn enjoying the peace for a few minutes, that''s my leisure time!(and lurking around on PS)

These studies are nuts-go study how many times a guy touches(or "adjusts" himself as my hubby says) himself and the remote at the same time-THAT''s leisure time!

 

[DiaDiva]

I have no kids but I just want to say I have utmost respect for SAHM and working mums especially those in countries where live-in domestic help or part-time domestic help is not readily available or affordable. Even for my GFs with live-in help, they have little "me".

 

[jas]

Date: 4/1/2010 11:10:04 PM
Author: snowflakeluvr
When everyone else is asleep for the night, and you are yawwnnnnn enjoying the peace for a few minutes, that''s my leisure time!(and lurking around on PS)

These studies are nuts-go study how many times a guy touches(or ''adjusts'' himself as my hubby says) himself and the remote at the same time-THAT''s leisure time!

Huzzah! LMAO!

I''ve been thinking about this study off and on...any thoughts on what we were supposed to do with all this fantastic data and the leisure time I didn''t realize I had in the shower?

 

[TravelingGal]

When I first read this article, I was thinking, "yeah, whatever." But I did the mental calcuation...I put her to bed at 7 every night. By 8, dinner is eaten and the table cleared. I usually try to stretch my "me" time until midnight (which makes me tired, but I just LOVE having it, so I go to bed late. Not rare for me to sometimes to go to bed between 1-2 am).

Using the 8pm-12am calculation, I get 28 hours of complete leisure time per week. Any extra I get is arrange in advance with TGuy so I can go out earlier in the evening with some gal pals.

I love being a work at home mom though, since I feel like it''s more leisure time that I can surf the web and generally relax and not take care of the kid. But I guess technically it''s working time.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 4/2/2010 12:12:06 PM
Author: TravelingGal
When I first read this article, I was thinking, ''yeah, whatever.'' But I did the mental calcuation...I put her to bed at 7 every night. By 8, dinner is eaten and the table cleared. I usually try to stretch my ''me'' time until midnight (which makes me tired, but I just LOVE having it, so I go to bed late. Not rare for me to sometimes to go to bed between 1-2 am).


Using the 8pm-12am calculation, I get 28 hours of complete leisure time per week. Any extra I get is arrange in advance with TGuy so I can go out earlier in the evening with some gal pals.


I love being a work at home mom though, since I feel like it''s more leisure time that I can surf the web and generally relax and not take care of the kid. But I guess technically it''s working time.

True, but this "study" doesn''t differentiate between SAHM, WAHM, men or working moms! Because technically most working moms can''t even get home by the time you''ve served dinner and also cannot stay up as late. So that probably at best halves the time...which would be some 10hrs a week, just enough to do basic things! And moms of 2 little ones must have almost none--they usually drop off from PS pretty significantly after 2 I notice (ie less ''leisure'' time).

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

And add every time a man thinks about sex to the leisure time list. Escapism=leisure.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 3/31/2010 7:13:30 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 3/31/2010 7:17:09 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 3/30/2010 5:31:14 PM
Author: FL Steph

Date: 3/30/2010 5:07:18 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
One thing this thread is highlighting is just how much laundry and housework people are doing.

Ha! I know, I was just thinking the one thing my post pointed out to me was that it would be nice to hire a cleaning lady and then maybe I would get a few more hours of free time! But even then, with a small baby, you are still sort of ''on call'' at all times.

EB, I totally agree with you that it becomes more fun when they get older and are able to do more outside of the house. I loved when Andrew was 2-4 before he started preschool....we used to do stuff everyday together.

Fiery, I totally believe in quality time vs. quantity. You are a great mother and S knows it

Steph, get a cleaning lady. Or a cleaning man - I used to have one of them and he was awesome. He''s the only cleaner I ever had who would do ironing too. Get one, you deserve it!

Have to say, I do prioritise my me-time over laundry, cooking, shopping etc. I have groceries delivered when I''m short on time, laundry is done once a week (get a machine that takes a double load, if you possibly can). Cooking is part of my me-time sometimes, when I''m in the mood I enjoy it, but if I''m not, there are plenty nice healthy things in the fridge. I don''t mind working (well, school for now) and I did 14 months as a SAHM, but that''s it - I''m not going to be a general household drudge as well and I don''t want to bring Amelia up to think that''s appropriate for women, either.

Ditto!

Mrs Mitchell - I think you and I think in similar ways (maybe it''s a Scottish thing? (my parents are both scots)). I definitely put ''me'' time before housework - still doesn''t help much with my monster.

Downside to the cleaning lady is that I have to tidy up before she comes and I''m useless at tidying up (I make neater piles of stuff instead). Oh, and mine irons! Hooray for Polish cleaning ladies - even if they do disappear off to Poland for 2 weeks over Easter

.

Yeah, we have a tidying up session (ok, a throwing stuff in random cupboards session) every week just before she arrives. I really don''t care if the house is clean and tidy, as long as it isn''t actually a health hazard. I think stuff does usually get cleaned during the week, because DH has a lower dirt awareness threshold than I do. It''s all down to him and the cleaning lady, I don''t participate. I''m a great cook, though. That has to count for something, right?

My parents are Scottish too. They are clean, tidy house people. I''m probably a changeling.